Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Senseless Survey: "Do you spend your whole life gathering guests for your funeral?"

Transcript

Senseless Survey: "Do you spend your whole life gathering guests for your funeral?" · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

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  Speaker 1: Now here we go, Here we go. Here is another
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  Speaker 1: senseless survey from Darren Wackhead Simpson on KFM Mornings, KFM Mornings. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: saving the world, one survey at a time, that's what
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  Speaker 1: the senseless survey achieves. Sure, you're not just saving South Africa,
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  Speaker 1: you are saving the entire world, gone global now gone global.
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  Speaker 1: Answering the questions, that's so that burn within us deservedly
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  Speaker 1: need an answer. Okay, So how many questions will I
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: ask this morning? Let's start with you Shilin eleven questions eleven, alright,
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  Speaker 1: Sibs ten questions ten, Producer bread seven seven and remis
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  Speaker 1: nine questions nine. Okay, all good guesses, All good guesses.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: You know, participation medal just for for for participating. Okay, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: but what but what when anyone, one person, one person
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  Speaker 1: is a winner? Okay, um, okay. So this is where
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  Speaker 1: I find up a random person. See how long they's
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  Speaker 1: down the line for I ask them a bunch of
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  Speaker 1: ridiculous questions they hear Census it's actually totally senseless. Hello,
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  Speaker 1: good morning, ma'am. I'm calling you from the Censuspureau. How
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  Speaker 1: are you good? Thank you, ma'am. I just want to
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  Speaker 1: find out If you have thirty seconds for me, please
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  Speaker 1: to answer some questions for your country? Okay, ma'am our
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Texas essentially just a yearly subscription to the country that
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: you live in, and you get an eighteen year free trial.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: That's probably right. Is it wrong to drop off drunks
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: at houses that are not theirs? Wow? No, I don't know.
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  Speaker 1: Do you still use the steering lock to protect your
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  Speaker 1: car just in case the nineties decide to break in? No?
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  Speaker 1: Have you ever thought about how creepy it would be
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  Speaker 1: if babies could cry from inside the womb? Okay? No?
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  Speaker 1: Do you know running from your problems only works if
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  Speaker 1: your problem is being unfit? That's right? Do you spend
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  Speaker 1: your whole love gathering guests for your funeral? Wow? Yes?
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  Speaker 1: How long did it take you to work out that
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  Speaker 1: I'll scratch your back if you scratch my back? Does
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  Speaker 1: not really work with dogs? Have you found the most
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: successful form of birth control is your personality? Okay? Did
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  Speaker 1: you know that the babies who are born feet first
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  Speaker 1: briefly where their mothers as hats? Put down? Madam put down? Also?
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  Speaker 1: What just think about that? For you could have been
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  Speaker 1: two hats? Birthday hats. Yeah, party hat. Those Bubba's coming
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  Speaker 1: out feet first now picturing hearing the hat. You know,
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  Speaker 1: I saw somebody in a with an old Corolla still
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  Speaker 1: rocking the gear locker. Not not the gear lock, the
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  Speaker 1: steering Yeah. Remember you'd buy them from game. You get
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  Speaker 1: a red one or a blue one. The gorilla lock
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: was all yeah, I think they were various brands. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: you ain't cap down. We called it on the steering
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  Speaker 1: wheel and into the corner of the windscreen. And you
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  Speaker 1: know that that destroyed criminals lovely. Just walk on if
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  Speaker 1: you see one of those. Yeah, not worth the effort.
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  Speaker 1: I wonder keep your test. I wonder if a car
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  Speaker 1: was ever stolen with the steering lock on, because remember
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  Speaker 1: from there we went to the gear lock, and then
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  Speaker 1: they would get under the car and put the car neutral.
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  Speaker 1: Somehow they would unhook the gears, just drive and reverse
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  Speaker 1: all the way to the chop shop. But if they
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  Speaker 1: did manage to steal the car, they actually deserved it.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: I mean, you worked for that thing, you did enjoy it.
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  Speaker 1: And why do I feel like when you bought a
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  Speaker 1: steering lock, you got a sheepskin, seep caut it with
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  Speaker 1: it free. That was the combo at a time, Hey,
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  Speaker 1: there was also a weapon doubled as a weapon.