Latest / Outspoken the Podcast / One and Done

Transcript

One and Done · Outspoken the Podcast

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to the Mums Group you actually want
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: to be a part of. I'm Kate Torber. And I'm
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Amy Torber. And Sophie is again absent from this episode.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Just a bit of transparency, we have bulk recorded this
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: episode the same day as last week's episode because it
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: is Harry's first birthday this week, which is absolutely crazy
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: to me. Like how is he nearly one years old?
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: I know, it's mental. I can't get my head around it.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: I feel so underprepared. I was actually asking the Mums
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Group this week or last week, if you're listening ahead
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: for recommendations of what to get for his presence because
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: I feel so disorganized. We've had all these renovations going
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: on and I feel this immense pressure to have this amazing,
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: you know, big present. And I really wanted to, his
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: party's F1 themed. I wanted to get him an F1
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: car that we could drive. You know, they have like
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: that one at Audi. There's a race car. But it's
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: a go car and it's for, I think it's like
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: four plus or something, but maybe not ideal. I think
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: I was saying in a previous episode on the mom's group,
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: how I'm making Harry a Ferrari outfit. And so the
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: only other F1 cars are all different brands. And I
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: was saying, it's going to be stupid him in a
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Ferrari outfit driving in a car that's not a Ferrari.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: I think you've thought too much about it. I don't
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: think anyone's going to notice. I had a bit of
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: a jump scare the other day when I was like,
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: hang on, this time next week it's Harry's birthday party.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: And it's been crickets from you, which actually really concerns
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: me because normally you'll be like, oh, look at all
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: these things I've ordered, you know, for Harry's birthday party.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: I need to go order balloons. You need to do that.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: I've got the balloons there. Well, you're not getting helium ones. No,
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: I don't think so. Well, not even a one. Balloon garland. Okay. Well, maybe.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: Oh no, you're not doing a balloon garland.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: Oh no.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Obviously don't read the mom's group. I said how I'm
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: at that stage where I promised that I wouldn't DIY anything.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: I saw that. And can you please, please think back
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: to your wedding. I was pregnant. I think I was
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: like four months pregnant at your wedding. And I was,
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: I was at that stage of pregnancy where you have
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: no filter. And I was like, oh my God, Amy,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: what are you doing? Because you were DIYing the like
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: sign that had everyone's, you know, the table arrangement the
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: day before your wedding. I think we've actually got vision
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: at your wedding. The videographer got it of one of
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: our friends painting the sign at the wedding venue. There
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: was like a little spot that needed to be like
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: a little bit of green or whatever added to it.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: And then the day of the wedding, I think, didn't
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: you lose the place cards or something? Dale lost the
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: place cards that I'd spent all week making. So I'm
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: just worried about. what scenes are going to be happening
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: the next couple of days.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: So yes.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: Okay. Look, I'm not, I am disorganized, but I'm trying
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: to be organized. Is there something I can do? Can
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: I make some food? That's how I show my love. Food.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: I don't worry about the food. It's all good. What
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: about the cake? Can I come out? Cause I'm, you
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: can tell I'm a bit of a cake. I've got
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: to call you out because I'm one of the mom's
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: group episodes. You were like, And I'm going to be
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: trialing a new Women's Weekly cookbook cake in the weeks
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: leading up to Harry's birthday. I actually cut that out
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: of the podcast because I knew I wasn't going to.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: I was going to do this series on my Instagram
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: and TikTok where each week I made one of the
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: women's weekly ones, but I'm not doing that. Okay, good.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: I'm just making a race car one. I mean, we're
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: six days out, so you don't have time to do that.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Maybe you should vlog like Hamish Blake making the cake
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: because I feel like that's going to be a 3am
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: thing for you. Yeah, well. The worst thing is we've
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: had all this work booked in. So on Saturday we've
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: got a video shoot for a client.
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: You do not.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: We do. It's only for a few hours. But anyway,
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: it's going to be fine. If you want to watch
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: the process of me making the cake, it probably will
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: be on my Instagram account. So how many people are coming?
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: I think mum was asking me. I think it's between
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: like 30 and 40 people. Oh, my God. So what's
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: happening with the catering?
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: What do you mean?
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: We're having like– I'm getting O'Connell Street Bakery to do sweets.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: It's at 3.30. So we're going to be doing grazing tables, cake, cupcakes. Okay.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: So the only thing that you have to actually make
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: is the cake and then putting some like some platters out. Okay. Well,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: last night I actually was ordering. Have you seen the
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: cutouts that people do for birthday parties? You mean of
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: like say if it's a Pooh Bear themed, it's a
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Pooh Bear cutout or something?
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: I saw all these people making them on TikTok and
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: I was like, No. No, no, I've already ordered them.
• 4:23
  Speaker 5: Oh, good.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Okay, don't make them. I think at this stage. No, no, no,
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: I've ordered the photos. They're going to be sent. I
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: need to pick them up from Officeworks and then I
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: just need to cut them out on a board. Oh,
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: it sounds like, oh, this is worrying me, Amy. This
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: is actually worrying me. I don't commit to making anything else.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: Promise?
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: Well, we've got to paint the backdrops. What backdrops? The
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: backdrops I have for my baby shower. We're repainting them.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: Dale has got the paint. Oh, my gosh. Maybe I
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: should vlog from my perspective. I would really like to
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: come over and help though because birthday parties, like I
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: love it. I just, I get excited. I'd like to
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: help with the cake. Actually, you can make cupcakes if
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: you want. Okay. I can do that.
• 5:03
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm making the cup.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: Don't worry.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: Look, I will reach out to you if I need help. Well,
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: can I get ample time to help? All right. Well,
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: I'm a little bit nervous, but I have a lot
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: of faith in you. You hold very fun events, but
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: you're usually wrecked. I just want to make sure that
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: you have time to get ready. Because often like people
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: will be here and you're hiding in the bathroom. Oh,
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: people will walk up and I look like shit. I
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: actually want to look like okay at this. Yeah. Well,
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: maybe do like your hair and makeup before you, you know,
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: like a couple of hours before. I've said today, well,
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: the plan is, then please, like I know it's not
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: going to happen, but the plan is that we want
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: to have the whole house like cleaned on the Saturday.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: So when Sunday goes around, we just have to sort of,
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: You know, everything's ready to go. Well, last week we
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: were talking about, you know, just hiring a cleaner. I
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: think that could be a good idea. And if our
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: mothers listen to that, we don't mean you. We mean
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: an actual, you know, third party.
• 5:58
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: I think it's too late to get a cleaner in.
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: All right.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: Well, mom might have to help.
• 6:03
  Speaker 5: There's a lot of moms on the fence, but there's
• 6:05
  Speaker 5: also a lot of moms who know deep down in
• 6:08
  Speaker 5: their soul that they only want one, but they need
• 6:10
  Speaker 5: me to give them permission because society says, no girl,
• 6:15
  Speaker 5: you have.
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: To have more.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: There is nothing more triggering than hearing the words, so
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: when's your next one? When you've just had a baby.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: Somebody literally said that to me. I think I was
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: three weeks postpartum. I felt like saying, F off. Were
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: they a boomer? Yes, they were a boomer.
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: Who was it?
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: Was it a relative? I'm not going to say. It
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: was one of Dale's relatives.
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: I doubt they listen to this podcast so do not
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: listen so that's all right that is wild to me
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: like even someone as I've touched on like my son
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: is turning two in June and I feel freshly postpartum
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: in terms of like the fact that if someone said
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: to me oh when are you having your other one
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: I'm like I'm still getting over the first like exactly
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: and it's so wild when the people who were pregnant
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: when you were have already had second children like I've
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: spoken a bit on Outspoken about how Jade Tunchi was
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: one of the influencers who I feel a deep connection
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: with now because she had her son at nearly the
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: exact same time I had Jack. And then when she
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: announced that she was having a second, the whiplash, like
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: I personally felt affected by it. I was like, how? Well,
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: they say that you shouldn't really make a decision on
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: how many children you want the first year you're postpartum.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: I keep saying that to you and Sophie because I
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: feel like you guys were, I don't even know, like
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: only a couple of months postpartum and you were like,
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: really pressing on me saying like, we're one and done, Kate.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: You need to promise us that you're going to be
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: a part of this little one and done club. No,
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: we never said that. I actually would love, I would
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: love you to have a second. Why? Because I kind
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: of want you to have a girl. So it's in the,
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: like there's a girl in the family. Oh, talk about pressure. Yeah,
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: that's the thing because I'm like, you know, my son's two,
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: everyone's expecting me to have the second one. And I
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: do feel a lot of pressure because Even though we're
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: super lucky and our babies have been really close in age,
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: I still had a good 15 to 18 months where
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: I felt like I was on my own. You guys
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: couldn't do stuff with me. But since Jack has dropped
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: his second nap, I almost feel like I'm out there again,
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: feeling a little bit more normal. You're feeling yourself again.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: Probably your hormones are leveling out too. And that's the time,
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: everyone says, when your kid turns two, that you start
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: thinking about it because... you again feel normal. And it
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: kind of scares me to think, oh, but then you
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: have to go back through that all again. And I
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: actually think that's the wrong mindset because it's the two
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: experiences are never going to be the same. And I
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: keep seeing this debate, like it's all over my TikTok, obviously,
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: because I'm thinking about it. It's like, oh, was the
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: transition from zero to one more difficult or is it
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: one to two? And people's opinions are so different. I mean,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: obviously it depends on the type of child you get.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: Cause I got A baby that sleeps. Yes. So I
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: feel like my second will be similar to my golden retrievers.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: One was an angel and the next one is like
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: you would never have gotten another dog. You're getting a
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: colicky baby as a result from your dream baby. Yeah.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: I heard Hilary Duff talking about it because she's got
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: four babies and she actually said. Four children. Yeah, well,
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: four children, sorry. And she said that she feels sorry
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: for parents of one because she actually thinks having to
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: play with one child is harder than having– because the
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: other kids will play with each other. And this is
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: the predicament as identical triplets that we find ourselves in
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: because our children are genetically considered half siblings.
• 9:41
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: And we see each other, I would say, nearly every day.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: So our kids essentially– do actually have half brothers. And
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: that is a part of the bargaining power, particularly Sophie,
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: who is on today's episode. She'll be cut that she's
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: missing out on this discussion because she's very pro one
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: and done. Well, I just keep getting served up one
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: and done content now. And I've started to recognize the
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: content creator. So there's this niche of creators. who will
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: only produce content about being one and done. It kind
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: of reminds me of the content that was being served
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: to me by the child free community. It's like they're
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: very passionate about it.
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: Well, there's an American creator called Woods and Coffee. Her
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: whole channel is about being one and done. And she
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: has very valid reasons for only wanting one child. So
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: when she was pregnant, she had HG and it was
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: just absolutely. See, if I had HG, I would definitely
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: be one and done. That's why I feel a bit guilty. Well,
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: the main arguments for the one and done content creators
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: is bad pregnancies. They said they don't want to go
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: through the newborn stage again. Valid. A lot of them
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: have also suffered really bad postpartum depression and they don't
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: want to allow themselves to potentially experience that again. Also,
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: financial concerns is a huge one and feeling like you
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: know your limits.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: That's a big one for me because I think, oh
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: my God, how can one, how could I be pregnant
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: again with a toddler? Like people who are able to
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: do that are honestly superhuman in my view. The thing
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: that I always think about though is because I always
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: knew I wanted to have children, but you know, sometimes
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: when I got served up that, you know, child free
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: movement content, I was like, they make some really good points.
• 11:22
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: And it's kind of like now when you're on the
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: cusp of, you know, do I have a second? Like,
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: I feel like that. And I'm like, God, if I
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: had listened to the child-free movement and not had my son,
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: oh my God, I can't even, like, I just can't
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: even think about it because he's the best thing that's
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: ever happened to me. So it's sort of, you're in
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: that mindset, you know, who knows if that's a decision
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: I can even make. Like, you know, there's second time infertility,
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: you know, you might not be able to have a
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: second child.
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: That's so important to mention because it is often not
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: a person's decision to be one and done. And I
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: feel like there's a lot of judgment around parents who
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: have one child and we just don't know the circumstances.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: And also some people are calling it, people are saying,
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: let's not call it one and done. Let's call it
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: one and complete.
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: I think the shame is absolutely wild. And one thing
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: I've noticed in the comment section of a lot of
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: this TikTok content is only children coming in and giving
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: their two cents, which I find super interesting because there's
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: basically two sides. So one side is, oh my God,
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: I loved being an only child. And then the other
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: side is, okay, yeah, it was pretty good. But now
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: that I'm older, I'm really lonely and there's no one
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: to help me look after my parents. Or there are
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: some situations where the parent has passed away and they
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: say they feel like an orphan with no family. And
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: those comments really get to me because, I mean, growing
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: up as a triplet, you guys are just some of
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: the most important people in my life. I talk to
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: you every day. And then there's that guilt that you're like, well,
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: I really want to give that to my child. And
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: you know, being at the point where my son is
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: nearly two, it's like, it does seem like a whirlwind
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, you know, it goes quickly. Well,
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: can I circle back to your point about the creators,
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: the child-free creators? Because I have a different view to that.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: So I, as you said, Harry is the best thing
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: that's ever happened to me. I can't imagine my life
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: not being a mum. However, when I see the content,
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: the child-free content, I don't go, oh, that's all wrong. Like,
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: I actually think that some people aren't made to have children.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: Like children aren't for everybody. Oh yeah, exactly.
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: But that's like some families aren't meant to have more
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: than one child. Exactly. So that's what I mean. When
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: I see that content, I go, they make a lot
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: of good points. And so when I see the one
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: and done content and I read some of the comments
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: that you're like, there's moms on there who have two
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: or three kids saying, don't do it. You are going
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: to regret it. Like, There are Reddit communities which have
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: like 50,000 members saying that they regret having children. Those
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: are wild to me. Can you imagine going on your
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: mom's TikTok and coming across this comment? Like some of
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: them are so mean. Like they often say, I love
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: my children, but I regret not being able to do
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: this and that. I don't know if it would make
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: you feel any better saying it. It is horrible, but
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: women are now being honest about it. Like if you
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: think about Our grandparents' generation, they really didn't get a
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: choice about how many children they have, whether it was
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: to do with birth control or... Do you know what?
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: At least there's a forum in a way that you
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: can go on as anonymous and actually share how you
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: really feel rather than bottling it up. I mean, hopefully
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: they just put measures in place that their children don't
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: see the commentary. Well, that one and done creator I
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: was talking about, Woods and Coffee, she put out a
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: recent TikTok warning her followers not to fall into romanticizing
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: that second child. Let's have a listen to what she said.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: I get it now.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: It's the romanticizing.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: Everybody romanticizes pregnancy, finding out you're pregnant, the birth, the
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: having a kid. Everywhere you look, if you're a mom
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: on social media, you are being fed romanticized content of motherhood.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: And so if you see that and you're like, I
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: don't really want another one, you're still going to feel
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: weird because... everybody's telling you how great it is and
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: that you should want another one, but it's just social media.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: Like this is not, that's.
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: Not real life.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: That's a really interesting take because I think when you
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: have had a child, I mean, I personally don't look
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: at that content and romanticize it because I think I
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: know the reality of it. And the reality is, God,
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: you feel a love like you've never felt before. It's indescribable,
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: but you also know the other side of it, that
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: it is so much hard work. See, I disagree. Even
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: as someone who is contemplating one and done, I see
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: these announcements go up and, you know, there's a little
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: boy in the t-shirt that says he's going to be
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: a big brother and you see all of that sort
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: of stuff and the baby showers and this and that.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: Do you know what? I think that gives you your
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: answer because I think if you're looking at that kind
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: of content and there's a little bit of a pull
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: on the heartstrings, that to me tells me That you
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: probably do want a second child. And I don't think
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: it's about romanticizing it. I think it's a want because... Yeah,
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: but then if you see that type of content and
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: you go, oh, thank fuck, that's not me. Does that
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: mean that you shouldn't have another child? Well, I think so.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: Or you're too shy. Is it too early on? Well,
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: I think you're too early. But I mean, you know,
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: I've had senses where people have announced their pregnancies and
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: there's been like a faint hint of, ah... Like, oh, okay.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Like a bit of a reflection of, oh, is that
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: something that I'd want? The one misconception I keep seeing
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: floating around, which I think is really unfair, is that
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: people who are one and done don't love their children.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: Because if anything, my view on being one and done
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: is the fact that I love Harry so much. I
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: just want to spend all my time with him. Oh,
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: I totally get that. Like even when I contemplate like
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: what it would be like having a second child, I
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: feel so immensely guilty because he gets jealous when I
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: hold his cousin and it breaks my heart seeing him
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: look at me like, mommy, why aren't you holding me?
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: The other misconception I don't like is that it's a
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: duty to give your son or daughter a sibling. Oh,
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: isn't the comment section so interesting about that? Because there's
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: all these people that jump in and be like, I
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: hate my sibling. I don't have anything to do with them.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: You can't guarantee that they're going to get along. So
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: I think that's really unfair because I often think, well,
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: would I rather give them a sibling that they potentially
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: may or may not get along with? Or would I
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: rather give them a healthy, happy mother and father?
• 17:20
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: Well, I think when, you know, it's down to your
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: mental health, you've got to put yourself first because there's
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: no point bringing a second child into a situation that's
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: not positive. Exactly. In the news the other day, I
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: saw that Australia's current fertility rate is 1.48 babies. So
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: it's definitely dropping. If we compare that to the 70s,
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: the fertility rate was 2.1. Remember when I had Jack
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: and you and Sophie were still dinks? So for those
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: who don't know, it stands for double income, no kids.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: And you actually set up a group chat, which I've
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: referenced several times in the podcast because it really hurt
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: my feelings, called The Dinks. Well, now we need to
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: set one up. There's a new thing. There's a new
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: dink going around. It's the Is it DIOC? It's D-I-O-C.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: It stands for dual income one kid. And it is
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: the new flex now because everyone is saying, look, if
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: you want to experience the best of life, have one
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: child because you don't have to spend as much money.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: You get freedom, somewhat freedom, let me just add, because,
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: you know, you can rotate looking after the child between
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: you and your partner. You can take them on holidays
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: that you wouldn't be able to take multiple children on.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: I'm getting around this. Maybe we need to rename the
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: group chat, the doinks. The doinks. The dorks.
• 18:33
  Speaker 5: I don't even know.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: How would you say that?
• 18:35
  Speaker 5: Deox. I don't know.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: It needs a better name, I feel. Like Dink is
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: so like, you know, just easy to say. Let's work
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: on that mum's group. Can we work on that name?
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: I think the name needs to be workshopped. I mean,
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: there is that saying that one child is an accessory
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: and two is a lifestyle. I agree with that. I
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: can actually see that. I don't think my child's an
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: accessory at all. No, no, I don't think he's an accessory.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: But when he gets older, he will be. I've seen
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: some of Dale's friends, they have this child. This kid
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: lives the best life ever. He's constantly overseas on holidays.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: He sits at the table with his parents and their
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: friends having a great time. It's so funny because I
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: actually follow said child's parents on social media. And I
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: always look at him and be like, no, this is
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: a different child.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: Well, this is a different child. I'm like, He looks happy,
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: but I kind of feel sorry for him that he
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: hasn't got any siblings. I don't know why. He's very happy. Well,
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: there is a TikTok creator who goes by the name
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: of TikTok's older brother. Oh God, I thought you were
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: going to say Tiki Toki, that guy that was on
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: the Manosphere docker. No, not him. But he was really
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: selling me this one and done lifestyle. Let's have a
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: listen to what he said.
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: I'm telling you, if you're a dink, dual income, no kids,
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: just have one. It's so easy. I have two now.
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: Two is hard. One is nothing. You can do it.
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: It won't even cost you that much. Just allocate for it.
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: You're really good at budgeting anyway. You can figure it out.
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: In the beginning, yes, overwhelming, hard, baby, new thing, oh
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: my god. But after a couple of years, it's nothing.
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: I can do it right now with my eyes closed.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: I can parent one kid With my eyes closed. On
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: four hours of sleep. You can do it. Help everyone out.
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: You know. Fertility rate's dropping. Add to it. Don't go
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: on another vacation. Just have a baby. It's kind of
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: the same. Like it's. I know it's technically not. Dual
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: income no kids. And one kid. But honestly. Like I
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: think after a few years. You're not gonna. You'll be
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: the same person you were before. So yep. Just do one.
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: I'm telling you.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: Is it kind of like when you have a child
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: and then you want to slap your old self in
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: the face when you ever thought that you were tired
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: or busy because you've got that different perspective now? And
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: the thing is, if you never had a child, you
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: would still think that was the case. Like, am I
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: only going to ever think that having one was super
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: easy if I have a second? So if I don't
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: have a second, will I just continue to think that
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: motherhood is difficult? I know what you mean.
• 21:10
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: In hindsight, I often find that when I talk to
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: parents of two, they say to you like, you know,
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: that time that you get now as a parent of one,
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: just to relax and sit down, you don't get that anymore.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: Like that time doesn't exist. You literally have zero time
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: for yourself in the early days. So I don't feel
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: like I have that time. Like when I, but is
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: it the time that I say my treat of making dinner?
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: That time. You don't get that anymore. So we're having
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: to get takeaway every night.
• 21:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: Could be worse. Have you seen that? There's a TikTok
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: and it's like, your husband asked, what would you, what
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: would I have to do to convince you to have
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: a second? And it's like, hire a nanny, a chef,
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: a cleaner. Well, I would love to put it out
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: to the wisdom of the mums group. If there's any
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: mums out there that are actually contemplating one and done,
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: I'd love to have a chat. And also those who
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: have more than one, it'd be really interesting to hear
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: your take. Let's get into our recommendations. Now, before we
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: kick things off, Let's be real, Kate, you have a
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: completely different voice. You're croaky as we have recorded this
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: segment a few days after the initial recordings.
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we ran out of time to do our recommendations
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: and we're like, oh, listeners won't know.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: We'll just, you know, record it on another day.
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: Unfortunately, I sound like shit and it kind of actually
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: leads into my recommendations. So over the weekend, we had
• 22:24
  Speaker 4: a bit of a scary situation with Jack. So we
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: took him to the playground and I was like, oh,
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: It looks like he's got some massive mozzie bite on
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: his leg that's starting to spread. I then noticed it
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: was on his other leg and I'm like, this is weird.
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: It looks like some sort of irritation. It's not a
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: mozzie bite. Maybe it's hives potentially. Anyway, the situation started
• 22:42
  Speaker 4: getting worse. He woke up from his nap and it
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: was literally all over his legs. So I started freaking
• 22:47
  Speaker 4: out being the hypochondriac that I am. And I was like, oh,
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: maybe to make myself better, I'll ring the parent helpline
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: that's in the back of the blue book. So I
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: rang that thinking, okay, they're just going to say, oh,
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: no worries. He's completely fine. They're like, oh, I'd probably
• 23:01
  Speaker 4: ring the women's and children's hospital vital urgent care line.
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: And I was like, oh God.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: It reminds me of George Costanza on Seinfeld when he
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: goes to the doctor for some ailment and he's like,
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: all you want is that. Get out of here. It's fine.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Like it's nothing.
• 23:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's exactly what I was looking for, but I
• 23:16
  Speaker 4: didn't get it. So anyway, I ended up logging on
• 23:19
  Speaker 4: to this virtual urgent care, which was basically like a
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: telehealth conference, except it's with the emergency room. And I
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: was just blown away with how.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: Good it was.
• 23:28
  Speaker 4: So it's this free service that you can use for
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: kids aged between six months and 18 years old. And
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: basically you get to talk to this virtual team of
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: doctors and nurses. So we got to speak to a
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: nurse after waiting for about an hour in the virtual
• 23:43
  Speaker 4: waiting room. It did take another hour to talk to
• 23:46
  Speaker 4: the doctor. Fortunately, by then the hives Jack had had
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: completely disappeared. So my panic was gone. But it was
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: just so good to actually talk it through with a
• 23:55
  Speaker 4: health professional. She's like, it's not anaphylactic.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: It was all good. It was a really positive result.
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: But I'm like, God, that was so much better than
• 24:01
  Speaker 4: having to go down to the emergency room and waiting
• 24:04
  Speaker 4: in person. I mean, we could get stuff done around
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: the house as we waited.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I went to the emergency room probably a few
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: months ago now when I thought I was going into anaphylaxis.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: But I sat there for five hours and wasn't seen
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: at all. So that is a really good recommendation because
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: there are just some times where you can't get into
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: a doctor.
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so this service is available in South Australia. I'm
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: assuming other states may have something similar. And it's available
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: seven days a week from 9am to 9pm. So if
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: you're in a situation where something's obviously not completely urgent,
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: but you still feel like you need to talk to
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: a doctor, I would highly recommend it. Now, Amy, you
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: have to share your recommendation with the Mums group because
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: I was quite dubious about it. But I've got to admit,
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: I'm now hooked to this YouTuber's channel.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so the YouTuber in question is Tori Storey. And
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: she is currently 32 weeks pregnant. So she lives on
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: the Gold Coast with her boyfriend, Jackson Edwards, who so
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: happens to be the son of former Adelaide Crow, Tyson Edwards.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: I feel like that name wouldn't mean a lot to
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: anyone outside of SA that weren't millennials, but he was
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: a big deal when we were growing up. Yeah. So
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: it shocked me when I realized the connection because Tori
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: did this pregnancy reveal video and Tyson Edwards just popped
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: up and I was like, what the fuck? Anyway, why
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: this is my Roman Empire is because not only is
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: Tori pregnant, but two other girls in her friendship group
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: also fell pregnant within a few months of each other.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: They're all expecting baby boys and all of the pregnancies
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: were a surprise. So for one, it's fascinating watching their lives,
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: but please go and follow them as well because her
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: content is addictive. She kind of reminds me of a
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: younger Sarah's Day because she shares everything. everything. Like she
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: is so problematic.
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: Oh, less.
• 25:48
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: Definitely less problematic, but she's very authentic. She even shared
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: the conception story on her podcast. Let's have a listen
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: to what she said.
• 25:56
  Speaker 6: It was grand final day. Jackson had silly Saturday, um,
• 26:03
  Speaker 6: and picked him up from silly Saturday. I'd like, like
• 26:06
  Speaker 6: I said, just, just literally moved home that day.
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 26:09
  Speaker 6: We went out to the pub that night. I wasn't drinking.
• 26:11
  Speaker 6: Jackson had a few, um, we danced all night.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: Great night.
• 26:15
  Speaker 6: Came home.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: I don't know how much I want to say, but.
• 26:18
  Speaker 6: I feel like I need to because I never thought
• 26:22
  Speaker 6: this would be possible.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Okay, so I'm just going to say it. I
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: think just say it. I've got permission from.
• 26:26
  Speaker 6: Jackson, but I'll say it and then we can cut
• 26:28
  Speaker 6: it if need.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 26:29
  Speaker 6: But basically Jackson and I have always, yeah, pretty much
• 26:34
  Speaker 6: always used the pullout method purely because I have been
• 26:38
  Speaker 6: on contraception before and it has completely ruined my hormones
• 26:42
  Speaker 6: and is the reason I've gone through everything I have.
• 26:45
  Speaker 6: And personally, just not a big fan of condoms. And honestly, for.
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: Five years it has.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 26:51
  Speaker 6: So it has worked. But this one night we just
• 26:55
  Speaker 6: decided not to because I have been told by so
• 26:58
  Speaker 6: many doctors that I won't have kids or that it'll
• 27:01
  Speaker 6: be really.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: Hard to have kids.
• 27:02
  Speaker 6: So in my head, I've always had this thought and
• 27:05
  Speaker 6: belief that I will have kids. Like I just knew
• 27:07
  Speaker 6: I'd be a mum, but I have always had that
• 27:09
  Speaker 6: limiting belief of like, hey, it's going to take a
• 27:11
  Speaker 6: while to have kids. I've always said I wanted to
• 27:13
  Speaker 6: try earlier than we planned because I don't know how
• 27:15
  Speaker 6: long it's going to take.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: So that's always been on my mind.
• 27:17
  Speaker 6: And so I thought one time, like literally wouldn't matter
• 27:21
  Speaker 6: because like I said, I haven't had a period in
• 27:23
  Speaker 6: three months. I don't know when or if I ovulate.
• 27:26
  Speaker 6: And I remember speaking to the girls the next day.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: I messaged the group.
• 27:30
  Speaker 6: Chat and I was like, hey, ask me for a friend.
• 27:32
  Speaker 6: If you've never not done the pullout, like should I
• 27:35
  Speaker 6: take the morning off?
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: I would have told you to take it, but I
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: was competing in nationals that day.
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: I feel like this is on par with Laura Henshaw's
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: story where she spoke about the timer. Like she went
• 27:44
  Speaker 4: into such great detail that was so fascinating for.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: All of us. I was imagining Tyson Edwards listening to it.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I mean, surely let's hope he
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: doesn't listen to the podcast. But I actually liked that
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: they were just honest about it because there would be
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: other couples who have surprise pregnancies like this. And it
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: kind of, I don't know, it took the stigma away.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: And she has been so excited about this pregnancy journey
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: because She had PCOS. She was told that she would
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: really struggle to have a baby. So she has taken
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: this whole surprise pregnancy really well. She's excited. She's currently
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: in nesting mode. And every time she uploads a video,
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: I am so excited to watch it.
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: I also find it fascinating to watch how much she
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: has embraced her bump, which is obviously very on trend.
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: And I find it quite inspiring because I thought that
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: I might be someone that when I was pregnant that
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: I wanted to show off my bump, but I found
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: that I was like really covering it up. So I
• 28:37
  Speaker 4: really like how confident that she is. And it's kind
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: of cute because her and her best friend is also pregnant.
• 28:43
  Speaker 4: They're often out with their bums out together. And it
• 28:45
  Speaker 4: kind of reminded me of when you and Sophie were
• 28:48
  Speaker 4: pregnant at the same time.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: It's almost like a little bit triggering because Tori's belly
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: reminds me of my own. But yeah, there was this
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: scene where they went to Kmart together, her and her
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: pregnant friend. And then they stopped and got like these
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: delicious looking like sugary scrolls. And I was like, fuck,
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: this is just so reminiscent of when Soph and I
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: would go to Betty's Burgers at Marion Shopping Centre. But yeah,
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: definitely go and follow her. I'm really excited to see
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: what her content is going to be with her baby
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: because I'm really enjoying watching influencers who are at a
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: similar stage of life. I mean, the crazy thing is though,
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: I watch her videos as a 37 year old and
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: be like, oh my goodness, I couldn't even imagine myself
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: having a baby at 26.
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: It's funny because I fell pregnant when I was 34
• 29:30
  Speaker 4: and I totally felt like a teen mum. I mean,
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: I heard Olivia Rogers talking recently on her podcast how
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: she gets a lot of comments from boomers and older
• 29:39
  Speaker 4: people about how the way she dresses when she's pregnant.
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: Apparently people are quite rude to her.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Adelaide influencer Matilda Norton, she spoke a few years
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: ago about how, Judge, she felt as a pregnant woman
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: in her 20s. She said that she often got asked
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: if she was the nanny when she was out with
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: her toddler and she said Burnside Village, which is a
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: shopping centre in Adelaide's eastern suburbs, was the worst place
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: to go. She said the looks that she would get
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: there were horrible.
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: I remember when I was like 30 weeks pregnant, I
• 30:07
  Speaker 4: had a dental appointment with a new dentist and I
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: said something about being pregnant. And then I was asked
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: what my age was and they were like, oh my God,
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: are you that old? Oh, I thought you were way
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: younger and I was shocked that you were pregnant. And
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: I was like, well, it's a bit of a nice compliment,
• 30:22
  Speaker 4: but also- It's a bit backhanded. But it's also funny that,
• 30:25
  Speaker 4: you know, back in our parents' generation- Being in your
• 30:28
  Speaker 4: early 20s and being pregnant was the norm. And now it's,
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: you know, suddenly the norm is to be pregnant in
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: your early 30s.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: It is. There was a report from Flinders Uni that
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: I read that said that the average maternal age has
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: increased to 31.1. And that's for first time mums.
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: Well, I think we better wrap things up because my
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: voice is absolutely declining. I'm sorry for anyone that's listening
• 30:47
  Speaker 4: to this with headphones on at the moment.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: If you enjoyed the episode, we would really appreciate if
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: you could go and leave us a five star rating
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: because it really helps the podcast grow.
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: Also, it's the time of the episode where we need
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: to remind you, please make sure you are following The
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: Mums Group on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: your podcasts. We have been dropping episodes into the Outspoken
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: feed purely to make things easier for listeners. However, we
• 31:12
  Speaker 4: do have to stop that at some point, so please
• 31:14
  Speaker 4: make sure you're following the show.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: This episode was recorded on the traditional land of the
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: Kaurna people of the Adelaide Plains. We pay respect to
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: elders past and present.