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Cutting the Spiritual Middleman · Curious Cat - where science & supernatural collide

• 0:00
  Jennifer Hotes: You are listening to Curious Cat, a podcast that examines the shadowy space where science and the supernatural collide. And I'm your host, Jennifer Hotes.
• 0:10
  Jennifer Hotes: Join me every week as I examine what it means to be a soul in a meatsuit Welcome to Curious Cat.
• 0:35
  Jennifer Hotes: Hello and welcome. Today's episode is the first puzzle piece in a conversation about endeavoring to become more spiritual. I'll share the missteps and obstacles in my journey so far in hopes you avoid the same potholes. This episode specifically will focus on cutting out the spiritual middleman, even if that middleman is the governor in your head. But let's begin at the beginning. Okay?
• 1:04
  Jennifer Hotes: If you found Curious Cat through my writings on Substack, then you might already be familiar with the following. So let me apologize at the outset for the repetition. For those of you that are new to my writings, my father Gary Riley passed away almost exactly a year ago today.
• 1:37
  Jennifer Hotes: In the weeks leading up to his death, he was hospitalized. It was during the time of COVID. My father was blind. He wasn't allowed an advocate in the hospital we weren't even allowed to visit him. My dad and I were extremely close. I mean, we texted every morning over coffee and every evening while watching Judge Judy. Because of that, when they placed him in the ambulance that would transport him four hours away from his beloved home to get adequate care, he shared his fear with me, his sheer terror. I've gone back and read those texts, him expressing raw fear at being helpless, blind, on his own.
• 3:02
  Jennifer Hotes: Weeks later, before he told the rest of the family, (he'd been there for about three weeks) he shared his truth with me that he wanted to recover just enough to come home and die on his own terms, surrounded by loved ones.
• 3:35
  Jennifer Hotes: So out of desperation, well, I'd say two parts desperation, one That was sacred space to me, and I'll forever feel honored that part curiosity, I started to dive into my spiritual self. As he trusted me and saw that I was strong enough to receive this.
• 3:46
  Jennifer Hotes: a way to cope. I listened to podcasts about tapping into the sixth sense. I started paying attention to my dreams in a more Our conversations would pivot to dark humor, which is the way formal way. My dream life has always been very rich. It's what brought me my first four books.
• 4:02
  Jennifer Hotes: But I started formalizing it. I Riley's deal with the worst life deals us. No matter how dark our made my first dream journal, I found a three ring binder, conversations began soon, Dad and I would be laughing in tossed to the side in the garage, and some old lined paper my kids had from when they were little. It was my dream life earnest. It was during one of those talks that he shared what that opened up me and prepared me for my father's death. I got to see glimpses of his transition from this life to the he wanted his post-life to look like, for his sake and to life after. I mean that's what I call it because there's more, protect the rest of my family. I bottled up my anxiety and much more after this iteration of us. One dream had a huge positive impact on me as he was passing. In real life as my sadness in that moment. I was like a spiritual Molotov father passed, I had this image of him in my head from the cocktail, because I knew eventually I would explode. And dream. That mental picture kept me going. In it, my family was accompanying my dad through an airport. He was his 40 year old that might mean doing damage to someone I loved.
• 5:04
  Jennifer Hotes: self, his Robert Redford, self.
• 5:04
  Jennifer Hotes: We walked with him through the That dream, the little glimpse, got me through the subsequent terminal. When we reached the gate that led to his airplane, he said "I have to do this part by myself." He turned back and I three weeks. He'd been in the hospital for about three weeks, said, Hey, Dad, do you have everything? And he, he kind of three and a half weeks actually, now that I think about it. My patted the front of his jeans, and he said, "I've got everything I need in the pocket of my jeans." His blue eyes younger siblings, and my mother worked really hard to get my sparkled, and he left for the airplane. So that image of him father the ending he wanted. We met with a palliative team. We, being healthy, able bodied seeing, again, it comforted me, because I knew that when he died his pain was going to end and he the majority of us were over a conference call. But my brother would be in that body again, his able bodied self, he'd be free and sister were able to attend in real life. In fact, it was of the meat suit that had worn out.
• 5:59
  Jennifer Hotes: On the night before his passing, my eldest and I had traveled to the first access we'd had to the hospital. And they were with my father and the palliative team physically, when he was able to the Mendocino coast to say goodbye as well. But we were not say, "I want to come home. I just want to come home." Two days later, the EMTs accompanied him on that four hour road trip staying at the house, we were staying at a little inn down the back to Fort Bragg. Once inside, they shook his hand and said road. We had tandem dreams that night before he died. They were it's been an honor to know him.
• 6:40
  Jennifer Hotes: That's the kind of person he was, making friends right up to the end. In the days that visitations from Gary Riley, as he was preparing for what was followed, a steady stream of close family came to visit.
• 7:02
  Jennifer Hotes: A few days later, my family scattered back to our respective next, while also mourning what he was leaving behind. I'm not comfortable sharing this part of the story on my own, and one day homes. I returned to Seattle and spiraled into this deep if Nora is open to it, maybe they'd come on the podcast, and we could share that part of our story together. But for now know depression. I didn't want to be here anymore. It was a pain no that we were there when he died, we were able to be with him.
• 8:01
  Jennifer Hotes: one could solve so I turned again to the spiritual. If I could stretch the limits of my soul, would I catch a glimpse of Dad's new zip code? If that was the case, maybe it'd be okay to keep living. So that's how my spiritual journey saved my life.
• 8:19
  Jennifer Hotes: Soon though, as I dug into the subject, I kept hearing this critical voice asking if this book was godly? Was this knowledge dark magic? The exclamations came from this Bible study teacher embedded in my head. On and on she went, dark light, good, evil, sanctioned damned, heaven, hell.
• 8:44
  Jennifer Hotes: Growing up, I'd been conditioned to believe there was no room for gray. And that dear one is how I was introduced to the spiritual middleman in my head.
• 8:52
  Jennifer Hotes: I had to evict him in order to take my power back. If you're a gamer, it was a boss battle, a knock down drag out fight, but I made it and nothing would bring me more joy if I can embolden you to do the same thing if you endeavor to.
• 9:07
  Jennifer Hotes: So what is the spiritual middleman? For the purposes of this conversation it's any guru, priest, channeler, healer, teacher, Shaman, podcaster, or religious leader that believes they have higher power, more worth or greater status than those they teach or lead. A spiritual middleman can be identified when dependency is encouraged. Like you have to subscribe to something or come each week to a meeting or class or session, that type of thing.
• 9:39
  Jennifer Hotes: Conversely, independence is discouraged. And it's often berated or defined as blasphemy.
• 9:48
  Jennifer Hotes: There's no studying on your own or interpreting religious texts for yourself. There's this expectation that you must bow down to their authority. They may even be invested in keeping you spiritually asleep, it may be subconscious on their part, or it's their antiquated traditions that don't support spiritual awakening. Regardless, any of this is dysfunctional, and the dynamic suppresses your spiritual awakening. Their standards of worth are literally blocking you from progress.
• 10:23
  Jennifer Hotes: This feels like a good time to share with you what you need to do to actually wake up spiritually. I found an article about it on wakeup world website, which I have quoted in the show notes, you'll find the link there. They say 1) You need to know your unconditional worth. 2) You need to own your intrinsic power. 3) You need a direct connection to God or source. I was conditioned to believe I wasn't worthy of going directly to source, that my voice alone wasn't enough to be heard. It's one of these recurring themes of Jesus's time as a human. If you've studied that, he wanted to empower us to seek a direct relationship with God.
• 11:07
  Jennifer Hotes: Others take this further. Author Roberta Grimes explored what she believes was Jesus's attempt to abolish organized religion. In her article titled, No Middleman. Jesus quotes what Isaiah said 800 years prior, when he expressed that God is disgusted, and not charmed by all of our human made religious practices. Jesus said in Luke 1152, quote, Woe to ye religious leaders, for you have taken away the key of knowledge, you yourselves did not enter and you hindered those who were entering. She goes on to ask and I thought it was kind of funny, but cute. Who can forget the moment when Jesus altogether lost it? Her quote is, from Luke 1945 to 48, Jesus entered the temple and began to drive out those who are selling, saying to them, it has written, and My house shall be a house of prayer, but you have made it a robber's den. In Matthew 6, five through six, Jesus encouraged worshippers to avoid praying in religious assemblies, and instead, seek privacy and pray to God on our own. The link to Grimes' article is in the show notes. I hope you take time to read through the comments as well. They're really interesting. One man explained what occurred to him after he joined the church, saying, "Very quickly, the religious organization became the god." If you're uncomfortable with the thesis that Jesus endeavored to burn down organized religion.
• 12:40
  Jennifer Hotes: Yeah, I feel you. I think that's a stretch. But Jesus was clear, repeating over and over that we have a direct connection to God.
• 12:49
  Jennifer Hotes: We do not need a spiritual intermediary. And this gave me comfort, it's emboldened me to claim my direct line to source.
• 13:00
  Jennifer Hotes: So when did spiritual mere middleman become a thing?
• 13:04
  Jennifer Hotes: Probably the moment a group of people gathered to worship and someone professed themselves to be the leader, then realized they could make money. In that vein, I dug down and did a ton of research and found an anecdote that seems relevant about the Gutenberg Bible. In 500AD, scriptures were translated into multiple languages. And then 100 years later, the Roman Catholic Church declared Latin as the only approved language for scripture, the language that priests were able to read and translate, Latin. Curiously, their flock did not know Latin. In 1229 AD, the Council of Toulouse strictly prohibited anybody that wasn't working with the church, lay people I guess, from owning Bibles. And then 150 years later, John Whitecliff, believing people should be permitted to read the Bible in their own language and in defiance of the church, translated and produced the first handwritten manuscripts of the entire Bible in English. But the church was mad about it! 31 years after his death, Whitecliff's death, the Council charged him with more than 260 counts of hearsay. Church officials dug up his bones, burned them and scattered his ashes on the Swift River. Then, in 1455, a German named Johann Gutenberg invented the printing press. He produced the first printed Bible, the Gutenberg Bible, which was in Latin. In 1525, William Tyndale produced the first translation of the New Testament from Greek into English, and this was a big deal. He was later condemned as a heretic da you know, this is a theme right? He was strangled and burned at the stake for translating the New Testament from Greek into English. They say you can tell someone's weakness by their response, the Achilles heel, right? The church showed they believe their power came from being the sole authority to disseminate and interpret the Scripture. In other words, spiritual middlemen. The printing press, and subsequent translations into accessible languages made the necessity of the church as interpreter null and void.
• 15:34
  Jennifer Hotes: Alright, I thought that was pretty interesting. That whole chunk was new to me. I hadn't realized people had been burned at the stake for translating the Bible. Returning to our discussion about spiritual middlemen, they're bad, right?
• 15:51
  Jennifer Hotes: But a healthy relationship with a spiritual guide or teacher is really good.
• 15:55
  Jennifer Hotes: But what does that relationship look like? It's worth defining what healthy means. A good spiritual teacher discourages It's important to have peace of mind as you set off on your journey. That's what I've found.
• 16:35
  Jennifer Hotes: As you endeavor to dive into learning about all things spiritual, question everything.
• 16:43
  Jennifer Hotes: And if something doesn't feel right, it's not. Ask yourself if hierarchy. Instead, they will direct you inward, to find and you've traded one set of beliefs for another. Are you dependent on a spiritual middleman? Does someone or something have power over me? Do I feel less worthy than my spiritual teacher or mentor? Do we rely on a spiritual middleman for guidance, prayer, security, or spiritual connection? If the answers are, yes, fire that middleman.
• 17:08
  Jennifer Hotes: claim your own power and worth.
• 17:08
  Jennifer Hotes: An awakened teacher will meet Learning all of the above, seeing the invasive ivy in my pursuit, and tugging myself free, I had to address why I didn't feel empowered to go directly to God or the Universe!? omehow I'd grown up believing I had, it was a bribe system, I had to bribe my way to gain access to the big guy; do good deeds, only then maybe I'd be worthy of God's attention.
• 17:33
  Jennifer Hotes: you on equal footing no matter where you are in your journey! Maybe then He would answer my prayers. I was stuck in this toxic loop. But then the most amazing thing happen. The word grace kept showing up; GRACE on car vanity plates, song titles, ads, name tags. It was crazy.
• 17:51
  Jennifer Hotes: The universe was shouting at me.
• 17:55
  Jennifer Hotes: And when I recognized it, I did a web search. Grace is God's You can be Day One and they will treat you the same way as if unconditional love.
• 18:00
  Jennifer Hotes: Unconditional! As in, given freely, without any expectations. We are all given the gift of grace unconditionally. The final step that I needed happened during meditation. My cell phone died mid-session, I grabbed the charger cord, plugged it into my phone and realize oh my god, that's it. A phone charger you're on Day 5000. In this relationship, both of you are doesn't judge me because I need it and then use it. It didn't secretly expect special access to the best outlets in my house because I used it to charge my phone. So why would God or source be any different? When I need to tap into the collective love or energy I should plug in.
• 18:43
  Jennifer Hotes: And thanks to that epiphany I no honored and respected. And neither of you is asked to give longer see asking or needing God or source as an emotional condition-based exchange. That old way of thinking is unhealthy. Hand in hand with that AHA! moment was the understanding that God or source has no idea they're needed unless we do plug in. Just like the phone charger doesn't know your phone's battery is low. It just is there to be a conduit away your power. It's a red flag if you are.
• 19:15
  Jennifer Hotes: between that and the energy that's always kind of flowing, right? Same thing with the collective love source God whatever you want to call it, it's just waiting to be tapped into. God's ears are always available to us, all the damn time.
• 19:29
  Jennifer Hotes: So the final obstacle I faced was questioning my connection to God was I really hearing him this knowledge, this book, this message, this information, this passage. 50 years of living in a culture that is obsessed with its to dual archetypes, I'd been led to certain places then heard that Dana Carvey church lady AGAIN in my head asking if my resources were godly or a fast track to hell. The breakthrough in this area also came through meditation. I was deep into a chakra aligning meditation. In it, we were climbing up above the body to cleanse and energize. And all of a sudden, I was filled with this warm white light. In my mind, I was no longer my body I had been absorbed into everything. The plants, the dirt, other people, the stars, it was universal love. I was connected to all to source to God, whatever words you want to call it, those are all semantics. What matters is that connection to the divine, us to everything else. It is real. The first time I reached that place, I was euphoric. It brought back memories of a time long ago when I was practicing over and over on the balance beam, a back walkover, I did it 1000s of attempts. And then finally when I landed, I couldn't even believe I done it.
• 21:11
  Jennifer Hotes: I actually had an absorb that I did do it both feet on the beam.
• 21:16
  Jennifer Hotes: My body felt electrified. I'd done it. I was exhilarated.
• 21:21
  Jennifer Hotes: Well, that's what it felt like plugging into the collective, it is exhilarating. Then, out the windows, there was a rumble of thunder. And then a crackle. And then a downpour. I was thinking about the people that are in that moment, trying to stay warm and dry because they live on the streets in Seattle. And then tears started falling down my face. I cried for them. And I didn't understand how I could feel so exhilarated and then so sad in the same breath. But that's the thing, to be part of the all. You feel all. You can't avert your gaze. It hurts. And it soothes all at once.
• 22:15
  Jennifer Hotes: I promise it was worth the trouble of extracting the spiritual middleman. But now I'm keenly aware that it's my job to stay connected to spirit. I'm pulled away from that pursuit a lot to take care of two dimensional stuff like pets, paying bills, work. But I remember more often to connect my soul charger to source. And when I doubt I asked my angel guides, am I on the right path?
• 22:42
  Jennifer Hotes: Or what do you need me to know right now? And they don't respond instantly. But it usually comes later. Loud and clear.
• 22:54
  Jennifer Hotes: Okay, so last weekend is a perfect example of that. I felt called to follow through on something I wanted to make for an author friend of mine. It was a lazy Sunday, like a rare day when we had nothing on the calendar. I told my husband I had to go to Snoqualmie He took our dog with him to work so I was free to run my errands not worry about what would happen at home without me for a couple hours. I found what I needed at a rock and mineral shop. Except I wanted a box like I pictured it being old, worn interesting.
• 23:26
  Jennifer Hotes: And I remember this like shop that has a little bit of everything. Just few miles down the road. I drove there and looked around I like circled the store twice. And the shopkeeper asked why? What I was looking for and I told her and she goes I don't think we have anything like that. And as she was racking your brain my intuition kept whispering it's here the box is here. The box keeper she rubbed her chin and I approached the desk to just kind of look a little bit more closely at what was underneath the register. And that was the moment I saw the box. It was perfect. It was like the one I'd imagined. I handed it to her and she said, "Where the hell did that thing come from?" She turned it upside down to read the price tag and there wasn't one. She had no idea when it came into the store. She owns the store and she had no idea.
• 24:20
  Jennifer Hotes: So we laughed and she made up a price. And as I left the shop there on the sidewalk were two of my dear friends who, like me, were far away from home. None of us could believe it. It was all God driven. So once home I arranged the gift, wrote a note, packaged it up. I drove it down the way to the post office. On the drive, I listened to my 80s playlist on Spotify.
• 24:55
  Jennifer Hotes: Foreigner's, Waiting for a Girl Like You, played and I sang along at the top of my lungs. I pulled into a parking space and entered the shop. As I gave the package to the cashier, the opening strains of Waiting for a Girl Lke You played on the overhead speakers. "Now you're just showing off!" I said to the Universe. The entire event had been a lovely affirmation and a testament. When I bother to stay plugged in, my days go smoother, the tough spots tend to work themselves out. I feel charmed and grateful and tingly with love. It's like in that Harry Potter movie, if you've seen it.
• 25:36
  Jennifer Hotes: The Felix Felicis potion? It's like that.
• 25:53
  Jennifer Hotes: I'd love to know if you are on a spiritual journey. Are you just starting out? Have you been going after it for a while? Are you not interested in the slightest and someone forced you to listen to my podcast? Sorry, if that's the case. I'd like to hear about it. Hit me in the comments.
• 26:14
  Jennifer Hotes: Next week marks the one year anniversary of my father's passing. It's as good a time as any to share that story with you and how to helped me overcome the second obstacle in my spiritual journey, overcoming the fear of death. So much of our lives are fear based. I've found since breaking that cycle I have a lot more energy, and I'd love to share that gift with you.
• 26:42
  Jennifer Hotes: Thank you for listening to Curious Cat. If you like the content, stories and information. I'd be grateful if you could like and review us on your favorite streaming service.
• 26:53
  Jennifer Hotes: It would help others find us as well. Huge gratitude for my art director and audio engineer. If you're in the need of those services, please find their links in the show notes. Also, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Join the conversation on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Until next time, be well. I love you