Latest / Success Story with Scott Clary / Lessons - Why Most Self-Improvement Advice Keeps You Stuck | Michael Sartain - Dating & Success Coach

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Lessons - Why Most Self-Improvement Advice Keeps You Stuck | Michael Sartain - Dating & Success Coach · Success Story with Scott Clary

• 0:00
  In this lessons episode, discover why taking bold action beats,
• 0:03
  playing it's safe online.
• 0:05
  Learn how having a strong opinion helps you stand out in a crowded market.
• 0:08
  Learn why seeking attention is not unethical,
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  if you are solving real problems,
• 0:12
  and learn how inaction is the true enemy of progress,
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  not fear or failure.
• 0:26
  Yeah, so I actually think you're not giving yourself enough credit.
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  Because what you're talking about is really just creating provocative content.
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  Oh, no, no, no.
• 0:35
  Despite the point of view, no, no, but I want to tell you,
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  you're out of my idea, and then I know you'll have an answer.
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  But my point is, what the Paul Brothers do,
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  what Grant Cardone does, they're not like evil people.
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  Some people I'm sure think they're not great,
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  but they're not evil people.
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  Being an asshole on social media is very different
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  than being like doing illegal shit and building a business that way.
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  So I think there is still a line between good and evil.
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  There's there's shades of, of course, good.
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  Of course, yes, that's what I know.
• 1:05
  Of course, what you're saying is correct.
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  I'm not telling you to be evil when I'm telling you is to give yourself permission.
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  That's all I'm saying.
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  It's like so many people don't want to take action on social media
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  because they're afraid to give themselves permission.
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  Yet we just put a man in office who fucked a porn star while his wife was pregnant
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  and we elected him twice, okay?
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  And I'm not criticizing him because I voted for him too.
• 1:29
  My point is, you're worried about a meme you were going to post
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  or an Instagram account you were going to make or a YouTube video
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  because you cared so much about what the people at work thought about you
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  and your fat aunt that you go see at Thanksgiving every year.
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  By the way, just in case you're wondering,
• 1:43
  you join my program, this is how you get spoken to every day.
• 1:45
  Okay, I'm a former US Air Force captain.
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  I worked in counterintelligence for two years
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  and I flew spec ops for five.
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  This is how you will get spoken to.
• 1:53
  This is how we talk every day.
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  But like you watch this over and over again
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  and I just hear these excuses about,
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  I just care so much about what other people think about you.
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  When I say all this stuff, of course,
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  I don't want you to do any of these things.
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  I don't want you to start a shill coin.
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  I don't want you to sit there and start a,
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  what is the other one that's just complete?
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  Forex, I mean.
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  Forex, yeah, yeah.
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  100% of retail forex is a scam.
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  There you go. I'll say it.
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  You can come after me.
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  I'd be more than willing to debate you.
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  100%, not forex.
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  Forex is not a scam because there actually are sovereign
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  for well funds that need to use it.
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  But 100% or four retail forex is a scam.
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  I say this and people get pissed at me,
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  but it's still true.
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  But now I'll tell you something to do is by the,
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  with the amount of money my friends have lost
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  in retail forex, I'm not disagreeing with you.
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  Yeah, I disagreeing with you.
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  But my point is, do you see what I've done?
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  No, like by doing no, I've taken aside
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  and now I've become a little bit scandalous in here.
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  Even though what I'm saying is objectively true,
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  you want to know another place where I get like huge hate
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  and I can get hundreds and hundreds of comments.
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  I've debated flat earthers before.
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  Want something that's objectively true?
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  I studied astronomy and college.
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  I know the earth is round and I can prove it.
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  And I sit there and I have a debate with them
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  and I just completely dunk on these guys for like three hours.
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  And I get all these views and comments and all this kind of stuff.
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  And people are like, I don't know why you do this.
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  And I'm like, well, look at the algorithm.
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  I just got 100,000 views for this video that I just made.
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  But most people don't want to take any chances like that.
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  What my point of everything that I just said
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  about good guy status and bad guy status
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  is are you giving yourself permission?
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  Or are you listening to the same platitudes over and over again?
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  It's like every time you fall down, you got to get back up.
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  Have you ever seen some of the stuff that Gary Vaynerchuk writes?
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  Some of his tweets, like I like Gary Vaynerchuk.
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  I'm sure we all do.
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  He's an inspiration to all of us.
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  But his tweets are very much.
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  If you believe in yourself and you do what you think is right
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  and you stay the course, eventually you'll be successful.
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  And I'm just thinking if I said some shit like that,
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  nobody would listen.
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  And if you said some shit like that,
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  it would get no one would care.
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  No, can you imagine being so famous that all you have to do
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  is like be Alex from Ozzy and just tweet work harder.
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  And then you just get like 5,000 retweets.
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  Can you imagine me?
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  But you know what, we're not.
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  We're not that famous, Scott.
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  We're not.
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  And so for the rest of us,
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  we are going to have to be disruptive.
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  And if we're not disruptive,
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  the world will pass us by and they will forget us.
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  And because of the way the fractal nature,
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  you know, Prado's principle,
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  because of the fractal nature of the way social media works now
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  and the way marketing works,
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  that you start to come to this realization very quickly
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  is that you have to do something to separate yourself
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  very quickly, which goes back to my original point.
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  You have to give yourself permission to try different things.
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  And when you do, then you come to you can start to figure out ways
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  to get a leg up on your competition.
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  But if you don't and it's just like,
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  I'm going to be the ethical salesperson.
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  And I'm just going to say platitudes over and over again
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  and feel good about myself and tell myself that I'm good enough.
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  Yo, here's the thing.
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  Internally, all of you are watching this.
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  You are enough internally.
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  Externally, someone will take your partner
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  and someone will take your girl.
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  Someone will take your money and someone will take your clients
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  if you don't do anything about it.
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  Sorry, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this.
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  If I'm the first entrepreneur to tell you
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  that other people are out to get you,
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  I have, especially if you're successful.
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  If you're not successful,
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  you're just starting up.
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  Forget everything I'm saying.
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  You got a while to go.
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  But for those of you who get like a couple million impressions
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  on social media every week,
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  I've got bad news for you.
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  People are going to come after every single part of your life.
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  They will.
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  They're going,
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  they're going to make reaction videos
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  about you doing normal life stuff.
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  And when they do so,
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  how are you going to deal with it?
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  Are you going to sit there and deny it?
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  Are you going to block them all?
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  Or are you going to take that new found status,
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  that new staff found in for me
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  and transmute that into a way to get more clients?
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  In a way to get more business
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  and a way to improve your business.
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  Because that's what you're going to have to do.
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  And if you just want to ignore it
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  and just say everything that I'm saying is wrong,
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  that's fine.
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  You can keep your head in the sand as long as you want.
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  But there's some of you out there.
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  I'm sure that are watching this right now
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  that deep down, you know that what I'm saying is true.
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  You know that the guys who make the,
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  we have a personal injury attorney here in Vegas
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  and the guy drives around into $4.3 million
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  of Bugatti and puts like hot girls in the passenger seat
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  and he's crushing it.
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  He's crushing.
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  But wait a second,
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  I need a personal injury attorney.
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  I don't need a guy with the Bugatti
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  who has a bunch of hot girls in his car.
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  But why does everyone call him?
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  Because he's famous.
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  And I don't know what he gets attention.
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  That's it.
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  That's that's the main thing.
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  The other part that I'm going to tell you
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  as far as entrepreneurship is concerned
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  is the biggest disease you can catch.
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  We call it procrastination,
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  but it's actually something else.
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  It's inaction.
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  It's not procrastination is giving a word,
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  another word to something else.
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  The disease is inaction.
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  My course is called men of action
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  because I watch too many people
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  take other self-improvement courses
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  and then they would they would cry.
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  Oh my god, the life changing.
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  Thank you so much.
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  The giant within like of whatever.
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  And we take Tony Roberts
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  and it's not Tony Robbins fault
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  because he teaches a really great program.
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  But a lot of people will take his program
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  and feel fucking incredible about themselves
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  and then just go right back
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  to living in their mom's basement being overweight.
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  They won't take any action
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  and not the scary part of my course
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  is I force you to take action.
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  There's a thing in science.
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  We know about in psychology
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  it's called cognitive behavioral therapy.
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  We use CBT or DBT
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  dialectical behavioral therapy
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  for people who have like
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  borderline personality disorder.
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  We see that it's being a very effective treatment.
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  I think for men the most effective treatment
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  is called behavioral activation therapy
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  which is basically when you feel depressed
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  you go to the gym.
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  When you feel depressed
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  you go take an action
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  and that action then creates dopamine release
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  and you start having rewards in your mind.
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  I think the male brain
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  and the female brain are different
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  and so the way that we treat
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  some of these symptoms for depression
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  or sadness or melancholy is different.
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  I think for men
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  the one of the main things you have to do
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  is go and take action
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  rather than read a book
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  do a breathing exercise
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  and look in the mirror
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  and tell yourself that you're enough
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  I think you need to go hit a personal record
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  on the bench press
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  and go talk to a beautiful woman
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  that you would have been afraid to talk to before.
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  I think you do that
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  you're going to feel a level of happiness
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  that you've never recognized before
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  because that's what your ancestors did
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  in order to survive
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  and when you do the same thing
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  you're also going to have that same feeling.
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  So then what is the issue
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  with all of the self-help advice
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  that's out on the internet right now
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  and I know you probably have a thousand
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  issues with most of it
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  but I just want to tie a knot
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  in the status thing
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  because I think that's important
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  so and then we'll talk about
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  sort of self-help
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  we can talk about what men should do
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  and by the way
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  in terms of
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  mental health
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  if I ever get a stressful call
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  a stressful email
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  I do go to the gym
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  and I'll go deadlift
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  I'll go bench
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  I'll go squat
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  I'll go kick my own fucking ass
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  be in there
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  oh god that sounds
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  that sounds like a very traditional masculine answer
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  you're going to get cancelled
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  if you say that too loud
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  you better be careful Scott
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  you're you think this is a thing
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  I mean this is but this has always been
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  how I how I decompress
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  because that gives me the room
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  to think through the problem
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  it removes the emotion out of the situation too
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  your response is just going to be in that positive
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  when you wait a second
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  you removes the emotion
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  you mean you come up with logical answers
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  dispassionately
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  you better be careful saying this stuff
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  on the internet Scott
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  you are going to get cancelled
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  you better be careful
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  saying stuff like this bro
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  you're the American psychological
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  they get a hold of you
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  they're going to get you cancelled
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  buddy watch out
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  I think I think we're in an era of non-cancelation
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  I think I think we've got to
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  buy dude I hope so
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  I hope so
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  I really do
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  man when he said there made those promises about
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  you will no longer have your account taken down
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  for no reason
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  and you're going to get a right to a speedy appeal
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  I was like I voted for the right person
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  as soon as I saw that
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  as soon as I saw that
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  it's like you mean I can tell the truth
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  and I'm not going to get ratioed because of it
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  that's incredible
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  no the whole point I was going to make was
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  like
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  whatever whatever you're building
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  whatever attention you're trying to find
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  you have to have spiky points of view
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  you have to have an opinion on shit
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  and listen
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  you're not going to get cancelled
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  if you're not being a complete
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  fucking asshole
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  like I know you take it to an extreme
• 9:48
  to a degree where you're saying you can
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  still build an audience that way
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  but
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  where you are right now
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  and where 99% of people are building audiences
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  it's so far
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  even like a small amount of opinion
• 10:02
  is uncomfortable for most people
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  they take a fucking baby step
• 10:06
  like put an opinion on anything
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  in your life
• 10:08
  in your world
• 10:10
  relevant to what's happening
• 10:11
  and
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  like just have a fucking opinion
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  because
• 10:15
  like if not
• 10:16
  who are you
• 10:16
  you're vanilla
• 10:17
  you're not going to attract anybody
• 10:18
  do you how hard it is to get leverage on youtube right now
• 10:21
  very to start from scratch
• 10:23
  like you have to do something
• 10:25
  with an incredible cover photo
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  and an incredible title to even get
• 10:29
  any traction whatsoever
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  and you have to post consistently
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  and I just keep reminding people
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  it's like when you use platitudes
• 10:35
  like trust yourself
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  feel better
• 10:37
  trust your intuition
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  yo I don't believe
• 10:39
  like you're
• 10:41
  ready here you can make a clip out of this
• 10:43
  95% of you watching this
• 10:44
  should stop fucking trusting your intuition
• 10:46
  it has not led you down the right path
• 10:49
  if you are a pilot
• 10:50
  and you've done
• 10:51
  2000 landings
• 10:52
  then you get to trust your intuition
• 10:54
  look up the definition of what intuition is
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  it has to do with
• 10:58
  domain expertise
• 10:59
  and lots of experience
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  if you're a cardiologist
• 11:02
  and you've cracked open
• 11:03
  100
• 11:04
  like 500 people's
• 11:05
  chest and actually looked at the heart
• 11:07
  and be like oh there's something wrong here
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  you get to trust your intuition
• 11:10
  if you're a psychologist
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  and you are a psychiatrist
• 11:13
  and you've dealt with
• 11:14
  maybe 500 people that have had schizophrenia
• 11:16
  you get to trust your intuition
• 11:18
  the rest of us
• 11:19
  who have no domain
• 11:20
  expertise are like
• 11:21
  my intuition tells me that I need to start
• 11:23
  a restaurant that makes paint tacos
• 11:25
  that are vegan and like no you're doing that for you
• 11:28
  that's not your intuition
• 11:29
  bro that's your ego
• 11:30
  that's what's going on
• 11:31
  most of you have no right
• 11:34
  you have
• 11:34
  how dare you
• 11:35
  you do not have the right
• 11:37
  to trust your intuition
• 11:38
  because you don't have the domain expertise to do so
• 11:42
  you do have the right to study
• 11:44
  you do have the right to become a subject matter expert
• 11:48
  you do have that right
• 11:49
  which then will lead you to proper intuition
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  but what happens instead is people
• 11:54
  who have no clue what they're talking about
• 11:56
  are just like follow your passion
• 11:58
  do you think that Wayne Heizingle won't
• 12:00
  woke up one day when he
• 12:01
  when he when he had
• 12:03
  a waste management open
• 12:04
  your waste management the company
• 12:05
  and he's like you know what I know he was
• 12:07
  he's from he's from here
• 12:08
  he's from Miami
• 12:09
  yeah do you think that
• 12:10
  do you think that Wayne Heizingle
• 12:12
  was like you know what my passion is Scott
• 12:14
  I just want to tell you
• 12:15
  portapoddies
• 12:16
  I've just been wanting to clean shit
• 12:18
  out of portapoddies my whole life
• 12:19
  to clean diapers and feces
• 12:21
  I've been so excited about creating dump trucks
• 12:23
  do you think that Wayne Heizingle's
• 12:25
  passion was waste management
• 12:27
  or do you think he solved someone else's
• 12:30
  problem and made billions of dollars
• 12:32
  because of it again I want you to think
• 12:34
  about the attorney Harvey Spector
• 12:36
  on the show suits I don't know if you got
• 12:37
  some of you guys watch the show suits
• 12:39
  but what made him so great
• 12:40
  is not that he's a great litigator
• 12:42
  it's that he makes problems go away
• 12:44
  if those of you are watching this
• 12:46
  if all you do is make problems go away
• 12:49
  for other people
• 12:49
  and you can't do that with platitudes
• 12:51
  you can only do that with action
• 12:53
  if you can just make problems go away
• 12:54
  from other people
• 12:55
  give away as much free stuff as you can
• 12:57
  and ask for 1% of your audience
• 13:00
  to buy your product
• 13:01
  you will become outrageously wealthy
• 13:03
  thanks for tuning in
• 13:04
  if you found this valuable
• 13:05
  don't forget to hit that subscribe button
• 13:07
  so you never miss an episode
• 13:08
  and if you want to dive deeper
• 13:09
  into this conversation
• 13:11
  check out the links in the description
• 13:12
  to watch the full episode
• 13:14
  see you in the next one