#16 - Stop Focusing on the Popular Group

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship · Jan 24, 2022 · 16m

This whole idea of "the in crowd" or "the popular crowd" comes up in questions I’ve received for many years.

As a generality, I’m calling the issue in crowd vs out crowd, but let me clear, nobody uses that exactly language when they write to me. What I get instead are letters explaining how frustrated people are when they aren’t being welcomed into a certain group, or when their kids aren’t included to hang out with a certain group.

Or perhaps a kid has encountered a "mean girls" situation where they were friends with a certain group and are now being excluded. In…