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How to Influence Without Compromising Your Faith · Relish: a Christian podcast

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  Relish pleasing or zestful flavor a quantity
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  just sufficient to flavor to be pleased or
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  gratified by enjoy we are hoping that what
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  we bring to your table today might add some spice to your life welcome back
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  to another episode of relish i am roan miller this is don patterson don how
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  are we doing let me check yep we're doing good baseline you know establish a
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  baseline we We can move from there,
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  right? Yeah, I like that. Yeah. We can do that.
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  All right. Today, we'll be sending some questions your way.
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  I'm bracing for it. I'm ready. Our NYF teacher always tells us that if you hang
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  out with a skunk, you're going to smell like a skunk. Yeah.
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  What's the balance there with people that aren't good influences on us?
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  Because they obviously would need us some, but we also shouldn't necessarily
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  be around them all the time. So how does that work?
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  I'm thinking about the way Paul talks about it.
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  I think it's in 1 Corinthians 9, all things to all people, and by doing so, save some.
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  Yeah. So 1 Corinthians 9, and verses.
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  So, though I'm free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone,
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  to win as many as possible. That's what you're talking about.
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  And so he's saying, okay, I've got this down, I'm free, so I'm not a slave to anyone.
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  But to the Jews, I became like a Jew to win the Jews.
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  To those under the law, I became like one under the law, like one under the
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  law, though I myself were not under the law. so as to win those under the law.
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  To those not having the law, I became like one having the law,
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  not having the law, though I'm not free from God's law, but I'm under Christ's law.
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  So as to win those not having the law, to the weak, I became weak to win the weak.
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  I have become all things to all men so that by all means possible, I might save some.
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  I do this for the sake of the gospel that I may share in its blessings.
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  So how does that flesh out in the real now?
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  Notice that each time he talks about any people group, he says like,
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  so he reflects it, doesn't mean it affects who he is.
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  And so in situations I've been in, in the past, I don't necessarily do everything
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  that that people group does, even if I'm in their presence.
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  So if I walk into a bar, I don't grab a beer.
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  That's not my nature anyway, but hamburger or something like that,
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  I, you know, so you're rubbing shoulders.
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  Construction sites is usually where I found those really ruffian kind of folks.
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  And, and I just, I, I'm, I'm myself.
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  I'm, I want to be anchored in Christ from my discipleship, my personal discipleship,
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  but I don't isolate a people group and I don't lord it over them.
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  Like I'm something, oh boy, I'm much better than you because I'm a Christian,
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  you know, and I don't do those things.
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  I don't drink and chew and I don't go with those who do kind of thing.
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  Smoke, drink and chew. Is that what it was? And I don't date girls that do?
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  I haven't heard that one, but it sounds like a good call. That's from my era
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  rather than yours. Okay.
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  But in that little statement, that little jingle was our way of saying,
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  okay, mama and daddy want us to make sure we date good girls because that's
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  a reflection of who we are.
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  In the same way, then, when we walk in the world with this Jesus relationship
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  that we have, we walk like Jesus did.
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  And I notice when we go through the Gospels, Jesus was often accused,
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  especially by the Pharisees and the Sadducees and the teachers of the law,
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  that he was eating and drinking with sinners.
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  Oh, my goodness, that's terrible, isn't it?
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  But he was there with a purpose.
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  So if you're in those circles, are you there with a purpose?
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  Are we walking in this world, rubbing our shoulders with unbelievers,
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  with a purpose? Because your youth leader is not off because if you roll with
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  the skunks, you're going to smell like a skunk.
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  And so unless you're really solid in who you are in Christ, it's dangerous.
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  And I'd say maybe they're right with young.
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  I mean, you're very studious and you've got a good handle on your person,
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  but how easily it would it be for you to be persuaded?
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  Compared to an old fart. I mean, an old individual who has, I'm pretty set in my ways. Yeah.
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  So maybe it's different depending on how long you've walked with the Lord.
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  So don't roll with the skunk very often. So...
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  Part of it is maturity in our walk with Christ. And even that then informs how
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  we walk with one another outside of the church building.
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  Construction sites, do you change your language at a construction site because
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  everybody else is cussing up a storm?
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  No. We as Christians walk to that construction site as Christians.
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  And so our language is going to be our normal language.
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  But boy I it's hard it's hard
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  yeah I had a guy who I used during one
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  of the times I was not in ministry I was
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  operating concrete truck and used used
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  to have a guy that was called smiley and he
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  was he was smiley he was he owned his own crew
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  and and he was called smiley because
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  he didn't that man just didn't smile and
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  and crude language just abrasive language
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  and he was mean on the site and and i i hear i was a newbie to this business
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  and i was driving up in a concrete truck and and i did my very best to anticipate
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  what he wanted do everything according to what he liked to have happen.
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  And he could chew me out upside and I, I was quiet.
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  And then I just, you know, matter of factly say, so I didn't do what you wanted done.
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  Sometimes he took that well and sometimes he didn't. But over the course of
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  the time we were together, I noticed his language changed when he talked to me.
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  His demeanor changed when he talked to me. He might be chewing everybody else
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  out on the work site, but he changed his attitude towards me.
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  And when I left, he was sorry to see me go. And he smiled.
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  Okay. I think we can have that effect on the world around us and hope to influence
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  lives in dramatic sometimes, but at least small ways for Christ.
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  To me, that's our kingdom activity. That's what we do as believers for the world around us.
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  Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, maybe I, I might smell a little like Smiley, but I.
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  It was good. Yeah. It was good to see the change. Yeah.
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  I remember Joss telling us when he would, when he moved to appliances,
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  the guys that he would move stuff with, they'd make jokes, inappropriate jokes, whatever.
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  And they'd be like, Josh, don't you think that's funny? And he kind of just
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  like, wouldn't laugh. And eventually they just stopped telling him around him.
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  They'd still do it to each other, but they wouldn't say it to him because they
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  just knew he wouldn't find it funny. Yeah.
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  And it affects the environment around us. Yeah.
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  So maybe, you know, if you roll with skunks, you'll smell like a skunk.
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  But maybe if they start rolling with us, they'll smell like roses.
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  Maybe. Think about that. Hopefully, but hopefully we smell like roses.
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  Well, okay. Maybe not roses.
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  Okay. We got off on that one a little bit far.
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  Yeah. Oh, man. But yeah, kind of trying to meet them where they're at,
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  but maybe not all the way.
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  Well, be mindful that as that activity can influence us, we sort of put up our
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  guard for that activity so we don't start smelling like the skunk. Yeah.
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  But in reverse, influence others.
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  I think, well, just what we're doing right now.
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  We're influencers because we're trying to influence a generation with this conversation
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  that we're having. Yeah.
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  And maybe this conversation is different than the other things that's been heard.
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  So I'm, I'm hoping that, I don't know. Do I become an influencer?
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  Do you come back? You're an influencer.
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  Yeah. Maybe. Why not? We can, we can be influencers, not prideful, but influencers.
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  That word isn't necessarily the greatest. Isn't. Okay. I don't know.
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  If it's for Christ. If you're walking around some big city and said,
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  I'm an influencer, then.
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  Oh, that would be stinky. Yeah. That'd be stinky. Yeah.
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  Yeah. Okay. But you're right. We're, yeah.
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  Trying to influence the generation. So. Yeah. Hopefully smell more like roses than before. Yeah.
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  Life. Yeah. Live into others. Yeah.
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  Cool. Just interested when you're, when you're talking to somebody or like just met them. And...
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  Potentially trying to disciple them. Do you bring up that you're a pastor? No, no.
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  I don't know why. Usually that seems to just. It really does.
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  Yeah. It really does. It's all of a sudden a curtain drops and conversation's over. Yeah.
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  But, you know, I try to get around that as much as possible.
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  And it's not like I'm not proud of being a pastor.
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  Well, pride is cometh before the fall, right? But I'm secure in my vocation.
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  I'm secure in my vocation. I think God's called me to this for a reason.
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  That being the case, there's a division in people's minds when they talk about
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  who's a pastor and who isn't.
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  And a lot of times it's the holier than thou.
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  I'm so much holier than thou that I can't speak to you.
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  I can't relate to somebody like on that level. Or it's, oh, you're out for money,
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  because that's what they see on TV, that they're out for money.
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  It just creates divisions to use that as a lead-in.
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  So most of the times that I've effectively talked to people about the gospel
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  or influenced them in that conversation, it's actually been in other platforms, other vocation.
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  Well, I do lots of different things.
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  And so usually the pastor card is the last one that I'll use.
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  Unless they kind of act directly and put you in a corner for it.
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  And sometimes they have. Yeah. Yeah.
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  And yeah, it's a, but I will confirm what Jesus says.
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  I think it's in Matthew 24 when he says, don't worry about what you're going to say ahead of time.
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  Because I will bring the Holy Spirit to inform you as to how you talk in those conversations.
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  And I found in my own life that when I get in those situations where I'm actually
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  given an open spot to share the gospel, Jesus shows up through the Holy Spirit
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  and gives me what I need to talk about.
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  And I praise the Lord for it because I don't have a script ahead of time that
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  I use in those situations, mainly because I find it pretty ineffective.
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  I mean, if somebody wants my testimony, I can do that.
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  And that's pretty well laid out. But if I'm talking about Christ,
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  then I want to know what their thoughts are. Why the question?
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  Where'd it come from? Where in their life does that spiritual itch need scratched?
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  And when I listen carefully to what they're saying, then that usually informs what needs to be said.
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  And so I find that the Holy Spirit shows up in those times and helps me,
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  which I need. I praise the Lord for it.
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  You know, part of the part of being a pastor is we get wordy and then we talk
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  too much and some, yeah, they think they're getting a sermon.
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  And then instantly go to sleep or at least tune you out.
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  Yeah, got to keep it interesting. Got to keep it interesting.
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  All right. How do we fix the log in our own eye before the speck in our neighbor's eye? Matthew 7.
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  Well, the first piece is we recognize, okay, I see it in you because it's in me. Okay.
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  And so because it's in me, then I have to deal with it. And usually it has to do with admitting it.
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  I mean, that's the very first piece. of getting the log out of your own eye, is admitting it.
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  And in admitting it, confess your sins, and He is faithful, just,
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  and will forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
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  Confession is a major part of getting the log out of your eye.
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  And so you admit it's there. The second piece is equally important.
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  And Christ would talk about repentance, and that's doing 180.
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  So if it's something physically present, that's nice. If it's something physically
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  present, you can pull a booger out and you're all right.
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  But most of the things that Christ would talk about in that situation are the
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  things that, do I have an addiction?
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  Do I have hang up? Do I have a prejudice? Do I have anger?
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  That means that somehow or another, I'm going to want to repent of that.
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  And repentance in that form is 180.
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  So how do I do 180 in the way I think about thus and so?
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  The way I approach alcoholism? How do I do a 180 in the way I approach alcohol?
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  When it used to be my crutch, how can I understand that it's actually a plague
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  on my life? Pornography.
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  It became such a major part of my life at one point.
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  It affected habits. How do I make it 180 and put something else?
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  Either put something else there, like the scripture, or deal with the void in my heart.
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  I mean, a lot of these things come from heart wounds, or we've set up a foothold for Satan.
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  And so they need that 180 to deal with whatever it was that got us into that.
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  The fact that we recognize it in someone else points it out in our own life,
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  but it's the dealing with, I think you've pointed out appropriately,
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  it's the dealing with, in our own life that is the bigger piece.
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  So confession and then repentance, 180, so that we then can know how to deal with the individual.
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  I point to alcoholism and pornography, those addictive behaviors that we say,
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  oh boy, that guy's addicted to such and such and so and so.
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  How much of it is in my own life?
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  And so then I am able from dealing with it in my own life now to go up to that
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  individual and say, okay, I see that you're being affected by pornography.
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  And I was addicted at one time. I know what it feels like to get on the other side. Can I help you?
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  Then we can start working with the speck in their eye.
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  But those kinds of behaviors that are, i
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  just think it's iron it's ironic that jesus sees
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  it so clearly that when we
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  point it out in somebody else it's actually in
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  our own life this comes
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  into my mind so i had an old man in church one time come up to me and say you
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  know this young lady she wears her dresses way too low in the front and uh you
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  need to go take care of that you know and i as a pastor i thought what,
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  i was sort of new to the congregation and in
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  in realizing and thinking about it i realized you know
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  i'm not sure the problem is her breast line
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  or her cleavage yeah it's probably how the old guy looks at her cleavage and
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  so i i i dealt with it from that perspective saying you know I'm not sure that
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  the problem is her cleavage. I think it's how you look at her cleavage.
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  And I think Jesus also works with that.
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  Interestingly enough, in the same Sermon on the Mount,
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  He deals with that as the fact that if we're looking, there's probably something going on.
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  You've heard it said that don't commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone
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  who looks at a woman lustily has committed adultery in his heart already.
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  Okay. So I think it's a really telling passage. I just love chapter seven because
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  it's Jesus' way of saying, hey, I know what it's like to be human.
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  And I know what attitudes are like.
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  And we tend to disrupt our peace with each other by how we look at that speck
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  of dust in somebody else's eye.
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  I use that passage to say, okay, if something bugs me that you do,
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  then I'm going to look at my life first and say, okay, why does that bug me?
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  When Rowan does this, why does this bug me?
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  And then I start to look at my own life and realize, oh, I've got this log in
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  my eye and I take care of it.
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  Imagine how that would change the world. Yeah. If all of us who have,
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  well, boy, my neighbor always mows extra six inches extra over on my property line.
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  Well, why does that bother me? Well, maybe I have a thing with my property,
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  you know, I need to deal with that in my own life.
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  I just, if we would work with every situation that bugs us like that,
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  oh, that guy cut me off in traffic.
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  Well, do you cut off people in traffic? Are you in a major hurry?
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  Are you driving like maybe you have to have this lane right now? And are you, yeah.
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  So we start looking at our lives differently.
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  That makes us, I think, more able to receive criticism and do it well, redemptively.
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  And yeah, I just love that passage because I find that has been very helpful in my life.
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  Nice to look at myself paul talks about looking at our lives circumspectly,
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  aware of our surroundings and aware of how we influence so aware of all that's
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  around us and all that we're doing in it nice all right i think got through
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  two questions in 20 minutes so see that's the thing about a preacher always
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  makes it long always windy oh man.
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  It's good though it's good I like when you get when
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  we get deeper into questions like that so okay yeah well hopefully you guys
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  too yeah you do also and let us know if you have any questions for us or wanting
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  to explain a little more on something right especially if we get fuzzy and Donnie's
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  you know yeah get in the language and,
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  mess up somewhere yeah well thank you guys for joining us we will see you next time Lord willing,
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  thank you for joining us for this podcast feel free to become part of this ministry
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  by sharing with others our goal is to help each other grow deeper in our understanding
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  of who god is and is calling to us in our daily lives thank you again for joining
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  us and may god bless your day.