Latest / Living with Parkinson’s | Bryce Perry / Let Me Have a Bad Day

Transcript

Let Me Have a Bad Day · Living with Parkinson’s | Bryce Perry

• 0:01
  They told him he had five good years left.
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  That was 15 years ago. He's still standing, still
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  speaking, still living. This is living with Parkinson's,
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  The good, the bad, and the reality.
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  A podcast about what happens when life throws you something
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  incurable and you fight back anyway.
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  Hosted by Bryce Perry, diagnosed at 4015.
• 0:25
  Years into the battle, This is the truth behind the tremor.
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  Let's begin. Some days I'm tired of being
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  strong, I'm tired of smelling through it, and I'm tired of
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  saying I'm fine when I'm really not.
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  I don't want a pep talk, I don't want advice.
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  I just want one thing. Let me have a bad day.
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  Hey everyone, and welcome back. This is your first time here.
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  I'm Bryce, and this is the living with Parkinson's, the
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  good, the bad, and the reality. So this channel is where we talk
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  about the real stuff, the hard, the hopeful, and the honest
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  truths about life with Parkinson's.
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  And today we're going to talk about something that might make
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  a few people uncomfortable because this episode is called
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  Let Me Have a Bad Day, and we're going to get right into it.
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  So here's the thing. People love it when you're
• 1:18
  brave, right? They cheer you on when you're
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  positive. And they love the story of the
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  fighter, the warrior, the one who never gives up.
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  Don't get me wrong, I am all of those things, but I'm also
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  human. And some days I'm not OK.
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  Some days I wake up stiff, foggy, frustrated, and I'm
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  already behind. And some days I struggle to
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  move. I struggle to speak, I struggle
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  to smile, I struggle, struggle, struggle.
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  And who can relate to that? I mean, it's not every day is a
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  good day, is it? I mean, I wish it was.
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  Don't we wish it was? Some days, some days, some days,
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  some days. I feel like the version of me
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  that I used to be is falling and slipping further and further
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  away. And on those days, I don't want
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  encouragement. I don't want someone to fix it.
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  I just want to be allowed to have a bad day.
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  And you know what's hard? When someone tells you, but you
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  know it's going to be OK, right? They say, but I get it.
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  I understand, but it's going to be OK.
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  Or they say like, but you're doing great or you've got this
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  or you're such an inspiration and and maybe I have got this.
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  But in that moment, I'm just trying to get through the day
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  without like breaking, you know, and sometimes positivity, even
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  even well meaning and feel like pressure.
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  It's like saying you don't have permission to fall apart.
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  But here's the truth. Even strong people need the
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  space to unravel a little. Is that true?
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  Do you ever feel that way? Am I alone in this?
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  You know in the comments, do me a favor.
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  Do you feel that way? You know, when you having that
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  bad day and it's like, I don't want to be placated.
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  I don't want to be told everything is okay.
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  I don't really tell told it could be worse.
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  I don't want to say you're doing.
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  Do you feel that way if you let me know or what's a statement or
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  something that someone says to you when you're having one of
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  those days that just drive you nutty?
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  I don't know. So as I said, even strong
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  people, I feel like I'm really strong, right?
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  I feel like I, I'm 15 years into this journey with Parkinson's
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  now and I feel like I can handle anything, you know, But there
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  are all those days where you just wake up and there's like a
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  new symptom or something new or, or, or something you couldn't do
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  or something that I can't do, you know, that I used to be able
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  to do before. And to be honest with you, which
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  I'm always honest. But anyway, that last episode I
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  did that was really nice for music playing in the background.
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  That last episode that I did was, it was really, it was kind
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  of a hard one for me, to be honest.
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  I'll be honest and, and maybe I'm vain and maybe I'm, maybe
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  I'm not, Maybe maybe I am vain, but I, I, this whole face of
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  mine that's going kind of give me that Parkinson's face.
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  It's literally driving me a little bananas.
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  And so it's a big, it's a big deal for me.
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  And I'm, I'm processing, I'm actually processing it as in, in
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  real time. I mean, I did that video.
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  I was just looking at those old pictures and seeing that
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  Parkinson face and Oh my goodness.
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  So you know, I'm processing it. And throughout that, through
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  that, through this process, you know, there's a day or two in
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  there that, you know, I'm relatively always positive.
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  Almost always, you know, the glass is half full kind of guy.
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  And, and I live in, I live by that.
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  But even that strong people, even the ones that can do that,
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  there's some days where it's just like, Nah, I just, I don't
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  even want it. I don't want to hear it, you
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  know? Can I get a thumbs up for that?
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  Anyway, what do I actually need on a bad day?
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  Stay with us. We'll be right back.
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  So what what? So what do I really want
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  instead? Let me be real.
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  Let me say today sucks without having to clean it up
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  afterwards. And let me feel it.
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  The sadness, the fear, the anger, all of it.
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  Because it's real. Let me rest.
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  Not because I'm weak, but because I'm being carrying this
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  for so long. You know what?
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  Let me come back when I'm ready because I always do.
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  And that's the that's the key. I always come back.
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  I always do. And, and you always come back.
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  You're here today, you're watching this, you're listening
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  to this today, which means that you're pushing forward, OK,
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  you're going to be OK and I'm going to be OK.
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  We're all going to be OK. And that's what we need
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  community for to help us all with each other up when we're
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  having bad days and and what not because it's only a bad day.
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  Bad day isn't singular. A bad day is a one day.
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  A bad day is a one time thing. It's a one day, right?
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  Bad days and turn into bad weeks turn into bad months turn in
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  about years. So if you can contain it to a
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  day, then we're OK. If you can't, then let's that's
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  when you know, maybe we need some help to kind of come back a
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  bit quicker. And maybe we do need to start
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  needing some of that positive reinforcements.
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  We get some mind shift and some mind change going on.
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  But you know, I almost want to say it again, You know, I want
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  to say it again because I know you might feel this way.
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  And if you're a caregiver or somebody or someone who loves
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  somebody who has Parkinson's, this might be for you as well,
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  that you might have to allow them this for a moment.
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  OK, what do I want? Instead of you trying to be
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  positive all the time, I want you to let me be real.
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  Let me say today sucks without having to clean it up
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  afterwards. Let me feel it, the sadness, the
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  fear, the guilt, because it's real.
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  Let me rest. Not because I'm weak, but I'm
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  tired. And you know what?
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  Let me come back when I'm ready, because I always do.
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  If you love someone with Parkinson's, or any chronic
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  illness for that matter, this is one of the greatest gifts that
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  you can give them. Ready for this?
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  Let them be human. Let them be human.
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  Don't rush them to be positive. Don't hand them a silver.
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  Don't hand them a silver lining when they're drowning.
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  Just be with them. Be beside them.
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  Because sometimes the best thing that you can say is I get it,
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  I'm just here for you, and you don't have to be OK today, huh?
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  I'm saying this to myself, by the way, right?
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  Because I've spent a long time trying to be strong, trying to
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  be the guy who's doing great, and I am.
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  And while that's part of my story, it's not the whole story.
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  So Bryce, let yourself have a bad day, cry, rest, be mad, be
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  still. And then when you're ready to
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  get back up, because you always do, then you can get back up.
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  And I want you to say that to yourself today.
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  Just replace Bryce with your name, obviously.
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  So blank. Let yourself have a bad day,
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  cry, rest, be mad, be still, and then get.
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  Then when you're ready, you get back up because you always do.
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  And if you're watching this and you think you need permission to
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  do this, here it is. Take the day, take the breath.
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  You're not failing, you're feeling.
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  Say it again. You're not failing, you're
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  feeling. So don't be so hard on yourself
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  because you are you're the one that's the hardest.
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  We're the hardest on ourselves. And as I said, did I have a bad
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  day? I heard that song in my head
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  just like, did you have a bad day?
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  As soon as I said that, I wish I could sing, but but yeah, I had
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  a bad day. You know, I had a bad day and
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  that's OK. And it's going to be OK.
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  So when you got that new symptom or when you're feeling down, all
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  right, reel it in for a day that could be as on the the podcast
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  that we do on Sundays, someone had said that I think it was a
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  Sunday one. I eat a tub of ice cream and
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  someone else said they eat a tub of ice cream and someone else
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  said they, you know, binge flick a binge binge Netflix day or
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  something like that. So I said, OK, well, that'll be
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  my bad name. Big tub of ice cream and a
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  Netflix day. So whatever you need to do to to
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  get that day, I'm just going to get it over with.
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  Don't ignore it. Don't try to pretend it's not
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  there. Don't try to will it away
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  because it's sometimes if you're just it's tiring and it's
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  exhausting, you're going to be more tired.
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  You're going to be absolutely more tired.
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  OK, does that make sense? I hope it does.
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  I hope it does. And you know what, there's days
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  that as a caregiver or partner or someone you know that you're,
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  if you're, you're, you're there for someone all the time, you
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  might want to need one of those days too.
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  And it's OK. You have a hard job, right?
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  I mean, it's, there's trying days and you have to be full of
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  patience. And I respect you and I honor
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  what you do for the people that you love.
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  And it's OK for you to have a bad day.
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  It's OK for you to call one in. It's OK for you to take a day
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  off here and there. And if you need permission, here
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  it is. Take it, take the day, take the
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  breath. You're not failing, you're
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  feeling OK. All right, thanks for being here
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  with me today. Hey, if this resonated with you
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  or if you just needed space to not be OK, drop a comment below
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  and let's normalize it. Let's just make it normal
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  because that's the issue. If it's not normal, we won't do
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  it. So let's make it normal for
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  everybody and then we can all do it.
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  We'll all feel normal. And if somebody you love is
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  going through this, share it with them because maybe they
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  need this more than they're letting on.
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  Please like and subscribe and come back next week.
• 10:38
  We'll keep doing life together, the good, the bad, and the
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  reality. Don't forget I'm Bryce living
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  with Parkinson's and I'll see you soon.
• 10:47
  Parkinson's may be part of your life, but it doesn't get to
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  define it. Thanks for listening to Living
• 10:52
  with Parkinson's, the good, the bad, and the reality.
• 10:56
  If this episode moved you, helped you, or reminded you
• 11:00
  you're not alone. Share it with someone who needs
• 11:02
  to hear it. Want to go deeper?
• 11:05
  The Inner Circle is waiting. Monthly Zoom calls, 24/7
• 11:08
  community, and a Direct Line to Bryce.
• 11:11
  You'll find the link in the show notes.
• 11:13
  Until next time, keep showing up to keep doing life today.