Latest / Very Fine Friends / Bonus IMPROV - What Do You Mean You Got Ice?
Transcript
- 0:00welcome to very fine friends what no yes can you believe it oh my god oh it's okay it's so exciting
- 0:20you're so excited what kind of what kind of very fine friends is this a regular episode
- 0:24No, it's bonus improv.
- 0:27Oh, God.
- 0:28Oh, God.
- 0:29I know.
- 0:29It's okay, little boy.
- 0:30You're going to be okay.
- 0:31Oh, Mom.
- 0:34I think the only way we need to get started is a little suggestion from Joe.
- 0:37Think you would?
- 0:40Yeah.
- 0:41Think you would?
- 0:43Your suggestion is urinal.
- 0:47It's a weird, weird concept to me.
- 0:52Urinal?
- 0:52I wouldn't expect you to get it
- 0:55I mean
- 0:56it's just funny that just like
- 0:58half the population is totally cool
- 1:01with just being like
- 1:02just whipping it out and peeing against a wall
- 1:04not me
- 1:05you don't use a urinal?
- 1:07there's a stall, I'm going to that stall every time
- 1:10check for holes, nice
- 1:11I just hope
- 1:13that there will be
- 1:15hope is not a strategy
- 1:16bring your drill next time
- 1:18is that why you always have
- 1:23like an auger
- 1:24with you
- 1:25yeah
- 1:27yeah
- 1:27great Christmas gift
- 1:29by the way
- 1:29I use it all the time
- 1:30oh well I'm glad
- 1:31I sing Christmas tunes
- 1:33while I drill
- 1:34hmm
- 1:35God rest ye merry gentlemen
- 1:38here comes Santa Claus
- 1:39um
- 1:42yeah
- 1:43I heard a story once
- 1:44about a kid who
- 1:45um
- 1:45took a bite out of a urinal cake
- 1:47um
- 1:48Not knowing what it was.
- 1:49It's like, you ate out of the toilet?
- 1:51Yeah, I mean.
- 1:52Who cares if it's food you know?
- 1:55Just because it was called cake?
- 1:56No, it doesn't even look like a cake, you dummy.
- 1:59No, I don't think that had anything to do with it.
- 2:01I think it was like a little kid and like saw something in the urinal and like.
- 2:05Put it in his mouth?
- 2:07He took a bite.
- 2:07And he got it close to his face and it smelled like pee and he still went for it?
- 2:11I'm assuming that this kid was probably like three to four years old.
- 2:15Urinal height?
- 2:15I don't know.
- 2:17I don't know.
- 2:17Knee high to a urinal.
- 2:18So he just opened his mouth and went, ha, ha, ha, walk towards it.
- 2:22I was yawning and walking.
- 2:24That's so gross.
- 2:25I know.
- 2:26I don't know how you ever look at your child the same.
- 2:30What's the benefit of putting ice in the urinals?
- 2:36You ever?
- 2:37I don't know, actually.
- 2:40I heard that.
- 2:42I'm sorry.
- 2:42Joe is shaking his head.
- 2:43What is going on over there?
- 2:44No, there's no benefit.
- 2:46It's just like it makes it easier.
- 2:51I think it makes it easier to clean for the staff Oh maybe it stops splashing I would think it would have more splashing It would probably have more splashing but
- 3:01Splashing through the piss.
- 3:05Or soap and pee.
- 3:06I had heard, and I don't think this is the main reason that they do it,
- 3:10but the ancillary reason that I heard was
- 3:13that it gives customers something to aim at.
- 3:17Like they...
- 3:18Oh.
- 3:18like
- 3:20that's why
- 3:21you put things
- 3:22in like
- 3:23so that they're not
- 3:23going all over the place
- 3:25especially in bars
- 3:25oh
- 3:26interesting
- 3:26yeah
- 3:26that's
- 3:27the Google AI
- 3:28overview
- 3:29listed three
- 3:30principal reasons
- 3:30and that's
- 3:31reason number three
- 3:32hmm
- 3:32uh
- 3:34it also I guess
- 3:35reduces the odor
- 3:35which I guess
- 3:37kind of makes sense
- 3:38yeah
- 3:38that's
- 3:39that's a good
- 3:40it also says
- 3:41it prevents
- 3:41clogs
- 3:43how
- 3:44clogs with P
- 3:46it prevents
- 3:47Danish shoes
- 3:48yeah
- 3:48in older buildings with longer corroded sewer pipes the slow melt water helps push acidic
- 3:55buildup and residue through the lines before they can cause severe clogs or intense chemical odors
- 3:59now we know now we know i heard something funny where um i don't know if it was like a gun store
- 4:05i don't know some let's just say manly type establishment and in the in the bathroom there
- 4:13was a
- 4:14man
- 4:15like a picture
- 4:16of a man
- 4:16and his like
- 4:17private parts
- 4:18were covered by
- 4:19like a wooden
- 4:20panel
- 4:20and
- 4:22if you move
- 4:23the panel
- 4:23it sets off
- 4:24a loud noise
- 4:25throughout the
- 4:25whole store
- 4:26so everyone
- 4:27knows
- 4:28that you
- 4:28looked
- 4:29yeah
- 4:29like
- 4:29that's funny
- 4:30yeah
- 4:31but
- 4:33probably
- 4:34it happened
- 4:34a lot
- 4:35I'm sure
- 4:36yeah
- 4:37and now
- 4:39improv
- 4:41Tabitha, great. Where have you been? The party's going to start any minute now.
- 4:51I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
- 4:52All right. Well, did you get the charcuterie?
- 4:55Uh-huh. Check.
- 4:55All right. Perfect. And the grapes?
- 4:57Check.
- 4:58And the little cocktail napkins that I wanted?
- 5:00Check.
- 5:01Okay. Perfect. Oh, one last thing. Did you get my toilet ice?
- 5:08Oh, I got ice, yeah. For the party?
- 5:11What do you mean you got ice?
- 5:12What kind of ice?
- 5:13I got ice.
- 5:14I got...
- 5:14Toilet ice.
- 5:16What?
- 5:17It's...
- 5:17Let me see the bag.
- 5:18Oh, cold, cold, cold.
- 5:19It's cold, yeah.
- 5:20It's a 20-pounder.
- 5:21It's just regular ice.
- 5:23Yeah.
- 5:24I thought...
- 5:24Because it's a party.
- 5:25Oh, my God.
- 5:26We can't use this.
- 5:26This is supposed to be for the toilet.
- 5:28What?
- 5:30I didn't know there was such a thing as toilet ice.
- 5:32What?
- 5:33I told you specifically...
- 5:34Why would I say toilet ice if it wasn't part of the purchase?
- 5:39I thought you...
- 5:39No, I thought you were accidentally...
- 5:41I thought it was autocorrected toil us.
- 5:44As in we're toiling for this party.
- 5:46Girl, what?
- 5:50We canceling the party No We can have it now Hey hey hey so then the toilet just won have ice Then people can use the toilet
- 5:58That's what they're expecting.
- 5:59This is a fancy party.
- 6:01They're expect...
- 6:02Well, look, what if we use...
- 6:04Just put the regular ice in the toilet.
- 6:06Oh, my God.
- 6:07Regular ice?
- 6:09They're gonna know.
- 6:10No one's gonna know, trust me.
- 6:12You really believe that?
- 6:13Because you know how important it is for me to be able to be a good hostess.
- 6:16No. Hey, you're the hostess with the mostess. I say that all the time. The charcuterie is great, by the way. I got really good meats and cheeses. The grapes were perfect.
- 6:24Oh, they are? Look at them.
- 6:26I know. See?
- 6:26If we put them in the freezer right now, they'll be the perfect—
- 6:28No.
- 6:29No.
- 6:31What?
- 6:31They're not going to be toilet grapes.
- 6:34You're right. I'm doing too much.
- 6:35You're doing too much.
- 6:36I'm doing too much.
- 6:37You're trying to overcorrect.
- 6:39Okay? Just trust, okay?
- 6:41Okay.
- 6:41We'll put the regular drinking ice inside the toilet.
- 6:46No one will know.
- 6:46I'll do it right now.
- 6:47You go in, pour yourself a glass of wine, and just be ready to greet guests.
- 6:53Okay, Tabitha?
- 6:54Yeah?
- 6:55You know, this is my first attempt at hosting a party.
- 6:57I know.
- 6:57It has to go well.
- 6:59Hey, Veronica, look at me.
- 7:01I'm looking.
- 7:02You're going to be great.
- 7:04Thank you.
- 7:04You're going to be great.
- 7:05Okay.
- 7:06All right, I'll go have a few grapes, get the circuitry set up.
- 7:09Thank you for doing this.
- 7:10Sure.
- 7:10Cut to an hour and 13 minutes later.
- 7:14Hey, it's a great party.
- 7:16It's pretty good.
- 7:18It's pretty good.
- 7:19Oh, hi.
- 7:23Veronica.
- 7:23Veronica's the best.
- 7:24She's the best.
- 7:24This is great.
- 7:25This is great.
- 7:26She's great.
- 7:26Oh, man.
- 7:27Full bladder.
- 7:29What?
- 7:32What's going on?
- 7:35Veronica.
- 7:35What?
- 7:36What is it?
- 7:37Veronica.
- 7:37What?
- 7:39I just peed.
- 7:40Yeah, I just peed.
- 7:42No, yes?
- 7:43That's good, right?
- 7:45No.
- 7:46Is party pee?
- 7:46No.
- 7:48It splashed every which way.
- 7:49No!
- 7:50It ruined, it ruined my grandfather's suede shoes that he lent me, that he gave to me in his will.
- 7:57Oh my god, I'm sure it, it, it, it.
- 7:59Look at them!
- 8:00I, I see!
- 8:01Look at them.
- 8:01It's like an inkblot down there.
- 8:03You can't get piss out of suede.
- 8:06Oh my god.
- 8:06These were the, he passed these down to me.
- 8:09These were the last thing.
- 8:10Yeah, he had left.
- 8:13What?
- 8:13It's the only thing I had to remember my grandfather about.
- 8:16It was just a freak accident.
- 8:17It could have happened anywhere.
- 8:18What kind of ice was in there?
- 8:21Toilet ice?
- 8:22That can't be.
- 8:24That can't be.
- 8:26Toilet ice would never do this to me.
- 8:28I'm sorry.
- 8:28I can't lie.
- 8:29I tried to get toilet ice.
- 8:31I tried.
- 8:31It's regular ice.
- 8:32I didn't think of...
- 8:33Oh, God.
- 8:34Oh, yeah.
- 8:34Is it regular ice?
- 8:36What?
- 8:36What?
- 8:36No, no, no, please.
- 8:37What?
- 8:37Please stay.
- 8:39I have desserts.
- 8:40No! Oh my god, the first people are leaving!
- 8:45I hope you choke to death on those apple hand pies that I saw in the kitchen After what you did to my feet and my pawpaw shoes
- 8:58I'm sorry.
- 8:59If you soak the rest of them, they'll all look the same.
- 9:04How dare you.
- 9:08Cut to a week later.
- 9:11Veronica?
- 9:12Hey.
- 9:13What?
- 9:14Hey, just checking in to see how you're doing.
- 9:17Not good, bitch.
- 9:19What?
- 9:21I just...
- 9:22Look, they're barely even talking about it anymore.
- 9:25I've been unfriended by every person I've ever met.
- 9:29You just...
- 9:30You need to give them a little time.
- 9:32I told you to get toilet ice.
- 9:35I didn't know it was a thing.
- 9:37I'm sorry.
- 9:37I sent you to the very specific party store.
- 9:40I know.
- 9:41I know.
- 9:42And hey, I got...
- 9:43I got those fun poppers that you wanted.
- 9:46That's not enough.
- 9:48But thanks.
- 9:49I will take them.
- 9:52Tabitha.
- 9:52No, no.
- 9:53What's that in your hand?
- 9:55What?
- 9:55Is that...
- 9:56Are those invitations going out?
- 9:57No.
- 9:59What?
- 9:59Give me that.
- 10:00No.
- 10:02Oh, my God.
- 10:03No.
- 10:04You were cordially invited to Tabitha's party?
- 10:07Yeah, well, uh, yes.
- 10:09You know, I...
- 10:11Oh, my God.
- 10:11It even says on here.
- 10:12and don't worry, the toilet ice incident of 2026 will not be repeated here.
- 10:19You're throwing me under the bus?
- 10:25I'm sorry, Veronica. It had to be done.
- 10:27What?
- 10:28That's right. That's right. See, what you didn't know is I moved here from another town.
- 10:35After my own embarrassing toilet ice party.
- 10:39I'm reinventing myself.
- 10:41And I had to do it via party.
- 10:44And I had to do it...
- 10:46I had to throw you under the bus.
- 10:48I had to show the world what a terrible, terrible party looked like.
- 10:51So my party would look amazing by comparison.
- 10:53You knew what toilet ice was.
- 10:55Oh, I know toilet ice.
- 10:59I know toilet ice.
- 11:01My grandfather is Rick Toilet Ice.
- 11:05We invented toilet ice
- 11:10You're a bad friend
- 11:12You hurt me
- 11:13All's fair in love and parties, bitch
- 11:18Girl, bye
- 11:20Cut to me later at home alone
- 11:23It's okay, I don't need friends
- 11:26I'll just eat some of this stuff that Peter left at my party
- 11:35Scene.