Latest / The Twenty One Clear Podcast / Four Stages of Leadership - Part 1: Stages 1-3
Transcript
- 0:06Adam Hatcher: Hey there.
- 0:06Welcome to the 21 Clear Podcast.
- 0:08I'm your host, Adam Hatcher, the founder of 21 Clear, a family business consulting
- 0:13firm, and in this podcast and all of them, we wanna give you time to think about your
- 0:18inner family business, the unique way your family works in and owns the company that
- 0:24you all have together, and help you take one more step on your chaos-proof journey.
- 0:30Today, I am excited to share the first of two parts of what was
- 0:35an incredibly fun and insightful conversation with Norm Smallwood.
- 0:41Norm is the co-founder of RBL, Results Based Leadership Group.
- 0:47RBL is a thought leader and a consulting firm specializing in strategic and
- 0:52human resources consulting, helping you understand your talent and
- 0:57company strategy so that you can get the most from both, have a great
- 1:03career, and build a great company.
- 1:05I know Norm because RBL was referred to me by a large privately held
- 1:13Georgia-based family company when I was looking to restructure our
- 1:18business to take it to the next level.
- 1:20Norm has been an instrumental part of my career, of our family company's
- 1:24journey, and has worked with family companies that are privately and
- 1:28public- privately and publicly held, and those public ones are still controlled
- 1:33by families, but publicly owned.
- 1:35So he has spanned from mid-size to large to publicly owned
- 1:39family or family-based companies.
- 1:41But he's also worked with publicly and privately held companies
- 1:44that weren't family controlled.
- 1:46So what I enjoy in this interview is Norm's experience both understands the
- 1:51unique dynamics of a family company, but can see it in that broader conditional
- 1:56business world that we know doesn't care if you're family owned or not.
- 2:00It's just what can you do in the marketplace for your customers.
- 2:04In this episode, Norm shares something I wish I had either known on day
- 2:09one of my career in the family company or the first day I became the
- 2:14vice president of human resources.
- 2:16It's the four stages of leadership.
- 2:20If you have ever had that concern Am I seen as a high performer?
- 2:27Can I be seen as a high performer?
- 2:30Or the family members that I'm responsible for leading or
- 2:33supervising, are they high performers?
- 2:37Or is this organization I have with people that I've known for a long time that
- 2:42care about me and my family, are they up for what is next for this company?
- 2:47That's a concern all of us carry, and it's a critical part.
- 2:51Understanding that is a critical part of building a great company
- 2:57while you keep your family together.
- 2:59Norm has a simple but deep way of thinking about it that I found helpful, and many
- 3:07other family companies have as well.
- 3:09It's the four stages of leadership.
- 3:12This was a long conversation between the two of us.
- 3:15So this is part one.
- 3:17Norm and I in this, he's gonna introduce the four stages of leadership and
- 3:24then spend time on the first three.
- 3:27That's episode one, and we will take a break.
- 3:30Then in episode two, we will pick up with the fourth stage of leadership and
- 3:36then take some time and talk about the consequences of understanding and applying
- 3:42th- this idea, these four stages, the consequences for you personally and for
- 3:48your organization, both its health, job satisfaction for your employees, and
- 3:53ultimately the value of the business.
- 3:56So stage one, two, and three are in the first episode, stage four and
- 4:01some time thinking about application inside your business in episode two.
- 4:07Enjoy this first part.
- 4:09I have really both enjoyed the conversation and listening
- 4:13back to it with Norm.
- 4:14I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
- 4:17And with that, here's Norm Smallwood.
- 4:20Well, Norm Smallwood, welcome to the 21 Clear podcast.
- 4:24What a privilege.
- 4:26Norm Smallwood: Great to be here, Adam.
- 4:28Looking forward to the conversation
- 4:30Adam Hatcher: Norm, when I introed this episode, I told people
- 4:33you and I have a tr- history.
- 4:35Uh, I, you and I got introduced by a large Georgia, privately held Georgia
- 4:39family company when I got to the point in scaling our family's business that
- 4:44we'd done a few acquisitions, and it just felt too hard to run, and it felt like we
- 4:49needed a new understanding of leadership, and that's how we got introduced.
- 4:53So as we're going through this, I want the listeners to know it's not just
- 4:57that I've read your books and looked at the material you've produced.
- 5:00You and I have actually worked together, and I have seen your ability to look
- 5:03into an organization and its leadership.
- 5:05Uh, so thank you for that, and again, excited to be here today.
- 5:09Norm Smallwood: Yeah, me too.
- 5:10And you've got a gift for doing the, the same thing that you just
- 5:13credited me for, so it's, it's fun to be here and talk about it
- 5:19Adam Hatcher: Well, I hope everybody enjoys this mutual admiration society.
- 5:22Norm Smallwood: Yeah.
- 5:23And
- 5:23you're, and you're younger, handsomer, and thinner than me too
- 5:28Adam Hatcher: That'sâ¦
- 5:29Thankfully, no one can see that, I guess unless you're watching on YouTube.
- 5:33Norm Smallwood: Okay.
- 5:33Yeah, well, I'll just tell them it's true
- 5:36Adam Hatcher: Norm, there is a concept when we were working together you
- 5:39introduced me and our company to, and it's something that you've written about
- 5:43and studied I think every family leader, or even if you've just started in your
- 5:49family company, you should understand.
- 5:51You have this framework of four stages of leadership, but if people think
- 5:56this is just an intellectual exercise, I actually, having lived the family
- 6:01business, believe four stages that you explain that we're gonna talk through
- 6:06answers two fundamental fears that every family leader has to face at some point.
- 6:12The first fear is, what do I actually need to do to be seen by non-family
- 6:18members as a strong performer?
- 6:20Or maybe even, was I ever a strong performer?
- 6:23Am I one?
- 6:24Um, that's a fear we have that I think your four stages gives
- 6:27a practical framework for.
- 6:29But then also, a lot of times families go decades a good way to assess family
- 6:34members, and it ends up costing the business, and they can't see it till
- 6:39later, and I think your stages actually help people see it before it happens.
- 6:44with that, the four stages of leadership, so this is something
- 6:49you've written and you've talked about, the question that I've seen you
- 6:53frame it with is, what do I need to do to be seen as a strong performer?
- 6:59So can you talk about how the four stages, then we'll go through each
- 7:01one, but just in general, like how does it touch that question?
- 7:04Norm Smallwood: Yeah Well, the, my first, uh, partners, uh, were in a
- 7:12consulting firm I had before, uh, we started the RBL Group called, named,
- 7:17uh, Gene Dalton and Paul Thompson.
- 7:20And Gene and Paul were professors at the Harvard Business School, and they were
- 7:25looking at engineering obsolescence.
- 7:29And the idea of engineering obsolescence was that, um, if you hired an engineer,
- 7:39a few years later, you wouldâ¦
- 7:42The question was, should you fire that engineer and hire a new one
- 7:46because the skills that, that that engineer brought with him or her had
- 7:53now become obsolete, and you needed somebody with, uh, more recent skills.
- 8:01And so when, when they looked at that, uh, originally at RCA was the
- 8:08original company that, that, that, uh, they studied, they found that there
- 8:16were-- that, that if you looked at the subject through the lens of age, that
- 8:25at about age thirty-nine, on aggregate, engineering performance declined.
- 8:34But that if you looked at it at an individual base, like if you were
- 8:38to do a scatter plot of engineers, you would find that some engineers
- 8:45became more highly valued over time as they got older than others.
- 8:51So their question became: What differentiates the high performers, those
- 8:58who become more highly valued as they get older, than the aggregate who became
- 9:05less valued as they, as their performance was seen to objectively decline?
- 9:13And so, um, with that question, they, they looked at a number of variables.
- 9:19They looked at the number of hours worked.
- 9:23And actually, there is a slight correlation, but not much, right?
- 9:26It's not really a statistically valid comparison.
- 9:30It looked at, it looked at l-level of education, bachelor's
- 9:34degree, master's degree, PhD.
- 9:37No, no correlation to performance.
- 9:41Number of patents, no correlation to performance.
- 9:44So what did become clear is that expectations change, and that so
- 9:51the longer you've been in your job, there are-- like if you're doing
- 9:56the same work at age thirty-five that you did at age twenty-five,
- 10:04people begin to ask, "What's wrong?"
- 10:07So what became clear to them is that there were what they called stages of
- 10:14performance, and that some peoples, um, were, were able to change the
- 10:21nature of their contribution and stop doing what made them successful,
- 10:28uh, at one stage and begin to take on a new set of knowledge, skills,
- 10:36expectations or perspectives that met the demands of, of expectation over time.
- 10:43That-- And that's what became known as the, as the four stages of performance
- 10:50Adam Hatcher: So it's the people who began to perform different functions
- 10:54as time went on versus doing theâ¦
- 10:58I've heard the phrase used in non-family and family companies, "She did the same.
- 11:04She didn't work here for 30 years, she said, did the same one
- 11:06Norm Smallwood: Exactly.
- 11:08Adam Hatcher: This is people who did different, different things.
- 11:11So then what is, what stageâ¦
- 11:14Let's walk through them.
- 11:15What
- 11:15Norm Smallwood: Sure
- 11:16Adam Hatcher: A- and I think it's fascinating as we go through
- 11:18this, you can't necessarily just work really hard and move
- 11:22Norm Smallwood: Right
- 11:23Adam Hatcher: you could work really hard and do year one 30 times.
- 11:27Norm Smallwood: Yes.
- 11:28No, that's exactly, yeah, that's exactly the, the dilemma.
- 11:31So what happens, you enter the workforce, let's say in your early twenties.
- 11:40You've got a degree, a, an undergraduate or a graduate degree of some, some kind.
- 11:46This, this I said it started with engineers, but it's been over time it's
- 11:51been expanded to every type of knowledge worker in, in virtually every industry.
- 11:57But so when you, when you enter the, the workforce, you tend to be
- 12:03psychologically dependent on others.
- 12:06You need direction.
- 12:09You need to learn how things work around here, the culture of the organization,
- 12:14and you need to pay attention to details.
- 12:18And, uh, if you can do that, people think you're a, a, a high
- 12:25performer with plenty of potential.
- 12:28The problem is that over a couple of years, uh, for most jobs, uh, even the
- 12:36most technical jobs, you have to move from that dependent contributor where you're
- 12:45reliant on others for direction to become an expert or an individual contributor.
- 12:51And so what made you successful in this first stage as a dependent
- 12:56contributor was that you were looking for others to tell you what to do.
- 13:00You were looking for assurance that you were on the right track, um, and so on.
- 13:07Now I'll-- let me throw out a, a piece of information that became really interesting
- 13:13is that the average age in, in like a Fortune 1000 company for somebody doing
- 13:24that kind of work is thirty-eight.
- 13:27So it's not-- The expectation would be that would be a good performer
- 13:32at twenty-two, but when people are describing you that way at thirty-five
- 13:39or forty, that's not good anymore, right?
- 13:42Because you, you haven't made the shift from dependence to independence.
- 13:51So that's the first one, right?
- 13:52From one to two.
- 13:53Go, go ahead.
- 13:54Go ahead.
- 13:54Adam Hatcher: and, uh, if I've seen you use the word, uh, stage one is like
- 13:59apprenticeship, and it reminds me it doesn't have to be a privately held,
- 14:02publicly held, family held company.
- 14:04I remember I went to law school and then was a, a prosecutor, assistant district
- 14:09attorney, and I re- I didn't have these words back then, but I remember the
- 14:13DA saying to me, he said, "Year one, you're gonna mess up every single day.
- 14:18I-- That's why you have a team lead.
- 14:21will make a mistake every single day, and it's going to take you
- 14:24three years to actually begin to contribute back independently to this.
- 14:29For your first two years, my expectation is you are learning the ropes, you are
- 14:34building trust, you're gonna be closely supervised, it really is not gonna beâ¦"
- 14:40So I guess he was saying you are stage one, and then I think where
- 14:42you were going as stage two was when he told me, "The next step is me
- 14:47beginning to trust you independently in
- 14:50Norm Smallwood: Right
- 14:50Adam Hatcher: of a prosecutor."
- 14:51So is that stage two is beginning to contribute independently?
- 14:56Norm Smallwood: Yeah, absolutely.
- 14:57So the shift psychologically is from being dependent on the team leader, uh,
- 15:05DA to I'm an individual contributor.
- 15:09I'm a lawyer who knows how things work around here.
- 15:13I'm considered an expert.
- 15:15Um, you can rely on me to, uh, to, to do the job right.
- 15:22One of the characteristics of individual contributors is that
- 15:29competence becomes their way of comparing themselves with other people.
- 15:35So they're always, you know, "How do I compare to you?"
- 15:40I mean, what-- When we're-- If we're both prosecutors, uh, I start to spend a lot
- 15:46of my time comparing my successes to your successes or my, uh, school that I went
- 15:54to, to the school that you went to, right?
- 15:56So it's very competitive, uh, as an individual contributor.
- 16:00And so, so let me make the, the, the beginning of the shift.
- 16:05You can stay as an individual contributor for your entire career and be considered,
- 16:12uh, a valuable resource to the, uh, to the business, the organization.
- 16:19But, um, it's harder to stay there because Your technical discipline usually, like
- 16:29that was the engineering obsolescence question that wasn't quite right, but
- 16:32because-- b-but, but your, your discipline changes, so your success is dependent
- 16:39on your ability to keep up with the changes in your area as a lawyer, as
- 16:44a banker, as a human resources person.
- 16:48Whatever your technical discipline is, you've gotta keep up with, with that.
- 16:54The average age, I, I did the average age in the, in the dependent contributor.
- 16:59As an independent contributor, the average age is exactly the same.
- 17:03It's about thirty-eight.
- 17:05So there's-- So what we're gonna find here as we go through these, this
- 17:09isn't an age-related thing, right?
- 17:12So, uh, which is really funny because a lot of organizations have, uh, time and
- 17:19seniority systems set up for compensation, so they're not contribution models.
- 17:25They tend to be time and position.
- 17:28Like, we want somebody who's been here for ten years or fifteen
- 17:32years or whatever, and it turns out that that's not a good basis toâ¦
- 17:39Time and job is not a good basis because as you started out with, I could be
- 17:43doing the same job over and over again and not really learning and changing.
- 17:49So the next shift is from independence.
- 17:54You don't have to make this shift, but some people do, is the shift
- 17:59to stage three from stage two, from independence to influence.
- 18:03Adam Hatcher: influence.
- 18:04Norm Smallwood: the--
- 18:04Adam Hatcher: we make
- 18:05Norm Smallwood: Yeah.
- 18:06Yep
- 18:07Adam Hatcher: so in stage two, contributing independently, and I
- 18:12think when you start in your family company, sometimes you're just
- 18:15thrown, thrown, thrown to the wolves.
- 18:18But many times someone's given a mentor, a supervisor.
- 18:21It might be a relative or not, and there is this, particularly
- 18:25if you're the younger generation, there tends to be this desire of I
- 18:28want to be trusted independently.
- 18:31And that'sâ¦
- 18:32But that stage two, I've seen you write that there are four requirements,
- 18:36just to highlight them for people.
- 18:38So you do have a technical expertise.
- 18:40This isn't chief waiting for mom to retire officer or vice
- 18:44president of lots of opinions.
- 18:46There's a specific thing.
- 18:48It's being an engineer.
- 18:49It's being a sales professional.
- 18:50It's being a project manager.
- 18:52There's the ability to operate autonomously.
- 18:54I mean, it doesn't mean you don't have a boss, but it's like back when
- 18:58I was a prosecutor, I went to court and nobody was over my shoulder.
- 19:01That's what you wanted.
- 19:02You demonstrate initiative.
- 19:04You don't just wait to be told, which in family companies can be hard.
- 19:08Your family system can teach you growing up, will always tell me
- 19:12when to take the trash out, but now that I work with Mom, wait for that.
- 19:16Like, I need to show initiative.
- 19:18But then the last one, you have the requirement when you're
- 19:21there in stage two, a willingness to accept accountability.
- 19:25And I find it, like, if you're managing family employees, I guess,
- 19:30Norm, maybe the reason that the age, the average age is the same, forâ¦
- 19:36If you are managing a, a stage two, so someone with technical expertise,
- 19:41who's autonomous, who demonstrates initiative, but as their manager,
- 19:44you're their leader, you never shift the accountability up for them.
- 19:47You never change what's expected of them.
- 19:51That could be one way they end up just staying in stage
- 19:53two for a really long time
- 19:56Norm Smallwood: Yeah, no, I, I think you've nailed it.
- 19:59It's the, umâ¦
- 20:01And I, I think some people enjoy that, uh, it- it's kind of a stage at which
- 20:09you can be kind of a know-it-all in your area of, of expertise, right?
- 20:15Nobody knows more than me about engineering, about
- 20:20sales, about, uh, whatever.
- 20:23And so again, um, you know, your accountability in stage two, you
- 20:30define your accountability as being accountable for being the best expert
- 20:36in, in this narrow area, uh, that, uh, that, that there could be, so.
- 20:42Um, and what we'll see is issues like accountability
- 20:45and initiative change, right?
- 20:47'Cause you could be doing the same job, but depending on what stage
- 20:50you're in, you would be doing those different assignments differently
- 20:55Adam Hatcher: Well, and this is gonna come back in stage three,
- 20:57but I'll just a pin in it here.
- 21:00Norm Smallwood: Yeah
- 21:01Adam Hatcher: uh, a- and it's, can be, any of us can be successful
- 21:04in a family company in stage two.
- 21:07The challenge I heard you give was have to be an expert in something,
- 21:11and it's not an expert relative to your other family members.
- 21:14It's not an expertise relative to the other people in your business.
- 21:19It's actually an expertise against your peers outside the business.
- 21:25A, if when I was the general counsel of the company, or, uh, let's say the head of
- 21:29corporate strategy, it wasn't was it I had the best strategic planner in our company.
- 21:34Compare me against our competitors.
- 21:37Norm Smallwood: Right
- 21:37Adam Hatcher: did I hold up to them or even to some of the thought leaders in
- 21:41Norm Smallwood: Yeah.
- 21:41Adam Hatcher: planning?
- 21:42Norm Smallwood: No, that's right.
- 21:43And if you think about professional associations, like, um, I, I remember
- 21:48years ago when, when, uh, Gene Dalton and Paul Thompson were together
- 21:55at Novations, we did a project with the IEEE, and the IEEE is an
- 22:01association of electrical engineers.
- 22:04And we looked at their career model, and their career model was, you know, they
- 22:10had stage one right, which was, um, you know, to be learning, be an apprentice.
- 22:17And then stage two was, you know, to become an expert in
- 22:21engi- in electrical engineering.
- 22:24And then stageâ¦
- 22:25Now, they didn't really call it stage.
- 22:27Then they said the next career level was to be an even bigger expert so that you
- 22:32were kind of a super expert, and then you could become an even super super,
- 22:38like a world-renowned super expert.
- 22:41And, and they just kind of missed the logic of, you know, that in, if you
- 22:49looked at it through the stages lens, it's really about contribution, uh,
- 22:55to the business and to the, maybe to the field, which isn't to be better
- 23:02and better in a, in a very narrow area
- 23:05Adam Hatcher: Mm.
- 23:05So let's take that and move to st- c- 'cause you called it super expert.
- 23:10But stage three, I've heard you say you go from, you know, stage one, apprenticeship,
- 23:14stage two, contributing independently, stage three, contributing through others.
- 23:20Norm Smallwood: others.
- 23:20Yeah.
- 23:21Adam Hatcher: ex-
- 23:21Norm Smallwood: So con- so contri- so you're an expert, you're, you're a
- 23:26super expert, doesn't matter, right?
- 23:28Uh, but, but then you begin to broaden out and to look across
- 23:34technical areas becauseâ¦
- 23:37So let's say I'm in sales, I need to begin to think about, well, what
- 23:43about, uh, what about manufacturing?
- 23:45What about our strategy?
- 23:47What about the, the engagement of the people?
- 23:50Are we-- But we begin to take a broader perspective in stage three that, that
- 23:58al- that allows me to consider not myself, just myself and to optimize me.
- 24:06It's really how do I optimize the team or the function or
- 24:10the area that I'm a part of?
- 24:12And I can only do that by looking across, not just within
- 24:16my own technical expertise.
- 24:19So stage three people turn out to be really, really important.
- 24:25Even we're gonna go to stage four, which is, you know, uh, seems like it's the
- 24:30more, even more senior, but stage three people are where everything happens.
- 24:35You know, you think about a family business or virtually any
- 24:38business, it's that influencer, the person who can make things happen.
- 24:43It's the person who knows how the company works, has the right network
- 24:50and can, you know, in hockey metaphor, can stick handle through the bureaucracy
- 24:57and sort of land things, whether it's a project, a new project, new product, um,
- 25:05it, it becomes, uh, the critical role.
- 25:08And you don't-- The funny thing about being in these stages is to
- 25:13move from stage two to stage three, somebody doesn't need to promote you.
- 25:18You can just start based on your understanding of how
- 25:23things work in your company.
- 25:25You can sort of self-promote, right?
- 25:28You can start doing things differently.
- 25:31Uh, and you don't, you don't need a, a promotion.
- 25:35You should get, uh, compensation and so on that, that is commensurate with the
- 25:43contribution, but you might not, right?
- 25:45And, uh, certainly not in the traditional way of, of, uh, time and grade
- 25:53Adam Hatcher: I, I'm guessing people hearing you talk about stage three
- 25:57are thinking this, the key sign, the key indicator of moving to that
- 26:03stage and contributing through others is that now you're leading a team.
- 26:08And when we hear stage three, depending on the size of our company,
- 26:12we think it's a team of three or a team of 15 or a team of 50 or 100.
- 26:18Uh, for the introverts listening to this, Norm, do you have ⦠I,
- 26:23I think you just answered this, but I wanna call it out explicitly.
- 26:26Do you have to, to contribute through others, do you have to also lead a team?
- 26:33Norm Smallwood: No.
- 26:34No.
- 26:34As, as a matter of fact, that's why I said, uh, to lead a team formally,
- 26:40somebody needs to promote you and, and assign you a, a role to be the, to be the
- 26:48leader of the team, like I'm a manager.
- 26:51But you could also be a coach, a mentor, an idea leader, which are sort of more
- 26:57on the technical side, not a people leader, but your, your influence is,
- 27:04is felt not necessarily in an assignâ¦
- 27:08It could be.
- 27:09You could be a coach or a manager, butâ¦
- 27:11Or not a coach.
- 27:12You could be a, a manager, a team leader in an assigned way, but it, it,
- 27:18uh, it doesn't have to work that way.
- 27:20And one of the things that you hear in, in the shift from individual
- 27:25contributor too to, uh, idea leader, mentor, coach, is that sometimes people
- 27:33will promote the best Uh, expert to become the formal leader of the team.
- 27:42And when that, when that happens, the person who isn't really in stage three
- 27:49gets the role, the formal role, it's easy to say, you know, we lost a good engineer
- 27:55and got a crappy supervisor because remember we said that the nature of people
- 28:00in stage two is to be very competitive,
- 28:10micromanager.
- 28:11So, um, in every way imaginable, if you're not in stage three, if
- 28:13you're not like this broad technical perspective, you know, care about
- 28:19others, you know, a developer, an integrator, a synthesizer, an influencer,
- 28:26um, if you're not that, then it's really hard to scale the company.
- 28:32So if you were talking about family business, one of the biggest problems
- 28:35is if you have a family member who's a, is a, is a stage two expert, they're
- 28:42put in a, the head of something, whether the whole business or a team
- 28:47or a function, and then they're really competitive and micromanaging, you
- 28:51can't grow the business because that person cares about the, the, whatever
- 28:58their area is, the financial side, the too much about the product side, only
- 29:04about the-- it's not an integrated view.
- 29:07Then very quickly employees don't feel valued or developed.
- 29:13Um, the customer experience, you know, you have to have a stage three person
- 29:18to get the customer experience because those are the people that care about
- 29:23making sure that the employee and the customer have the right experience.
- 29:27Everything happens at, you know, for your business, it's critical to
- 29:31g- to be in that stage three role.
- 29:34And the challenge is some people just don't like doing that.
- 29:38They want to be experts.
- 29:40So
- 29:42Adam Hatcher: a big shift hearing you talk about it, mentally or professionally or
- 29:47maybe even from a humility perspective.
- 29:52In stage two, working with a family recently, and we were exploring this
- 29:57concept of being for each other.
- 30:00I'm gonna build trust with you by showing you I am for you and for your
- 30:04good and for this company's good, not just out for my own interests.
- 30:08But in stage two, competitive part, there's a little bit where you've been
- 30:13given guide rails, and you can kinda be f- like you're f- you're probably
- 30:16in an area you like, and you get good at it, and you wanna beat other
- 30:21people and be competitive, and that's that conditional nature of business.
- 30:25You've got, you've got to be good and be getting better.
- 30:28Stage three, it feels like you actually are starting to leave that, and you
- 30:32have to prove to people, "I'm not just for me and being good at what I do.
- 30:38I'm for you.
- 30:39I'm managing this project 'cause I want you and the customers
- 30:42to be successful, not me.
- 30:43I'm mentoring you not 'cause I wanna be seen as a great mentor,
- 30:46because I want you to develop.
- 30:48I'm not an idea leader like a chief, chief complaining officer that
- 30:53you're not doing a good enough job.
- 30:56trying to help create organizational ideas or structures for the business
- 31:01and for you to be successful.
- 31:03actually, s- you stage twos are gonna get more of the credit 'cause you're gonna
- 31:07be doing the work and contributing."
- 31:09It, it feels like a really big and maybe even difficult shift from the
- 31:13comfort of, "I proved I'm good," to, "Now I have to make others
- 31:18good," clients, company, employees.
- 31:21Norm Smallwood: It's not about me anymore, it's about the success of us.
- 31:25So yeah, so the, the sh- so let's go through the shifts again.
- 31:29The shift from in, it, the, what you have to be great at in one is dependence.
- 31:35You have to be willing to rely on others to show you the ropes,
- 31:40and you have to listen and learn.
- 31:43That's-- Then you have to stop doing that.
- 31:45You have to stop doing that, then you become this independent contributor.
- 31:50You have to be somebody who's got, who's an expert, who's
- 31:53self-reliant, who's competitive.
- 31:56Then you have to stop doing that to get to three, and you have to s-sort
- 31:59of shift from, it's about really increasing my expertise in this narrower
- 32:07area to caring about the integration.
- 32:11So from, from individual expertise to integration, to synthesis, to influence,
- 32:20to, you know, to coaching, to developing.
- 32:25It's, it's again, it's, it's about from, from me in one and two to us in three.
- 32:32So it's, uh, they, they, they're huge psychological shifts.
- 32:37That's why they're hard, right?
- 32:39And the term novation, because you're a lawyer, I will say this, is, is,
- 32:46is actually a legal term, and the term means a renegotiation of an
- 32:51expectation with concerned parties.
- 32:54So every time you make a, a career shift, you have to renegotiate your role in the
- 33:03organization because the expectations, not that you have, but that others have
- 33:09of you are what you've been doing, right?
- 33:11So everybody expects you to be an expert, and now you're
- 33:15interested in the broader issues
- 33:19Adam Hatcher: One of the hardest things in a family company is where you this
- 33:23sense that you drift between roles, and you could actually be drifting from one
- 33:29to two to three as far as expectations without ever this moment of reinvention.
- 33:35I hadn't thought about that till you said it.
- 33:37The import- uh, the importance of declaring a reinvention when
- 33:43you're working with your family is it lets you reset expectations.
- 33:47Iâ¦
- 33:47Last week, friend of mine was promoted from lieutenant colonel to colonel,
- 33:52and I went to the ceremony, and I watched one of his sons read the
- 33:56orders, and the other son took his pin and replaced it with a colonel
- 34:01pin, and it was a distinct reinvention
- 34:06Norm Smallwood: a symbolic, uhâ¦
- 34:08Yeah, it's very symbolic, right?
- 34:10And I, I love the idea of the symbolism of saying, "I've changed ranks and
- 34:18the, and there's an expectation that I can't do things exactly the
- 34:22same way that I did them before.
- 34:24I have to do things differently," right?
- 34:27I, I'm, I'm expected to do differently.
- 34:31The problem is when people are expected to do differently, but then they really
- 34:37are unable to do it because that's not really what their predisposition
- 34:41is, and then there's that gap, right?
- 34:44Adam Hatcher: well, and my guess is to that, in your, the first two
- 34:48stages, the average age was 38 or 39.
- 34:51I'm guessing the average age of stage three is also 38 or 39?
- 34:57And-
- 34:58Norm Smallwood: there's, there's, there's-- it is not age-related.
- 35:01It is-- The other-- There's two things that people think these s-stages
- 35:05are related to because it's, it's standard practice to think that it's
- 35:13either age, older people have, um, you know, the, an ex- a different
- 35:20set of perspectives or it's position.
- 35:24So, um, you know, it's, it's, uhâ¦
- 35:28I remember the first time we were, we-- early on, we started with Gene and Paul,
- 35:34we would do these, um, you know, look at expectation in senior leadership groups.
- 35:42And I remember the first time a CEO said, "Gee, I'm in stage two."
- 35:47And the senior leadership team around him was saying, "We know."
- 35:51Right?
- 35:51He was a finance guy, and everything that they did had to go through all of these
- 35:59hurdles that, you know, were self-imposed.
- 36:03And, um, and he was-- uh, this, this company, I won't say the name of it,
- 36:07but this company has continued to grow partially because he took himself
- 36:11out of the CEO role and, and hired somebody to do that role that really
- 36:18was able to do it better than he was.
- 36:21It just was-- it didn't match his interests or perspectives.
- 36:26But he'd grown a, you know, billion-dollar company as a stage two guy.
- 36:32So, but it didn't make it easy
- 36:35Adam Hatcher: And that is, I remember w- I, I was actually
- 36:41playing golf at a event, and I wasâ¦
- 36:45And we were walking the round, and so it gives you a lot of time to talk.
- 36:48And I was walking with a guy that was late in his career, CEO of a
- 36:53family company, had successfully onboarded generation three.
- 36:57And he had that moment, Norm, that I have heard so many times, but this was
- 37:01the first time I heard someone say it.
- 37:03He said, "You know, Adam, I kinda always wondered if I'm
- 37:07as good as my title and if I
- 37:09Norm Smallwood: Yeah
- 37:10Adam Hatcher: this responsibility outside of my family company."
- 37:14And underneathâ¦
- 37:15I didn't have those words back then, underneath it, what he was saying
- 37:19was, have the title commensurate with a stage four, but, uh, but am I a
- 37:26stage two reality, and could I have gotten to this title somewhere else?"
- 37:32And what you've just touched on, I think it's this fear that itâ¦
- 37:36For ev- every family leader I've ever met, we all wonder the same thing, if
- 37:41you haven't worked outside the company or worked outside the company much.
- 37:45Could I have done this else?
- 37:48So then stage fourâ¦
- 37:50Norm Smallwood: the way, by the way, the comment for me on that one would
- 37:53be it's very easy in a-- Like, in a family company, it happens because
- 37:59you've got the right last name.
- 38:01In a, in a growth company, it happens because you're available.
- 38:06So it can happenâ¦
- 38:07You don't have to be in a family company to find yourself in a role which doesn't
- 38:13match where the, where the incumbent in the role doesn't have the expected
- 38:20knowledge, skills, and perspectives.
- 38:22That happens all the time.
- 38:24We see that, uhâ¦
- 38:25So it's-- I understand why it would be a concern because maybe
- 38:30it was, you know, the, the gift of, of family that, that I got here.
- 38:35But, uh, it is-- I mean, every time we do these, uh, we, we do these, what we
- 38:43call them, is pipeline audits, we see the same thing going on because somebody's
- 38:49available when the company's growing, so they get put in that, uh, in that role,
- 38:53and it creates all kinds of problems
- 38:56Adam Hatcher: from a negative family business perspective, it can happen
- 38:59because of nepotism, but the same thing can happen in non-family companies.
- 39:04Availability is what you've seen.
- 39:06I think from a positive family business perspective with negative consequences,
- 39:10sometimes it happens 'cause you've got someone who can buy the company.
- 39:14Norm Smallwood: Yeah.
- 39:15Adam Hatcher: to
- 39:15Norm Smallwood: Yeah
- 39:16Adam Hatcher: 'cause you can finance the company, just because you have a
- 39:20certain degree, just 'cause you work a certain amount of hours or are a
- 39:23certain age, doesn't necessarily mean you're stage two, three, four, just
- 39:29like being available doesn't mean it.
- 39:32Uh, so what isâ¦
- 39:35So that is stages one, two, and three from our conversation.
- 39:42In the next episode, we're gonna pick up stage four and then apply
- 39:46it or talk about some practical applications for you personally, for
- 39:50your family, and for your organization.
- 39:53I hope that you've got some ideas running through your head after this episode.
- 39:57Every episode we record, our goal is to give you things that will let you
- 40:02sit and think about your inner family business, that unique way you work in and
- 40:06own your company together, and take some of these concepts and apply them to it.
- 40:11A couple things in the show notes I wanna share with you.
- 40:13There's a link to RBL's website where you can get in touch with
- 40:17Norm, and you can also, uh, get in touch with other members of his team.
- 40:22Second, weâ¦
- 40:24There are a couple of books that Norm has done that I really like, and
- 40:28I've linked to one of them called The Leadership Code in the show notes.
- 40:32There's even an assessment in it that when I took it, made me ask some pretty tough
- 40:35questions about myself and my stages, but it ultimately helped me in my career.
- 40:41So those two things are in the show notes, and I hope those
- 40:44resources are helpful to you.
- 40:46Look for the next episode where we finish the conversation with Norm Smallwood.
- 40:50My best to you and your inner family business and its health and journey, and
- 40:54as my grandfather would have said, thank you so very, very much for listening.