Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / The top 5 INSECURITIES of a Narcissist

Transcript

The top 5 INSECURITIES of a Narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful folks?
• 0:01
  Today we're going to be talking about the top five insecurities
• 0:06
  of a narcissistic person. Top five, my list, my rules.
• 0:11
  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
• 0:13
  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and we'll go to another episode of
• 0:16
  The Narcissist Code. Bam, welcome back, welcome back.
• 0:36
  I said welcome back, welcome back folks, welcome back,
• 0:38
  welcome back. Yes, yes, yes.
• 0:40
  The top five insecurities of a narcissistic person.
• 0:43
  Before we hop into today's episode, y'all have to let you
• 0:45
  know we're doing a live webinar event live a little mini
• 0:49
  workshop over Zoom on November the 26th from 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM
• 0:52
  Eastern Standard Time about surviving the holidays with a
• 0:55
  narcissist or a toxic person. You can find more information
• 0:58
  for that at mentalillness.net/events.
• 1:02
  Get registered for that. Check it out.
• 1:04
  See y'all there about surviving holidays with a narcissist.
• 1:06
  But yes, yeah, hopping back into today's topic and whatnot, the
• 1:10
  top five and these y'all, these are my insecurities.
• 1:13
  These are my the mindset of I'm a diagnosed narcissist and these
• 1:16
  are the insecurities that I thought about that I came up
• 1:19
  with and whatnot about how narcissistic people operate, how
• 1:22
  we like the the insecurities because narcissism is a shame
• 1:26
  based disorder. And but it's a shame comes for
• 1:28
  that their insecurities, our insecurities.
• 1:31
  So I'm going to go over the top five right here for you right
• 1:35
  now. And this is in no particular
• 1:39
  order. Y'all and I look, if you have
• 1:41
  any of these insecurities, it does not mean that you, you,
• 1:45
  you, you are a narcissist. I know people are just only I
• 1:47
  have the insecurity. Am I?
• 1:48
  No, no, no, no, I'm talking to the mic.
• 1:52
  No, does not mean that you're a narcissist because you have any
• 1:56
  or maybe all of these insecurities.
• 1:58
  Maybe a part of the insecurities are you?
• 2:01
  It would not, but yes, y'all OK #1 again, in no order their
• 2:06
  looks, their looks narcissistic people.
• 2:10
  Not, not, not every single narcissist is is consume what
• 2:14
  how we look like. That's not we're not consumed
• 2:18
  with that. And that's part of my part of me
• 2:21
  trying to get over the insecurities of how I look or
• 2:23
  how I think I look. It's somehow sometimes letting
• 2:26
  myself get disheveled, having having a disheveled appearance,
• 2:29
  like my hair right now is not good.
• 2:32
  But in the next couple of videos, you're going to see my
• 2:34
  hair get done. It's going to be fresh and I'm
• 2:36
  I'm going to be up here dancing like this.
• 2:37
  You'll see me dancing. I'm going to be swag surfing my
• 2:40
  next video because my hair going to be dead.
• 2:41
  But a lot of narcissists are insecure about how they're look,
• 2:44
  how they look, how we look, you know, body dysmorphia.
• 2:48
  We, we, we will never see ourselves the way other people
• 2:52
  see us. And that's extremely, that's an
• 2:54
  extremely frustrating thing. Even the good stuff.
• 2:57
  Did you see in us how we look, how he might, how we might act
• 3:00
  and behave, whatever. We don't see it that way.
• 3:03
  There's for me, there's always something to work on.
• 3:05
  Like right now, I've been on a fitness journey for a while now,
• 3:09
  right? And I've been working them out a
• 3:10
  lot. Like my arm.
• 3:11
  I'm like, OK, I'm getting a little fit, little curls, but
• 3:14
  then I start focusing on my stomach and that'll destroy my
• 3:18
  whole day, right? Maybe I want to eat, maybe not
• 3:21
  want to do anything else. Going down, focus on my stomach,
• 3:23
  how I look, how I present myself and things of that nature.
• 3:25
  Like our head hurts, stuff like that.
• 3:28
  It really can destroy you, y'all.
• 3:29
  This type of stuff really can get into your mind really can do
• 3:32
  a number on your your mind and whatnot.
• 3:35
  So a lot of narcissists are super insecure about how they
• 3:37
  look. That's why they focus on their
• 3:38
  looks. That's why narcissistic women
• 3:40
  takes them forever to get ready and they still don't think
• 3:42
  they're they they they don't think that they're ready.
• 3:44
  That's why a lot of narcissists get supply from their
• 3:49
  appearance. How I look.
• 3:51
  I need people to, you see, you see what I'm saying, how I look,
• 3:54
  how I present myself. I need people to see me a
• 3:56
  certain type of way. I need people, I need to be
• 3:58
  presented in a certain type of way and whatnot, right?
• 4:00
  So I need that. I need people to look at me and
• 4:03
  I need to stand out and I don't need to, you know, I need to get
• 4:06
  some supply for my looks and whatnot.
• 4:08
  That's how narcissistic people think.
• 4:09
  They're super insecure about how they look.
• 4:11
  And if people don't compliment them or if somebody gives them
• 4:13
  too many compliments, they don't even believe the compliments
• 4:15
  they get. Like somebody giving them a
• 4:17
  compliment like, oh, you look, I love your hair.
• 4:19
  Like, oh, really? Thanks.
• 4:22
  They're just saying it to be nice.
• 4:22
  My hair is horrible, my face is horrible, my teeth are horrible.
• 4:26
  My stomach is horrible, my arms are horrible, my shoulders are
• 4:28
  horrible. My, you know, my eyes are
• 4:30
  horrible. Whatever it is, they're super
• 4:31
  insecure about that look. Job.
• 4:34
  The second one I got on here. Finances.
• 4:38
  Narcissistic people are super insecure about our finances,
• 4:42
  about money, The pursuit of money out, the pursuit of money,
• 4:46
  ambition, fulfillment they like. That's why a lot of times you
• 4:50
  see a lot of narcissists that just try to get a lot of money
• 4:53
  because we think money is attached to happiness and we
• 4:56
  know that money can give you access to things that can make
• 4:59
  you happy, but it doesn't. It doesn't necessarily make you
• 5:01
  happy on its own. Like having a bunch of money.
• 5:04
  If I had a bunch of money in this room right now laying in
• 5:06
  it, what the hell can I do with it?
• 5:07
  You know what I'm saying? If I'm not spending it or giving
• 5:09
  it away, what the hell I'm doing?
• 5:11
  I'm just sitting here hoarding it like I'm a hoarder, but I'm
• 5:13
  hoarding money. A lot of narcissists don't think
• 5:15
  they make enough money. A lot of narcissists fret and
• 5:18
  over are insecure about their money and whatnot.
• 5:20
  That's why when you see a a narcissist that goes from broke
• 5:24
  to rich in a very short period of time, like a narcissistic
• 5:27
  athlete that doesn't have anything that you don't, you
• 5:30
  don't hear anything about. But soon as they get their first
• 5:31
  big contract, they lose their damn minds.
• 5:33
  Like Antonio Brown has lost his damn mind you what I'm saying.
• 5:37
  He probably already has subtle signs of narcissism, but when he
• 5:41
  got that money, it made him more of who he was.
• 5:43
  Money don't make you bad. Money doesn't make you bad.
• 5:45
  It doesn't make you good. Money just makes you more of who
• 5:47
  you are. So money a lot of times
• 5:49
  amplifies the narcissism. So you get a lot of narcissists
• 5:52
  who get super insecure about their finances.
• 5:54
  Like I don't make enough money. And when they get insecure about
• 5:56
  their finances, they take it out on their friends, they take it
• 5:59
  out on their family members, they take it out on everybody
• 6:01
  around them, around us. You see what I'm saying?
• 6:03
  Everybody gets the worst version of a narcissist when they're not
• 6:06
  happy with the amount of money that they have.
• 6:07
  Even if they are rich, you can get a rich famous narcissist
• 6:12
  that is still insecure about their money because there's
• 6:15
  always somebody with more money. Unless you're like, who this is
• 6:18
  the richest person in the world now, unless you are Eli Musk,
• 6:22
  there's still a lot of you know what I'm saying?
• 6:24
  And he got some, he got his own insecurity.
• 6:26
  Even though he's the richest man in the world, he's still super
• 6:28
  insecure about a lot of stuff he has going on.
• 6:30
  Everybody has insecurity job. But like you see the type of
• 6:32
  stuff like there are a lot of narcissists that are insecure
• 6:34
  about their finances, about their money.
• 6:36
  Even if they have a lot of money, they don't think they
• 6:38
  have enough. They think they're always
• 6:40
  comparing and contrasting themselves and their finances
• 6:42
  and somebody else. The next one I have on here is
• 6:45
  their reputation. Narcissistic people are super
• 6:50
  insecure about their reputation. Like do I heard a saying one
• 6:55
  time before y'all I said your reputation.
• 6:59
  Your reputation precedes you, make sure it's worth following.
• 7:03
  That's why you see a lot of narcissistic people that are
• 7:06
  just super obsessed with trying to have a good reputation, even
• 7:10
  if they are horrible people behind the scenes, even if
• 7:13
  they're being God awful to every single person that they've ever
• 7:16
  encountered. This is how they're going to set
• 7:19
  it up as right here. This is the type of stuff that
• 7:21
  they will absolutely do. This is like like they will
• 7:24
  still show you exactly how horrible a person that they are
• 7:29
  in this situation, in these, in these, in these spaces and
• 7:31
  whatnot. They will still show you the,
• 7:35
  you know what I mean, their reputation.
• 7:37
  Like that's why they, they are so super insecure about and
• 7:40
  super afraid to get exposed. That's why they don't want you
• 7:43
  talking about what you, what's going on behind closed doors.
• 7:45
  That's what they want the kids to shut the hell up and don't
• 7:48
  tell anybody about what their parent is doing to them.
• 7:50
  But what's going on behind closed doors and who their
• 7:52
  parent, the narcissistic parent really is.
• 7:55
  That's why they don't want anybody to know.
• 7:56
  They want everybody to shut the hell up and keep their mouth
• 7:58
  shut and they keep things in the house.
• 8:00
  Let's handle this as a family. That's don't, don't talk to
• 8:02
  anybody else about this. They don't want anybody else
• 8:04
  knowing about how truly abusive and repugnant they are behind
• 8:09
  the scenes. So that's one of the big that's
• 8:11
  one of the major keys that happens to so many people when
• 8:13
  you're dealing with an abusive narcissistic person.
• 8:15
  You know, it just it, this is one of the things that a lot of
• 8:17
  people are going to experience when you're dealing with an
• 8:20
  abuser. It really, really is.
• 8:21
  They're so super insecure about their reputation being exposed
• 8:25
  that they will lose their damn minds.
• 8:26
  They will lose their ever loving, lasting minds.
• 8:28
  And we will take it out on everybody else.
• 8:30
  You know, they absolutely will. So the next one I have on here
• 8:35
  y'all the the 4th 1:00 is their upbringing.
• 8:39
  I know this one is going to sound weird but a lot of
• 8:42
  narcissists are super insecure about their upbringing.
• 8:48
  They don't want anybody to know the true story about how they
• 8:52
  were raised about their parents, their parents, their lack of
• 8:55
  resources when they were growing up.
• 8:57
  You know, their their buck teeth or their bow legs or their
• 9:00
  chubby face or their chubby stomach or their thick, you
• 9:03
  know, that thick ass, that big ass bulbous head that they had.
• 9:07
  They don't want anybody to know who they really are behind the
• 9:11
  scenes. I mean like who they are
• 9:12
  whenever growing up, they try, that's why you get a lot of
• 9:14
  narcissist. They try to move far away from
• 9:17
  home because they don't want any of they can recreate their
• 9:19
  upbringing story. They can recreate It's got like
• 9:21
  they recreate their origin story, right?
• 9:24
  They try to recreate their origin story about who they
• 9:27
  actually are and what they actually have going on, right?
• 9:29
  That's the type of stuff that starts happening.
• 9:31
  You get a lot of narcissist that are insecure about how they were
• 9:34
  raised and that insecurity right there about how they were raised
• 9:37
  can make them jealous of how you were raised.
• 9:40
  They can make them jealous of how you have the things that you
• 9:42
  have going on, the things that you've experienced.
• 9:44
  That type of stuff right there can absolutely happen.
• 9:47
  Like narcissistic people can become jealous of how you were
• 9:50
  raised because they didn't have the same opportunities or
• 9:52
  whatnot, Their upbringings were different and whatnot.
• 9:56
  That's absolutely can happen. Like there are a lot of
• 9:58
  narcissists, they hate their parents because they just get
• 10:01
  super insecure about the upbringing.
• 10:03
  So they hate their parents. They try to disavow something.
• 10:05
  Sometimes narcissists grow up and yeah, if they might have
• 10:08
  grew up in an abusive household themselves and they hate their
• 10:10
  parents and they just got no contact with their parents.
• 10:12
  They never, they grow up, move out and never talk to their
• 10:13
  parents again. I've heard those stories before
• 10:16
  that happens. Like they hate their parents.
• 10:18
  Like a lot of narcissists are insecure about their upbringing
• 10:20
  because they could have had they themselves could not only could
• 10:23
  have had a financially, financially neglectful
• 10:26
  upbringing, they could also have a just a upbringing, an abusive
• 10:32
  upbringing as well. Their parents could have been
• 10:33
  extremely abusive towards them and treated them horribly and
• 10:36
  starve them or whatever it is. Beat the asses, whatever it may
• 10:38
  be. They can be extremely, extremely
• 10:41
  disconnected from how they were raised and what now.
• 10:43
  They can be. There's a lot of truth to that
• 10:45
  right there. Y'all Like they can be super
• 10:47
  insecure about their upbringing. That's why they don't want to
• 10:49
  talk to you about their childhood.
• 10:50
  Tell me about your childhood. No, that's why they don't, they
• 10:53
  don't want to go to therapy because they're insecure about
• 10:55
  revealing what has actually happened in their childhood, how
• 10:57
  they were actually raised and what it actually they went
• 10:59
  through and whatnot. So that's something to consider
• 11:01
  as well, y'all. And the last one there are more.
• 11:04
  Y'all, if you think it's more insecurities than your
• 11:06
  narcissistic partner has or food insecurity, whatever it is, drop
• 11:10
  it in the comment section and whatnot, y'all.
• 11:13
  All insecurities are welcome here.
• 11:15
  The last one I have right here is their identity.
• 11:20
  They're super insecure. I am super insecure about who I
• 11:24
  really am, about my lack of a true authentic identity, which
• 11:29
  is why you see a lot of narcissists that take on the
• 11:32
  personality characteristics and traits of other people around
• 11:35
  them because they're extremely insecure about their identity.
• 11:37
  Like a lot of them hate who they are.
• 11:40
  I hated who I was for a long time.
• 11:42
  I still, I still struggle with it now, right?
• 11:45
  That's one of my biggest struggles right now is my
• 11:47
  identity, right? It really, really is.
• 11:50
  One of my biggest struggles right now is absolutely my
• 11:53
  identity. It just is.
• 11:54
  It's one of those things that messes with me.
• 11:57
  Like who The Who the hell am I really like?
• 11:59
  Am I this person? Am I that person?
• 12:01
  Why get why? Why do I think this way?
• 12:03
  My upbringing that that kind of ties into the last one, the
• 12:05
  previous one, right? It kind of ties into the
• 12:09
  previous one as well about narcissists and their
• 12:11
  insecurities and whatnot. This happens, y'all.
• 12:14
  This is part, this is part. Like they can be super insecure
• 12:16
  about their identity, which is why tell me, tell me what you
• 12:19
  like, tell what you dislike. You ask them that question.
• 12:21
  They don't they they try to reflect back to you, Tell me
• 12:24
  what you like and dislike. You know what I'm saying?
• 12:26
  They try to mirror your likes and dislike.
• 12:28
  This is why narcissists mirror you because they're insecure
• 12:30
  about who they actually are. They're they hate who they
• 12:32
  actually are. They're afraid of being who they
• 12:34
  actually are. So they mirror you.
• 12:36
  They model your behaviors as opposed to just mirroring it.
• 12:39
  They just take, they take the personality characteristics from
• 12:41
  you and try to make themselves the best version of themselves.
• 12:44
  This happens quite a bit, y'all. It really does happen quite a
• 12:46
  bit. So I would say this as well.
• 12:50
  Oh my goodness, I would say this as well.
• 12:51
  Yeah, I do have to get ready to hop off this thing.
• 12:57
  I appreciate everybody for tuning in.
• 12:58
  Like I said, sign up for the workshop or whatever you have.
• 13:00
  Any other insecurities that you can think of, drop it in the
• 13:03
  comment section. I don't want these videos to run
• 13:04
  on too long, y'all. Mental illness.net/events for
• 13:07
  the Dark Season Holiday workshop and whatnot.
• 13:09
  Y'all, it's online. Everybody gets a copy of it when
• 13:12
  she register, when that as well after it's finished.
• 13:14
  Be safe, take care of yourself, and as always y'all, as always,
• 13:17
  mental illness is out. Peace.
• 13:19
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 13:21
  I am extremely grateful for you. Have no idea.
• 13:24
  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 13:26
  to the channel helps reach more people and click on the screen
• 13:28
  to watch another video or to browse through another playlist.
• 13:31
  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 13:33
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
• 13:35
  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
• 13:37
  I will see you in the next video.
• 13:39
  Peace.