Latest / Motivation Mindset Podcast / Fear of Failure? – Turn It into Your Fuel.

Transcript

Fear of Failure? – Turn It into Your Fuel. · Motivation Mindset Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Because I think the greatest fear that we face is ourselves. Actually,
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: you know, I think it's it's not anything that's external
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: or anything that's superficial. I think the greatest fear you
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: face is yourself, because you know, we all have dreams,
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: and it's very scary sometimes to accept the dream that
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: you have, and it's scarier still to say, okay, I
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: want that. It's scary because you're afraid that if you
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: put your heart and soul into it and you fail,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: then how are you going to feel about yourself?
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: Covie, you won the MVP, you led the team to
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: the finals.
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: How do you characterize this season?
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean the goal is to win a championship.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: It wasn't to win MVP or anything like that, to
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: win a championship.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: So from that aspect we fail. If I'm going to
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: go down, I'm going to go down my way.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: So being fearless means putting yourself out there and going
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: for it no matter what. Go for it, not for
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: anybody else, but for yourself.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: I take you to the scene, twenty seconds left to go,
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: you're down by one, You want the ball, you wanna
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: take the last shot.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, I'm not afraid to fail and I.
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: I just love it.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: It's it's just an adenuine rush. Everybody in the crowd
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: stands up and everybody's waiting to see if you're gonna
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: make the shot, if you're gonna lose the game, where
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: you're gonna win the game.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: It's it's it's an unbelievable rush. If he swings big
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: and this is big. Same thing with me. I have
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: no fear. What's the weever?
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: Because I know that sometimes you look back at the
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: defender to watch their expression.
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: What's that like? Yeah, it's uh, you know you you
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: get to feel.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: With the defenders and it's like, oh man, no, I
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: just can't not not tonight, you know.
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: And I thrive off that. You love that, don't you?
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you love that? Like defeated look Yoh absolutely.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: I used to ask him, what's it like to guard Mike? Mike,
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: I mean black Jesus, Like, what the fruit? So the
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: level of fear that he inspired in the others was insane,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: and you know, the hype of going in begins Mike.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: It was Okay, let's go show me like I've been
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: watching you playing my whole life, show me.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: I want to see this. Everybody calling you black Jesus
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: and all this other You have to show me.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Man, And I would tell him, I said, when I
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: face him, We're gonna go at it. It's all you
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: don't want to do that. I'm like, what, man, you
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: don't know me. Man.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: Michael's a great basketball player, but I'm Kobe Bryant.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: I went out there and we went head up, and
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: I think his respect and appreciation for me really grew
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: that day because you saw on the biggest stage. I
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: didn't shy away from that confrontation. I look forward to
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: that confrontation. And you know, when I was eighteen, my
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: first year, he got the best of me a bunch
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: of times.
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: I was right there the next play. You're not intimidating me.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: I'm not going anywhere.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: And I think he saw that level of respect because
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: I think he was the same way at eighteen years old.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: And that common bond is what I think where our
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: connection was built. Who beat you one on one? If
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: whatever happened, all right? You once said, if you see
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: me in the fight with the bear, pray for the bear.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: Is that still gonna be true when you come back?
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, bears having a hard time. I'm beating the bear
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: pretty good, right now? That matter cool playing you for sure.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: It's not really a thing, you know, like you think
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: about game winning shots and or game winning free throws
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: when people go to the free throwing and they're nervous
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: about it, Well, what are you really nervous about?
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: If you unpack that?
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Okay, you're nervous that you're going to miss the shot,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: all right, So you missed the shot, then what happens?
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: People are going to be embarrassed. You're going to be
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: embarrassed because thousands of people, millions people say you missed
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: a shot, all right, and then what people want to
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: talk bad about you?
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: Right?
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: And so you're looking at it, are those things even important?
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean? If that that is my fear?
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: Like what is you worried about letting your teammates down? Okay?
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: Have you let them down before?
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: I'm sure? And practice and things of that nature, right,
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: they're still there? Yeah, you know. And so when you're
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: able to unpack it, you kind of look at it
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: for what it is.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: But you do, how did you become one of those
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: people who doesn't seem to be afraid of failing?
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: It doesn't make sience it's not existent. But what does
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: that mean? Seriously, what does failure mean? It's not it
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: doesn't it doesn't exist. It's a figment of your imagination.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: Let's let's use happy in this, right, and then we
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: can relate this to failure.
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: Why it's not existent? Like everybody talks about it, like
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: everybody wants a happier again. Right now, let's go to
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: your reality. Right, just look at a fairy tail store.
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: It's like at snow White.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: She gets a happy ending and she finds prints or whatever,
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: she goes along she lives happily. Ever after, Well, I
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: call bullshit on that because two months later, the fact
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: is they had an argument and he's sleeping on the couch.
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: So the point this, the point is the story continues.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: The story continues.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: So if you fail on Monday, the only way it's
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: a failure on Monday is if you decide to not
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: progress from that.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: So that so, to me, that's why failure is not existing,
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: because you know, if I fail today, Okay, I'm gonna
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: learn something from that failure and I'm gonna try again
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: on Tuesday, and I feel I'm gonna try get one
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: from this. Injury was mount Everest for me personally, because
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: I knew what the long road was going to be.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: So you know, at that point you have to make
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: a decision. You have to make a choice. It's really hard, man,
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: because it's such a tedious process. And what I found
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: helpful is to not look at the top of the
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: mountain because the mountain is so damned aalting, you know.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: It's like right, so like if you're saying, Okay, I'm
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: gonna climb Mount Everest, you're at the bottom of the
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: mountain and you look up and you're going, I'm not
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: gonna go Mount evere right, But if you break it
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: down into sections, you just one foot in front of
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: the other, one step at the time. So instead I
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: just choose to focus on one step at a time
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: and then when by the time you realize you at
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: the top of the mountain again. And that's how I
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: handled all my recoveries, to just focus on the next thing,
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: Focus on the next thing, focus on the next thing.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: And also, you know how time flies. Time goes by
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: really fast. So like when you're sitting here in the
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: moment dealing with the injury, that's a nine month injury,
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: I can't do it but when twelve months go by,
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: you don't wish she did, because it goes by like that,
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So that's always been my approach.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: It's just one step at a time, one step at
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: the time, it is, And I didn't want the injuries
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: dictating when out the time. I wanted to control that.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: It's like, no, my body, sit down, be humble. You're
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: not telling me when I'm walking away. I'm going to
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: tell you when I'm ready to go. Well, I mean,
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: it's one of those moments. And I think we all
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: have moments like this in life where it just seems
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: like that day is never going to end. You know.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: It just seems like the moment that your rain just
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: feels like the darkest moment to you. You know, you
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: personally feel like, I don't know if I can do
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: this again. I don't know if I can come back,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: you know, And you have to issue that challenge to
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: yourself and try to respond to that.
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: Well. I want to start off by reading something that
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: you wrote right after you're injured. He went on Facebook
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: and you posted a lengthy blog.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: You know what this is?
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, he said, this is such bs.
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: All the training and sacrifice, just flew out the window
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: with one step that I've done millions of times. The
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: frustration is unbearable, anger is raged. Why the hell did
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: this happen? Makes no damn sense. Now I'm supposed to
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: come back from this and be the same player or
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: better at thirty five. How in the world am I
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: supposed to do that?
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: I have no clue.
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: Do I have the consistent will to overcome this thing?
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: Maybe I should break out the rocking chair and reminisce
• 7:49
  Speaker 4: on the career that was. Maybe this is how my
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: book ends. Maybe father time has defeated me. Then again,
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: maybe not. It's three thirty am. My foot feels like
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: dead weight, my head is spinning from the pain meds,
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: and I'm wide awake. Forgive my vetting, but what's the
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: purpose of social media.
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: If I won't bring it to you real, no image.
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: It feels good to vent, to let it out, to
• 8:12
  Speaker 4: feel as if this is the worst thing ever, because
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: after all the venting, the real perspective sets in. There
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: are far greater issues and challenges in the world than
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: a torn Achilles. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, find the
• 8:23
  Speaker 4: silver lining, and get to work with the same belief,
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: same drive and the same conviction as ever one day
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: at the beginning of a new career journey, what commence
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: today is not that day. If you see me in
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: a fight with a bear, pray for the bear.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: I've always loved that quote.
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: That's Mamba mentality. We don't quit, we don't cower, we
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: don't run, We endure and conquer.
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: My brain cannot, it cannot process failure. It will not
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: process failure.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: Because if I have to, if I sit there and
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: have to face myself and tell myself, you know you're
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: you're You're a failure, I think that's that's a worse
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: that's almost worse than death.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: Why and again going to work falls down. Yeah, he's struggling.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: As soon as I made to move, I knew it.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: I mean, that's the Achilles. I mean, I mean I
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: shouldn't say that's good.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: I put it in Jim. I remember feeling the silence.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: I remember feeling the fear. Thirty five years old, seventeen
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: eighteen years in the league. This could be a rap
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: and that's what the silence was. It was like, this
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: could really be it. It was hard man, because the
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: Achilles injury is the worst injury for an athlete.
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: It's like the worst. It's like the kiss of death.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: And when I.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: Ruptured my achilles, I knew what happened. I knew the
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: severity of the injury, and I didn't know if I
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: was going to come back on it.
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, in the locker room, you're crying. Yeah, I didn't
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: think this is it, like my career could be oldway.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: Were the most terrifying dreams for me. It was a
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: dream of me being on a basketball court. Stadium's full,
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: I'm attacking the basket and I can't get off the ground.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: I can't jump, like I'm stuck, like I'm cemented to
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: the floor. I was conscious of the fact that I
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: was dreaming. So now I'm trying to control my dream.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: You can jump through it, you can push through it,
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: you can get to that basket. And no matter how
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: hard I tried my legs with too heavy, can't jump.
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: Telling you you don't play defense any better than Morgan
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: Patterson did.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: This crowd is in cole shock. Yes I'm talking out
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: and I'm talking about teammates. I said, give me and we're.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: Going home with a w What I try to do
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: is just try to be still and understand that Things
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: come and go, Emotions come and go. The important thing
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: is to accept them all, to embrace them all, and
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: then you can choose to do with them what you want,
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: versus being controlled by emotion.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: You know, a lot of times I've seen.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: Players, even myself, you know, when I was younger, being
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: consumed by a particular fear and to the point where
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: you're saying, okay, nah, it's it's not good to feel fear.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: Shouldn't be nervous in the situation, right, it does nothing
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: but grow, versus stepping back and saying, yeah, I am
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: nervous about the situation.
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I am fearful about the situation. But what am
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: I afraid of?
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: And then you kind of unpack it, and then it
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: gives you a bilability to look at it for really
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: what it is, which is nothing more than your imagination
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: running its course. You know, you'll have the pressure on
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: yourself to play, you know, to capitulate to that fear.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: If you play with the sense of I want to win,
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: I want to win, and you have the fear of
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: what happens if you don't.
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: But if you find common ground in the middle, in
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: the center, then it doesn't matter.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: You're unphased by either right, and that enables you to
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: really just stay in a moment, stay connected to it,
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: and not feel anything other than what's in front of you.
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: So and I try to just be dead center.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: When we lost to in the finance to the Celtics
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: two thousand and eight, that was a turning point. So
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: when I sat there in the hotel room afterwards, I
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: started thinking about that because it's on me. If I
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: didn't feel like my teammates were aggressive enough, that falls
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: on me, and I had to understand what their journey
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: was as how are they feeling as people?
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: What are they going through? For me, it is that
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: ferocity or that anger rage. I carry that with me now.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: You can't know how the line still is to the
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: rest of my guys, to the rest of my teens,
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: using the darker emotions anger or resentment or frustration and.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: Sadness, and using that as a weapon, using that as
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: as a form of offers.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: That's some people are probably afraid to tap into that
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: side of them, but it's such a powerful thing. Once
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: they own it themselves, then the sky is the limit
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: because they're going to drive themselves and pull it from
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: who they are and all of their life.
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: Experiences and things that have motivated most. Trust with the
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: rest of the script and just start driving, needling right, pushing.
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: What are you still waiting for a big smile out
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: of you? You're up too old? What's the story? Are
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: you not happy or you're only half happier instead of
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: be happier about me? You're up too old. Job's not finished,
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: Job finished, I don't think so.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: After we think that we have a bond now that
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: unites us forever, forever.
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: You have a bond that I'll never be broken, because yeah,
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: lion looked us in the face, and we looked back