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Changing Channels with Hank Norman · Authentic Living

0:31
Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a global voice Radio.
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Join Roxanne Derhodge and her thought provoking conversations, the catalyst to live your life
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to the fullest.
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Hi, everyone.
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It's, Roxanne Derhodge again.
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Nice that you're checking in with me again.
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I'm the author of authentic, therapist, it's an insider's guide on relationships healing the
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past.
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And I'm privileged today to have, with me guest that I met just in in December in, New York,
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Mr.
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Hank Norman.
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And, he's a man that within seconds can tell you okay, you're on the mark, you need to work
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on it, you need to get authentic.
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So I've got a bit of a bio on Hank and I'll do my best, but I think it's best that Hank tells
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us about, south, but he's a brand builder, media mogul.
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He's worked, with media stars for over 25 years.
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He's worked with celebrities such as Harbor Walters, Steve Harvey, Grant Cardone, and
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Jeanine Perot, and he's helped a launch networks like oxygen and the Grand Cardone
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network, which are, obviously out there and the view, which most of, the Canadians would
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obviously know that show, and he's a producer and executive by trade, who has become a brand
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builder.
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And, you've helped multiple TV personalities, and what you want to know everyone to know up
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there is that you if you need to get attention, go ahead and get it yourself, and you're gonna
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hopefully share some tips and things that we can do today, about getting connected.
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So thanks so much, Hank, and Hank, is in New York City.
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So he's, he's, a little ways away from me and Niagara Falls, but, thanks again, Hank, for
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being here.
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Thanks, Roxanne.
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I appreciate it.
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It was nice to meet you at the Les Brown event.
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Yes.
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And you just, you know, within second could peg.
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I know you had seen a bit of me on stage, and, you gave me some pretty insightful, bits at
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which I took, quite seriously, in working with my speaking coach to go back and really What
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did I what did I tell you?
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Dropped the psyche things, you said.
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The psych the psychological stuff.
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You said, do you you know, my speaking, was pretty good, but that I needed to move it down
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a notch or make it more practical to the average person to be able to relay to what I
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was saying.
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And I think, unless you can remember differently, I think that's what
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you Yeah.
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I mean, and I work with a lot of doctors.
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I work with a lot.
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I mean, I work with so I have worked with tons of celebrities, but I've also worked so how I
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kinda got in this business and how I'm now helping everybody from entrepreneurs to anybody
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really blow up their social media and, you know, no matter what business you're in, you've
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gotta be concerned about where the next customer is coming from.
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And and even if you work for a company, you've gotta be concerned about where the income is
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coming from.
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Like, I work inside of, huge, dealerships now because a grant has such a reach into
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dealerships I'm working with full dealerships to get everybody to raise their online
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profiles, and it just magnifies the entire company.
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And how I got into this is I'm a a TV producer who became a development executive that worked
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with people exactly like you, getting experts on air, taking people who were you know,
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category experts that we call in TV, and it really was, how do you make somebody who's a
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doctor?
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How do you even take someone who's a yoga instructor?
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Do you take someone who's a cook?
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How do you take someone who does any one thing that they know really well and has all that
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insider jargon?
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And how do you help them make that relatable to a mass audience?
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So beginning with working with exactly people just like you, I've expanded that to.
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I now just do that for everybody.
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So good example.
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Right?
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I've been in in the field of psychotherapy for a long time.
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But I've done consulting, so I've worked a lot with executives.
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But when I'm speaking to the end user, there's like a lot of coaches or business people
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online, whoever's in front of them and or reaching out to them in social media means
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touch points, I would assume, so that people can relate.
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Is that am I getting that right, or what what kind of things do people need to keep in mind
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when they're getting out there, whether they're, doctor, whether they're a coach, you
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know, like you said, dealerships, I'm gonna assume that you meant car dealerships.
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Is that what
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you're talking about?
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Okay.
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Here's the thing.
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As you probably know, I'm I have a seven year old.
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I have been coaching people for decades And when my daughter was even a toddler before she
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could speak, it was so obvious to see that when me or my wife would turn the phone sideways and
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she would know she was on air on camera that she was being recorded.
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She would immediately not perform, but make herself the best version of herself that she
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could be without without language, without she just knew the repercussions of being recorded.
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What that taught me in that moment, even though I'd coached 100, if not thousands of people, is
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we all have this propensity to when we get on camera to put on this performance face, to put
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on this side of us that's to impress people, to make people think better of us.
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And what people are really looking for on camera is authenticity.
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What people really want now because of the the the the the just the abundance of content and
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reality shows YouTube.
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We we know what it's to hear somebody talk for real and be themselves and say something that's
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real.
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This idea of and doctors are the worst by the way, because they have this bedside matter
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that's just ingrained way of making the patient feel better.
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That's awesome, except that doesn't work here.
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I now need you to actually be a person, not a doctor.
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That whole that's a show.
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That performance of making that one person feel good is phony.
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That's not real.
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People want a real interaction with people.
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So I spend a lot of time having people why don't believe in unlearning because they can't
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unlearn what you know.
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So but they have to move past that.
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You have to adopt this brand new personality, which is getting comfortable being yourself in
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a public setting as odd as it sounds.
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It's a little
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almost having the touch points of vulnerability that maybe you would share with people closer
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to you.
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So you're you're in front of a we're in front of a camera right now.
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We're basically talking to each other.
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If I have to be able to relate to you or anyone else like I would be someone that I'm very
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comfortable with.
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Is is that what what you want from people that are getting in front of
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you have to learn to do it, and you have to learn to perform.
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You have to put enough hours in on camera, and you can get them now because we have cameras in
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our this is a camera.
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My phone is a camera.
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You practice enough.
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You can get comfortable to be who you really are on stage, meaning in front of people,
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walking down the street, making a an Instagram story is you on stage, is a performance.
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I mean, we we require that from human beings.
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And so we don't accept it from our leaders, our experts, from anybody.
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Like, I'm not gonna do business with somebody that I think is being phony.
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And what I help people do is learn to actually grow their online presence by actually being
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themselves.
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In a strange way, it really isn't getting back to who you are and being comfortable with
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yourself.
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I mean, in a I only know TV producers, but if I if I'm in a mixed crowd at a cocktail party and
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someone asks me what I do, I say I teach self confidence.
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I teach people to be themselves in public.
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It's not easy to do.
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I mean, when I saw my daughter doing it, unfortunately, you can even speak English.
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I knew that it's something innately we have as human beings to, like, want to impress people.
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So everybody, when that red light goes on, not that there's no red lights anymore, but back in
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the day in TV and on the recorders, The red light used to go on.
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People immediately freeze, and it's learning to not freeze.
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It's learning to relax under pressure.
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It's confidence building.
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So how do you okay.
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Tell me what you do.
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Like, I mean, I've I've seen you, I often see you walking around New York City and it's your
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hair's blowing with that hairstyle, and I'm like, there he goes again.
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Right?
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And you're in the subway or you're on the street.
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And I'm like, How do you you know, and people walking past you and stuff like that, what are
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some of the things that you kind of, teach in some of your coaching or courses that allows
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people to not freeze when they see that cameras, you know, kind of projected out of.
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Like you might imagine, Roxanne, and I'm sure you know, and I'm sure you give your clients
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exercises to do as well.
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It literally is a muscle.
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You have to get You you learned it.
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You do it.
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The only way to get better at running is to run.
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The only way to get stronger is to go to the gym and lift weights.
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The only way to get better on camera is get on camera.
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And we have it.
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The the beauty is the world has so radically changed.
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This is the piece that is so fascinating and so interesting.
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Nobody actually is understanding, and I think we're all just starting to but you and I are
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talking face to face right now.
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This is like Star Trek stuff that we only fan.
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And even Captain Kirk only had a communicator.
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They weren't face to face.
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Like, that idea but everyone forgets.
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That was fantasy when we were growing up.
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Having a communicator like Captain Kirk was an impossibility.
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And this idea that we're all connected and we're we're we're able to talk and we're able
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to express ourselves.
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We're able to connect to other people.
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I mean, it's changing everything.
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It changes it's changed the face of your business.
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It's changed the face of how people do business.
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And if you're not doing this, if you're not getting comfortable, connecting with whether
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and you're I mean, you're not I'm in my house by myself.
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You're not physically here.
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There is a level of performance here.
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Like, I'm I have to look here and not here.
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Like, if I was being normal, I would look you in the eye, but that doesn't make sense.
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So I have to train myself to look into this thing.
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It there's this level of a per there is a performance.
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And you can here's the thing that nobody knows that we're just coming into as a as people and
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an understanding.
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You can perform and be your true self.
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Those are not counter the those are not forces pulling it away at one another.
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They don't cross each other out.
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People think a performance means fake.
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That's not real.
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That's not true.
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A true performance, the best actor, acting isn't an act.
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When Tom Cruise is crying in a movie, and he's acting like his dad died, the reason he gets
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paid so much money in Merrill Street gets paid so much money to do those things, they're
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really in that emotional space.
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They're going there.
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That's hard to do.
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That's a learned thing to actually go emotionally to a space that you have to create
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yourself I know you're it hurt Merrill Streets and Tom Cruise.
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Their dads didn't die in that scene, but they are recreating that exact emotion for
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themselves.
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They're not acting like it.
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They're not pretending.
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They're doing it.
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That's your job on camera.
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Be yourself.
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Just like you would relate to somebody else, you have to be that at a performance level.
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You have to be that walking down the street.
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You have to be that when you're talking when you're making a video by yourself.
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In your house and you're looking at that lens and there's no one there.
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You have to take the time to say, I'm gonna connect one on one with the one person watching
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this.
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It's not, hey, everybody, or how's everybody doing?
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There's no mass of people watching you.
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It's just me talking to you and you talking to me.
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So stop using this language, which is so egocentric.
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And so, hey, everybody.
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There's no group of people watching you.
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There's only one person watching you at a time, and it's your job to act like you know that
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you're making that one on one connection with somebody.
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That is a performance.
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And it has to be learned.
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You have to learn it.
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So what I know a lot of times when I see, coaching clients, or just clients in my
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practice is that a lot of people come into the world, and they lose that authenticity because
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of what is dictated to outside of themselves.
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Right?
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So sense.
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So your little girl, like, my got the little guy when he was born, they went on instinct.
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They they they, you know, they they react.
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They don't react.
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They're right in the moment like you're you're talking about.
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But as human beings, what happens is people get pricked in product, And then they morph into
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what is expected of them outside of themselves to be able to perform Life.
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And now you're saying the opposite, which is what I agree with completely.
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I fear if you're connected to yourself, Hank, people are gonna either come to you, or they're
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gonna repel from you, and you have to be okay with that, first of all.
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Yep.
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But ultimately, what you're saying is get comfortable with that.
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Most people look at people that are successful and say, I wanna be, like, Hank Norman.
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I wanna be, you know, like Roxanne Dermaj.
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I wanna be, like, Tom Hanks, whatever it is.
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And they project and think they have to build that in order to become someone.
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And you're saying the opposite because We are all very I all say it's like our, our, our
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fingertips are fingerprints.
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We're unique.
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We bring something to the world that may only one person may listen to, and and we may make a
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change, or we may make a ripple effect across the world.
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But most people are trying to be someone else because they think go back to confidence that
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that person's better than them.
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Would you agree with that?
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Yeah.
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Completely.
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And it's a it's it's a mistake and it's hard to do.
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Like, I I just spoke at Greg Cardone's 10 x Growthcon, the second one.
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It was ten thousand people at the Mandalay Bay.
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And what I love is you get in this bubble, and so everyone tons of peep obviously thousands
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and people come up to me, text me, like, you were the best.
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You're the best speaker.
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And when I finally got on to the 10 x Facebook page.
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I got to hear from people that did.
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So, obviously, no one came up to me and was like, you were the worst person that spoke.
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But finally, when people were speaking more anonymously or not directly to me, I got to
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hear the comments of people that disliked my speech and how I talk.
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And what I like about that is that's what I want for everyone.
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The reason I'm so different from literally every person on that stage I I think it's
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important to be aware of when you're yourself, you are polarizing.
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As you mentioned earlier, you the term that I learned from out of reading is differentiation
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that if somebody tells me they don't like me, I'm not necessarily going to change.
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I'm not necessarily upset by that information.
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Like, but the analogy I use for good and for bad because I'm kind of crass is if a homeless
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per you're walking down the street and a homeless person yells something at you and
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calls you stupid, do you really take offense to that?
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Like, this that person know you.
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Like, that's just some crazy person on the street yelling at you.
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You have to have that what getting on camera and seeing yourself and broadcasting yourself
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and getting that practice has for your business and for you is you get great at being you.
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Reason I know I do teach self confidence.
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The reason I make people's is so successful is because I change you as a person.
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I get to deliver.
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You and I get to deliver on what Renee Brown is just talking about.
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She's a statistician.
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I teach vulnerability.
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I teach how to let down your armor and let the world in and see yourself.
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I take great pride that I stood on the stage in front of 10,000 people, and a lot of people
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didn't like me.
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A lot of people said I got up and left.
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Good.
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Wow.
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I don't care.
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Then I'm not for you.
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Or here's the thing.
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Either you're too stupid.
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Here's here's normally what's happened.
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I pushed a button and, like, I was talking to some of those people and they stopped talking
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to me in that in the, comments in Facebook because mostly why people leave and why people
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dislike me is because I'm gonna tear you to shreds because what I'm telling you, I know
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things that are messed up in your life, and I'm gonna make you confront them.
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On camera.
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People don't wanna hear that message, and I'm unrelenting.
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Like, this is my personality.
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And if you don't like it, then don't listen to me.
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I don't care.
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Like, I'm I if I've been to plea this is what you start to learn when you get on camera and
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see yourself and listen to people.
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You wanna be the best version of you.
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I'm not gonna change who I am for someone else because if I try to please that person, then
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the people that already like me are like, Why did he change?
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And here's the thing, because I heard it so many times, which is what's the only thing I
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wanna hear that you may they may not have loved me.
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They may not even understood the message I saying whether they did or didn't.
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Everyone agreed.
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Even people that hate me, I was authentic.
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I was the most authentic speaker they saw because guess what?
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That's what I'm peddling.
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That's what I teach.
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Get up there.
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I didn't try to be a speaker at a motivational conference.
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4 day conference, 20, 30 speakers, Tay Lopez, Tim Story, like, the biggest names in the
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country.
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And me, And I'm not trying to be someone.
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I'm trying to be me.
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And if it doesn't work for you, I don't care.
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And I need you to understand that for you and your job.
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Like, there's this element of people like, oh my god.
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What's about my business?
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I don't wanna piss people off.
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I'm sorry.
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This isn't make a commercial in the seventies and hope you please everybody.
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This is show people who you truly are and you will attract business to you.
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Will people be repelled?
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Of course, sure.
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Some, not enough.
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More will be so attracted to that realness, that authenticity, that it blows the haters
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away.
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And, you know, it's it's interesting you say that, right, because, of course, with me
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getting on bigger stages now, there's some of the feedback I got in New York is that the
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people that approached me and my goal is I liked you because you were real.
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You offered us something different.
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It wasn't a mo you know, It wasn't motivational.
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You weren't trying to kind of impress me anyway, but I got what's that cycle about?
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What's that cycle that you were talking about?
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Or Tell me about how I stay in the senses.
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So they actually got something out of it, and then they came.
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That said, I've looked at that tape, and I have been the most critical of myself because I just
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looked at it, and I've just recently, met with, I went to a, a speaker's boot camp just
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recently, last weekend in Cape Coral.
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And I don't know if you know Ed Tate, but he's a toastmaster.
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He was going through the steps.
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I said, after New York, I left it.
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I thought, okay, I'm not gonna look at it yet.
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Then I watched it, and then I watched it, and I went, ugh, and I cringed, And then, and then
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what so he, you know, he had a couple steps.
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And I'm sure you do like things.
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He said, watch it, normal speed, then watch it without sound, then watch it fast going forward
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backwards, and then just listen to it without video.
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He says, then you're gonna know exactly where you're at.
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And I thought, how raw is that?
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And that's what you're talking about.
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And interesting, because I was able to see a couple of speakers speak you know, that went up
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and and spoke.
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And the people that were too can't, heck, We disconnected, and we're all speakers at a
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professional level.
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And I could name to you the ones that went up there and just encapsulated the moments.
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And, I was, you know, am I gonna remember what they're selling?
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At that point, I didn't really remember.
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But I remembered those stories, and I went, wow.
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I lie I like you.
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I don't even I I think I'm gonna wanna know more about you.
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And I walked away with that, and these are people that are, you know, on the circuit
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speaking full time.
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So it was it was quite impressive to to, to see that point.
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So, in my business, that's what I'm doing.
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I'm saying to people, you are born perfect.
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You know, you come into this world, you know, not all of us had ideal environments.
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You know, we do the best we can.
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We've been pricked with product like the rest of us in the world.
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Guess what?
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You're an adult now.
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Get over it in a nice way, but get the get the job done, figure out what you need to do, and
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figure out that you're the best version of yourself, and you can be And if you don't have
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the skills, learn it, or figure out who can teach you.
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And I think what happens is a lot of people go around the world, you know, doing it in
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different ways.
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And then they they feel like, well, so and so didn't like that speech.
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So I must be doing something wrong versus kind of saying, Well, what parts of it really was
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good, and what could I learn?
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And I think that's the part that I want you to talk about because there's skill and there's
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authenticity.
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So how do you with your clients, how do you kind of decipher that?
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Because some people just need better speaking skills.
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And some people need to be authentic in order to capitalize for people to see them.
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So tell me how you kind of approach, people like that that you coach.
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How do I do it is I'm literally because I've been doing this so long.
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I I break it down into the tiniest pieces there is.
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The the beginning of speaking and the beginning of branding and even the beginning of getting
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on stage is what I've even taken into complete macro.
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Now I have a a free course.
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I can I can find you the link?
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I don't know where I haven't seen it since growth con, but it's what I what I what I call
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15 seconds to fame by using the Instagram stories in the upper left hand corner, that
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black camera, if you if you're in Instagram and you press the black camera in the upper left
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hand corner, you can record a 15 second video clip that then get saved to your story.
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I don't know if you're consuming them, but I was in other people's.
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And I was like, this is such a great tool, 15 seconds to speak, to get under pressure and
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perform, to actually say something coherently, to actually make a point in fifteen seconds
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that has value to the listener.
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That idea of breaking it down.
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So I used to do it in video, longer form video, but my main assignment of how I teach how to be
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authentic on the stage and how to be authentic in your life comes down to seconds and minutes
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on video.
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Facebook Live, I discourage people from starting out and doing because It doesn't
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instill good habits and actually instills really bad habits Okay.
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Waiting for pea.
23:12
I'm gonna wait.
23:13
Like, most people don't realize, like, I don't care how big your audience is.
23:17
Let's see if I my Facebook page is full.
23:21
I have 5000 people.
23:22
If I use that if I use my personal page, If I'm doing a Facebook live, only x number of people
23:29
are going to come to that thing live.
23:30
Let's say hun a 200 people show up.
23:32
Great.
23:33
But me sitting there going, let me wait for more people to come in.
23:36
More people are going to see your video after it's recorded than are going to see it when
23:42
it's live.
23:42
This bad habit of putting yourself first.
23:46
Let me wait until more people get in here before I start.
23:48
Then why am I when I watch your videos later, why am I waiting?
23:52
Why are you making me wait?
23:54
This idea of getting on camera and putting me first, this is the creation of authenticity and
24:00
empathy.
24:01
This is the change in your business and your life that everyone seeks.
24:04
When I train people to do 15 second videos and a minute long video, It's your job to put me
24:11
first to solve my problem.
24:13
I tell people to begin with an opinion.
24:16
An opinion to me, a a a producer, I I I produced I started the view.
24:21
I've only produced television my whole life, an opinion in the media doesn't mean, I think it's
24:28
raining out.
24:28
I think the sky's purple.
24:30
It's not just an idea.
24:31
An opinion in the media is your take on the world and how you would fix it.
24:37
Like, Rush Limbaugh has opinions on the right side, on the conservative side, because That's
24:42
his job to have conservative opinions about what's wrong with the world and how to fix
24:46
them.
24:46
Your job is to have an opinion about what's messed up in my life and how you would fix it
24:51
for me.
24:52
So I have people do drills of opinion videos.
24:56
State your opinion.
24:57
One that is highly traffic for me that I send almost every day is exactly what I said.
25:03
Here's my opinion video.
25:05
There is no, hey, guys.
25:07
There is no we.
25:08
There is no plurality.
25:09
Stop.
25:10
Saying, hey, guys.
25:11
And I then explain exact that's you do that for 30 seconds a minute, and you get used to
25:16
handing other people information and being of service and connecting to them and caring about
25:22
your audience, that's the foundation of a huge brand of a loyal following of authenticity of
25:30
relatability, empathy.
25:32
It's the it's the very cornerstone of the beginning of the rest of your life.
25:38
As a business person and a human being.
25:41
I've transformed people's lives.
25:44
I'm I my good friend, Matt Monero now, because I've been working and and trained Matt for
25:49
years.
25:50
He reached the point in media training with me where he had to take his $100,000,000 business
25:56
and completely tear it to the ground, fire almost everybody because he couldn't run his
26:01
business the same way because he had changed as a human being how he wanted to relate to other
26:06
human beings, and he could no longer work in that vein.
26:10
He had to change a $100,000,000 business and how he ran his entire business because of his
26:16
train with me.
26:18
So Madam Offices happens regardless of what you're doing.
26:21
What you're saying is what the the deeper you get connected like Matt, he still wanted to be
26:27
of service, but he recognized that his core inner truth needed to be reflected out to the
26:31
world in a different way.
26:33
And he stripped it apart to happen to do that.
26:35
But he also realized much deeper than that.
26:37
How he was how he had previously interacted with people was out of anger was out of the old
26:44
pain from how he was brought up.
26:46
Old behaviors, old habits from who he was, And as he learned to get comfortable with who he
26:53
actually is today, he realized all the that armor, all that bullshit, all that anger Not
26:59
only wasn't it necessary, it was detrimental.
27:03
Right.
27:04
Right.
27:05
Wow.
27:05
So tell me so I know that I'm always learning, and I'm sure a lot of people that are list will
27:13
listen to this are always learning because they're trying to get better.
27:16
Right?
27:16
So it's almost like I always call it one of the blind spots in our reality that puts us back
27:23
either into the past or puts us to forward into the future, right?
27:26
Right here right now.
27:27
I'm talking to Hank Norman.
27:28
You're in New York City, Ivan Niagara Falls, I'm completely engrossed in everything you're
27:32
saying.
27:33
I'm using every sensor is, and I can't wait to hear what next you're gonna say.
27:36
So that's a moment in time.
27:38
And what happens, I I believe, and I know what happens with me, I should speak about me, is
27:42
sometimes something comes across my mind, and it's like, scrolled off.
27:45
I go for a second, and then I have to redirect And the only way that I get better at this is
27:51
my like, even my podcast is by doing it, by talking to different people, by having
27:56
different opinions, by saying what I think.
27:59
I I may not know exactly what I'm saying at that point, but I've said it.
28:02
And what you're saying is a lot of times, again, if you're thinking about a lot of us
28:06
going up, It's like, don't, you know, don't talk too loud.
28:09
Kids are to be not, you know, not be heard.
28:12
And, oh, that's wrong.
28:15
Or I can't believe you think like that.
28:16
So again, people stop showing people other people who they are, and then they start a
28:22
business and they're in the social media world, And they're like, dear, in the headlights, they
28:27
kinda go, what am I supposed to say now?
28:29
I I'm I'm stuck.
28:31
These fifteen seconds, Instagram snippets.
28:35
Is that something that you start people off that are training with you with?
28:39
Yeah.
28:40
Let's say my brand is, authentic living with Roxanne.
28:44
Do I deconstruct my brand by giving bits, or am I talking about,
28:51
you
28:51
know, what I saw outside and, you know, I saw
28:53
it wanting about it.
28:54
About everything, but the training really is for everybody and what my entire process does
29:01
and what my one of my one of the courses in my Star Power University, which is a collection of
29:06
video workshops where I walk you through and, like, it's quite intense, actually.
29:10
It's like The second one about scaling your business, speaking to exactly what you're
29:14
talking about, what happens to people, professionals, everybody, people in general, is
29:20
You get an expertise.
29:21
You learn what you learn and you learn it over years.
29:23
You either go to school or you're in the workplace, whatever.
29:25
You learn this skill.
29:26
You're a shrink.
29:27
You're a yoga instructor.
29:28
You're a plumber.
29:29
It doesn't matter.
29:30
You do this thing.
29:32
You don't know what you know.
29:33
You can't sit you can't sit in front of a computer and go, this is my process.
29:37
This is my let me explain my methodology.
29:40
You can't just sit there and say, let me download how I solve problems because we live
29:44
in the now.
29:45
When you would encounter a problem, you think about it and you solve it.
29:49
When I get you people in my course gets you to record your process, working with people, doing
29:54
whatever it is you do.
29:55
Just like your coach had you watch you speak, I make people watch themselves work.
30:01
I need you to see you doing what you do because now you can become objective for the first time
30:07
in your life for free with your phone.
30:09
For the first time in your life, you can make light year leaps in growth and learning for
30:14
yourself because now you can say, oh, when I encounter this type of client, this is the type
30:18
of advice I give them.
30:20
This is the so you start to see all your clients in categories.
30:23
You've literally come up with the language that you can now explain to other people.
30:27
This is how I work.
30:30
That's what social media is all about.
30:33
All I want you to tell me and show me how you work.
30:37
Do I wanna work with you?
30:38
Because tell me the advice.
30:40
Literally, and I gave it to another guy.
30:42
He was supposed to write a book about it.
30:43
Maybe he will.
30:44
It's give it away for free.
30:46
Everything you know social media, give it away for free.
30:49
All the advice.
30:50
No one's gonna take it and do it because they still need your help to utilize that
30:55
information.
30:55
Everyone's if I give all my information away, then no one's gonna want to buy from me or work
31:00
with me com complete opposite.
31:03
When you show two people the value you bring them.
31:07
When they understand the level of your expertise, the level of detail that you
31:11
understand about the help how to help somebody and how you we go about helping somebody,
31:16
that's the person we wanna work with.
31:18
When you demonstrate your expertise and I teach people to actually understand their own
31:23
expertise.
31:24
You can't talk about how you work with people unless you actually see it.
31:28
Somebody has to sit there and take notes and say, this is the first step.
31:31
That's how I developed my own coursework without me seeing me coaching people I wouldn't
31:36
know that a mission statement is super important.
31:38
I wouldn't know that your story of origin, how you got to where you are, and then taking your
31:44
pain and connecting it to power in how to solve problems for your clients is the connective
31:49
tissue that makes an unstoppable world known brand.
31:53
Like, Grant Cardone cracked the stadium with 10,000 people because I changed him as a
31:58
person.
31:59
I made him realize he had to tap into his personal story.
32:03
When I met Grant 8 years ago, a couple years into that thing, he kept saying I don't wanna
32:09
he he was addicted to drugs in his teens and his twenties.
32:13
His mom kicked him out in his teens, and he was became a a drug addict in his twenties.
32:17
He's like, I'm not gonna share that story with people.
32:20
He he didn't think it made sense to share because he didn't obviously didn't think it
32:24
helped him to share that information.
32:26
It sounds like something you wouldn't wanna tell people.
32:28
And he's like, I also don't like to dwell in the past.
32:30
I think it's a waste of time.
32:32
For me to emotionally spend time regurgitating and living in this thing, which I've long he's
32:37
almost a billionaire.
32:38
He's a he's I'm not that same guy.
32:40
I got it, dude.
32:41
But guess what?
32:42
Not sharing it is wrong.
32:45
You not being able to relate to me your story and be real and me how you overcame something.
32:51
Once he started doing that, I take full credit for pet him packing that stadium with ten
32:56
thousand people.
32:56
That's the reason I stood on that stage.
32:58
Because I made Grant change his mind.
33:01
I made Grant do things differently and talk about his life in a way that he was unwilling
33:06
uncomfortable and did not want to do.
33:09
And when he started to do it, his world changed.
33:13
He packed a stadium with 10,000 people The people sitting up front, every seat was a
33:19
$15,000 seat.
33:22
Wow.
33:22
He shares his story and the world came calling.
33:27
He can't stop them.
33:28
He has rabid fans that will do anything he asks because he's being himself.
33:34
He's being real.
33:35
He's telling you how he did it and how it works, and he's not scared to share that story.
33:41
And it's changed his life, and it's changed mine.
33:44
Because most people are afraid to share those potholes, Hank.
33:49
I know.
33:49
Well, you know, what if I had, you know, what if I had a, you know, I got pregnant when I was
33:54
young or if I I dabbled in drugs or, you know, I saw violence, you know, I saw violence when I
33:59
was young, and I shared it in my book.
34:01
Like, so my book is based on kind of my reality of growing up and seeing uncertainty.
34:06
And I, as a therapist, I analyze my own life.
34:08
I said, you know what?
34:09
People look at me, they might see me on a stage like you did and think, she's never been
34:14
through anything.
34:15
And then I talk about, no, I saw a lot of stuff, I I have a successful life now.
34:19
And what happened after 25 years, it showed back up.
34:23
So I took my book, And I analyzed my own life that I would do anybody else, and then I wrote
34:28
about it.
34:28
And I said to the reader, here here's the deal.
34:31
You can do the same thing too because everybody that's a doctor or a psychiatrist or
34:37
psychologist or an actor or, you know, whatever they are, they've all had issues in their life.
34:43
They've also overcome, overcome certain things.
34:46
And if it's relationships for you, I'm telling you, I've had this, I have this great life, but
34:50
there was one part there was this gaping hole.
34:53
And guess what I did?
34:54
I overcompensated by everything else, and I plugged that hole until that hole said, guess
35:00
what?
35:00
I'm not hiding it anymore.
35:02
And then it blew up.
35:03
And so for me, people will say to me, you know, a lot of people are gonna deal with you.
35:09
I've I've been told that.
35:10
I go, yeah.
35:11
I go, okay.
35:12
Well, that I can understand.
35:13
But then there's a lot of people that are gonna say, Wow.
35:16
Who's this psychologist that just told her that she saw Valens when she was young, and she
35:22
ended up a 25 year marriage because the replication wasn't the same, but he was
35:27
emotionally unavailable.
35:29
So I got that early.
35:30
So at first, I went, and I launched my book in 2 4 2 14.
35:33
I said, oh, what do I do?
35:36
Do I I've already written the book, so I've dropped off, you know, the deep end, I'm in the
35:41
pool.
35:42
I can't back up now, and I I didn't really think through it at that point when I wrote it
35:46
because I was being completely raw, saying, here here I am, I think if I can go through all
35:53
of this in my life and still make a pretty good life that anybody can, hoping that even if one
35:58
person read it, that I would have made change.
36:01
So I did it a bit different.
36:02
So maybe I was at, I was at, probably at the Heck Norman School a little bit earlier, not
36:06
knowing it.
36:07
And, and that's what I try to teach when I interact with people or, or, or, or, speak.
36:12
Be yourself.
36:13
We're human.
36:14
We get, you know, we are we get flooded.
36:17
We get knocked down.
36:18
Our thoughts get in our way, but that does not define who you are.
36:21
Show it sometimes.
36:22
You, you know, sometimes you don't wanna it to be completely raw all the time, but you want to
36:28
at least people let people know that you're real.
36:31
And I, I, I could tell you by the feedback that I've gotten since I started my business.
36:34
It has been good.
36:36
And I still am learning how to step more into it and when is it appropriate to share it, and
36:40
when is it not appropriate, based on the context of when where I am at in my career too?
36:46
Yep.
36:47
So I this is all phenomenal stuff.
36:51
I've, you know, I've not had anyone, like you that has spoken to this dep of, I would say,
36:56
brand identity, authenticity, social media.
37:00
I've not had anybody speak about that.
37:02
So I'm, would love for you to tell people, where, they can find you.
37:08
I know there's a course that, you'd like to promote.
37:11
So please tell people where they can find you Hank in so that they can connect with you.
37:16
I'm super active on Twitter.
37:19
I mean, Facebook changed there.
37:20
Algorithm.
37:21
So you can't get in my you could like my business page, but the cut Facebook's totally
37:26
messed up that whole paradigm.
37:28
So
37:31
Sure.
37:37
No.
37:38
I I can't I can't hear you now.
37:40
I
37:40
don't know.
37:41
Oh, you the the
37:43
now?
37:43
Yes.
37:44
I can.
37:44
Something happened there for a second.
37:45
What else am I doing today, Alicia?
37:47
Yeah.
37:47
A call came in, so it muted, I think.
37:50
So, yeah, the, I'm super active on Facebook and Twitter, but it's hard to get.
37:55
I can't let anybody else in on my Facebook feed.
37:59
And, Twitter is where I'm most active at Hank Norman.
38:03
And on Instagram, I'm doing my 15 seconds to fame.
38:06
I do my Instagram stories daily.
38:08
It's like, it's it's the free gym you we all have for, getting better and getting I've had
38:15
people just do fifteen seconds to fame, just make those insta stories, and they doubled
38:20
business in a week by just making The
38:22
teachers the same is actually a course that you offer.
38:26
It is, but it's literally just the extras.
38:28
It'll I just tell you how to do different types of Okay.
38:30
Videos.
38:32
But, yeah, 15 seconds of fame is a course.
38:34
But literally, it here's the secret.
38:37
Press record.
38:38
Go in the upper corner on the in Instagram and press the button and record yourself and get
38:44
good at making 15 second videos.
38:46
Your business will change.
38:48
Like, trust me.
38:49
I've had everybody contact me within a week and saying, I did 3 15 second videos, and I nailed
38:55
3 more clients.
38:56
I got extra $10,000 this week.
38:58
Thank you.
38:59
Like, trust me, it's a game changer.
39:01
So, yeah, I packaged all that up, and it's called Starpower University.
39:05
I I'll send you a link.
39:06
I it's you can Google it if you I mean, Here's the thing.
39:09
If you're a entrepreneur, if you're in any business and you're not leveraging free
39:13
marketing, social media, to get you and the word out there about who you are.
39:19
You're I I'm not sure if you're spending ad dollars elsewhere, it's crazy.
39:24
So I I can't understand somebody in buying advertising, but not taking advantage of
39:29
becoming the person people wanna see in social media.
39:30
So they They wanna buy from people they like.
39:34
They wanna buy from people they know.
39:36
You have to make yourself accessible in this world in social media.
39:39
This is no way around it.
39:40
Guess, what I'm gonna do?
39:41
I'm gonna get off this call, and I'm gonna go do that, and I'm gonna test it, because I I
39:46
could see what you're talking about, in reference to being authentic.
39:50
And every time I see you talk and I didn't you weren't on stage in New York, and I was hoping
39:54
you were gonna be on stage.
39:56
So and I, obviously, I didn't make Grand Card Jones, and I knew gonna be, and I, I, I, I read
40:01
all the, I was looking at all the feedback on Facebook.
40:03
I saw the whole stuff going on.
40:06
So I, I really was sore that I missed it, but, Thank you so much.
40:11
This has been phenomenal.
40:12
I am going to check out your courses because, I know I have a lot more to learn about showing
40:19
my true authentic self.
40:21
And, hang, I will embed the links and everything when I when I send this out.
40:26
So, not to worry if everybody should be able to, get to you and just check you out on
40:31
Twitter on Instagram there.
40:33
So, again, thanks so much for listening, again, this week.
40:39
Be authentic.
40:40
That's all you have.
40:41
You have one go round, and meeting the best version of who you are scars and all.
40:48
Take care.
40:49
We'll talk to you soon.