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Questions Teens Have about Unsafe Content · Gospel Tech with Nathan Sutherland

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Speaker 1: Purposely, your life, God's purpose. More podcasts at Purposely.com. I
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Speaker 1: had the opportunity to get a survey to some students recently,
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Speaker 1: high school students. The top three questions I got were,
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Speaker 1: how can I avoid unhealthy images online? What do I
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Speaker 1: do if unhealthy images appear unexpectedly? And this is a
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Speaker 1: Christian school. So the third one is how does forgiveness, grace,
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Speaker 1: and accountability fit into this topic? So those are respectively,
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Speaker 1: there were 72 students surveyed, 36 students. So 50% of students,
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Speaker 1: 49% of students, and 42% of students got those. The
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Speaker 1: lowest number, by the way, is one in five students
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Speaker 1: asking this. I don't have time to address all of
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Speaker 1: them today, but I thought it'd be really helpful for
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Speaker 1: parents and teachers and pastors and mentors to To just
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Speaker 1: address these top three, if 50% of high schoolers are
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Speaker 1: asking this question in a Christian school, and again, just 72,
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Speaker 1: that's a small number, but it's not infinitesimal. It's not
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Speaker 1: N equals one. We've got 72 kids and half of
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Speaker 1: them ask, how do we avoid it online? Well, let's
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Speaker 1: tell them. So in this conversation, how do we avoid it?
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Speaker 1: What do we do when it appears? And what does forgiveness, grace,
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Speaker 1: and accountability look like in this conversation of unsafe images? First,
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Speaker 1: there's five things we can do to avoid it online first.
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Speaker 1: The simple but not easy answer is don't do social media.
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Speaker 1: Social media is the number one way kids are running
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Speaker 1: into unsafe images online. And by kids, I mean anyone
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Speaker 1: who's a minor. We know that three quarters of them
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Speaker 1: have seen it. 58% of them have seen it on accident.
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Speaker 1: Just avoid social media and your life gets infinitesimally better.
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Speaker 1: But you're going to run it in on other people's
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Speaker 1: devices because smartphones are the number one way kids are
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Speaker 1: engaging it. So they're going to run into it in buses,
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Speaker 1: and at friends' houses and in the lunchroom and in
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Speaker 1: the hallways. And like schools, you can do a great
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Speaker 1: job supporting teachers and kids by disallowing smartphones during the
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Speaker 1: school day, during the entire school day, during lunch, during
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Speaker 1: passing period. They can bring it to school and you
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Speaker 1: can have any number of systems for locking that down.
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Speaker 1: They can turn it into the first period teacher. They
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Speaker 1: can put it in a little bag and carry it
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Speaker 1: around with them. They can do whatever. Yeah, you have
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Speaker 1: kids with burner phones, but generally, as long as everyone
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Speaker 1: is missing out on the experience, we are not seeing
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Speaker 1: nationally A massive pushback from kids. What we are seeing
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Speaker 1: is parents, and generally they go, but my kid's safety.
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Speaker 1: And there's an argument for that, and I get it.
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Speaker 1: But we have yet to see any statistics tell us
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Speaker 1: that there is a better outcome in general when kids
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Speaker 1: start texting their parents during terrible events. You won't find
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Speaker 1: those studies. They don't exist. Pro-parent groups can't find them,
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Speaker 1: and pro-kids groups cannot find them. What we do know
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Speaker 1: is that those kids listening to their teachers and being
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Speaker 1: present in that moment is the safest thing for them.
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Speaker 1: So there is no actual research to parents us pushing
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Speaker 1: back and saying, but I need to make sure I'm
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Speaker 1: holding my kid. Usually what actually we want is to
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Speaker 1: make sure we can talk to them all day long
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Speaker 1: because we miss them and love them. And we want
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Speaker 1: to make sure that they have their baseball club for
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Speaker 1: their game and that they turned in their homework and
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Speaker 1: that their friends are being nice to them. How do
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Speaker 1: they feel right now? What would they like for dinner? Like,
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Speaker 1: they don't need that constant access. And really, they can
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Speaker 1: send you an email. Like, they generally have access to
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Speaker 1: that stuff. So parents, it's usually not the kids who
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Speaker 1: are actually making a stink. I bring that up because
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Speaker 1: the easiest thing we can do is just not do
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Speaker 1: social media, but it's not reasonable. what do we do?
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Speaker 1: Like they want social media. They're old enough. They're 16.
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Speaker 1: They've asked for it. They're responsible in real life, but
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Speaker 1: we want them to avoid unsafe images. Avoid TikTok like
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Speaker 1: the plague. 1A, uh, it hasn't, there's no meaningful way
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Speaker 1: to protect it. The parental controls are laughable. The minor
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Speaker 1: controls aren't real. Like you'd still get unhealthy content. It's
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Speaker 1: better than the other stuff, but like anyone, Wall Street
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Speaker 1: Journal did this, um, Common Sense Media did this. Protect
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Speaker 1: Young Eyes did this. Bark did this. They make accounts
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Speaker 1: as minors and then just go online to see what happens,
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Speaker 1: and it's not good. So avoid it. Then set parental controls.
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Speaker 1: So if you're on, for example, Instagram, there are some meaningful,
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Speaker 1: as of 2026, there are some meaningful parental controls. at
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Speaker 1: least it appears so, on Instagram. So use parental controls
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Speaker 1: if you're going to have it again. You're old enough,
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Speaker 1: you're healthy enough, and you've asked for this. Train the algorithm.
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Speaker 1: It is possible to only like people that give you
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Speaker 1: content that you want and that would be healthy. It's
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Speaker 1: going to be harder if what you want and is
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Speaker 1: healthy is like you're super passionate about cheer and dance.
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Speaker 1: It is harder to train the algorithm for that, but
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Speaker 1: it isn't impossible. You can downvote and you can dislike
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Speaker 1: things that are especially unhelpful. If you just want to
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Speaker 1: be part of it, you could train it, for example,
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Speaker 1: only to give you Bible content and preachers. It'll always
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Speaker 1: try to throw you something else and just see if
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Speaker 1: you're interested, but it is possible-ish to train an algorithm.
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Speaker 1: Not like you should be able to do that. You
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Speaker 1: should be able to go and say, I only want
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Speaker 1: to see these 10 people feed me their content, but
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Speaker 1: that's not the way it works. Their business model is
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Speaker 1: around diversifying your interest, and they're always going to try
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Speaker 1: to give you something you didn't ask for. That is
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Speaker 1: how they make their money. You do need to report.
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Speaker 1: I know it's not popular. No one likes to be
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Speaker 1: a snitch or a narc, but it's just the way
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Speaker 1: it works. When you see something unsafe and unhealthy, all
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Speaker 1: of these major platforms say, we do not have unsafe
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Speaker 1: and unhealthy content on here. It's against our platform's policies. Now,
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Speaker 1: TikTok is notorious for just doing nothing about that, but
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Speaker 1: Instagram does have more robust rules recently. Again, I'm not
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Speaker 1: encouraging you to throw your kids on that platform, but
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Speaker 1: I'm saying they're old enough, they're ready for it, and
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Speaker 1: you're looking for a way to make this happen. And
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Speaker 1: their question is, how do I avoid it online? No
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Speaker 1: TikTok parental settings and use a platform that allows you
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Speaker 1: to train the algorithm and report. And Instagram has a
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Speaker 1: pretty robust platform. reporting system. You can report hashtags that
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Speaker 1: are unhealthy, like consistently, like people are being clever and
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Speaker 1: having it link regularly to that kind of content. You
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Speaker 1: can do videos and posts and like everything can be
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Speaker 1: reported and they're currently motivated to make that place safer. So,
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Speaker 1: all right. Finally, it's be wise. The fifth thing you
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Speaker 1: can do to avoid this content online is we know
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Speaker 1: that we normally make our mistakes when we're hungry, lonely, stressed,
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Speaker 1: and tired. So don't go on social media in those times.
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Speaker 1: Go to social media because of the positives it brings.
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Speaker 1: You want to connect with your friends, so go connect
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Speaker 1: with your friends and then get off. You want to
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Speaker 1: know more information about this thing, so pick your time
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Speaker 1: to go to it and then get off. Even those
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Speaker 1: of us that don't have ruts and bad habits in
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Speaker 1: this area can feel the pull of social media when
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Speaker 1: we're just, I don't know, I'm not ready to be
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Speaker 1: done yet, but I also can't do anymore. So say
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Speaker 1: I'm writing and I just can't write anymore, but I
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Speaker 1: know I don't want to get up because I'm going
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Speaker 1: to get distracted by something else, so I'll just I'll
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Speaker 1: scroll social media for a couple minutes. And it's rarely
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Speaker 1: ever the best call. Like sometimes I can pull it
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Speaker 1: back and like get focused again, but sometimes I'm like, why?
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Speaker 1: I'm so tired and anxious. I don't remember what I
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Speaker 1: was doing 15 minutes ago now. Like it's not a
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Speaker 1: good call. So let's not go there to subsidize our
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Speaker 1: feelings or cope or medicate. So that's our first standard.
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Speaker 1: How do we avoid it online? No TikTok, use parental controls,
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Speaker 1: train that algorithm, report the stuff that's unsafe and be wise.
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Speaker 1: Make good choices and put yourself in a position for success.
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Speaker 1: All right, so I did all that and it appears.
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Speaker 1: Now what do I do? First, we physically put it
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Speaker 1: down and then we have to make physical space. So
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Speaker 1: the first is we physically put the thing down and
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Speaker 1: we are going to have a visceral response. This content
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Speaker 1: is shocking and you will have a reaction to it,
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Speaker 1: whatever that reaction is. Assuming you haven't become desensitized to it,
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Speaker 1: but I'm talking like it's accidental exposure. You're not going
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Speaker 1: to looking for this. So it's going to have a...
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Speaker 1: visceral experience for you. It might be anger. It might
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Speaker 1: be shame. It might be curiosity. It might be excitement.
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Speaker 1: There might be some shock in there, but you will
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Speaker 1: have a reaction. And so what we have to do
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Speaker 1: is physically put it down, turn off the screen, close
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Speaker 1: the screen, set the device down. Like if someone's holding it,
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Speaker 1: we physically turn our eyes away. because the second thing
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Speaker 1: we do is remove ourselves. Part of this is because
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Speaker 1: we need now time for our body to recalibrate because
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Speaker 1: we may not be in the spot where we can
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Speaker 1: make good decisions anymore. And this is wild, but your
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Speaker 1: own body will be like, I know things are wrong
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Speaker 1: and I don't want to do them. And then it
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Speaker 1: has a visceral experience that might trigger old habits or
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Speaker 1: might be something entirely new. And you just you don't
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Speaker 1: have your full brain anymore. Hormones have kicked in, chemicals
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Speaker 1: have kicked in, and you might be in fight or
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Speaker 1: flight mode, or you might be in some other form
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Speaker 1: of traumatic response where your brain just doesn't work right anymore.
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Speaker 1: We see this all the time in sports or when
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Speaker 1: people are super tired. brain doesn't function like a regular
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Speaker 1: healthy brain in these situations. What do you need? You
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Speaker 1: need some space. So go on a walk, physically remove yourself. Again,
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Speaker 1: we're hoping that you're doing this at a positive time
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Speaker 1: because if you were scrolling online at 2 a.m. and
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Speaker 1: accidentally came across it, maybe don't go on a walk
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Speaker 1: right then. But maybe there's someone you can call or text.
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Speaker 1: Maybe there's someone in your home you can wake and say, hey,
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Speaker 1: I'm processing this right now. Here's what I saw. I
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Speaker 1: know for a fact that I would want one of
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Speaker 1: my children to wake me I'm not going to be
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Speaker 1: happy when I first wake up and when I find
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Speaker 1: out what's happening. Yes, I want to help you with this.
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Speaker 1: Even if you went online on purpose to make a
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Speaker 1: mistake and went partway through and like, ah, I don't
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Speaker 1: like where this is going, but I can't just like
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Speaker 1: lay down and go to sleep now. Like, what do
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Speaker 1: I do? You tell someone. You get them on the line.
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Speaker 1: You get them on the phone. You have someone you
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Speaker 1: can reach out to. Someone you can share this particular, say, hey,
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Speaker 1: when I was doing this thing, I saw this stuff.
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Speaker 1: And that is a wonderful way for us to physically
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Speaker 1: make distance and then emotionally begin to process what happened.
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Speaker 1: Telling someone, this is the third thing, telling someone allows
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Speaker 1: us to explain what we saw to the extent that
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Speaker 1: we're comfortable with. It is not important to run them
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Speaker 1: through every single detail, but I have found that it
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Speaker 1: is beneficial. And I want to pause here because this
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Speaker 1: isn't a for every single thing ever. So we don't
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Speaker 1: have to tell people every single sin in our lives.
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Speaker 1: I'm not saying that in order to be saved, you
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Speaker 1: have to be able to confess this. I am saying
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Speaker 1: that with habitual sins, with something as powerful and as shame,
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Speaker 1: culturally shameful, but also individually, personally shame-inducing as pornography. We
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Speaker 1: want to make sure that we have someone in our corner,
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Speaker 1: that we're not being forced to deal with this ourselves,
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Speaker 1: because we may not have the tool set and we
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Speaker 1: may not be in a healthy spot. So that extra
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Speaker 1: individual is someone who can come and bear this burden
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Speaker 1: with us, especially if it's something we've dealt with before,
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Speaker 1: but no less, I would say, if it's a first-time
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Speaker 1: exposure or a very early exposure, and we just want
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Speaker 1: to start building healthy habits for how to deal with it.
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Speaker 1: We physically put it down, we walk away, we tell someone.
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Speaker 1: And then we ask, how can we make it safer?
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Speaker 1: In the future, when we do this again, do we
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Speaker 1: need to change the time we use it, the accountability
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Speaker 1: we have on that device or on our network, the
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Speaker 1: settings that we've set up for parental controls or access
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Speaker 1: to apps, the type of tech we're using, is it
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Speaker 1: on our Xbox or a smartphone or a smart TV
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Speaker 1: and the social media platforms? We mentioned TikTok in the
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Speaker 1: previous part of the conversation. But are we using X? X,
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Speaker 1: by the way, formerly Twitter. is the number one way
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Speaker 1: teens are saying that they're running across this kind of content.
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Speaker 1: So if you have a young person who is on X,
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Speaker 1: just know that's number one. WhatsApp, Instagram, and then there's
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Speaker 1: a whole Telegram and all of the other ones that
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Speaker 1: are encrypted Discord that can be tricky spots to make
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Speaker 1: good decisions. And there's a lot of good on there,
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Speaker 1: but sometimes there's a lot of other stuff mixed in
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Speaker 1: with it. And we just want to make sure we
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Speaker 1: have open conversations on that that we're assessing. Is there
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Speaker 1: a way we can make it safer? Or is there
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Speaker 1: something we just need to remove for now because it's
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Speaker 1: just too much? There are absolutely social media sites that
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Speaker 1: I just don't use because they're not worth the price
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Speaker 1: of investment for what my goals are and what I'm
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Speaker 1: trying to accomplish and what I experience when I'm on there.
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Speaker 1: So just make sure you're making those calls for yourself.
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Speaker 1: And then if it is unhealthy content, report it. Remember
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Speaker 1: that that is a resource. And if the companies do
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Speaker 1: not do anything on it, that's on them. That's why
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Speaker 1: we're not using apps like TikTok right now because we
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Speaker 1: can't trust them. That's why we're not playing games like
12:11
Speaker 1: Roblox right now because we can't trust them to make
12:13
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12:16
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12:21
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12:24
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12:31
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12:35
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12:38
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12:41
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12:45
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12:47
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12:50
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12:53
Speaker 1: And then pray to wherever the Lord is leading you
12:55
Speaker 1: because George Fox University may just be a part of
12:57
Speaker 1: that dream. Third and finally, how does forgiveness, grace, and
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Speaker 1: accountability fit into this? By the way, this is 44%
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Speaker 1: of the kids ask this, so pretty pertinent. So the scenario,
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Speaker 1: you've looked at this content, you repent to God, to
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Speaker 1: a brother or sister in Christ. Again, we're trying to
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Speaker 1: make these the same sex, brothers or sisters. So if
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Speaker 1: I'm a boy, I'm reporting to a brother in Christ, girl, sister.
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Speaker 1: The reason being, we don't want to cross-pollinate and have
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Speaker 1: my girlfriend have to carry my weight. Or even when
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Speaker 1: I'm married, I will repent to a spouse. That's important.
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Speaker 1: And when I'm telling someone, I want a brother to
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Speaker 1: bear this burden with me, to process this journey with me,
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Speaker 1: and specifically, hopefully, someone who is actually got the wisdom
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Speaker 1: in this route. Like they've experienced freedom or, uh, they've
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Speaker 1: been down this road and seen the Lord set them
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Speaker 1: free at something like that. So maybe just a side note,
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Speaker 1: but there's some spiritual relational manipulation that can happen. I
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Speaker 1: don't love it. I don't really have all the words
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Speaker 1: for it, but basically someone can feel like they have
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Speaker 1: to be your accountability. Uh, and it's their fault if
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Speaker 1: you fail and that's both not true and not fair.
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Speaker 1: So don't do that. And if you're currently doing that,
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Speaker 1: repent of that and change it. Um, specifically in marriage,
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Speaker 1: your wife is not your purity Jesus's. And I know
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Speaker 1: that there are things that go into that and relationships
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Speaker 1: are complicated. Professional Christian counselors are a thing. I just
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Speaker 1: want to make sure I've said those words. So you've
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Speaker 1: repented and we've confessed out loud. And then you do
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Speaker 1: it again. All right. So I'm sorry, Lord. Personal confession.
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Speaker 1: Somebody help me. We act a plan and it happens again.
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Speaker 1: What happens now? It might be a day later. It
14:35
Speaker 1: might be a month later. It could be two years later.
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Speaker 1: Then you effectively fall off the wagon, right? Like you're
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Speaker 1: doing great and then you're not. And like, what do
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Speaker 1: we do? I mean, our options are really just twofold
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Speaker 1: because the first one. So first is we repent. The
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Speaker 1: repentance is a recognition of, okay, like I am already
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Speaker 1: a child of God. I go back to my father
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Speaker 1: because I've said like the prodigal who ran away on
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Speaker 1: purpose and said mean things to his father, fully knowing
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Speaker 1: what that was, took his inheritance, which you're only supposed
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Speaker 1: to do when your dad is dead. So dad, you're
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Speaker 1: dead to me. Said that on purpose. Took the money,
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Speaker 1: still on purpose. Went and partied hard with it on
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Speaker 1: purpose and then found himself in a hard spot. Went
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Speaker 1: back to his father thinking, all right, I'd rather just
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Speaker 1: be a servant there than live this destitute life. the
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Speaker 1: Father graciously brings him in. That's our first, is to
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Speaker 1: recognize God's great grace and not rely on it and say, great,
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Speaker 1: my father is such an old softy. I'm just going
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Speaker 1: to go back to him and take more of his inheritance.
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Speaker 1: We'll come back to that. Instead, we repent and know
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Speaker 1: that as a follower of Christ, we are already redeemed
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Speaker 1: and forgiven. We are a new creation. So our behavior
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Speaker 1: of going back like a dog to its vomit is
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Speaker 1: a lie. It is a lie about our true identity.
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Speaker 1: And we have to repent of that and say, Lord,
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Speaker 1: I acted on something believing that that would make me okay.
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Speaker 1: And I know that I'm only okay in you. So
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Speaker 1: this behavior was a lie. It was pursuing something that
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Speaker 1: is not true. And I can't be good enough in
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Speaker 1: that area. I also can't just not do it. Lord,
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Speaker 1: give me strength. And he is faithful. to listen to
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Speaker 1: those prayers. He gives you the wisdom to fear him
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Speaker 1: because the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
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Speaker 1: And he gives wisdom to all without finding fault. So
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Speaker 1: we can ask him for wisdom, wisdom enough to be
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Speaker 1: afraid of a holy and living God who loves us
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Speaker 1: and has killed our sins so we are new creations.
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Speaker 1: and we are free, we just don't know how to
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Speaker 1: live in it yet. There's that reality. So repent, walk
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Speaker 1: in the freedom Christ gives you, and continue to faithfully
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Speaker 1: cut off the things that are causing you dissent. The
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Speaker 1: other side though is, okay, so I already repented, because
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Speaker 1: I did the thing, and then I repented, and I
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Speaker 1: lived free, And then I did the thing again. And
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Speaker 1: it just feels duplicitous to go back and say, I'm sorry,
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Speaker 1: like I knew it was wrong and I did it anyway.
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Speaker 1: That might be true. I bet in a prayerful review
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Speaker 1: with a loving brother or sister in Christ, you would
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Speaker 1: be able to see spots where things started to pop
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Speaker 1: up in your heart and mind. and triggers started to
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Speaker 1: go off, and anxiety, and sleep, and work, and identity,
16:58
Speaker 1: and deep-seated fears started to rise up, and all of
17:03
Speaker 1: your coping mechanisms starting up, maybe you were eating, or exercising,
17:07
Speaker 1: or working, or doing whatever to find your identity, and
17:09
Speaker 1: eventually those weren't enough, and then it was late at night,
17:12
Speaker 1: or you were super hungry, or you're on a work trip,
17:14
Speaker 1: or it's been a very long time, and now you're exposed,
17:18
Speaker 1: your willpower is depleted, and you don't have the spiritual
17:21
Speaker 1: disciplines to turn to the Lord in that brokenness. And
17:24
Speaker 1: what comes out is bad fruit. There's a good chance
17:26
Speaker 1: that's actually what happened. Not that you didn't know the
17:29
Speaker 1: goodness of God or whatever. But if we choose the
17:32
Speaker 1: other road and go, all right, I will not repent.
17:35
Speaker 1: Because one of two things. Either I'm too bad. There's
17:39
Speaker 1: no way God could forgive me. There's a voice in
17:41
Speaker 1: your head that absolutely will tell you this. We have
17:44
Speaker 1: an enemy called the great accuser. He's also a liar
17:48
Speaker 1: by nature and invented murder. So heads up, maybe don't
17:53
Speaker 1: listen to this voice. Maybe it's you. Maybe it's not.
17:57
Speaker 1: This particular voice would love to tell you. that you're
18:01
Speaker 1: damaged goods, and frankly, you've just out-sinned God. Now, this
18:05
Speaker 1: is actually a form of pride. This is also a
18:07
Speaker 1: way we would track this back to the original liar,
18:10
Speaker 1: because pride is that great sin that he loves to use.
18:15
Speaker 1: This is a form of pride. I'm so bad, I
18:16
Speaker 1: could not go back to God. He wouldn't take me.
18:20
Speaker 1: I've out-sinned his infinite grace, and he could save everyone
18:24
Speaker 1: else but not me. His death and resurrection was only
18:28
Speaker 1: good to a point. It can't save broken people because
18:31
Speaker 1: look at the bad stuff I've done. Now, this is
18:33
Speaker 1: not to belittle some of the horrific things that can
18:36
Speaker 1: come from this particular area of hurt. I'm not belittling them.
18:40
Speaker 1: I'm not saying there aren't consequences, and I'm not saying
18:42
Speaker 1: you can just run scot-free Never actually take accountability for
18:46
Speaker 1: your actions. I'm not enabling abusers with this conversation. So
18:49
Speaker 1: if that's where you're at, repent and ask the Lord
18:52
Speaker 1: to forgive you because the road is short and you're
18:55
Speaker 1: running out of time. What I am saying is if
18:58
Speaker 1: you are broken in your sin and you truly believe
19:01
Speaker 1: that somehow you can't go back before the Lord, and
19:05
Speaker 1: live in the freedom he's called you to, you're believing
19:07
Speaker 1: a lie. God's not scared of your sin. He understands
19:10
Speaker 1: people make these mistakes. And when the woman at the
19:11
Speaker 1: well said, I don't have a husband, Jesus goes, that's true.
19:14
Speaker 1: You've had five, and the one you're with right now
19:16
Speaker 1: is not a husband. That's true. I see what's going
19:19
Speaker 1: on in your life. How is that going? You are
19:21
Speaker 1: seeking satisfaction in these other areas of probably financial stability, frankly.
19:26
Speaker 1: And you have a particular way you believe you need
19:29
Speaker 1: to accrue that stability, and it's not going great. Come
19:33
Speaker 1: to me for living water, and I'm going to give
19:34
Speaker 1: you Jesus' call was gentle and direct, and it is
19:39
Speaker 1: to us as well. No, you can't keep running to
19:41
Speaker 1: this empty well and expect to come back satiated. And
19:46
Speaker 1: I'm not going to quit calling you just because you
19:48
Speaker 1: go to the wrong well all the time. Like, you
19:51
Speaker 1: need to come back. There is repentance and a running
19:53
Speaker 1: away from your sin and towards the Lord in this.
19:56
Speaker 1: You need to believe that. You cannot out-sin God. And
19:59
Speaker 1: there's a very real turning. He expects that. He's waiting
20:03
Speaker 1: patiently for that. And he has already set you free
20:06
Speaker 1: in Christ if you've put your faith in him. Just
20:08
Speaker 1: because you don't know how to live that yet doesn't
20:10
Speaker 1: mean it's not a reality for you. You're living in
20:12
Speaker 1: that already, but not yet. And your joyful journey is
20:16
Speaker 1: to begin turning over all the things that harm you,
20:18
Speaker 1: trusting the Lord in it, and making those hard decisions.
20:21
Speaker 1: So that's side one. Side two of I won't repent.
20:25
Speaker 1: One is I've out sinned God. Two is I don't
20:28
Speaker 1: want to. Nope. Like I repented that last time and
20:32
Speaker 1: you didn't keep me free. I asked for you to
20:35
Speaker 1: remove this from me and I'm still dealing with this struggle.
20:38
Speaker 1: You haven't set me free. You clearly aren't strong enough
20:41
Speaker 1: to do this. So I'm mad at you, God, because
20:45
Speaker 1: I have this issue and we blame God for it,
20:49
Speaker 1: which is a heart condition that we see throughout the Bible.
20:53
Speaker 1: which is a heart condition we've seen in our own journeys.
20:55
Speaker 1: If you've experienced any level of struggle in life, in
20:58
Speaker 1: this area or in another area, and it keeps coming
21:01
Speaker 1: up and you've prayed about it and you've asked for
21:03
Speaker 1: it and you've experienced some seasons of it, and then
21:05
Speaker 1: it just rises up again like you've never had freedom
21:08
Speaker 1: a day in your life. This is just old hat again.
21:11
Speaker 1: And you're like, where did this even come from? I
21:12
Speaker 1: don't like this. That you eventually step into, well, it
21:16
Speaker 1: apparently is just what God's leaving me. So either God
21:19
Speaker 1: isn't real or he's not strong enough to fix it.
21:22
Speaker 1: And we run that road of rebellion, which is so,
21:25
Speaker 1: so dark. Please do not run down that road. It
21:28
Speaker 1: is not satisfying. It will destroy you. So in that space,
21:33
Speaker 1: we instead throw ourselves to the feet of the cross, say,
21:35
Speaker 1: Lord God, you are good. And this is a reality
21:39
Speaker 1: in my life. Yes, take it from me. And I
21:42
Speaker 1: will do what you call me to do. I will
21:45
Speaker 1: give up. The behaviors, the activities, the friends, the technology,
21:49
Speaker 1: the resources that regularly feed this part of my heart.
21:53
Speaker 1: If I'm feeding the monster, it's going to continue to
21:55
Speaker 1: live and grow. So I'm cutting them off. I don't
21:58
Speaker 1: even know what it looks like to live without these things.
22:00
Speaker 1: And I know that you are good. This is what
22:02
Speaker 1: walking by faith looks like, by the way. Walking by
22:04
Speaker 1: faith is not, well, I hope it works out. Walking
22:06
Speaker 1: by faith is, I know these things are true, but
22:09
Speaker 1: I don't see them right now. I know God is
22:11
Speaker 1: good and gracious and slow to anger and abounding in
22:13
Speaker 1: steadfast love. I know that God sent his only son
22:16
Speaker 1: that whoever believes in him will not perish but have
22:19
Speaker 1: eternal life. I know that we are new creations by faith,
22:23
Speaker 1: that I've died to myself and I live, but not
22:26
Speaker 1: me living, but Christ in me. So in this, then,
22:30
Speaker 1: I'm going to walk today. I don't know what tomorrow holds,
22:33
Speaker 1: but today, Lord, I'm going to follow you. I'm going
22:35
Speaker 1: to read your scriptures. I'm going to pray. I'm going
22:38
Speaker 1: to confess my sins and my heart attitudes. to a
22:41
Speaker 1: brother or sister in Christ. I'm going to worship corporately
22:44
Speaker 1: because you call us to be part of a church body,
22:47
Speaker 1: and I am going to cut off and gouge out
22:49
Speaker 1: the things that cause me to sin. That is the
22:51
Speaker 1: only option for heading down that road, is a decision
22:55
Speaker 1: to trust the Lord because you've seen what you get
22:58
Speaker 1: when you work in your own effort, and you don't
23:00
Speaker 1: know how long that runway is. The Lord is giving
23:02
Speaker 1: you gracious time, but it's not infinite. There is a
23:06
Speaker 1: finite amount of that road and dying in that condition
23:08
Speaker 1: leaves you in that condition. You will blame God forever.
23:10
Speaker 1: Satan does. You will either be, when you make a mistake,
23:14
Speaker 1: repent of it and make that same mistake. There's only
23:17
Speaker 1: two options. You repent and turn back to the Lord
23:20
Speaker 1: and faithfully follow through on whatever he says. We don't
23:22
Speaker 1: make excuses on, well, I need this because of whatever.
23:26
Speaker 1: My entertainment, my pastime, my friend group, my ministry, my work. No. No.
23:32
Speaker 1: We faithfully put it before the Lord and we ask,
23:34
Speaker 1: is this just my broken flesh or is this thing
23:37
Speaker 1: party to this sin? If it's regularly causing me to stumble,
23:40
Speaker 1: it just became disposable because I'm not. God's calling on me,
23:43
Speaker 1: it's not. And on the other side, there's two lies
23:44
Speaker 1: that we'll believe. I don't repent because I've out sinned. God,
23:46
Speaker 1: I couldn't possibly go back. This is Peter's lie that
23:49
Speaker 1: he believes. He goes back and goes, all right, I'm
23:50
Speaker 1: going fishing. He knows Jesus is alive. He saw him twice.
23:53
Speaker 1: Only Thomas was gone the first time. He denies Jesus.
23:55
Speaker 1: Jesus rises from the dead, goes, I'm here. Everyone else
23:58
Speaker 1: is ecstatic, apparently. except Peter and Thomas. And then he
24:02
Speaker 1: comes back to Thomas and Thomas goes, yep, you're the
24:04
Speaker 1: Lord and Savior. You're alive. Praise God. And Peter goes,
24:08
Speaker 1: I'm going fishing. Like I can't be here. I've definitely
24:11
Speaker 1: out sinned God on this. It is a lie and
24:13
Speaker 1: Jesus calls him on it three times. Peter, do you
24:17
Speaker 1: love me? Feed my sheep. Actually, do you love me
24:21
Speaker 1: more than these? These fish that you went back to
24:23
Speaker 1: to cope. Do you love me more than the control
24:26
Speaker 1: you can have of your own life? That's option one.
24:28
Speaker 1: on this repentance. The other is, God, I blame you.
24:30
Speaker 1: Why isn't this gone yet? Why am I still wrestling this?
24:32
Speaker 1: Why is this still part of my character? Why is
24:34
Speaker 1: this part of my journey? And I will say this,
24:37
Speaker 1: it is a hard journey. The Lord is gracious and good,
24:39
Speaker 1: and he promises that we are new creations. So we
24:42
Speaker 1: have to walk into that promise. Not being frivolous with
24:45
Speaker 1: it and throwing everything at us because, whatever, I have
24:47
Speaker 1: license now. I'm free in Christ. No, no, you still
24:50
Speaker 1: have a broken body and bad habits. You put yourself
24:54
Speaker 1: some faithful distance on that. You step back and you
24:57
Speaker 1: give yourself that space. The reason this is so important,
25:00
Speaker 1: I'm going to read from Hebrews 10, 23 through 27.
25:02
Speaker 1: It says, Let us hold fast the confession of our
25:04
Speaker 1: hope without wavering, for he who promises faithful. And let
25:08
Speaker 1: us consider how to stir up one another to love
25:10
Speaker 1: and good works, not neglecting to meet together as the
25:13
Speaker 1: habit of some, but encouraging one another all the more
25:15
Speaker 1: as we see the day drawing near. For if we
25:18
Speaker 1: go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth,
25:21
Speaker 1: there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a
25:24
Speaker 1: fearful expectation of judgment. and a fury of fire that
25:26
Speaker 1: will consume the adversaries. It's not that God forgot how
25:30
Speaker 1: to save us. It's that we refuse to come back.
25:34
Speaker 1: And that is going to be important. That deliberate choosing
25:38
Speaker 1: of rebellion is not something we want. So the three
25:43
Speaker 1: questions the kids asked. They asked, one, how do we
25:45
Speaker 1: avoid it? Well, don't go on social media or have
25:47
Speaker 1: a smartphone. It gets easier that way. But there are
25:50
Speaker 1: parental controls we can use, training algorithms, reporting, wisdom, and
25:54
Speaker 1: avoid TikTok. What do we do if we do see it?
25:57
Speaker 1: We put it down, we walk away, we tell someone,
25:59
Speaker 1: we assess our tech to see if we can make
26:00
Speaker 1: it safer. And again, we report it. We expect those
26:03
Speaker 1: companies to make good decisions that are going to be
26:06
Speaker 1: helping kids. And we look for the reality of forgiveness
26:12
Speaker 1: and grace, knowing that we cannot send God and knowing
26:14
Speaker 1: that he hasn't forgotten our need. Instead, we have somehow
26:17
Speaker 1: run from him and that we can run to him.
26:20
Speaker 1: That he has not left us. He is pursuing us.
26:23
Speaker 1: Peter could not run away from Jesus. And we cannot either.
26:27
Speaker 1: The only way out is true rebellion. And by that,
26:33
Speaker 1: I mean, we see Judas' route where he confesses, I
26:37
Speaker 1: betrayed an innocent man. Judas put a hard end to that.
26:40
Speaker 1: We do not want our hearts to get to the
26:42
Speaker 1: spot where we want to be so much in control
26:44
Speaker 1: that we even control our own rebellion to ensure we
26:46
Speaker 1: can't repent. Instead, we call out for help. And if
26:50
Speaker 1: a man with a legion of demons can call out
26:52
Speaker 1: for help for Jesus, we can too. You're never too
26:54
Speaker 1: far gone. Your kids are not too far gone. If
26:56
Speaker 1: you are breathing air, there is hope in Christ because
27:01
Speaker 1: he is a God who understands our brokenness. And he's
27:03
Speaker 1: done everything we need to be right before our Father.
27:07
Speaker 1: And he has given us new hearts. And now we
27:09
Speaker 1: need to live in alignment with those new hearts. We
27:12
Speaker 1: live with the repentance and the humility and the daily
27:16
Speaker 1: disciplines of spiritual practices that put us in line with
27:20
Speaker 1: God's heart so that our hearts reflect that in line
27:23
Speaker 1: with the new creation that we already are. And we
27:24
Speaker 1: just need to learn how to live and walk in
27:26
Speaker 1: that freedom. So walk in the freedom Christ gave you.
27:29
Speaker 1: These are three conversational pieces you can use with your
27:32
Speaker 1: kids and pray into about what it looks like in
27:33
Speaker 1: your own life. And for you to adamantly love your
27:37
Speaker 1: children in this, recognizing that they cannot be broken or
27:40
Speaker 1: damaged goods in Christ. Instead, they can only be broken
27:43
Speaker 1: vessels filled with the Holy Spirit to give God glory
27:45
Speaker 1: because he does great things through weak people. May you
27:48
Speaker 1: be encouraged and blessed in this.