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Transcript

Perfect Is a Prison. Here’s How I Broke Out · The Eugene Hamilton Podcast

• 0:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, what's going on?
• 0:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Grow squad and welcome to another episode of the Eugene Hamilton podcast.
• 0:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hope you're doing well.
• 0:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're in December now, right?
• 0:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Just had the Thanksgiving holidays, depending on when you listen to this podcast episode, but today as I'm recording, just for instance Thanksgiving holidays, got a few sniffles of traveling a little bit, but I'm doing well, hope you're doing well.
• 0:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much for tuning in.
• 0:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: And guess what, I've got a more information to share with you regarding the last, I guess the newest project that I've helped to create, or I've created, as I say, along with my little son, the children's book entitled Go Grow Globe, how to offer the press, folks are buying it in droves and tell them, school districts, I'm doing a reading of a library, things are going super duper well, and I'm certainly glad that you're alone for it.
• 1:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much for your support.
• 1:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for tuning in.
• 1:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for going along this ride with me as we move forward and we continue each and every day to go, to grow and to grow.
• 1:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's pray as we begin this episode today.
• 1:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: God, we thank you for a new day.
• 1:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for air that we breathe.
• 1:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for all the things that you provide for us.
• 1:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: We thank you that as we move forward along the way that you are with us, that you are there to guide us.
• 1:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: You are there to lead us.
• 1:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I pray for my friend right now as they are moving forward as they are making decisions during this last month of the year.
• 1:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: as if preparing for a powerful 2025, I pray you will give them confidence to know that you are going to guide them.
• 1:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: They may not have all the answers right now, but your word tells us to walk by faith and not by sight.
• 1:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you again for our time together and your name we pray, amen.
• 1:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Today, I think it's important as we are kicking off the last month or it's already begun the last month of 2024, let's talk a little bit about breaking free from this belief that you've got to be perfect to have a successful future.
• 2:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: One of the things that we all struggle with, in fact, at some point in our lives, you may not struggle with it on a day-to-day basis, you may not struggle with it even month to month.
• 2:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: But for the most part, most of us, if not all of us, if you're tuning in, we'd like to do our best.
• 2:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I wanna put a pin right there because sometimes your best, sometimes my best, is not the best.
• 2:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let me clarify.
• 2:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're individuals who play sports.
• 2:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're individuals who play instruments.
• 2:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're individuals who cook in the kitchen.
• 2:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're individuals who do arts and drama, and they give their best.
• 3:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Unfortunately, many individuals have to face the music that their best oftentimes is not the best.
• 3:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: In other words, there are people who play basketball with LeBron James.
• 3:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I know I like LeBron James.
• 3:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: There are people who are on the same court with him day in, day out, weekend, week out, game in, game out.
• 3:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're giving their best, but they are clearly not the best.
• 3:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes people get hung up on the fact that they're not LeBron James.
• 3:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want you to be set free.
• 3:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: If I may, if I may offer that phrase to you right now, to be set free
• 3:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: that means I have an excuse or my best is not okay.
• 3:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: In fact, there's a study done by the personality and individual differences foundation and they discovered this, or should say journal and they discovered this, that 30% of college students identify as perfectionists.
• 4:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Man, I know you struggle with it.
• 4:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: In fact, I often times have a difficult time with individuals who are always on their perfectionist game.
• 4:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, let me, let me, let me say this one.
• 4:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: There are some things in life that I like to be perfect at.
• 4:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: I like to make sure I go back, I triple-check, I chord-drupal-check, I make sure I like to give in certain areas of my life.
• 4:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: But there are other areas of my life where I'm okay and not being perfect in.
• 4:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, once I've grown up, my dad had this thing with mowing the grass, and he had this thing.
• 4:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you remember, if you were my age, or they're about, you remember when self-propelled lawn mowers were things.
• 5:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if you don't know what a self-propelled lawnmower is, Google it, right?
• 5:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's a little handle you could push, and the more we kind of go itself, and go forward itself, you'd have to guide it still with your hands.
• 5:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: But for by and large, you didn't have to push the mode with all your strength.
• 5:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: because there was something some mechanic, some kind of gadget within the lawnmower itself that kind of propelled it forward.
• 5:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you had to just guide anyway.
• 5:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Long to a short, it was during that time where, yeah, I don't know the genesis of this, but my dad got really, really it seemed to me, like, infactuated with the lines in the grass.
• 5:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: At the lines in the grass had to be straight.
• 5:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was okay with just making sure I cut every blade of grass.
• 5:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: He was concerned with making sure that I learned that you cut every blade of grass but that the tire marks were in uniform.
• 5:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: I said, I am not going to die on that hill.
• 5:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not gotten trouble, of course, I've had.
• 5:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: We had several runnings about that growing up and he'll tell you who won.
• 6:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: But nonetheless, here's the point.
• 6:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was okay not being perfect in that area.
• 6:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: But when it came, let's say to me, what you call it, trimming the bushes, trimming the hedges, right?
• 6:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: I had to make sure I had a certain uniform, had to make sure that things were moving.
• 6:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I had my thing that I wanted to be perfect in.
• 6:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: And today I want you to understand this because not only are 30% of color students identifying as perfectionists, there's another stat from research that would suggest that 70% of individuals with perfectionist tendencies report experiencing anxiety and 50% of those individuals report depressive symptoms.
• 6:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: So oftentimes in life,
• 6:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: being perfect is like chasing this ghost that we can never catch.
• 7:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't believe in ghosts but this is just a terminology that came to my head just now.
• 7:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: But we're chasing something that is not reality.
• 7:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't know if you are a believer or not, that's not what I'm here to discuss in this
• 7:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I do realize that we all were born in sin.
• 7:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: If we read the Bible, it talks about the fact that not only were we born in sin, but we were shapened in iniquity.
• 7:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And just a cursory definition or description of what that looks like is, you and I were not born perfect.
• 7:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: We were born with struggles.
• 7:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: We were born with issues.
• 7:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: We were born, the old adit says, we were born behind the A-ball, and so it feels as if in life no matter how good we do, no matter how perfect we think things are, because we were born behind the A-ball, it seems as if we're always playing ketchup.
• 8:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what I don't want you to get caught up in is there's nothing wrong with giving your best effort every single day.
• 8:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: In fact, I would encourage you to put your best foot forward in everything that you do.
• 8:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I will say this because you and I cannot afford to walk around with depressive symptoms struggling with anxiety that we brought up on ourselves that we can't control if we
• 8:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: mindset, stigma, whatever you want to call it.
• 8:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want you to understand today that even if people don't validate, your best can be good enough.
• 8:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I know we live in a day and age where everybody is raw-run, motivating you to do, yeah, to go above and beyond, and you should.
• 9:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: But sometimes you go above and beyond and the result is still the result.
• 9:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Does it make sense?
• 9:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, there are people who I know have paid for coaches and trainers in certain sports or voice coaches with regard to singing and their skillset will only take them so far.
• 9:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've seen people who have burned the candle on both ends, and that's an old country's southern saying that simply means that they wake up and they go to sleep and all they think about is that one thing that they desire to be better at, and sometimes the result is the result.
• 9:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, do we get better?
• 9:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 9:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Over time, do we get better?
• 9:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
• 9:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: But what I want you to focus on, in fact, I just read this.
• 10:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think it was, maybe David Shans, looking up on social media, he has a brand called the Social Proof Brand, Social Proof Podcast, and he talks about the fact that as he looked back at the work of certain popular influencers, whether it's Kevin Hart, whether
• 10:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: And he pitched this, and I'm not going to hit her argue this, but he pitched this idea that these individuals as you look back at their tape, as you look back at their body of work, as you look back at their product, they're really having gotten better according to him.
• 10:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is opinion.
• 10:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I tend to agree with, I guess, the concept of the general understanding of it.
• 10:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: He said, he didn't believe that Kevin Hart has really gotten better at telling jokes.
• 10:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: He didn't believe that Kai said not has gotten better at producing and putting out content.
• 11:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: He says, but what has worked for both of them is something called the compound effect.
• 11:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: That when you stop focusing on trying to be the best or be perfect every time and just put in some reps.
• 11:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Over time, you will reap the benefits of just compounding your interest, compounding your effect, and that people will jump in and we'll follow you.
• 11:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Check this out.
• 11:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: People will sometimes follow you, there will sometimes take mentorship from you, there will sometimes believe in your dream, not because you're perfect, not because you're best, but because you won't quit.
• 11:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: I did say something, I did say some press rewind, hit the little button and go back a
• 11:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes people are not so much interested in your product because it's perfect because it's the best because it's top of the line.
• 11:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes they're interested in the work ethic that you display the consistency that you put forth.
• 12:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the fact that no matter if you're the best or not, if it's perfectly imperfect, you're going to put in their work.
• 12:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, will you try to get better?
• 12:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely, we didn't put stuff out.
• 12:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Just to push stuff out.
• 12:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do I hope that by episode 26, I'm a better part, Castro, then I was episode one, I would hope so.
• 12:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: But do I even believe for just one moment that I'm the best partcaster?
• 12:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely not.
• 12:31
  [UNKNOWN]: Ha ha ha.
• 12:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right, I'm putting out, I'm sharing what I share weekend and weekend.
• 12:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm hoping I'm praying, I'm believing that I'm getting better.
• 12:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm not so much caught up in, it's my podcast number one.
• 12:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing a wish it were number one, absolutely.
• 12:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: We all have goals and dreams.
• 12:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I work toward that absolutely, but I won't get hung up on it.
• 12:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: I won't let the fact that some people may view this as valuable and some people may not, I won't get hung up on that to the point while I allow it to discourage me,
• 13:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: and cause me to throw in the towel.
• 13:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: So if I may, I want to encourage you to do a couple of things and then I'm out of your face.
• 13:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Embrace your shortcomings and view them as learning opportunities.
• 13:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Embrace what you see yourself falling short.
• 13:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And there's some people who listen to their voice, they're oh, man, my voice, well, your voice sometimes is what it is.
• 13:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: But sometimes I listen to my podcast and I'm talking too fast.
• 13:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm stumbling over words, oh, Eugene, you may not dash your voice, but you can slow down.
• 13:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can do nothing to tweak the base of the very tone in my voice, it's there.
• 14:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: But maybe you can address talking so fast and stuttering, right, by slowing down, taking your time and having clarity of thought.
• 14:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: The second thing I want you to do, I've said this over and over again on several episodes and I say it again with autopology, limit comparison to other people.
• 14:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: People get caught up in this rat race of perfectionism because you're comparing your journey, your walk, and your life to other people stop it.
• 14:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: You owe it to yourself, to compare yourself to yourself.
• 14:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: In fact, I see it all the time, I believe in this.
• 14:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Every day you get up, you are your only competition.
• 14:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: You are trying to be better than do a get motivation, do a get ideas from other people every day, all day.
• 14:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm trying to beat the old Eugene.
• 14:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm competing with the version of myself yesterday that was lazy, that was just okay with just getting by.
• 15:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm competing with that person.
• 15:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm saying, let me get better and take the necessary steps.
• 15:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not so much that I'm chasing perfection.
• 15:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm chasing this idea and it's understanding that every day I got to get better and as I get better As I give my best, I'm okay with who that impacts, who that influences and the purpose is giving me in life Listen, I hope that you heard something today that really motivated you and got you out of it began to get you through the process
• 15:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: of getting over yourself, getting past, trying to compare yourself to other people, realizing and recognizing that you are enough, you're valuable, take ownership of your life and as you move forward, setting new goals, new expectations for the year ahead.
• 15:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: I hope you know this.
• 15:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: You will be better.
• 15:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: You will do better.
• 15:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: If each and every day you decide to go, to grow and to grow.
• 16:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't forget to hit that subscribe button.
• 16:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't forget to hit that notification button and don't forget to share this episode with others because don't be selfish.
• 16:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is the season of giving.
• 16:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: give somebody the gift of something you think of beneficial to you.
• 16:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: There will also be beneficial to other people.
• 16:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't forget also going buy, go buy, go buy my new children's book.
• 16:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Call go, grow, glow, and Eugene Hamilton.org.
• 16:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hit the tab, new children's book.
• 16:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: All the info is right there.
• 16:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Your kid needs this book, this holiday, your niche, your nephew, your neighbor.
• 16:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Wherever kids are, we want to make sure their lives are impacted by this book.
• 16:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: And they also will know that they can go, they can grow, and they can go.
• 16:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's my time.
• 16:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: You'll be great.
• 16:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Have a good rest of the week, peace.