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You've Got Decisions: Am I Settling or Just Chasing Lust? · Decisions, Decisions

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions,
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: if you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: a terrible thruffle.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Guess what? You've got decisions. You've got decisions.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: And I do too.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: You already know we are here to give you all
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: of the clearly solicited but not very professional advice coming
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: from two people just trying to figure out life.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: I really feel like.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Depending on the day, if I'm going to be- No,
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: you're not.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: Nothing about you, bro. I know you like to lean
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: into expert. We ain't experts in shit.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: No, I'm saying depending on the day, I feel like
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: I'll be giving different advice.
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: Like, it depends what day you got me on.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: Right now.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Very moody.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: I'm in a fucking.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Phase where I'm just, like, in a mood. So now
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: I feel like if a girl's like, do you like me?
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be like, no, bitch.
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: But maybe yesterday before I wasn't in a mood, I'd
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: be like, yeah. Okay.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: So good luck. Well, you're not going to bitch nobody
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: today because we actually, our letter comes from a guy. Oh, hey.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: We're talking about a man who is in a dilemma. Again,
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: if you want to send a letter to us and
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: get some advice, send it on over to decisionspod at gmail.com.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: That's decisionspod at gmail.com. And we can help you with
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: your life or at least try.
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: And I can't wait to.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: All right. So follow along with me. This one is
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: not very long, but he gives us a lot of
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: juice to hopefully be able to help him a little better. Okay. Boys,
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: these ages keep getting younger and younger. All right. Hey,
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: Mandy and Weezy. Uh-oh. I'm a 24-year-old guy.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: I've been with my girlfriend for over seven years. We
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: started dating when I was a sophomore in high school,
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: so she's basically been a part of my entire adult life.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: For the most part, I'm happy with our relationship. She
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: treats me well, I care about her deeply, and there's
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: nothing majorly wrong between us. But for about the past year,
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: I've been having some feelings that I can't seem to shake.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: I've started questioning whether I'm still attracted to her the
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: way I used to be, and more importantly, whether she's
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: actually the person I see myself spending the rest of
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: my life with. Our relationship has started to feel boring
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: and repetitive. We spend basically all of our free time together,
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: And we're each other's only real friend. Neither of us
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: has experienced much outside of this relationship. She's only ever
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: been with me sexually. And I've only been with one
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: other woman who took my virginity when I was a teenager. Lately,
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: I've found myself wondering what I'm missing out on. I
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: don't necessarily want to leave my girlfriend because I don't
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: love her. I do. But part of me wants to
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: experience more of life, dating, sex. And just being an
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: adult outside of the only serious relationship I've ever known.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: And I'm scared that if I leave, I'll eventually realize
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: I gave up the person who was actually meant for me.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: The part that really made me realize I have a
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: problem is our sex life. Sometimes when we have sex,
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm performing rather than actually experiencing intimacy
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: with her. And I feel horrible admitting this. But I
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: know that if an opportunity to cheat presented itself and
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: I knew for certain I wouldn't get caught.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: Damn.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: I would probably take it. That thought honestly scares me
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: because I know that means these feelings have gone further
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: than just a temporary rough patch. There's also a girl
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: at my job that I've developed a strong attraction to.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: She knows I have a girlfriend, but we still flirt
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: whenever we see each other. I haven't cheated, but I
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: know I'm playing with fire. To make things even more complicated...
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: My girlfriend and I are currently staying with her parents
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: for about a year while we pay off debt and
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: save money. So realistically, I'm not in the best position
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: to blow up my life right now, even if that's
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: ultimately what I decide to do. My question is, am
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: I confusing novelty and lust with something deeper because I've
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: spent my entire adult life with one person? Is it
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: possible to get that attraction or passion back? if I
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: actually put effort into the relationship and create lives outside
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: of each other? Or are these feelings a sign that
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: I've simply outgrown the relationship and need to accept that
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: it's time to let her go? I don't want to
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: throw away seven years because I'm bored and horny, but
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: I also don't want to stay with someone out of fear, comfort,
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: or because I'm scared I'll regret leaving. I've even considered
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: going back into therapy for this situation. So do I
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: fight for the relationship I have, or is it time
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: for me to experience life outside of it? You've got decisions. Thanks, guys.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: A quick add-on. There are also a couple of bigger
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: picture things he should have mentioned. We have very different
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: views on having children. He says he doesn't want kids
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: while she does. And surprisingly, we've never really sat down
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: and had a serious conversation about what that would mean
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: for our future. I also think our long-term goals and
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: the kind of life we envision for ourselves are also
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: pretty different. I'm working toward eventually going to dental school
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: and have some pretty specific goals for where I want
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: my career and life to go. And she seems much
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: more comfortable staying where she is professionally and doesn't really
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: have the same desire. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that,
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: but I'm starting to wonder if we're ultimately building toward
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: two very different versions of the future.
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: My advice changed on the PS.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: My initial advice was like, whatever, you got bored, fucking
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: figure it out. Like my initial thought was, I actually
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: don't think boredom with sex. So I think like cheating is,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Then going to an open relationship as a resolve is
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: the issue. But I don't think boredom and an open
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: relationship as a resolve is bad. I was going to say,
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: she's probably just as bored as you are, Monica. Like,
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: you're not fucking yourself. She's probably just as bored and
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: in a rut. Most women that I talk to that
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: are in long-term relationships experience the same thing.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: When I went to St.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Louis to visit Gabby, one of her homegirls literally said,
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: I just like hope he doesn't get on top of me.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: I hope he doesn't try to fuck me. And I
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: was like, damn, bro, the sex is that boring? Like,
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: he obviously feels the same as you. Like, it's just
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: in my head. But now that I know you guys
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: even want.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: Different lives, what's the point?
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: You're holding each other back. Why would you not want
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: kids but date somebody that does?
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: I did.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: I did.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: I think also when you're 24, that changes. I mean,
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: if he's planning for dental school, absolutely, he might not
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: want kids now. I can honestly also see a person
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: at 24 living in their partner's parents' home, not even
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: thinking of family building.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: But the thing is, though, like, wouldn't you think it's
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: a super red flag to continue a relationship where you
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: both want to be together forever?
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: Because they're talking about, you know, marrying.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: Well, they're not. That's the thing. Like, there was a
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: lot of, he included a lot. We don't know both
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: sides to this story. To me, clearly you don't want kids.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: You don't even have enough money to live on your own.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: I think in terms of the attraction, he said attraction.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: He didn't talk about physicality, but I wonder if there
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: has been changes physically. And I wonder where his attraction
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: to this new girl is coming from at his job.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: Like he mentioned attraction, not being attracted. Then he mentioned
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: the sex being boring. Then he mentioned how they don't
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: really have any other friends besides themselves. I think that overall,
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: he's experiencing the rough patch because I honestly just think
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: he's unhappy overall. I would like to see if they
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: could implement ways in which to get out of a routine.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: That was one of the things he said, too. Anything
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: being repetitive for too long is going to get boring.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: your job, a relationship, like, even sometimes working out. Like,
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: I know people that'll go walk the belt line and
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: then fit in, like, a spin class in there somewhere
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: just to do something different. Like, even eating the same
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: food gets boring, right? So for me, there's a few
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: things here that could resolve before I just say, break
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: the fuck up with each other. Or it's just not
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: gonna work. I also think the him not wanting kids
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: right now at 24, nigga, that's, That's obvious because of
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: your predicament right now, especially with having long-term goals. I'm
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: curious as to even the fact that you said, surprisingly,
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: we've never really sat down and had a serious conversation.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: It seems like there's a lot of serious conversations that
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: you're not having. And I'm wondering how comfortable you as
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: a man are actually to having those. Are you someone
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: that could also receive the information that she's not attracted
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: to you or that She's also possibly not having good
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: in the bed. His letter reads like the fucking Donnell
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: Jones song that I just fucking broke down on selective ignorance,
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: where he literally says, I don't even want to call
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: my baby because I just don't want to go home.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: I'd rather be alone. Pretty much saying, I want to
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: go out there and find more pussy. Just wait for me, though.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: Because you may be the girl that I need, but
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: I need to go outside and make sure.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: We were just having this conversation, my fiance and I,
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: about test dummies.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: How we both had test dummies. And how we feel
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: bad for those people. Like, A woman he's dated before,
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: not being sure. I bet I'm sure it was great. Whatever.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: A potential person. He wants to get married and have children.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: but like just not being ready.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: Clearly, if.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: You two, you're like, I don't want to give up
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: seven years, but it doesn't really seem like this is
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: somebody that even has a matchup for what you're looking
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: for long-term. Yes, 24 is old. Yes, seven years is
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: a long time. But some of the things that you said.
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: About them- 24 is old? No, sorry, not old. Sorry,
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: I meant young.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: Yes, 24 is not old, but seven years is a
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: long time. So it kind of makes you feel like, okay,
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: even though I'm young, thank you for correcting me. I'm
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: in this long-term thing, so it feels more serious. But
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: I think even the thing of like them not having
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: a real conversation, I've always thought when we skip around
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: and hold off conversations, it pretty much means we both
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: know what's going on and we both know what we
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: have to do. Some of the sexual stuff and the
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: desires and the girl at work and all that stuff,
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: I actually thought to be very surface level. But it's
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: the other stuff on the back end that now makes
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: me feel like.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: This isn't where you, this isn't a building relationship.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: Can we be honest though? Bro, how good could your
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: sex life be? How much can you ramp it up
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: while you're having it in her parents' house? Like, my
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: thing is, your focus right now on this relationship might
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: need to be to be the man. Get you a
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: fucking job, pay down that debt, and move yourself. You
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: got one, girl.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: You want to fuck the bitch there.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's the thing. Like, this idea, nigga, you
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: better not even motherfucking think of another pussy while you're
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: staying under the roof of a bitch's parents' house. Like,
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: to me, where I'm thinking of all your problems, the
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: number one thing needs to be, as a grown-ass man,
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: because 24, you're grown as fuck, Get yourself in a
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: position where you could afford to get out of this
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: woman's house. In the meantime, figure out and have the
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: conversations in how you can make it better. But the
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: idea of you even writing, you know, I may just
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: blow my whole life up. Nigga, you better not even
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: slide in no other pussy. Taste another pussy. Whiff another
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: pussy while you are living under the roof of the
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: parents of the woman that you've been with for seven years.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: I'll be forgetting about the parents because that actually was
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: the crazy part about it. I actually was surprised to
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: hear the part of the parents, but I guess the
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: kids thing kind of jolted me because I'd be like,
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: I'm at this point in my life where I have
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: friends that really don't want children and friends that really
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: do want children.
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, what?
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: What?
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: Like, why is anyone wasting their time? But I get it, 24,
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: it could change. That's a little bit different. Number one.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: 24 is way different than 35.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: Number one, you're bored with your sex life. I think
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: she's bored with your sex life. You guys need to
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: talk about how bored you are and bring up doing something.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: If you ain't gonna have money to pay that debt off,
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: get 150 together and go stay at a hotel for
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: the night. That's what you need to do. Number two, I.
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: Would absolutely.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: Tell her If a little bit of a spice doesn't work,
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: that you think you both are inexperienced and should try
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: seeing other people, exploring the idea, even maybe bringing it
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: up together, like figuring out how that could work. Because
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: cheating is an absolute no, especially like living under someone's roof,
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: like you're actually crazy.
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: Just break up with her at that point.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: But I actually think an open relationship is kind of
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: a salvageable thing because it seems like you're best friends.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: So it might be fun to just try new things
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: and even.
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: Talk about it together.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: I've always enjoyed talking about experiences with every single partner
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: I've had. I've never been a don't ask, don't tell person,
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: at least in my situation now and in the past.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: So what I can tell you is when you're those
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: type of people, it is really fun. Outside of even
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: doing this with men, with my ex-girlfriend and I, we
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: would really have a good time talking about who we
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: went out with the night before, whatever.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: The third thing, I.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: Think, You need to really figure out what she's looking
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: for in life in a man before you continue.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: She ain't gonna know at 24.
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: I don't think that's true.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: This is the only nigga she's ever been with or
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: had sex with. They've been together since high school. Asking
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: a 24-year-old what they want out of a man, what
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: she's going to want is the only... I.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: Think she would know, hey, I want to have kids
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: by 27. I think she would know, hey, I want
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: to get married soon. And you got to give people
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: their autonomy to be able.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: To walk away if you don't want those things.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Like, this would be a hard one for her to
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: recover from, but probably not him.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: But I think even that marriage, kids... you're both living
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: under her parents' roof right now. As a relationship, at
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: the age they're in, in the economy that we're in,
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: I genuinely think that that's not the needed conversation right now.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: I also feel like, one moment, at 24... When we
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: started this podcast, I don't think we could fully answer
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: those questions. And we were 27. Like, to be honest,
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: I think that they're in that thing of figuring life out.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: But the kid and marriage conversation right now, while they're
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: both figuring out money, debt, and how to get out
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: of her parents' house, I think you're putting the horse
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: before the carriage.
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: I don't think so.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: I think knowing that they have a common goal is
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: super important. At 24 years old, I wouldn't date men
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: that didn't want kids because I thought, hey, if we
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: fall in love, maybe I'll get pregnant by 27, 28.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: I just had a timeline of being with someone for
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: three years or so before we became parents.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: But I would have 100%. I don't know.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: I don't want to say that about a 24-year-old because
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: I think when women want to be moms, they have
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: a timeline in their head for that most times. For me,
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: I was never pressed about time. If I have a
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: kid at 40, I would be super happy.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: I'm just also looking at the timeline of when they
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: got together. Bitch, this is a COVID relationship. Seven years?
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: Oh, God.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: I graduated high school. The way that they wrote these.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry. Sorry, person that wrote this in. But the
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: brains of these people is like, girl, is is is backdated. Like,
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: it's not right. They didn't.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: Not as backdated.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: It is because.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: But wait, would you tell a 24 year old if
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: a 24 if he came to her and he was like, yo,
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: what are some things you want?
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: Like, do you want to get married?
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: And when would you want to have kids if they
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: weren't aligned? Do you think that they should keep doing this?
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: I don't think marriage or children should be the focus
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: of a conversation when you don't have a home and
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: you're working on debt. Like, they're adults, but I still
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: think that if we're talking about the natural hierarchy of
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: a relationship and what a healthy relationship looks like it
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: needs to be built upon. planning children or setting wedding
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: dates or even putting that into motion while you're living
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: in your parents' home, that to me just doesn't sound like.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: I've been broken at goals before. That's unfair. No, I
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: get it. It's totally fine to say, hey, when do
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: you want to have kids?
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: You're asking me my opinion? My opinion is that whether
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: you believe it to be true or not, I'm saying.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: No, but Kandi, I'm like, it's not about whether it's true.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: You don't have to be there to be able to
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: talk about a goal. Let's just say she wants to
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: have kids by 27th. then we need to plan what happens.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: But even that, I'm coming from, and here I go,
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: being a realist, whoever the fuck wants to write that
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: in the comments all the time, being a realist, we don't,
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: there's a lot of women that I've known throughout my
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: whole life When they wanted a baby and when they
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: had the baby were two different things. So even though
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: I want a baby by this time, I want to
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: be married by this time. To me at 24, that's
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: an unrealistic thing to gauge or even like put as
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: a timeframe. I think based on again, and I've lived
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: a different life.
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: Sorry, guys.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: Shoot me. Based on how I've seen everyone's goals be
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: shifted and dictated based on their finances. I don't know.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: People, that's what I'm saying.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: So maybe then having a conversation of if we got
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: pregnant today, what would we do?
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: Broke people have babies every single day. Kids are born
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: every single day.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she's got to be on some goddamn birth control. No,
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: and she might be because they don't have kids. It's
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: been seven years. But like, fuck no, you got to
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: talk about this shit. Like, I think the second you
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: take a rubber off, we got to talk about shit.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: Matter of fact, I remember Breonda said something. I don't
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: know if it was on this podcast or me and
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: her were just chatting, but she was like, oh.
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: I be telling.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: Guys, I'm not getting an abortion. I don't believe in abortion.
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: And she's like, and they think I'm fucking crazy.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: That's so funny because I say the opposite. I'll let
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: a nigga know, hey, I'm killing your miracle baby.
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: Oh my God.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: And the niggas with kids, I damn sure don't fuck
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: up with them. No slip ups. You not raw dogging.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: If you got kids, you're a baby maker. You're not
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: getting in my womb because I'm not getting on birth control.
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to hold you.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: We just had the most awkward conversation a few weeks ago.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: I think I might have talked about it with you
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: already when we were in New York, but I was like, damn, bro,
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: we're going to have to keep this shit.
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: We got to be extra. Wait, keep what?
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: What are we talking about?
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: If I got accidentally pregnant right now, I'd be like, bitch,
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: if I'm three hours late on the pill, I'd be.
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: Like, pull it out. Because, uh-uh.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Like, don't get me wrong.
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: I was talking about abortion and shit before. Now I'm
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: just like, damn, nigga.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: I'm going to have one.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: Oh, my gosh.
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: I don't want it right now.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying I wouldn't feel blessed to, like, have
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: a child.
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: Just give it to me.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: 2028.
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying?
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: But see, even that, bro, you've been pushing those years
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: back every year.
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: You literally, I would say five years ago, said next year.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: You were talking about being pregnant while we were touring.
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: You let's wrap it up let's wrap it's time to.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: Go baby you've been wanting a baby I don't need
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: you to go back in the logs I they they
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: will if I don't so.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much for listening to another episode
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: of you got decisions I don't need you to leave
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: a comment about this. Hopefully you're not on the Patreon
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: because that's where you would leave the comment. But if
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: you aren't on there, you could see the video. You
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: could see our reactions. Watch us in real time. Join
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: in the fun on our town halls, on seeing every
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: single video ad-free. Also, patreon.com backslash horrible decisions, where do
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: not comment when the fuck I said I wanted a baby.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: But you've been saying you wanted a baby since year two.
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: I do, but I just don't want it tomorrow.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: Well, no, it takes nine and a half months.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm going to say when I get pregnant?
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: When I get off birth control and I get pregnant,
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be like, damn, I ain't know I'm
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: going to get pregnant that fast.
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: It takes nine and a half months. So you're not
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: going to get pregnant tomorrow, but okay, next year. That's
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: why you, never mind. All right, guys.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: Bye.
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: Bye, everybody.