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49. Creating Your Strategic Spiritual Life Plan after Divorce (yes that is a THING) · Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce

• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Hi, love, this is Dawn and you're listening to Dear Divorce Diary with my coach, dawn, where we explore the post-divorce life and you, the woman who lives it.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: We cover everything from trauma during and after divorce to feeling like a stranger in your own life and the new frontier of life as a single woman.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: We're cozy in for the conversations we've been longing to have about this new life.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Hi, loves, we have such a treat for you today.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: We have an amazing guest, christina Druin, a dear friend of mine.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: We go way, way back.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Welcome, christina.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Thank you Great to be here, dawn.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: It is such an honor to have you.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: So, christina and I go back a number of years, nearly 15 now.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: I think it's wild And we met because you came to me for grief counseling, which is just such a huge part of your story and probably part of the birthplace of what we're going to talk about today.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: Yes, indeed So, so many years later, you've been working as a strategic planner for nonprofits and our listeners might think like well, dawn, what does a strategic planner for nonprofits have to do with divorce recovery?
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: But just wait, just wait.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: It's so good And you've created a book and a course to help people find their strategic personal spiritual life plan.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Yes, exactly, and I cannot wait to unpack it all because you know I heard this quote recently that we're over resource with regards to information.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: We are given so much information about what we need to do and what we need to heal and what we need to align, but we're under resourced around the implementation of the information The how in the heck, dawn and Christina, do I actually do it?
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: And what you and I are going to unpack today is an implementation tool of like epic proportions.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: That's a huge statement.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: Yes, let's do it, let's do it, okay.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to start by reading this quote of yours And then I'm going to turn it over to you a bit.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: But when I first land on your website right, this is the first sentence I read and it just gives me all the chills.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Divine alignment occurs when the mind finds what the soul needs and the heart desires.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: I'm going to read it one more time Divine alignment occurs when the mind finds what the soul needs and the heart desires.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: Yes, It's powerful.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: And I know that that's what our listeners today are searching for.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: Their minds are searching for the things that their soul needs and their heart desires, and they need help with the how And here you are, yes, and we thank you, and we begin with the soul.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: I mean, i think when we begin with the soul we think about.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: That's our essence.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: You know, our defining attribute is the soul, and so it's the soul's cry that we want to respond to.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: The soul is Right not the mind Exactly, yes, yes.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: And I think in our world, to your point about all the information, we tend to go the mind, the mind, the mind.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: But there's a place to start that isn't the mind, the place is the soul.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: What is the soul's, what is the soul need?
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: And the soul needs more than anything, alignment.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: The soul needs to understand the human Yes And what the human values, more than anything else, because that's the definition, that's the personality I mean we all have.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: So every soul is different, right, As every person is different.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: And every soul is different because every soul is made up of different ideals and different priorities that are given to With our own specific purpose.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: Yes, exactly, exactly, and a lot of people I know who doesn't want to find their purpose.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: Everyone's looking for their.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Well, i found in my work, whether it's schools or individuals, and I've been doing this process with individuals since 2016.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, so I just During the pandemic.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: In fact, i just put it into a book.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: I was During the pandemic.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, during the pandemic, when all my clients I work with schools and faith-based organizations Nobody was in person, everyone was frantic.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: So, rather than not do anything in my apartment overlooking fights in CrossRam, mentel, manhattan, i said I'm going to be inspired here.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: Here I am in this location, above the world in a way.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: You know high up.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: Let me do something with this time.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: So I use the time to marry the model that I use in my business practice.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: With larger organizations.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: Right, with larger organizations, with the human beings that also could benefit from having their own personal plan, and I had been doing it with small groups since 2016,.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: But with stapled workbooks.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: You know how that is.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: You put it all down here, kind of winging it Exactly, and had so and still in contact with the sacred journey mappers that went through that process at that time and knew that there was something there And I thought, okay, you know, i always look and say, okay, if your calendar is being cleared, what is it that the divine wants you to do with this time?
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's my point of view.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: So my calendar was cleared, as was the world.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Well, sure, And you know, just to tie it together for our listeners, when you're going through divorce and you're, you've lost so much of your true identity, let's call relationship loss a calendar clearing of sorts.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: Yes, exactly.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: So if we look at that calendar clearing as not as a negative discourse but as a positive opportunity that the space has been cleared, you know, for a new time and a new point of view and new discovery, so I always look at that time as a time to go inward you know, and because I've had trauma in my life, as you know, i mean the original, you know, reason we met was for grief, counseling, the loss of my husband, son loss of my husband, and that inward perspective, that time to go inward can be something that that people that can handicap you and paralyze you or it can free you And I think it depends on your point of view.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: And I think if you, when you go through, so there's a line in the book about in my book Dear God, where Do I Go From Here?
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: That you talked about a minute ago, that says you know your core values in your mission.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: Don't disappear in a crisis.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: They don't, they don't, we talk about that in psychology.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: Yes, we talk about that in psychology, that there is always this part of self right, and in spirituality we would call it soul, but there is a part of self that remains unaffected by the traumas, clear, pure, unaffected.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, and the more you go, covered up by all the mind noise.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: Exactly, and that's why I think the work that I do with individuals taking that model into the human, you know, the circle of life it gives them.
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: They write it down, they write down their core values, they put them on their phone.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: They make a rock garden, a spiritual rock.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: You know core values, rock garden, to remind them.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: I had a person who just finished up that chapter in the book that talks about the spiritual, that talks about core values, and she sent me a screenshot of her phone screenshot, which is core values on rocks.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: I look at this every minute, every day, so you know what we know internally.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: Such can be, can feel fleeting, can feel like a clock going by until we animate it.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: I think if you make it that feeling, if you make it an object, if you make it, into something.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: Yes, we talk about that all the time on the pod and I certainly use that tool.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: I have mirror messages and, yes, i use my phone screen background And if you could see behind my desk here, you know all the things that are pinned, because we do need those cues, because it is we forget.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: we're human, we forget, and so you are providing a path for us to get clarity and then to have a way to remind ourselves.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and also then, as you said, to remind yourself, with an inanimate object.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: I have a rock that I wrote on that.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: Turn it.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: On one side it's turn it over, and on the other side it's turn it over.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: Turn it over And I turn it over.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: I can't even tell you how many times I turn it over Literally it's with the-.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: It creates mind-muscle connection.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: It sounds like a silly thing, something you would think about at the gym to create mind-muscle connection, but that's the value of a God box in when I was working the steps in Allen on and I had a God box right And because when you write it down and you put it in the box the mind is like, oh okay, I gave that over.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: Yes, right.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: And then if you can take that further and turn it into a rule of life in spirituality whether it's meditation or whether it's something, a place you go every single day, whether it's journaling you know this from your work that you make it, that you ritualize it then that core value that defines you- Has a place to be expressed.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, captain to Absolutely, and then, once you get your core values in place, which I think it's people.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: When I first did this work, when I first did the self-discovery work, i actually thought my values were not were different.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: But when I went, in and Like you thought it was one thing and it turned out to be Yeah.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: I mean I thought freedom was a huge value of mine.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: I thought independence because I'm a so independent woman I mean I have been ever, forever And I thought, you know, and independence qualifies as a value, freedom qualifies as a value.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: Values are nouns, they're not outcomes.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: You know they are they have in and of themselves intrinsic worth And we all have what I call a constellation of values that make up our beings And we make our decisions on the basis of those values every day.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: But there are only a very few that are, if you think of your constellation, if you think of a constellation, there are very few that are the sun They give you that light and life Other circle around you.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: They'll be in those you know, like Pluto and Mars.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: If Pluto was still a planet.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: I don't see that.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: So are you teaching us that your process, your book and your course teaches us?
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: to be able to tease out the difference between our core values and our beliefs, like, because a belief is just a thought that we've thought a number of times.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: Right, and for many of us here on the pod, independence is actually a sign of trauma, right, it's that over-independent way is actually from having been too resilient for too long.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: Right, it's actually a trauma symptom typically.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: So you're helping us, through your work, tease out What is actually a core value from what maybe might be like a low-key, hidden, negative belief or limiting belief.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and I mean values are defined you at your best.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: So, when you are at your best, what are the ideals that define you?
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: So for me, those ideals are hope, joy, love, peace.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: I see Gratitude, yes.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: They define you at your best.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: And that is so powerful, Christina, because in this now moment, our listeners are not feeling their best And we get bogged down in that right, We get lost in the heaviness of it and we lose track.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, But when you get, when that?
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: but that's your soul, that's the fabric of your soul.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: Is you at your best?
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Yes, That's your soul, is your best right?
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: So if you can get in touch with those things to find you And for me those things were, it was discovery And then they, they then, and this is where, to me, the power of this practice is in connecting these values that you discover And you can only discern them, and they're yours and they're indefensible.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: You don't have to defend them to anybody.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: You know they are what is true for you.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: They define the heart and the soul of the matter for you when you are at your best and to do that work, to get in touch with those no more than five cause others will be the constant.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: So the more core values that you introduce into your system, the more you introduce the opportunity to conflict, because you make your decision on the basis of your core values, uh-huh uh-huh If you have 20 core values you can't make everybody happy all the time.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: So you want to define those very few, up to five, which is the five I gave you were mine.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: Okay, So once you get those in place, then those and connect to your purpose, your life purpose, your mission, why you exist.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: So, core values answer the question what do I stand for?
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: Mission answers the question why do I exist?
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: So how do you know why you exist until you know?
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: what you stand for.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: Uh-huh, uh-huh.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: When you get the, what you stand for, in place, then all the things, all the reasons you think you may exist, whether it's to do this activity or that activity or be a teacher, I mean I write in the book.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: How you know, until I did this work, I, you know, I thought my purpose was to be.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: I always wanted to be a teacher, my whole life, since I was a little kid, right, Uh-huh.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: But when I stopped teaching did I lose my life purpose?
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: No.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: You know, I always, I always-.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: No, because that's a role.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: Exactly A role We are, not our roles.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: Exactly, i always wanted to be a wife and a mother.
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: When my husband died, mm-hmm.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: There went that role yeah, exactly, that wasn't my purpose.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: Purpose, you know, purpose, is transcendent of all that.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: What you are talking about right now is such a big deal.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: I think so.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Our roles are not our purpose.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: They can be part of it, right, they can be an expression of Yes, but they are not one and the same.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: Exactly And that when you get that and you I don't think you can get that, personally I don't think you can get that until you're in touch with your values, you have to do that preliminary work.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: When you do that, then the test of a mission statement, and everyone could have one.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: You know if you have and I'll share mine with you in a minute, but if you had one, that mission statement would flow logically from your core values and it would be transcendent of circumstances And it would be simple and easy to remember, and that's the key transcendent of circumstances.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: because, you know, no matter how much we heal in life, no matter how much we find alignment, no matter how much we find inner peace, circumstances still happen.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: Exactly, yeah, exactly.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: And when those circumstances happen, when and it's not unlike when I'm doing strategic planning in an organization we must be, we owe it to ourselves to be aware of those circumstances and to be able to respond to those circumstances and, ideally, to prevail over those circumstances.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: Well, we do all that in the context of the ground we stand on.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: The ground we stand on are our values and our mission, what we stand for and our purpose.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: So once we get that, that's like an anchor in the storm.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: Those don't change, even though you know all this other stuff's going on.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: And so in my work with schools and churches and humanitarian organizations, there's so much going on in the external environment over which they have no control, you know, And yet they need to remain faithful and true to who they are Mission driven like on task, Exactly.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: And that's the same in our lives.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: You know, there's so much going on, like with your listeners.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: There's so much going on in their lives over which they have no control.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: Yes, You know, and that's okay, yes, but that they don't need to allow that to impact their soul, their who they are, if they're clear about it, if they know that's trouble.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: Yes, we've talked before on the pod about that mindset difference.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: you've referenced that kind of dictates, the ground you stand on right Is it?
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: this is happening to me, or this is happening for me?
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: And that can be so tough because that thought and the subsequent emotion that goes with this is happening to me, it just feels awful.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: right, we've all felt that feeling, that thought this is happening to me.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: But what we're talking about here, in this sacred journey mapping, tapping into your values, your life's purpose it's really through the lens of this is happening for me.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: My calendar has been cleared.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: Yes, great intention.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and that's one of the principles.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: So the system is organized around seven principles, and that's one of the principles.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: Is the universe desires my success.
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: That's the whole thing.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: We can feel not that way.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: We can feel done unto I mean you know we can feel, because we feel hurt and in pain, in agony.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: you know we can feel the universe is against us, hopeless.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: Hopeless right.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: If the universe is against me, I have lost hope.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: That's right, That's why hope is one of my core values.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: Your core values And.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: I keep going back to that and say no, no, no, no, no, It's not true, it's not capital C.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: true, it's not a false thought.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Yes, yes, and when you have those touchstones to go back to, it helps put what happens in perspective, you know, and you get a chance to look through that lens of opportunity rather than despair you know, because so much of what happens in life can be viewed as tragic and can be viewed as debilitating, and can be viewed as you know, something that is going to handicap our futures.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: But if we understand what, if we really are clear, have clarity and belief in our values and in our purpose, it can be navigated.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: Everything springs from there.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: Yes, 100%.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: Everything can be overcome, everything can be integrated, everything can be yeah, 100%.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: So my mission?
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: I told you I would share it with you in a minute.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: So my mission is I am a spiritual being whose earthly purpose is to live a Christ-centered human adventure.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: For me, the human adventure was my realization.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: Aha, aha, the human adventure.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: That was my big aha, because then everything that happens to me I can look at through that lens.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: It's part of the adventure?
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, and man, have you been adventuring?
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: I have, and I've moved like five times in the last three years.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, it was so difficult.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you've been adventuring your whole life though love I know.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: Absolutely true, yeah absolutely true, you've traveled and you've been doing literal missions right.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: So much yeah.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: So I think that gives us hope when we know that, ok, these things are happening around us, but it's not going to fray the fabric of my purpose.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: In fact, it could enhance it if we look at it right.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: If we look at it.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: So in your mission statement that you developed about your purpose, you have found this feels like a hard question that's coming.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: That that is enough specificity for you to set goals and action right, because to be on a human adventure that doesn't sound super specific to me.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so when your mission doesn't have to be your mission should be, if your mission isn't overarching.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: OK, yeah, mission is so.
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: so that's my mission, And so there are challenges in four areas of life.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: that, in terms of sacred journey mapping, that I found in my discovery work in doing sacred circles getting in 2016,.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: that, before I categorized these four areas, we would attempt to surface people's issues.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: you know, issues in various parts of life And after doing many, many, many sacred circles, i found out that the issues that people came up with are the challenges were in four major areas.
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: I see Self work, self relationships work and their impact on the world.
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: It wouldn't impact on the world.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: So self relationships work in world.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: So the specificity that you're talking about comes in lower in the plan itself.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: So the mission is transcendent of it goes with it.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: It's enduring.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: It's the reason you exist.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: And then you surface your drivers.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: you know what your focal areas are, the things you're passionate about, not what the main things are.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: you know what you're in each of those four areas.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: In this period of time, i would always recommend that people don't chunk out, you know.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: don't be planning for 50 years from now.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: It's ridiculous.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: Think about three years, think about five years.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: Even three years is great.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: I use three year journey maps with people because things change so quickly.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: I love three years.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: Three years feels like not forever.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: From now Exactly, feels attainable.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: Exactly So when I thought about you know my challenge area is when I did my mapping you solve for those challenge areas in your vision statement.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: So your vision is what does success look like?
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: What are you being called to?
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: You know so is this like, so, your vision statement.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: It's like if you were to make a vision board.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's like turning that into some sentences.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, one sentence, one sentence OK.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: Five words OK.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: And let me, let me share it with you.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: Ok, so this is my plan for 20.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: So this is my sacred journey map for 23 to 26.
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: My vision now.
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: You know my core values already Love, gratitude, joy and peace.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: That's, you know, piece number one, my net.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: You know my mission.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: I'm a spiritual being whose earthly purpose is to live a Christ-centered human adventure.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: Ok, you know my purpose right Right Now.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: What's my vision?
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: So, by 2026, i will be a light bearer and a shining reflection of Christ's present among us.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: So that could be God's presence.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: That could be whatever you're, whatever you know.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: It could be the you know, whatever, the God of your understanding.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: So for me, that's what that was.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: So by 2026, i will be a light bearer and a shining reflection of Christ's presence among us.
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: And so go ahead.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: I was going to say so what?
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: how do I make that happen?
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: Is I have goals in each of those four areas.
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: So I have a goal in the area of self, I have a goal in the area of relationships, i have a goal in the area of work And I have a goal in the area of.
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: So the goals come underneath.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: So the mission is transit.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: And the goals that I have are designed to advance that vision.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: So so my goal in the area of self let me read it to you is by 2026, i will have sought and found adventure and joy in the next phase of my life.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: Ok, sought and found, sought and found.
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: And how am I going to do that?
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: So I'm going to take care of my soul, i'm going to follow my bliss And I'm going to embrace health and lifestyle changes that add youth and vitality.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: So I have a goal in the area of self And I have three major pathways.
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: I call them promising pathways.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: So the my success milestone in the area of self is by 2026, i will have sought and found adventure and joy in the next phase of my life.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: See how that ladders up to the vision I love that.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: So now your map that you're taking us through.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: It's so beautiful.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: However, if someone were coming to this work from a place of crisis, it might sound very different from yours, right?
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: So, for instance, let me just ask some clarifying questions.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: Yes, so if I'm coming from a place of crisis post-heavours my journey may involve being debt free or owning a home, or being done with litigation, or my kids being settled in some certain way, or these types of things, right?
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: Yes, but remember, the beauty of doing three-year vision statements is you get to have a new one every three years.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: Right, i mean that's inspiring.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Yes, because we're not static, we're dynamic, we're always changing and evolving.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: Exactly So.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: you're going to put into this year's three-year plan those things that you have to address in this moment.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: This three years.
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: yes, That's why mine sounds a bit I've been doing this for a long time.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: Gosh, it sounds beautiful, Like yes.
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: But I can share with you.
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: I have several of secret journey mappers that have exactly what you have in it.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: So then we would take those promising pathways, which are the ways you'll reach your success milestone, and we identify three things you're going to do this year for each one of those, and those would be specific things.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: Like you're talking about the specificity of it.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: You get to build it into the plan, but don't build the plan on the basis of specifics.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: Build the plan on the basis of 30,000 feet.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: Okay, that matters so much, And I just really want to underscore that because right now I just know that for the most part, we're painting with a broad brush right, But for the most part, our listeners have been building a plan based on the specifics and then feeling like they're juggling too many balls and pillows and I don't know rocks that are getting thrown at them and then getting sidetracked way late and feeling like a failure.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: Yes, so easy to do when you're tied to the specifics.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: Yes, if you elevate the conversation, if you bring the conversation up to 30,000 feet, like you're flying in a plane and you're looking at your life 30,000 feet outside.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: Strategically okay.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: what strategically happened to really get me where I want to go?
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and those things fall into their natural course of importance.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: And then you have an easier time when the rocks get thrown at you, saying like swiping, swiping, like nope, that's not in the story.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: That's not in the strategic plan.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: Not in the strategic plan.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, Get out of here 100% off plan, that's my phrase.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: It's off plan.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: I have chills.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: That's off mission.
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, no, no, that's not a way No shiny object syndrome.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right, that's right.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: But you only know that when you're you have to think big first, yeah, and then fill in the blanks.
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: I think you know it's inductive versus deductive reasoning, right, you start from the top and then build down, but then you implement from the bottom up.
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: So you build it from the top down, but you implement it from the bottom up.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: So it's big at the top, yes, and then it gets specific at the bottom.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: But if you focus on the bottom, then you're missing the top.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: Is that making any sense?
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: You don't understand.
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: Well, it makes so much sense to me, but also one of my, one of my human giftings is to be able to see the top down and the bottom up at the same time.
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: Yes, like that's just is one of my juiciest things I'm capable of doing.
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: Yes, Yes, absolutely, and you have and and and, to be aware, if you don't have that, if the person doesn't have that gift to understand that, that you can adapt to that.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: If you think of it as a system, think of it as a system, right, it's a continuous cycle.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: So you're always.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: you always look from the top, but you always when you're looking from the top, you must know that.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: you know and Peter Drucker is one of my, he's a management guru from the Okay Century.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: One of my oh my gosh.
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: I built my practice around his way, his teachings.
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: I died at 95 and you know it's so hysterical because in his last few books people laugh about it.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: In his last few books he was underlining and capitalizing and bold facing.
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: He knew he was heading out and he wanted to make sure that he was getting through to people you know.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: And you know, one of the things he says is that a vision remains only a dream until it degenerates into work.
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: Ah, so, if you think of the vision at the top of your plan, it remains only a dream.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: So to your question about well, it sounds, really, doesn't sound specific.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: No, it isn't specific until you put teeth into it.
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: And so you put teeth into it.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: You put teeth into it at the lowest levels, but we don't begin by putting the teeth.
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: And putting teeth into what?
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: Yes, you don't know what you put when you get started Too many things at once, exactly.
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: Yes, and so it's a scatter shot.
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: It's like you know they're not connected, they're not knit together.
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: Yes, and that's one of the advantages of a sacred journey map in any strategic plan, frankly, is that everything at the bottom has to ladder up to the top.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: That's how you create In an aligned right, Like it has to.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: Exactly Yes.
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: Like a building.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: Yes, a building has integrity because things align.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: People have integrity because things align Yes, and so so much of what our listeners are experiencing is a calendar clearing because they were not in alignment right.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: Something about that marriage, something about that life, something about that relationship or how you were showing up in it was not in alignment for you.
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: And it's terrifying to let these things go because they're big things and we hung our hats on them.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: But the truth is we think a life of joy comes from these certain boxes we check right, like you said, like wife, mother, teacher, but really a life of joy comes from when my mind and my heart and my soul are in alignment 100%, i'm not in alignment anywhere and I'm going to be on fire.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: That's it, yeah.
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: That's it in a nutshell, and that's why the work in core values are so essential to life planning, whether it's sacred journey mapping or anything you're doing to think about your life.
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: You know because that's where those answers are And you search for them like you would search for a precious jewel, because when you get them, they make everything else make sense, everything else makes sense, everything else makes sense.
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: And the things that are happening you know that you have no control over.
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: You can see through them and see past them.
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: I know that sounds Pollyanna, but when you have these pieces in place, you know it's just.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: It's just things get better, but it's also it's about our focus, right, christina?
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: So so when we're in the pain, when we're in the, when we're in the struggle, our focus tends to be on the pain and on the struggle.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: What you're providing us as a framework to get our focus on exactly what we talked about in the beginning is when I'm at my best.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: These are my values, and when we switch our focus to that, then all of a sudden things already feel later because I'm no longer focused on the pit, exactly.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: And I'm climbing up instead of down.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: Exactly, exactly, and I think when you think of your life in three year increments rather than 10 year increments, who does that anymore?
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: I mean people you know in their, in their 20s and 30s and the old days used to be saving for retirement, you know, or working thinking they were going to work at the same place you know, but who does that anymore?
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: I mean especially millennials, move around more than anyone.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: We know that right.
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: So so, and we have to think of our life.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: If we think of our lives in terms of three year increments, we can see that we can build towards something, but also have some kind of sense of being able to manage what's happening in that moment.
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: You know I would say about my life.
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: There's a season for everything You know.
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: For me there was a season of grief.
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: It lasted a long time.
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: Thank you for helping me with that.
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: I mean it really did, but part of I think this my whole sake.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: My own sacred journey was discovered when I went to Africa on mission.
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: And really discovered, through just prayer and introspection, and that the divine did not want me to be in grief.
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: The divine did not.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: That was not my soul's joy, that was not where my soul was to be resting.
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: So you were just kind of mind trapped there for mind trapped for a while.
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: I was for a long, for a long while and I just couldn't get out of it And I think this whole my journey in sacred journey mapping began then, when I realized it was like, wow, this isn't me Grief wasn't me.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: No, grief was not me.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: I'm happy, joyous, peaceful person.
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: I kept saying that you know, uh-huh, being able to separate out who you are from what you're thinking and feeling and experiencing.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, they're separate.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: they're separate.
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: They're overlapping, like overlapping, but they're not the same, they're separate.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: And that's why I was stuck.
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: And when I got that, i said wow, and things began to change.
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: from there, i began to embrace joy and began to embrace the parts of me that had been submerged, because grief was so huge, you know, and trauma was so huge, yes, so powerful.
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: And that alignment then clears your mind.
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: Yes, Then you can.
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: then, then you can see your purpose, and then you can dream the dreams, and then you can plan your goal.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: you know your success milestones and your promising pathways.
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: Amazing Christina.
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: If someone wanted to buy your book or work with you or talk with you further, say okay, okay, this is amazing ladies, but like, how, where do I find Christina?
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: Tell us that, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: Tell us what you're up to, yeah.
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's excellent.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: So the book Dear God, where Do I Go From Here?
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: A Course in Takerage?
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: I know it's true, dear God, where Do I Go From?
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: Where Do I Go?
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: A Course in Sacred Journey Mapping is available on Amazon in its print version.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: Awesome, we'll put that link in the show notes, Yeah and then also, i've found that people you know, on devices, like to want to maybe take it with them and work on it on a device.
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: So there is a actually a downloadable e-book version of it, meadow Yes, which is on, which is available on my website, okay, yes, sacredjourneymappingcompanysite.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: Okay, and people can go there and get it there.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: And I'm super excited about and, in fact, this week I'm signing contract for mid summer, mid week Intensives in Maine Ooh, sacred Journey Intensive.
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: So I'm super This is in person, in person, small, small groups, no more than five, wow, and these are replicating my sacred circles that I began doing in 2016 that people have just literally It's changed their lives.
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: Yes, this is a big deal what you're talking about.
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: Okay, so if someone wanted to get started, they could either download the e-book or buy the book book, and then if they wanted to just say, christina, just walk me through it, just transform my life, then they could book with you in July and Maine, which sounds just like amazing, like beautiful Sounds amazing, Awesome.
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm also.
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: I have a curriculum in the works for a master class, Okay like online If people go to my Instagram, which is just at Christina Druin, I'm going to be posting information about the master class.
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: Fantastic, And people can go with their own pace.
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: they can do it in a week.
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: This can be done in a weekend or it can be done over time.
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: It can be done over three or four weeks, depending on your life circumstances.
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: But it doesn't have to take a long time.
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: It's like let's get to the meat of it.
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: Let's get in there let's answer the questions and 100%, and the sacred journey, sacred circles that I began doing in 2016 were a night, a full day and a half day, and it's so funny because, as when people were coming in and they say this to me all the time I came in, i knew my goals and I just wanted you to tell me how to get to them.
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: Right, sound for a million.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: Bump the brakes, yeah, really.
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: Well, we like to be good students and we like to be.
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: You know, i'm too you with that.
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: I wanted to tell you, but the reality is is okay.
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: Okay, i hear that Let's put that aside until we do the working core values mission.
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: And to a person What they thought, what they came in thinking they wanted to do.
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they discovered who they really are and what their purpose was.
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, 180.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, yeah.
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: And inspired, right, inspired, yeah, people leave their work with you lighter and inspired.
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: Yes, Because that's what alignment feels like.
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: It feels like inspiration, it feels like joy, it feels like lit up inside Yes, yeah And yes, and hope, yeah.
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: It feels like hope, Yeah, and this hope.
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: We can't live without hope.
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: No, no, not for long right, not for long Right.
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: So, christina, thank you so much for coming on the pod and for being with us and for sharing your light and your mission and your vision and all the things.
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: You are absolutely a lightbearer, oh, thank you, And it's such an honor to be part of your journey.
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: I just thank you so much for that.
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: What a joy to be here with you and all of what you're doing, So such a full circle moment for us both.
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: I know right, exactly, i'm sitting here like crying a little bit.
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: I'm so happy Yay.
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: Well, if you want to learn more and to work with Christina.
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: All the information is in the show notes.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being with us today.
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: Loves Peace, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: Here's Diary is a podcast by My Coach, john.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: You can find more at mycoachjohncom uellecom.