Latest / Legacy Living with Dr. Gloria Burgess / Never Give Up! | Episode #357
Transcript
- 0:00[Music]
- 0:21Hello and welcome to the day show Legacy Living Make Your Life Count.
- 0:28I'm your host, Dr. Gloria, Gloria Burgess, International Leadership Expert, and
- 0:35trusted advisor. Welcome to Legacy Living Make Your Life Count. I'm so delighted
- 0:46that you joined me today. I have a very special guest on our episode for today.
- 0:53Her name is Desi Payne. Desi is a humorous motivational speaker, trainer, and the
- 1:03Stress Less Coach. I love that. She loves to inspire leaders and their
- 1:11employees to adjust their attitudes, so they will work in a positive environment.
- 1:19As a Stress Less Coach, she helps people let go of the stress that is robbing
- 1:26them of their joy, so they can enjoy life. I just love that. I love the idea of it.
- 1:34Now, Desi instills joy and laughter into all of her programs. She is also a John
- 1:41Maxwell team member, traveling internationally to coach people to be better
- 1:46leaders. She also teaches youth max in schools helping youth become great
- 1:53leaders. Today's topic is all about letting go, a topic that is near and dear to
- 2:03my heart, and I can't think of a better person, a better leader, a better
- 2:08human being to address this topic than Desi Payne. Now, I met Desi a few years
- 2:16ago. We're both part of the John Maxwell team, and I met Desi as part of a
- 2:22mentoring series for leaders. In fact, I met her because she had been selected from
- 2:30a pool of about 20,000 or so leaders. That's a lot of folks. She had been selected
- 2:37to be interviewed for the impact that she was making on the world. And what I
- 2:44met, Desi, and heard her speak about her passion, she was just on fire about it.
- 2:51So I can't wait to host my friend and fabulous colleague, Desi Payne. Now, before I
- 3:01bring Desi in, I want to just take a moment to connect the dots between today's
- 3:07topic, letting go and legacy living. Now, there are many ways that letting go connects
- 3:16to legacy living, which you'll hear more about later in the show. For now, let me
- 3:22just say that legacy living is a way of being and a way of living in the world, so
- 3:28that we make the conscious choice to be the difference we want to see in the
- 3:33world. We make the conscious choice now, not in some distant future. We make that
- 3:41choice day in and day out 365 24/7. Okay, again, I'll tell you more about that
- 3:50later. Let me bring in my friend and colleague, Desi Payne.
- 3:58Well, Desi, I want to welcome you to this podcast. I'm so grateful to have you as my very
- 4:05special guest today. And I would love to talk with you about what's happening with you
- 4:11right now. I know that we're both dreamers and we're going to focus today. I've never
- 4:17given up on your dreams. So I just again want to welcome you. And would you just tell us
- 4:24a little bit about you, Desi and why? Never giving up on your dreams is important to you.
- 4:32Sure. Well, thank you, Gloria, for having me. And I would probably have to say I am a
- 4:38big dreamer. In fact, sometimes my husband just shakes his head when I throw out one of
- 4:44the things or two of the things or a dozen things that I'm going to be planning on doing.
- 4:49And he just, again, shakes his head thinking, I just can't believe you. And I think I've
- 4:55always been that way. It may be because, you know, on the on the discharge, I'm a high
- 5:01D. But, yeah, I am a big dreamer. I love achieving things and adventure and being creative. I think
- 5:12being creative is one of my favorite things to do. If you say, "Why don't you come up with
- 5:16something new with whatever it is?" Then, you know, I'll just run with it. So, yeah, I love
- 5:22dreaming big dreams. And the thing is, through the course of my life, I've had to learn not
- 5:28to give up on those dreams because you know what we both face and those are obstacles.
- 5:33Absolutely. Absolutely. So, Desi, what did you tell us about? I know you're a writer, you're
- 5:39a speaker, and you have a fairly recent book out called, "Do You Work with the Living Dead?"
- 5:45I love that title. So, can you tell us a little bit about the book?
- 5:50Sure. Well, I started writing that actually a couple years ago because I started teaching
- 5:58workshops on attitude in the workplace. And one night, I walked through my living room.
- 6:04And one of those zombie shows were on. And I don't get into zombies at all, but my husband
- 6:12and my daughter were watching one. I just kind of shook my head like, "Oh, I don't believe
- 6:16this." But then, the more I thought about it, every time I walked through the room, it
- 6:21just reminded me of people that dragged themselves through life and have negative bad attitudes.
- 6:28It was a springboard for even expanding on the workshop that I did. And so, I wrote the
- 6:34book, and it's pretty much how to survive among lifeless and negative people in the workplace.
- 6:39But then what's interesting is, not only do I give strategies on how to work with these,
- 6:47what I call workplace zombies, the book is also about what to do with you getting infected.
- 6:53And that's one of the things a lot of people will even approach me with after they've read
- 6:58the book. They say, "You know, I've got this book because of these people I work with."
- 7:02Then they say this. They say, "You know what? When I was reading the book, I came to the
- 7:08realization that I needed to look at myself." And I thought, "Wow, that was even, you know,
- 7:15I seen on the cake for me once it was done, but I guess when you go back to dreams, I would
- 7:22say probably, oh, 25 years ago, if I were to walk into Barnes and Noble Bookstore, I would
- 7:31say out loud to anyone that was with me. Someday, I'm going to have books in the Barnes and Noble
- 7:36Bookstore." Right. And I said that out loud to people for years and years and years and years
- 7:43and years. So it was actually, especially a thrill for me last October when it was published,
- 7:50and I was in Cincinnati, and I was at the world's largest. I mean, it's the world's largest
- 7:56Barnes and Noble book signing. I think there were like 26 authors there, and I thought it
- 8:01took part in that. Congratulations. Thank you. So that was a huge win for me to, you know,
- 8:09to plug the book, publish and go through that process. And once you publish one book, you
- 8:14get the bugs to write another. And so, yes, I so I ended up writing book two.
- 8:20Well, good for you. And I know that in your notes, you talked about this book being a finalist,
- 8:27top ten-level artist. Yes, yes. So at the, probably in the spring, I found out that my book was in a
- 8:35category, a business category, to win an award. So it's in like the top ten finalists to win
- 8:42an award with a publisher, which is huge if your book wins an award. So Thomas, Thomas,
- 8:49more about this because you know, we all ready to people who have negative attitudes, sometimes
- 8:55like you said, give events to us. So why did you write this particular book? You know, I am from a family
- 9:04of very negative people. And holidays, winning, you know, everybody's going to be coming over. It's
- 9:14almost like you put your guard up because you know, you know, conversations are going to turn maybe
- 9:20negative or critical. And so, so that was probably the main reason, you know, secretly writing this book to
- 9:28give tall my different family members. But, but, but you know, it expanded so that, you know, it would be
- 9:37able to help people in the workplace. And, and, and been awesome because after I've even taught the
- 9:45workshop where people have read the book, it's been so nice for people again to say, you know, when I was
- 9:50reading this book, I saw this person and this person and this person. And so people were really able
- 9:57to relate with it. And, and, you know, the strategies I give, you know, a lot of them are pretty
- 10:01practical. For example, a couple of them are, don't descend to another person's level or go to their
- 10:09grave is what I call it is because a negative person doesn't want to be the only one negative or gripe
- 10:16or complaining. You know, they want to drag other people into it. And just like their second hand
- 10:22smoke, I believe their second hand negativity. And if you're around it, you can be sucked into that. And
- 10:29so it's really important to do different things. If you work those times of people or if you see those
- 10:36people in the grocery store, to distance yourself, but then if you can't distance yourself from those
- 10:42people, especially if you work with them, you know, I give some different strategies, but the one I'd
- 10:47say is probably the most important is to infect them with your own positive attitude. Let you be the
- 10:55one that infects them versus them infecting you. Oh, I love that. I love that. And you talk about getting
- 11:03CPR. So what do you mean by that? Yes. You know, if you were to take your pulse right now, you know,
- 11:11I would hope you'd have your pulse, but you know what? I think it's important that we take our
- 11:16attitude pulse. And if we find that we're we're among the ungrateful dead or we're acting like
- 11:25any of these negative people, then we need CPR. And that CPR is number one, C stands for choice.
- 11:32It's always your choice on how you're going to act. And it's interesting, you know, when I wrote this book,
- 11:38I got this nickname, the attitude of just her. I was in the grocery store one time and it was one of those
- 11:44days when the line for one only one aisle one check out was open. When I was in a hurry and the line was
- 11:54so long and there was a part of me that just wanted to glare or, you know, act like, you know, what is the
- 12:00problem here? And because I knew I had this nickname, the attitude of just her, I thought, you know,
- 12:07you never know who's watching you. And so I thought, you know what? I am going to be cool,
- 12:13calm and collected. In fact, when I get up to the checkout gal, I'm just going to talk to her and ask
- 12:18her how her day's going. And you know, she went on to tell me that they had several people that
- 12:23called us sick. You know, she had no control over that. And so it taught me a lesson that day that you
- 12:29really do have the ability to take control in a situation where your attitude is. So ceased in CPR,
- 12:38ceased answer choice and peace stands for perspective. It's so important to always have the right
- 12:46perspective. And you know, I've had the wonderful privilege about a year ago to speak with Nick Wichich
- 12:53at an event in Texas, you know, to 15,000 youth. And every time I see Nick, I always think, I have so
- 13:03much to be grateful for. I mean, here's Nick Wichich, a man without arms and legs. Yes. And
- 13:08and we lose perspective very easily when we get up in the morning, not thinking how grateful we
- 13:15should be for every single thing that we have. And if you are grateful, if you have the right perspective,
- 13:20it's going to affect your attitude. And then our and CPR stands for reboot your brain.
- 13:27And so if, for example, you, if your computer is not acting right or it stuck, you get aggravated
- 13:36with it. And so you have to reboot it. So you have to hit control all to delete. Well, that's what you
- 13:42have to do with your, your attitude. You have to reboot your brain. You have to control what you're
- 13:47thinking about, alternate those thoughts with good thoughts. And you have, and then that, that will
- 13:52delete those negative thoughts. So that's a part of rebooting your brain. And then another part of
- 13:58rebooting your brain is humor and laughter, you know, incorporating more humor and laughter into
- 14:04your life because any time you laugh, it really does reboot your brain because your brain chemistry
- 14:09changes. So, so that's essentially CPR for your attitude. Uh-huh. Well, I love that. And so someone gave you
- 14:18the name of the attitude of the doctor? Yeah, I was, was called the attitude of just, or so I kind
- 14:26of just stand with that for a while. And so, so it's on my website, you know, and the attitude of just,
- 14:32that's, oh yeah. And it keeps me in line. That's so important, Desi. And I love the CPR approach.
- 14:42Could you go through the C and the P and the R again? Because I know that there are people out there
- 14:46taking, taking notes. Okay. Sure. Okay. Sure. That again, please. Mm-hmm. C stands for choice.
- 14:53It's always your choice on what kind of attitude you're going to have. I mean, you choose that
- 14:59attitude, no matter what is happening around you. P stands for perspective. And a lot of that
- 15:07has to do with gratitude. Is that? And then R stands for reboot your brain. And I think there's
- 15:15two ways to reboot your brain. One is to control what you're thinking about. Mm-hmm. In your thoughts.
- 15:23And the other way to reboot your brain is with laughter because when you do laugh, it does change
- 15:28your attitude. Let alone change the chemistry of your brain to make you feel better.
- 15:33Yeah. So thank you. And I know, you know, when I think about perspective, this little thought runs
- 15:40through my mind, you know, when we change our perspective or how we look at things, then the things
- 15:45around us actually begin to change. That's so true. That is right. Yeah. So I didn't plan on asking
- 15:52you this question. So if you don't want to answer it, I'm just telling you, but I love how you talk
- 15:56about, you know, we booting your brain and using humor. Right. And you and I, you know, we talked
- 16:03about a while ago in another interview. And you talked about your background and seeing a cloud.
- 16:10Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. So actually, you know, that has a lot to do with the dreams in my life.
- 16:21You know, after I graduated from college, I got a job at a hospital and I did not like it at all.
- 16:28At least it was very stressful. But I ended up staying in that job for a very long time. And then
- 16:36after that job, the door opened to another job, which is, which is funny. I was the complaint department.
- 16:42But I actually love that job. And it was always challenging. But had I left, had I left that job,
- 16:51I would not have had the opportunity for my life to change because that door opened up to a whole new
- 16:58life for me because while I was working at the hospital, there was a professional clown. And
- 17:04when I would get complaints from patients, I would, you know, call them out and say, I mean, he was on
- 17:08staff. I'd say, Hey, I need you to go see this, this patient because they're really grumpy. And he
- 17:13would go in, do his magic and it was amazing. Well, one night he was at a banquet where I was actually
- 17:23performing the, the entertainer and I was a mind. And I did my mind skid and he came up to me. I mean,
- 17:30he made a feline right up to me afterwards and he asked me, who thought you had to do that? And I said,
- 17:36to do what? He said, well, what you did on the stage and I said, I don't know, I just, I don't know,
- 17:41taught myself. I did it. And he said, have you ever thought about going to clown college? And I
- 17:46thought, Oh, my goodness, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard and my husband, my husband hates
- 17:52clowns. That is crazy. Oh, he kind of kept at me. And finally one day he throws a brochure on my desk
- 18:00and he says, the university of Wisconsin is going to have a clown college experience up in Des Moines,
- 18:07Iowa. I'm about an hour and a half from there and he said, why didn't you go and I thought, Oh,
- 18:12now I'll just go. I'm sure I can learn how to feel blue and animal for my Sunday school class.
- 18:16Well, little did I know going to that clown college experience, which was for a clown college,
- 18:25it changed my life. And I, and to make a long story short, I went to clown school and I was able to
- 18:33be trained by professional entertainers from around the world who understood the art of clowning,
- 18:40not just throwing on makeup and going out and being goofy, but actually they art of a clown. So,
- 18:46so I became a professional clown and he actually wanted to mentor me to take his place at the hospital,
- 18:53which I ended up doing for 22 years, actually retired from the hospital,
- 18:58from a professional clown last December, but you know, I saw cancer patients kids, I've worked in the
- 19:05emergency room. I see I worked all over that hospital as a, as a professional clown and then
- 19:11little did I know doors were going to open. I ended up being a guest performer with Ringling Brothers.
- 19:17I worked on Royal Caribbean cruise lines and I was in high demand for schools to come and teach
- 19:26kids about character and thy going. And so, I mean, I worked literally a little time, a lot of times,
- 19:34five and six days a week in clown makeup. And I did that. I mean, it was a very, very rewarding,
- 19:41rewarding occupation. And with all that said, I learned the power of laughter. I learned the
- 19:49power of humor and what it does to a person when you make somebody else smile and make somebody else laugh.
- 19:55So my background has a lot to do with helping people laugh and smile. And so, thankfully, that has
- 20:02come into my speaking world and my career. And that has actually helped me in a great deal on
- 20:10being very busy with speakers. Yes. You just never know, right? You never know. And you know,
- 20:17it's interesting one morning I was watching Good Morning America and Jay Leno was on it. And it was
- 20:24one of those feel good shows where he was giving away one of his many cars to a veteran. And you know,
- 20:28you had the tears in your eyes, but he said something that caught my attention. And he said this, he
- 20:34said, if I have not gone through a day without making somebody smile or laugh, I have not done my job.
- 20:40And I thought, what a great philosophy to adapt into your own life. I mean, to be intentional
- 20:49about every day helping somebody else smile or laugh. And I tell you, if you have that
- 20:55philosophy, it will it will change your attitude about life. It will change your attitude in a day
- 21:01if that is your goal to help other people smile. Yes. Yes. I love that. Well, thank you. Thank you for
- 21:08sharing that. And you talked earlier about sharing the stage with Nick Boynchik. And if you say
- 21:14a little bit more about that, and you know, I know that your big theme again is to never dip up on your
- 21:20dream. So if you could tell us about Nick and maybe give us a few more examples of that as well.
- 21:24Sure. Well, you know, so I just told you that I told you that my husband couldn't stay in clowns
- 21:31and here I'm going to become a professional clowns. Well, he did eventually like one, and that was me.
- 21:36But you know, I'll never forget the night that I told him, you know what, I want to join the John
- 21:44Maxwell team, I'm going to become a motivational speaker and he looked at me and he said, oh my goodness,
- 21:50I can't stand motivational speakers. And I just was thrown for a loop and I thought, oh my goodness,
- 21:59but you know, in one respect, I thought, huh, you didn't like clowns, but you did end up liking me.
- 22:04I wouldn't have to prove myself to you. And and then when I started weaning out of that profession
- 22:12and in town, you know, is talking to different business people about becoming a motivational.
- 22:17It was interesting that I actually had business people that said, you will never make it in this town
- 22:24as a motivational speaker. And I was like, oh my, I mean, really was kind of heartbreaking. And
- 22:30and they said because you're known as this professional clown in town. And so that was kind of
- 22:37in the back of my head for a long time. Thankfully now I'm, I'm also well known as a speaker and
- 22:44I've been hired many, many times in the town, but it wasn't in the back of my mind. Well, when I became
- 22:49a John Maxwell team member, you know, when you go to Orlando and you go to the three day certification,
- 22:54that first day, you see like 10 different John Maxwell team members go up on the stage and they
- 23:03get to do their three minute speech. And it's like, you know, it's like pretty, it's a wow thing.
- 23:08Yeah, it's amazing. And I remember thinking, oh, well, when I come back in six months, when they do
- 23:15this again, I want to get up there, I want to get on the stage. So that was my dream. Well, I didn't
- 23:21realize that it was going to be a gluing process to go through the interview process with
- 23:29we both know Roddy Galbra and you have to submit your videos and he wants the highest quality
- 23:36in speeches. If you, I mean, if you want to share the stage of John Maxwell, it's got to be good.
- 23:42And I remember speech after speech after speech, like, he would just say, you know what, you need
- 23:48to go back and do this again. And I was like, ah, ah, but finally, I remember the day when he said,
- 23:56you know, I think this is going to be great. And so I made it through stage one of or round one
- 24:03is probably what I should say. And then so if you make it through round one, when you get to Orlando,
- 24:09you audition in front of other people. And I remember walking into that room and my plane was late.
- 24:16So I actually got in on the last 10 minutes of being able to get into that room and I rushed in the
- 24:22room and I sat down and he walked over to me. I mean, within seconds and he had me that microphone and I
- 24:29was like, oh, oh, my turn. And I went up there and I froze literally froze. And he was kind enough
- 24:42to, you know, ask me if I wanted to start over or no, I asked him if I could start over and he said yes.
- 24:48And I froze again. I mean, I just stared at everybody like a deer and headlights. And, you know,
- 24:54everybody was so gracious, hey, we love you. You can do this. And, you know, I look back and I,
- 24:59the third time round, I don't know what I said, but I remember going back to my seat wanting to hide
- 25:05underneath the table. Of course, didn't pass. Didn't make it to this big old stage time. But I thought,
- 25:11you know, six months later when I come back, I'll do it again and
- 25:16and went through the whole grueling process, it's submitting video after video after video and
- 25:21then, you know, I made it through the process. And so when I got there again, you know, I felt
- 25:29more confident. But when I get up on the stage about halfway through, I noticed that my legs were
- 25:34shaking so bad that it tripped me up. And, and I just stared out at everybody again because I totally
- 25:45couldn't remember what I had just said. I mean, it freaked me out. And, um, I remember walking out
- 25:52and thinking, this is not for me. I'll never do this again. I'll never come back again. And I,
- 25:59I mean, I went up called my family and I was just devastated. And I have, I mean, as an entertainer,
- 26:05I have been in front of thousands of people, been on stages and for me to not be able to stay a three
- 26:12minute speech was so tough. And so a couple months later, I am actually speaking out of college to
- 26:22new college students. And I'm speaking to them, ironically, about the dreams in their life and how
- 26:30they should never give up on their dreams. And literally while I am speaking to them, I'm having
- 26:35this conversation in my brain and I'm saying to myself, how can you talk to these kids about never
- 26:43giving up on a dream when you gave up on your own dream? You're a hypocrite. And I mean, I'm talking
- 26:52to these kids and thinking all these things. And while I'm talking to them, I ended up talking to
- 26:58myself and saying, you're not going to give up on your dream, you're going to, you're going to get
- 27:03back up on that stage. And I remember when I went through the process again, submitting video after
- 27:11video, video and finally, you know, one was accepted. I remember putting my head on my desk and
- 27:18literally making the decision, are you going to go for it or not? And I decided I was going to,
- 27:27I mean, I was so determined. I was like, I would like rocky. Nothing was, nothing was going to stop me.
- 27:34And when I got on the plane to fly to Orlando, it was an hour and a half flight and I shut my eyes
- 27:44and I said that three minute speech, every three minutes until I got to Orlando. And then when I got
- 27:53to the hotel and I got settled, I went into the halls of the Marriott down in the conference center
- 28:00and I looked for people and I asked them, can I do my speech for you? And you know what? I didn't want to.
- 28:06I had stayed with my sister and I did it for her and she says to me, well, you do it, you might have
- 28:15a little bit more enthusiasm. I thought this is not a good start. And so I found some people and I did it
- 28:27and I messed up just a little bit, but I thought I did it. And so I ended up probably went around about
- 28:3310 different people and I say, can I do my speech for you? I mean, I was so determined. And then on the day,
- 28:39you know what's like on that day, you don't know if your name is going to be called or not.
- 28:44They called ten people up. So I sat there and I wrote out my speech all day long and you know what,
- 28:54when Ronnie got up there and announced it's just first guess what my name was at home.
- 28:58And I was and I just, I'm my heart sunk, but you know what? A couple minutes later, he said, you know what?
- 29:08I have somebody else that I want to come up on the stage and he announced my name. And I was in the
- 29:14very back and I just was like, I mean, I just was like, wow, and all the way up to the stage, I was seeing my speech.
- 29:24So, you know, it's thank goodness it's recorded because I mean anybody can go to my YouTube channel,
- 29:33they can watch me do the speech that I did because my speech was about messing up the first two times.
- 29:40And so, you know, that was that was a huge dream for me and because I didn't give up,
- 29:50you have no idea the amount of confidence that was built on the inside of me for doing that.
- 29:57And speaking in front of 3,000 people, so yeah, it was it was it was huge to be able to do that. And so,
- 30:05it prepared me for six months later when I was going to be speaking before Nick Voychich in an arena to
- 30:1315,000 kids. And so, I truly believe what you're doing today is always preparing you for what you're
- 30:21going to do tomorrow. And super moving. Don't give up on your dreams no matter how small or how big they are.
- 30:28I love that. I was just writing as you were talking about not once, not twice, but three times,
- 30:35yeah, self talk and just getting up there and having the courage present yourself again and again and again.
- 30:44And I do know what that process is like. So, I'm really doing it with you.
- 30:49So, congratulations. I love the image of Rocky because at the end, I'm just imagining your hand just helping that, you know,
- 30:55big beam that he does, right? Well, what's funny is after the speech, I did jump up and down. So,
- 31:02and then Roddy says, finally, so yeah, you'll have to go on YouTube and watch my John Maxwell stage scene.
- 31:14Congratulations. I know that that that story is such a powerful story because so many times we have a dream and
- 31:22a lot of us don't get started, right? But those who do, it's not like an overnight instant thing. You have to
- 31:29really, really work hard and stay in there and, you know, stay committed. So, congratulations, Desi.
- 31:37Well, thank you. And you know, from the first time that I went until I finally did it, I think it was a total of four years.
- 31:45Oh, my wow. Yeah. But as you said, you know, that was equipping you. Unbeknownst to you at the time.
- 31:52But that was equipping you for an even bigger audience and bigger platform. And, you know, how cool is it to talk to 15,000 kids with Nick Boyd?
- 32:02Right. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That's, that's just astounding. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So, tell me, I know that you have done so many very cool things in your, in your careers and entertainers, a speaker, as a clown.
- 32:20And how has this pandemic shaped or influenced or impacted your career?
- 32:29Well, it's an impact actually impacted it in a huge way because my last speaking event was March 6th.
- 32:38And in March and April through the summer, I had a record number of speaking events. I mean, I was blown away by how many I was booked.
- 32:48And it was like overnight. I mean, it seemed like overnight.
- 32:54They were all canceled. And I started getting the calls, getting the emails to the point where literally everything was canceled. And until I think this week will be my first speaking event that I will be live, which I'm just so excited.
- 33:10They have no idea the amount of energy that I'm going to be bringing to them.
- 33:15But, but yeah, it, and so, you know, it gave me a huge perspective because of the way I'm paid to my corporation, I was not able to get even unemployment.
- 33:27And so it gave me a different perspective on what happens when you have no money coming in.
- 33:33And my husband and I also in a business in the, in our local mall.
- 33:39And for two months, them all was closed, but we still had to pay a huge rent, internet, insurance and all that. And, and there was a couple of times I literally got in my car to take it to the car dealership and say, I have to give my car back.
- 33:53And so it was, so I have, I have a new perspective on being on the, on the side of having really serious financial needs.
- 34:07And, and how you're going to adapt and deal with that. And so a couple of the things that I did because I, I hate to waste time. And especially since I wasn't working, I spent a lot of time.
- 34:20My YouTube channel was stress buster. So I did a lot of those. And then I wrote my, my second book, which is ironically about stress. So it's called, give me some chocolate. I'm stressed.
- 34:33I look at that. And, and, and it's a, from a faith perspective on those fatal strategies on how are we fuel, which are when we do stress. So it'll be published in January.
- 34:45But I also had an opportunity because I needed to work on my mother, lesser heart. I had the opportunity to help her fulfill one of her dreams. And that 79 years old, my mother decides to open a restaurant during COVID.
- 35:01So I just decided I was going to go all in and help her and get this going. And it's, it's opened and it's going well. And, and now with speaking of events that are going to be starting actually this week.
- 35:17You know, the winning myself on that. But I've been able to spend time with my mom be a blessing to her. So yeah, it's been, it's been a very interesting year for all of us.
- 35:28Yes, ma'am indeed. And it sounds like you are learning a lot. And I'm just praying for you that you will have those seeking gate rates that were canceled earlier. Just, you know, that your calendar just continues to fill from the rest of this year and beyond. Does he.
- 35:46Thank you.
- 35:48And so I just want to thank you again for joining us today. There's a you are positively amazing. I love just the breath of your background. Love your passion. I love that you're a woman of faith. And just thank you so much for never, never giving up on your dreams.
- 36:07Thank you so much, Gloria.
- 36:09All right. Thank you. Thank you.
- 36:13So inspiring. Clearly, Desi is an amazing leader. She makes a difference in her own life and in the lives of so many others in her family, her community, and throughout the world in her work as the stress less coach.
- 36:32To learn more about Desi's work, you can go to her website and that's www.desi pain and that's D E S I P A Y N E W W W dot Desi pain dot com.
- 36:50Okay. Again, I'm going to spell it for you because I know we have listeners all over the world and I want you to be sure to get this. It's www.desi pain D E S I P A Y N E dot com.
- 37:07You can also check out Desi's books and I love these titles. Do you work for the living dead? Right? And another title is Give Me Some Chocolate. I'm stressed.
- 37:21Now be sure to connect with Desi directly as well. You can do that by going to her YouTube channel, which is called Stress Busters. Very, very cool.
- 37:35Okay. If you're just joining us, I'm Dr. Gloria and this is Legacy Living Make Your Life Count. We just heard from my very special guest, Desi pain, motivational humor, speaker, trainer, leader, author, and fabulous John Maxwell team member.
- 37:58If you want to make your life count, if you want to be the change you seek, be sure to listen to this show again and again. And hey, be sure to tell somebody, right?
- 38:13Tell your friends, your family, your coworkers, all right? You can find me right here on iTunes, Audible, Alexa, SoundCloud, iHeart, tune in.
- 38:27Spricker.com, Talk Network Radio, and so many other places. Be sure to tune in again next time. Now before I close, I just want to give a shout out to all the women, men, and our young people all around the world. Because you know what? We are the ones. We are the ones we have been waiting for.
- 38:52What do I mean by that? Here's what I mean. Don't wait. Do not wait for somebody else to step up to make things happen in your life. Because you know what? They might not step up.
- 39:05In fact, they might not even know you're waiting for them, right? To do something. But you can be the one. Can I just tell you something? You are the one.
- 39:17You are that person in charge of you. You are the one who could make a difference in your own life so that you can model and make a difference in the lives of people in your life. Your sister, your brother, your mom, your dad, your auntie, your uncle, your teacher, your boss. You are the one.
- 39:39You know something. It is truly amazing how much impact we have as leaders in the workplace in our communities and in our own family, especially in our family.
- 39:52That's where it all begins, right?
- 39:56Leading begins exactly where you are with you, your spouse, with your own children, right in your own kitchen around the dinner table, helping out with homework, when you go to church, or when you go out shopping.
- 40:11So moms and dads, even when you think that your son or your daughter isn't paying any attention at all, let me tell you something. They are. They are listening. They're soaking it in. And more than anything else, they are watching you. Because you know what?
- 40:33More than anything else we can do. We can demonstrate our leadership, right? And leadership is caught, not taught. That's right. Leadership is caught, not taught.
- 40:47Now let me be really clear. Your children are scoping you out. They observe everything you are and everything you say and everything you do.
- 41:01Most importantly, know that they are watching you to see if what you say and what you do match up.
- 41:08Now our actions really do speak much, much louder than our words. A good friend of mine, who's a former CEO, always says, as a parent or as a leader in any context, your walk has got to talk louder than your talk talks.
- 41:29Let me repeat that. She says your walk has got to talk louder than your talk talks.
- 41:36Why is that? Because that's how we build the bridge called trust. That's how we strengthen our bond with those we love.
- 41:48That's how we deepen our relationships. One step at a time. Inch by inch, mile by mile and smile by smile.
- 41:59At home, at work, and in any area of our life, every single day, 365, 24, seven.
- 42:08So how is your walk lining up with your talk? You know what? It is never too late to get your walk and your talk synced up to get your act together, so to speak, right?
- 42:23So you can take it on the road. So don't beat yourself up if you kind of had a misstep here and there, right? With your walk and your talk.
- 42:30Okay, it's never too late to get it together and put it on the road so that you can make the difference in someone else's life that only you can make.
- 42:43Remember this. How you live is how you lead.
- 42:50Now, if you happen to miss any part of this week's episode or last week's, you can simply download the recording and listen to it at your convenience.
- 43:01You can even listen to it on the go. Again, check us out on iTunes, audible, Alexa, SoundCloud, iHeart, tune in.
- 43:12spricker.com, talk network radio and so many other places. You can also listen right here at www.talknetworkradio.com/hosts/legacyliving.
- 43:32Now you can find me and learn more about my work and legacy living make your life count by visiting the Gloria Burgess website.
- 43:49And as I've mentioned before, if you love to be inspired, you can actually subscribe to my inspirations right on my website.
- 43:58Just scroll down a little bit, look on the right sidebar until you see the place to add your email address to subscribe to my weekly inspirations.
- 44:09It's that simple. Each week you get a lovely photograph and a short quotation that inspires you.
- 44:16Or visit me on LinkedIn or on Facebook.
- 44:20At Facebook you can find me at facebook.com/dr4doctorgloria Burgessphd. That's facebook.com/drgloria Burgessphd.
- 44:37You can also find me on the TEDx site and listen to one of my TED talks. Just type in my name to find me there.
- 44:47Alright. Now once again, before I close I just want to thank each of you for tuning in for allowing me to share a bit about my journey with what legacy living is all about.
- 45:01Not just living and learning, but living and learning and serving. So that you make a difference in your own life and in the lives of people wherever you go.
- 45:15It's about being on purpose every single day, 365, 24, 7. Legacy Living is a powerful way to make your life count.
- 45:29Once again, thank you for joining me today. I'm your host, Dr. Gloria Burgess. And this is Legacy Living Make Your Life Count.
- 45:44Join me again next time right here for another episode of Legacy Living Make Your Life Count.
- 45:51Don't just count the days in your life. Make the days in your life count.
- 46:01That's what Legacy Living is all about. Have a fantastic day and remember,
- 46:10make the days in your life count. God bless you.
- 46:18That's our show today. I'm your host, Dr. Gloria Burgess. I hope you'll join me again next time.
- 46:38Until then, don't just count the days in your life. Make the days in your life count.
- 46:45That's what Legacy Living is all about. Here's to you have a fantastic day and be sure to make it a yes kind of day.
- 46:55Remember to celebrate the music of your life. Make the days in your life count.
- 47:07[Music]
- 47:17[MUSIC]