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The Fourth Trimester · Outspoken the Podcast

0:04
Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to a special episode of Outspoken called
0:07
Speaker 1: The Fourth Trimester. We have Kate joining us from maternity
0:11
Speaker 1: leave to discuss what life has been like since becoming
0:14
Speaker 1: a mum. There is a lot to catch up on.
0:16
Speaker 1: It's crazy to think it was around 11 weeks ago
0:18
Speaker 1: where I sat with you, Sophie, and we spoke about
0:21
Speaker 1: my birth story. So that is available on Outspoken Plus
0:24
Speaker 1: if anyone's interested.
0:25
Speaker 2: But I thought it would be good.
0:26
Speaker 1: To actually talk about what the last 12 weeks have
0:28
Speaker 1: been like because you hear all these podcasts talking about
0:32
Speaker 1: pregnancy and the lead up to it. But the fourth
0:34
Speaker 1: trimester often gets overlooked. And I think that there are
0:37
Speaker 1: so many parents currently at home who have just given
0:40
Speaker 1: birth or they're in the trenches at the moment and
0:42
Speaker 1: they want to know that it gets better. I know
0:45
Speaker 1: you are still very much in the trenches, but from
0:48
Speaker 1: seeing your experience, I think that once you reach the
0:50
Speaker 1: three month mark, you feel like you're almost in a
0:53
Speaker 1: better routine or you're more used to this new life. Well,
0:56
Speaker 1: I don't want to speak too soon because as you said,
0:58
Speaker 1: it's only 12 weeks and a lot of people talk
1:00
Speaker 1: about this four-month sleep regression that is coming up. But
1:03
Speaker 1: I do feel like I'm in a good routine at
1:05
Speaker 1: the moment. And I think for other parents, it's nice
1:08
Speaker 1: to listen to a podcast where someone is going through
1:10
Speaker 1: the same thing as them at the moment because I mean,
1:13
Speaker 1: I'm not a mother yet, but I know that it
1:15
Speaker 1: can be very isolating. You found it somewhat isolating.
1:18
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely.
1:19
Speaker 1: Because in our close friendship group, I'm the only one
1:22
Speaker 1: that has a baby. You guys are all dinks at
1:24
Speaker 1: the moment. So it is hard to relate. And I
1:28
Speaker 1: think you only know what it's really like when you
1:30
Speaker 1: become a mum. And I think our friendship group has
1:33
Speaker 1: made an effort to try and include you. But at
1:35
Speaker 1: the same time, it's hard for you because you've got
1:37
Speaker 1: this very strict feeding schedule. So it's hard to make
1:41
Speaker 1: you know, random catch-ups that you usually.
1:42
Speaker 2: Could drop everything for happen. Yeah, exactly.
1:45
Speaker 1: Now we did put up a question box on our
1:47
Speaker 1: Instagram account and you have been flooded with questions. So
1:50
Speaker 1: we've picked the best ones. Let's kick it off with
1:53
Speaker 1: how are you handling the unsolicited advice? It's unrelenting as
1:57
Speaker 1: a parent. Yeah, I was worried about this and it's
2:00
Speaker 1: part of the reason why I haven't been sharing too
2:02
Speaker 1: much on social media about the last 12 weeks, because
2:04
Speaker 1: I think it's quite a private time at the moment
2:07
Speaker 1: trying to navigate motherhood and you don't really need people
2:10
Speaker 1: on Instagram telling you that you're doing things wrong. And
2:12
Speaker 1: I know for you and Rhys, you're currently navigating what
2:15
Speaker 1: you feel comfortable sharing online.
2:17
Speaker 2: And for you, you decided to start up a close friends.
2:20
Speaker 1: List because you want to share all the cute photos
2:23
Speaker 1: and videos of Jack, but you don't necessarily feel comfortable
2:27
Speaker 1: putting that out there to the general public to then
2:29
Speaker 1: analyze what you're doing, or as you.
2:32
Speaker 2: Say, provide unsolicited advice.
2:34
Speaker 1: Yeah, also from a privacy perspective, because I'd like to
2:36
Speaker 1: share Jack with my close friends and family. But again,
2:40
Speaker 1: those pictures and videos, they don't need to be seen
2:42
Speaker 1: by everyone. And to be honest, everyone's probably not that interested.
2:44
Speaker 1: It is a safety thing too. I'm happy to provide
2:47
Speaker 1: updates here and there about Jack. But yeah, it just
2:51
Speaker 1: didn't sit right with me putting it up. And I mean,
2:53
Speaker 1: not that I have that many followers, but you know,
2:55
Speaker 1: there's people that follow the page that I don't know.
2:57
Speaker 1: So it's really made me reflect on what I will
3:00
Speaker 1: do when I have a child, hopefully one day. You
3:03
Speaker 1: guys have been pretty strict on it. I feel like
3:05
Speaker 1: I might be a bit freer with it, but again,
3:06
Speaker 1: I don't have a child right now. Yeah. Well, your
3:08
Speaker 1: motherly instincts kick in because Sophie's always like, oh, I've
3:11
Speaker 1: got this really cute video of Jack.
3:12
Speaker 2: Can I share?
3:13
Speaker 1: And maybe in time I'll be a Can't we just
3:18
Speaker 1: enjoy him ourselves? Yeah.
3:20
Speaker 2: Well, because you.
3:21
Speaker 1: Have been pretty careful about what you've put up, do
3:23
Speaker 1: you think that you have received a lot of unsolicited
3:25
Speaker 1: advice or have you been kind of okay? Well, not
3:29
Speaker 1: from people on social media, but, you know, amongst friends
3:31
Speaker 1: and family, you're always going to get some advice. I mean,
3:34
Speaker 1: my mum has been super helpful at the moment and
3:36
Speaker 1: so has all my other family. But for me, I'm
3:39
Speaker 1: so happy to take on my mum's advice. She brought
3:41
Speaker 1: up triplets, but she has been very careful of how
3:44
Speaker 1: she gives advice and It can be tricky though, because
3:47
Speaker 1: we're following this quite strict sleep routine at the moment.
3:51
Speaker 1: And people have opinions on sleep routines as well with newborns.
3:54
Speaker 2: Exactly.
3:55
Speaker 1: So I'm probably going to get a whole bunch of
3:56
Speaker 1: unsolicited advice after this podcast episode drops, but also just
4:00
Speaker 1: explaining it to family members like, oh, this is how
4:02
Speaker 1: we're burping. And this is how we're doing this and that.
4:05
Speaker 1: And it's just funny because it's different.
4:07
Speaker 2: To what they would have done.
4:08
Speaker 1: Well, burping has changed so much because I know when
4:11
Speaker 1: we were born, I'd see these photos of our parents
4:14
Speaker 1: just throwing us over their shoulder with a vomit cloth
4:17
Speaker 1: and we'd be always vomiting. Yeah. But with Jack, because
4:20
Speaker 1: I think we'll go into this further in the episode,
4:23
Speaker 1: but you were doing the Dr. Golly sleep routine and
4:25
Speaker 1: it involves lying him down and then you've got him
4:28
Speaker 1: up and down. Like it's, It's a full routine. Yeah,
4:31
Speaker 1: it is a full routine. I never knew that burping
4:33
Speaker 1: would take so long, but it does seem to be
4:35
Speaker 1: working very well.
4:36
Speaker 2: With this sleep. Yeah.
4:38
Speaker 1: I just want to point out before we get too
4:39
Speaker 1: deep into this episode that these are just the things
4:42
Speaker 1: that work for you. This won't necessarily work for everyone
4:45
Speaker 1: and everyone has their own way of bringing up their child. Yes,
4:48
Speaker 1: just a disclaimer that we are not experts in this field,
4:50
Speaker 1: but I'm just talking about what I have been doing
4:52
Speaker 1: and what's been working for me. So the next question is,
4:55
Speaker 1: what has been the most challenging thing about mum life
4:57
Speaker 1: so far? Now for me, I think it's been living
5:00
Speaker 1: life in four hour blocks. So we were advised by
5:04
Speaker 1: our midwives to feed Jack every four hours. Some people
5:07
Speaker 1: every two, some people every three, but four hours has
5:10
Speaker 1: worked for us.
5:10
Speaker 2: Or some people cluster feed. Yes, exactly.
5:13
Speaker 1: So it's weird to kind of look at your life
5:16
Speaker 1: in these four hour blocks and the lack of control
5:19
Speaker 1: that you have. So before I was the center of
5:23
Speaker 1: my universe. If I wanted to stay up late, I could.
5:25
Speaker 1: If I wanted to you know, cook my dinner late,
5:28
Speaker 1: but I have to really work within this tight time schedule.
5:32
Speaker 1: So that is really tricky to get your head around.
5:35
Speaker 1: And I didn't realize that when you start feeding, it
5:39
Speaker 1: doesn't matter how long the feed takes. The next feed
5:41
Speaker 1: is due within that block of time. So it just
5:44
Speaker 1: was really hard to get my head around that. Getting
5:47
Speaker 1: out of the house is very difficult at the moment.
5:49
Speaker 1: And it's not so much because of Jack. Like I've
5:51
Speaker 1: said to my mom, It's not him.
5:53
Speaker 2: It's the dogs.
5:54
Speaker 1: I've got two golden retrievers and they make it very difficult.
5:57
Speaker 1: They're very attached to me at the moment. There's a
5:59
Speaker 1: bit of separation anxiety going on. It's funny you say
6:02
Speaker 1: that because we took Jack for his first dinner out
6:06
Speaker 1: with the gals on a Saturday night a couple of
6:08
Speaker 1: weeks ago and I had to come over to your
6:10
Speaker 1: house and it was like a military operation because we
6:13
Speaker 1: had to distract the dogs. So you had pre-made these
6:15
Speaker 1: huge Kongs that we quickly threw in the hallway. We
6:18
Speaker 1: then escaped through a back door and Well, when into
6:22
Speaker 1: the garage, it is really difficult with your dogs. Yeah. Well,
6:25
Speaker 1: someone did ask, how are my goldens going? Because they're
6:28
Speaker 1: having a bit of trouble with their golden retriever. And
6:32
Speaker 1: it's funny because Sunny is the one that we were
6:34
Speaker 1: worried about. So she's a three-year-old.
6:36
Speaker 2: That- She's three now.
6:37
Speaker 1: Well, she turns three in a couple of weeks and
6:40
Speaker 1: she's the one that just destroyed our couch. She eats
6:42
Speaker 1: everything and Shadow's a lot more docile. He loves to
6:45
Speaker 1: bark though, so you might hear him in the background.
6:47
Speaker 1: But we thought Shadow would be like the one that
6:50
Speaker 1: loved Jack.
6:50
Speaker 2: But it's Sunny. She was so excited.
6:52
Speaker 1: She was just trying to lick his head. Shadow just
6:55
Speaker 1: couldn't care less. He's in a bit of a hump
6:57
Speaker 1: about it. But it's very sweet because Shadow will always
7:00
Speaker 1: come into the nursery when we're feeding and just sit
7:02
Speaker 1: with us. I wonder if it's because Shadow's older and
7:04
Speaker 1: he's more used to his ways. Yeah, well, he is
7:07
Speaker 1: turning seven in December. And he's used to, you know,
7:11
Speaker 1: he's had his sister come in and turn his life
7:13
Speaker 1: upside down. So I think he's just like, oh, not
7:15
Speaker 1: another thing. But they are very sweet with him. But
7:18
Speaker 1: as I said, they literally go nuts when I try
7:20
Speaker 1: and leave the house. We've already got toddler gates because
7:23
Speaker 1: of them in the house. Which makes it a bit easier. Well,
7:26
Speaker 1: it kind of makes it harder because I've got to
7:27
Speaker 1: get them behind the toddler gates. Anyway, it's a bit
7:30
Speaker 1: of an ordeal. We had a couple of listeners asking
7:33
Speaker 1: about baby blues. So one listener said, please shine a
7:36
Speaker 1: light on baby blues. It's not discussed nearly enough. Did
7:38
Speaker 1: you get the baby blues around day three, five? Hormones
7:42
Speaker 1: are wild. I feel very fortunate to say that I
7:44
Speaker 1: have not yet experienced baby blues, but I do agree
7:47
Speaker 1: it is really important to talk about. And I did
7:49
Speaker 1: hear a lot of people talk about them on pregnancy podcasts.
7:52
Speaker 1: So I was really nervous because I'm someone that's quite
7:55
Speaker 1: health anxious anyway. I know they're quite separate things. So
7:58
Speaker 1: I've definitely had heightened anxiety around Jack's safety. And when
8:03
Speaker 1: I used to do night feeds, I would get so
8:05
Speaker 1: nervous that he'd cough and choke. And, you know, it's
8:08
Speaker 1: horrible when you're the only one there. So I've definitely
8:10
Speaker 1: had increased anxiety, but I haven't had that depression or.
8:14
Speaker 2: Baby blues fortunately yet.
8:16
Speaker 1: I know in particular, our mom was very wary that
8:19
Speaker 1: you might be feeling low on day three and five.
8:22
Speaker 1: And that was when you were back at home because
8:23
Speaker 1: you did only spend, I think, two days in.
8:25
Speaker 2: Hospital despite having a cesarean.
8:28
Speaker 1: But you, yeah, you were very lucky and fortunate not
8:31
Speaker 1: to experience it. I was waiting for it on day
8:33
Speaker 1: three and five because that's when your milk comes in.
8:36
Speaker 1: But I wonder if it's because I had a cesarean
8:38
Speaker 1: and I was on very strong painkillers.
8:40
Speaker 2: That could be why, actually.
8:43
Speaker 1: Yeah. Someone said, does it get better after the first
8:45
Speaker 1: six weeks? I'm three weeks postpartum and struggling. The first
8:48
Speaker 1: three weeks, I think, are the hardest because you're just
8:51
Speaker 1: getting used to this being your new normal. I'm so
8:53
Speaker 1: sorry to hear that you are struggling at the moment.
8:55
Speaker 1: From my personal perspective, and of course all babies are different,
8:59
Speaker 1: but I found that after the six-week mark, it did
9:02
Speaker 1: get a lot easier. I mean, we've only– been going
9:04
Speaker 1: here for 12 weeks. So we'll see how that all goes.
9:07
Speaker 1: But at that point, I started to implement a bit
9:10
Speaker 1: more of a routine and that really helped me just
9:13
Speaker 1: from a mental perspective to know, okay, well, this is
9:15
Speaker 1: what the next couple of hours looks like and things
9:17
Speaker 1: are going to pop up that are out of your control.
9:20
Speaker 1: But just having that routine to stick with really helped. Well,
9:24
Speaker 1: I think it's good for parents to know that there
9:25
Speaker 1: is some light at the end of the tunnel. Now,
9:28
Speaker 1: what about expectation versus realities? I came into motherhood with
9:33
Speaker 1: very low expectations. So I always knew that I wanted
9:36
Speaker 1: to have children, but the decision to actually have a
9:39
Speaker 1: baby was a tough one for me because at the
9:42
Speaker 1: time I was 34 and very selfish and set in
9:45
Speaker 1: my ways. And as you touched on, we're very social people.
9:48
Speaker 1: We usually go out to dinner a couple of times
9:50
Speaker 1: a week with friends and all of that I knew
9:53
Speaker 1: would have to stop. And it is hard to stop
9:55
Speaker 1: those things that you enjoy, but it's definitely worth it.
9:59
Speaker 1: I I know everyone talks about the love that you
10:02
Speaker 1: feel for your baby and it is hard to put
10:03
Speaker 1: into words those feelings because again, you don't know what
10:07
Speaker 1: it's like until you actually experience it firsthand. And I
10:11
Speaker 1: remember saying to my friends, I'm not going to be
10:12
Speaker 1: one of those people that stick to some ridiculous routine,
10:15
Speaker 1: but that literally is me.
10:17
Speaker 2: That's your life at the moment. Yeah, I was like, oh,
10:19
Speaker 2: the baby's going to have to fit in with my life.
10:21
Speaker 1: I'll be able to bring him out. And I have
10:22
Speaker 1: brought him out to dinner once. But now I'm like,
10:24
Speaker 1: I need to be at home. I just want to
10:26
Speaker 1: make sure he gets enough sleep because when your sleep
10:29
Speaker 1: is threatened, you will do anything to make sure that
10:31
Speaker 1: your baby sleeps well.
10:32
Speaker 2: But I think you've found different ways to catch up
10:35
Speaker 2: with friends. Yeah.
10:37
Speaker 1: I think because, I mean, one thing that we've been
10:39
Speaker 1: doing a bit is we'll come over to your house
10:41
Speaker 1: and we'll all take him for.
10:42
Speaker 2: A nice river walk.
10:43
Speaker 1: Yeah. There's other occasions where we'll just bring takeaway over
10:47
Speaker 1: to your house at night time and we'll all have takeaway. Like, yeah,
10:50
Speaker 1: I mean, you're probably saving a bit of money by
10:52
Speaker 1: not going out. But I think once Jack gets a
10:54
Speaker 1: bit older, you will be able to have a night
10:56
Speaker 1: out with your friends. It's, you know, not all doom
10:59
Speaker 1: and gloom.
10:59
Speaker 2: And also, Rhys is always like, I'm so happy to
11:01
Speaker 2: look after him, but it's me. Like, I feel guilty. Like,
11:03
Speaker 2: that mum guilt sinks in about leaving the house.
11:07
Speaker 1: See, which I think you've got to stop feeling guilty
11:10
Speaker 1: because Rhys is back at work. You're looking after Jack
11:13
Speaker 1: full time at home. I think that sometimes for your
11:16
Speaker 1: own sanity, you might need one night out. Yeah. Well,
11:20
Speaker 1: one really good thing that we implemented from the start
11:22
Speaker 1: that we'll get into a little bit later is combination feeding.
11:25
Speaker 1: So I am doing breastfeeding and then also expressing milk
11:28
Speaker 1: and doing formula. And that has been amazing because it
11:32
Speaker 1: does allow Rhys to feed Jack if I do want
11:34
Speaker 1: to go out. So, and he takes the bottle really well.
11:38
Speaker 1: So we've got pigeon bottles and they're incredible. Now, another
11:41
Speaker 1: follower wrote in saying, was it what you expected? What
11:44
Speaker 1: did you wish you'd known? Congrats. Well, I kind of
11:47
Speaker 1: touched on this a little bit earlier, but despite going
11:49
Speaker 1: to a breastfeeding class, I had no idea how often
11:52
Speaker 1: babies fed. Do you think that would be something they
11:54
Speaker 1: may mention? We're also currently trying to get Jack to
11:58
Speaker 1: sleep independently in his cot. So I didn't know how
12:01
Speaker 1: much time it took to actually get your baby to
12:04
Speaker 1: go to sleep. Like I kind of just thought, oh,
12:06
Speaker 1: they're probably just sleepy. You know, you don't have to
12:09
Speaker 1: rock them. You don't have to do all of these things.
12:11
Speaker 1: Like it can take so long to get him to
12:13
Speaker 1: go to sleep and then he'll go to sleep. And
12:17
Speaker 1: then because babies have 40 minute sleep cycles and then
12:20
Speaker 1: in 40 minutes he'll be awake again and you've got
12:22
Speaker 1: to go in and resettle him. The next one is
12:24
Speaker 1: about how you see yourself as a person and your
12:28
Speaker 1: body now. And they said it's so hard to see
12:30
Speaker 1: the changes. It is a controversial topic to touch on
12:34
Speaker 1: because there's a lot of conversations around bounce back culture.
12:40
Speaker 1: And I think that is really unhelpful for women. But
12:44
Speaker 1: to be honest, it is hard when your body changes
12:47
Speaker 1: so much and you're not used to seeing your body
12:49
Speaker 1: in a certain way.
12:50
Speaker 2: I think that's just human.
12:52
Speaker 1: And I think pretending that somehow we've cured this obsession
12:57
Speaker 1: with our bodies and that, you know, women don't want
13:00
Speaker 1: to bounce back in inverted commas. I don't think that's
13:03
Speaker 1: helpful either because there is a sense where you do
13:06
Speaker 1: want to look like what you used to, but that's
13:08
Speaker 1: not always possible. So I think it's just about being
13:12
Speaker 1: kind to yourself. And I, it helped me because I
13:15
Speaker 1: had a cesarean. So I actually had to recover for
13:18
Speaker 1: six weeks, which meant I couldn't do anything. I'm still
13:21
Speaker 1: not doing anything. Like I'll occasionally go for walks, but
13:24
Speaker 1: it's impossible at the moment for me to get out
13:27
Speaker 1: of the house and go do a workout or even
13:29
Speaker 1: go for a big walk.
13:31
Speaker 2: Because again, I'd have to take two golden retrievers with
13:34
Speaker 2: me and a pram, which is just impossible. So I'm trying.
13:40
Speaker 1: To be really kind to myself, but there are voices
13:44
Speaker 1: in the back of my head that's like, oh, summer's
13:46
Speaker 1: coming up. I'd like to look like what I used to.
13:48
Speaker 1: And I have to tell myself, you've had a baby.
13:51
Speaker 1: What I find really hard is when you see a
13:54
Speaker 1: lot of influencers absolutely thrashing themselves in the gym when
13:58
Speaker 1: they're pregnant. Because I mean, Sarah's day, I think is
14:02
Speaker 1: 32 weeks pregnant at the moment. And her workout routine
14:06
Speaker 1: is very rigorous. I know that she has a pregnancy guide,
14:11
Speaker 1: but to me, it makes me feel uncomfortable to see
14:13
Speaker 1: someone so heavily pregnant working out to that level. We
14:16
Speaker 1: also touched on M Davies and how she has spoken
14:19
Speaker 1: about sticking to a pretty strict workout routine whilst pregnant.
14:23
Speaker 1: And she recently had her baby and she's been sharing
14:26
Speaker 1: a lot of.
14:27
Speaker 2: Sort of body check.
14:28
Speaker 1: So she showed her tummy or herself getting into a
14:32
Speaker 1: pair of pants two weeks after giving birth.
14:34
Speaker 2: And her stomach literally looked like what it did before.
14:37
Speaker 1: Oh, that actually really triggered me. And Sarah's Day's content
14:41
Speaker 1: has triggered me. I mean, I am to blame when
14:43
Speaker 1: it comes to Sarah's Day, because I don't know why
14:45
Speaker 1: I did this to myself. When I was breastfeeding, I
14:47
Speaker 1: was like, I wonder what she looked like postpartum. And
14:49
Speaker 1: I went back and I started watching all the videos
14:51
Speaker 1: of her when she had her first baby fox.
14:54
Speaker 2: And I'm like, why am I doing this to myself?
14:56
Speaker 1: Sometimes you just can't help the comparison though, because you're
14:59
Speaker 1: curious to see what other women are like at the
15:02
Speaker 1: same stages as you. Yeah. So I was pretty surprised
15:05
Speaker 1: after I gave birth because what I've seen on social media,
15:09
Speaker 1: people's stomachs just go back in.
15:10
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, mine hasn't.
15:12
Speaker 1: Like it actually takes eight weeks or six weeks for
15:15
Speaker 1: it to actually start to go down like your uterus
15:18
Speaker 1: to contract. And that really surprised me. And I was
15:21
Speaker 1: a bit like, oh, I thought, For some reason, I'm
15:24
Speaker 1: just like, oh, I've always been, you know, a straight-sized person.
15:27
Speaker 1: I thought that I might just, my stomach might go down. But,
15:30
Speaker 1: you know, that is why social media can be so dangerous.
15:34
Speaker 1: I think that's why TikTok is so good because I'm
15:37
Speaker 1: obviously all over mum talk now. And there are a
15:39
Speaker 1: lot of women saying, hey, this is what a body
15:42
Speaker 1: looks like after you've given birth. I have to take
15:44
Speaker 1: my hat off to Jade Tunchi because she is really
15:47
Speaker 1: growing on me. I know that we have spoken in
15:50
Speaker 1: detail about some of the controversy that she's been previously
15:52
Speaker 1: caught up in.
15:53
Speaker 2: But I think that she's.
15:54
Speaker 1: Really turned a new leaf because I really love how
15:58
Speaker 1: real she's been about motherhood because she isn't trying to
16:02
Speaker 1: bounce back. She is trying to spend time with her child.
16:05
Speaker 1: And she spoke on a podcast recently saying that she
16:08
Speaker 1: has been triggered by other influencers sharing these body checks.
16:12
Speaker 1: And she herself has thought, well, why don't I look
16:14
Speaker 1: like that too? But she looks at her stomach and thinks, well,
16:18
Speaker 1: it's pretty miraculous that I brought a baby into this world. Yeah.
16:21
Speaker 1: You keep having to remind yourself of that because I'm like, wow,
16:24
Speaker 1: 12 weeks ago, he was inside my stomach. It's absolutely
16:27
Speaker 1: crazy and amazing at the same time. I have really
16:30
Speaker 1: resonated more with Jade Tunchi's content as well. I think
16:33
Speaker 1: motherhood has really opened her eyes and made her a
16:36
Speaker 1: lot more relatable.
16:37
Speaker 2: What about how you feel about yourself as a person though?
16:40
Speaker 2: Because I know for us.
16:41
Speaker 1: Before you got pregnant, a lot of our worries about
16:44
Speaker 1: becoming a mum is that People only see you as
16:47
Speaker 1: a mum.
16:48
Speaker 2: They don't see you as anything else.
16:50
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've got to admit, I do hate when people
16:54
Speaker 1: call me mama or mum because I'm like, well, I'm
16:57
Speaker 1: not your mum.
16:58
Speaker 2: And that's not what completely defines me.
17:02
Speaker 1: It's weird because I don't really think of myself as
17:04
Speaker 1: a parent. It's hard to get my head around the
17:06
Speaker 1: fact that I actually have a child. Well, you're prepared
17:09
Speaker 1: for Christmas. You've already bought Jack his own special stocking
17:13
Speaker 1: and then you were showing me yours and it said
17:15
Speaker 1: mum across it.
17:16
Speaker 2: And immediately I was like, is that for our mum?
17:18
Speaker 2: Like it didn't compute that it's for you.
17:20
Speaker 1: So yeah, well, so during the 2am breastfeeds, it popped
17:24
Speaker 1: into my head how important it was for Jack to
17:26
Speaker 1: have a really nice Christmas stocking because we still have
17:29
Speaker 1: ours from when we were little. And I'm like, I
17:31
Speaker 1: need to make sure it's a really nice one. So
17:33
Speaker 1: I have found this Etsy store that do personalized stockings
17:36
Speaker 1: and they're so cute. And then I was like, oh, well,
17:39
Speaker 1: if Jack has one, Reese and I should have one.
17:42
Speaker 1: And I'm like to mom, should I have Reese and
17:44
Speaker 1: Kate or mom and dad? And mom's like, you've got
17:45
Speaker 1: to have mom and dad. So yeah, it is really
17:47
Speaker 1: weird to refer to yourself as mom. I'm sure once
17:50
Speaker 1: Jack can actually talk, it will sit better with me.
17:54
Speaker 1: What do you feel about returning to work? Because your
17:57
Speaker 1: maternity leave is technically up.
17:59
Speaker 2: In four weeks. Yes, it is. Which is just wild.
18:02
Speaker 2: I can't believe that this is the system in place.
18:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is crazy. I mean, I suppose it depends
18:07
Speaker 1: on workplaces. I am employed by Outspoken, P-T-Y-L-T-D. Come on,
18:11
Speaker 1: pick up your shit, Outspoken. I'm actually excited to get
18:14
Speaker 1: back to work. I'm just stressed how it's going to
18:16
Speaker 1: work because I'm on this strict schedule, but you and Amy,
18:20
Speaker 1: you're a bit more lax with your timings, particularly Amy. Well,
18:22
Speaker 1: we're not lax with our timings. We run another business
18:25
Speaker 1: as well, which makes things difficult. Yeah, but Amy's not
18:28
Speaker 1: really a stickler for being on time. Like I'll usually
18:30
Speaker 1: say I'll be here at 12 and.
18:32
Speaker 2: She'll get here at one. To be fair, I think
18:34
Speaker 2: that it's a Torba trait being late.
18:36
Speaker 1: Yes. And yes, I was exactly the same before, but
18:39
Speaker 1: now that I've got this strict schedule to run to,
18:41
Speaker 1: it is stressful. So I'm planning to get, hopefully it,
18:45
Speaker 1: I mean, again, it depends on the day. I'm hoping
18:48
Speaker 1: that I can get work done during Jack's naps, but
18:51
Speaker 1: I will be relying on.
18:52
Speaker 2: Babysitters as well.
18:53
Speaker 1: And I do have to shout out to my mom.
18:55
Speaker 1: She has been absolutely incredible. I would be lost without her.
18:59
Speaker 1: She's over lots of mornings and afternoons helping me. And
19:03
Speaker 1: it's just so nice to have someone here to talk
19:05
Speaker 1: to because it can be isolating. Now, one follower wrote,
19:08
Speaker 1: what are a few things that have surprised you so far?
19:11
Speaker 1: One thing that really surprised me when Jack was first
19:13
Speaker 1: born was how dry his skin was. I know that
19:16
Speaker 1: sounds really random, but Babies essentially shed this layer of skin.
19:20
Speaker 1: So we're trying to moisturize him, but the midwives are like, no,
19:23
Speaker 1: that's very normal.
19:24
Speaker 2: It's all fine.
19:24
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I forgot that he was a bit scaly.
19:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, but his skin is super soft now. It is
19:30
Speaker 2: so soft. I get told off because I'm always trying
19:32
Speaker 2: to kiss him on the cheeks. Yeah, I'm like, stop it.
19:34
Speaker 1: He gets nude lipstick all over him.
19:38
Speaker 2: And then his hair is so soft too. I'm always
19:40
Speaker 2: touching that. Are you still brushing it? No, I haven't
19:43
Speaker 2: for a while.
19:43
Speaker 1: It's starting to fall out when they get that patch
19:45
Speaker 1: because they've been lying on their head for too long.
19:48
Speaker 1: The other thing that has surprised me is, especially in
19:51
Speaker 1: the first couple of weeks, Reese and I have both
19:53
Speaker 1: had it where we'll be asleep and we've woken up
19:56
Speaker 1: thinking that Jack is in the bed with us and
19:58
Speaker 1: he's all in the covers and I'll actually reach around.
20:02
Speaker 1: There was one time where I thought Reese's head was
20:05
Speaker 1: Jack and I was like, Oh my God. And I
20:08
Speaker 1: was like touching him and Rhys is like, what the
20:10
Speaker 1: hell is going on?
20:11
Speaker 2: Well, they do look very similar. Jack is a mini
20:13
Speaker 2: me of Rhys. They do.
20:15
Speaker 1: The other thing is the lengths that you'll go to,
20:17
Speaker 1: to be quiet for the baby when he's sleeping. So
20:21
Speaker 1: it's really gross, but we've got an en suite and
20:24
Speaker 1: also like a main toilet and we won't flush the
20:26
Speaker 1: toilet when Jack is asleep. So it's actually, it feels
20:30
Speaker 1: like it's turned into a long drop.
20:31
Speaker 2: It's disgusting. Oh yeah. Remind me never to use your
20:34
Speaker 2: en suite. That is gross. Now, there's also a question,
20:38
Speaker 2: is it harder than you expected?
20:40
Speaker 1: I went in with very low expectations and a lot
20:42
Speaker 1: of people said to me, you'll be grateful if you
20:44
Speaker 1: have a shower again, kind of thing. And I think
20:47
Speaker 1: it's because I've been open to accepting so much help
20:50
Speaker 1: from my mum that I am able to have a
20:53
Speaker 1: shower and I have been putting on makeup because those
20:56
Speaker 1: things make me feel a lot more myself.
20:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the thing.
20:59
Speaker 1: I really feel for people who don't have the support
21:02
Speaker 1: of family or friends because it would just be impossible
21:05
Speaker 1: because the days where mum doesn't come over to help,
21:07
Speaker 1: you'll ring me and be like, fuck, I haven't even
21:09
Speaker 1: had a.
21:09
Speaker 2: Shower, I haven't got anything, my makeup on, I haven't
21:11
Speaker 2: done anything. I know.
21:12
Speaker 1: I think I'm very spoiled and mum will bring me
21:15
Speaker 1: over like a bread roll that I can put salad in.
21:18
Speaker 1: The other day I'm like, oh, my God, I've been
21:19
Speaker 1: home alone and I.
21:21
Speaker 2: Haven't had anything to eat.
21:22
Speaker 1: So I think I would be finding it much more
21:25
Speaker 1: difficult if it wasn't for all the help that I've
21:26
Speaker 1: been given. Everyone needs a Linda Torper in their life.
21:29
Speaker 1: That woman is absolutely incredible.
21:31
Speaker 2: I mean, for her, because she raised three at once.
21:33
Speaker 2: One's probably like, whatever. Yeah, exactly.
21:36
Speaker 1: Now, listeners are keen to know what have been your
21:39
Speaker 1: top three favorite slash most used products?
21:43
Speaker 2: I actually got a bit greedy. I wrote more than
21:44
Speaker 2: three down. God, you've got, I'm looking at your notes.
21:47
Speaker 2: You have a fair list here. Yeah.
21:49
Speaker 1: So the first is those Bonds double zip onesies.
21:53
Speaker 2: They are incredible.
21:54
Speaker 1: Don't go out and buy a heap of fancy baby
21:57
Speaker 1: clothes because you don't need them. The Bonds ones are
21:59
Speaker 1: so cute as well. Like they've got stripy ones. They've
22:02
Speaker 1: got spots, different patterns.
22:04
Speaker 2: They're really cute.
22:04
Speaker 1: And don't buy them full price. They always have 40%
22:06
Speaker 1: off sale. So I wait for those.
22:08
Speaker 2: Well, I know you were saying to me that it's
22:10
Speaker 2: really important to get the zips.
22:12
Speaker 1: Yeah. So the double zips in particular, because that means
22:16
Speaker 1: you don't have to like zip the whole outfit down.
22:18
Speaker 1: You can just kind of zip halfway and change the nappy.
22:21
Speaker 1: And buttons, you can't be dealing with them at 2 a.m.
22:24
Speaker 1: The other thing I would also recommend is a love
22:26
Speaker 1: to dream sleep suit. So instead of swaddling your baby,
22:30
Speaker 1: I don't even know how to swaddle. Like the midwife
22:32
Speaker 1: taught Reese how to do it, but because I was
22:35
Speaker 1: bed bound in hospital because of my cesarean, I never
22:38
Speaker 1: did it. I don't think anyone really swaddles anymore, do they?
22:41
Speaker 1: Some people do, but these sleep suits, you just zip
22:44
Speaker 1: them up.
22:44
Speaker 2: They're great.
22:45
Speaker 1: They do grow out of them very quickly. Well, they
22:48
Speaker 1: can be expensive as well. Yeah.
22:49
Speaker 2: We don't have to get the love to dream. There
22:51
Speaker 2: are other brands. I think Big W and Kmart have
22:54
Speaker 2: their own versions.
22:55
Speaker 1: Jack looks so cute in them too. He looks like
22:57
Speaker 1: a little star because he likes to hold his hands
22:59
Speaker 1: in the corner. Yeah, he actually reminds me of a
23:01
Speaker 1: gingerbread man when he's wearing them. Another thing that I
23:04
Speaker 1: love is the Yubi nappy bin. So I actually heard
23:09
Speaker 1: Jessie Stevens on her podcast recommend this and I'd already
23:12
Speaker 1: chosen it. So I felt very validated in my selection
23:15
Speaker 1: and it has been so good. So it is a
23:18
Speaker 1: little bit expensive. I think it was like $ 100 or $ 150.
23:21
Speaker 1: But it means that you don't have to constantly go
23:23
Speaker 1: out and put nappies in the big bin outside.
23:26
Speaker 2: It surprises me how small it is because we are
23:28
Speaker 2: recording in your nursery. I'm looking at it.
23:30
Speaker 1: For some reason, I thought it'd be double the size,
23:31
Speaker 1: but I suppose nappies are quite small. You do have
23:34
Speaker 1: to change it quite a bit.
23:35
Speaker 2: Well, you won't want the smell. No, well, that's the thing.
23:37
Speaker 1: It actually keeps the smell in. I mean, we don't
23:39
Speaker 1: put pooey nappies in there. We do put them straight
23:41
Speaker 1: in the bin, but we just put the wet ones
23:43
Speaker 1: in there. And also the good thing about it is
23:46
Speaker 1: there's these other bins, I think like the Tommy Tippy bin,
23:49
Speaker 1: where you have to actually buy special bin bags for it. These,
23:52
Speaker 1: you just put normal bin bags in and it's very cheap.
23:56
Speaker 1: I know a big one for you has been the
23:57
Speaker 1: breast pump. Like when you left hospital, you're like immediately,
24:00
Speaker 1: I need this. The first thing I need to do
24:01
Speaker 1: when I leave hospital is go to baby bunting and
24:03
Speaker 1: pick one out. Yeah, actually mum did that for me,
24:05
Speaker 1: which was kind of her. So I got the Medulla
24:09
Speaker 1: Freestyle Hands-Free Breast Pump.
24:11
Speaker 2: It's not cheap. I paid 500 bucks for it, but
24:15
Speaker 2: it is worth every dollar.
24:16
Speaker 1: So it's funny you say that because my sister-in-law is pregnant,
24:20
Speaker 1: which is so exciting. And she wanted a recommendation from
24:24
Speaker 1: you about a breast pump. But my father-in-law, he is
24:27
Speaker 1: so thrifty.
24:28
Speaker 2: I love him so much.
24:29
Speaker 1: He loves going to garage sales and he saw a
24:33
Speaker 1: secondhand baby pump listed.
24:35
Speaker 2: And he's like, do you want this? Like, I can
24:37
Speaker 2: get it for you.
24:38
Speaker 1: And my first reaction was like, oh, that's a bit gross.
24:40
Speaker 2: But as you pointed out to me, you would change
24:43
Speaker 2: all of the cups.
24:44
Speaker 1: Like it's only the mechanics of the device that you
24:46
Speaker 1: would be using really.
24:48
Speaker 2: I think you can.
24:50
Speaker 1: Now don't quote me on this, but I did hear
24:51
Speaker 1: Victoria Devine on She's On The Money talking about it.
24:54
Speaker 1: You can actually, yeah, buy the different pump and like,
24:57
Speaker 1: you know, different bits of the equipment. So I suppose
25:00
Speaker 1: the expensive bit is the actual pump bit.
25:02
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, that's a thing.
25:04
Speaker 1: I think our marketplace, there's so many secondhand baby things
25:07
Speaker 1: because But realistically, you use some of these items for only.
25:10
Speaker 2: A couple of weeks. So it's a great place that
25:12
Speaker 2: you can find something cost effective.
25:14
Speaker 1: Yeah. And this one is so good because it's hands free.
25:16
Speaker 1: And also you don't have to be connected to the
25:18
Speaker 1: wall when you use it.
25:19
Speaker 2: It's got a battery. So it's really good.
25:21
Speaker 1: This is what has blown my mind though. How expensive
25:24
Speaker 1: some baby things are. Yeah. Well, the thing is though,
25:26
Speaker 1: you don't need the top breast pump. I just decided
25:29
Speaker 1: that that was one of the things that I really
25:31
Speaker 1: wanted to spend money on. Whereas in my nursery, I
25:33
Speaker 1: got a Target cot that was, I think, $ 100 and
25:36
Speaker 1: something and I got Ikea drawers. So it just depends
25:39
Speaker 1: where you want to spend the money. Another thing I
25:41
Speaker 1: would highly recommend, and I was gifted this, I was
25:44
Speaker 1: very fortunate to get it, is the Nana Baby Monitor.
25:47
Speaker 2: It is so incredible. We did a video about it.
25:49
Speaker 2: It's crazy.
25:50
Speaker 1: So Rhys can be, well, he often does. He is
25:53
Speaker 1: like watches us while we're in the nursery when he's
25:56
Speaker 1: at work. I never want to have a conversation with
25:58
Speaker 1: you in this nursery because I know that Rhys could
26:00
Speaker 1: tune in at any opportunity.
26:02
Speaker 2: I mean, he's getting a free podcast here if he
26:04
Speaker 2: cares to listen.
26:04
Speaker 1: Yeah.
26:05
Speaker 2: So he can actually, it'd be funny to see if
26:07
Speaker 2: he actually says anything. He might be listening right now.
26:09
Speaker 1: He can actually, from his office, press the microphone button
26:12
Speaker 1: and talk into it.
26:13
Speaker 2: So the other day he freaked us out.
26:15
Speaker 1: He said something and I was like, did he just
26:18
Speaker 1: say something?
26:19
Speaker 2: Another thing I would recommend is a portable change mat.
26:21
Speaker 1: So I was tossing up whether I buy a changing
26:24
Speaker 1: table or just put a change mat on top of
26:26
Speaker 1: my drawers. And I'm so happy I did that because
26:29
Speaker 1: Jack can use these drawers, you know, until he's older.
26:31
Speaker 1: Whereas if it was a change table, it's not like
26:33
Speaker 1: he's going to get much use out of that.
26:35
Speaker 2: So we just.
26:35
Speaker 1: Moved that Kmart changing mat to the family room. And
26:39
Speaker 1: in here, it's really good. And my final recommendation is
26:42
Speaker 1: Pigeon Bottles. Now, today's episode is brought to you by Pigeon.
26:46
Speaker 1: But before Jack was born, I was doing research into
26:48
Speaker 1: what bottle I should get. I had no idea. I
26:51
Speaker 1: went on TikTok and I also looked at a lot
26:53
Speaker 1: of blogs. And pigeon kept coming up. And I thought
26:56
Speaker 1: it was funny because our last name Torver in German
26:59
Speaker 1: actually means pigeon. So I was actually drawn to that originally.
27:03
Speaker 1: But they had such good reviews. And because Jack was
27:07
Speaker 1: put on formula when he was two days old as
27:09
Speaker 1: a top up, He took to the bottle instantly. It
27:12
Speaker 1: was so good because I heard of so many people
27:14
Speaker 1: saying that their baby would reject all these different bottles
27:17
Speaker 1: and they had to buy so many. Moving on to
27:19
Speaker 1: the next question. One listener has written in to say,
27:22
Speaker 1: do you feel like having a newborn has impacted your
27:24
Speaker 1: relationship with your husband? Having a baby has shown me
27:28
Speaker 1: how important it is to actually be with the right
27:31
Speaker 1: person because I think if you didn't have a strong relationship,
27:36
Speaker 1: then it would be really hard.
27:38
Speaker 2: Or a partner who doesn't do anything. Yeah, exactly. So
27:41
Speaker 2: Rhys and I, I feel have been such an amazing team.
27:43
Speaker 1: So he had the first three weeks off and I
27:46
Speaker 1: would have loved him to have more time, but he
27:48
Speaker 1: was changing jobs. He got a new job just when
27:51
Speaker 1: Jack was born. So his workplace were really.
27:53
Speaker 2: Great about it.
27:55
Speaker 1: But originally we had planned for him to take more
27:57
Speaker 1: time off. So I was quite nervous about it, but
27:59
Speaker 1: he has been absolutely incredible. So because I had a cesarean,
28:03
Speaker 1: I really needed to rely on him to do heaps
28:05
Speaker 1: of stuff for me because I'm really couldn't move that well.
28:09
Speaker 1: I didn't change a nappy for the first couple of days.
28:11
Speaker 2: He was doing it all. And he listened to a
28:14
Speaker 2: lot of parenting podcasts before.
28:15
Speaker 1: And Dr.
28:16
Speaker 2: Golley was on one of the podcasts he listened to.
28:18
Speaker 1: And he spoke about how the non-breastfeeding parent really should
28:23
Speaker 1: be doing everything but breastfeeding, because as a person that's breastfeeding,
28:28
Speaker 1: it takes a lot of energy to actually produce milk.
28:31
Speaker 1: And the whole process is very time consuming. So that
28:34
Speaker 1: person really needs to get a lot of sleep. So
28:35
Speaker 1: we implemented that from the get-go. And Rhys took charge
28:39
Speaker 1: of all the burping, all the nappy changes, all the settling.
28:43
Speaker 1: And obviously now that he's back at work, I'm doing
28:45
Speaker 1: a lot of that during the day. And it's really
28:47
Speaker 1: nice because Rhys will come home from work and do
28:50
Speaker 1: Jack's last bottle for the night and also put him
28:53
Speaker 1: into bed, give him his bath, and that's their little routine.
28:57
Speaker 1: And in the mornings before work, he'll also do his
28:59
Speaker 1: early morning feed. And it just makes such a difference
29:01
Speaker 1: for me. And also it means that he gets to
29:03
Speaker 1: spend time with Jack as well. The thing that I
29:06
Speaker 1: worry about when I think about having kids is feeling
29:10
Speaker 1: resentful to my partner if he is the one that
29:13
Speaker 1: goes back to work full time.
29:15
Speaker 2: Which will probably most likely be the case.
29:18
Speaker 1: Because I mean, I run two businesses, but I have
29:21
Speaker 1: a level of flexibility with my job that he does not. However,
29:25
Speaker 1: I hate that it's always the default generally, that it's
29:29
Speaker 1: the woman who has to do the bulk of the
29:32
Speaker 1: child caring and it's just assumed that the husband will
29:34
Speaker 1: go back to work. I think it's really important to
29:36
Speaker 1: have a discussion. One, what works financially best for your family?
29:40
Speaker 1: And two, who wants to be looking after the child
29:43
Speaker 1: full time? I don't like how when you discuss it,
29:46
Speaker 1: it's kind of like, oh, the negative that you have
29:49
Speaker 1: to stay home. Because I felt sorry for Reese having
29:52
Speaker 1: to go back to work and not getting to see
29:54
Speaker 1: Jack all day. Yeah, but there's a lot of women
29:55
Speaker 1: who would feel resentful because they're, you know, you're seeing
29:58
Speaker 1: your husband going back to work and he's able to
30:00
Speaker 1: stop off for lunch. He's able to speak to other humans.
30:04
Speaker 1: He's able to socialize and get dressed up every day
30:07
Speaker 1: and feel like a member of society whilst you're at
30:10
Speaker 1: home probably covered in vomit in your pajamas in most cases.
30:14
Speaker 1: So I think that that's where a level of resentment
30:16
Speaker 1: can be can be bred. Well, I understand the level
30:20
Speaker 1: of resentment, but what I'm saying is I think it's
30:22
Speaker 1: how you look at motherhood too. And it is a
30:24
Speaker 1: full-time job and it's a very rewarding job, but it's
30:27
Speaker 1: also very difficult. So I think what you're trying to
30:30
Speaker 1: say is sometimes the men and the dads get the
30:35
Speaker 1: best of both worlds because they get to enjoy parenthood
30:38
Speaker 1: and also then get to have that go to work
30:41
Speaker 1: and be an adult and talk to adults.
30:42
Speaker 2: Exactly.
30:43
Speaker 1: I have heard a lot of new parents also talk
30:45
Speaker 1: about how they miss their partner, even though they're there
30:48
Speaker 1: a lot. And I think that definitely happens because at night,
30:51
Speaker 1: you know, Rhys will take the dogs for a walk
30:53
Speaker 1: while I'm feeding Jack, and then we'll do a little
30:54
Speaker 1: bit of a tag team switch over. And then he'll
30:58
Speaker 1: give him his final bottle and put him to bed, blah, blah, blah.
31:00
Speaker 1: And then I'll be cooking dinner. And then we'll finally
31:03
Speaker 1: have like two hours together where we'll eat dinner, but
31:05
Speaker 1: then Jack will wake up. So you feel like you
31:07
Speaker 1: don't really get to spend a lot of time together either.
31:10
Speaker 1: And it's not that quality time that perhaps you used
31:13
Speaker 1: to spend together.
31:14
Speaker 2: But again, I haven't had a child, but I.
31:18
Speaker 1: Am led to believe by your situation and what I
31:20
Speaker 1: hear other parents say is that there's something so special
31:24
Speaker 1: about having a child that is both of you. Yeah,
31:26
Speaker 1: it definitely is. And it just brings you a lot
31:29
Speaker 1: closer together as well. The last question is, was the
31:33
Speaker 1: sleep training guide worth it? I have a six week
31:35
Speaker 1: old baby at the moment. Now, as I have touched on,
31:37
Speaker 1: we are following Dr. Golley's sleep guides and I would
31:41
Speaker 1: highly recommend them. So for those who don't know, Dr.
31:44
Speaker 1: Golley is a pediatrician and he calls himself a baby expert.
31:48
Speaker 1: So I came across him on a podcast and then
31:51
Speaker 1: I noticed that he also is a pediatrician to a
31:55
Speaker 1: lot of influencers, babies. So Steph Kless Smith uses him
31:59
Speaker 1: and also Chantel Stanton.
32:01
Speaker 2: He's got 150,000 followers. So I was a little bit dubious.
32:04
Speaker 1: I was like, has he just got a lot of
32:06
Speaker 1: hype around him because he's a doctor to all of
32:09
Speaker 1: these celebrity babies? And it was actually my husband who
32:13
Speaker 1: came across him on this podcast first. So Rhys really
32:16
Speaker 1: liked him and he resonated a lot with him. So
32:19
Speaker 1: I was happy. I'm like, cool, if you like this guy,
32:22
Speaker 1: let's check him out. And One of Reese's friends actually
32:25
Speaker 1: bought Dr.
32:26
Speaker 2: Golley's book.
32:27
Speaker 1: So the book is a guide to the first four
32:29
Speaker 1: weeks of parenting. It's not a sleep guide or anything
32:31
Speaker 1: like that. It's just got a lot of helpful tips.
32:34
Speaker 1: And a lot of people have been asking me, what's
32:36
Speaker 1: a good present to buy for.
32:37
Speaker 2: A baby shower?
32:38
Speaker 1: I would buy your friend this book because it was
32:40
Speaker 1: so helpful, particularly for someone.
32:42
Speaker 2: Like me who knew nothing about babies.
32:45
Speaker 1: And I have heard advice that if your baby is
32:47
Speaker 1: sleeping well, that you shouldn't talk about it because it
32:49
Speaker 1: jinxes it.
32:50
Speaker 2: And I'm very worried. doing that.
32:52
Speaker 1: But I also think it's important to talk about things
32:55
Speaker 1: when they are positive, because then you only get this
32:58
Speaker 1: one side of a story that when you have a baby,
33:00
Speaker 1: you never sleep. And things change so quickly. And as
33:03
Speaker 1: I said, we are approaching the four month sleep regression.
33:06
Speaker 1: So who knows what our sleep is going.
33:07
Speaker 2: To be like. But for the last four weeks, Jack has.
33:10
Speaker 1: Been sleeping around six or seven hours overnight. So we
33:14
Speaker 1: have managed to drop one of his night feeds and
33:16
Speaker 1: it's been absolutely life changing. You do have to wait
33:20
Speaker 1: until your baby is at least five to six kilos
33:22
Speaker 1: before you do drop that night feed. And we did
33:24
Speaker 1: talk to our doctor and our midwife about it, and
33:27
Speaker 1: they were really happy with how Jack's weight was tracking.
33:30
Speaker 2: So it's been really good.
33:32
Speaker 1: But in saying that, we are now working on his
33:34
Speaker 1: daytime naps because once they start to consolidate sleep overnight,
33:39
Speaker 1: it does sometimes affect their day naps.
33:42
Speaker 2: So at the moment, we're trying this new technique. It's
33:45
Speaker 2: called cuddle to cot.
33:46
Speaker 1: Where you get the baby to sleep in their bassinet
33:50
Speaker 1: or cot by themselves. So normally we were spending all
33:52
Speaker 1: this time rocking him and putting him to sleep and
33:55
Speaker 1: then trying to transfer him across into his cot. But
33:59
Speaker 1: now we're trying to do this thing where he falls
34:01
Speaker 1: asleep in his cot because it helps him link his
34:04
Speaker 1: sleep cycles better. So that is ongoing. That has been
34:07
Speaker 1: quite challenging the last couple of weeks. Well, that is
34:10
Speaker 1: where we are going to wrap things up. Thank you
34:12
Speaker 1: so much to all of our listeners for sending in questions. And, Kate,
34:15
Speaker 1: thank you for returning from maternity leave for this episode.
34:19
Speaker 2: Yes, I will be back, as you said, in mid-October.
34:21
Speaker 1: Raring to go, but I may be a little bit
34:24
Speaker 1: tired trying to juggle everything. Well, this episode was recorded
34:28
Speaker 1: on the traditional land of the Kaurna people of the
34:30
Speaker 1: Adelaide Plains.
34:31
Speaker 2: We pay respect to elders past and present. Thank you.