Latest / Movie Meltdown / Hal the Barbarian

Transcript

Hal the Barbarian · Movie Meltdown

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: This is Nick Offerman and you're listening to Movie Meltdown.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: The following feature has been rated R by the Motion
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: Picture Association of America.
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: It's showtime, folks.
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: Enjoy the show.
• 0:44
  Speaker 5: Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: Kilowatts of power.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: Provide more cooling in the containment chambers.
• 1:15
  Speaker 6: To your stations, we have a rebound.
• 1:18
  Speaker 7: Hey, punk.
• 1:20
  Speaker 8: When I get out of here, I'm.
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: Going to tear you a new ass.
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: You know Captain Dinoball here?
• 1:26
  Speaker 7: Yes.
• 1:27
  Speaker 9: Yes.
• 1:28
  Speaker 10: I love doing Conan the Barbarian.
• 1:39
  Speaker 8: What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown. I'm Brian and
• 1:42
  Speaker 8: with me this week, the return of special guest co-host
• 1:45
  Speaker 8: Hal Sparks.
• 1:46
  Speaker 11: So good to be here. Thank you very much. Thanks
• 1:48
  Speaker 11: for having me. Glad everybody's listening. Hope they're snuggled in.
• 1:53
  Speaker 11: If you're listening to this around the holidays, you're doing
• 1:56
  Speaker 11: your binge around the holidays. Good for you.
• 1:58
  Speaker 8: Got your cocoa.
• 1:59
  Speaker 11: Yeah, get away from the family. Find a secure corner.
• 2:02
  Speaker 11: Get your earbuds in. Block out all the screaming.
• 2:06
  Speaker 8: I approve of all these things.
• 2:07
  Speaker 6: It's all good.
• 2:08
  Speaker 11: It's a good time to do it.
• 2:10
  Speaker 8: Well, last time we kind of addressed more of the
• 2:12
  Speaker 8: up and coming and your narrow escape from Kentucky. So
• 2:17
  Speaker 8: I was just going to do some kind of intro
• 2:19
  Speaker 8: stuff here of just stuff in between and more career stuff. First,
• 2:24
  Speaker 8: I wanted to say I've outed myself on this show
• 2:27
  Speaker 8: many times for watching a lot of live action things
• 2:31
  Speaker 8: that are probably supposed to be for children. Sure. So
• 2:33
  Speaker 8: I've seen a lot of lab rats. And what I've
• 2:35
  Speaker 8: noticed is it's funny that... They've changed the show a
• 2:39
  Speaker 8: couple of times and done spinoffs of itself or morphed it,
• 2:43
  Speaker 8: and each time, who is there?
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: Me.
• 2:45
  Speaker 8: There's always other changes, but who's the one that's always there?
• 2:49
  Speaker 8: So either you have really good black material, or, I mean,
• 2:54
  Speaker 8: are they? That's kind of where I was going.
• 2:56
  Speaker 12: I think it's that I'm effectively just beloved. Well, obviously.
• 3:01
  Speaker 11: I mean, part of it is the rule in Hollywood
• 3:04
  Speaker 11: is that you have to make yourself too useful. If
• 3:09
  Speaker 11: you are replaceable at all, you will be.
• 3:13
  Speaker 8: Definitely in the industry, yes.
• 3:15
  Speaker 11: Even marginally. Even if it's like, if it's a coin flip,
• 3:19
  Speaker 11: you just assume you're going to lose. It has to
• 3:22
  Speaker 11: be so off the chain. That's why, quite frankly, a
• 3:24
  Speaker 11: lot of actors that float to the top aren't even
• 3:27
  Speaker 11: necessarily good at morphing into other characters or creating kind
• 3:31
  Speaker 11: of this, you know, wow, like, wow, he totally disappeared.
• 3:34
  Speaker 11: I didn't even see him like that.
• 3:35
  Speaker 12: They're Christopher Walken. They're Robert De Niro.
• 3:37
  Speaker 11: They're almost the same person every time because they outclass
• 3:42
  Speaker 11: everyone at just being that. And so specific.
• 3:46
  Speaker 8: No one else can do De Niro except a bad
• 3:49
  Speaker 8: version of De Niro.
• 3:50
  Speaker 11: That's right. Except an 80s stand-up comic in sneakers and
• 3:53
  Speaker 11: a sport coat.
• 3:55
  Speaker 8: He is his own brand.
• 3:56
  Speaker 11: That's right. On that show in particular... I would write
• 4:02
  Speaker 11: jokes for the show. I would throw it against the wall.
• 4:06
  Speaker 11: Anytime I could make the show better, and I started
• 4:09
  Speaker 11: directing the show, my shows, the first episode, one of
• 4:16
  Speaker 11: the episodes I directed was the first one to come
• 4:18
  Speaker 11: back with no notes from the network. No changes. That's right.
• 4:24
  Speaker 11: And that's got to be your goal anyways. The other thing, too,
• 4:28
  Speaker 11: is after my experience on TalkSoup, I now go in
• 4:31
  Speaker 11: with an assumption that whatever it is is doomed. Not
• 4:35
  Speaker 11: because of me, but because of madness by whoever's in charge.
• 4:40
  Speaker 11: And therefore, I will milk the crap out of it
• 4:43
  Speaker 11: for everything it's worth. Just pour myself into it. Burn
• 4:47
  Speaker 11: it down so that if it does go away... No
• 4:50
  Speaker 11: one will go, well, yeah, I just wasn't that good.
• 4:52
  Speaker 11: They'll go, I don't know what the hell. House Parks
• 4:54
  Speaker 11: was awesome on that.
• 4:54
  Speaker 8: He wasn't even into it. I don't know what he was. Yeah,
• 4:57
  Speaker 8: there's no doubt.
• 4:57
  Speaker 11: Yeah.
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: Full force.
• 4:59
  Speaker 11: And Lab Rats is just a joy. Our execs are great.
• 5:01
  Speaker 11: Kids were terrific. Like, it's just super fun. You know,
• 5:05
  Speaker 11: it's just, yeah. And it got to be pretty damn
• 5:09
  Speaker 11: serious over time. You know, like in the beginning, we
• 5:11
  Speaker 11: were kind of like a fun kid.
• 5:13
  Speaker 8: So they said, come. And then it's very action oriented
• 5:15
  Speaker 8: as time goes on.
• 5:16
  Speaker 11: We're the first Disney show to blind someone. cut someone's
• 5:20
  Speaker 11: arm off, crush their leg, and kill someone. These were
• 5:24
  Speaker 11: four different human beings. We actually sliced a woman in half. Actually,
• 5:28
  Speaker 11: she did it to herself. She was a villain, and
• 5:30
  Speaker 11: she wrapped herself up in her own laser lasso, and
• 5:32
  Speaker 11: she basically did one of those slide-in-half moments.
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: It happens.
• 5:35
  Speaker 11: But up to that point, literally we had to shoot.
• 5:38
  Speaker 11: Anytime somebody fell down, if you didn't make those noises
• 5:43
  Speaker 11: in the moment, you had to go back in ADR later.
• 5:46
  Speaker 11: and do moaning noises because they didn't want kids to
• 5:48
  Speaker 11: think the person laying on the ground was dead.
• 5:50
  Speaker 8: They're not dead.
• 5:51
  Speaker 11: That's right. They want to hide the fact that, you know,
• 5:53
  Speaker 11: make sure that you think they're just injured. So in
• 5:55
  Speaker 11: this case, they're like, nah, she's dead. And they give
• 5:59
  Speaker 11: the line. They don't show it because they can't. But
• 6:02
  Speaker 11: who gets the line to reference that you're dead?
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: Me.
• 6:05
  Speaker 12: I walk in and go, glad you guys are okay. Ooh,
• 6:09
  Speaker 12: she's not.
• 6:09
  Speaker 8: You're the grown-up. You got to make the call.
• 6:11
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 6:12
  Speaker 8: Dead person or not.
• 6:13
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 6:14
  Speaker 12: I love it. I mean, like, so fun.
• 6:17
  Speaker 11: Such a fun show.
• 6:17
  Speaker 8: I would assume this many years in, there must be
• 6:20
  Speaker 8: a good company to work for, too. I mean, everybody
• 6:22
  Speaker 8: got so concerned because Disney kept buying everything up. But
• 6:25
  Speaker 8: I was just like, yeah, but, I mean, they're so
• 6:28
  Speaker 8: good at what they do, like, across the board, you know?
• 6:31
  Speaker 8: So I'm like, let them have Star Wars. Let them
• 6:32
  Speaker 8: have Marvel. That's right. Because they know how to run them.
• 6:34
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 6:35
  Speaker 12: Well, and they also are all in on that stuff.
• 6:37
  Speaker 11: You know, one of the great things about, you know,
• 6:40
  Speaker 11: the Disney shows in some ways is that if you
• 6:41
  Speaker 11: get on one, it's going the distance.
• 6:43
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 6:44
  Speaker 12: They don't cancel stuff.
• 6:45
  Speaker 11: They manage their budgets in such a way that no
• 6:48
  Speaker 11: show is more expensive than another show.
• 6:50
  Speaker 12: So they don't get dropped because, well, it might be okay.
• 6:53
  Speaker 11: Like this show might get a 1.5 and this show
• 6:55
  Speaker 11: might get a 1.8. But the 1.8 show costs twice
• 6:58
  Speaker 11: as much as the show that's getting a 1.5. Let's
• 7:01
  Speaker 11: just do two shows that get a 1.5. So everything
• 7:04
  Speaker 11: becomes homogenized on most network television at a budgetary and
• 7:08
  Speaker 11: acting standpoint. This is why sitcoms, even when they said
• 7:10
  Speaker 11: they were all dead.
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 7:12
  Speaker 11: Effectively all came back because the, the return on investment
• 7:15
  Speaker 11: is extraordinary.
• 7:17
  Speaker 8: Well, and stuff, it's funny because the stuff on that channel,
• 7:21
  Speaker 8: I think again, I'm not supposed to be watching them.
• 7:24
  Speaker 8: I'm a grownup, but I think they're better written than
• 7:26
  Speaker 8: 90% of shows on network television.
• 7:29
  Speaker 11: A lot of times that's because you get angry sitcom
• 7:31
  Speaker 11: writers who lost their jobs or whatever. And now they're
• 7:33
  Speaker 11: writing revenge jokes that are actually quite smart. Yeah, that's right.
• 7:37
  Speaker 11: Pretty sharp for the room.
• 7:38
  Speaker 12: So clearly that's there.
• 7:41
  Speaker 11: And we've had, you know, when, When our writers are
• 7:43
  Speaker 11: doing some stuff, like, I was like, I can't believe
• 7:47
  Speaker 11: we're going to get away with that, but I'm glad
• 7:48
  Speaker 11: you're trying.
• 7:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 7:50
  Speaker 8: Well, and they, like, you aside, they also, it seems
• 7:53
  Speaker 8: like you were talking about them planning other shows. They
• 7:56
  Speaker 8: also feel like they have, I mean, they seem to
• 7:59
  Speaker 8: support their people so well to the point that they're
• 8:03
  Speaker 8: planning out your next couple of moves. It's in their
• 8:06
  Speaker 8: best interest, too, but I'll be like, okay, so they
• 8:08
  Speaker 8: canceled this show because but they took this person from
• 8:10
  Speaker 8: here and put them on this show.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 8:11
  Speaker 8: They started a new show with this main character here.
• 8:14
  Speaker 12: That's right.
• 8:15
  Speaker 8: They're six steps ahead of the game.
• 8:16
  Speaker 11: Yeah, well, I would say they're two, not six, because
• 8:19
  Speaker 11: if they were six, what they would do is plan
• 8:21
  Speaker 11: out moving this kid from Disney Channel or Disney XD
• 8:24
  Speaker 11: to ABC Family, from ABC Family, which is, I guess,
• 8:28
  Speaker 11: Freeform now, to ABC Freeform, then to ABC Network, then
• 8:32
  Speaker 11: to Disney Films.
• 8:33
  Speaker 8: To a Marvel movie.
• 8:34
  Speaker 12: That's right.
• 8:35
  Speaker 11: Yeah, just farm these kids through the process. The problem
• 8:38
  Speaker 11: is what they have is there's such a firewall between
• 8:40
  Speaker 11: the organizations that basically once the kids have topped out
• 8:44
  Speaker 11: age-wise at Disney, there's really nothing to do with them
• 8:47
  Speaker 11: unless they want to be a dad or an older
• 8:50
  Speaker 11: character on these shows with their own kids or something.
• 8:53
  Speaker 11: And there's too much of a window where that wouldn't
• 8:56
  Speaker 11: matter anymore. So there's no impetus to keep them locked
• 8:59
  Speaker 11: into the family. I think Disney has an opportunity more
• 9:02
  Speaker 11: than anybody else to operate a modern.
• 9:07
  Speaker 11: Uh, you know, studio system. You know, we found this
• 9:09
  Speaker 11: kid at 15. We, you know, we brought him up
• 9:11
  Speaker 11: through the ranks. We've taught him basically sent him to
• 9:14
  Speaker 11: university about how to be funny on camera. And then
• 9:17
  Speaker 11: we're going to turn them loose and let NBC have them.
• 9:19
  Speaker 11: No way.
• 9:20
  Speaker 8: Did they learn nothing from Kurt Russell?
• 9:22
  Speaker 12: I know you get ahold of these kids.
• 9:23
  Speaker 8: You need to hang on to.
• 9:24
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 9:26
  Speaker 12: You got touchstone.
• 9:27
  Speaker 11: It's not like you couldn't have made escape from New York.
• 9:29
  Speaker 11: You know?
• 9:30
  Speaker 8: Oh, Lord. Disney escaped from New York. Trying to decide
• 9:32
  Speaker 8: what that would turn out like.
• 9:33
  Speaker 11: Well, at this point.
• 9:34
  Speaker 8: Now, really good.
• 9:35
  Speaker 11: It would be Iron Man 2, right?
• 9:36
  Speaker 8: Yeah. But... Yeah, I don't know. I mean, as we
• 9:41
  Speaker 8: got into that, I also wanted to go into what...
• 9:43
  Speaker 8: Some of just your performance stuff. Because you do so
• 9:47
  Speaker 8: many different things that, like... Almost just, like... I'm looking
• 9:50
  Speaker 8: at it from as much work as it takes for
• 9:52
  Speaker 8: me to plan these things out and schedule and coordinate.
• 9:55
  Speaker 11: Right.
• 9:56
  Speaker 8: So, the fact that you're doing... Comedy tours and a TV.
• 10:00
  Speaker 8: schedule on multiple shows, it would seem, and planning, acting,
• 10:04
  Speaker 8: and doing radio now and doing all of these different projects,
• 10:09
  Speaker 8: I mean, how easy is it to coordinate is probably
• 10:12
  Speaker 8: the most realistic question I had.
• 10:15
  Speaker 11: Well, you can't do it without management. That's one of
• 10:17
  Speaker 11: the things that's just natural to my experience. And you
• 10:21
  Speaker 11: also have an issue with, you know, it's not a
• 10:26
  Speaker 11: matter of planning your day like you would if you
• 10:29
  Speaker 11: were an entrepreneur. Like I'll have meetings till 10 and
• 10:31
  Speaker 11: then I'll stay in my office and do contracts and
• 10:33
  Speaker 11: then at 3.30 I'll, because every day is different. Every
• 10:37
  Speaker 11: day is a total shuffle and experientially it's completely different.
• 10:41
  Speaker 11: You know, just your day when you're doing, my Thursday
• 10:43
  Speaker 11: or Friday when I'm doing standup is, Press in the morning,
• 10:46
  Speaker 11: nap in the afternoon because shows are at night and
• 10:49
  Speaker 11: my noon effectively mentally has to be about 10 o'clock
• 10:53
  Speaker 11: at night.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 10:54
  Speaker 11: Mentally to be on par with what I'm doing. This
• 10:57
  Speaker 11: had to be my highest waking hour.
• 10:58
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 10:59
  Speaker 11: And yet I've still got to be up at 6, 7,
• 11:01
  Speaker 11: 8 a.m.
• 11:02
  Speaker 12: To do press.
• 11:03
  Speaker 11: Your day is completely cattywampus. When you're shooting a television
• 11:07
  Speaker 11: show or a feature, those are two different time schedules too.
• 11:11
  Speaker 11: Features are more like a full extended 16 hours of experience.
• 11:15
  Speaker 11: Whereas if you're doing a TV show, you can count
• 11:19
  Speaker 11: on it just being Monday, Tuesday. Or if you're on
• 11:22
  Speaker 11: an episodic series like Queer as Folk, it's your whole life.
• 11:26
  Speaker 11: Ten months out of the year, you're doing 12, 13-hour days.
• 11:30
  Speaker 11: That's that. If you include lunch, it's a 13-hour day
• 11:34
  Speaker 11: every single day where there is no step away. There's no...
• 11:38
  Speaker 11: I'm going to take a smoking break or step outside,
• 11:41
  Speaker 11: you know, like people on a normal job do because
• 11:43
  Speaker 11: once things are set and ready to go, you have
• 11:45
  Speaker 11: to be keyed emotionally and ready to go, which is
• 11:48
  Speaker 11: a bizarrely demanding circumstance. And, and I, I think if
• 11:56
  Speaker 11: people understood that more, they might understand why some actors
• 11:59
  Speaker 11: are nuts or why they are so quote unquote difficult
• 12:03
  Speaker 11: is because you, I mean, it's, it's like living on
• 12:06
  Speaker 11: a tightrope.
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 12:08
  Speaker 8: Well, I mean, that's, yeah. And to go from performance
• 12:12
  Speaker 8: mode to the next. Because, again, you're doing something entirely
• 12:16
  Speaker 8: different in the acting versus when you go out on stage.
• 12:19
  Speaker 8: And that in and of itself is different for each person, too.
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: Absolutely.
• 12:24
  Speaker 8: So I feel like yours, I don't know how it started,
• 12:26
  Speaker 8: but having seen you in the last few years, it's
• 12:29
  Speaker 8: gotten so fluid now. I feel like it's so storytelling
• 12:33
  Speaker 8: more than anything.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: That's right.
• 12:34
  Speaker 11: And it's just.
• 12:35
  Speaker 8: it's fluid, but like to still be able to go
• 12:38
  Speaker 8: from comedy set up more or less to being in
• 12:42
  Speaker 8: your band, you know, that's a totally different performance mode.
• 12:46
  Speaker 11: And there's a level of madness necessarily that's necessary to that,
• 12:54
  Speaker 11: especially when I'm playing music, for example, like the, I've
• 12:58
  Speaker 11: always believed that the goal of mastery of an instrument
• 13:01
  Speaker 11: is not to be really good at the instrument, it's abandoned.
• 13:05
  Speaker 11: It's to lose yourself in it. You have to be
• 13:07
  Speaker 11: so good, you don't have to think about... You exceed
• 13:10
  Speaker 11: all of that.
• 13:10
  Speaker 8: That's right.
• 13:11
  Speaker 12: That's always the goal.
• 13:13
  Speaker 11: And only in shred metal and jazz do you find
• 13:16
  Speaker 11: people that allow themselves to do that. Everybody else is
• 13:18
  Speaker 11: a little too coordinated for me in life. Even punk,
• 13:22
  Speaker 11: to some degree, is so busy selling an attitude that
• 13:25
  Speaker 11: sometimes they miss the instrument entirely.
• 13:27
  Speaker 12: When they're playing or whatever.
• 13:29
  Speaker 8: Sometimes literally.
• 13:30
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 13:30
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 13:31
  Speaker 11: Whereas, you know, so to me, I like music for
• 13:37
  Speaker 11: its allowance of me to just kind of disappear into it.
• 13:42
  Speaker 11: More so than the coordination required to act. And then
• 13:48
  Speaker 11: to a lesser extent, being a stand-up. Because stand-up in
• 13:51
  Speaker 11: and of itself is three jobs at once. You're performing
• 13:54
  Speaker 11: and you're completely committed to performing. You're editing. Part of
• 13:58
  Speaker 11: your brain is... is chopping jokes to pieces because the
• 14:02
  Speaker 11: audience might not have heard this or this word didn't
• 14:04
  Speaker 11: come out right.
• 14:04
  Speaker 12: Or the timing was different.
• 14:06
  Speaker 11: So you want to feed off something or the blender
• 14:08
  Speaker 11: in the kitchen went on and they might've covered that word.
• 14:10
  Speaker 8: So you're bringing the checks. Yeah.
• 14:12
  Speaker 11: Like they're, they're not really with this piece. So I
• 14:14
  Speaker 11: got to shuffle this other piece in and then I'll
• 14:16
  Speaker 11: get to that point in.
• 14:17
  Speaker 8: A little bit.
• 14:17
  Speaker 11: You're doing all that while you're actively performing while you're
• 14:20
  Speaker 11: still talking. That's right. And running around like an idiot,
• 14:23
  Speaker 11: you know, hopefully. And then thirdly, there's an element of
• 14:27
  Speaker 11: crowd control. You have a, Part of your personality is
• 14:31
  Speaker 11: in personality management of the audience. You're going, that person
• 14:34
  Speaker 11: is paying attention at that table, or this person's ignoring
• 14:37
  Speaker 11: everybody at the table, or this is the big laugher,
• 14:39
  Speaker 11: or over there is a group of, I'm aware that's
• 14:41
  Speaker 11: a birthday party. They're a little noisy. The checks are coming.
• 14:45
  Speaker 11: The checks are going out. I've got to steady this
• 14:48
  Speaker 11: and hold my real setup line that has a punchline
• 14:52
  Speaker 11: to it. the funny setup line, talk a little moment
• 14:56
  Speaker 11: to get them past the scribbling part on their check.
• 14:58
  Speaker 11: Then I can jump back into my normal setup and
• 15:02
  Speaker 11: off we go again. And so those three jobs are
• 15:05
  Speaker 11: all happening at once.
• 15:07
  Speaker 8: This is way too complicated.
• 15:09
  Speaker 11: Which is why I hate books like The One Thing
• 15:12
  Speaker 11: and all these hyper-focus books about time management that are
• 15:17
  Speaker 11: always about just pick one thing and stick to it.
• 15:20
  Speaker 11: I'm like, I don't do a single job that's one
• 15:22
  Speaker 11: thing because when you're It's like saying, I'm just going
• 15:25
  Speaker 11: to be the greatest guitar player I could ever possibly be. Well,
• 15:27
  Speaker 11: that doesn't teach you how to be in a band.
• 15:28
  Speaker 11: It doesn't teach you how to play and sing. I mean,
• 15:31
  Speaker 11: there's so much more into it.
• 15:33
  Speaker 8: Definitely doesn't teach you how to interact with the other
• 15:35
  Speaker 8: people in your band.
• 15:35
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 15:36
  Speaker 8: That's probably the biggest thing to learn.
• 15:37
  Speaker 11: And then the audience, right? And then, you know, how
• 15:40
  Speaker 11: to rehearse is very different from how to actually perform.
• 15:44
  Speaker 11: And you have to get good at rehearsing before you
• 15:46
  Speaker 11: can get good at performing. You know, like... So this
• 15:49
  Speaker 11: idea that I'll just focus on this one thing is
• 15:51
  Speaker 11: just an absurdity. And the same thing with stand-up. Like,
• 15:53
  Speaker 11: I'll just be the greatest stand-up ever. Well, which part
• 15:55
  Speaker 11: of it? Will you be the best crowd-working stand-up? Or
• 15:57
  Speaker 11: will you be the best writer? Or will you... If
• 16:00
  Speaker 11: you incorporate both, that's not the same thing. If you
• 16:03
  Speaker 11: just want to be an overall great comic, that's a
• 16:05
  Speaker 11: much more malleable goal. There is no one thing. And
• 16:08
  Speaker 11: if you want to be... You know, the funny thing is,
• 16:11
  Speaker 11: in entertainment, it used to be a standard that you
• 16:12
  Speaker 11: did all things or you were nothing. It was kind of... Like,
• 16:15
  Speaker 11: even in China right now. If you don't act... do comedy, television, film,
• 16:21
  Speaker 11: stand up and sing, you're kind of sad. Like, they
• 16:24
  Speaker 11: look at Andy Lau like, oh, sad guy, he's just
• 16:26
  Speaker 11: a movie star. He's like the Chinese Harrison Ford, and
• 16:29
  Speaker 11: they're like, he's not very impressive. He's just a movie star.
• 16:33
  Speaker 11: It's kind of sad. And everybody's like, why is Jackie
• 16:36
  Speaker 11: Chan singing? I'm like, because that's how their culture works.
• 16:39
  Speaker 11: Culture is if you can't do everything, you're a loser.
• 16:42
  Speaker 11: And we used to be like that. We used to have,
• 16:43
  Speaker 11: you know, the Fred Astaire era.
• 16:45
  Speaker 8: The vaudeville guys rolled into movies. That's right. And radio
• 16:48
  Speaker 8: and all of it. Now it's like, it's.
• 16:50
  Speaker 11: Like this guy to do one note, stick to it,
• 16:52
  Speaker 11: and we'll cast him in that, and that's all he
• 16:53
  Speaker 11: ever does, and yada, yada.
• 16:55
  Speaker 12: And I can't live like that. And I have no
• 16:56
  Speaker 12: interest in that.
• 16:58
  Speaker 8: I think it was really hard to do that up
• 17:00
  Speaker 8: until recently. That run in the 80s, you couldn't. You
• 17:04
  Speaker 8: were a joke if you were trying to make an
• 17:05
  Speaker 8: album and you were a comedian or you were an actor.
• 17:09
  Speaker 8: They would not let you. Now I'm trying to decide
• 17:11
  Speaker 8: because I thought, oh, well now it's just we have
• 17:13
  Speaker 8: all these new options. But I'm also trying to decide,
• 17:16
  Speaker 8: is it that so many people do so many things
• 17:19
  Speaker 8: now also because almost nobody gets paid like they used
• 17:22
  Speaker 8: to either. So it really is just spinning blades.
• 17:24
  Speaker 12: It's always been about the hustle.
• 17:26
  Speaker 11: Like, you know, like, like African-American artists know this well
• 17:31
  Speaker 11: in that you're never going to get paid the same
• 17:33
  Speaker 11: as an actor as your contemporaries. So you damn well
• 17:36
  Speaker 11: better sing and dance and do other stuff to make
• 17:40
  Speaker 11: up for that lack of income. And that is effectively
• 17:43
  Speaker 11: normalized throughout the industry.
• 17:44
  Speaker 12: For a lot of people. So yeah, that's why.
• 17:49
  Speaker 11: But I also think it's because there's branding and personality
• 17:55
  Speaker 11: based fandom has grown so incredibly over the last 10
• 18:01
  Speaker 11: years that you have fans of you no matter what
• 18:05
  Speaker 11: you do and they're now realizing that it's way easier
• 18:08
  Speaker 11: to just do that.
• 18:10
  Speaker 8: And it's so focused now. They really can be just
• 18:14
  Speaker 8: your fan base to the point of podcast and the
• 18:17
  Speaker 8: only people that listen to you are people who like
• 18:19
  Speaker 8: you yeah whatever thing you're doing this week and they
• 18:23
  Speaker 8: that might be the only show that they're into that's
• 18:25
  Speaker 8: right or they might listen to 12 other ones yeah.
• 18:27
  Speaker 11: Well the argument about bill burr what's his bigger uh
• 18:31
  Speaker 11: impact right now his podcast or his stand-up and there's
• 18:34
  Speaker 11: a debatable element of you know even though he pays
• 18:37
  Speaker 11: his bills with stand-up without the podcast it might not
• 18:40
  Speaker 11: have floated the.
• 18:41
  Speaker 12: Way it did and And vice versa, you know what
• 18:43
  Speaker 12: I mean?
• 18:43
  Speaker 8: Comedy's definitely, they've just become a tandem thing now.
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: This is right.
• 18:47
  Speaker 8: Everybody has a show and then uses the show to
• 18:50
  Speaker 8: get their dates and to build up the dates, and
• 18:53
  Speaker 8: then while they're on those dates, they're pushing the show.
• 18:56
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 18:56
  Speaker 8: Yeah, it becomes a vicious cycle that kind of, I think,
• 19:00
  Speaker 8: has people at least surviving at this point where they
• 19:03
  Speaker 8: might not have before.
• 19:04
  Speaker 11: Yeah. Well, there's always a Wild West aspect whenever industry
• 19:10
  Speaker 11: goes through a big transition period.
• 19:12
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 19:12
  Speaker 11: And we, we certainly were in one for a while
• 19:16
  Speaker 11: where podcasts were necessary, but, but absolutely revenue list, no
• 19:21
  Speaker 11: matter who you were. And then a couple of people
• 19:22
  Speaker 11: turned it into a revenue finally. And what it, yeah.
• 19:25
  Speaker 11: And what it did was even if the people who
• 19:28
  Speaker 11: also had one, you know, didn't have the revenue that
• 19:32
  Speaker 11: somebody like, uh, like Rogan or Corolla were getting, they
• 19:35
  Speaker 11: still could skate on the prestige of having one because
• 19:39
  Speaker 11: nobody knows if you're making any money on it. So,
• 19:40
  Speaker 11: So they can just kind of go, he's got he's
• 19:42
  Speaker 11: got a well-known podcast that's right in and of itself
• 19:46
  Speaker 11: uh speaks to an audience and if you want his
• 19:48
  Speaker 11: audience and you have big time celebrities pushing big budget
• 19:51
  Speaker 11: films going on podcasts to do it great.
• 19:55
  Speaker 8: It's it is a new channel that like again i
• 19:58
  Speaker 8: think so much of the world still hasn't really tapped
• 20:02
  Speaker 8: in it's like the fan base is there but it's
• 20:04
  Speaker 8: those same people like week after week different shows different
• 20:08
  Speaker 8: people but like there's still 75% of people that either
• 20:11
  Speaker 8: don't know what it is. Couldn't make one work if
• 20:14
  Speaker 8: their life depends.
• 20:15
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 20:16
  Speaker 8: As simple as it is. It's just like, so I,
• 20:19
  Speaker 8: it is weird that it's, it's got the dedicated following
• 20:21
  Speaker 8: it does, but it's still like barely a tapped market
• 20:25
  Speaker 8: as far as if the, if we get to this
• 20:28
  Speaker 8: next generation where everybody understands it, like it may end
• 20:32
  Speaker 8: up leaving things like network television behind because everything is
• 20:36
  Speaker 8: on demand. It's to your, schedule and your needs and
• 20:39
  Speaker 8: your needs.
• 20:41
  Speaker 11: One of the, one of the biggest bottlenecks in creativity
• 20:43
  Speaker 11: in this country was programming was the idea that it
• 20:47
  Speaker 11: wasn't that the show you're trying to sell me isn't
• 20:49
  Speaker 11: good for it and perfect for CBS. It's just that
• 20:53
  Speaker 11: it's perfect for CBS Tuesdays at seven. And we already
• 20:56
  Speaker 11: have a show Tuesdays at seven under contract. That's giving
• 20:59
  Speaker 11: us good numbers. And it just doesn't belong Wednesdays at,
• 21:02
  Speaker 11: you know, at nine. And it can't go in Fridays
• 21:06
  Speaker 11: on 8 because that's a whole different lineup of stuff.
• 21:08
  Speaker 12: And we've got this whole thing.
• 21:09
  Speaker 11: So even though your show is amazing and probably would
• 21:13
  Speaker 11: have a huge fan base, we don't have Wednesdays at
• 21:17
  Speaker 11: 7 or Tuesdays at 7.
• 21:18
  Speaker 12: So it's just done.
• 21:19
  Speaker 8: That's it.
• 21:19
  Speaker 12: And it's like you would see that happen.
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: Totally.
• 21:21
  Speaker 8: They would move it.
• 21:22
  Speaker 11: All the time.
• 21:23
  Speaker 8: And it would die a season later.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 21:24
  Speaker 8: You're like, this was one of the biggest shows in
• 21:26
  Speaker 8: the world.
• 21:26
  Speaker 7: That's right.
• 21:27
  Speaker 8: Nobody cared when it went to Wednesday.
• 21:28
  Speaker 11: That's right. And they did that because they knew that
• 21:31
  Speaker 11: was a good night. They'd already locked in because of
• 21:32
  Speaker 11: that show. And then they would literally get two weeks
• 21:36
  Speaker 11: of people going, where the hell was that show? Because
• 21:40
  Speaker 11: if you didn't have a TV guide, you just turned
• 21:41
  Speaker 11: on the television every Tuesday at 7.
• 21:43
  Speaker 8: It's not there. Can't find it now.
• 21:45
  Speaker 11: Thanks to the Netflix model and on demand, that situation
• 21:50
  Speaker 11: has completely changed. And it is not an impossibility that studios,
• 21:57
  Speaker 11: Warner Brothers, Universal, any of these that have the budgets
• 22:02
  Speaker 11: to go, you know, we can crank out 12 episodes
• 22:04
  Speaker 11: of a show as cheaply as we can make a
• 22:06
  Speaker 11: low-budget indie, and if we build an audience, we'll make
• 22:10
  Speaker 11: a sequel for the movie anyways, and we're building these
• 22:12
  Speaker 11: friggin' sets, why not keep shooting?
• 22:15
  Speaker 8: And they can knock out so much, you can get
• 22:17
  Speaker 8: a 12 to 16 hour movie versus a two hour
• 22:22
  Speaker 8: indie that then you're like, well, now what do I
• 22:23
  Speaker 8: do with it?
• 22:24
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 22:24
  Speaker 8: Because they don't sometimes get the support on Netflix that.
• 22:28
  Speaker 11: The series do for some reason.
• 22:30
  Speaker 8: Absolutely. People just, it's the new thing. It's the mode
• 22:33
  Speaker 8: that everybody's in now. It's like reading novels chapter by chapter.
• 22:36
  Speaker 8: What can I stream? What can I get into that's
• 22:38
  Speaker 8: a new series that will take up hours of my life?
• 22:40
  Speaker 7: I know.
• 22:41
  Speaker 11: It's amazing.
• 22:41
  Speaker 8: That's all they want to do.
• 22:43
  Speaker 11: And by the way, In direct contrast to what the
• 22:45
  Speaker 11: industry would tell you about people's attention spans.
• 22:48
  Speaker 12: The exact opposite.
• 22:50
  Speaker 11: It's just different now. What has the industry been saying?
• 22:53
  Speaker 11: Three minutes is the longest anybody has an attention span.
• 22:56
  Speaker 11: We need shorter stuff or whatever. Bullshit.
• 22:59
  Speaker 4: Bullshit.
• 23:00
  Speaker 8: We want whatever the hell we want, but we want
• 23:02
  Speaker 8: as much of it as we can get.
• 23:04
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 23:05
  Speaker 8: And that's, yeah. So it's, we don't want to give
• 23:07
  Speaker 8: you more than that three minutes to decide if this
• 23:10
  Speaker 8: is what I want, but when I find it, give
• 23:11
  Speaker 8: me 12 to 16 hours.
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, right.
• 23:13
  Speaker 11: Burn it down. Yeah.
• 23:14
  Speaker 8: So it's, it's a weird dynamic. We're just, we're constantly
• 23:18
  Speaker 8: changing now as a, as a society, as consumers, like
• 23:21
  Speaker 8: everything's weird and different now.
• 23:23
  Speaker 11: And I think there, I think the industry is finally
• 23:25
  Speaker 11: catching up to people's actual tastes as opposed to the
• 23:28
  Speaker 11: limitations of the mechanic of the, because for a long
• 23:31
  Speaker 11: time they operated on television the same way, sort of
• 23:34
  Speaker 11: the broadcast window. TVs used to go off at midnight.
• 23:38
  Speaker 11: They'd play the national anthem, and then it would play hash,
• 23:41
  Speaker 11: because at night it would interfere with planes and all
• 23:44
  Speaker 11: kinds of stuff if you were sending television signals through
• 23:47
  Speaker 11: the air, they thought. All kinds of stuff. We've got
• 23:51
  Speaker 11: to watch the Japanese so we can't have TVs on
• 23:53
  Speaker 11: at night. All that kind of ridiculousness. And they programmed
• 23:57
  Speaker 11: as if it was still true to that, Well into
• 23:59
  Speaker 11: the 90s.
• 24:00
  Speaker 8: Yeah, up until about 10 years.
• 24:01
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 24:02
  Speaker 8: They finally went, oh, wait.
• 24:04
  Speaker 11: Oh, none of that applies.
• 24:05
  Speaker 12: We've had cable since 1980.
• 24:06
  Speaker 11: Yeah.
• 24:08
  Speaker 8: And they realized that now it's almost to the point
• 24:10
  Speaker 8: where people are making the decisions. And I'm sure network
• 24:15
  Speaker 8: executives hate that. But it's just like they used to
• 24:17
  Speaker 8: run the show completely. And now there's these weird... outliers
• 24:21
  Speaker 8: that are now becoming juggernauts like.
• 24:23
  Speaker 11: Netflix and Amazon.
• 24:25
  Speaker 8: And it's like, oh, all of a sudden.
• 24:26
  Speaker 11: And Hulu, right?
• 24:27
  Speaker 8: Yeah, and Hulu. And people are just like, well, they
• 24:29
  Speaker 8: did this wingnut idea, and oh, by the way, 10
• 24:32
  Speaker 8: million people showed up and watched it.
• 24:33
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 24:34
  Speaker 8: And nobody's watching your network show, so... The interesting.
• 24:37
  Speaker 11: Thing is that the network creatives are actually super happy
• 24:40
  Speaker 11: about it, and they're all trying to get their own
• 24:43
  Speaker 11: version of On Demand of whatever it is. I mean,
• 24:45
  Speaker 11: Hulu is effectively NBC Networks.
• 24:47
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 24:48
  Speaker 8: Honestly, you see them starting like even the stuff on
• 24:51
  Speaker 8: the shows is starting to get more and more like
• 24:53
  Speaker 8: what they're doing online.
• 24:54
  Speaker 12: Yes, exactly.
• 24:55
  Speaker 11: Because they're setting it up for that delivery system and
• 24:58
  Speaker 11: they're going to send it since since they're shooting it
• 25:00
  Speaker 11: all year long. Anyways, there's no impetus at this point
• 25:03
  Speaker 11: to not release it on our schedule every week because
• 25:06
  Speaker 11: they can because they can keep people involved. And people
• 25:09
  Speaker 11: do want chapter based tension, meaning I wonder what's going
• 25:12
  Speaker 11: to happen next week.
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 25:14
  Speaker 12: As opposed to the, you know. screw Christmas, I want
• 25:17
  Speaker 12: it all right now.
• 25:18
  Speaker 11: Let me just unwrap this whole show in one fell
• 25:20
  Speaker 11: swoop the night before. The spoiler alert generation.
• 25:26
  Speaker 8: Again, it's a different mode that we're in in these last,
• 25:29
  Speaker 8: not even 10, like five years. Everything has shifted to
• 25:32
  Speaker 8: the point of nobody wants to wait a week to
• 25:35
  Speaker 8: watch the next episode. It almost frustrates them to the
• 25:38
  Speaker 8: point that I think that's why Some people are dropping
• 25:41
  Speaker 8: off on network stuff. It's just like, if you're not
• 25:43
  Speaker 8: going to give it to me now, screw you. Then
• 25:45
  Speaker 8: I don't have to watch your show at all.
• 25:46
  Speaker 12: It was like Walking Dead.
• 25:47
  Speaker 11: I didn't get into Walking Dead until it was already
• 25:49
  Speaker 11: on for almost five seasons. And then I binge watched
• 25:52
  Speaker 11: it up to that point or whatever. And then it
• 25:54
  Speaker 11: became irritating to wait. And I felt so manipulated by
• 25:57
  Speaker 11: the network during the process.
• 26:00
  Speaker 8: Especially at the cliffhangers.
• 26:01
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 26:02
  Speaker 8: They know they're screwing with you.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 26:04
  Speaker 11: Like at this point with Game of Thrones, I'm just
• 26:05
  Speaker 11: ignoring people largely until the entire show is done.
• 26:08
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 26:09
  Speaker 12: And then I'll watch it.
• 26:10
  Speaker 11: You know what I mean?
• 26:10
  Speaker 8: As soon as he finishes writing those books, don't you worry.
• 26:13
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 26:15
  Speaker 12: Or the Harry Potter novels.
• 26:16
  Speaker 11: You know what I mean? Once they're done with the
• 26:18
  Speaker 11: Harry Potter novels for good, then I'll just binge watch
• 26:21
  Speaker 11: all the movies.
• 26:22
  Speaker 8: Get eight or ten extra movies.
• 26:24
  Speaker 11: That's right. They'll keep making new ones now. I did
• 26:27
  Speaker 11: like Fantastic Beasts. I took my five-year-old to see it,
• 26:30
  Speaker 11: and it was adorable for him.
• 26:33
  Speaker 8: Does it feel like the same universe? I haven't watched
• 26:36
  Speaker 8: it yet.
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: Uh.
• 26:38
  Speaker 11: Yeah, yeah, it does. I mean, it's in America as
• 26:41
  Speaker 11: opposed to in England, so there's a lot of colloquialism
• 26:44
  Speaker 11: and stuff that's gone. But it's like, it's, you know,
• 26:48
  Speaker 11: industrial age United States, you know, factory, you know, modern
• 26:54
  Speaker 11: New York. So it fits, you know?
• 26:57
  Speaker 8: It's going to be interesting to see now that, and again,
• 27:00
  Speaker 8: half of these are, you know, just big studios kind
• 27:02
  Speaker 8: of desperate to find something that works, that all they
• 27:05
  Speaker 8: have is tent poles now. So when they start handing
• 27:07
  Speaker 8: them off to other people, when you see somebody else
• 27:10
  Speaker 8: now kind of getting a chance to make a Harry
• 27:12
  Speaker 8: Potter movie, or you get an entirely new Star Wars world,
• 27:17
  Speaker 8: that's part of the same universe, but it's not involving
• 27:20
  Speaker 8: that storyline. We can finally completely detach from the Skywalker
• 27:24
  Speaker 8: family and we can do whatever the hell we want
• 27:26
  Speaker 8: in this same universe. That's going to be interesting to
• 27:29
  Speaker 8: see how it goes in a couple of weeks.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: Sure.
• 27:31
  Speaker 11: I'm for it actually. I'm excited about Rogue One. I
• 27:33
  Speaker 11: think it'll be a great idea. It's a, It's a beautiful,
• 27:37
  Speaker 11: fascinating story. You know, like who got these plans to
• 27:43
  Speaker 11: Leia in R2 in the first place.
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 27:46
  Speaker 11: Awesome.
• 27:47
  Speaker 8: It's, again, it's got its nice little tie-ins that we want,
• 27:50
  Speaker 8: but at the same time, it's entirely different characters.
• 27:52
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 27:53
  Speaker 8: And a whole new dynamic to build.
• 27:55
  Speaker 12: Donnie Yen is in it, so I'm in regardless.
• 27:57
  Speaker 8: Yeah, it's already just.
• 27:59
  Speaker 11: Yeah, I'll watch anything with Donnie Yen in it, honestly.
• 28:01
  Speaker 8: It's got a good cast.
• 28:02
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 28:02
  Speaker 8: Like, again, it's like, I give them credit. That's, I
• 28:05
  Speaker 8: think the smart move on Disney's part is like, they
• 28:08
  Speaker 8: don't seem super controlling. They're like, Do what's going to
• 28:10
  Speaker 8: work for your project.
• 28:12
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 28:12
  Speaker 8: Not for us.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 28:13
  Speaker 8: We just want to take the money in the end.
• 28:15
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 28:15
  Speaker 8: So as long as you can do it right, we'll
• 28:17
  Speaker 8: let you have a little free reign.
• 28:18
  Speaker 11: They've learned from the Pixar world.
• 28:19
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 28:20
  Speaker 11: I mean, arguably, Pixar, the rumor is that all Pixar
• 28:23
  Speaker 11: movies exist in the same universe by hook or by crook,
• 28:27
  Speaker 11: by some element. With the pizza truck.
• 28:29
  Speaker 8: The pizza truck.
• 28:29
  Speaker 11: Pizza truck, right. But also, the princess movies all exist,
• 28:32
  Speaker 11: you know, cohabitably, too, that the frozen parents that died
• 28:37
  Speaker 11: on the boat are actually, they didn't die in the
• 28:39
  Speaker 11: sinking of the ship, They landed and they gave birth
• 28:42
  Speaker 11: to Tarzan. And then they were killed. And Tarzan is
• 28:45
  Speaker 11: actually the brother of the frozen daughters. Which is very
• 28:53
  Speaker 11: grim fairy tales. Very Scandinavian way of doing it. And
• 28:56
  Speaker 11: that's totally fine.
• 28:57
  Speaker 8: It's all in the same big book in their mind.
• 28:59
  Speaker 12: That's right.
• 29:00
  Speaker 11: And there's nothing wrong with that. I find that charming.
• 29:02
  Speaker 11: And I think it makes sense that Marvel was a
• 29:06
  Speaker 11: better fit DC is so chasing.
• 29:09
  Speaker 12: The Marvel mechanic now.
• 29:11
  Speaker 8: And do it at Raw.
• 29:12
  Speaker 11: So like a 15-year-old going, hey, guys, wait up.
• 29:15
  Speaker 8: Did you see that thing they did the other day?
• 29:16
  Speaker 8: I want to do something just like that.
• 29:18
  Speaker 11: Yeah, do that. And then make a bunch of things
• 29:20
  Speaker 11: where it says we're going to do stuff later, and
• 29:21
  Speaker 11: then we'll do stuff later. The saddest thing about Batman
• 29:25
  Speaker 11: v Superman.
• 29:26
  Speaker 8: That's a long list.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 29:28
  Speaker 11: Was the fact that Ben Affleck's Batman wasn't half bad.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: No.
• 29:31
  Speaker 8: That's about the only good part in it.
• 29:34
  Speaker 11: It was, yeah. And the only dumb part was, why'd
• 29:36
  Speaker 11: you say Martha, which is a stupid plot point anyways.
• 29:39
  Speaker 11: But everything else about him, terrific.
• 29:43
  Speaker 8: I mean, it gives me hope for the new movie
• 29:45
  Speaker 8: because he's also going to direct.
• 29:47
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 29:47
  Speaker 8: That's promising too.
• 29:49
  Speaker 11: Like more an Argo Nolan kind of zone of things.
• 29:51
  Speaker 8: Get it away from Zach. For the love of God,
• 29:54
  Speaker 8: get it away from Zach.
• 29:56
  Speaker 11: And there's no Clark Kent in that Superman. I don't
• 29:59
  Speaker 11: understand what the fuck. What the hell?
• 30:02
  Speaker 8: I can't, I mean, it's one of those, like, Can't
• 30:04
  Speaker 8: watch anybody. Because I've said it on the show before,
• 30:08
  Speaker 8: I don't really care about Superman as a character. The
• 30:11
  Speaker 8: only time it ever worked was all just Christopher Reeve.
• 30:15
  Speaker 11: Oh, my God.
• 30:15
  Speaker 8: He's so engaging and so likable. And so caring and innocent.
• 30:19
  Speaker 8: Even if you don't like Superman, that guy's so damn likable. Yeah.
• 30:23
  Speaker 8: It's like you are sucked in.
• 30:24
  Speaker 12: Yeah.
• 30:25
  Speaker 8: And I haven't got that from anybody since then.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: No.
• 30:28
  Speaker 8: And I'm like, you're really going to have to sell
• 30:30
  Speaker 8: this guy. character to make me want to come back
• 30:33
  Speaker 8: on board.
• 30:33
  Speaker 11: And in many ways uh you know uh the marvel
• 30:37
  Speaker 11: universe uh did an end run around it with captain
• 30:42
  Speaker 11: america they basically stole that yeah that idiom that concept
• 30:47
  Speaker 11: of the purest 1950s kind of dude yeah holding fast
• 30:52
  Speaker 11: to principle.
• 30:53
  Speaker 8: Made him really fallible and likable and human where you
• 30:56
  Speaker 8: don't ever get that from Superman. He's just kind of
• 30:59
  Speaker 8: an outer space dick all the time.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: Now, yeah.
• 31:01
  Speaker 8: Yeah, and I'm just like, you don't ever get that from,
• 31:04
  Speaker 8: this new incarnation of Captain America is so human that it's,
• 31:09
  Speaker 8: you know, that you forget that he can pick up
• 31:12
  Speaker 8: a motorcycle and throw it at someone because he's so
• 31:15
  Speaker 8: damn human.
• 31:16
  Speaker 11: The only problem I have with the Marvel Universe is
• 31:18
  Speaker 11: that everything is everybody's fault. Everything is nothing. It's almost
• 31:22
  Speaker 11: like there wouldn't be any crime if you hadn't tried
• 31:26
  Speaker 11: to make a suit. It would be no crime if
• 31:29
  Speaker 11: your dad hadn't tried to make super soldiers. This idea
• 31:31
  Speaker 11: that there can be no bad guy out there unless
• 31:35
  Speaker 11: it's kind of your fault.
• 31:35
  Speaker 8: It's all connected. Well, even like this last, you know,
• 31:39
  Speaker 8: Civil War. There wouldn't even be Iron Man or Captain
• 31:45
  Speaker 8: America had this guy not come along, your dad not
• 31:48
  Speaker 8: come along, and then this guy kills your dad, so
• 31:50
  Speaker 8: that pisses you off. Like, it's such a web at
• 31:52
  Speaker 8: this point.
• 31:53
  Speaker 11: Yeah, it's so fucking Kardashian. I just don't like it. Like,
• 31:57
  Speaker 11: I'm a big fan of, you know, I got law
• 31:59
  Speaker 11: enforcement in my family, and I don't need, like, Never
• 32:03
  Speaker 11: have they tried to catch a serial killer and gone, dude,
• 32:07
  Speaker 11: it's my cousin. It's never that. It's just there's some
• 32:11
  Speaker 11: shitty people out there that will do their thing because
• 32:14
  Speaker 11: they are that, and they don't need any help from you.
• 32:19
  Speaker 11: The problem is to try and up comic book stories
• 32:22
  Speaker 11: to the level of true cinema, they try to throw
• 32:25
  Speaker 11: in the mystery element, which is always people trying to
• 32:29
  Speaker 11: recreate both characters Joseph Campbell's The Power of Myth, which
• 32:33
  Speaker 11: is the worst book that's ever happened to film because
• 32:37
  Speaker 11: everybody thinks that's the only way to tell a hero's story.
• 32:39
  Speaker 8: Yeah, that's the outline I have to follow.
• 32:42
  Speaker 11: Or straight up just ripping off Hitchcock's double blinds and
• 32:47
  Speaker 11: red herrings.
• 32:48
  Speaker 8: Yeah, it's all about a reveal now. We have to
• 32:51
  Speaker 8: have a spoiler so people can complain about the spoiler
• 32:54
  Speaker 8: being spoiled.
• 32:54
  Speaker 11: Don't even get me started on why we need a
• 32:57
  Speaker 11: team to beat the bad guy. Like, that was the
• 32:59
  Speaker 11: only good part, you know, about the fight scene aspect
• 33:02
  Speaker 11: of Iron Man versus Winter Soldier and Captain America in
• 33:06
  Speaker 11: this last little bit was that they had to team
• 33:09
  Speaker 11: up to beat Iron Man.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 33:11
  Speaker 12: But it wasn't for the two of them fighting him.
• 33:14
  Speaker 8: I like that scene because, again, it became personal. Like,
• 33:17
  Speaker 8: all of a sudden you're like... no, Tony Stark's going
• 33:19
  Speaker 8: to kill you.
• 33:20
  Speaker 11: Yeah, right.
• 33:20
  Speaker 8: With good reason.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 33:22
  Speaker 8: As weird as the dynamic was that led him there,
• 33:24
  Speaker 8: all of a sudden it had real stakes.
• 33:26
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 33:27
  Speaker 8: The airport fight is just a two-page foldout.
• 33:31
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 33:31
  Speaker 8: It's all showboating of like, look at all these characters
• 33:34
  Speaker 8: we now have license to.
• 33:36
  Speaker 11: But that was also consistent in the comics.
• 33:38
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 33:38
  Speaker 12: The comics always did that, so that's okay.
• 33:40
  Speaker 8: You know what I mean?
• 33:41
  Speaker 11: It's not going outside the realm of the material.
• 33:43
  Speaker 8: Forgive it because it's entertaining.
• 33:45
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 33:45
  Speaker 8: But I don't really care about anything going on there.
• 33:47
  Speaker 11: Right.
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: Where.
• 33:48
  Speaker 8: a half hour later, I'm like, oh, this is a
• 33:50
  Speaker 8: real fight. Yeah, that's right. This has stakes. This is
• 33:52
  Speaker 8: a real thing.
• 33:53
  Speaker 11: Right. And once, you know, and War Machine's injury and
• 33:55
  Speaker 11: all that kind of stuff gives it a sense of
• 33:57
  Speaker 11: depth that doesn't exist in the DC universe. So, I
• 34:03
  Speaker 11: appreciate it even if I would approach it differently in
• 34:06
  Speaker 11: some ways.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 34:07
  Speaker 11: You know, you really saw the limitation budget-wise of Iron
• 34:14
  Speaker 11: Man 1 where they just make, you know, Jeff Bridges
• 34:17
  Speaker 11: the villain, which is always a mistake. But also, you know, like, oh,
• 34:21
  Speaker 11: you built a suit, so I'm going to build a suit,
• 34:22
  Speaker 11: and you won't give us the technology, and we're a
• 34:24
  Speaker 11: military company, so we're just going to take it back.
• 34:25
  Speaker 11: Instead of, oh, I built this just in time to
• 34:29
  Speaker 11: deal with this threat.
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 34:30
  Speaker 12: And if it wasn't for me building this, this threat
• 34:32
  Speaker 12: would get worse.
• 34:34
  Speaker 8: Again, they spiral off, and it's always like, the only
• 34:37
  Speaker 8: downfall is the villains.
• 34:38
  Speaker 11: It becomes insular.
• 34:39
  Speaker 8: Even two. It's just like, all I want to do
• 34:42
  Speaker 8: is make a whole bunch of guys just like you.
• 34:43
  Speaker 8: I'm like, well, that... Like we had a really good
• 34:46
  Speaker 8: villain and you put him in prison and then you
• 34:48
  Speaker 8: went off in this other weird direction.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 34:51
  Speaker 8: So the villain is always their weak spot.
• 34:53
  Speaker 11: That's right. And which is weird because in most cases
• 34:58
  Speaker 11: villains are the characters that the big stars want to play.
• 35:01
  Speaker 8: It's the most charismatic usually.
• 35:04
  Speaker 11: But in this case in the Marvel Universe they've allowed
• 35:07
  Speaker 11: everybody to be so charismatic.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 35:09
  Speaker 11: That there is no snappy comeback to a snappy comeback.
• 35:13
  Speaker 8: There's no need to have somebody, again, Loki's the only
• 35:16
  Speaker 8: one that's gotten close. That's right. And he's, I keep saying,
• 35:18
  Speaker 8: he's not a villain. Like, he's so damn likable to
• 35:21
  Speaker 8: the fans now. I'm like, He's just a pawn to
• 35:23
  Speaker 8: get the next piece to come into play.
• 35:25
  Speaker 11: He did kill his own mom, effectively. So that, I think,
• 35:29
  Speaker 11: officially puts him in a villain zone.
• 35:31
  Speaker 8: I mean, he's a jackass. But again, he's so damn
• 35:35
  Speaker 8: likable at doing that. He never even really falls into
• 35:39
  Speaker 8: that category.
• 35:40
  Speaker 11: No, and I have a chip on my shoulder about
• 35:42
  Speaker 11: likable villains anyways. That's always been a problem with me
• 35:45
  Speaker 11: from a storyline. Literally, if you look at the new
• 35:49
  Speaker 11: Star Wars... The focus was on how cool is Kylo Ren.
• 35:53
  Speaker 11: I'm like, he's a patricidal prick.
• 35:57
  Speaker 12: I don't care what his outfit looks like.
• 35:58
  Speaker 8: That's why I liked him is because he's such a
• 36:01
  Speaker 8: terrible villain. Yeah. They went 180, like Darth Vader was
• 36:05
  Speaker 8: the coolest guy in the universe. This is a whiny kid.
• 36:07
  Speaker 8: He's a mess. And he has so many problems that
• 36:11
  Speaker 8: they've just manifested themselves into this outfit.
• 36:14
  Speaker 11: And then they cast somebody who looks like Jokar Sanaj,
• 36:16
  Speaker 11: the kid who was on the cover of Rolling Stone.
• 36:18
  Speaker 8: I just think it's funny that his hair is so
• 36:21
  Speaker 8: perfect when he takes off that mask.
• 36:23
  Speaker 12: Yeah, that's always the case.
• 36:25
  Speaker 8: Not sweaty and matted to his face like it really
• 36:27
  Speaker 8: should be.
• 36:28
  Speaker 4: No.
• 36:30
  Speaker 11: Even in the case that it is the future, you
• 36:33
  Speaker 11: could have all kinds of reasons why your hair mashes
• 36:35
  Speaker 11: to the inside of it. It's all kinds of... you know,
• 36:38
  Speaker 11: nano computers making sure it blows you dry as soon
• 36:41
  Speaker 11: as you pull it out. But yeah, I just have
• 36:44
  Speaker 11: a big problem. Like, even Darth Vader. Like, yeah, it's
• 36:47
  Speaker 11: a cool villain or whatever, but he's a genocidal prick. Like,
• 36:50
  Speaker 11: even the first, the prequels are some of the most
• 36:53
  Speaker 11: racist movies ever because it's effectively, he's Herman Goring. So
• 36:58
  Speaker 11: let's be real clear what Darth Vader is in the
• 37:00
  Speaker 11: scheme of things. The Emperor is Hitler and Christopher Lee's
• 37:04
  Speaker 11: character is effectively Goebbels. then that makes Hitler goring. And
• 37:09
  Speaker 11: he created the laser and built the Death Star so
• 37:13
  Speaker 11: that it could blow up a planet of innocent people.
• 37:16
  Speaker 11: And you're still like, he's cool. Fuck him. Fuck him.
• 37:19
  Speaker 8: Now, I just get, like, in re-watching those first, well,
• 37:22
  Speaker 8: especially the prequels, I'm like, I have to give Emperor
• 37:25
  Speaker 8: credit just for, like, the ridiculous amount of planning and patience.
• 37:30
  Speaker 8: As it goes on, I'm just like, all right, the
• 37:32
  Speaker 8: rest of you guys are idiots. Because he is so organized.
• 37:35
  Speaker 11: Right.
• 37:35
  Speaker 8: Like, you Jedi need to be defeated.
• 37:37
  Speaker 11: That's only because story-wise, he's just spackling every hole closed
• 37:41
  Speaker 11: with some Emperor nonsense. But Anakin is effectively, you're basically
• 37:46
  Speaker 11: saying it wasn't Goering's fault. He grew up, the Sand People,
• 37:52
  Speaker 11: use another phrase which is racist, killed his mom and
• 37:55
  Speaker 11: therefore it's not his fault that he became a genocidal madman.
• 37:58
  Speaker 11: It's just trauma.
• 37:59
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 38:00
  Speaker 11: No, I don't think so. Because... Luke Skywalker's aunt and
• 38:04
  Speaker 11: uncle and his parents were killed, and he stayed good.
• 38:08
  Speaker 8: Within a day, he turns around and goes and saves
• 38:11
  Speaker 8: the universe.
• 38:12
  Speaker 12: That's right.
• 38:12
  Speaker 8: It's such a weird time frame in that first one.
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: That's right.
• 38:15
  Speaker 11: Anakin spends a whole decade becoming a prick for no reason.
• 38:20
  Speaker 11: He's so beloved and caretaked. It's like, she's, but I
• 38:24
  Speaker 11: love you, Annie. It's so, oh, don't even get me started. Yeah.
• 38:30
  Speaker 11: My thing is, let a villain be a villain. I
• 38:34
  Speaker 11: like villains in many ways, like De Niro's Cape Fear villain,
• 38:40
  Speaker 11: or the like, where you're just like, I get that
• 38:45
  Speaker 11: this guy's got personality, but I don't like him.
• 38:49
  Speaker 8: Yeah. Well, and especially like that, that's a good example
• 38:52
  Speaker 8: of like, cause now our move is we want to
• 38:54
  Speaker 8: explain everything. We have to do a backstory and fill
• 38:57
  Speaker 8: in all the reasons why Mike Myers, why you want
• 38:59
  Speaker 8: to kill people.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: Like.
• 39:01
  Speaker 8: We need a weird trailer park beginning for Michael Myers
• 39:03
  Speaker 8: so that way he has a reason. I'm just like, no.
• 39:05
  Speaker 11: There is no reason.
• 39:06
  Speaker 8: He's the boogeyman. Let him kill people.
• 39:08
  Speaker 11: And there's no reason. That still doesn't excuse it. It
• 39:11
  Speaker 11: doesn't explain it. Plenty of people have lived and died
• 39:13
  Speaker 11: that way. Fuck them.
• 39:14
  Speaker 8: The Cape Fear example is great because it's like, yeah,
• 39:17
  Speaker 8: he's got a reason. You give his backstory, but he's
• 39:21
  Speaker 8: still a horrible human being.
• 39:22
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 39:22
  Speaker 8: There's no that makes up for it. Everybody's guilty in
• 39:27
  Speaker 8: that movie.
• 39:27
  Speaker 11: Yeah, Nolte manipulated the evidence to get him thrown in
• 39:29
  Speaker 11: jail but because Nolte knew this guy was a murderous
• 39:33
  Speaker 11: psychopath and he was concerned that this guy let out
• 39:37
  Speaker 11: would kill somebody else and that was exactly the case
• 39:40
  Speaker 11: you know so and he was creepy to sell that
• 39:44
  Speaker 11: reasoning so Nolte's character actually had this you know a
• 39:49
  Speaker 11: reason why he was, it gave him the creeps or whatever.
• 39:52
  Speaker 11: And you know, there's just some people out there, they
• 39:56
  Speaker 11: should be the villains and it's okay.
• 39:58
  Speaker 12: That's right.
• 39:59
  Speaker 8: We don't need to piece together a psychological reason. They're
• 40:03
  Speaker 8: just horrible. People are born that way. That's right.
• 40:06
  Speaker 12: Or they, they just decide that's more fun.
• 40:09
  Speaker 11: It's just, you know, that they literally get some, they
• 40:11
  Speaker 11: get more from it than they would otherwise. There are
• 40:14
  Speaker 11: people who murder and chop up their husbands or wives
• 40:16
  Speaker 11: for money, for insurance, for money or whatever. There's no like, well,
• 40:19
  Speaker 11: if his dad hadn't smacked him and called him an
• 40:21
  Speaker 11: idiot while he was playing basketball, that never would happen.
• 40:24
  Speaker 8: I don't necessarily buy that. Let them be a sociopath.
• 40:26
  Speaker 8: That's right. It's what they are. How about that?
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 40:29
  Speaker 11: And so especially when it comes to superheroes, when you're dealing,
• 40:32
  Speaker 11: you know, because I mean, ultimately, a superhero is a
• 40:35
  Speaker 11: monster that's on your side.
• 40:37
  Speaker 8: Yeah, basically. It could go horribly. And again, that's sort
• 40:41
  Speaker 8: of what they start dealing with in these new versions,
• 40:43
  Speaker 8: both DC and Marvel. It's just like, okay, there are
• 40:46
  Speaker 8: consequences when you go busting through a city. And, like, so, again,
• 40:50
  Speaker 8: that's sort of like the New World version of superheroes is, like,
• 40:54
  Speaker 8: the reality of, like, okay, where's the collateral damage when
• 40:57
  Speaker 8: you're done with this?
• 40:58
  Speaker 11: That's right. But the problem I had with, like, the
• 41:01
  Speaker 11: way they tipped it off in Civil War was that
• 41:06
  Speaker 11: she's trying to, you know, this guy sets off a
• 41:08
  Speaker 11: bomb in a market. There's all these people around. She
• 41:10
  Speaker 11: manages to hold it. to get him up in the sky.
• 41:13
  Speaker 11: And as he's floating up, she loses her strength and
• 41:15
  Speaker 11: is in a... How is that different from somebody trying
• 41:17
  Speaker 11: to defuse a bomb and it goes off? And it
• 41:19
  Speaker 11: goes off, yeah.
• 41:19
  Speaker 12: It's not their fault. They're doing their best to save it.
• 41:22
  Speaker 11: It would be one thing if she did it wantonly
• 41:24
  Speaker 11: or was laughing during it and then realized, oh my God,
• 41:27
  Speaker 11: I had become completely... She wasn't. She lost her.
• 41:30
  Speaker 8: Yeah, they're still trying to save people. It doesn't mean
• 41:33
  Speaker 8: it happens every time.
• 41:34
  Speaker 11: That's right. It's like you're saving someone from drowning and
• 41:36
  Speaker 11: you're like, I can't swim anymore. And you find something
• 41:38
  Speaker 11: to stand on. And what you found out later was
• 41:41
  Speaker 11: that was a person trying to swim to the surface
• 41:43
  Speaker 11: that you stepped on trying to pull this thing... And
• 41:46
  Speaker 11: you feel guilty about it. Well, you couldn't have known
• 41:48
  Speaker 11: that you were trying to save someone in the process.
• 41:50
  Speaker 11: It's not your fault. Somebody wouldn't go, you know, he
• 41:52
  Speaker 11: stepped on somebody and made them drown. That's not the story.
• 41:55
  Speaker 11: The story is I was saving someone.
• 41:56
  Speaker 12: That's fucked up.
• 41:58
  Speaker 11: And so when she's trying to float him up so
• 41:59
  Speaker 11: the bomb doesn't go off in the market and it
• 42:01
  Speaker 11: goes off against the building, it's.
• 42:03
  Speaker 12: The dude who set off the bomb who's the bad guy.
• 42:06
  Speaker 8: Again, he's the villain, remember?
• 42:08
  Speaker 11: And we all, like, how fast they forget that, how
• 42:11
  Speaker 11: the news media's like, Avengers destroy building.
• 42:13
  Speaker 4: Again.
• 42:14
  Speaker 11: They were trying to stop a bomb from going off
• 42:16
  Speaker 11: in a marketplace and it had collateral explosion.
• 42:19
  Speaker 8: Yeah, that's terrible. It's oddly realistic media in this world.
• 42:22
  Speaker 11: Yeah, exactly. Maybe that's what the story was ultimately about,
• 42:25
  Speaker 11: you know? They should have played more attention to that, like,
• 42:28
  Speaker 11: There was zero talk about that amongst the Avengers when
• 42:31
  Speaker 11: they were arguing about whether they should be manacled. That's
• 42:34
  Speaker 11: the other thing, too, is we've gone straight to, in
• 42:37
  Speaker 11: all the superhero movies, how do we manacle these people?
• 42:39
  Speaker 11: How do we tie up Superman so he can't fucking
• 42:41
  Speaker 11: do this anymore? How do we make sure that, you know,
• 42:44
  Speaker 11: if we had superheroes and they started fixing shit, we've
• 42:46
  Speaker 11: got to stop this. We all sound like Bilderbergs. You know,
• 42:50
  Speaker 11: just like people who own the world going, there's too
• 42:53
  Speaker 11: many good people. We need to stop these good people
• 42:55
  Speaker 11: from helping people. Like, would have fucked up you go
• 42:59
  Speaker 11: no i hope they clean up the world i think
• 43:01
  Speaker 11: that's great or whatever is there a superhero school can
• 43:03
  Speaker 11: i go.
• 43:04
  Speaker 8: Just in case we have to have a fail safe
• 43:07
  Speaker 8: when they decide to you know go off and start
• 43:09
  Speaker 8: offing people with their superpowers right yeah we always have
• 43:13
  Speaker 8: to have a backup.
• 43:13
  Speaker 11: Plan yeah and it was weird that like again batman
• 43:17
  Speaker 11: versus superman so he needs guarantees so that he can't
• 43:21
  Speaker 11: in case superman goes rogue and decides to destroy the
• 43:23
  Speaker 11: world meanwhile zod's body's floating around fucking somewhere with all
• 43:27
  Speaker 11: kinds of genetic material in it you might want to
• 43:29
  Speaker 11: take care of that yeah right how about the dude
• 43:32
  Speaker 11: who's actually tried to just like and when that shit
• 43:35
  Speaker 11: happened superman was trying to defend the world however ineptly
• 43:38
  Speaker 11: by destroying buildings in the process and you know collateral
• 43:41
  Speaker 11: but he was trying to stop the three people who
• 43:44
  Speaker 11: were trying to destroy the world still.
• 43:46
  Speaker 8: Didn't try very hard to get it away from the
• 43:48
  Speaker 8: city yeah i don't that'd be real nice if you're
• 43:50
  Speaker 8: like hey i'm gonna fly over here if you want
• 43:52
  Speaker 8: to keep fighting me i'm gonna be just on the
• 43:54
  Speaker 8: outskirts of space so yeah i that was just one
• 43:57
  Speaker 8: of those like he seemed to have no feelings what's
• 44:01
  Speaker 8: a just complete neglect for anything else.
• 44:03
  Speaker 11: That's why the terrence version was much better because he.
• 44:06
  Speaker 10: Was like the son of jor-el is running for me
• 44:09
  Speaker 10: you know He was so weak and afraid.
• 44:12
  Speaker 11: Again, they at least understood. And there were people in
• 44:15
  Speaker 11: the street going, what? Superman running away. It wasn't a
• 44:18
  Speaker 11: single person. He's trying to lead them out of here, man.
• 44:20
  Speaker 11: They're going to blow the fucking place up. One New
• 44:23
  Speaker 11: Yorker would have been able to answer all the questions.
• 44:24
  Speaker 8: Once again, though, in the paper, it'd be like, Superman
• 44:26
  Speaker 8: runs away.
• 44:27
  Speaker 11: Oh, yeah, right.
• 44:29
  Speaker 8: The spin on it once again. Chicken Superman.
• 44:32
  Speaker 11: That's what we've got. Chicken soup. Or man. I get it.
• 44:35
  Speaker 11: Product placement.
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
• 44:36
  Speaker 7: Mm-hmm.
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: It's intermission time. Time for refreshment. You're invited to visit
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: the refreshment stand, where you'll be greeted with fast, friendly service.
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: You'll find hot dogs, juicy hamburgers, and mouth-watering, delicious pizza.
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: And there's always a fresh batch of hot, buttered popcorn
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: to go with the rest of the show. So visit
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: the refreshment stand now. We're happy to have you with
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: us tonight, and hope you'll come back often.
• 45:39
  Speaker 8: We're doing Conan the Librarian. Oh, no, wait.
• 45:46
  Speaker 4: Never before in the history of motion pictures has there
• 45:49
  Speaker 4: been a screen presence.
• 45:51
  Speaker 6: So commanding, so powerful, so deadly.
• 45:56
  Speaker 4: He's Conan the Librarian.
• 46:00
  Speaker 8: Can you tell me where I can find a book
• 46:02
  Speaker 8: on astronomy?
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: Don't you know the Dewey Decimal System?
• 46:11
  Speaker 6: Conan the Librarian.
• 46:14
  Speaker 8: I'm sorry.
• 46:15
  Speaker 4: These books are a little overdue.
• 46:19
  Speaker 8: Conan the Librarian.
• 46:21
  Speaker 6: Tonight, only on U62. This episode is sponsored by World
• 46:26
  Speaker 6: of Leathercraft. Specializing in handmade leathercraft items with a specific
• 46:30
  Speaker 6: nod to the geeky genres. Whether you're looking for a wallet, purse, keychain, bracelet,
• 46:35
  Speaker 6: money clip, luggage tag, book cover, phone sleeve, laptop bag,
• 46:39
  Speaker 6: whatever it is, World of Othercraft has so much to
• 46:41
  Speaker 6: choose from. Plus, with genre themes like Star Wars, Doctor Who, Supernatural,
• 46:46
  Speaker 6: Cowboy Bebop, Magic the Gathering, and more, you'll let people
• 46:49
  Speaker 6: know you aren't messing around with store-bought junk. Your fandom
• 46:52
  Speaker 6: runs deep because you're carrying a handmade work of art.
• 46:56
  Speaker 6: And since you're a Movie Meltdown listener, you get a
• 46:58
  Speaker 6: special deal. Just use coupon code MELTDOWN25 at checkout and
• 47:02
  Speaker 6: get 25% off all orders over $ 50. Plus free shipping
• 47:07
  Speaker 6: on everything. So to find World of Leathercraft, go to etsy.com
• 47:10
  Speaker 6: slash shop slash World of Leathercraft. Or just go to moviemeltdown.com
• 47:15
  Speaker 6: and click on the World of Leathercraft banner at the
• 47:17
  Speaker 6: bottom of the page. Then it will take you to
• 47:19
  Speaker 6: their Etsy page and you can take a look at
• 47:21
  Speaker 6: all the geek-friendly products they.
• 47:23
  Speaker 4: Have to offer.
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: Hi, this is Lance Henderson, and you're listening to Movie Meltdown.
• 47:47
  Speaker 4: Listen if you dare.
• 47:51
  Speaker 6: It's time for Sofa Theater.
• 47:57
  Speaker 4: Slave.
• 48:01
  Speaker 11: Barbarian.
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: Warrior. Thief.
• 48:11
  Speaker 8: Conan.
• 48:14
  Speaker 3: They said you'd come.
• 48:16
  Speaker 8: A man of great strength.
• 48:18
  Speaker 4: Conqueror.
• 48:19
  Speaker 11: One who could crush the snakes of the.
• 48:23
  Speaker 7: Earth. Kill!
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: The bears are their own deaths.
• 48:39
  Speaker 4: He's evil, a sorcerer who can summon demons. Day of
• 48:45
  Speaker 4: Doom is here!
• 48:52
  Speaker 7: What daring! What arrogance!
• 48:55
  Speaker 9: I salute you.
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: Out of an age undreamed comes the most incredible adventurer
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: of all.
• 49:24
  Speaker 11: The man they call Conan. The Barbarian.
• 49:28
  Speaker 4: Coming to a theater near you from Universal Pictures.
• 49:35
  Speaker 8: Do you want to know what's best in life?
• 49:37
  Speaker 7: Well, let me tell you!
• 49:40
  Speaker 4: To close your enemies Sin is written before you Is
• 49:46
  Speaker 4: to hear the lamentation Of the women This is not
• 49:56
  Speaker 4: the open step Of yours No one felt this assurance
• 50:00
  Speaker 4: In the.
• 50:07
  Speaker 7: Wind In your hair It does not matter.
• 50:13
  Speaker 4: I figured we'd have fun.
• 50:25
  Speaker 11: Conan the Barbarian, the original with Schwarzenegger.
• 50:29
  Speaker 8: So let me do the little rundown here of the info.
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 50:35
  Speaker 8: This week's Sofa Theater feature is Conan the Barbarian, the
• 50:38
  Speaker 8: year is 1982. The director, John Milius, and the plot,
• 50:42
  Speaker 8: according to IMDb, a vengeful barbarian warrior sets off to
• 50:46
  Speaker 8: avenge his tribe and his parents, whom were slain by
• 50:49
  Speaker 8: an evil sorcerer and his warriors when he was a boy.
• 50:53
  Speaker 8: Spoiler alert. That's not the worst wording on IMDb. They
• 50:57
  Speaker 8: get worse than that.
• 50:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 50:58
  Speaker 11: That's pretty good. That's pretty close to what it is.
• 51:00
  Speaker 8: It's actually better than most of them.
• 51:02
  Speaker 11: Yeah, yeah.
• 51:03
  Speaker 8: So I guess... What led you to, were you always
• 51:08
  Speaker 8: like a Robert E. Howard fan? Or what led you
• 51:12
  Speaker 8: to Conan?
• 51:12
  Speaker 11: I used to read the black and white large size
• 51:16
  Speaker 11: Marvel Conan comic books when I was a kid. Because
• 51:20
  Speaker 11: I found that the fact that the blood was in
• 51:23
  Speaker 11: black ink made them even more frightening and scary than
• 51:26
  Speaker 11: if it was red and, you know. red ink always
• 51:28
  Speaker 11: looked phony to me or whatever, but a black and
• 51:30
  Speaker 11: white comic book where somebody get cut or whatever, it
• 51:32
  Speaker 11: looked painful. Yeah. And so it was a much more
• 51:35
  Speaker 11: visceral reading experience. And the, and the world they lived
• 51:38
  Speaker 11: in was bitter and realistic compared to a lot of
• 51:43
  Speaker 11: other stuff, you know, and it had magic and sword play.
• 51:46
  Speaker 11: And it also had, you know, you know, as a,
• 51:50
  Speaker 11: you know, as a preteen boy or whatever, like muscle
• 51:53
  Speaker 11: men or whatever there's an appeal to like that's what
• 51:55
  Speaker 11: i want to look like now how do i just
• 51:57
  Speaker 11: like those guys that's what i you know it's there's
• 51:59
  Speaker 11: a very big confusion um that we dealt with some
• 52:02
  Speaker 11: on queers folk uh about like oh young boys read
• 52:06
  Speaker 11: comics because they want to see muscular men like it's
• 52:09
  Speaker 11: homoerotic you're like that's only homoerotic if you're gay and
• 52:12
  Speaker 11: you want to sleep with them if you're if you're
• 52:14
  Speaker 11: straight what it is is that's emblematic i can imagine
• 52:17
  Speaker 11: myself I think you.
• 52:18
  Speaker 8: Pick a side there.
• 52:19
  Speaker 11: Yeah.
• 52:20
  Speaker 8: Which way do I like this?
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 52:21
  Speaker 11: Do I, yeah. I would want to be the receiving
• 52:23
  Speaker 11: end or the delivery end of this.
• 52:25
  Speaker 8: They balance it out with, there's not a girl wearing
• 52:27
  Speaker 8: clothing in any of those or the movies or any
• 52:30
  Speaker 8: of them.
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 52:31
  Speaker 11: Well the, the women in it were bikinis.
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: The best.
• 52:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 52:34
  Speaker 11: Uh, at that age you're like, you know, there's women
• 52:36
  Speaker 11: in like loincloth, you know, Raquel Welch, you kind of
• 52:40
  Speaker 11: caveman outfits.
• 52:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 52:42
  Speaker 11: Incredibly sexy, you know, artwork and that kind of stuff.
• 52:45
  Speaker 11: The Boris Vallejo covers and stuff. And the, like airbrush,
• 52:49
  Speaker 11: almost photograph quality pictures of women on there, you're like, oh,
• 52:53
  Speaker 11: ladies like that? I'm going to start doing push-ups. Again, yeah,
• 52:56
  Speaker 11: you can pick whichever side you want.
• 52:57
  Speaker 8: They're both represented.
• 52:58
  Speaker 11: Yeah, and the mythology of it that they only touch on... See,
• 53:05
  Speaker 11: I find that when you over-explain mythology, it becomes boring.
• 53:09
  Speaker 11: But if you touch on elements of it and let
• 53:11
  Speaker 11: your imagination fill in the gaps, it's pretty great. And
• 53:13
  Speaker 11: in Conan, they didn't have time... quite frankly, or the budget,
• 53:16
  Speaker 11: I would guess, special effects-wise, to tell the whole Krom backstory, essentially.
• 53:22
  Speaker 8: Which, again, I think I'm glad. Returning to the let's
• 53:25
  Speaker 8: fill in the blanks way too much, like we'll have
• 53:28
  Speaker 8: a whole Krom flashback movie with someone playing him. Or
• 53:33
  Speaker 8: with this.
• 53:33
  Speaker 11: Show kind of an ethereal backstory of him fighting and
• 53:37
  Speaker 11: who he was and the fall of the blah blah
• 53:39
  Speaker 11: blah and a big cg war between him and his
• 53:41
  Speaker 11: people and whatever the fuck happened.
• 53:43
  Speaker 9: Cloud coverage lawrence olivier one scene with uh the villain
• 53:48
  Speaker 9: from every which way you can um who played his
• 53:51
  Speaker 9: father yes um and i'm blitzing on that actor's.
• 53:55
  Speaker 11: Name or whatever but he was great just this gnarly
• 53:57
  Speaker 11: looking muscle dude who was great and a bunch of
• 53:59
  Speaker 11: stuff he was uh he i think he was a
• 54:02
  Speaker 11: murderer in the pilot for rockford.
• 54:05
  Speaker 8: Files nice also uh but another weird mythological land sure
• 54:10
  Speaker 8: you can live on the beach created by another guy
• 54:12
  Speaker 8: who created great mythological uh things who uh steven j
• 54:16
  Speaker 8: canel who created the greatest american hero as well and
• 54:19
  Speaker 8: the 18th yeah um uh but anyways so he gives
• 54:23
  Speaker 8: him he's telling young conan the boy this speech you.
• 54:26
  Speaker 11: Know about you know that you know the gods fought
• 54:29
  Speaker 11: amongst themselves and But our god is Krom, and he
• 54:33
  Speaker 11: lives in the earth, and he's the mystery of steel,
• 54:35
  Speaker 11: and that's why they're blacksmiths. It's a village of blacksmiths. Yeah,
• 54:39
  Speaker 11: the whole culture built around it.
• 54:41
  Speaker 8: They make swords.
• 54:42
  Speaker 11: They mastered the Bronze Age, and they're entering the Iron
• 54:44
  Speaker 11: Age before everybody else, so he's a master sword maker.
• 54:47
  Speaker 11: Totally explains the kind of talisman aspect of it, which
• 54:50
  Speaker 11: is terrific. Makes this sword, which is a little bit
• 54:57
  Speaker 11: like he makes this sword, And effectively, this guy comes
• 54:59
  Speaker 11: and steals it and kills him with it. And it's
• 55:02
  Speaker 11: almost where the story from Princess Bride kind of comes from.
• 55:06
  Speaker 11: My father slaved the whole year. And without a word,
• 55:11
  Speaker 11: the six-figure man slashed him through the heart. You killed
• 55:15
  Speaker 11: my father. That's right.
• 55:16
  Speaker 8: Your dogs killed my father.
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 55:19
  Speaker 11: So they come to the village. Here comes Thulsa Doom,
• 55:21
  Speaker 11: played by James Earl Jones.
• 55:24
  Speaker 8: As we were talking about villains, I was like, okay,
• 55:26
  Speaker 8: in a minute we're going to jump ahead and get
• 55:28
  Speaker 8: to another odd villain.
• 55:30
  Speaker 11: Cold fucking blooded, though. Cold blooded.
• 55:33
  Speaker 8: It's only taken down a notch by that haircut.
• 55:37
  Speaker 11: Yeah, but it's all Viking hair.
• 55:39
  Speaker 8: It is, but it's so weird. But again, we were talking.
• 55:41
  Speaker 11: About Kylo Ren taking his helmet off and his hair's fine.
• 55:44
  Speaker 11: He takes his helmet off, and it looks awful.
• 55:46
  Speaker 8: I'm okay with the long hair on James Earl Jones.
• 55:49
  Speaker 8: It's the bangs. The bangs just kill it. I don't know.
• 55:52
  Speaker 11: That was a period of the time.
• 55:53
  Speaker 12: Cut it out of your face.
• 55:55
  Speaker 8: You're a warrior.
• 55:55
  Speaker 11: If you're going to have it long, you're going to
• 55:56
  Speaker 11: do that. That's what they did. The Vikings had that,
• 55:58
  Speaker 11: so okay, fine. So anyways, he rolls into town. The
• 56:03
  Speaker 11: kids off in the woods sees him coming, runs ahead,
• 56:06
  Speaker 11: and gets there just in time to basically see the
• 56:08
  Speaker 11: battle going on. His dad kills a bunch of dudes
• 56:12
  Speaker 11: because his dad's an awesome badass, and then they set.
• 56:14
  Speaker 12: Rottweilers on him.
• 56:16
  Speaker 8: With battle gear.
• 56:17
  Speaker 12: Yeah, spiked up Rottweilers.
• 56:19
  Speaker 8: The reason Battle Cat looks like he does a few
• 56:21
  Speaker 8: years later.
• 56:22
  Speaker 11: They effectively tear him to pieces. The part where they're
• 56:25
  Speaker 11: yanking his body and stuff is just fucking rough. It's
• 56:29
  Speaker 11: really well done. Then you get to his mother. She's
• 56:34
  Speaker 11: holding her husband's sword, which is almost too heavy for
• 56:38
  Speaker 11: her to lift.
• 56:40
  Speaker 12: You know, and then, you know, Here comes Thulsa Doom.
• 56:43
  Speaker 8: Takes it.
• 56:44
  Speaker 11: He stands there and he uses his magic eyes to
• 56:47
  Speaker 11: get her to relax and lower her head. And then
• 56:49
  Speaker 11: he turns and cuts her head off.
• 56:51
  Speaker 12: And that shot, man.
• 56:52
  Speaker 11: That shot of young Conan standing there. And you just
• 56:55
  Speaker 11: see his mother's hair fall past his face.
• 56:56
  Speaker 8: Still holding her hand as her head falls off.
• 57:00
  Speaker 12: And then it slides out of his hand.
• 57:01
  Speaker 11: Fucking genius. I mean, what are you working with with
• 57:04
  Speaker 11: this kid actor? We have no idea. We don't know
• 57:06
  Speaker 11: what he's capable of. So these are limitations. Is this
• 57:09
  Speaker 11: kid even English? Does he speak English?
• 57:11
  Speaker 8: Is he some.
• 57:12
  Speaker 11: you know, Bulgarian kids.
• 57:13
  Speaker 8: You never know with these movies. Right.
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 57:16
  Speaker 11: They shot it, you know, in Romania or some part
• 57:18
  Speaker 11: of that. They go and they take him. They, you know,
• 57:23
  Speaker 11: march him across the land, this horrible thing. And then Mako,
• 57:26
  Speaker 11: the Japanese actor, is given the whole narration, you know.
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 57:31
  Speaker 8: He's my master.
• 57:32
  Speaker 11: It was a time of great sorrow for my master.
• 57:38
  Speaker 11: And they take him and they sell him as slave
• 57:40
  Speaker 11: labor at a mill. essentially, where they just walk people
• 57:44
  Speaker 11: to death.
• 57:44
  Speaker 8: Yeah, for his entire teenage years, basically. Yes, right.
• 57:48
  Speaker 12: Basically, like 15 years.
• 57:50
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 57:51
  Speaker 11: From when he's, you know, he's 8 until he's 28, essentially. Basically, 25,
• 57:57
  Speaker 11: something like that is the theory. And then he just
• 58:01
  Speaker 11: pushes it. He just outlasts everybody else. And the theory
• 58:04
  Speaker 11: is because vengeance. Vengeance.
• 58:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 58:07
  Speaker 8: Well, rightfully so.
• 58:08
  Speaker 11: You know, the sorrow of his life and the vengeance
• 58:11
  Speaker 11: that he's going to, he just holds his hate in
• 58:13
  Speaker 11: that moment and his mother dying of stuff is enough
• 58:16
  Speaker 11: to drive him. Carries him through it all. And all
• 58:17
  Speaker 11: you do, and they don't have time to show you
• 58:19
  Speaker 11: the whole thing until, like, he's just a monster. Pushing
• 58:22
  Speaker 11: this wheel is the greatest exercise program ever.
• 58:25
  Speaker 8: Obviously. You get to be Mr. Olympian.
• 58:28
  Speaker 11: Now, granted, the theory is that's not the only thing
• 58:31
  Speaker 11: they had him do. But he was probably in charge
• 58:35
  Speaker 11: of putting the thing on the spindle.
• 58:36
  Speaker 12: Every day after a while.
• 58:37
  Speaker 8: Just picking it up.
• 58:38
  Speaker 6: That's right.
• 58:39
  Speaker 11: But he pushes the thing until one day, 20 years later,
• 58:43
  Speaker 11: he's ginormous.
• 58:45
  Speaker 8: Again, is there more perfect casting? Well, that was the thing.
• 58:49
  Speaker 11: Here's the thing. Schwarzenegger gets a lot of shit for
• 58:52
  Speaker 11: his accent and his acting. But I can't imagine another actor...
• 58:57
  Speaker 11: Playing Conan and not seeming phony as fuck. And if
• 59:01
  Speaker 11: you listen to the Conan character and Schwarzenegger's acting in that,
• 59:07
  Speaker 11: there's only a couple of hitch points.
• 59:10
  Speaker 12: Where you don't buy it.
• 59:11
  Speaker 11: When it's being a little more Shakespearean in the language
• 59:15
  Speaker 11: they give him.
• 59:16
  Speaker 8: Which again is still kind of believable.
• 59:19
  Speaker 11: Because he's having a moment where he's trying to be articulate.
• 59:22
  Speaker 8: I think that's what it is. I think it works
• 59:24
  Speaker 8: so well because... Arnold doesn't, especially at that point in
• 59:28
  Speaker 8: his career, like now he pretends he's a fancy governor.
• 59:33
  Speaker 8: He's moved on to do all these other things where
• 59:35
  Speaker 8: he really does kind of have to carry himself as
• 59:37
  Speaker 8: being an intellectual. Whether or not he is is up
• 59:39
  Speaker 8: for grabs. But at the time, he just didn't really
• 59:43
  Speaker 8: seem like he was all that interested in that. He
• 59:44
  Speaker 8: was into working out. He was into fitness. He was
• 59:47
  Speaker 8: probably hooking up with a lot of ladies, if you
• 59:49
  Speaker 8: believe the story. So I'm like, this is the kind
• 59:51
  Speaker 8: of stuff he was into.
• 59:53
  Speaker 11: If you watch Pumping Iron, he's actually a smart guy
• 59:55
  Speaker 11: and very manipulative. He's very intelligent.
• 59:57
  Speaker 8: But again, it comes off so close to what I
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 8: feel like he was really like. I feel like Conan
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 8: kind of falls into a pretty similar situation. Where, like,
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 8: it is one of those I don't see anybody else
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 8: being able to play.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 11: Not at all.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 8: Because you jump ahead. Like, the other role that he's
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 8: known for and really good at, the Terminator, doesn't really
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 8: have to be him. It's a cyborg from the future.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 8: It was supposed to be Lance Hendrickson. That's right. So, like,
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 8: it could have very easily been Lance Hendrickson and the
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 8: movie would have worked just fine.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 8: But this, like you can't, it can't be anybody.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 12: It could have been Lou Ferrigno.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 8: You could have, yeah, you could have picked one or
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 8: two of those other guys, but I still don't know
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 8: that they would have had that dynamic that makes it work. Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 12: It's hard to say. I mean, the accent gives him something.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 11: And again, the Austrian accent works with the concept that
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 11: he's from Samaria and he's a barbarian more so than
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 11: if he spoke perfect English and you'd be like, oh,
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 11: he's just got to speak a little dumber. Like there's
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 11: the way of drafting that, character becomes a lot more
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 11: complicated yeah you know they i think the producer said
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 11: if we didn't have arnold schwarzenegger to play conan we'd
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 11: have to build one probably from scratch and it's true
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 11: they'd had to found some you know austrian or czechoslovakian
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 11: dude and and just trained him up and sent him
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 11: to acting school for a little.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 8: While english get pumped up yeah it's like starch and
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 8: um yeah but his little conversations with uh with the
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 8: thief that he discovers.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 11: You know the the witch that seduces him or whatever,
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 11: and he chucks her into the fire while they're having sex,
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 11: and she turns into this snarly, snorting beast, which is
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 11: very much out of the comic books.
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 8: Don't you hate when that happens?
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 11: Yeah.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 8: Making out with somebody, and they turn into a demon,
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 8: you know. An archer.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 11: What are you doing here?
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 10: Food for wolf.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 11: You know, like, that guy's on the same acting level
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 11: that he is, and nobody's actually outrunning him in that movie.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 11: Nobody's like, oh, shit, these guys are good. The only
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 11: people that really are chewing the scenery are Mako and
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 11: James Earl Jones.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 8: Which, again, you kind of need that, especially from James
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 8: Earl Jones.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 11: The gravitas.
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 8: You need him to be a little, you know, bigger
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 8: than life because he's playing this... ridiculous character to some extent,
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 8: but he also is like, he's the villain of this
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 8: guy's entire life. He destroyed his childhood, and now he's
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 8: come back to be the thing that's ruining even the
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 8: whole land at this point.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 11: He's Jim Jones, and the Manson family meets Cyrus from
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 11: the Warriors. Can you dig it?
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 6: Oh, man.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 3: That is power.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 11: Do you know the riddle of Steel Boy?
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's a.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 3: I've chafed for years at this demigod. Snakes in my
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 3: beautiful city. To the west, Nemedia Aquilonia. To the south,
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 3: Karth Stigia. Snakes everywhere these evil towers. You alone have
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 3: stood up to their gods.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 7: And what are you?
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 10: Thieves.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 3: Have you seen this? They call it The fangs of
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 3: the serpent. And this one was thrust into a father's
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 3: heart by his very son. And my own daughter has
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 3: fallen under this Thulsa Doom spell. Is there a dagger
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 3: such as this in her hand for me?
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 11: Max von Sydow, I think it is. He plays the
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 11: king who sends them on their mission to go get
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 11: the girl. And he wants to go kill this dude
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 11: anyways so you know we'll steal back the princess we'll
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 11: be we'll get the ransom but i'm gonna not before
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 11: i lop this dude's head off and i'm making it
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 11: personal perfect heist movie yeah if you look at it
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 11: was a bank robbery movie like yeah we're gonna rob
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 11: this bank but i gotta ruin this guy's life before
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 11: we do it you could take the conan storyline turn
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 11: it into a foreclosure Like, we lost our house when
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 11: I was a kid because of this motherfucker.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 11: And I'm going to make sure his industry falls apart.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 11: We're going to rob his bank, but we're also going
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 11: to make sure he, you know, loses his job. And
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 11: the process is like, no, if we stop from the
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 11: bank robbery, we're not going to get the bank. Like,
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 11: all that could work in a modern setting in some ways.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 8: It's also so minimal. Like, watching it this time, because
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 8: I'd seen it years ago and it had been a while.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 8: So going back and revisiting it this time, I'm like...
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 8: I think I expected it to be, probably because I
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 8: was going to say, if you came into that era
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 8: of the Sword and Sandal movies, which were on cable nonstop.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 11: Yeah, not really.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 8: They completely were the entire section in the VHS section.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 8: I'd seen enough of those that they have what are
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 8: seemingly pretty conventional movies. to today's storytelling they're very straightforward
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 8: in like the plotting where this is so minimal like
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 8: it is it is almost more of an art house
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 8: kind of a feel totally is because it's so minimal
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 8: in what they explain what they're gonna do and by
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 8: the end you're like oh yeah he's doing this and
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 8: but they don't just spell it out for you it's
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 8: a lot of like 20 minutes of like wait where
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 8: is he going And then by the end, you're like,
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 8: oh no, it does have a reason. It does have
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 8: a purpose.
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 11: It's well done in that regard. It's extraordinarily well done
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 11: for that. And in a way that the follow-up and
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 11: Red Sonja and those movies and Krull and other movies
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 11: that kind of fit that zone couldn't possibly do.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 12: This read itself like a straight-up Viking movie.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 11: I would put it more on par with Braveheart in
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 11: an early form than I would put it on with
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 11: any other kind of Knights of the Round Table. I
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 11: would align it with Excalibur, which came out about the
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 11: same time. Super artsy. In terms of its seriousness in
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 11: dealing with what was going on and its patience with
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 11: the story it's telling. Finding Krom, which may or may
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 11: not be Krom, and getting the sword... from those giants
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 11: who lived in the earth you know and but the
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 11: sword he's so big the sword kind of fits him
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 11: and then getting up and just knocking his fucking manacles
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 11: off for the first time with this big sword and
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 11: then the next time you see him he's wearing wolf
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 11: pelts from the wolves that were chasing him waiting for
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 11: him that's right yeah just like and this is who
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 11: we're dealing with now this is the dude and um
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 11: and he's not gonna let anything stop and then they're
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 11: you know, sleeping with hookers and they're doing some sort
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 11: of weird mushroom and chewing on lizard.
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 8: And, you know, again, it's really weird. Like that middle portion,
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 8: like eventually it gets to a more conventional, okay, now
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 8: he's got a mission. He's trying to do this.
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 11: Right now they're just looking. It's effectively the version that's,
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 11: that's the same thing in like the movie Nighthawks or
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 11: Cobra or something where they're just going down through the
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 11: red light district, knocking on doors. There's a period where
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 11: you're like, I haven't got a clue where these fuckers are,
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 11: so let's just start rounding up the usual suspects.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 8: Let's figure out what I need to do.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 11: Yeah, let's go bug people until we get a clue.
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 12: And then finally they go, looking for a standard, two
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 12: snakes facing each other, but they are one.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 11: You know, that whole thing.
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 8: It does seem like, yeah, the cop shaking down some
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 8: junkie on the street.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 12: Did you see this emblem?
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 8: It was on this guy's pin.
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 11: That's right, yeah.
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 12: You ever seen a tattoo like this?
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 11: Straight out of a lethal weapon.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 11: Lethal weapon. He had to paint. It was painted. A
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 11: tattoo like mine. Like mine. Like Popeye. Remember that business?
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 8: That's, yeah.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 11: Same fucking thing. They're just walking around looking for the medallion.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 8: That's kind of interesting.
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 11: Then he finds one, steals it from that place, wears it.
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 11: not realizing that these guys keep track of their shit.
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 11: And so when he wears it, they're like, that's the
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 11: one that was stolen from the place where the chick
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 11: was killed and they murdered my snake. Murdered my pits.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 6: My pits.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 11: And then the part where James Earl Jones turns into
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 11: the snake.
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 8: That was, again, it's like, I feel like in a
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 8: different movie, they would really showcase that. It's so like quick.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 8: You're like, wait, Did that just happen?
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 11: Yeah, you're like.
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 8: And then he's gone and you're like, okay, I guess
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 8: he escaped.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 11: Yeah.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 8: Because he turned into a giant snake.
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 12: Yeah, that's what he does.
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 2: Shit.
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 11: This guy's a real sorcerer.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 8: There's a reason you're still chasing him 25 years later.
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 8: That's right.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 11: That's why he.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 12: Looks kind of the same.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 11: You look really different and he looks the same age
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 11: because he's not human and he's... A shapeshifter and whatever
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 11: the fuck.
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 8: James Earl Jones.
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 11: And he makes a snake arrow, which was the creepiest.
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 8: A couple of times. Fuck.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 11: That was horrible.
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 8: I don't know. I still kind of want to get
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 8: into that. Is that an option? You can, you know,
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 8: snake arrow archery.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 11: Yeah, he pulls it and it just, he basically hypnotizes
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 11: the snake straight.
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 8: And can he turn back to a snake later? Because
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 8: then later they pick it up and it's still just
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 8: sort of a weird snake arrow. And I'm like, can
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 8: you then like, you know, if you're James Earl Jones,
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 8: can you bring it back?
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 8: Have it attack them at that point?
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 12: At one point, when it strikes the girl, it stays stiff.
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 11: And then when it misses... Or no, when it sticks
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 11: in the shield, it stays. But when it hits its mark,
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 11: it comes back to life. If it doesn't, it stays
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 11: stiff or something. So maybe that's where the magic is.
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 8: Again, I kind of like that. It never overdoes that stuff.
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 8: Because again, I feel like in later, cheaper movies, it's
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 8: just that's not it's nothing but that. And I think
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 8: there's such minor because it almost feels grounded for the
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 8: longest time. Again, it's kind of artsy and you're just like, OK,
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 8: so this is sort of real world. Oh, no, wait,
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 8: you just turned into a giant snake. but it doesn't
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 8: overplay that hand to.
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 11: Bring him back and cure him from his infections effectively
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 11: she has to fight off a bunch of demons by
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 11: hand they're going to cover him in sacred writings and
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 11: hopefully when they come for him they'll be able to
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 11: fight him off and if so he'll.
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 12: Live and if not his soul goes to Valhalla which.
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 8: Again never explained if you don't figure out all this
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 8: stuff tough luck which I feel like you don't do
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 8: I'm a wizard you know yeah I'm just like That
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 8: guy might just be crazy.
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 12: No fire burns up there.
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 11: No fire at all. I used to do a Mako
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 11: impersonation when I was a kid.
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 4: Nobody.
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 11: I started to say, even.
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 8: In the geeky world we live now, you're like one
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 8: out of a hundred be like, wait, is that.
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 11: Right.
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 8: Well, then the other sort of... I knew this because
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 8: I remember reading it recently, but as it came up
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 8: on the screening, I was like, oh, yeah, Oliver Stone.
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 12: Yeah, produced it.
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 8: Well, and screenwriter. So it's just like, this is a
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 8: weird turn, but I guess not. Like, it sort of
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 8: fits his mindset. Yeah. And especially as you get into
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 8: some of the way that it's structured.
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 11: And, you know, that whole conversation, it's a very Oliver
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 11: Stone turn on that prayer, where right before they're going
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 11: to have the battle against the oncoming forces, and it's
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 11: just the three of them, him, the archer, and Mako, And,
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 11: you know, they've got the girl as bait tied up
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 11: to the top of the thing.
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 10: And he's like, Grom, I've never prayed to you before.
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 10: I have no tongue for it. Many years from now,
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 10: no one will care why we fought or why we died.
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 11: You know, all they.
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 10: Will remember is that three fought against many. And if
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 10: you do not help us, then to hell with you.
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 8: That's my favorite part.
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 11: It's fucking great.
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 8: It seems like it's becoming oddly religious all of a sudden,
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 8: and then he just curses God.
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 8: He's just like, to hell with you. I'll do it
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 8: my damn self.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 11: That's right. It's great.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 8: I'm like, I'm more functional than you, God, so watch
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 8: me off these people.
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 11: And in the two worst booby traps ever... are the
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 11: same booby trap, and they were in Conan the Barbarian
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 11: and First Blood.
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 8: Yep.
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 11: Just the stakes.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 2: Oh, fuck.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 8: The trap. That weird little spin around version. Yeah.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 11: And when it goes through that dude, the music impact
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 11: at that moment, the sound that guy makes is super realistic.
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 11: The shucking sound of it going into him is one
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 11: of the most violent things I've ever seen in my life.
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 8: You also, again, it's one of those that catches you
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 8: off guard because they don't do that the rest of
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 8: the movie.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 2: No.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 8: He's just smacking people with a sword the rest of the,
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 8: and then all of a sudden it's Home Alone for
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 8: a second. You're like, wait, wait, when did they build that?
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 11: Well, you see him, he's sharpening that spike earlier in
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 11: the thing.
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 8: Yeah, you see them just like poking sticks into the
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 8: ground and like the most minimal way to do, okay,
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 8: this way they can't get through. But then that thing
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 8: shows up and you're just like, holy shit, what just happened?
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 11: I think there's actually a scene where he's twining high.
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 11: My mom just entered.
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 8: She's going to be all right.
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 11: Have a seat.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 2: Enjoy.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 8: She knows how messed up you are.
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 11: Yeah, that's right. We're doing a podcast, so hi. Say hello. Hello.
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 11: But they show him wrapping the twine and putting that
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 11: spike on what is the arm of that trap earlier.
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 8: On the sound part, the fact that there's so many
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 8: times when it's like, it cuts to those weird little
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 8: like noises that seem very dubbed in. And I'm like
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 8: somewhere there is just a role of Arnold Schwarzenegger, the
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 8: 30 odd foot of grunts.
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 8: Just like serious, just Arnold Schwarzenegger making Arnold.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 11: Like they will.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 8: Cut to him and they don't always Matt again. It
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 8: was early eighties dubbing and ADR. Yeah.
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 11: Especially when he's on the tree being crucified, crucify him.
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 11: On the tree of woe.
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 8: Just so many times, that was one of the few
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 8: times I was like, that could use a little polishing.
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 11: Yeah, and actually one of the best moments that Schwarzenegger
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 11: has is after they beat the snot out of him,
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 11: they tear his robe as he's falling on the ground
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 11: in front of him and he can barely stand and he.
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 10: Goes, you killed my people, you killed my father, you
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 10: took my father's sword.
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 11: You know, he's like losing his mind. And then He goes, oh,
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 11: that must have been when I was young.
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 8: Again, his performance is so good.
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 4: So good.
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 8: And it was interesting to see Schwarzenegger just getting beat. Like,
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 8: he's such the hero in everything they make later. Like,
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 8: the fact that you're just watching them just wail in, like, blood. And, like,
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 8: you don't see that.
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 11: And they crucify him.
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 12: They tie him up.
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 11: They put spikes through his wrists. There's a bird chewing
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 11: at him when he bites it. He bites it in
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 11: the neck to kill it and then laughs about it
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 11: when he's. Because he's about to die, and then he
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 11: sees Kumatai and Mako appear in the distance, essentially, and
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 11: then he laughs because he knows he's going to survive
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 11: and then passes out.
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 8: Crazy Schwarzenegger laugh.
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 11: Yeah.
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: Ha ha ha ha.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 8: Ha ha.
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 11: Ha ha.
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 4: Ha ha.
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 3: Ha ha.
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 11: Yeah, so, and then, and that scene where, you know, he's, effectively,
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 11: he's fallen in love with this female barbarian thief or whatever,
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 11: and they, basically, they, they're going to be married essentially
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 11: right before he sneaks off and she's clinging her to his,
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 11: him to her bosom and just kind of holding him
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 11: and like he's just said something and she's so good.
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 8: That's, yeah, that's like an oddly real moment there. That
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 8: whole little speech she makes to him before he leaves,
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 8: I'm just like, that doesn't even belong in this movie almost.
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 8: It's so well written.
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 11: Yeah, and again, you know, And then she dies on
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 11: his behalf, and then she shows up from Valhalla.
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 8: Again, that weird little flash for a second there.
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 8: Okay, this movie does whatever it wants.
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 11: That's how their reality works, is that there's this manipulation
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 11: of the gods that's constant and never-ending and kind of
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 11: catches catch can, and it's imperfect and impermanent, so any
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 11: time it shows up, it's not that bizarre, which is
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 11: kind of nice about it. And then it settles itself...
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 11: really well in that what they end with is him
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 11: years later with his beard, much like Max von Sydow,
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 11: covered in furs with his sword in exactly the same
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 11: position that Krom was in when he finds the sword
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 11: underneath the hill.
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 8: First off, you add Max von Sydow to any movie
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 8: to give it class and credibility.
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 11: Comes a time when gold loses its luster.
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 2: And.
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 8: Anything from Star Wars to Strange Brew, you add Max
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 8: von Sydow.
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 11: And all that matters is a man's love for his child.
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 8: That's all you need for credibility.
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 10: You think there's a knife like this for me?
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 11: Sticks it in the table or whatever. He's great.
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 8: And then it does this, because it is like that
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 8: era of like, we're doing some pretty weird things in
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 8: the 70s, but the 80s is when it kind of
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 8: kicks in with this weird... everything is about blood and
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 8: guts and everything becomes about the weapons that this hero uses.
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 8: It is this like weaponry fetishism almost, especially when we
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 8: watch them build the sword from the beginning. And the
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 8: whole thing is this arc about the sword. So I
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 8: don't know. Is that something?
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 11: I think that's an element of Excalibur that gives it a, a, a,
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 11: that steadies the story, makes it less about a barbarian
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 11: and more about a craftsman. And the idea that it's
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 11: a little more, it heightens the story to a quality level.
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 11: It's if then if he had just picked up a club,
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 11: you know what I mean? That if they were, you know,
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 11: pre bronze age and he just had a big, you know,
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 11: Lucille like bat that he carried around, it would have
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 11: really undercut the majesty of the story. And the, you know, the,
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 11: you know, the, kind of classical music score and all
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 11: that element. But they literally, it starts with the pouring
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 11: of the metal that forges that sword from the beginning.
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 8: I think it adds that legend aspect to it, too.
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 8: That it, like, literally, like, this is the making of
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 8: this thing that's going to, like, this entire family is
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 8: going to, like, come into play and be lost and, like,
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 8: redeemed and this villain and all of that stuff hinges
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 8: on the sword.
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 11: Will meet his end. by the thrust of this broken sword.
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 11: Because the sword is broken at that point.
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 8: By the end, yeah.
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 11: And it takes a couple of whacks to get his
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 11: head off, which is, again, another extraordinary choice.
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 11: That if they were going for straight up macho or something,
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 11: it would have been a clean cut like his mother,
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 11: but it wasn't. He just goes, and the first one
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 11: is like, this moment of fear where, you know, he
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 11: suddenly realized I'm mortal and I'm dying in this second.
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 11: And then he chops him again. And here's Conan straight
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 11: up holding his head up in front of all these
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 11: people are all frozen in fear because they're, Their cult leader, their.
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 12: God, is now dead.
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 11: He's holding the head. And then he just chucks it off.
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 11: And not only does he chuck it off, but it rolls.
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 12: Bounces down the stairs.
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 11: It rolls pathetically to a stop.
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 8: And had a really good sound. That was the good ADR.
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 11: That sounds like a head rolling down a flight of stairs.
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 8: They went through a lot of melons to get that noise.
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 11: And then it stops.
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 12: And then there's this moment of like... And everybody just
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 12: runs away.
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 11: And then Conan does this big, you know, walks down
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 11: the steps, sits there for a little while, just contemplating
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 11: what does his life mean. And he goes, well, first
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 11: thing I got to do is burn this dump down.
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 11: Picks up the big, one of the pots, the hanging pots,
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 11: and then just total, you know, hammer Olympic style, which
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 11: is perfect for his physique.
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 8: Yeah, for him.
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 11: And, you know, chucks it up onto the top part
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 11: and sets the, you know, it's great. I mean, it's so, like,
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 11: there's so much to it. The the oddly you know
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 11: child molesting style of the uh the bishop that he
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 11: steals the rope from i'm glad it wasn't.
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 8: Just me that got that vibe i was like that's
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 8: the creepiest delivery of.
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 11: Alarm that's what it is you know I'm shy and
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 11: I don't know how to, you know, but you should
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 11: bare your body. It's beautiful.
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 8: You should be proud of your body.
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 10: Is there someone we can go and no people won't see?
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 11: And here's a kid that more than likely, who's to
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 11: say he wasn't passed around some.
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 8: He knows what happened in the camp.
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 12: That's right, yeah.
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 11: And then he's basically an animal during, I mean, the
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 11: whole part where he's trained to kill, all those fight
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 11: scenes with the weird weapons he's got. That little montage.
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 11: is harsh his.
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 8: Arms are blades at that point.
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 11: You know and then they're like oh he's smart enough
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 11: we gotta teach him to be better at battle so
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 11: we'll let him learn to read and from those from
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 11: reading we'll teach him to learn battle strategies so more
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 11: than likely we can use him more than likely yeah
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 11: more than just pit fighting in case we have a
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 11: war but there never was one so they set him
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 11: loose you know and like effectively at one point he's
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 11: you know it was like my master was an animal
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 11: that had been caged too long you know Yeah. Again,
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 11: a killer Mako impersonation, I have to say.
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 8: Is that that turning point, though? Because that's the thing.
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 8: I'm trying to think of stuff that was that just
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 8: unapologetic about its violence and cutting off head. That 82
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 8: is just that turning point. It's like, there's some weird
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 8: 70s Texas Chainsaw kind of stuff. But even that's not
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 8: as visually as gross. I think Taxi Driver. Yeah, Taxi
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 8: Driver's pretty visual.
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 3: Scarface....
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 11: There was some, you know, it definitely petered off around 83.
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 11: I mean, you had Videodrome and you had, you know,
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 11: a lot of Cronenberg kind of stuff. Yeah, it's the
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 11: dominoes from that point.
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 8: It just continues to get weird, especially in the 80s. Like,
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 8: by 90s, they sort of turned a corner.
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 11: Late 80s, it got more cartoonish and more antiseptic. Even with, like,
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 11: Total Recall. That's right.
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 8: It is such a cartoon. Like, it's fun, but it's
• 1:20:47
  Speaker 8: such a cartoon watching him still die. doing the same acting,
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 8: more or less, but it still seems silly compared to
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 8: what's going on in this movie.
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 11: Yeah, not even close. You know, like, Running Man, you know,
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 11: you know, screw you!
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 8: Which is, again, if ever, like, they need to remake something, like,
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 8: Running Man is a great story.
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 11: It's a short story by Stephen King.
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 8: Yeah, which is such a silly version in this movie
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 8: that I would, if they ever did a serious, I mean,
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 8: now we're, it's been, you know, Battle Royale and Hunger
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 8: Games since then, but I'm like, By the way, I
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 8: was the only one that gets close to that level
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 8: of solid, frightening future world.
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right.
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 11: This was a little more like his Mr. Freeze era
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 11: Batman stuff. Yeah, pretty bad. It fits in that.
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 8: The only thing that saves it is Richard Dawson.
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah. His genius.
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 11: Who is actually a great Wayne Newton-style villain in that.
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 11: He and Wayne Newton in Ford Fairlane are my two
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 11: kind of dickish, cartoony villains in That's all you need.
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 11: Of that particular era.
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 8: Again, villains being villains.
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, man.
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 8: That's what we want. Until we decapitate.
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 12: Julie, you're fired.
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 8: You know?
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 11: Shake me, jazz. I love Fort Fairlands. It's a great movie.
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 11: But in reality, Conan overall manages to make a... It's
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 11: a genuinely good movie. It's the best opportunity for his acting.
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 11: Probably until True Lies.
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 8: Which I still don't love.
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 11: Yeah, I'm not crazy about it.
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 8: It's got problems.
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 11: Well, it's Tom Arnold is part of the problem. It's
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 11: a little too cartoony for him to be a... I
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 11: don't buy it. I like wacky sidekicks as they go,
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 11: but once you get up in the CIA world, I
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 11: don't buy it.
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 8: There's still something about that whole structure. I don't know.
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 8: It's such a weak point for Cameron, too. As solid
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 8: as some of his other stuff is.
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 11: But it also made a.
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 8: wrapped, ton of money. He's successful.
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 11: For what it was, yeah, it was like Bad Boys 2.
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 11: It was like, it satisfied its thing, but it wasn't, yeah.
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 11: Mom liked, my mom liked True Lies.
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 8: See, there's plenty of people that like True Lies.
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 11: Yeah, we love, you know, we love Jamie Lee Curtis anyways.
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 11: You know, Fish Called Wanda. Let's just say, one of
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 11: the most beautiful women in the history of film just
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 11: from her role in that.
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 4: What?
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 11: Trading Places. Trading Places, absolutely, yeah. Her top of the
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 11: scene in Trading Places is pivotal for most, gentlemen my
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 11: age and their growth.
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 8: It changed your life.
• 1:23:15
  Speaker 11: It did, absolutely.
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 12: Set the bar a little high, but it did. But
• 1:23:20
  Speaker 12: she's terrific in both of those.
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 3: There was a time, boy, when I searched for steel.
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 3: And steel meant more than.
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 4: Even gold or jewels. The riddle.
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 1: Of steel.
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 4: You know what it is, don't you, boy?
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 3: Shall I tell you? It's the least I can do.
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 6: Steel isn't strong, boy.
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 3: Flesh is stronger. What is steel compared to the hand
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 3: that wields it?
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 11: Look at the strength of your body, the desire in
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 11: your heart.
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 4: I gave you this.
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 3: Such a waste.
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 8: Well then, as we go on to the next one,
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 8: like are you, because it's rare that I find anybody
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 8: who likes one and not the other. And it's almost
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 8: always they love Conan the Barbarian, hate Conan the Destroyer.
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 8: Are you one of those that falls into that camp?
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 11: Yeah, I remember watching Conan the Destroyer, but I didn't
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 11: care either way. To me, Conan the Barbarian was so
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 11: kind of good that I don't, like I own Conan
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 11: the Barbarian.
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 12: I bought it on iTunes.
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 11: I have it. I watch it occasionally. I find it
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 11: a motivational movie. I find it very invigorating. What I
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 11: would call it is a masculine romance movie. If women
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 11: like romantic comedies, men like revenge fantasy stories. This is
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 11: a grand, epic revenge fantasy. Kill my mom, kill my woman.
• 1:24:52
  Speaker 11: I'm going to do everything I can to murder you
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 11: and all your kind. There's a romantic element to masculine
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 11: movies like that. Effectively, that's the William Wallace character.
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 3: The moment.
• 1:25:02
  Speaker 11: where they've slid his wife's throat, and he rides back
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 11: into town with a mace behind his back, acting like he's,
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 11: all right, kill me, I have nothing to live for.
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 11: And then when they get close, he starts beating the
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 11: shit out of him and declares war on England, effectively.
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 11: You're like, as a male, you're like, that's what you're
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 11: supposed to do.
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 8: You know, it's like the crow.
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 12: The crow, I would fall into that category as well.
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 11: And I think... it's hyper-masculine, but romanticized in a really
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 11: good way, where you are a hero, you will not
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 11: let that stand, you know?
• 1:25:38
  Speaker 8: It has that epic scale to it where I think
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 8: the sequel does. And the thing is, and I brought
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 8: this up on the Rocky episode recently, it's the same thing.
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 8: I think I saw the sequels way more than the original,
• 1:25:49
  Speaker 8: and in this case too, it's like the original takes
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 8: a very serious version of it. By the time you
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 8: get to, you know, Conan the Destroyer is the Rocky
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 8: 3 and 4 of this series.
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 12: Yeah, it's Bad Boys 2.
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 8: To me, it's actually really fun and entertaining, but it
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 8: knows that it's silly. I mean, it does nothing but
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 8: stunt casting. And then when you've got Grace Jones and
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 8: Wilt Chamberlain, I'm just like, it's nothing but playing with
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 8: that dynamic of like, okay, now these movies are making money.
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 8: How can we up the ante and make it a bigger,
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 8: possibly dumber version of it?
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 3: Right, right.
• 1:26:24
  Speaker 11: I would say that's true of Rocky IV, which is,
• 1:26:26
  Speaker 11: by the way, the highest grossing one of all of them. And, again,
• 1:26:30
  Speaker 11: another motivational movie.
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 8: Oh, yeah.
• 1:26:32
  Speaker 11: Very romantic. You kill my best friend, I'm going to
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 11: kill you in the ring. And you've got to be
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 11: willing to die to face me. That's great. 3, I
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 11: would say, is a little more closer in some ways
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 11: to 1 even than 2 just because it's a rebirth movie.
• 1:26:46
  Speaker 8: I said those three are great together. And there's some
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 8: good ones further down the line, but I'm like, that
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 8: arc of I'm a nobody, that's all I want to do,
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 8: kind of in the middle is that I'm climbing my
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 8: way up to being taken seriously, and then that, like, okay,
• 1:26:59
  Speaker 8: I've gotten super successful, I came from nothing, whatever. Becomes
• 1:27:03
  Speaker 8: of me now. I don't know how to handle it really.
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 11: Yeah, it's the Godfather arc respectively as well.
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 8: Those three, yeah, I think work really well as.
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 12: Its own arc.
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 11: It's a genuine hero story as opposed to an anti-hero story.
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 11: It's effectively told in the same way or whatever. And
• 1:27:15
  Speaker 11: I think Rocky Balboa in many ways was wonderful in
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 11: that it didn't even need the original movies to exist.
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 11: It could simply be without Rocky.
• 1:27:23
  Speaker 8: It continues a story that you didn't even need to see.
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 11: Need to know the beginning of. Right, yeah.
• 1:27:27
  Speaker 12: And that was actually true.
• 1:27:30
  Speaker 11: Rocky Balboa was based on the idea that Rocky Marciano
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 11: and somebody else, they did a computer simulation in the
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 11: 60s about whether or not him fighting this other person
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 11: would have won by a number of punches. Stats, basically, yeah.
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 11: They said that Marciano would have won effectively. That was
• 1:27:48
  Speaker 11: the storyline of Rocky Balboa, but it was the impetus
• 1:27:51
  Speaker 11: for Stallone to write the first Rocky.
• 1:27:53
  Speaker 8: Yeah, and then the whole thing that goes on between
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 8: him and Apollo, even as they're friends, which is a
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 8: weird turn, too.
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 12: Yeah, which is great.
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 2: I mean, I like....
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 11: The third one where he's come around and they're buddies
• 1:28:07
  Speaker 11: is just kind of beautiful. And so it really is
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 11: that meaningful idea of like, yeah, we fight for a
• 1:28:12
  Speaker 11: living and we're fighters and that kind of stuff. But
• 1:28:14
  Speaker 11: it is a game after all. And at some point
• 1:28:17
  Speaker 11: we have to forget that and recognize that once we've
• 1:28:21
  Speaker 11: gotten through this, it's like presidents or something. Like after
• 1:28:23
  Speaker 11: a while, no matter how much I hated you, we've
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 11: all been through the ringer the same way.
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 8: We understand where the other one's been and all of
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 8: the stuff we had to go through to get to
• 1:28:31
  Speaker 8: that point. so yeah it's.
• 1:28:33
  Speaker 11: Interesting but yeah so I don't I could care less
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 11: sort of about Destroyer Destroyer yeah honestly you know like
• 1:28:39
  Speaker 11: I said it was more like the comic books were
• 1:28:41
  Speaker 11: exaggerated and created and expressed in the first one and
• 1:28:44
  Speaker 11: the rest of them were just kind of it didn't
• 1:28:46
  Speaker 11: matter to me and same with Red Sonja it didn't
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 11: quite fit that and I didn't necessarily I don't necessarily
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 11: go in for fantasy, you.
• 1:28:54
  Speaker 12: Know, Viking kind of stuff.
• 1:28:55
  Speaker 8: To be that realistic?
• 1:28:56
  Speaker 12: Yeah, no. I just like that particular movie.
• 1:29:00
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:29:00
  Speaker 11: The same way I like Excalibur. You know what I mean?
• 1:29:03
  Speaker 11: Like the original one with, you know, Gabriel Byrne and
• 1:29:07
  Speaker 11: Patrick Stewart.
• 1:29:08
  Speaker 8: The most impressive cast.
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 11: Unbelievable. The number of people who came out of that
• 1:29:12
  Speaker 11: who had bit parts.
• 1:29:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 8: And then 10 years later, you're like, wait, he's in
• 1:29:15
  Speaker 8: this movie?
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 8: When did this happen?
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 11: They own everything. I mean, like, and Gabriel Byrne, it
• 1:29:18
  Speaker 11: was funny because I didn't even realize how much I'd
• 1:29:21
  Speaker 11: seen him Miller's Crossing is one of my favorite movies
• 1:29:25
  Speaker 11: of all time.
• 1:29:26
  Speaker 8: Everyone's amazing.
• 1:29:27
  Speaker 11: Every frame is a portrait. It is so well constructed.
• 1:29:32
  Speaker 11: The storyline is so intricate and impressive. The characters are
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 11: so well defined. John Pulido was wonderful, rest his soul.
• 1:29:41
  Speaker 11: Steve Buscemi has like, what, two scenes in it, and
• 1:29:43
  Speaker 11: he's spectacular. John Turturro is amazing.
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 8: Again, that's their money shot. The wood scene is like,
• 1:29:50
  Speaker 8: it makes the movie.
• 1:29:52
  Speaker 11: Nothing is sadder than a man chasing his hat, you know, whatever.
• 1:29:57
  Speaker 8: Well, on the sequel thing, would you be on board?
• 1:30:01
  Speaker 8: Because they've said for years that Schwarzenegger wants to come back.
• 1:30:04
  Speaker 8: if he came back to be that old king at
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 8: the end of this movie, if they skip, because I
• 1:30:08
  Speaker 8: think it was proposed that they were ignoring Destroyer, they
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 8: were ignoring the reboot thing they just did a couple
• 1:30:14
  Speaker 8: years ago, and it was just going to be a
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 8: bookend to the version that we just watched, and they
• 1:30:19
  Speaker 8: were going to pick it back up years later that
• 1:30:21
  Speaker 8: I guess is now the old version of Conan.
• 1:30:24
  Speaker 11: I'm for it. There's an element of, when they started
• 1:30:27
  Speaker 11: doing the Batman movies again, and they were going to
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 11: use the Dark Knight to carry it, At the time
• 1:30:30
  Speaker 11: they were doing it, Clint Eastwood was in the Heartbreak
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 11: Ridge era.
• 1:30:34
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:30:34
  Speaker 12: And he was buff as fuck at that point.
• 1:30:37
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:30:38
  Speaker 11: He was a actually built dude during Heartbreak Ridge.
• 1:30:42
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:30:42
  Speaker 11: He was working out constantly. He had big chest muscles,
• 1:30:45
  Speaker 11: big arm muscles. He would have been perfect as the
• 1:30:48
  Speaker 11: aging Batman.
• 1:30:49
  Speaker 8: The old grizzled Batman.
• 1:30:50
  Speaker 11: Yeah, the Batman on a horse who has that slumpy
• 1:30:52
  Speaker 11: moment where he's riding a Clydesdale and he looks tired,
• 1:30:54
  Speaker 11: but when he actually has to fight, he's still thick
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 11: and hard.
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:30:57
  Speaker 12: So, yeah, I would have thought he would have been
• 1:30:59
  Speaker 12: perfect for that. I don't... Here's the thing.
• 1:31:02
  Speaker 11: I think we're changing how we deal with aging in
• 1:31:05
  Speaker 11: some degree. I think Stallone is having a lot to
• 1:31:07
  Speaker 11: do with that because the man is aging muscularly, you know,
• 1:31:11
  Speaker 11: in terms of his muscles.
• 1:31:12
  Speaker 8: More muscular than he ever was when he was the superstar.
• 1:31:16
  Speaker 11: And there's a respect for that ability that you have
• 1:31:19
  Speaker 11: that there's... Like, my... The grandmaster of the.
• 1:31:25
  Speaker 11: The style of Kung Fu that I do, uh, Kung
• 1:31:27
  Speaker 11: Fu San Su is, um, uh, it was a golden
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 11: gloves boxer when he was in, you know, in the Navy,
• 1:31:32
  Speaker 11: I guess. And he like, He's older. He's an older man.
• 1:31:35
  Speaker 11: He's in his mid-60s. But he's a piece of iron.
• 1:31:39
  Speaker 11: This old man will fucking kill you. And so there's
• 1:31:43
  Speaker 11: an element of, I appreciate that more than just some
• 1:31:47
  Speaker 11: dude who's fresh out of the gym who's managed to
• 1:31:50
  Speaker 11: do it. And there would be something kind of amazing
• 1:31:52
  Speaker 11: and beautiful if he could pull it off and if
• 1:31:55
  Speaker 11: it's done with some level.
• 1:31:56
  Speaker 8: Clean the king now.
• 1:31:57
  Speaker 11: But who's just still stacked and... A big dude. Now
• 1:32:02
  Speaker 11: he would have to, like his workout schedule, it would
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 11: have to be, you know, an amazing regimen. Like unto
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 11: what Stallone is doing for the Expendables and the like.
• 1:32:11
  Speaker 8: Or I wonder if he's just going to be there
• 1:32:13
  Speaker 8: to sort of bookend it. Like is he going to
• 1:32:15
  Speaker 8: be the king and then send the new warrior off
• 1:32:19
  Speaker 8: to do the mission and most of the movie follows that. Eh,
• 1:32:23
  Speaker 8: it could go either way, I suppose.
• 1:32:24
  Speaker 11: Then it wouldn't be a Conan movie.
• 1:32:26
  Speaker 8: Yeah. But again, I guess if we're like, are we
• 1:32:28
  Speaker 8: going to hand the baton? Like, they always want to, like...
• 1:32:32
  Speaker 8: If he's involved, it then legitimizes who this next person is.
• 1:32:35
  Speaker 8: And if The Rock can't pull it off, I don't
• 1:32:38
  Speaker 8: know who.
• 1:32:38
  Speaker 11: Unless he's... Yeah, no, I mean, unless... Unless that person
• 1:32:42
  Speaker 11: is supposed to be... Those people really like me.
• 1:32:46
  Speaker 8: You can hear them in the back. Obviously.
• 1:32:47
  Speaker 11: The, uh.
• 1:32:50
  Speaker 11: Yeah, I don't know. I'm on the fence about it.
• 1:32:51
  Speaker 11: I mean, I would rather see a movie where an
• 1:32:54
  Speaker 11: old Conan raises the sword once again and leads people
• 1:32:58
  Speaker 11: as a giant old man.
• 1:33:00
  Speaker 8: Back out of retirement.
• 1:33:01
  Speaker 11: Yeah, who just stands up.
• 1:33:02
  Speaker 8: It's The Godfather 3.
• 1:33:03
  Speaker 11: And I don't want to hear any.
• 1:33:04
  Speaker 12: Untold for this shit jokes or any bullshit.
• 1:33:07
  Speaker 8: Oh, see, that's what I'm afraid we would get to
• 1:33:09
  Speaker 8: at this point.
• 1:33:09
  Speaker 11: Well, they do that all the time, and it's like,
• 1:33:12
  Speaker 11: you're just talking to hipsters with back problems. Fuck them.
• 1:33:16
  Speaker 8: You know what I mean?
• 1:33:16
  Speaker 11: There's an element of, I'm impressed by extraordinary people, and
• 1:33:21
  Speaker 11: I like the idea of seeing movies about extraordinary people,
• 1:33:24
  Speaker 11: and the idea that he would just stand again without any,
• 1:33:27
  Speaker 11: you know, even in Rocky Balboa, they were like, okay,
• 1:33:29
  Speaker 11: your knees are shot, you got calcification in your joints,
• 1:33:32
  Speaker 11: so let's just start making you so strong, anything you hit,
• 1:33:35
  Speaker 11: you break.
• 1:33:36
  Speaker 8: Yeah, basically. cool i feel like the the old guys
• 1:33:40
  Speaker 8: still kicking ass is its own genre now i mean
• 1:33:42
  Speaker 8: thanks to liam neeson basically like he.
• 1:33:45
  Speaker 11: I have a particular set of skills.
• 1:33:47
  Speaker 8: He changed that like because when he was young he
• 1:33:50
  Speaker 8: was never an action star like rob roy's the closest
• 1:33:53
  Speaker 8: he got maybe and that's not even close it's a
• 1:33:55
  Speaker 8: bunch of goofy dramas and like tear jerkers when he's
• 1:33:58
  Speaker 8: like still a young man that should have been making
• 1:33:59
  Speaker 8: action and then he Yeah, he gets to be, like,
• 1:34:02
  Speaker 8: in his 50s, and they're like, you know what? I
• 1:34:04
  Speaker 8: think you need. And then, like, now he gets older
• 1:34:06
  Speaker 8: and older.
• 1:34:07
  Speaker 11: Look at Keanu's making the John Wick stories. Yeah.
• 1:34:11
  Speaker 8: Amazing. Yeah, they're great. But then they all started. Then there's, like,
• 1:34:15
  Speaker 8: the Michael Caine old guy kicking ass. And then we
• 1:34:17
  Speaker 8: had Grant Torino. That's right. No matter how old these
• 1:34:20
  Speaker 8: guys are, it's like they're so damn pissed off and
• 1:34:22
  Speaker 8: grizzled that, like, they'll still kick your ass no matter
• 1:34:24
  Speaker 8: how old you are.
• 1:34:25
  Speaker 11: Dude, there are dudes walking around. Who are old as
• 1:34:28
  Speaker 11: fuck and hard as nails. And there's something impressive about
• 1:34:31
  Speaker 11: those guys. And I like the respect aspect of having
• 1:34:33
  Speaker 11: somebody like that, you know, in Heartbreak Ridge, the idea
• 1:34:36
  Speaker 11: that he was, you know, his particular, these young guys
• 1:34:40
  Speaker 11: were all muscular and making fun of him and kind
• 1:34:42
  Speaker 11: of jerking around all the time. But then this guy
• 1:34:45
  Speaker 11: turns out to be hard as fuck and saves their
• 1:34:46
  Speaker 11: life and he's this cigar chomping.
• 1:34:48
  Speaker 8: He comes up out of wars and these kids hang
• 1:34:51
  Speaker 8: out at the gym.
• 1:34:51
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 1:34:51
  Speaker 8: So it's like it's a different type of tough.
• 1:34:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:34:54
  Speaker 11: And I would love, you know, the silver hair, you know,
• 1:34:57
  Speaker 11: Ben Affleck for Batman helps a little bit and he's
• 1:35:00
  Speaker 11: a little thicker. I like the modulated Batman voice for
• 1:35:03
  Speaker 11: that very reason, you know, that he hides his.
• 1:35:04
  Speaker 12: Voice with a voice changer.
• 1:35:06
  Speaker 6: Instead of Christian Bale.
• 1:35:07
  Speaker 8: Yeah, right.
• 1:35:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:35:09
  Speaker 11: Or Pete Holmes, which is the unfortunate part of this
• 1:35:12
  Speaker 11: is that Pete Holmes was so great Making fun of
• 1:35:15
  Speaker 11: Christian Bale. People haven't seen the Batman sketches. They're just bulletproof.
• 1:35:19
  Speaker 11: They're so beautifully done. Yeah, and Matt McCarthy playing everybody
• 1:35:24
  Speaker 11: from the commissioner to whatever.
• 1:35:27
  Speaker 2: It's great.
• 1:35:29
  Speaker 11: So I would be for it. Yeah. I would be
• 1:35:32
  Speaker 11: for it as long as he plays Conan. And if
• 1:35:34
  Speaker 11: he goes to the gym and gets stacked like he–
• 1:35:37
  Speaker 11: Has been, even if he's old and stacked.
• 1:35:39
  Speaker 8: He's still got the arms now, but he's also got
• 1:35:41
  Speaker 8: a gut that's set in because he's an old guy.
• 1:35:45
  Speaker 11: But he could do something about that.
• 1:35:46
  Speaker 8: Yeah, he still knows the sit-ups maneuver, I'm sure.
• 1:35:48
  Speaker 11: Yeah, exactly. And he's got a narrow waist anyways. It's
• 1:35:52
  Speaker 11: physically how he is.
• 1:35:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:35:53
  Speaker 11: He never had a six-pack. He always had kind of
• 1:35:55
  Speaker 11: a flat four-pack, if anything.
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 8: It was the way old guys used to get ripped.
• 1:35:59
  Speaker 8: They weren't worried about being cut. They were just like
• 1:36:01
  Speaker 8: fucking solid.
• 1:36:02
  Speaker 11: Yeah, right. So, yeah, I think it's a great idea,
• 1:36:06
  Speaker 11: you know. And, you know, it's many ways why, you know,
• 1:36:09
  Speaker 11: like the Expendable movies, I can kind of go, I'm
• 1:36:11
  Speaker 11: on the fence about them overall. I just appreciate that
• 1:36:14
  Speaker 11: he went around to all these guys and brought them back.
• 1:36:17
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:36:17
  Speaker 11: You know, that he went, you know what, I'm going
• 1:36:19
  Speaker 11: to throw in, I'm going to throw Jean-Claude Van Damme
• 1:36:21
  Speaker 11: a bone. I'm going to throw in And he gave
• 1:36:23
  Speaker 11: Dolph Lundgren, effectively, the best role in all the movies.
• 1:36:26
  Speaker 8: Well, and even people that used to be his competition. Like,
• 1:36:29
  Speaker 8: there's even kind of that joke, even, like, midway through
• 1:36:32
  Speaker 8: their movies, they were kind of going back and forth,
• 1:36:34
  Speaker 8: putting in little jokes about Stallone and Schwarzenegger going back
• 1:36:37
  Speaker 8: and forth. How many people they were killing.
• 1:36:39
  Speaker 11: Or even, like, the visual. Rambo jokes.
• 1:36:41
  Speaker 8: Yeah, the, what is it, like, last action hero. Like,
• 1:36:43
  Speaker 8: there's the joke of him playing the Schwarzenegger roles and, like,
• 1:36:48
  Speaker 8: I think same thing with the twins when he's scoffing
• 1:36:50
  Speaker 8: at the Rambo poster or whatever.
• 1:36:53
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:36:54
  Speaker 8: They always kind of had that playful aspect. But yeah,
• 1:36:56
  Speaker 8: it is kind of cool that Stallone was just like, yeah,
• 1:36:59
  Speaker 8: even these guys who were taking my money away at
• 1:37:01
  Speaker 8: some point.
• 1:37:02
  Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
• 1:37:02
  Speaker 8: At least in video sales, it's nice that he's kind
• 1:37:06
  Speaker 8: of like, we're all old guys, we can all still
• 1:37:08
  Speaker 8: make these movies.
• 1:37:09
  Speaker 11: He's the Adam Sandler of action movies. He's just like,
• 1:37:12
  Speaker 11: let's bring in all my buddies.
• 1:37:13
  Speaker 8: As long as I'm making movies, you guys got a job.
• 1:37:16
  Speaker 11: That's right.
• 1:37:16
  Speaker 8: Rob Schneider, I'm talking to you.
• 1:37:17
  Speaker 2: Right, right.
• 1:37:20
  Speaker 11: And I've always liked Stallone for that very reason. It's
• 1:37:24
  Speaker 11: funny when you look at Chris Evans and everybody's like,
• 1:37:28
  Speaker 11: what great shape he's in for.
• 1:37:31
  Speaker 12: The Avengers movies. You're like, I'm glad he works out.
• 1:37:34
  Speaker 12: That's lovely.
• 1:37:35
  Speaker 11: But he's nowhere near Stallone and Dolph Lundgren in Rocky IV.
• 1:37:41
  Speaker 11: Those guys look like superheroes. They fucking look airbrushed.
• 1:37:46
  Speaker 8: Basically.
• 1:37:47
  Speaker 11: It was crazy. Same thing with Schwarzenegger in Conan. There's
• 1:37:51
  Speaker 11: an element of just like, God damn.
• 1:37:53
  Speaker 8: Especially the Schwarzenegger one. This was his career. This was
• 1:37:57
  Speaker 8: his life.
• 1:37:58
  Speaker 12: Seven time Mr. Olympia.
• 1:38:00
  Speaker 8: There's a reason he looks that damn good. In Rocky
• 1:38:03
  Speaker 8: they were just so dedicated. We gotta make this real.
• 1:38:06
  Speaker 11: Super impressive.
• 1:38:08
  Speaker 8: To the point where.
• 1:38:12
  Speaker 11: Like Mr. T was having to work out so hard
• 1:38:15
  Speaker 11: just to make it look like he was more dangerous
• 1:38:18
  Speaker 11: than Stallone because Stallone was just getting jacked at that point.
• 1:38:23
  Speaker 11: And again, in all those situations, it was not Rocky's fault.
• 1:38:30
  Speaker 11: There was no point where if Conan was written now,
• 1:38:37
  Speaker 11: the little boy would have made a noise in the
• 1:38:39
  Speaker 11: forest that drew the attention of the bad guys. And
• 1:38:41
  Speaker 11: ultimately that's what would have led them back. And it
• 1:38:43
  Speaker 11: would have been his fault. Kinda. Now we never would
• 1:38:45
  Speaker 11: have found, we never would have found your village.
• 1:38:48
  Speaker 12: If you hadn't been blah, blah, blah for you.
• 1:38:51
  Speaker 11: Don't go to the next village and get candy from
• 1:38:53
  Speaker 11: there or whatever. And then they follow him back and like, Honestly,
• 1:38:56
  Speaker 11: they would load some shit like that. So it's not
• 1:38:58
  Speaker 11: even James Earl Jones' fault.
• 1:39:00
  Speaker 12: He just does what he does, and you let him
• 1:39:02
  Speaker 12: back here.
• 1:39:02
  Speaker 8: It would have been fine had you not come along, Conan.
• 1:39:05
  Speaker 11: Yeah, there was a little bit of that, like, I
• 1:39:07
  Speaker 11: made you, boy.
• 1:39:08
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:39:08
  Speaker 11: You know, where he tries to take credit for you.
• 1:39:10
  Speaker 11: If I hadn't given you this hate in your heart,
• 1:39:12
  Speaker 11: you wouldn't have been so great. I'm like, I don't know,
• 1:39:14
  Speaker 11: his dad was kind of jacked, and they were kind
• 1:39:16
  Speaker 11: of doing fine. Like, everybody in that village was a
• 1:39:19
  Speaker 11: bit thick.
• 1:39:20
  Speaker 8: Well, it was kind of fun, though, at the very end,
• 1:39:22
  Speaker 8: by the time he was like... son like he really
• 1:39:25
  Speaker 8: was like bringing it on.
• 1:39:26
  Speaker 12: To that but that's also how he works as a
• 1:39:28
  Speaker 12: cult but.
• 1:39:28
  Speaker 8: Again i like that also because that's how like egomaniacal
• 1:39:32
  Speaker 8: he was he was just like oh by the way
• 1:39:34
  Speaker 8: i'm in addition to this entire cult like i created
• 1:39:37
  Speaker 8: you all these amazing things you've done wouldn't have happened
• 1:39:39
  Speaker 8: without me like he's just everything centers around.
• 1:39:42
  Speaker 11: That's right that's right it fits perfect and that's again
• 1:39:45
  Speaker 11: with the you know the you know that's where the
• 1:39:47
  Speaker 11: That works fine in that context. It's great because you
• 1:39:50
  Speaker 11: can believe it or not believe it. You can say, yeah,
• 1:39:52
  Speaker 11: it probably is responsible. That's what drove him to do it.
• 1:39:55
  Speaker 11: Or you can go, nah, he would have just probably
• 1:39:58
  Speaker 11: had to fight a lot because he grew up in
• 1:39:59
  Speaker 11: that village and that's how they lived. And fuck you, dude.
• 1:40:02
  Speaker 12: You're just an egomaniacal asshole. It allows you that room.
• 1:40:06
  Speaker 11: Today they would make it no question that that was
• 1:40:09
  Speaker 11: the case.
• 1:40:10
  Speaker 8: Yeah, directly leading. Which now it's like he would have,
• 1:40:13
  Speaker 8: you know, he has to kill this character. In a
• 1:40:16
  Speaker 8: different situation, he probably just would have killed a lot
• 1:40:18
  Speaker 8: of other guys.
• 1:40:18
  Speaker 12: Yes, that's right.
• 1:40:19
  Speaker 8: He wouldn't have been gunning for you so much.
• 1:40:20
  Speaker 11: That's right, that's right. Back then, villages just fought villages,
• 1:40:23
  Speaker 11: and those guys made swords. There's no fucking way he
• 1:40:26
  Speaker 11: wouldn't have grown up not knowing how to use one.
• 1:40:28
  Speaker 11: And his dad, again, was thick as fuck and was
• 1:40:31
  Speaker 11: the villain in Every Which Way Believes, who turned out
• 1:40:35
  Speaker 11: to be kind of a good guy after he broke
• 1:40:37
  Speaker 11: Clint Eastwood's arm, and Clint Eastwood was still able to
• 1:40:39
  Speaker 11: beat him with one arm.
• 1:40:40
  Speaker 6: It's the Apollo.
• 1:40:41
  Speaker 11: Underneath a big arc of deer antlers in Denver, Colorado
• 1:40:45
  Speaker 11: or wherever the hell they were.
• 1:40:47
  Speaker 8: So we've come full circle.
• 1:40:48
  Speaker 11: Yes, we have.
• 1:40:49
  Speaker 8: Every which way but loose.
• 1:40:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:40:51
  Speaker 11: Which is one of my favorite pulp movies to just
• 1:40:55
  Speaker 11: watch for fun. But the opening song where it's Ray
• 1:40:57
  Speaker 11: Charles and Clint Eastwood singing a song, Beers to You.
• 1:41:02
  Speaker 12: Beers to you, my old amigo.
• 1:41:07
  Speaker 8: Clint sang a lot of stuff over there and I
• 1:41:09
  Speaker 8: just realized that because now I put together like a
• 1:41:12
  Speaker 8: spin off show of music from movies and like I
• 1:41:14
  Speaker 8: keep finding more and more versions of Clint singing something
• 1:41:17
  Speaker 8: and I'm just like when is he not singing and
• 1:41:20
  Speaker 8: nobody ever seemed to acknowledge it I.
• 1:41:23
  Speaker 11: Guess he's a pretty good piano player he's a great jazz.
• 1:41:26
  Speaker 8: Piano player him and.
• 1:41:28
  Speaker 11: Chevy Chase both amazing piano players as it were not
• 1:41:31
  Speaker 11: as good as Dudley Moore who was amazing I actually,
• 1:41:35
  Speaker 11: one of my early jobs in the industry when I
• 1:41:39
  Speaker 11: lived in LA, when I first moved out there was
• 1:41:42
  Speaker 11: I had studied audio engineering from a teacher at Columbia
• 1:41:45
  Speaker 11: in Chicago so I could record my own albums with
• 1:41:48
  Speaker 11: my band and stuff. So I knew a lot about
• 1:41:49
  Speaker 11: sound engineering.
• 1:41:50
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:41:50
  Speaker 11: And a friend worked for somebody as an assistant who
• 1:41:54
  Speaker 11: was throwing a fundraiser in Beverly Hills and And Dudley
• 1:41:58
  Speaker 11: Moore was playing piano at the thing. He was going
• 1:42:00
  Speaker 11: to do a piano recital.
• 1:42:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:42:02
  Speaker 11: And so I miked his piano and met him, you know,
• 1:42:05
  Speaker 11: as the guy miking his piano.
• 1:42:06
  Speaker 8: And watched him as he just effortlessly, like, killed it.
• 1:42:10
  Speaker 12: Amongst being fucking bulletproof funny.
• 1:42:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:42:15
  Speaker 11: Yeah. It's like, yeah. Don't get me started on Best Defense,
• 1:42:18
  Speaker 11: one of the most misunderstood comedies of all time. Like
• 1:42:21
  Speaker 11: too smart for the room. So goddamn funny.
• 1:42:24
  Speaker 8: We should save that for the next.
• 1:42:25
  Speaker 11: We will do it. Best defense is the next one.
• 1:42:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:42:29
  Speaker 8: All right. Well, as we're wrapping up, yeah, you, you've
• 1:42:31
  Speaker 8: got to go perform. Uh, where should people go to
• 1:42:34
  Speaker 8: find you in future or all your projects?
• 1:42:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:42:37
  Speaker 11: Twitter always is a great way to, is the linchpin
• 1:42:40
  Speaker 11: for all that. And of course the house parks, Fang
• 1:42:41
  Speaker 11: page on, uh, on, uh, um, Facebook. And then, uh, YouTube,
• 1:42:48
  Speaker 11: the Hal Sparks channel, and every Saturday I stream my
• 1:42:53
  Speaker 11: radio show so people can watch that. It's a political talk.
• 1:42:56
  Speaker 11: And then I'm on tour, so just keep an eye
• 1:42:59
  Speaker 11: out and show up. And then I'm on Fuller House.
• 1:43:02
  Speaker 11: That comes out December 9th, and we'll be playing on
• 1:43:05
  Speaker 11: Netflix so you can watch it at your leisure.
• 1:43:08
  Speaker 8: Binge it.
• 1:43:08
  Speaker 11: Yeah, and then the next season I think we start
• 1:43:10
  Speaker 11: shooting in April or May.
• 1:43:13
  Speaker 8: And, yeah, that's it.
• 1:43:14
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 1:43:15
  Speaker 8: Well, thank you for being here with us. Yeah.
• 1:43:17
  Speaker 6: Cheers.
• 1:43:18
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 1:43:18
  Speaker 8: Otherwise, that about does it. We will return next time.
• 1:43:20
  Speaker 8: Same geek feed. Thanks for listening.
• 1:43:40
  Speaker 5: A shy little boy, I couldn't protect them.
• 1:43:43
  Speaker 1: Helpless and timid, as weak as a girl.
• 1:43:46
  Speaker 5: They butchered my people, the dogs ate my father. My
• 1:43:49
  Speaker 5: mother beheaded, they took my whole world. Chrom, where is
• 1:43:57
  Speaker 5: the wizard who killed my mother? Still, I can recall
• 1:44:03
  Speaker 5: his terrible gaze. Chrom, where are the two snakes facing
• 1:44:09
  Speaker 5: each other? Chrom, if you're my god, then show me
• 1:44:15
  Speaker 5: the way.
• 1:44:18
  Speaker 6: I'm on the.
• 1:44:19
  Speaker 5: Path, chopping up bodies, packing and slicing, and look at
• 1:44:23
  Speaker 5: me now. With loyal friends, joining my party, each step
• 1:44:27
  Speaker 5: I take, I'm fulfilling my vow. Crush your enemies, see
• 1:44:33
  Speaker 5: them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of the women.
• 1:44:38
  Speaker 5: Hear the lamentation of the women. Trust your enemies.
• 1:44:43
  Speaker 11: See them driven before you.
• 1:44:46
  Speaker 8: And hear the lamentation of the women.
• 1:44:49
  Speaker 7: Hear the lamentation of the women.
• 1:44:52
  Speaker 5: Come, show me the wizard who killed my mother.
• 1:44:58
  Speaker 8: True, I've never prayed to you before.
• 1:45:03
  Speaker 5: Still, what would I give if you could help me
• 1:45:07
  Speaker 5: see this through?
• 1:45:09
  Speaker 1: And if you do not listen.
• 1:45:12
  Speaker 5: And the hell with you.
• 1:45:14
  Speaker 7: The hell with you.
• 1:45:18
  Speaker 5: Clam, where are the two snakes racing each other?
• 1:45:23
  Speaker 3: Clam, if you're my.
• 1:45:25
  Speaker 5: God, then show me the way.
• 1:45:29
  Speaker 1: Clam, if you're my god, then show me the way.
• 1:45:34
  Speaker 8: I swear this wizard will fall.
• 1:45:37
  Speaker 5: Cause this has begun. They murdered them all.
• 1:45:39
  Speaker 8: I'm the last one.
• 1:45:41
  Speaker 11: I issued the call.
• 1:45:42
  Speaker 5: Revenge for my mom.
• 1:45:44
  Speaker 4: I pray to you God.
• 1:45:52
  Speaker 1: Crush your enemies. See them driven before you. And hear
• 1:46:01
  Speaker 1: the lamentation of the women.
• 1:46:09
  Speaker 8: There's a little.
• 1:46:10
  Speaker 11: I know. Yeah, show's about to start.
• 1:46:16
  Speaker 8: It's okay.
• 1:46:16
  Speaker 11: My mom's worried that I'm going to miss my own show.
• 1:46:19
  Speaker 11: Thank you.
• 1:46:20
  Speaker 10: Go downstairs.
• 1:46:21
  Speaker 11: Can you make sure that they got in okay, tickets-wise? Yeah.
• 1:46:25
  Speaker 11: I love you. I'll see you in a little bit. Enjoy.
• 1:46:27
  Speaker 11: And then.
• 1:46:31
  Speaker 6: This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and
• 1:46:34
  Speaker 6: edited by The Oddity Studios, with opening music performed by
• 1:46:37
  Speaker 6: The Empires. For more on how to sponsor or support
• 1:46:40
  Speaker 6: the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com.
• 1:46:43
  Speaker 2: Talk hard!