Latest / Divas That Care Network / Confidence, Clarity & Getting Unstuck

Transcript

Confidence, Clarity & Getting Unstuck · Divas That Care Network

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It's Divas that Care Radio Stories, strategies and ideas to inspire positive change.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Divas that Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: This is a global movement for women, by women engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: To find out more about the movement, visit divasthatcarecom.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: After the show.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Right now, though, stay tuned for another jolt of inspiration.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: One just has to pick up a magazine or turn on a television to see that, as women, we are bombarded daily with media images of female physical perfection, setting up the most unrealistic of expectations as to how we should look.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: No wonder female body confidence is falling while incidents of eating disorders are on the rise.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: What's most alarming is the way this affects young girls.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: A reduced sense of self-worth can create anxiety, stress, even depression, causing relationship issues, while potentially impairing academic and job performance.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: In direct contrast, confidence in Bloom is designed to reinforce the truth and reassure every woman who has ever felt inadequate, unworthy or tossed aside because of how she looks, that no matter her age, shape or background, you matter.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: You are enough.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: Now I, tina Spoletini, a woman of substance, insist women deserve to be happy, confident, successful and totally in love with themselves in their own bodies, just the way they are.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: Through an ongoing series of intriguing conversations with women from all walks of life, who are all extraordinary in their own right, we will embark upon a journey of ultimate self-acceptance and empowerment.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: Together, we'll share stories, laugh, learn, maybe even shed a few tears when it becomes clear just how far many women have come to realize how wonderful life is when you stand in your own power, feeling fantastic in your own skin.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: Jenny LaRue is my guest today.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Meet Jenny, who turns confidence building into a no-nonsense adventure for grown-ups and fun-filled expedition for kids when she's not busy being a secret superhero, her superhero boosting confidence with just a smile.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: She's a confidence coach and sometimes referred to as the confidence cheerleader by those who know her best.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: With a knack for turning everyday moments into confidence-boosting lessons, jenny knows how to sprinkle a dash of positivity here and a pinch of perseverance there.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: She's here to share her lighthearted yet impactful approach to empowering women and nurturing confident kids.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: Armed with anecdotes, wisdom and maybe a magic wand or two, please welcome the fabulous and fun Jenny LaRue.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: So how are you?
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: I'm wonderful.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: How are you, tina?
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: I'm doing very well, thank you.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: You are a confidence cheerleader.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: I would like to know how you became this confidence cheerleader and who you cheerlead Perfect.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I love raising confidence.
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: Everything is about confidence.
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: I started, probably when my children were small, just to gain more confidence and making sure that I'm well and whole in my own self-assurance, and so I could pass that on to my children.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: So I think that's probably when it really really hit me for me to, kind of, you know, start to think about that, and so, yeah, that's when I started to to pretend, not pretend to really want to raise confidence in people and I think that it's a really great skill to learn.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: It's not something we're born with.
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: Maybe some people think that maybe we are, maybe we're not, but for sure it's a skill to learn.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: So absolutely, I do agree, and I think we're all born with a certain amount of confidence, but it's like a muscle, like every other muscle that we have, where you have to build it you know it gets broken or it gets damaged and it's up to us to rebuild it.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: You know, give it that regrowth and I'm sure you know this because I mean you work in a school, you see, with all the kids as confidence grows, it becomes different, right.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: Like it becomes wow, like you weren't the kid you were five years ago or whatever, like.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: Whatever, the story is right like, whatever the story is right.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: Definitely and I think that's my favorite part of being a preschool teacher was that I was their first experience at school.
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: We had a whole year to really give them that confidence, for them to to learn the skills that they need to go into into kindergarten.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: So it was really important for me to be confident myself in my abilities, especially at work, in my personal life as well, so that I could pass that on just like a ripple effect.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: If you're confident, then you pass that on to your children and then they pass it on to their friends at school and it just keeps going just like a positive thing.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: So yeah, it's great, yeah, that's wonderful.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: So you work with both kids and adults.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: Am I right, correct?
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: So I've worked quite a few.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: I've worked 22 years with children in early childhood and in those years I've also done youth work with the youth, especially girls.
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: I think girls are very vulnerable to low self-esteem and low confidence.
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: So I had started some girls workshops and built their confidence through skills.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: Giving them skills, giving them some ways of thinking, positive thoughts, all those kinds of things that are really, really important in life when you're growing up and maybe not have those skills.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: So wow, after I've decided to branch out a little bit more into the adult world as well, where I am raising, helping entrepreneurs to raise confidence in themselves.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: So, wow, a really great adventure?
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I bet it would be, and I, and I'm sure I mean it's different, right, and all three of those groups you're you're dealing with different characteristics and traits.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: I'm wondering how, like what?
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: How does your approach differ from each group?
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: you have to adapt, like the teachings in the program for age appropriate, so with the parents and the children say zero to five.
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: It's a lot of like games.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: You know you want to make it fun for them.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: So when you're playing a game, just say the mirror game, we can do that one because it applies to all.
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: You start with just having them look at themselves in the mirror and just saying some really fun stuff about themselves.
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: It could be funny like oh, look at my cute nose, right, you make it really fun.
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: Look how luscious my hair is in my cute nose, right, you make it really fun, Look how luscious my hair is.
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: And then you can, you know, add vocabulary to the words that you're using with them.
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: And as teenagers it gets a little bit different, because teenagers can be a little bit more stubborn, they're more into their head.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: The emotions and the hormones are all in there, so that becomes a little bit different.
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: They might not appreciate you being in front of the mirror with them to have fun in the mirror.
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: So then you give them different skills.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: And I know that when my boys because boys as well can suffer from low self-esteem, I would write little messages or questions on the mirror no-transcript many other different aspects.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: There's imposter syndrome, there's your perfectionism.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: I know as women, we, our bodies, are changing, especially if you've had children.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: So those are or menopause, those are aspects of our lives that are happening and we really have to get into the mindset that we have to accept this change that's happening for us and I think it's important that when we do our mirror technique as adults and as women that, like, we have the knowledge to really just say stop, stop talking negative about myself and just be happy and positive, especially if you have girls.
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: You don't want to show them that you're standing on this scale every morning and they're watching.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: You know can happen through social media or what society has created for us which could be negative.
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: So we have to be stronger than that.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's not always easy, right, which would be why you're coaching women through that.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I relate with that.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: What's an everyday moment that most people overlook, that you love turning into a confidence boosting lesson?
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: An everyday moment, just the routine of the morning, when you get up in the morning.
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: That's so important.
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: On how you get up in the morning, are you thinking of what you lack or areas of your life where you don't have confidence?
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: And maybe that's what you wake up with and it's okay to do that.
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: It's fine, do that, it's fine.
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: We'll just look into that a little bit more and see what areas.
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: Is it parenting?
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: Is it maybe a lack at work?
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: Is it you wanting to get into a new relationship?
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: And you need a little bit more confidence in that.
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: So, once you start your day, we'll make sure that you have a really good routine, because I believe the first 15 minutes is so important.
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: It'll like determine your whole day and 15 minutes as well.
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: Like, what are you thinking about when you go to bed?
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: I know, for me, confidence is putting my pee-proof underwear before I go to a comedy club, like that is, yeah, I need to need e-proof underwear because I know that I will drip.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: That's, that's.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: I mean it's not funny, but it's funny, I know it's reality.
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: We'll just call it reality.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I just yeah.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: You're right Now.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: Can you share a time when just a smile made a big difference for someone?
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: Oh for sure I know that.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: You know, sometimes we don't know like in my line of work at school, I don't know what goes on at home for these children, but I know that I'm there for them and so I'm a smiley person.
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: I love when people smile.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: I love to see people's teeth.
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: I'm big on teeth, but a smile can make you know someone's day and you don't know what they're going through.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: So I encourage everybody to smile.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: I think smiling is probably the most confident thing we can wear.
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: So yeah, it's true, right, I mean, sometimes we just need to look at someone who's smiling and it helps us sort of put the day behind us or put you know whatever's bringing us down behind us.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: We can kind of forget about it for a short time.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: Exactly, yeah, I love that.
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: You have to be the leader, right, so you be the one to start the smile and it'll ripple, because then you're making somebody feel better and then they can go home and make their spouse feel better or their children feel better, like you.
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: Just have to be that kind of person in the world, just a green person.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: I agree, and it's like you said, it's like a ripple effect.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: Right, they might not go home and say, oh, jenny, made me smile today, but they will go home smiling and that smile will then you, you know affect the rest of their, their evening at home.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what's the most unexpected way that you've ever helped someone get confidence, or like build their confidence?
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: Um, I think it's just in the fun, like I use a lot of humor and I think you know why do we take ourselves so seriously?
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: Honestly, like we're here, we should have fun.
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, just making it fun.
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: So I remember a time where it was just this game that we were playing and it was just a bean game and so I did it with the children and it was a bean that we had to keep.
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: So that was kind of like our kind of our medicine we'll say we'll call it our medicine and we had to go out and give our beans away.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: But at the end if you didn't have any beans, it means you didn't have any steam for yourself, like you gave away everything.
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: So how can you take care of yourself when you, if you can't take care of yourself, you can't take care of others?
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: So having just that knowledge that you have to care for yourself, so your confidence comes first before you can even like do anything else.
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: So just through games and stuff, it's been really fun to build that confidence with those girls and I really enjoyed that part of it.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I love that and it's so true, especially with girls, right, you can't look after anyone else if you don't look after yourself first.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: That is like one of the most important messages right to give.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: I mean not just to girls, but you know, women are generally more nurturing and caring, and so you know, but I I mean there are a lot of dads that are the the main caregiver, you know.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: We all need to know that.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: We all need to know that, yes, I need to care for myself before I can care for others and spread my love.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: Right, if I don't have love, then I can't give love.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: Exactly that way.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so true.
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: I know, sorry, go ahead.
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: No, you go ahead, I have a question so you?
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: go ahead.
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: When I was little to, like you know, I was labeled shy, which I was like I am Okay.
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: I guess my teachers think I'm shy because I'm quiet.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: I didn't think I was shy, but you know, we have to be careful, careful with labels as well.
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: But yeah, so shyness, you know, growing up with that title and label, it was like that really took away my confidence.
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: And I'm sure there's situations where, like I remember, it was, you know, the Olympics here I had a chance to walk the torch in front of my whole school, but I could not even get myself to the front to even do that, so I missed opportunities.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: That would have been really special for me to remember, even though maybe no one else remembered, but I remember that significantly, I missed out because I didn't have the confidence.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: But yeah, you know, you have to be very careful with children and what you label them and what they hear, what they see.
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: They're sponges, so it's very important.
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: But I did gain my confidence back.
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: I mean, I was, I liked, you know, speaking in front of the class.
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: I had no problem with that, um, I also was in theater, I was in music, I was, you know, in a band, um, so those things, I think you have to be careful, especially with the children.
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: But I want to know, like, how do you, you know, maybe define confidence?
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: I think it's different for everyone else, I think so too.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think so too.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: And I say, I mean, I think confidence is how you see yourself.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: Right, it's, it's how you know, like, how do you see yourself, how do you, you know, portray yourself out to the world right, when someone walks into the room, you look at them and you go, oh, you know they just want to be hiding, or you know they feel like they belong here, or they think they own the room or you know, like that to me is confidence, right, it's how you see yourself Exactly.
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: I know that I had labeled myself as social, with social anxiety, but in the end I really don't have social anxiety.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: But I told that to myself for the longest time because walking in a room, I would feel the anxiety.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: I would feel, you know, just really really like I wanted to hide.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: But then I had to change the word anxiety to excitement.
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: So when I walk into a room now, it's like I'm excited to be here and then I'm able to go up to people and say hi, you know, those are skills you learn, you know right, and you, you know it's funny that you say that, because nervous and anxiousness like anxiety, those feelings are the same, right, and so it's what we tell ourselves, the meaning of exactly yeah, exactly.
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: So.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, those are all skills to learn, yeah, so true and and listening to the story that you're telling yourself right, oh, I feel it, I feel anxious, right?
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: So now, why is that Right?
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: We need to rephrase that and say, oh, I'm not feeling anxious, no, I'm just feeling excited because they feel the same.
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: We're really good liars to ourselves.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: Isn't that true, right?
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: We are our own worst enemies, right.
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, let's set us up for success.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, Absolutely.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: Now in your bio you mentioned sprinkling positivity and a pinch of perseverance.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: What are your go to tools or your habits to do that for yourself?
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: Oh, for sure, I do a lot of meditation.
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: I hang out with really positive people around me.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: My connections are always bringing me something, something positive, and if they don't, that means they're toxic and I let them go.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: I'm careful with just the things that I read or the things that I listen to.
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: Like I don't listen to the news.
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: If there's something super important, someone will tell me, but it's just really surrounding myself with positivity.
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: I need that because or else I can, you know, fall down pretty pretty quick.
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: Um, and that's what I know about myself.
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: Um, so if some people are like that as well, like it's just practice and just making sure that, yeah, you create a really sane environment for yourself and surround yourself with really good people and it's and it's true, like you know, when you say you have, you need to know your, your life, you need to know how you're going to handle, um, you know situations around you and being present with yourself.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: That's how you learn it right.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: It's not just something that you learn over time, it's a matter of you know, be present with yourself, really understand what's happening inside you, feel what's going on and what triggers it.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: Right, good or bad?
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: Right, we need to know that we need in order for us to feel confident.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: We have to know.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: We have to know ourselves.
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: Yes, and I've also known, like I've learned, how to say no, and if it's something that's not a hell yes, it's a no honestly.
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: And so I'm able to evaluate that, because I used to say yes to everything.
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: I was a people pleaser yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: And then I get to either the situation or the event and I'm like I don't want to be here.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: So now I'm filtering out what I want to do and it has to be a hell yes for sure, because if it's not yeah, it's not worth my time, it's not worth your time, and the thing is you don't enjoy it, although I will say I remember years ago not so much today, but years ago.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: I remember thinking I don't feel like going, do I have to go?
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: And then I get there and I have the best time.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: And so then I used to tell myself those are the events that you want to be at, right.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: But over time I felt like I was expecting to have that good time, even if I didn't want to go Right.
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: So I think I mean you're definitely onto something.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: We need to, like you know, pick and choose really carefully where we want to put our presence Right and and not put our presence, but not not necessarily.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: I mean the hell yes has, you know, a little bit of a gray area.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: I guess going right like the nose, those are those right when you know you don't want to be there, it's an easy no, but that that hell yes has to have a little bit of gray area For sure?
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: So well, let's talk about the comfort zone, right?
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: I mean, I think that's to me that's where dreams die, Honestly, you just, I think that's to me that's where dreams die, honestly, you just, if you're staying in there way too long, it's not healthy at all.
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: I mean, I stayed there way too long as well, and I've noticed that it wasn't months, it was actually years of my life that I was wasting.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: So I think the comfort zone is a big one, like you say.
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: I think I know what you're saying, but I'm this is what I'm really learning about myself and clients when we stay in our comfort zone.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: That is also where we learn how to expand that comfort zone right.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: Stepping out of your comfort zone isn't really the answer, because you know you could be putting yourself into danger right In so many different ways.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: I think expanding that comfort zone right, like you know, instead of taking two steps forward, take five right.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: See how far you can push that that you know wall around you and maybe you know what's the word I'm looking for Sort of encouraging yourself to you know.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: Go's the word I'm looking for.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: Sort of encouraging yourself to you know, go a little bit further every day.
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's what I'm here for.
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: Sometimes people just need a, you know, a hand, literally like let's go, let's do it right, because often we stay in our head and that's where we stay is in our comfort zone.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: So if I can be there for people to be like, okay, what is your goals, let's do it, let's take small steps.
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: You don't have to be big, you just do it a little bit every day, a little bit every week.
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: You know you embrace being uncomfortable, I know it's hard, but you just have to do it, I mean, and then you celebrate when you've done it right.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: Like we forget to celebrate ourselves sometimes and I think that's really important.
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I think magic happens outside of our comfort zone.
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: So let's get out there.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: And, and I think you know you said celebrating that like celebrate, even if it's one step over the line, one step, you know something that you would have never done yesterday.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: Right, celebrate that, right, be happy for yourself so that tomorrow, when you try it again or you try something even more different, you're more open to it exactly yeah, and you can learn a lot from children.
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: They're not scared right in the beginning, and then there's a point in our lives where all of a sudden we become, you know, insecure, and then we compare ourselves to people and and then it just yeah, just kind of goes down.
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: But if you look at small children and children in general, they're just yeah, let's do it right.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I have three kids and all three of them were so different, right, I remember.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: And then my first two were twins at, boy-girl twins at that, and he was always really he, you know, he tried everything, but he was careful, right, he knew okay, that's a little bit too risky, whereas my daughter, she would, she didn't think she just went right.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: I remember one time she was running to the swimming pool, my husband was in the in the pool and she starts running to him, daddy, daddy, right, well, it was like she, just she thought she was gonna run on the water, right, and I'm trying to grab her because I'm like, no, you're gonna fall.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: But she didn't think right, whereas he would have been like, okay, like running, but then noticing that you know, the cement under me is going to come to an end, so I need to slow down, not her, she just went and I used to think, oh, my God, right.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: But I, when you, when we talk about you know, like the comfort zone, that to me is like you need to also know what's on the other side, right, and then sometimes that can hold us back, which we have to be, you know very much aware of.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: But if we don't, if we just go.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: Then we have no idea how we're going to handle life right.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: And then that's when anxiety and fear all will set in right, because we're like, oh my God, how did I get here?
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: What have I done?
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I really hope to teach people those skills.
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: So when you get into those situations you feel confident because you've practiced it or you know you're like, yeah, I got this, especially as parents, right.
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah for sure.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: You know we try to sometimes compare ourselves to other parents, like, oh, my child is walking already and mine's not, and it's like, it's okay.
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: It's okay.
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: People Like why are we so concerned about other people?
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: They will get there.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: About other people.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: They will get there, right.
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: They will get there right.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I remember hearing you know your son will not be in diapers when he's five, when he's 10, you know, in grade five.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: I remember hearing that and I'm like I don't know.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I believe that right, because everyone around me, like I want to, you know, you compare yourself to everyone around you and how they're doing things, and well, how can they manage to get it done already?
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: Right, but the reality is being again, being present with yourself.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: You know what you're capable of doing at this moment, right.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: That doesn't mean you won't be able to do more, you know in a day or two, but right now this is all you're capable of doing.
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: But right now, this is all you're capable of doing, for sure, I think a big thing too is, you know, we sometimes live life on other people's terms, right, like people expect things of us, and that's where we feel very insecure because we're not aligned with what they want.
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: We want to align ourselves with what we want, and so that took me a very long time.
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: I mean, you know, I was married and, you know, did everything for my ex-husband, I stayed for the kids and then got divorced and then I didn't.
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: I felt so free because it was like.
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: You know, I think you can grow as a couple.
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: Of course, relationships are very important, but when you're disconnected like that and you're just kind of living as a zombie, that's not really life.
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: I don't think no.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: And then the thing is that freezes all your emotions, right, that that just puts everything into, like you know, a little jar inside you and then, when you feel that freedom, all of a sudden that jar gets opened and you're like, oh my god, you know what I could do, like you have all this potential now, right exactly, yeah and yeah, and then, and then of course, yeah.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: And then confidence.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: I mean now you can grow your confidence to be who you want to be and who you're meant to be, because we all know we all have that purpose, we all have you know who we are supposed to be.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: So I was going to ask you what's a piece of wisdom you always find yourself repeating, either to your clients, to your children or to the kids that you're teaching.
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: It'd have to be like, like you need to learn these skills, you have to practice them and it's okay.
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: Okay, like I think it's just stop being so hard on yourself.
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: I think that's the biggest one.
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: It's like we're all here to learn.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: Learning is a lifetime process.
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: I love like personal development.
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: I feel like I'm gonna be doing that for the rest of my life and I feel really good about, you know, growing, and so I think like really the wisdom is just keep growing and just don't be so hard on yourself.
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: Don't take that seriously yeah, I love that.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: I love that because I think we do, we, we get caught up in that, don't we?
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: The whole like I have to do this and I have to do that and I need to do it this way and I need to do it better than this.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: And yeah, I think I agree with that.
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: That's really great advice.
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: When you are working, what lights you up the most?
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: Seeing people's transformation by far I love.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: I love seeing them grow.
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: In return.
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: They give me so much as well, and so that's why I do what I do is just seeing people's transformation from like the beginning to the end.
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: It's like it's like a completely different person.
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: They, they, you know kind of grow into who they are and I think that's like the most beautiful thing ever.
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: I think children are the most beautiful thing ever.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that.
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, just people in general.
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: Just, let's be happy, I love that.
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, just people in general, just let's be happy, yeah.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: And then you know it's funny, like you know, when you watch kids grow, especially, you know if they grow confident, right, like if they grow and they stay in that confidence level.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: But I noticed, like with women who are, you know, they're a little bit timid and shy and they, you know, they don't have faith in themselves and they're you know.
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: And then you know, when you start working with them I'm sure you've seen it too where you know, by the end of six weeks or eight weeks, you're like wow, like who is this woman?
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: Right, like this cannot be the same woman that I had in front of me, you know, six or eight weeks ago, because she's so bright.
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: And you know like I'm sure you notice a change in their just in their face right, and you know, when you hear the things that they're doing, that probably would light you up the same.
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: It's beautiful.
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's like reviving a cat.
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: I don't know how to explain it.
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: It's just like you know, like I don't know, I just I love it, it, it it just their eyes glow, like they glow, it's like they just have so much more energy.
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: They're energized, they, you know, and then the ripple effect like they're like, yeah, my relationship with my husband is so much better because I feel so much better.
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: It's like my relationship with my family is so much better because I feel so much better and it's like I know it's great, isn't it?
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: Because that's the way it is.
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: Like you, you become confident and you just radiate that to the world.
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: And we should all feel that way, because what a wonderful world it would be if everybody could feel like that, like, oh, so true, there would be like less you know, less of everything, less crime, because people would be so happy with themselves.
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: There wouldn't be abuse, because people would be so happy with themselves.
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: There wouldn't be abuse because people would be so happy with themselves, like people would just, you know, be so concerned about their own, like self, and they wouldn't have to worry about everyone else.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so yeah, that's true, yeah, and I remember.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: I remember growing up hearing you know, worry about your own backyard before you look over the fence, right, and I remember thinking what the hell does that mean?
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: And of course, I think mainly with raising my own kids, I realized that, yeah, you need to worry about what's happening in your own house, not what's happening in other people's houses, because everyone is doing.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: You need to leave everyone to do their own thing, right?
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: When you start putting your nose in other people's business, you forget your own business, right, and then you yeah, then you become just a busybody.
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: And social media is so bad for that.
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: Like we start to compare ourselves and what's projected on social media is people don't want to see your dirty laundry, right.
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: Like you're projecting like this beautiful life and people think that that's what it is.
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: And then you know, you look at your own reality and you're like, oh, it's not like that, but it's like you know what.
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: Look at your reality and be grateful for it.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: Find your blessings Exactly Awesome moments.
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: I'm always realizing moments.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and realize too that if you have dirty laundry, so does everyone else.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: They just don't want the world to see it.
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: One thing I did tell my kids when they were growing up and I'm sure you did the same, right you know they'd come home and they start comparing themselves to what you know their friends were doing on social media or you know cause they could follow whoever they wanted.
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: And I would be like do you really think that that's how they wake up in the morning?
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: Do you really think that that's what all they're doing?
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: They're showing you the highlights of their day, right?
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: They're not showing you all the shitty parts, because we all have them.
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: Right, we all have emotions, we all get hurt, we all.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: We all go through every stage.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: Right, we just don't tell everybody.
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: No, and a lot of people have those skills and if you can teach them at the very young age, you know, once they go through life with you, know perfect, you know great skills for them to get through situations.
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: You know even teaching them how to deal with bullies or all these little things that are challenging in life.
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: If they can have those skills to be like yeah, I got this, that's right Then they're going to become really wonderful whole people in the world.
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: I love it.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: Is there anything more that you want to tell our listeners?
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd love to like just you know, my new program for entrepreneurs.
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: I just want to like say what a little bit about that and it's just really nice to, if I can put it down into an acronym of confidence.
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: I just want to, you know, say kind of a few things that we would be learning, and this is a lot of stuff that I teach as well to the young people.
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: You know courageous communication.
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: Communication is so important in life.
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: Own who you are, Nurture positive thoughts.
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: That's when you wake up in the morning and sometimes you're not feeling good, but you can change your whole state.
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: I always put music on.
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: I love music.
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: I used to wake up my kids with music and it was just like, yeah, you choose either to feel good or to feel bad.
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: First impressions, that's always really nice.
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: You know your body language.
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: How about a handshake?
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: Do you even know how to hand?
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: You know handshake someone's hand.
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: How about eye contact?
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: That's a big one too.
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: How about the letter I inner self issues?
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: You know you can't go through life if you haven't really dealt with some of your past things or even the core values.
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: You know what do you value the most.
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: If it's family, then you know when you're presented with situations where your family is involved, you'll most likely say yes to those things before anything else.
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: So it's nice to know what your core values are and all those wonderful values in life Define who you really are.
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: Let's define, like your values, your goals, your purpose in life.
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: You know your mission statement why don't we all create one?
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: I think that's really nice to have those things too.
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: And your vision for the future.
• 35:18
  Speaker 3: External image styling tips.
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: Body language you know managing and you know the first impressions.
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: Those are always great to have as well.
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: Nonverbal communication Did you know that?
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: You know even the way you'd look at someone or your tone of voice is really important.
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: It's not just the words that you say, and I think that's important to learn those things as well.
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: Overall, charisma charisma is another one you know.
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: Cultivate the magnetic personality that draws others to you.
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: Like you have to have that.
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: I think everybody has it.
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: Sometimes it's just hidden in there.
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: And last but not least, effectiveness Build on, you know, self efficiency through small wins.
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: And, yeah, get through those overwhelming fears and failures and rejections.
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: Like how do you deal with that?
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: You can deal very negatively or you can deal really positively with some of your failures in life.
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I love that, I love that.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: So you know, when I see those big words like confidence is a, it's a fairly big word, right, and you think okay an acronym.
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: How is this?
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: It's not necessarily like a nine step program.
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: It's more of.
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: This is what I'm going to give you.
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: This is, these are the things that you're going to walk away with.
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: These are, like, what confidence is to you.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: That's great, and you use that with entrepreneurs.
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: You don't use that with your kids, I'm sure, like I mean, it's pretty straightforward, right.
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: This is the one for entrepreneurs, but there's a lot of the same type of things that we use for the youth and the kids too.
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: But we want to start with, like, for the parents.
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: We want to start with the parents.
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: They need to be confident.
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: Then we pass that on with the kids and then with the youth.
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: It's a little bit different, but it's kind of the same.
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: It's all adapted to their age group as well.
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: And then for the entrepreneurs, I think it's important If you guys want to, like you know, become more confident in dealing with your clients.
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: More clients means more money.
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and you, yeah, well, of course.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: Oh, I love that.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for that.
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: I wrote them all down, so I hope I got them all right and I'm I yeah, I'm not gonna like, I I'm hoping right that someone will reach out to you and say I want more of that oh yeah, I love it.
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: It's so wonderful Like let's spread joy.
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: Yes, joy and love and self-assurance and confidence around the world would be amazing.
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely.
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: So I will put that in the show notes.
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, your contact information will be there, and anyone who wants to get in touch with you can do that.
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: And is there anything else you wanted to add to our, to what you said?
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, I'm a confidence consultant, confidence coach, and it's all about creating compelling confidence and being the unstoppable you that you are and I want to ignite your power and just be awesome.
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, that's what I want for people and I think that's.
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: I'm really great at doing what I do and I really want to see people succeed.
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: So awesome.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for joining me today.
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: Thank you, tina, I appreciate it.
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: That's been awesome.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: Confidence in Bloom is a celebration of self-love, a confirmation that, even though you may not look like a screen star or a supermodel they don't even look like that you are an amazing, desirable, brilliant, gorgeous, talented woman.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: We offer unconditional love to our partners, our children, our extended family, even our pets.
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: It's high time we got out of our own way and learned to unconditionally love ourselves.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: Infobloom Styling and Coaching offers an online program combined with one-on-one coaching and confidence building, personal branding and creating your signature fashion look.
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: Chic definitely does come in every shape.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: So if you want something to believe, in start with yourself.
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: If you'd like to be a guest here on Confidence in Bloom, contact me through Instagram at infobloomstyling, by email, tina at infobloomstylingcom, or through the Divas that Care website.
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: Thanks for listening.
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: This show was brought to you by Divas that Care.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: Connect with us on Facebook, on Instagram and, of course, on divasthatcarecom, where you can subscribe to our newsletter so you don't miss a thing.