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When Someone Close to You Is Anxious and You Can’t Help · Daily Devotions for Busy Lives

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  Speak: Matt Haig was 24 when his mind came apart. A breakdown of
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  panic and depression knocked him flat until he no longer wanted
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  to be alive. He went home to recover, but recovery was slow
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  and ugly. The anxiety didn't lift quickly. He couldn't be
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  talked or cheered out of it, and he couldn't reason his own way
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  back to okay. The truth was, Matt didn't survive that stretch
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  on his own. Someone stayed by him. We'll come back to what
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  happened, but first,
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  welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm Bart Leger.
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  Years of chaplain work put me in places where I had nothing to
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  offer. Somebody's worst day, and all I could do sometimes was
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  just be there. I'll tell you what I wanted. I wanted it to be
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  useful. Sometimes, it was just making a pot of coffee and
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  sitting with a person. Maybe you've watched somebody you love
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  wrestle with anxiety that won't lift. A husband or a wife or a
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  friend you've known for many years. You've said the
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  comforting things, and you've said them more than once. in the
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  kitchen, and the anxiety is still right where it was. What
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  wears on a person is the part where nothing seems to register.
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  You start to wonder if you're doing this thing all wrong, or
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  if somebody better at it would have gotten through by now.
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  Isaiah has a verse that speaks to the one standing nearby. It's
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  in Isaiah 35, verse 3. With this news, strengthen those who have
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  tired hands, and encourage those who have weak knees. Think about
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  who's being addressed. The command doesn't go to the
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  anxious person. It goes to whoever is standing next to them.
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  God hands the assignment to the bystander. And that means the
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  job you've been doing clumsily for months is an assignment God
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  gave out on purpose. Then look at the body parts, hands and
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  knees. The hands have gone slack, and the knees are stumbling.
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  That's what exhaustion and fear look like in a body. Isaiah
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  isn't asking you to change anybody's mind or correct their
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  thinking. He's asking you to shore up what's weak. Now look
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  at those first three words, because they're doing more work
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  than they appear to with this news. The strengthening is tied
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  to something you say, and the next verse tells you what it is.
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  Say to those with fearful hearts, be strong and do not fear. Your
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  God is coming. He is coming to save you. That's a different
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  thing than reassurance about the situation. You've already tried
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  telling your person it's going to be fine, and they can't make
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  themselves believe you because neither of you knows that. What
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  Isaiah puts in your mouth is a promise about who God is and
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  what He's coming to do, and that holds up whether or not anybody
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  feels better tonight. It helps to know where this verse falls
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  in Isaiah. Chapter 35 is the one where the desert blooms and a
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  highway runs through it. The news you're delivering is about
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  a future your person can't see from where they're standing. So
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  your part is to keep pointing at it in a voice they trust. The
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  writer of Hebrews picked this verse and handed it to the
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  church. "Strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees," he wrote,
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  which means God has never expected an anxious soul to get
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  strong on its own. So here's your part. And it comes down to
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  two things. Keep showing up without requiring proof that
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  it's working. Your presence is probably doing something you
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  can't even measure from where you're standing. And change what
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  you say. Talk about what God is going to do and what God can do.
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  on a night when nothing is fine, because that one is true. I'll
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  add one more thing. If your person needs a doctor or a
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  counselor, helping them get there is part of staying. Matt
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  was afraid to go. Andrea took him anyway. Her name was Andrea.
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  woman he'd later marry and build a life and two kids with. The
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  worst of it she simply refused to leave. She couldn't fix his
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  brain or make the fear stop. What she could do was stay close
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  and available through panic attacks and all the times he was
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  sure he was a burden. Matt later wrote that her presence was one
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  of the reasons he's still alive. She didn't cure him. What she
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  did was she loved him through it and that turned out to be the
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  thing that mattered. she loved him through it. Andrea hadn't
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  had any training and didn't have a technique and she gave him the
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  one thing nobody else could. By his own account, she wasn't
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  saying the right thing. She was listening and she was there.
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  Here's today's challenge. Think of the person you've been trying
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  to help then take the pressure off yourself to fix them. Tell
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  God you're handing the outcome to him and keeping the post that
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  he gave you to be there with them. Then do your Isaiah 35
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  part this week. Send one message or say one sentence about who
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  God is and what he's coming to do. Something like, "I don't
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  know how this all resolves, but I do know God is with you in
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  it." And stay present with them. That's the assignment. Father,
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  you told the people standing nearby to strengthen tired hands
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  and steady stumbling knees, and you gave them the words to say,
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  "Thank you that you never asked us to cure anybody." For
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  everybody listening who's worn out loving somebody through
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  anxiety that won't lift, strengthen them today. Do the
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  work inside their person that none of us can see or even reach.
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  In Jesus' name, amen. If Daily Devotions for Busy Lives has
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  been an encouragement to you, would you take a minute and
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  leave a rating and review? It helps more people find these
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  devotions and it only takes a moment. I'd be so grateful.
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  Thanks for joining me on Daily Devotions for Busy Lives.
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  Remember, God gave the assignment to the one standing
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  nearby, and he gave you something to say, "Stay in the
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  room." Come back next time for more encouragement to help you
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  live grounded in God's truth. Until then, God bless and have a
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  great day.