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I Was Told to Look Unattractive at Work: From Prison to Finding My Paradise in Phuket · Babes, how did you get here

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I'm so excited for today's conversation to explore how she continues to defy cultural expectations
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and what life is truly like here in Thailand as a single woman.
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But first, I have to ask, babes, how did you get here?
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Now, that is a story.
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Okay, so I've been coming to Thailand since 2019.
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I came, I left Australia, I was leaving for good and I thought I'm going to come to
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pick out for two weeks, come to fitness street and just train.
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Fitness street, that's the name of the street.
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Well, it's called Saway Taeyi, but it's known as fitness street.
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Amazing.
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All the gyms, the Muay Thai gyms, the protein bars, strength and conditioning gyms are all
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on one street.
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Oh, I got here and I was like, oh my God, this is like an absolute dream.
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So two weeks turned into two months and then ever since then, like I went back to England,
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I've been coming back every year, apart from Covid time.
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Sure.
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And my brothers like, there's so many countries in the world, why do you keep going back
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to Puket?
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And I'm like, because it has everything I need and it's the only holiday I go on where
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I come back and I feel and I look better than I did before I left.
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So it's just such an addictive place and Puket is beautiful.
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Thai people are amazing and Puket for me now has been home since 2023.
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Okay.
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Take me back.
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You came here from Australia, but could you take me back to when you were in the UK and
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you made that first move to Australia, because that in and of itself is a big step.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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So I actually took a career break.
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So I was working, I graduated, I got my degree in psychology and I worked in the psychology
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field as a social work assistant for a while.
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I got really stressed in that job.
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I was dealing with, you know, I had to sort of deal with child protection cases and I
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felt like at the age of 21, it was too heavy for me.
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So then I decided I'm going to have a career break.
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So it was either makeup, personal training or going into the police force and I chose
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makeup randomly.
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So I was working at Mac.
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I got a job there and there was a lot of Christmas temps coming and they'd come in December
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time and they'd just been traveling to Australia.
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I'd never dreamt of going to Australia.
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It'd never been a country that appealed to me.
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And I was like, I'd love to do that, but I'm Indian and brown.
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I can't do that.
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Indian girls don't do this sort of stuff.
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Anyway, it just kept playing on my mind and one day I had a really, really frustrating
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customer and I was walking to my car and I was like, you know what, I'm going to go
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to Australia.
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And then I was like, how am I going to tell my dad that I'm going to go to Australia?
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I was petrified.
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Are you an only child?
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I've got a brother who's three years older than me, but Indian girls don't move to the
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other side of the world.
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They don't really travel.
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You know, my dad just wanted me to settle down, get married, have kids.
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I was at that age.
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So I plucked up the courage to tell him and he was like, you're not going to Australia
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unless you've got a job.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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What do I do now?
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So I stayed up every single night and called every Mac store in Sydney and Melbourne.
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So I had to wait until midnight, so the morning in Australia and I called and called
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and called every single store.
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I managed to get through to a regional director there.
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I harassed her like I was so annoying and she was like, you were the most persistent
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person I have ever met in my life.
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I'm going to give you a telephone interview.
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Okay.
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So she did that and then I had an interview with the store manager where they were looking
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for an assistant.
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Okay, babes, real talk tantrums do not look fun.
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Manager there.
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Sure.
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And I managed to get the job.
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So I went back to my dad.
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I said, I've got a job in Australia.
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So I landed on the 16th of February, 2012 from Canada and I started work the next day.
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Wow.
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So you get to Australia.
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But I appreciate that you're excited by this point because you've heard these stories
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from these temps.
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Were there any like experiences that you weren't expecting and you perhaps reconsidered
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if you should get back on a plane and go home?
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Well, to be honest, even getting on the plane, I would, I've never traveled alone.
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OK.
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I've never really went on many holidays until I was like 1819.
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Sure.
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We didn't do family holidays as children.
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OK.
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So when I was on the plane, I went from leads to London, then London to Dubai and on the
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flight from leads to London, I cried the whole time.
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Oh, gosh.
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Like the person next to me must have been like, what is wrong with this girl?
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I was like, I can get to London and I can get a train back.
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I was petrified because it was completely out of my comforts.
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And how long were you in Australia for?
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So I did three and a half years.
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OK.
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And then I went back to England for nine months.
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Yep.
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Absolutely hated it.
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OK.
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So that moved back to England.
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Yes.
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Was that to stay in your mind at that point where you like, I'm moving back home now?
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No, it wasn't.
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OK.
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No.
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So I had to go back to Germany ill.
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OK.
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So I needed to go back to support my mum through that.
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OK.
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So I went back home for the nine months and then I moved back to Australia and I was sponsored.
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OK.
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And then unfortunately I had a bit of bad luck.
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I lost my job.
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So I had to try and find another sponsor.
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Sure.
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So I was moving from sponsorship to sponsorship, but I always said I want to leave Australia
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when I'm ready.
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I never wanted to be forced out of the country.
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Yeah.
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But it got to a point where my visa was up and I had to go.
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OK.
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And then you go away.
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So then my friend told me about Pouquet because she'd been at Christmas time and she told
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me about it.
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And I was like, oh my god, I'd love to do that.
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On the way back to England because I really didn't want to go back to England at this
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point.
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I'm just going to come to Pouquet for two weeks.
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Right.
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I fell in love with the place.
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Two weeks turned into two months and then I got back to England and I was like, what
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have I done?
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Tell me when you get to Pouquet, what is it that gives you this overwhelming feeling
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of, wow, this is the place?
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It's just so beautiful.
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And when I arrived onto fitness street, I was just like, this street has everything I
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need.
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And I felt like Bondi, where I lived in Sydney, was a bit of a bubble.
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Oh, no.
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And I feel like I like my bubbles.
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And I feel like fitness street in Pouquet is like a bubble.
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Sure.
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And the Thai people are so lovely and welcoming.
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The beaches are stunning.
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You know, there's so much to do here.
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And I'm quite an outdoorsy person.
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OK.
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I'm delivering in Australia.
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I really wasn't because it was freezing.
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You know, it would be raining all the time.
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I'd be watching EastEnders and, you know, just staying in.
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But there's so much to do here.
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The beautiful beaches, the walks.
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You know, there's a lot of, you know, expats here as well, amazing Thai people as well.
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I've got loads of Thai friends here now.
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So for me, it's, it's got everything.
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You know, it's got the perfect balance of delicious food, beautiful beaches.
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You know, amazing hikes.
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All my fitness stuff is there.
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I can eat good food, good, clean food as well.
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So it was just perfect for me.
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And before you came, were you already into fitness?
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Because I know you're coming from your makeup industry
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and it was still one of the options at that time.
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You said it was either going to be makeup, fitness or the police force.
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Did you already start getting your way into that fitness space in Australia?
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In Australia, I did, yes, because I'd wake up in the morning
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and I'd go for a walk by the beach.
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And I'm like, why are these people at 6am doing boot camps on the beach?
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I'm like, what is wrong with them?
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You know, don't people sleep?
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Sure.
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And I was, I put a little bit of weight on and I was like, I don't feel very good.
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So I started training.
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I got really into exercise and living by a beach.
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You know, everyone's got amazing bodies.
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And I was a lot older than a lot of the people that were traveling Australia
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because I did it quite late on.
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You know, I was in my early 30s and you see a lot of people go and do work in holiday
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visas that are in their 20s.
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Sure.
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So I was like, I'm competing with these younger ones, right?
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I'm single.
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I need to meet a man.
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I need to work on myself.
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So I really got into training then.
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So I was working at the Australian Red Cross.
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I've done a lot of work with refugees in Australia as well.
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And then I was training at F 45, which is a group fitness class.
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Yeah.
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Now I loved it so much.
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I was like, I need to work for them.
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Okay.
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So I did my qualifications in Australia.
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I became a coach as well.
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So on the side of my sort of psychology jobs and social work jobs, I did fitness on the side
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as well.
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And you know, that's just become part of my life now.
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And now I get to sort of combine the two, which is fantastic.
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So coming here and just having a street that is just full of different gyms and different
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training.
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I was just like, this is a three hundred percent.
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And so when you go from two weeks, you're going into two months, are you at this point
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thinking, what are you going to do for work?
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Or did you already know that you were going to start your online fitness business?
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No.
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So I didn't, I had no idea.
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So I literally just trained two, three times a day.
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Okay.
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I was eating really well.
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I felt amazing.
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And then I went back to the UK and that's when I was like, right, I need to start applying
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for jobs.
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Okay.
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So I applied, applied, I sent so many applications out.
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And then one day I just, I get an offer for an interview at a male prison.
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And I was like, why the hell have I applied for a job at a male prison?
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It was near my house.
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I've known that of this prison for years, growing up as a kid.
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And I also had an interview with a charity as well.
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And I ended up getting a job at the prison and I had the choice of working at a charity.
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So I was like, in my head, do I go for the nice little charity or women, nice, chilled,
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relaxed, office vibes, you know, or do I go and work in this category, be male prison?
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And I was like, you know what?
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I'm going to go down the prison room.
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Really?
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Yeah.
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And I'm so glad I did.
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And I didn't think for an Indian dad that he'd want people to ask, what did dad see?
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Dad was fine.
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And I was like, Dad, you want me to go and work in a male prison.
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And he was fine with it.
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And honestly, it was probably one of the most interesting jobs I have ever done.
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What were you doing there?
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So I was a personal development mentor, which basically I helped prepare prisoners for
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release.
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Amazing.
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Yeah.
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You know, really struggled with relationship building and reoffending and, you know,
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housing and things like that.
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And a lot of them wanted to be in the prison because it was their safe place.
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Right.
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You know, they'd reoffend to go there because, you know, they were on the street.
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So we're taking drugs, which was really, really sad.
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Yeah.
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And I absolutely loved it.
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And then in lockdown, I was furloughed.
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So I still did a bit of fitness on the side as well.
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So on the weekends, I'd coach classes.
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And I'd do some Zoom PTs and things like that.
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But it wasn't until lockdown happened and I got furloughed from the prison.
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Sure.
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That, you know, I set up my own business.
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OK.
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Going back to the prison for one second, because I'm still kind of visualise this beautiful
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petite, look at Indian lady in this male prison and how like were you received in terms
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of within that space?
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Well, I have never had a boss say to me, you need to try and make yourself look as unattractive
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as possible.
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OK.
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So I was like, right, OK.
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So I was boring big baggy tops on my mum.
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I was just wearing leggings.
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I hardly wore any makeup.
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Sure.
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She was like, she was like in her 50s, my boss.
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And she was like, I'm in my 50s and I get hit on, right?
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So you need to sort this out.
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And I was like, OK.
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So no eyeliner.
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I go in there looking like a screw.
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And the funniest thing is one of the prisoners said to me once, he was like, you dress really
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mumsy.
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And I was like, well, that's because I'm wearing my mum's clothes.
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I think I'm going to come here in my best outfits.
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And yeah, no, it was great.
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Obviously, there was, you know, there was a bit of tension here and there.
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But, you know, and the fear in me sometimes, I'd be opening the door to get onto the wings
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and the prisoners I've aside and I'd be like, right, don't act like you're scared.
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Right.
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Inside, I am.
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Shooting it.
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Absolutely breaking it.
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And I'm like, so I'm walking through like I own the place.
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OK.
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So one of them even said to me, he goes, Miss, you walk around here like you own the
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joint.
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I'm thinking if you only knew how I was feeling inside, how long were you there?
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I was there for about 10 months.
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OK.
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So a good stretch.
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Yeah.
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And that's when Covid hit.
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Yeah.
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OK.
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So Covid happens.
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You're a furloughed and then you're strategically planning to move back to Buket at this
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point.
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No, I wasn't even thinking of coming to Buket.
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So I was furloughed and then I was made redundant.
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OK.
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So during lockdown, I decided to do free Instagram live workouts.
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OK.
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And then Monday to Saturday, every single day.
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And they became so popular, I had loads of people that were working out, people are just
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joining.
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Yeah.
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So I can't see them.
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Right.
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I'm jumping around my attic.
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And I've got my little niece who's joining in with me.
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So I do the workouts, but people were doing them.
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So it became really popular, so I carried on doing that.
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And then when we were allowed to go outside, I said, does anyone want to do any outdoor
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PT?
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Right.
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And I was doing about 40 PT's a week outside.
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Yeah.
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I had so much interest.
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I was doing Zoom PT's.
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I'm moving.
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And then I was doing a little bit of online coaching at the time.
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Right.
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And then when we could fly, I came straight back to Buket and I was like, I need to come
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back.
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So I did another stint here.
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Sure.
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This conversation, you've mentioned quite a lot about family.
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It's clearly very important to you.
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You've mentioned quite a lot about being Indian and what that means.
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Can you explain for people who perhaps don't understand what the context of growing up
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in an Indian culture means in terms of moving and living abroad or being a single woman
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abroad by herself?
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Absolutely.
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Yes.
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This is a long one.
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Okay.
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There's a lot to talk about here.
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So I'm Sikh.
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I'm Indian.
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And, you know, as an Indian girl, you know, we're brought up and we kind of have like a set
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plan in life that we should follow in our culture.
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So it's very much like your parents that have their kids.
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You have to send them to university.
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They need to have a degree.
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Once they've finished their degree, you get them married and then the parents can kind
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of relax.
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Sure.
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So once the kids are married, you've done your job.
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Now it's time for you to relax.
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So obviously that didn't happen for me, you know, I didn't meet the right person.
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And a lot of people in my culture, South Asians, you know, they don't move to the other side
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of the world.
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They do that much traveling one because, you know, parents don't allow it regardless
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of what age you are.
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And two, it's because, you know, a bit like me, scared and nervous and not ever done
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any.
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They've never done anything like that before.
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So, you know, I always feel and I always call myself the black sheep of the family.
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I've kind of gone against the stereotypical norm of a Sikh Punjabi girl, okay?
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So I'm, you know, I'm 42 now, I'm not married, I don't have any kids, I don't own a house.
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Yes, these are all things that I would absolutely love, like I really want children, I'd love
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to settle down, you know, I want to buy a house, I want to get on the property ladder, but
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it hasn't happened for me yet.
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So, you know, what I really want to get across and what I try to get across on my social
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media is, you know, that, you know, everyone's path is different.
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And, you know, times are changing now.
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And I just want more South Asian women, you know, obviously being a South Asian background
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and all my clients are South Asian.
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I want them to take risks and move to other countries and live their life and experience
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what I've experienced because if I had followed the path that my family wanted me to follow,
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I'd be married now with two, three, four kids living in the house and that was going to
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be my question, right?
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So, if at those points where you went back to England and perhaps you had found the
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person that you felt was the right person and had the family and settle down, then it
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would have been at the expense of this other life that you have lived.
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And what do you think that this version of Katie has gained where she might have lost
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out on if she had gone the traditional route?
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So, I'm not 100 percent, sorry, I'm not against the traditional route, like if that would
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have happened for me, then fine, if I, you know, I would have met a really nice Indian
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man and I'd be happy and I had kids, then I'd be fine with that.
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But I was in a relationship for quite a few years and that was my first ever relationship
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and I was like, right, that's it, I need to do something for me now, I spent 11 years
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in that relationship.
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Okay, yeah, so it was a big chunk of my life and I said to myself, I don't want to get
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to 40 and regret not doing anything in my life.
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So that's when I was like, right, I need to go to Australia, I need to experience life,
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I want to do things and so, you know, that's why I moved away initially, I sometimes wish
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that I'd, you know, never experience that life because I've seen so much now and I've
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experienced so much, I'm not going to settle for that life back at home and just doing
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the stereotypical things because I'm like, there's so much out there, there's so many
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beautiful places and don't get me wrong if I had someone to share it with.
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Sure.
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But the moment I don't and I'm happy and I'm comfortable and I'm confident enough to
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do it alone.
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Like I love solo travel, sure, I love going away and being on my own, you know, and
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going to coffee shops and I think that's made a little, made it a little bit harder for
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me to actually settle down and meet someone because I'm so independent.
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Yeah.
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Do you think that you'd live anywhere else in Thailand?
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I'm not too sure actually, I've been to Bangkok a few times recently.
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I do like it.
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I like the, I like beaches though, I like being by the ocean, you know, so I want to be
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by the ocean and, you know, when I was in England, I was considering moving to London
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and I like just a big city, Bangkok's just a big city.
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So for me, I really like Puket, you know, I've been to Krabby recently, it was a bit
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quiet for me, coast movie, I did go in 2014, but long time ago, sure.
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So when I come back from the UK, I'm going to do a little bit of travelling a bit more
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around Thailand and see if I want to base myself somewhere else here or even maybe a different
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country.
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Like I've got a friend that lives in Vietnam and the first time I went to Vietnam, you
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know, I absolutely loved it.
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People say where's the best country you've ever been to?
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And I always say to them, Vietnam, yeah, and when people ask me why and I'm like, it's
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really hard to explain, it's a people, the culture, the, you know, it's just so beautiful.
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So I need to sort of travel around a little bit.
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Sure.
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Because I said I wanted to do 40 countries by 40, I think I'm on 28.
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So we've got some travelling to do, so I need to 50 countries by 50 now, so I've got
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a lot to do.
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That's amazing.
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And is there anything or at any point since you've been here in Puket that you reconsidered
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whether you had made the right decision to move?
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No, to be honest, I think it's been one of the best decisions that I've ever made.
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Like I love Australia, but it's still a little bit too far away from home.
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I know Puket is still quite far as well, but seeing how productive I am work wise here
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and then how happy I am here as well.
19:32
And my parents came out to visit in 2024 and they came out this year as well.
19:37
And I was so nervous about them coming because they'd all, you know, my dad's always
19:41
been, you know, when are you coming home?
19:43
When are you coming home?
19:44
Sure.
19:45
And when my dad came in 2024, I was like, oh my God, he's going to hate it.
19:47
He's going to be like, this is like India, but worse, there's no pavements, it's dirty,
19:52
it's this and the other.
19:53
They had a great time.
19:55
And for the first time in my life, I felt like it was acceptance of me living away.
20:01
Okay.
20:02
When I did that for you.
20:04
Honestly, it was great.
20:05
Like the Thai people would be like, mama, papa, they were giving them like mango sticky
20:10
rice.
20:11
They treated them so much respect and there was so lovely to them.
20:14
And my dad saw that I was safe here because I think for, you know, of dads, with their
20:20
daughters living at the other side of the world, they're always going to worry.
20:23
Parents were always going to worry, but he saw how safe Thailand was because people always
20:28
ask me as well on social media, TikTok and Instagram is Thailand safe.
20:32
Okay.
20:33
You know, I'll be walking our fitness street at 11 o'clock at night after I've had a massage
20:36
and it's completely safe.
20:37
Sure.
20:38
When my dad actually went back to England, my mum and dad in 2024, that's when they
20:43
introduced the DTV visa in Thailand.
20:46
Okay.
20:47
Which is a digital nomad visa.
20:48
And he actually sent me the link for the visa on WhatsApp.
20:52
And I almost cried because I was like, for me, that was the first time that, you know,
20:58
the acceptance was there.
20:59
I feel goosebumps myself.
21:00
Yeah.
21:01
Yeah.
21:02
Because in Australia, you know, a lot of my friends were white, okay?
21:05
And their parents would say, live your life, you know, enjoy yourself.
21:10
I'd be scared of ringing home and speaking to my mum and she'd be like, do you want to
21:14
speak to your dad?
21:15
I'd be scared because he'd be like, when you come in home and I'd be like, she's got
21:17
to answer this question, you know, and I always said to my friends, I'd be like, my parents
21:22
would rather me be at home and miserable than at the other side of the world and happy.
21:28
Yeah.
21:29
And I remember having the conversation with my dad when I did go home to visit from Australia
21:32
and he said, you've got no family there.
21:34
How can you be happy?
21:35
Sure.
21:36
He didn't understand it.
21:37
But that's because, you know, he's an old, an old Indian dad, you know, and he couldn't
21:44
understand why you'd ever be happy living that far away from your family.
21:49
Do you think a part of him was taking it personally?
21:51
I think so, yeah.
21:52
But the funny thing is about my dad is so he was born and brought up in India and he
21:58
left to go and work in the Middle East as a mechanic.
22:02
Sure.
22:03
His parents didn't want him to go.
22:04
Sure.
22:05
I'd be like, say, do you know how to tie him?
22:06
I've had to bite my tongue and say, you've done exactly the same thing.
22:09
Sure.
22:10
But I don't want to be disrespectful to my dad.
22:12
Of course.
22:13
But I'm like, you have done what I have done, but it's different because I'm a female
22:17
and I'm your daughter.
22:18
I'm 100%.
22:19
So he's done it.
22:20
It's such a beautiful thing that he sent you the link.
22:22
Honestly, it was great.
22:23
Yeah.
22:24
And also it's a beautiful way of communicating so much without having to say, like, sometimes
22:28
we talk too much and we can overspeak and these small actions get to say everything that
22:34
needs to be said.
22:35
And I think I'd always felt guilty for living away, even when I live in Australia, even
22:39
when I live in Thailand, there was always that guilt inside of me, specifically to your
22:43
dad or just in general.
22:44
To my dad.
22:45
Yeah.
22:46
Because he wants me to settle down.
22:48
He wants me to get married.
22:49
Sure.
22:50
And my brother's even said to me as well.
22:51
He said, you know, dad can't relax until you're married.
22:55
It puts a lot of pressure on you.
22:56
Yeah.
22:58
I have respect my culture, respect my family and I don't want to be a disappointment.
23:03
Sure.
23:04
I just want to live my life.
23:05
Be happy, you know.
23:06
Yeah.
23:07
I miss them a lot.
23:08
I speak to my mum every day.
23:09
And you know, sometimes I get mad about mum.
23:11
I'm like, why aren't you calling me for two days?
23:13
She's like, oh, well, I've watched your social media Instagram stories.
23:16
I've seen you're okay.
23:17
I'm like, you were getting blocked.
23:18
Sure.
23:19
Yeah.
23:20
Why don't you call me and see if I'm all right.
23:21
Oh, gosh.
23:22
Oh, that's amazing.
23:23
That's amazing.
23:24
It's amazing that it feels that it allowed you even more space to breathe and a little bit
23:29
of weight.
23:30
Yeah.
23:31
Absolutely.
23:32
Gone.
23:33
Yeah.
23:34
Is there anything that we haven't touched on that you would want someone who is considering
23:37
not necessarily moving to Thailand, but considering a big change in their life that you would
23:42
want them to know based off of your own experiences?
23:45
I think, you know, life is about taking risks.
23:48
It's about stepping out of your comfort zone.
23:50
You don't want to get to 60 or 70 years old and regret not doing things and whatever cultural
23:56
background you're from, you know, you'll always feel like you're disappointing, right?
24:02
You will.
24:03
This is a culture we're born and brought up in, but you know, times are slowly changing
24:07
now, like it'll be a lot more different from my niece, for example.
24:11
But if you're at an age where you just like, I wish I could do this because I was very
24:14
much like that.
24:15
I wish I could travel, but I'm brown.
24:17
I wish I could do this, but I'm Indian, Indian girls don't do this sort of thing, right?
24:22
I just want people to know that regardless of what ethnicity you are, cultural background,
24:28
you know, anything is possible.
24:30
You just got to take that risk.
24:32
You've got to, we live one life and, you know, it's just very cliché to say that.
24:37
And you don't want to get to, you know, in your 90s and look back on life and go, I
24:42
should have done this or have any regrets in life.
24:45
Because now, touch wood, I'm happy I've done all these things.
24:49
And you know, if I get to 50, 67, 8, don't get me wrong, there's so much more I want
24:53
to do.
24:54
You know, I want to have kids.
24:55
I want to do what you're doing, you know, have your daughters and travel and do things
24:59
and experience great things with your children.