Latest / Jessi Morgan Devotions for the Christian Heart Podcast / Why Spiritual Growth Is Uncomfortable: How God Transforms You

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Why Spiritual Growth Is Uncomfortable: How God Transforms You · Jessi Morgan Devotions for the Christian Heart Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, hello.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: You're listening to the Jesse Morgan Devotions for the Christian Heart Podcast, episode 108.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: This week's devotional is titled Transformation Isn't Comfortable.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Excited to be back.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, I'm Jesse Morgan.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: I used to just share home decor and renovation tips on social media, but now I'm sharing something even closer to my heart.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: My journey in love for Jesus Christ, my Savior.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Jesse Morgan Devotions for the Christian Hawk Podcast.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: This is a weekly devotional I started back in May 2024, but the inspiration for it came much earlier.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: It was rooted in a faith journey that began when my daughter was born four months early in 2023.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Through that challenging time, God worked in ways that truly amazed me.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: On this podcast, I share personal stories of faith woven together with Scripture to show just how incredible God's word can be in our everyday lives.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: My hope is that through these stories, you'll be encouraged, uplifted, and reminded of God's love and presence, no matter what you're going through.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I invite you to spend less than 15 minutes with me each week as we reflect on these devotionals together.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Let's all pray within.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Today I just wanted to share my heart and um really you know wrote this out and wanted to share and just really let's get into it.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um as I entered the month of May, I truly felt of May 2026, I truly felt that um the Lord um was telling me that May would be a month of transformation.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: I sensed change was coming, I sensed God was moving.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: What I didn't realize was that transformation would be uncomfortable.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: And if I'm being honest, May was one of the most challenging months I've had in a while.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: At the beginning of this of the g at the beginning of the month, um, we were dealing with a major misunderstanding with the IRS.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: If you've ever had to deal with the IRS, you know how stressful that can be.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like owing anyone anything, and trying to work through the process with accountants, paperwork, and waiting for answers was exhausting mentally and emotionally.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: At the same time, my company went through that I work for, went through a major restructuring.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: This wasn't a small organizational adjustment.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: It affected my role, my team, my projects, and honestly, my sense of stability.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: For about a week and a half, many of us were in limbo.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: We didn't know where we would land, we didn't know what our future would look like, we didn't know if we were even going to have jobs.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: I found out that I would be moved from the team I had been on into a completely different area.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: To this day, we're still waiting for clarity about exactly what that new structure will look like.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: What made it especially difficult was that I loved the team I was on.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: I loved my coworkers.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: I had finally built momentum.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: For the first time in a long time, I was working on programs and initiatives that I was truly passionate about.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like I was finally gaining traction.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like I was building a portfolio of work that could potentially position me for promotion someday.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then overnight, it was just gone.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Projects I had spent months developing were taken away.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Programs I was preparing to launch were reassigned.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Things I had vested my heart into simply just stopped.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: It felt like a loss.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: And if I'm being really honest, I grieved it.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: I really did.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Ironically, the one program that they left me with was community service.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: And if I'm being completely transparent, that was never my favorite part of my role.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yet it was what I've been asked to lead.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm embracing it and trusting that God has a purpose in that as well.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: At the same time, I was asked to lead a massive global event at work that impacted multiple offices across the world.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Originally, we had prepared months earlier, months earlier for this, but due to restructuring, everything stalled.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: Then suddenly in the middle of May, I was told the event was moving forward and needed to happen during the first week of June.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: That left only a couple of weeks to pull together something that normally would have taken a few months to prepare.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: It was stressful, it was chaotic.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: There were definitely moments I wished we had more time.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: But by God's grace, we got it done.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: And while all this was happening professionally, there was another battle that was taking place in my heart as a mom.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Many of you know my daughter was born at 23 weeks.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: She weighed under two pounds.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: She is a miracle.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: She has overcome obstacles that most people would never fully understand.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Throughout May, um, we had assessments after assessment, evaluations at school, evaluations through therapy, where she was cognitively, all that type of stuff, conversations about development.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: And while there were encouragement, encouraging moments, there were also difficult things to hear.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: And as a parent, especially a parent of a micropriming, you desperately want your child to thrive.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: You want every opportunity available, you want every support system possible.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: I truly believed May would be a breakthrough month for Sage.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: I thought this would be a month where speech would suddenly click.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: I thought this would be the month where some things we'd been waiting for would finally happen.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: And while she made progress, it wasn't exactly what I expected.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: At the same time, I'd been fighting for months to get behavioral support services for Sage in her classroom.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: I gathered referrals, I spoke with specialists, I worked with her neurologist, I worked with her neurosurgeon, I submitted paperwork, I contracted insurance, I did everything I could think of.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: And after all that effort, I was told she didn't qualify.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: The reason she didn't qualify wasn't because she doesn't have challenges, it wasn't because she doesn't have development delays for being born at 23 weeks.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: The reason she didn't qualify was because she is not autistic.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: And before I go any further, let me say this.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Thank God she is not autistic.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: I incredibly I am incredibly grateful for that blessing.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: But as a parent, it's still heartbreaking to hear that she didn't qualify for any type of support like that.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Many of the behavioral therapy services available through insurance are tied specifically to autism diagnosis, especially since 2020.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: So here I am with the child who automatically qualifies for disability because of her extreme prematurity, a child who has went who has worked through challenges most people cannot imagine, and yet she still didn't qualify for the support.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: I believe that I believe that could really help her.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that was hard.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: I remember thinking, so what am I supposed to do?
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Wait until things get worse?
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Wait until she struggles more.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't, I wasn't for, you know, the label or anything.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't trying to force a diagnosis.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: I was not trying to ask my doctor to throw in their autism.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: No.
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  SPEAKER_00: I was simply trying to find every possible support that could help my child succeed.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: And when that doctor closed, and when that door closed, I was heartbroken.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: I also couldn't help but think about how little support exists specifically for micropremes.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: These children often face developmental hurdles, sensory challenges, attention challenges, and neurological challenges because of how early they entered the world.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yet there aren't many programs designed specifically for them.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing really prepares you for that journey.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: So not really, nothing really prepares you for, you know, hearing that your child has needs, but not the right needs, to qualify for certain services.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: That realization really hurt deeply.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I spent months fighting for this, months researching, months advocating, months trying to push the process forward.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then one day, recently, um, I was driving with Sage in the car in the backseat.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: I just picked her up from school.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: She was happy, she was healthy, she was comfortable, she was smiling, and I felt the Lord gently speak to my heart.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: But and he clearly said to me, Jess, why do you keep why don't you give me the opportunity to heal her?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I immediately started crying.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Not because I don't trust God, but because I hadn't been because but not because I haven't been praying, but because I realized I had been c carrying a burden that belonged to him.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: I had been trying to manage every outcome, I've been trying to speed up every milestone, I've been trying to push every door open, I've been trying to make progress happen on my timeline.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: And God lovingly reminded me that he loves Sage even more than I do.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: And he sees her and he knows her and he and he created her, and he has a plan for her.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: And one of my greatest struggles has always been patience.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: I like movement, I like action, I like solutions.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: The faith often requires waiting.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Faith requires trusting God when there isn't a visible answer.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: Faith requires believing He is working even when we can't see it.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: And as I reflect on May, I realize something important.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Transformation isn't always exciting.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Transformation feels like a loss sometimes.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it also can feel like a lot of uncertainty.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes transformation feels like disappointment.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: It feels like it's just you're just waiting.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: But that doesn't mean God isn't moving.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, he may be moving more than we realize.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: As I look back, I see blessings hidden throughout that month of May.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Sage is making progress.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Her tension span is improving.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: She's identifying colors, she understands language, not speech, but language.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: She's following a little bit more of commands, she's learning, she's growing, she's developing.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe not at my timeline, but she is progressing.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: I also realized something beautiful about her school placement.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because Sage's birthday is five days after the school cut off, she'll enter 2K as one of the older children in her class in August.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: For a long time, I worried about her feeling behind.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, her feeling, you know, behind.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then suddenly it hit me.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: God already knew this.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: He already had that detailed worked out because um, so I didn't have to worry about it.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: She won't be entering the classroom because she's delayed.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: She'll be entering the classroom because of her birthday.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I believe that may end up being one of the greatest gifts God gave her.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: Another unexpected blessing came through my neighbor across the street.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: I found out that he is the president of a massive men's lodge here in the state of Florida.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: And he reached out to me about a program that helps children receive speech and physical therapy services through their organization.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: He encouraged me to apply because he just thinks Sage is the sweetest little girl.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: And what was so amazing about that is Sage should actually be receiving more therapy than she currently is getting.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because a scheduling limitation, limitation, limitations, she isn't receiving as many um sessions as originally recommended.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: So while one door closed, another door may be opening.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: And isn't that isn't that often how God works, you know?
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we spend so much time trying to force one path that we miss the path that he's quietly creating for another.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Even when our home insurance situation and the and the flood damage we dealt with back in January Pashir, we're now working with an attorney to pursue options we didn't previously knew existed.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Another unexpected door.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: And as I look back, I can see that Satan wanted me focused on everything that wasn't working, everything that wasn't happening, everything that wasn't moving fast enough.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: But God kept reminding me to look at the blessings.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: And there were blessings everywhere.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: I gained new leader, I gained a new leader or a new boss at my at my job now, who's already shown incredible care and support and strong leadership.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: My daughter is progressing, like I said.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, new therapy opportunities are opening up.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: My family is now healthy.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Again, we've been sick for weeks and we're we're getting there.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: God is still providing, God is still moving, God is still faithful.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe you're listening today because you're in your own season of um transformation.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're facing uncertainty at work, maybe you're working you're waiting for healing, maybe you're praying for your child, maybe you're dealing with financial stress, maybe you're wondering why God hasn't answered your prayer yet.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm in that boat sometimes too.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: I want to encourage you today, though.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Don't mistake waiting for abandonment.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: God is still working.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Don't mistake, no, don't mistake uncertainty for absence.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: God is still present.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: But don't mistake closed doors for failure.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: God may be preparing a better door, and he doesn't want you to walk pat walk into that other path.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: And don't try to rush the blessing.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: Trust God's timing, trust his process, trust his heart.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes the greatest transformation God wants to accomplish isn't changing our circumstances, it's changing us.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Love you all.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: Let's pray.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Heavenly Father, thank you for being patient with us when we struggle to be patient ourselves.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for loving our children even more than we do.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for walking us through uncertainty, disappointment, Lord, waiting and change.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: Lord, help us to trust your timing.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Help us to surrender the things we cannot control, Lord.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: And just help us to remember that even when we cannot see you moving, we are still working.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: I pray for every person listening today who is carrying a burden that they never meant to carry alone.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Remember them.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: Remind them, Lord, that you are near, that you are faithful, and that you have plans, and the plans are good.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: And Lord, I thank you for every blessing, both seen and unseen.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: I thank you for humbling me, Lord, and teaching me that patience is often the key that really unlocks the blessing.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: We love you and we praise you, Lord, in Jesus' name.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for joining today, and I love you guys.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: This just came from my heart.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Be encouraged.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: Till next time.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that wraps up this week's episode.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: I hope these devotions help you draw closer to God each day.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: If this episode encouraged you, please share it with someone who might need the same message.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: And don't forget to subscribe so you never miss a weekly episode.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: Also, if you feek if you feel compelled, leaving a nice review would be so appreciated as well.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: For more information or to reach out, check the show notes or visit jessymorganhome.com or find me on Instagram at JessieMorganlife.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, God's timing is always perfect.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: Keep trusting him.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, this is Jessie Morgan praying off.