Latest / Motivation study / HOW TO ACHIEVE SELF-DISCIPLINE - Best Motivational Speech
Transcript
- 0:02Speaker 1: And in the introduction, you say discipline gives us freedom,
- 0:04Speaker 1: which again feels like that's typically not what people think
- 0:07Speaker 1: of discipline. We think of discipline as taking our freedom
- 0:09Speaker 1: and making our lives, as you say, more rigid. Yeah.
- 0:11Speaker 1: You were saying then like more rigid and less choices,
- 0:14Speaker 1: less optionality. But in the introduction of your book, you
- 0:17Speaker 1: say discipline gives us freedom.
- 0:21Speaker 2: I think that a lot of the discussions about motivation
- 0:23Speaker 2: can cause people to believe that there's some magical state
- 0:27Speaker 2: that they need to be in before they do something.
- 0:31Speaker 3: Yeah, and as I've said since day one, it's motivation
- 0:34Speaker 3: is a feeling that comes and goes and it doesn't
- 0:36Speaker 3: matter whether it's there or not. Discipline is infinitely more important.
- 0:40Speaker 3: So no matter how you feel, get up and do
- 0:43Speaker 3: what you're supposed to do.
- 0:44Speaker 4: That's it.
- 0:45Speaker 3: And that's discipline. It's not motivation. If you only did
- 0:49Speaker 3: what you were supposed to do when you were motivated
- 0:51Speaker 3: to do it, that's leaving it to chance. But if
- 0:54Speaker 3: you're disciplined, you go do what you're supposed to do.
- 0:56Speaker 4: That's the way it works.
- 0:58Speaker 5: You know, you want to be a little bit better
- 1:00Speaker 5: in some way tomorrow than you are today. But it's
- 1:03Speaker 5: not gonna be in a linear path. You have to
- 1:05Speaker 5: really do the work. Like you have to back it
- 1:08Speaker 5: with hard work.
- 1:11Speaker 6: I don't care how you perceive David Goggins. I walk
- 1:14Speaker 6: in the room now and I know the hours and
- 1:16Speaker 6: years and decades I put into David Goggins.
- 1:20Speaker 5: It's not on the wall.
- 1:22Speaker 6: It's not a trophy on the wall. It's not a
- 1:23Speaker 6: medal on your neck.
- 1:24Speaker 3: It is actually a feeling.
- 1:26Speaker 7: In your heart.
- 1:29Speaker 6: Through my journey, I figured out.
- 1:31Speaker 1: The one piece I was missing.
- 1:33Speaker 6: The one piece I was missing was me having the
- 1:35Speaker 6: courage to face myself. Wake up every single day thinking
- 1:41Speaker 6: about how can I change my life?
- 1:46Speaker 8: Because what you want, it haunts you every single night.
- 1:52Speaker 5: See, the big dogs, they won't give you the opportunity.
- 1:56Speaker 3: You're going to have to take it.
- 1:59Speaker 8: I need you to tell yourself right now, there is
- 2:00Speaker 8: no other way.
- 2:01Speaker 5: There is no other way.
- 2:03Speaker 3: There is no other way. Future belongs to the discipline.
- 2:07Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying? And you're very undisciplined. And
- 2:09Speaker 4: you're emotionally undisciplined. And if you could develop this discipline now,
- 2:15Speaker 4: you will get much further ahead in a much faster way.
- 2:25Speaker 6: We want to talk so soft to ourselves. We're looking
- 2:28Speaker 6: for that recovery day. And that recovery day is everything
- 2:31Speaker 6: in your life. Everything in your life is a recovery day.
- 2:34Speaker 3: We're looking for it.
- 2:35Speaker 6: It's not coming.
- 2:37Speaker 3: It's not coming.
- 2:39Speaker 6: Get over that recovery day.
- 2:48Speaker 7: Well, I think it's important to note that the Stokes
- 2:51Speaker 7: are talking about self-discipline.
- 2:53Speaker 6: Right?
- 2:53Speaker 7: So discipline is not, you know, the Marine sergeant telling
- 2:57Speaker 7: everyone else what to do, how to be right. The
- 3:00Speaker 7: Stoics are talking about the virtue of self-discipline, which is
- 3:04Speaker 7: you have your standards that you selected for yourself, that
- 3:07Speaker 7: you are living up to. It's not a weapon that
- 3:10Speaker 7: you wield against other people. Right. And I think so
- 3:14Speaker 7: often when we hear discipline, we think disciplinarian, right?
- 3:17Speaker 1: Someone who's really strict.
- 3:18Speaker 7: One of the beautiful lines in meditations, Mark's really says, um, Remember,
- 3:22Speaker 7: tolerant with others, strict with yourself. And actually that itself
- 3:28Speaker 7: demands so much more discipline, right? To be like, I
- 3:32Speaker 7: never accept being late for me or for other people, right?
- 3:35Speaker 4: I work hard.
- 3:36Speaker 7: I judge people that are not in shape, right? I
- 3:39Speaker 7: expect long hours from everyone that works for me. You know,
- 3:42Speaker 7: there's that sort of rigid, strict form of discipline, right?
- 3:49Speaker 7: I have found in my own journey, my own life,
- 3:50Speaker 7: that it actually requires more discipline to go, this is
- 3:54Speaker 7: what I expect of myself. And this is how I'm wired.
- 3:59Speaker 7: This is how I operate best. And then I understand
- 4:02Speaker 7: that other people, not only do I not control them,
- 4:06Speaker 7: but they have different proclivities, different ways of living, different
- 4:09Speaker 7: ways of being. And that my job is to figure
- 4:13Speaker 7: out how to adapt myself to them instead of forcing
- 4:16Speaker 7: them to be like me.
- 4:19Speaker 2: Exactly.
- 4:19Speaker 4: You know, I mean, that's kind of how I look
- 4:21Speaker 4: at it. It's just the numbers. Like nobody's perfect all
- 4:23Speaker 4: the time. Nobody's great all the time. But people will
- 4:26Speaker 4: remember you for your greatness when they get to witness it.
- 4:30Speaker 1: Absolutely.
- 4:30Speaker 4: And I think that's something that, you know, people have
- 4:32Speaker 4: to understand. Like no matter how good you get, you're
- 4:35Speaker 4: still going to have days that are bad. And I
- 4:38Speaker 4: think that's the advice that I would have focused on
- 4:41Speaker 4: there because I didn't really figure that out until I
- 4:44Speaker 4: was about 36 years old. I would have sat myself
- 4:48Speaker 4: down and had to talk about my own discipline and
- 4:51Speaker 4: what it meant to be disciplined in all areas. Because
- 4:54Speaker 4: you weren't as disciplined. No, I was at that time
- 4:56Speaker 4: at 33, I was 330 pounds. You know, I, I,
- 5:01Speaker 4: a lot of, I was drinking all the time, partying
- 5:03Speaker 4: all the time. I thought it was cool to be
- 5:04Speaker 4: the wild guy, you know, and you know what I'm saying?
- 5:06Speaker 3: Wild man.
- 5:07Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 5:07Speaker 4: And that's how I was always that way growing up. And, um,
- 5:12Speaker 4: you know, I wish I would have had someone that
- 5:14Speaker 4: sat me down and said, Hey bro, you know, that's
- 5:16Speaker 4: not as cool as you've thinking is. You know what
- 5:18Speaker 4: I'm saying? And you're very undisciplined and you're emotionally undisciplined.
- 5:22Speaker 4: And if you could develop this discipline now, you will
- 5:26Speaker 4: get much further ahead at a much faster rate. Discipline,
- 5:30Speaker 4: once you learn it, can be applied to all areas.
- 5:33Speaker 4: And so that's the thing that I wish I would
- 5:35Speaker 4: have understood at a younger age, that had I had
- 5:39Speaker 4: the skills to not only be disciplined in the physical, now,
- 5:42Speaker 4: you know, I struggle with my physique. Like it wasn't
- 5:44Speaker 4: like I had never been in shape before. I had
- 5:46Speaker 4: just become on this one. Right. And, you know, I
- 5:50Speaker 4: think if I had understood at 33, what that could
- 5:54Speaker 4: actually do for me, I would have bought it hook, line,
- 5:57Speaker 4: and sinker and dedicated my entire life to it.
- 5:59Speaker 1: And gone all in on it.
- 5:59Speaker 4: Yeah, for sure. The amount of progress that has happened
- 6:05Speaker 4: in my life in all areas from the time I
- 6:09Speaker 4: started figuring that out to now, I got 20 years
- 6:12Speaker 4: worth of results in like four and a half years.
- 6:14Speaker 2: Amazing.
- 6:14Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying? And so that's the impact
- 6:18Speaker 4: of taking true control over your existence is that it
- 6:22Speaker 4: greatly accelerates everything else. I could have saved myself probably
- 6:28Speaker 4: two thirds of the success journey that I was on
- 6:31Speaker 4: just from the shit that I know now that I
- 6:32Speaker 4: didn't know then. But more importantly, I could have saved
- 6:36Speaker 4: myself tons of mental agony because I could have reassured that, hey, look,
- 6:41Speaker 4: this is just the way it goes. And this is
- 6:43Speaker 4: just part of the deal. And you signed up for this.
- 6:45Speaker 4: And nobody ever tells you those things. You know what
- 6:47Speaker 4: I'm saying?
- 6:48Speaker 3: Like.
- 6:52Speaker 8: Okay. So how, how does my day look like? So
- 6:54Speaker 8: I wake up early in the morning. I wake up
- 6:56Speaker 8: four o'clock in the morning. The reason why four o'clock
- 6:58Speaker 8: in the morning, man, it's a struggle waking up at
- 7:02Speaker 8: four o'clock in the morning. It's not, you know, it's
- 7:03Speaker 8: not easy and I still want to be challenged. So, uh,
- 7:07Speaker 8: you know, now it's just, it's going to happen. So
- 7:11Speaker 8: the monster, the laziness in me, it's not there anymore.
- 7:16Speaker 8: You know, when I say that, the laziness, we all
- 7:19Speaker 8: have it. The procrastinator, right? The guy who doesn't want
- 7:23Speaker 8: to do shit. The alarm goes off at four o'clock
- 7:27Speaker 8: in the morning. You're like, oh, my leg's kind of
- 7:30Speaker 8: hurting this morning. Maybe I shouldn't run. That guy. See,
- 7:35Speaker 8: that guy in me, he's gone because he knows that
- 7:39Speaker 8: it doesn't work. The thing is, it's going to happen.
- 7:43Speaker 8: So when you say, what is my discipline? I've done
- 7:47Speaker 8: it for so long. I've been doing it since I
- 7:50Speaker 8: was nine. Discipline is your lifestyle. What is your lifestyle, man? Like, okay,
- 7:58Speaker 8: so I could teach you to go to the gym
- 8:01Speaker 8: and you and I, we could get totally jacked in
- 8:03Speaker 8: the gym, right? And then, and you and I, we
- 8:05Speaker 8: have a good two-hour sessions in the gym. We burned
- 8:08Speaker 8: it down. And you go home and you drink a
- 8:10Speaker 8: milkshake and eat like crap.
- 8:13Speaker 2: Well, that is the thing that separates the achievements on
- 8:18Speaker 2: the other side of it, right? If it was easy,
- 8:20Speaker 2: everyone would do it. If it was easy, everyone would
- 8:22Speaker 2: achieve it. So this is one of the things that
- 8:25Speaker 2: I try and rely on. I ruptured my Achilles a couple.
- 8:28Speaker 6: Of years ago.
- 8:29Speaker 2: That sucked. I wouldn't advise it as an injury. The
- 8:34Speaker 2: discomfort that you feel and the fear of it re-rupturing,
- 8:38Speaker 2: which is the number one thing you don't want to
- 8:39Speaker 2: have happen, the thing that I went back to in
- 8:42Speaker 2: my mind was, this is why I'm here. The discomfort
- 8:45Speaker 2: that I was feeling, the effort, the pain, the sweat,
- 8:50Speaker 2: this is why you're here, was the reminder. It's like, look,
- 8:53Speaker 2: this is the reason why the re-rupture rate is 5%
- 8:56Speaker 2: to 10% because people don't want to do this thing.
- 9:00Speaker 2: People don't want to do the thing because it hurts,
- 9:02Speaker 2: because it takes half an hour every single day for
- 9:05Speaker 2: nearly 12 months. It's a full 12-month recovery.
- 9:09Speaker 6: That's why.
- 9:10Speaker 2: This is why you're here. And I think that you're right.
- 9:12Speaker 2: I think that the selection is important. People deep down
- 9:16Speaker 2: know that picking up heavy things physically, psychologically, existentially, culturally
- 9:22Speaker 2: is good for us. And I think that that's why
- 9:24Speaker 2: it's attractive.
- 9:27Speaker 3: Life is one big mind game. And you're playing it
- 9:30Speaker 3: with yourself.
- 9:32Speaker 1: Is it true?
- 9:33Speaker 6: I don't care. It got me through the hardest training,
- 9:37Speaker 6: starting out broken. Where most people.
- 9:40Speaker 8: Quit, I had just started.
- 9:43Speaker 1: Wow.
- 9:44Speaker 6: And when you take that mindset and you learn to
- 9:46Speaker 6: flip that around, that's what made me powerful. God put
- 9:53Speaker 6: me in a very interesting spot of life where he
- 9:57Speaker 6: made hell my teacher. He made hell my teacher. And
- 10:02Speaker 6: a lot of people don't understand that. So I'm trying
- 10:07Speaker 6: to give people a different thought process of life where failure, hell, disappointment,
- 10:13Speaker 6: discomfort is a great learning tool. And many people don't
- 10:18Speaker 6: understand that. And a lot of people won't even understand
- 10:21Speaker 6: this interview when we get done with it. But it's
- 10:24Speaker 6: these few moments in life that you have. Like for me,
- 10:27Speaker 6: I always talk about it. Rocky won round 14. That
- 10:32Speaker 6: one two minute and 13 second clip of Rocky getting
- 10:39Speaker 6: up when Apollo knocked him down. That one clip when
- 10:44Speaker 6: I was going through a very bad time in my life.
- 10:47Speaker 6: I saw what I wanted to be. And it wasn't
- 10:51Speaker 6: a guy that won. It wasn't a guy that won
- 10:54Speaker 6: everything he did. It was a guy that kept getting
- 10:57Speaker 6: up after being knocked down. So I realized if that
- 11:04Speaker 6: two minutes and 13 seconds changed my life, so I was.
- 11:09Speaker 6: I saw something that I needed to be in the
- 11:11Speaker 6: world I was living in. Means that people live in
- 11:16Speaker 6: a very comfortable place.
- 11:17Speaker 1: That's fine.
- 11:18Speaker 3: Don't listen to me.
- 11:20Speaker 6: A lot of people are looking for that two minutes
- 11:22Speaker 6: and 13 seconds.
- 11:26Speaker 3: So again, I would love to be able to, you know,
- 11:31Speaker 3: give you this profound anchor that people need to have.
- 11:36Speaker 3: But it's like, oh, do you want to do this
- 11:37Speaker 3: or not? Do you actually want to do this or not?
- 11:41Speaker 3: Because if you actually want to do it, what's going
- 11:43Speaker 3: to stop you? Nothing. And if you don't really want
- 11:46Speaker 3: to do it, what's going to stop you? Just about
- 11:49Speaker 3: anything that comes up. Just about any obstacle that gets
- 11:52Speaker 3: in your way becomes an excuse. It becomes a reason.
- 11:56Speaker 3: It becomes a rationale for not proceeding down that path.
- 12:00Speaker 3: And this is interesting too. When you talk to people
- 12:03Speaker 3: that went to SEAL training that didn't make it, most
- 12:06Speaker 3: of the time it's, Some reason. There's a medical reason.
- 12:11Speaker 3: There's a family problem. There's very few people that look
- 12:15Speaker 3: at you and say, oh, I quit because it sucked.
- 12:18Speaker 3: Which is what, by the way, which is what happens
- 12:20Speaker 3: to the vast majority of people. They don't usually say that.
- 12:24Speaker 3: And even in their mind, they probably don't believe it.
- 12:26Speaker 3: They probably believe, well, you know, it was my leg.
- 12:29Speaker 3: And once my leg was hurting, I knew I was
- 12:30Speaker 3: going to have a hard time on the runs. I
- 12:32Speaker 3: wasn't going to be able to make the runs. That's
- 12:34Speaker 3: why I quit. But it wasn't really quitting. It was
- 12:36Speaker 3: because of my leg.
- 12:38Speaker 6: So.
- 12:39Speaker 3: Like I said, it's a very strange and really kind
- 12:43Speaker 3: of a mystical thing.
- 12:45Speaker 1: Excuses. You're talking there about people making excuses. What have
- 12:49Speaker 1: you come to learn about the nature of excuses and
- 12:52Speaker 1: if they are our friends, our enemies, if they're ever useful?
- 12:56Speaker 3: Your excuses will destroy you and take everything that you
- 12:59Speaker 3: ever wanted from you if you let them.
- 13:03Speaker 1: Doesn't sound like a friend.
- 13:04Speaker 4: No, it's definitely not a friend.
- 13:07Speaker 3: So when your excuses make you feel a little bit
- 13:10Speaker 3: better about the fact that you didn't execute on what
- 13:14Speaker 3: you needed to execute on, then they can make you
- 13:18Speaker 3: feel better. But they're not helping you. They're not helping
- 13:21Speaker 3: you at all. Is that what you think when you
- 13:24Speaker 3: think about extreme ownership? Are excuses the opposite? Excuses and blame,
- 13:29Speaker 3: is that the opposite of extreme ownership? That is the
- 13:31Speaker 3: opposite of extreme ownership. Extreme ownership is... This went wrong.
- 13:37Speaker 3: This failed. Didn't accomplish this. And it's not the fault
- 13:42Speaker 3: of my boss. It's not the fault of my girlfriend.
- 13:44Speaker 3: It's not the fault of my parents. It's not the
- 13:46Speaker 3: fault of the weather.
- 13:47Speaker 1: It's my fault.
- 13:49Speaker 3: And I'm going to take ownership of it and I'm
- 13:50Speaker 3: going to fix it. That's what extreme ownership is. And
- 13:56Speaker 3: this is a very difficult thing to do because it hurts.
- 14:00Speaker 3: Because when you look around at your life and you
- 14:03Speaker 3: look around at your job and your financial situation and
- 14:07Speaker 3: your relationship and your physical health, and when you look
- 14:10Speaker 3: at all those things and all the problems that you
- 14:12Speaker 3: may have with those things, and you say, the reason
- 14:15Speaker 3: I have all those problems is because of me, that
- 14:20Speaker 3: can hurt. That can sting. And a lot of times
- 14:25Speaker 3: our ego rejects that and makes excuses and lies. And
- 14:30Speaker 3: then we don't have to change anything. And then nothing changes.
- 15:03Speaker 1: Thanks for watching!