Latest / Brett Keane and Eve Show / Eve Explains Evolution of Butt Baby
Transcript
- 0:02Oh, listen up folks. This one's a riot.
- 0:05Picture this deep in a misty jungle, 2 gloriously hideous
- 0:11apes, let's call them Grunk and Sludge, lumber around looking
- 0:16like they lost a fight with a blender.
- 0:19These two weren't exactly Romeo and Juliet.
- 0:21They were more like, well like 2 hairy smelly potatoes with
- 0:26delusions of grandeur. One day grunks like oi Sludge,
- 0:32I'm bored of bananas and swinging, let's try something.
- 0:36Sludge, barely able to see past his own unibrow, goes now mate,
- 0:40let's bump butts so they give it a go, right?
- 0:45It's less passionate romance and more 2 drunk octopuses wrestling
- 0:49in a burlap sack. They're grunting, slipping on
- 0:53Moss, One's yelling mind my tail while the other's stuck in a
- 0:57Bush. Hours later, miraculously, a
- 1:01little gremlin of an ape pops out, hairy, lumpy, and already
- 1:05judging everyone. They look at this tiny, confused
- 1:09creature and go, what do we even call this thing?
- 1:12Sludge scratches his head, nearly knocks himself out, and
- 1:15Mumbles Dunno, but baby Grunk thinks it's genius so.
- 1:22But baby it is. Fast forward, but baby grows up,
- 1:26still a bit dodgy looking but with a knack for mischief.
- 1:29He starts bossing the other apes around, inventing stuff like,
- 1:33well, not fire yet, but definitely who farts loudest
- 1:37contests. Eventually he wanders off, meets
- 1:40some other weirdos, and boom, humanity's born.
- 1:44We're all just butt babies descendants strutting around
- 1:48pretending we're not the love child of two ugly apes.
- 1:50Who thought butt bumping was a personality?
- 1:53Makes you wonder, am I just a fancy butt baby?
- 1:57All right, who's got a better origin story than that?