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Bonus IMPROV - V Party · Very Fine Friends

0:00
you've inspired me to talk to old people no i'm gonna i'm cutting away their ability to do it
0:22
guess who's got the high ground now you just walk up to them hi we're not peers
0:29
How was your day?
0:29
Do you have any Werthers?
0:31
My dad had a bag of those in the car.
0:33
He's 75.
0:35
See, that's the kind of shit.
0:36
It's like, be aware.
0:37
Be self-aware.
0:38
That's an old person thing.
0:41
Yeah.
0:42
Like, I don't do anything gay in the car.
0:44
Except the one thing.
0:46
Except for the sex with men.
0:47
But other than that.
0:48
You know, I'm not walking around with bachelorette party penises.
0:53
I know.
0:54
I keep giving them to you and you keep going, no.
0:56
They're in the trunk.
0:58
when you got rear-ended and the truck pops open there's just penises fly everywhere they just
1:06
leave i can't deal with this bye well hopefully they don't leave they rear-ended you so
1:12
but that could stir up some gay panic so oh so you're okay with them leaving no i'm just i'm
1:21
saying i understand what if they didn't do any damage because the the penises took the brunt of
1:25
it they saved your car i would be like get back here and pick up every single one of those and
1:31
put it back in the trunk those are gifts for my dear friend jenna
1:34
every one of them has a shaw on it
1:42
what a penis gift you would invent like something for a penis or something penis related Either I would invent a sheath for your sword that looks like a penis
2:04
The play on the pen is mightier than the sword.
2:07
The penis.
2:08
So the pen goes into a...
2:09
A penis?
2:10
No.
2:11
The sword goes into a penis sheath.
2:13
Oh, so it's for people who have swords.
2:15
Yes.
2:16
Of course.
2:17
For people walking around with swords.
2:18
And just the sheath looks like one.
2:20
Yeah.
2:20
Yeah, so it's like hanging off your belt
2:23
so it looks like a really long penis.
2:25
Of course, yeah.
2:25
And then to prove that you're not gay,
2:26
you pull the sword out.
2:27
Yeah, no, no, no.
2:28
Oh, no, no, no.
2:29
Say that again.
2:32
Call me gay again.
2:35
Say that to my rapier.
2:36
Is that what they call this?
2:39
Say that to my rapist.
2:44
Okay.
2:45
Okay, great.
2:46
Good.
2:46
I'm glad we got that out of the way.
2:48
and now improv
2:51
Monica babe yeah I uh I don't want to cause any problems and I'm happy that you got that really
3:11
cool bachelorette party and I wasn't jealous but I'm a little uncomfortable with um some of
3:18
gifts they got you. What?
3:20
Oh. They were just
3:22
funnin'. They were having some fun.
3:25
But you've been
3:26
using them. Yeah.
3:28
Well, I mean, it would be a waste
3:30
otherwise.
3:32
But they're all
3:33
so much more impressive than me.
3:38
Look, honey.
3:41
I've...
3:42
I don't know what to tell you.
3:45
I put them
3:46
on the back of my car as a bumper guard and they been working you tried you tried to sit back there you said put me in the trunk I going to put my hands on the bumper So if somebody tries to back up and hit your car I stop it from getting damaged
4:05
And you tried that and all you ended up with was broken fingers. So yeah, I'm sorry.
4:13
The dildos are more impressive than you at stopping damage to my car.
4:19
okay well if you're so confident then i'm gonna host my own party great i would love that and i'm
4:28
gonna get many gifts good it's this saturday here's an invitation oh well you had this planned
4:36
it's a
4:38
it's a vagina party what does that even mean i don't know yet i put it out on the internet
4:46
I said bring your V's
4:50
Wait who do you think is showing up at this party?
4:54
I didn't limit it
4:55
I'm afraid it's going to be a bunch of ladies
4:58
Would that be the worst thing in the world?
5:01
You wouldn't be jealous Monica
5:03
Well how are they using their V's?
5:06
I don't know yet this is my first one
5:10
Okay remember how I said that I could do
5:14
I could clean the house so much better
5:18
because I could use
5:19
I could pick things up
5:22
with both my hands
5:25
and my V
5:26
yeah
5:28
but while I was still holding things
5:32
I could squat, pick things up
5:33
and still be holding things in both my hands
5:35
of course
5:37
so I'd be 50% more efficient
5:40
people without a feet do you remember that i guess vividly and you remember how i i couldn't
5:48
quite make it work you not inviting these people over here to clean the house are you well if you did it I tried I would have had to send these invitations out to the greater world
6:01
I knew that would come back and bite me.
6:04
Cut to the party.
6:05
Damn it, Donald.
6:08
Oh, this is a pretty great party.
6:11
Thanks.
6:12
Why are there pencils all over the ground?
6:15
Um, I don't know, but...
6:16
Could you get it?
6:18
I've got two drinks in my hand
6:21
That's cool
6:22
I bet you can think of a way
6:24
To get it
6:27
I don't know
6:28
I have
6:29
I don't know
6:30
I might not be able to
6:33
In the meantime, I've been practicing my deep squats
6:36
And I've been putting Crisco on the floor
6:39
I'm just going to show you my deep squat
6:41
Real quick
6:42
Okay
6:42
Go
6:44
Oh my god.
6:51
Okay, thanks.
6:52
You should go.
6:54
Okay.
6:55
Do you want these pencils back?
6:58
Nope.
6:59
I want them out of the house.
7:01
Okay.
7:02
Thanks for the pencils and the two drinks.
7:04
Feel free to come back later.
7:06
Cut to after the party.
7:09
Honey, we have no more pencils left.
7:12
And I'm not sorry, Monica.
7:18
Donald, this is exactly what I feared would happen.
7:22
My inadequacies are...
7:24
You're just putting them in the limelight.
7:27
Do yourself a favor and go suction up those divorce papers I had printed out.
7:37
Scene.
7:42
you