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Will a Narcissist ever FORGET you or Get Over You? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be answering the question, will a
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  narcissist ever forget you? Will they ever get over you?
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  Will it? Will you ever be out of their
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  mind? If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. Welcome back, folks.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Yes, that's the question of the day, the question of the hour
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  question. What kind of bear is best?
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  That's a ridiculous question, false black bear.
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  But that is one of the things right there though, isn't it?
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  That's the that's the question. How many like said, what will a
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  narcissist ever forget you forgot that ain't going question
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  in will a narcissist ever forget you?
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  I was just doing a live a few minutes ago and somebody asked
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  this question in the comment section.
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  Yeah, I've done a video about this before, but of course you
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  have my thoughts change. They do as we, as you change, as
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  you get older, your mind is supposed to change on certain
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  things. That's the point.
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  That's the point of growth, isn't it?
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  Your mind is supposed to be open to change and whatnot.
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  So as I've grown, as I've learned more, the question will
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  a narcissist ever forget you is not an A simple answer.
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  It could be a yes. No, some people was like, no,
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  they'll never forget you. You admit everything to them.
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  You'll never find a better supply than you.
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  You're the best is ever going to happen to this.
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  Yeah, let's be realistic. Some narcissistic people will
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  forget you. It really absolutely depends on
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  the impact that you had on their life.
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  If y'all just met in the club, y'all went home and slept
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  together, y'all had a one night stand, chances are they're going
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  to forget you in a couple weeks. You know what I'm saying?
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  They might remember the cheeks, they might Remember Remember the
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  clapping, but they're going to forget.
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  They might forget your name, where you from, like what you
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  look like, whatever it is. Sometimes they might forget you
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  and they might be have been a narcissist.
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  They might have lied to you the whole time, but if you've had
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  any type of significant impact on their life, you know they
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  won't forget you, Y'all and significant impact means y'all
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  had a a decent term relationship.
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  Y'all had an the relationship was intense.
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  The relationship had a had a level of intensity to it.
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  That can't be, you know, it can be can be recreated.
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  I'm not saying it can't be recreated because narcissists
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  have many supplies, don't they? So that it can be recreated in
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  some way, shape or form, right. But will they like, say, if you
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  have any type of significant impact on them, like, no, they
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  won't, They won't forget you. Like, they'll try to get over
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  you. And they, yeah, some of them
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  might succeed in getting over you.
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  Y'all, sometimes, sometimes they might find a new supply that
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  maybe fits them better than you do.
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  And yeah, and that's OK. And that's.
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  And that's OK Some people just like, well, Lee, I want the
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  matter forever Come. Yeah, sooner or later.
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  Do you ask yourself this question right here?
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  Do you want to forget them? Think about that right there.
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  Do you want to be married down the road, years down the road,
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  and still thinking about them, still wanting to be with them?
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  You see what I'm saying? So are you going to forget them?
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  That's a good question. Are you going to forget them?
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  It's a more powerful question. It really does, you know, it
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  really does. So are you going to forget that?
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  You want like some people beg and plead, a lot of people ask
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  this question because they want to know, they want to matter,
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  right? People want to matter at at the
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  crux of everything, people want to know that they mattered in
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  some way, shape or form, right? That's the crux of it.
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  But for a lot of people, for a lot of, for a lot of people with
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  this mentality like it, you want to know that you mattered.
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  And a lot of people ask this question because the narcissist
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  won't leave them alone. And there's some people who want
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  the people who want to know that they matter, or sometimes they
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  might, they might still be trauma bonded to them.
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  And you want that person to read you want the narcissistic ex to
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  reach out to you in some way, shape or form.
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  You want some type of you want some type of contact from them,
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  right? You want to like, well, Lee, I
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  feel bad because they will they ever forget me.
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  They haven't contacted me in forever.
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  So I'm assuming that they, I'm assuming that they will forget
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  me. They forgot me already.
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  I feel, I just feel, I feel bad that they might have forgotten
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  me already. And I tell people like some
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  people out there and some of y'all might be watching this
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  video right now, some people out there are begging and pleading
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  for that person to forget them. As I know it's easier said than
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  done to say, look, you should count your blessings because
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  they're not stalking you. But sometimes you have to
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  understand that there's people out there that are getting
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  stalked, that are getting harassed, that are begging and
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  pleading for that person to leave them alone.
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  And they've and they sometimes never, ever will.
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  Yeah, there's there's there's people out there begging right
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  now. Like, will they please leave me
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  alone? Lee, How the hell do I get them
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  to leave me alone? I don't want to.
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  I don't want to ruin their life by having to file a restraining
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  order on them. Like, sometimes, yeah, sometimes
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  you have to do that. But Lee, I don't want to ruin
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  their life. They have a government job.
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  Then tell them to stop stalking you.
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  Like you're not ruining their life.
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  Leave me the fuck alone. Stop stalking me.
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  I'm not ruining your life. You're doing it to yourself.
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  Leave me alone. You set that boundary.
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  You're not ruining their life. Forget about me.
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  We're done. You cheated.
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  You treated me horribly for so long.
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  Forget about me. You know what I mean?
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  Absolutely forget about me. But that's the space that so
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  many people fall into right there.
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  Y'all there really is like you want them to forget you over
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  time. You want you want them to you
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  want the connection that they had to you to at least go down a
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  little bit, because that's if their connection that they have
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  to you doesn't go away. If they keep if they keep their
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  connection strong, they're going to be they're going to be trying
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  to mess with your life forever. Lee, that sounds horrible.
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  I I know it does and it can't be horrible.
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  They're going to mess with you forever, especially if you have
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  kids bombed. Y'all, let's be real, if you
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  have kids bombed, it's going to be rough.
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  You might be in for a rough ride.
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  Because having kids bombed, they feel like they, they feel like
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  they're guaranteed access to you because we have kids together.
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  I should be guaranteed some type of access to you.
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  I should have access to your life as much as I want to, when
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  I want to, where I want to because of the because we have
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  children. So like, if you don't have kids
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  bombed, protect your peace, protect your seed, protect your
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  body. You know what I'm saying?
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  Protect you, guard your womb at all costs, because if you have
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  kids by them, of course they're not going to forget you because
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  y'all connected for life, you know what I mean?
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  If y'all spent any amount of decent time together, they're
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  not going to forget you, y'all. Like, I still think about my
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  exes from 1015 years ago, but I'm not out here trying to stalk
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  them. Some of them will be stalking
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  you the whole time. Some of the, some of your
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  narcissistic exes have fake profiles that they're watching
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  you from right now. You know, they might already be
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  have, might already have infiltrated your space,
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  infiltrated your page and whatnot.
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  It might already be watching you from a distance right now.
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  Some of them won't forget you and they, you pop into their
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  minds every once in a while, especially if you have a common
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  name, your name is like Ashley or Steve or something like that,
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  then that name's going to pop up.
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  They're going to think about you.
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  You know, it's just like a lot of people want narcissists to
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  forget them and some of them don't want people to forget
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  them. I understand.
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  I try to understand the mindset from both sides of it, right?
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  I try to both sides of this thing, you know, try to sane
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  wash narcissism. But that's how things go right
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  there, right? That's the mentality that so
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  many people face. It really, really does.
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  You know, it really, really is. It's like narcissistic people do
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  this stuff over and over again repeatedly and like to try to
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  remain relevant. They don't want you to forget
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  them. They want a lot of them want to
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  remain relevant in your life in some way, shape or form, and
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  they don't want you to forget them.
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  And yeah, your worth or your value is absolutely not
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  determined by whether or not a narcissist tries to Hoover you
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  or reach out to you. So many of you, this is or this,
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  this is the, this is the clinger, right?
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  The the clincher, clinger clincher, whatever it is, this
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  is it right here. Because so many people get tied
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  up in this thinking that your worth is somehow connected to
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  whether or not they reach out to you.
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  Well, Lee, they didn't reach out to me.
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  I just feel, I don't feel like I have any worth.
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  I feel like my value has been compromised because they don't
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  want me. Like, come on now, y'all?
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  It's like you have to wake up now.
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  It's like some narcissists might absolutely still want to be with
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  you, You know what I'm saying? Some narcissists might
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  absolutely still want to be with you, still want to be involved
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  with you, but their pride and their ego is too high and they
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  don't want to. They don't want to reach out.
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  They'll leave you alone. That's where the reverse Hoover
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  comes into play. The reverse Hoover happens when
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  narcissistic people, they might want you back in their life, but
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  they will absolutely leave you alone.
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  They will absolutely leave you the hell alone because they did
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  their pride and their ego is too high.
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  Like the my pride and my ego are both too high and my pride and
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  my ego are both too high. I just sent this quick e-mail.
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  Y'all people blowing me up. My pride and my ego are both too
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  high. But I want you back.
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  But I want you back on my terms. If you if I reach out to you,
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  it's going to be on your terms. It's going to be on your terms.
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  If I reach out to you, it's going to be on your terms.
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  You know, if I reach, reach out out your terms, you got to see
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  myself these ideas, y'all. If I reach out to you, then it's
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  on your terms. If you reach out to me, then
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  it's on my terms because you're pursuing me, The pursuer in
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  these relationship, in these relationship spaces, the pursuer
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  loses. The person in pursuit loses.
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  The person who's being pursued can win because I can dictate
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  the terms. If you want me, here are my
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  terms and conditions. Oh, you don't want to accept
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  them? Then I don't want to be with
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  you. My terms and conditions say
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  because you came after me, I didn't reach out to you.
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  I'm never going to therapy. I'm never going to stop
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  cheating. I'm never going to do this.
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  And if you say yes and thank you, yeah, start taking people
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  at their word. Stop trying to change their
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  mind. Like that's.
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  I feel like so many people get caught up right there where you
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  they'll tell you what they're going to do.
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  And for some reason you think you can change their mind.
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  Stop it. And when you don't change their
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  mind, you get mad at them and you sort of belittling yourself,
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  devaluing yourself. No, if they tell you straight
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  up, I'm not going to therapy, I'm not going to work on myself,
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  this is who I'm going to be. And you in your mind, just like
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  maybe I can change their mind later on and you don't change
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  their mind later on. You be angry as hell.
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  You, you, you have to shift and protect your piece in these
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  situations. And you absolutely do.
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  You have to be able to shift. You have to be able to move
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  laterally in a lot of these situations and whatnot.
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  You have to be able to do that. Narcissist.
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  Yeah, let's be real, Narcissistic people are
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  self-serving. They want to serve themselves by
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  any means necessary, by any at any cost.
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  They want to serve themselves. So like some of them, even if,
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  if, even if they cannot forget you, even if they cannot get
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  over you, they still may never reach out to you again.
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  Ego and pride run deep with narcissists, right?
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  My pride and my ego are so damn high.
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  I would, I, I might miss the hell out of you.
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  But anyway, I'm picking that phone up to call you.
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  Hell no. Why would I do that to myself?
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  Why would I embarrass myself? You know what I mean?
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  Why would I do that to myself? Why would I embarrass myself
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  about reaching out to you and trying to connect to you in any
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  way, shape or form? That's something that you have
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  to deal with. That's something you have to
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  process when you're dealing with this abusive person.
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  Understand that this is the way it's going to go.
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  Like some of them will leave you alone, some of them will forget
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  you. Y'all, I feel like that's
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  something you have to accept. Be OK with not knowing whether
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  or not they think about you. This one of the healing tenants
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  right there of dealing with a narcissist or a tight person is
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  being OK with not knowing whether or not they're going to
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  reach out to you. Being OK with not knowing that I
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  have a whole bunch of stuff. You have to be OK.
• 11:30
  But I'm working on another course, y'all.
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  It's called finding your why healing for narcissistic abuse.
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  It's going to be a beautiful course.
• 11:36
  I'm putting it together right now.
• 11:37
  It's going to be out in the next couple of weeks.
• 11:39
  It's going to be beautiful y'all.
• 11:40
  Enjoy my newsletter right now at mentalillness.net to find out
• 11:43
  more information about that because I'm it's going to be
• 11:45
  fire. It's going to be a fire
• 11:48
  workshop, but this is the space so many people fall into y'all.
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  But I got to hop off the saying, y'all, make sure to hit the
• 11:54
  subscribe button, y'all. I wanted to hit half a million
• 11:57
  for the end of the year. YouTube is YouTube is Youtubing.
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  It's not pushing me out to people.
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  Y'all not sharing it, It's your fault.
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  I'll never forgive you. I never forget you.
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  I'll never get over this y'all. Anyway y'all make sure you like
• 12:10
  and subscribe to the channel if you haven't already.
• 12:11
  I appreciate every single one of y'all.
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  Thank you for being on this journey with me.
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  I love y'all. Take care of yourselves, take
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  care of each other mental. This is out peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I'm extremely grateful for you have no idea.
• 12:23
  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 12:25
  to the channel helps reach more people and click on the screen
• 12:28
  to watch another video or to browse to another playlist.
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  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 12:33
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
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  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.