Latest / Sober Readings / My Checklist, Not Yours
Transcript
- 10 15Reading: Welcome back to Sober Readings, everyone. Thanks for joining me for today's readings. Today is Thursday, the 15th of October. Let's get started today with the Serenity Prayer. God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference. Today's reading from Daily Reflections. My checklist, not yours. Gossip Barbed with our anger, a polite form of murder by character assassination, has its satisfactions for us too. Here we are not trying to help those we criticize. We are trying to proclaim our own righteousness. And that's on page sixty seven of twelve and twelve. Sometimes I don't realize that I gossip about someone until the end of the day. It goes on to ask, how could I have said something like that? Gossip can show its ugly head during a coffee break, during lunch with business associates, or in the evening when I'm tired from the day's activities, and feel justified in bolstering my ego at the expense of someone else. Character defects like gossip sneak into my life when I'm not making a constant effort to work the twelve steps of recovery. And maybe the most important line in this reading: today, the only inventory I need to take is my own. And this reading reminds me that gossip is one of those behaviors that can seem harmless on the surface, but it can be incredibly damaging, not only to the person we're talking about. But to our own spiritual well-being and sobriety. When I gossip, I'm allowing my ego, pride, and judgment to take control, and putting myself above someone else rather than practicing the humility, honesty, and tolerance that the 12-step teaches me. The program of AA encourages me to take my own inventory, not someone else's. And gossip is often a convenient way to avoid looking at my own shortcomings. It can create resentments, damage relationships, destroy trust, and introduce negativity into my life. I've learned that just because something is true doesn't mean it needs to be repeated. And just because I have an opinion doesn't mean it needs to be shared. The tenth step reminds me to continue taking personal inventory, and part of that inventory should include examining the words I speak about others. Especially when they're not around to defend themselves. Before I say something about another person, I should ask myself whether it's true, whether it's necessary, and whether it's kind. My recovery isn't about becoming better than anyone else, it's about becoming a better version of myself. And sometimes one of the most spiritual things I can do is keep my mouth shut, say a prayer for that person, and get back to working on my own side of the street. Today's reading from twenty four hours a day. The AA Thought for the Day. And this is all about gratitude. I really enjoyed this reading. It starts off by saying, Am I deeply grateful to AA for what it has done for me in regaining my sobriety and opening up an entirely new life for me? And then there's a line that says, It has made a full life possible for me. And the question at the bottom of the AA Thought for the Day is Do I realize that I could have nothing worthwhile without AA? The meditation for the day. There is only one way to get full satisfaction from life, and that is to live the way you believe God wants you to live. Live with God in that secret place of the Spirit, and you will have a feeling of being on the right road. You will have a deep sense of satisfaction. The world will have meaning, and you will have a place in the world. Work to do that counts in the eternal order of things. Many things will work for you and with you so long as you feel you are on God's side. And in today's prayer for the day, it asks that I may have a sense of eternal value of the work I do. And so going back to the question in the AA Thought for the Day, do I realize that I could have nothing worthwhile without AA? And my answer is absolutely yes. That doesn't mean I wouldn't have stuff, a job, or people in my life without AA, but I have to ask myself what any of those things would really mean if I were still trapped in the insanity of alcoholism and addiction. AA has given me something far more valuable than material possessions or accomplishments. It's given me a second chance at life, a relationship with God, peace of mind. Meaningful relationships, and the ability to wake up each morning and see someone I'm proud of in the mirror. It has allowed me to become a better father, a better friend, and hopefully a better human being. Today, I can pursue my passions, set goals, help others, and face life's challenges without needing to escape into a bottle or a drug. None of that would be possible if I were still drinking and using. And I have to remind myself that these gifts aren't guaranteed. They require daily effort, humility, gratitude, and a willingness to continue working the program. Sometimes I get so caught up in the responsibilities and distractions of everyday life that I forget just how far I've come and how much I've been given. That's when I need to remember what my life looked like before I came into the rooms of AA, and how easily I could lose everything if I stopped doing these things. That I've been doing daily that keep me sober. AA didn't just teach me how to stop drinking. It taught me how to live a life worth staying sober for. AA didn't open the doors of heaven and let me in, it opened the doors of hell and let me out. And for today's final reading, I'm gonna read a short story from AA in prison, and this one's titled Brief History. Here's a rundown on my life of drinking. I started drinking when I was sixteen years old. That was late in life. Late is in quotes. For that, I can thank neighbors who watched after us. My mom and dad both drank. They had five kids. We depended on welfare. I was called a problem child. I would run away from home. I ran from the abuse. I went through foster care until I was sixteen. When I came back home, both of my parents were drinking even more. They drank up the county checks. They left it to churches, their friends, and our neighbors to feed us. So I quit school. I got a job so my brothers and sisters had food to eat. Then I started stealing my parents' booze. I did it to drown my feelings. At eighteen, I went to a rehab for 30 days. Before that, I had been hospitalized. I'd fallen off a third floor porch. I continued drinking. I had run-ins with the law. Then the court ordered me to rehabs. At the age of thirty, I was hospitalized with alcohol poisoning. I had been to a Halloween party. I had drunk one and a half fifths of Jack Daniels in less than ten hours. I went home and fell asleep in a chair. If I had gone to bed, I would not be here today. My neighbor came to check on me. That saved my life. I was rushed to the area hospital. I had my stomach pumped and flushed. I was in terrible pain. I was nearly dead. I had a high alcohol level in my blood, so they couldn't give me painkillers. The poison shut my liver down for three days. After weeks of treatment I was sent home. I now have hepatitis A and C. It's because of the damage I did to my liver. This was a turning point in my life. By the grace of God, my life was saved. I began attending AA meetings. I went for nearly five years. I had many slips. I went to a rehab for one year. Then I came to prison. Over the 36 years before prison, I lost my wife. I lost everything I owned. This is the hardest way for an alcoholic to learn, but God had a reason. He took away my old way of living. He's given back my self-respect. I still can learn from my mistakes. I want the time I have left on earth to be happy and joyful. By the grace of God, I hope to have that. I will be free someday. God willing, I can live without the booze. I want help so I can stop. So I will be a winner. And that was written by Anonymous. And what comes to mind for me after reading that cunning, baffling, powerful. Alcoholism truly is cunning, baffling, and powerful. So many of us grew up watching our parents or other family members drink, witnessing the destruction, the arguments, the broken promises, broken furniture, and the pain that alcohol brought into our homes. We saw firsthand what drinking due to a person and to the people who love them. And somewhere along the way, we made a promise to ourselves that we would never become like that. We would never put our families through the same suffering, never lose control, and never allow alcohol to destroy the things that mattered most to us. Yet somehow, despite everything we witnessed and everything we swore we would never do, we found ourselves walking down that very same path. That's what makes this disease so baffling. We knew the consequences before we ever picked up a drink, but that knowledge alone wasn't enough to protect us, to stop us from drinking. Alcoholism doesn't care about our promises, our good intentions, or how much we love our families. It convinces us that somehow we'll be different, that we'll be able to control what others couldn't. And before we know it, we're repeating the very behaviors we once despised. That's why I need Alcoholics Anonymous in my life, because understanding the dangers of alcohol isn't the same as having the power to stay away from it. Through the twelve steps, a higher power, and the fellowship of AA, I have an opportunity to break that cycle and become the person I once promised myself I would be. So that's it for today's episode of Sober Readings. Thank you so much for listening. If you'd like to share your thoughts and your comments on today's readings, there's a link in the show notes below to send me an email. If you'd like to drop a dollar in the virtual donation basket for today's readings, you can go to my website, soberreadings.com, and click on the support page and look for the button that says drop a dollar in the basket. So thanks for spending a few minutes of your day with me. Be good to yourselves and each other. And remember, we only have to do this one day at a time. So just for today, don't drink. Go to a meeting and keep coming back. Have a great day, everyone. And as my friend Larry says, best day ever.