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Let Them: The Secret to Less Stress and More Success · The Boujee Multipreneur

• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, welcome back.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: I want to talk today a little bit about mindset.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: I went over this theory with my employees and my associate doctors recently.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought I should come on and kind of just tell you guys about it too.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure a lot of you have heard this, but have you ever heard the theory of just let them?
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: When someone's doing something or saying something or acting up, like the just let them theory, meaning you can't control what other people are doing.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: You can control how you take it in and let them be who they are.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: But um, you might have heard of this through uh Mel Robbins.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Great book, The Let Them Theory.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Love it.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: But in my life, I try to use that more personally, but even like business and professionally.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I came up with a lot of examples for my um team and I of like, how can we use the let them mindset in our office?
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are some things that frustrate us that we just don't have control of and we can't control the other person, right?
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you remember, um, I own two chiropractic clinics.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's my main job.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, love business coaching.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Thirdly, I have an event space, and I also own several rental houses around me.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: So let them.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about how we're gonna let them in in our mindset in your main office or your main work, so to speak.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna kind of talk a little bit about how I use that in my chiropractic business when I put on my chiropractic hat, if you will.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so here's an example that we talked about.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: We're like, you know, let's say a coworker is running late to meetings, and instead of getting frustrated and trying to micromanage them, we need to accept that we can't change their behavior.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: But should we instead start meetings on time and lead by example?
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, it's their choice to be late, it's their choice to be late to work.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, lead by example, right?
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like don't get yourself worked up over something you can't control.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: You can't control them being to work or to a meeting on time, right?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, use your energy more towards like actions that you can do than worrying about how others behave.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: So, another example that we were talking about.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: If a client chooses to go to another provider instead of dwelling on, well, why didn't they pick us or why did they like that doctor better than me?
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, learn from it.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: What could we do to improve our customer service experience?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then should we be following up more with our patients or with what you know, people in the community?
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: So, like again, take what is what you perceive as negative and think of like, well, how can I do to fix this, right?
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: There must be a reason.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And if you can't figure it out, but it keeps happening over and over again, then we need to look at like what could we do to change things?
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: And we do this in our office all the time because no one's perfect, right?
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: And we can always improve on ourselves and our offices and our businesses.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so another example, you didn't get invited to lunch or dinner or workouting with one of your um employees and your teammates.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: You know, did I do something wrong?
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, how many times have we all felt that way, if we're being honest, when you weren't invited to something?
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: It probably stems from childhood.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a psychologist, but you know, let them make their choices.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about you.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Stay focused on your work and then all the people that bring you value.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: So if that one coworker just doesn't like you and doesn't want to go out to lunch with you, then let them.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's her, his or her like idea, like that it has nothing to do with you.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yes, your feelings can get worked, can get upset and you can get worked up over it, but instead focus on the people around you that maybe want to be with you, right?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Or lead by example, invite other people out.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, another example we are talking about is um when a team member prefers to work alone versus collaborate, right?
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there's different working styles.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Some people work better alone, and some people love to chit-chat and work as a team, but that doesn't always mix, right?
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, which is a great reason to know your coworkers around you.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like what do they prefer?
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Understand their work style and then support them in ways that they want to be supported, right?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Just not what you always want.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: So if your teammate is a uh solo worker and you want to work as a team with them all the time, you know, you got to figure out maybe it's not you, just let them work how they want to work.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's their job.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Let them do it.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: You focus on yourself and how you want to be portrayed and how you want to show up at work.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then another example we came up with is um you have let's say you have like a difficult patient or difficult client, right?
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um instead of trying to change them and make them mold into what you want as a part a perfect patient or a perfect client, um, is there a way that you can adjust your ways of communicating with them?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um and then if they still decide to go somewhere else or see a different doctor or different business, you know, accept it, but then strengthen the relationships around you with the current patients or the clients you have, those who appreciate you.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like it reminds me of how we get like, we'll get like what hundreds of great Google reviews, and then we'll get like one bad one, right?
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: We all have had it and we're like, what did we do wrong?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, we don't like focus on we have like 250 five-star reviews, but we have one bad star, one review, and that you know, we get all upset about it, but you know, we can't.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: We need to like let that go and focus on, you know, building up the people that do love us and the people that do continue to do service with us over and over again.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, we we talked about in our in our staff meeting, and you know, even my friends and I talk about this.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Heck, I even got my mom to listen to the Mel Robbins audiobook.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: But um, I think it's the little reminders all the time is just let them, you know, stop wasting like your your time during the day or your energy, like dwelling on something outside of your own control.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Just let them do their own thing.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: You work on your mindset and your actions and your work and your personal growth.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this way you can ideally reduce the stress at work and even at home, right?
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: And improve like the workplace culture itself, like you being more positive, working on you, staying productive, not worrying about someone not inviting you to this or that, or a patient not liking this or that.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what can you do to step back, let them be who they are, and step back and you know, really be there for you.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I love using this in uh business, personal lives, you know, friendships.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: Heck, I've even tried it recently with my kids, although I have less let them in me when they start acting up because I do feel like I have to uh reprimand them, but you know, let them be who they are and step back and not try to control them.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, even with kids, like let them cool off, try to teach them the best we can, right?
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: But uh eventually they're all going to move out of our houses and be adults, and we're gonna let them make some choices and whether or not we agree with them, right?
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: I know this was a short podcast, just wanted to quickly jump on here because um I've been talking like I feel like daily about this with someone, or just comes up and I just say to myself, let them.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: And someone just told me the other day, a friend, she's like, I like to just say F them.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, also, you could say F them, but let them just sounds nice and pleasant.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: So have a great day.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, just let them.