Latest / MyMaine Birth / 126. MyMaine Birth: Devon's Second Home Birth with Loving Care from Sacopee Midwives

Transcript

126. MyMaine Birth: Devon's Second Home Birth with Loving Care from Sacopee Midwives · MyMaine Birth

• 0:00
  Devon: So I had contractions all night and things just weren't progressing.
• 0:04
  Devon: It was sometimes like an hour without having a single contraction and then I'd have a couple more and I did start to get pretty frustrated.
• 0:12
  Devon: I felt like I was losing all this sleep and I had the midwife sleeping over and we'd sent my son to my parents and it was like supposed to be happening and it wasn't.
• 0:23
  Devon: I think I just started to get in my head about it too.
• 0:25
  Devon: I started to do all of the things I did in my first labor, like I went in the shower because I loved the shower the last time and I sat in the same spot and I was trying to like, recreate and make this thing happen and it wasn't working.
• 0:41
  Angela: I'm Angela and I'm a certified birth photographer, experienced doula, childbirth educator and your host here on the my Maine Birth podcast.
• 0:49
  Angela: This is a space where we share the real-life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine, from our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births.
• 1:08
  Angela: Every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated.
• 1:10
  Angela: Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you.
• 1:14
  Angela: Welcome back.
• 1:16
  Angela: You're listening to episode 126 of my Main Birth.
• 1:20
  Angela: As a reminder, I share all different types of stories that are submitted to me Hospital births, birth center births, all different types of home births, positive stories, negative stories and everything in between.
• 1:33
  Angela: The only requirement for sharing a birth story on the podcast is that at least one of your birth stories is a main birth story.
• 1:40
  Angela: As an added bonus, all of my podcast guests receive a gift certificate for a family adventure photo session on the session day of your choice.
• 1:48
  Angela: I host session days for my podcast guests at iconic locations across Maine throughout the spring, summer and fall, and because these days are reserved exclusively for my podcast guests, I still have plenty of fall dates open.
• 2:02
  Angela: So if you're interested in joining the community of Maine Moms sharing birth stories on the podcast.
• 2:08
  Angela: You can fill out the form over on the podcast page on my website, mymainbirthcom, or you can always send me a message over on Instagram at mymainbirth.
• 2:20
  Angela: Today's birth story guest is Devin, and she is here at around four months postpartum to share all about her second birth experience.
• 2:28
  Angela: Devin shared her first birth story back in episode 41 of the podcast, so go check that out if you want to hear her full story.
• 2:36
  Angela: All right, hi Devin, welcome to my Main Birth.
• 2:40
  Angela: Hey, angela, how are you?
• 2:43
  Angela: I'm doing well.
• 2:44
  Angela: How are you?
• 2:45
  Angela: I'm doing great.
• 2:47
  Angela: It's good to see you again.
• 2:48
  Angela: Yeah, I'm so excited to hear your second birth story.
• 2:54
  Angela: How exciting.
• 2:55
  Angela: So, to get started, would you share a little bit about you and your family?
• 3:00
  Devon: Yeah, so I live in Alfred with my husband Travis, and we now have two kids.
• 3:07
  Devon: Our son, Anders, just turned two in June, and we have an almost four-month-old daughter, Ingrid.
• 3:16
  Angela: How did you find out you were pregnant for the second time and what were your thoughts in choosing your care?
• 3:22
  Devon: So it was a very happy surprise.
• 3:26
  Devon: It had been pretty difficult to get pregnant for the first time, and so I had started weaning my first.
• 3:35
  Devon: We had introduced cow's milk.
• 3:37
  Devon: He was like 13 months old but was still nursing, and I hadn't gotten my period back.
• 3:43
  Devon: I was sort of anticipating needing to completely wean and then start trying to get pregnant.
• 3:50
  Devon: And then suddenly I was brushing my teeth and my toothbrush started to taste really weird and tasted like soap.
• 4:00
  Devon: Asking my husband did you clean my toothbrush?
• 4:02
  Devon: What is happening?
• 4:04
  Devon: I went and bought a new one, cause I couldn't make it taste normal, but it didn't faze me.
• 4:10
  Devon: I just was like something's off about my toothbrush and and I went out with a friend and got a donut and it tasted really bad.
• 4:17
  Devon: I've never had a gross donut.
• 4:20
  Devon: Like even if I don't love it, it's never tasted awful.
• 4:23
  Devon: This is really weird.
• 4:25
  Devon: Um and so that day I took a pregnancy test, just like that was the only thing I could think of that that would explain those two things.
• 4:31
  Devon: And it was positive and we just could not believe it, like, had you know, weren't planning on it at all, but it was the dream to not have to go through that process again, of of trying, and that had been pretty stressful and hard the first time.
• 4:47
  Devon: So we had always wished oh lovely an accident.
• 4:51
  Devon: So that was really exciting.
• 4:53
  Devon: And my husband didn't believe me that any line means pregnant.
• 4:57
  Devon: It was pretty faint and so he ran out and got the digital ones and confirmed that it was positive.
• 5:03
  Devon: And in terms of my care, I just immediately reached out to the same midwives.
• 5:09
  Devon: I had used Sokobi for my first birth and loved everything about them, had no intentions to ever use anybody else, and so they were pretty much the first people to know after my husband and just wanted to make sure that I got a spot with them.
• 5:24
  Devon: People to know after my husband and just wanted to make sure that I got a spot with them.
• 5:28
  Devon: So, yeah, I just I didn't really think about it Honestly, it was just instant.
• 5:31
  Angela: Like I know that I would use them in the future.
• 5:32
  Angela: Yeah, so how are you feeling during that pregnancy?
• 5:35
  Devon: Really generally pretty good.
• 5:37
  Devon: I was surprised that I actually felt much better this time around.
• 5:41
  Devon: I sort of anticipated, you know, you hear it's so hard to be pregnant with a toddler, which I don't disagree with but I think just the pregnancy itself was easier this time around.
• 5:50
  Devon: The first trimester I was physically fine, I didn't feel as nauseous, I didn't throw up, but emotionally it felt really hard.
• 5:57
  Devon: I felt pretty down and depressed, not about the pregnancy at all.
• 6:01
  Devon: I was very excited about the pregnancy, just, I think, the way the hormones affected me this time around.
• 6:06
  Devon: I felt it like that way instead of physically.
• 6:10
  Devon: And then I woke up like the morning that I hit the second trimester and felt like a new person.
• 6:16
  Devon: I had been kind of worried that it was going to last.
• 6:19
  Devon: The whole time.
• 6:20
  Devon: I hadn't thought of it as like a first trimester symptom, but I just was like, oh, I feel normal again.
• 6:27
  Devon: So that was a really nice change and yeah, I felt like I got the second trimester sort of burst of energy.
• 6:36
  Devon: I honestly barely felt pregnant, like if I didn't have a bump I don't think I would have known I was pregnant, which was awesome.
• 6:43
  Devon: I didn't experience that the first time, I think.
• 6:49
  Devon: Towards the end I started to feel more physically done earlier.
• 6:51
  Devon: My last pregnancy I went until almost 43 weeks and I never felt like physically like I was done being pregnant, where this time, by like 35 weeks, I felt like I'm really big and tired Like this.
• 7:01
  Devon: This isn't that fun anymore.
• 7:03
  Devon: But in general I felt really lucky to have a pretty easy pregnancy physically.
• 7:10
  Angela: So how were your appointments looking throughout your pregnancy and did you do any testing?
• 7:17
  Devon: Yes.
• 7:17
  Devon: So I did the genetic testing in the first trimester and we also found out through that that we were having a girl and everything you know luckily came back negative for that.
• 7:28
  Devon: I did the anatomy scan at 20 weeks.
• 7:30
  Devon: I did the test for gestational diabetes at home.
• 7:35
  Devon: I did like a smoothie recipe and just took my own fasting blood sugar and then after one hour and two hours blood sugar and then after one hour and two hours and I did the GBS test around like 37 weeks.
• 7:53
  Devon: The appointments it's funny I kind of beforehand was wondering how I was going to fill in our appointment each time because the first time around I'd had so many questions and didn't know a whole lot going into the pregnancy.
• 8:01
  Devon: So we'd talk about you know what would it mean if I was GBS positive or, you know, just like learning a lot of information.
• 8:08
  Devon: So I didn't know like how I would fill an hour appointment each time.
• 8:12
  Devon: But I felt like we actually had more to talk about this time.
• 8:17
  Devon: Just my first birth I had a pretty bad tear and I think that sort of dominated my my like thoughts and feelings about that pregnancy.
• 8:26
  Devon: And I had a pretty bad tear and I think that sort of dominated my thoughts and feelings about that pregnancy and I had a lot of fear going into the second one about birth.
• 8:32
  Devon: In that way I just really really did not want to tear like that again and I really didn't want to have to transfer to the hospital.
• 8:39
  Devon: My first I gave birth at home and then transferred for a repair, and so I felt like we just talked about that a lot because it was just on my mind like ways that we could avoid it, like things I could do at home, things the midwives could do to support it, just sort of mentally I think I just had to talk it through and it took a long time.
• 9:00
  Devon: So I was very grateful to have those long appointments to just like rehash that again and again, and my midwives are really helpful in helping me come up with ways to of emotional side of it.
• 9:26
  Devon: I did her birth portal experience and helped me feel ready for birthing, to sort of accept what was going to happen, and I felt like it hearing her tell me like you could give birth and not tear was what I needed to hear.
• 9:39
  Devon: Just have somebody like who knows what they're doing, tell me like this could actually be okay.
• 9:43
  Devon: So that was just have somebody like who knows what they're doing, tell me like this could actually be okay.
• 9:47
  Devon: So that was, that was really great for me.
• 9:48
  Devon: So, yeah, I'd say that that.
• 9:49
  Devon: And then the other thing I'd say that sort of took up a lot of time with my appointments was she kept flipping transverse so she'd be head down and then go sideways and I could feel it was very obvious to me when she would flip and so I'd start doing all the spinning babies and versions.
• 10:08
  Devon: I'd put ice packs and heat packs and play music, like I tried all these things to get her to flip back head down and she would, and I'd go back to my midwives and they would confirm she was head down and then she'd flip again down and then she'd flip again.
• 10:26
  Devon: So that caused me a lot of stress in the third trimester, just really wanting a home birth, really wanting a vaginal birth, and being worried that she would get stuck at some point, being in the wrong position.
• 10:33
  Devon: But I want to say it was around 36 weeks she started to stay put and I had read that that was probably going to happen, that second or subsequent babies can often move a lot more, but I still just felt like really worried about it.
• 10:52
  Devon: So towards the end I did get one growth scan.
• 10:55
  Devon: My bundle height wasn't growing quite as quickly as it had been and so I like just past 40 weeks, I got a growth scan which showed she was already over eight pounds.
• 11:04
  Devon: Turned out to be wrong anyway, but there wasn't any worry about it after that.
• 11:12
  Devon: It felt like she was above the 50th percentile and they did like the fluid levels and saw that she was taking practice breaths and all that.
• 11:18
  Devon: So I felt like I got some confirmation that everything was OK.
• 11:23
  Angela: It is nice to have that reassurance, but that was kind of one of the things that came up in your first birth story too right when, like, the ultrasound was like not totally correct.
• 11:30
  Devon: Yeah, both of mine have been way over estimating the weight, which is funny because at this one the woman came in and her first line was all right, am I going to give you an eviction notice, which really bugged us, like no, you're not, but yeah, I think, suggesting that she would recommend an induction or something.
• 11:52
  Devon: And once she told us the size I said, oh, how accurate do you think?
• 11:57
  Devon: That is Just kind of curious what she would say.
• 11:59
  Devon: And she said, well, they can be off, but I'm very accurate.
• 12:03
  Devon: She said she had measured her daughter-in-law or something and was perfectly on the spot.
• 12:08
  Devon: And then she was way off.
• 12:10
  Devon: So I, you know, I felt like it told us what we needed to know, that she wasn't growth restricted, there wasn't some issue.
• 12:17
  Devon: But I didn't put too much stock into the number.
• 12:21
  Devon: I was like, okay, as long as she's not, you know, four pounds or something, we're, we're okay.
• 12:27
  Angela: Exactly.
• 12:27
  Angela: You got the overall information and you're going to stick with your plan.
• 12:32
  Angela: She can keep her eviction notice.
• 12:33
  Angela: Oh my God.
• 12:35
  Devon: Yeah, she's so confident, like I'm perfectly accurate, you know.
• 12:39
  Angela: Wow, that's funny.
• 12:41
  Angela: Would you share a little bit more about your thoughts on Emily Wilson's the Birth Portal experience?
• 12:47
  Angela: I'm so curious how was that for you?
• 12:49
  Devon: Yeah, it was very different than any sort of care I'd ever gotten.
• 12:54
  Devon: I had gone to pelvic floor PT about 10 months postpartum with my first just for sort of more typical pelvic pelvic floor stuff and this was a pretty different experience.
• 13:06
  Devon: It was much more sort of tuned into the emotional, like mental component as well as the physical.
• 13:14
  Devon: So you know, she asked all about my birth, all about the tear specifically, because that was sort of why I was there and my thoughts and feelings and plans for the birth.
• 13:26
  Devon: It felt like sort of an integrated part of my birth prep rather than just like focusing on the pelvic floor.
• 13:33
  Devon: And the birth portal part was really interesting.
• 13:39
  Devon: I'm not a super good like meditator or not great at like imagining.
• 13:47
  Devon: I'm pretty like concrete and don't do much meditating, which was a lot of what her work entailed.
• 13:55
  Devon: But I think it was really good for me and it helped me work through a lot of my fears about the birth, about postpartum and recovery, and actually got me excited for the birth.
• 14:07
  Devon: I was really excited to have a baby, but I was not excited to give birth again because of fears about tearing and that recovery.
• 14:17
  Devon: And during this birth portal ceremony she sort of had me lay on my side ceremony.
• 14:27
  Devon: She sort of had me lay on my side and it's hard to explain, but basically kind of creates this birth situation where, like, the baby is born and she like places it on your chest, she put a lot of weight onto my chest.
• 14:35
  Devon: I could feel her coming down the birth canal and then get the baby on my chest and that was this moment I felt like, oh my gosh, I'm going to actually have a baby on my chest, and it made me able to imagine it going differently.
• 14:48
  Devon: I was stuck in this like I felt like my birth was going to be the same as the first time around, but maybe faster.
• 14:56
  Devon: Right, I felt like it would be faster but all the same things would happen.
• 14:59
  Devon: Like I would labor in the same places and the same positions and then the same tear would happen, and I was replaying that sort of story in my mind.
• 15:07
  Devon: And her leading this pretend birth, where things went differently, actually worked in a way that I honestly didn't really expect it to.
• 15:16
  Devon: I thought, oh, this will be an interesting experience, but not totally my thing, and I came out of it like really pretty blown away by the whole experience.
• 15:26
  Devon: So I would highly recommend it.
• 15:28
  Devon: I know it's hard to get in with her.
• 15:31
  Devon: She's pretty booked, but I was glad I only went to her maybe three times, but I felt like for what I needed, that was enough.
• 15:40
  Angela: Yeah, the mental aspect of preparing for birth is often underrated.
• 15:46
  Angela: I feel like it's like, yeah, like the most underrated maybe piece of like the birth prep puzzle and it's just so important to really prepare your mindset for birth, to like going into it, to have a positive experience.
• 16:04
  Devon: I listened to so many positive stories and I felt like I did everything to prepare and went in pretty confidently.
• 16:07
  Devon: And the second time, because things hadn't quite gone as I planned and I felt like I had done everything to avoid that tear, right, like everything they say to do is what I did, like I wasn't on my back, I didn't have an epidural, I had no coach pushing, I right, like it was like, okay, what else am I supposed to do?
• 16:25
  Devon: Like I just got unlucky, basically with the statistics and but that was scary because I didn't know what else I could do to prepare um to for things to go differently the second time.
• 16:37
  Devon: And so that seeing, seeing her, was one thing that I was like, okay, this is different, yeah, I'm trying one more thing.
• 16:45
  Devon: And and she just made me feel more confident because I was worried that I'd get to the pushing stage and be really scared to push and like that, that I would somehow sabotage myself.
• 16:58
  Devon: And, honestly, when it came time to push, like and I'll get to that later, but I just it didn't cross my mind, I didn't really think about it at all.
• 17:06
  Devon: So I think it, I think it kind of worked.
• 17:09
  Angela: Yeah, that's so incredible.
• 17:10
  Angela: And then also combined with, like, the prenatal care, which is really focused on each parent, you know, and like you needed to talk about that, like for most of your appointments.
• 17:19
  Angela: That is just amazing that the midwives kind of meet you where you're at.
• 17:23
  Angela: In that way it's preparing for your birth, even if it's like, you know, second or fourth or fifth, you know, baby.
• 17:29
  Angela: You know it's like always so supportive to have that prenatal care well-rounded.
• 17:35
  Devon: Yeah, one thing that was also really nice was that because they had been there for my first birth, they remembered it vividly, like I'm I'm really impressed.
• 17:43
  Devon: I know they go to a lot of births, but they remembered things about my birth that they were able to help me recognize.
• 17:51
  Devon: Oh, like that was a weird thing that probably won't happen again.
• 17:54
  Devon: My son, when he was born, kind of his head was born and then he sort of supermanned his arms out.
• 17:58
  Devon: They say Like we haven't seen a baby do that and that's probably not going to happen again.
• 18:05
  Devon: And having them who were there and experienced it with me and able to talk through it felt different than telling it to a stranger.
• 18:14
  Angela: Yeah, oh, my gosh, definitely so was his position as he was emerging, then the reason that they thought contributed to the tearing.
• 18:24
  Devon: But he just did this weird thing with his hands, where he shot them up.
• 18:28
  Angela: Wow, that's interesting Birth, is?
• 18:30
  Angela: It's unpredictable?
• 18:31
  Angela: Yeah, yeah, okay, tell me what were like the final weeks and then days leading up to when your labor started, like for you.
• 18:39
  Devon: So, like I said, my first had gone till almost 43 weeks.
• 18:44
  Devon: He was born at 42 and five and so I had this time known to mentally prepare to go away past my due date.
• 18:51
  Devon: I had.
• 18:52
  Devon: I was due on April 19th and I told myself I was going to have a May baby.
• 18:56
  Devon: I really hyped myself up that I wanted her to be born in May, like I don't want an April baby, just I don't know, because I felt like I needed to do that.
• 19:05
  Devon: I needed to do that and she was eventually born at 41 on the dot, which felt early to me.
• 19:14
  Devon: I was not quite ready.
• 19:14
  Devon: I was ready, I had the stuff ready and I was excited, but it didn't feel like I was past my due date because I had just wrapped my head around the first week of May.
• 19:24
  Devon: In terms of labor starting, I had prodromal labor, for it started on the 24th, like overnight.
• 19:33
  Devon: I had, I was having contractions, but they were pretty mild, like I.
• 19:36
  Devon: Just I stayed in bed and I kind of knew it was early and prodromal at that point, like I wasn't actually thinking I'm having a baby tonight.
• 19:47
  Devon: It just felt like, oh, I'm feeling stuff, point.
• 19:49
  Devon: Like I wasn't actually thinking I'm having a baby tonight.
• 19:51
  Devon: It just felt like, oh, I'm feeling stuff.
• 19:52
  Devon: And I texted my midwives in the morning when I woke up and said, oh, I was like having contractions last night, but nothing at this point.
• 20:01
  Devon: And then that evening or like late afternoon they started up again.
• 20:02
  Devon: It was sort of the same, like I could keep going about my day, as you know, taking care of my son and feeling them, but I wasn't timing anything or really thinking too much about it.
• 20:15
  Devon: But we decided that night to send my son to my parents house, just in case we didn't want him here for the birth.
• 20:23
  Devon: I had originally thought I did, and then I got a nosebleed at one point and saw how panicked he was and felt like that wouldn't, it wouldn't be good for any of us to have him here.
• 20:32
  Devon: So he got picked up and we thought like maybe it could be tonight.
• 20:38
  Devon: Um, I had a feeling it was gonna pick up once he left.
• 20:43
  Devon: So I texted the midwives that night around nine and let them know like I was having them about like six to ten minutes apart, but they were pretty short contractions and Acadia one of the midwives.
• 20:55
  Devon: She asked a couple questions and then asked if she could come over and just sleep on her couch and I was like, yeah, that's, I didn't mind at all if she came.
• 21:05
  Devon: But I also didn't want it to be a false alarm, because I had contractions the night before and nothing happened.
• 21:10
  Devon: And she was really sweet and was like no, I'd feel better just being there in case something does happen, and no pressure at all.
• 21:19
  Devon: Worst thing is, I just go home in the morning and unfortunately that did happen.
• 21:23
  Devon: So I had contractions all night and things just weren't progressing.
• 21:29
  Devon: It was sometimes like an hour without having a single contraction and then I'd have a couple more and I did start to get pretty frustrated.
• 21:36
  Devon: I felt like I was losing all this sleep and I had the midwife sleeping over and we'd sent my son to my parents and it was like supposed to be happening and it wasn't.
• 21:47
  Devon: I think I just started to get in my head about it too.
• 21:50
  Devon: I started to do all of the things I did in my first labor, like I.
• 21:53
  Devon: I went in the shower because I loved the shower the last time and I sat in the same spot and I just trying to like, recreate and make this thing happen and it wasn't working.
• 22:04
  Devon: So Acadia stayed over and she would check on me now and then we'd chat.
• 22:10
  Devon: I was having a lot of back labor and talking about how to try to get baby into maybe a better position, but she she headed out in the morning when nothing was happening.
• 22:20
  Devon: So that day a bunch of my family was up visiting and so we spent the day at my parents' house, about 30 minutes from us, and I was having contractions the whole day.
• 22:32
  Devon: Looking back, I was obviously in early labor At this point.
• 22:37
  Devon: I'd been going on a couple of days, and so I was just in denial that it was actually ramping up a little bit.
• 22:43
  Devon: We were celebrating Easter and I was just eating and hanging out with everyone, and then people would say, are you okay?
• 22:50
  Devon: And I was like, yeah, you know, just like having contractions at the Easter dinner table.
• 22:59
  Angela: And what else are you going to do, really, right?
• 23:00
  Angela: I mean, you're just living your life until baby comes.
• 23:03
  Devon: Yeah, but I think it really helped because I did not think I was in labor.
• 23:08
  Devon: And then my husband was like oh, do you want to take a bath?
• 23:11
  Devon: My parents have this nice jet tub.
• 23:14
  Devon: Oh, that sounds great.
• 23:15
  Devon: So I took a nice bath, which that's one of those things, looking back like I've never left a family function to go take a bath.
• 23:23
  Devon: Obviously I was in labor, but in my head I was just enjoying the tub.
• 23:28
  Devon: And then my husband and I went on a walk.
• 23:31
  Devon: We were supposed to go out to a bar and have drinks Not me, obviously.
• 23:37
  Devon: But we went on a little walk right before we left and I was like you know, I just don't know if I want to go out for drinks.
• 23:43
  Devon: This just doesn't seem.
• 23:44
  Devon: I just don't have the energy, I don't feel like it.
• 23:47
  Devon: So we decided we'd head home.
• 23:50
  Devon: We got home, I laid down to turn on some Netflix and I had a big contraction.
• 23:56
  Devon: My water broke and I was like well, it's a very good thing we're not at the bar right now.
• 24:02
  Devon: So right away we called the midwives to let them know that my water broke and I knew at that point that things were about to really pick up.
• 24:12
  Devon: That contraction was a really, really strong one and I figured like my body had been doing something over the past couple of days, like it wasn't moving as quickly as I'd wanted it to.
• 24:22
  Devon: But I figured that at that point things were about to start happening.
• 24:26
  Devon: So we called the midwives and they told Travis to get the tub filled up right away and that they were coming immediately.
• 24:35
  Devon: And he ended up having a lot of tub problems, like the hose didn't work and it was spraying all over the bathroom.
• 24:42
  Devon: He was getting really stressed and I had to eventually tell him like I need oxytocin right now.
• 24:51
  Devon: Stop banging around and freaking out about the tub.
• 24:55
  Devon: If we don't fill it, we don't fill it.
• 24:56
  Devon: But the baby's going to come either way and I need you to calm down.
• 25:02
  Devon: And he did a great job, like he recognized at that point.
• 25:05
  Devon: But you know he had said after he felt like that was his one job and he was failing and he had tested the hose and why didn't it work.
• 25:13
  Devon: But he did a really great job and we used five gallon buckets and he got it filled and I just paced all around the house.
• 25:26
  Devon: I had labor combs and that was pretty much all I needed to cope.
• 25:34
  Devon: He was really busy filling the pool and I just didn't think I was very far along yet.
• 25:41
  Devon: It didn't feel as intense as I remembered, and one thing that Dr Emily Wilson had given me was this visualization of other women, sort of like holding my back, like ancestors or you know other women in my life who've given birth, and so I used that actually a lot in labor and also I had this image like a flower, sort of opening as the contraction peaked and then like closing as it would go back down, and I was just sort of on my own doing that, and every now and then I'd have one really intense one where I needed him to give me counter pressure and I'd call for him from the bathroom and the midwives arrived and she asked oh, how long have your contractions been?
• 26:28
  Devon: Two minutes apart arrived and she asked oh, how long have your contractions been two minutes apart?
• 26:30
  Devon: I said, oh, I had no idea they were two minutes apart, like I wasn't, I wasn't timing anything or I just didn't think I was that far along oh, and I should mention at this point, we had a birth photographer and so I told her.
• 26:43
  Devon: Then I told her when my water broke and she said, okay, let's see what your midwives think about when I should head over.
• 26:49
  Devon: And so when they asked how long they'd been two minutes apart I let her know that they were two minutes apart and so she left immediately.
• 27:00
  Devon: And yeah, at that point they suggested that I got in the tub and I felt like it was possibly too early.
• 27:07
  Devon: I was really worried about slowing things down and so I kind of whispered to my husband like I don't want to get in yet.
• 27:13
  Devon: I think things are going to slow down.
• 27:15
  Devon: So he's like, okay, just you know, keep keep walking, do your thing.
• 27:19
  Devon: And I ended up hopping in the tub a few minutes later and he actually wrote down.
• 27:25
  Devon: I asked him to write down a few time stamps as labor was going, because I was just curious.
• 27:31
  Devon: I knew I wouldn't remember.
• 27:32
  Devon: So he had put like when I was worried about contractions slowing down and then about like 10 minutes later I was pushing.
• 27:41
  Devon: So it did not slow down.
• 27:44
  Devon: I was just much further along than I had imagined I could be Like I anticipated this birth being faster, but I had no idea how much faster it would be.
• 27:54
  Devon: So I had maybe two contractions in the tub and then felt the urge to push.
• 27:58
  Devon: I pushed for a little bit in the tub and this time I had a hard sided tub, which I really liked a lot better than the inflatable.
• 28:07
  Devon: My first birth I had an inflatable and I felt like I couldn't really get a lot of like energy behind it because I was flopping around.
• 28:16
  Devon: So I really liked having the hard sided one.
• 28:19
  Devon: But I eventually did get out of the tub and I sort of hung on to my husband's shoulders and used gravity to help, like that had really been effective in my first birth.
• 28:30
  Devon: And so we were like, oh, we should try that, that position we really liked during Anders birth and within a couple of pushes her head was born and I just felt so with it.
• 28:42
  Devon: This time, my first birth, I had been so exhausted I had thrown up a lot during labor.
• 28:46
  Devon: It was a lot longer the time of day, like it had been the middle of the night where I had thrown up a lot during labor.
• 28:49
  Devon: It was a lot longer the time of day.
• 28:49
  Devon: It had been the middle of the night where I had gotten no sleep and this time just felt like I was so alert, I was so conscious and I was saying to my husband like oh, don't you want to catch her?
• 29:00
  Devon: Do I need to let go of you?
• 29:04
  Devon: Do you want to catch her?
• 29:04
  Devon: And I just felt normal, I was having a baby, but I felt like myself, which was a cool and weird experience so my midwife was there and sort of caught her head and then my husband kind of caught her body with the next push and so, yeah, she was born in our living room just standing right next to our couch, and it was.
• 29:28
  Devon: It was incredible.
• 29:29
  Devon: I just really felt like it was easy in a way that I just hadn't expected, like the first had just prepared me for something that was so incredibly difficult.
• 29:41
  Devon: And this definitely had difficult moments.
• 29:44
  Devon: It was not easy, but in comparison to the first, it just felt like the speed and I think the hours and days of sort of denial that labor was happening really helped me in the end, because I felt like I just had this two hour labor and you know pushing was.
• 30:04
  Devon: I think it was like a little under 30 minutes of pushing, which is a lot better than three hours.
• 30:09
  Devon: So I felt like really just surprised by how quickly it went and that I felt good and, yeah, I was just really really happy.
• 30:21
  Devon: So I kind of laid down on the couch right after that and Travis put her right on my chest and she had a really nice long cord so I was able to, like have her all the way up and our photographer did not make it.
• 30:39
  Devon: She walked in like maybe five minutes after she was born and we felt so bad, like she knew instantly that that she had missed it and it wasn't her fault.
• 30:49
  Devon: It just went too quickly.
• 30:51
  Angela: Oh no, but at least you got those super fresh postpartum photos.
• 30:56
  Devon: Yes, very beautiful photos.
• 30:57
  Devon: And it really like we hadn't cut the cord, we hadn't, like we were still a mess.
• 31:02
  Devon: It's very raw and beautiful.
• 31:04
  Devon: It makes me wish even more that we had the birth photos, seeing how beautiful the post-birth photos are, but only because we love them, like it's very special.
• 31:14
  Devon: And, yeah, I hadn't moved from the, I was still just laying on the couch, had baby on my chest and and she walked in and did a great job at just sort of quietly integrating herself and getting a lot of photos.
• 31:28
  Devon: I didn't really even notice anything that she was doing.
• 31:31
  Angela: So how was the rest of your immediate postpartum?
• 31:34
  Angela: Was there tearing?
• 31:37
  Devon: So the placenta came right away.
• 31:41
  Devon: My daughter's foot had kind of pulled it.
• 31:43
  Devon: The cord was wrapped around her foot and ankle and so when she was born it just sort of came out.
• 31:49
  Devon: And so that was really a pleasant surprise, like I didn't have to really push or, you know, go through any concerns about the placenta being born and I I moved to a bed to just sort of have our golden hour and establish breastfeeding, and so that was a really nice quiet time called my family let them know that she was born and they were all still at the bar.
• 32:17
  Devon: So it's like fun to like be able to talk to everybody together.
• 32:20
  Devon: So that was a really, really nice time and I was pretty anxious for them to look and see about the tearing and I felt like they kept pushing it off.
• 32:32
  Devon: I think they just wanted me to enjoy the golden hour and get breastfeeding going.
• 32:38
  Devon: They did the newborn exam, but with my first I had waited quite a while and what they told me at Maine Med was like it was a lot worse because I had waited so long, but the swelling made it harder to do the repair.
• 32:51
  Devon: So I just felt like I wanted to know and so they looked and pretty quickly, like very gently, broke it to me that it was bad and I would have to transfer again and I had like the biggest cry of my life, honestly no-transcript.
• 33:31
  Devon: And so I just took a while to be sad and we chatted about what we wanted to do, because I had a lot of concerns about how it was handled last time.
• 33:45
  Devon: I didn't have a great experience in the hospital and so they suggested that I could go to Bedford instead and maybe just trying a different hospital would be a better experience.
• 33:54
  Devon: And I also told them that I wanted anesthesia my first birth.
• 33:59
  Devon: With the repair I had declined getting like a spinal or anything because I just I think it was more stubbornness.
• 34:06
  Devon: I felt like man, I just had this baby at home with like no drugs and I just did this thing and I don't want to now get an epidural after the fact.
• 34:17
  Devon: Like that just felt kind of funny to me and I was worried about like breastfeeding and the medication.
• 34:23
  Devon: But this time I'd done more research and more thinking and just felt like I think not having the medication had really made that first repair pretty brutal.
• 34:33
  Devon: I felt like I was really suffering and I did not want to do that again.
• 34:38
  Devon: So I'd planned if I did need to transfer, I wanted anesthesia and so I talked to midwives about that and they called Biddeford and told them that we were coming, that I wanted a spinal and hoping that they could be prepared for when I got there.
• 34:58
  Devon: So we got in the car, drove to the hospital and left.
• 35:05
  Devon: It honestly did not go well.
• 35:07
  Devon: So, maine Med, when you transfer, they had been ready for me and were able to bring me right upstairs, right to labor and delivery and had people ready to go At Biddeford, even though the midwives had called, they said I had to go through ER and so I had to go through triage and then see an ER doc who had to examine me, even though the midwives had told them like she has a very bad tear, you know they examined me at home and had called to let them know, but they said, no, the ER doctor has to do it.
• 35:46
  Devon: And so she had me like put my hips up on a bedpan and examine me and it's like and of course it's extremely painful, and she's like, yep, you have a tear.
• 35:57
  Devon: Yep, we knew that.
• 36:01
  Devon: She said I don't, I don't do those repairs, you're going to have to go to labor and delivery, which we knew the whole time.
• 36:07
  Devon: Right Like it.
• 36:08
  Devon: It just felt like, okay, now two more hours have gone by, I was really trying to do this quicker and just get it over with.
• 36:19
  Devon: So they finally bring me upstairs and they were only able to give me Tylenol in the ER.
• 36:23
  Devon: So I had some Tylenol and finally got up to labor and delivery and it was just a pretty poor experience honestly felt like the nurse didn't know what she was doing, like they couldn't get an IV for a very long time.
• 36:38
  Devon: And then the doctor came in and, you know, said that he didn't have the right tools.
• 36:45
  Devon: He kept saying he needed forceps, which I was like very confused because I've already had a baby and he just he didn't have a great bedside manner.
• 36:56
  Devon: And my husband ended up kind of confronting him at one point and saying, like you know, do you even want to be our doctor?
• 37:06
  Devon: Basically, and I started crying, I was pretty upset and emotional, like the whole experience was really hard and after my husband confronted him, he was, he was much better.
• 37:19
  Devon: It it actually worked, but I was worried it would have the opposite effect.
• 37:23
  Devon: I I thought like I don't want to be the difficult patient, in case it turns him like more against us.
• 37:31
  Devon: And I think it was just very jarring for me going from my midwives at home and super supportive, like loving environment, to this very sterile, like hospital room where I didn't I'd never met this doctor and he's he would say things like, oh, I'm going to tell you everything I'm going to do, and then would just immediately start touching things without saying anything.
• 37:53
  Devon: And and my midwife came with us and and she ended up, you know, she really pointed that out and would tell me okay, you're going to feel his touch because he wasn't telling me.
• 38:05
  Devon: And like, informed consent, you know, is very important and he wasn't giving me any of that and he didn't want me to get a spinal.
• 38:16
  Devon: He said we could just do it without it and I said, no, I'd really like it, and so I did let him try.
• 38:22
  Devon: But then he told me, well, I did ask for the anesthesia and I didn't say it to him, but I'm like I have done this before without it, but I would really like it.
• 38:41
  Devon: I feel like they'd be able to do a better job if I'm more numb and that I'd have a less traumatic experience.
• 38:48
  Devon: And he said, well, we're going to have to call the anesthesiologist he's at home and I said that's fine.
• 38:55
  Devon: You know, I really just I want to not feel this.
• 38:59
  Devon: So we waited.
• 39:00
  Devon: They called the anesthesiologist, who came in from home, and they also had to call in nurses for the PACU and for the OR and they told me I wouldn't be able to have the baby with me in the OR, which I said was okay.
• 39:19
  Devon: So finally, like after a very long wait, they were ready and I went to the OR and it was such a good experience.
• 39:22
  Devon: Like he really changed his tune.
• 39:23
  Devon: It was the same doctor, but I think my husband's confrontation and I think the fact that I couldn't feel anything also helped.
• 39:32
  Devon: I was probably more compliant and I did not enjoy the experience at all, but I'm very grateful that we pushed to get the anesthesia.
• 39:42
  Devon: It made it a lot more bearable for me and I think it helped with the recovery ultimately that they were able to do a more thorough job without me squirming around.
• 39:52
  Devon: It did prolong how long I had to stay in the hospital because I couldn't walk, so I had to stay, I think about six hours after they finished the repair.
• 40:04
  Devon: I had to stay until I could walk and go to the bathroom and then after that I was able to go home.
• 40:10
  Devon: I could walk and go to the bathroom and then after that I was able to go home.
• 40:13
  Devon: I also this time made sure to ask for harder pain medication to go home with.
• 40:19
  Devon: I had declined that last time and regretted it, so I just wanted to have something on hand if I needed it.
• 40:22
  Devon: So I think ultimately, having done it once before, I was grateful in a way to have had that experience, to know what I wanted the second time around, like I knew what had made it challenging.
• 40:35
  Devon: It was just frustrating that the first time I'd gone they really pushed me to get a spinal and I had refused.
• 40:42
  Devon: And then this time I was like, okay, you know, they're right, I'm going to get the spinal, and they told me I didn't need it.
• 41:10
  Devon: No-transcript, a rough end to a really incredible birth, but ultimately I think it hasn't overshadowed my birth at all.
• 41:21
  Devon: With my first, I felt like for a year all I thought about was the tear and the recovery and how awful those two parts of it were.
• 41:29
  Devon: And this time has been much different.
• 41:32
  Devon: I think I had an easier recovery, despite having a similar tear.
• 41:36
  Devon: My husband was able to be home for three weeks this time, and so he was able to wait on me and bring me everything in bed and take care of our toddler, so I was able to just heal a bit quicker.
• 41:49
  Devon: But yeah, that was my unfortunate end to thinking I was going to have a different tear, but I do feel okay about it in a way that I didn't the first time around.
• 42:03
  Angela: Yeah, it's almost like having that mindset work that you did before.
• 42:06
  Angela: Did you find that that was helpful for you in the postpartum?
• 42:10
  Devon: Yeah, I think it definitely was, and I mean I think I needed it to get through the birth, regardless of how it ended up, like I didn't feel any fear about pushing or tearing.
• 42:20
  Devon: I wasn't thinking about tearing while in labor, I was just in the moment doing it and I really didn't think that they were going to tell me right, like you just have so many hormones after and you feel good and you feel like man, I just did that, like I'm going to just get to stay in this bed, and so that was a really shocking moment.
• 42:42
  Devon: But I'm grateful that it was that I wasn't already thinking, oh my gosh, I have to go, you know, deal with this.
• 42:48
  Devon: I just got to actually have my couple of golden hours actually and enjoy my baby and and then deal with it.
• 42:57
  Devon: And I think it's easier the second time around, knowing that you do eventually feel better.
• 43:04
  Devon: I think the first time I was shocked at how long the recovery was and I felt like I don't know if I'm ever going to have another baby.
• 43:10
  Devon: I don't know if I'm ever going to feel like no pain or no discomfort.
• 43:15
  Devon: And now I know like, okay, it's going to be longer than like maybe the average recovery, but eventually it will be, you know, okay, and it has been a lot easier the second time around.
• 43:30
  Devon: So I think, whether it's the mental side of it or just physically, it actually only ended up being a second degree perineal tear.
• 43:39
  Devon: There's just like six other tears that needed repair as well, so it's kind of like a complex second degree tear where the first had been a complex third degree tear and he said that it just tore along all of the scar tissue.
• 43:53
  Devon: I think the hard part for me now is feeling like it will definitely happen again if we choose to have more children like this time, felt like this is the big test to see.
• 44:06
  Devon: Right, like the first, we know what happened, but maybe subsequent ones will be better.
• 44:11
  Devon: And now I I sort of have this feeling of I have to be prepared, if there's a third, that I'll probably transfer again.
• 44:19
  Angela: And I, who knows, maybe that's not true, but that's definitely the feeling that I have was there anything that came up in your postpartum visits when you were talking about how this all unfolded?
• 44:31
  Angela: Was your baby in a funny position.
• 44:34
  Devon: No, my understanding is that the thinking is just that the scar tissue wasn't as strong as normal tissue would be, and so my first had been this funky thing he did at birth and this one her position was totally normal, like she was.
• 44:53
  Devon: You know, they said they were worried when I was having all that back labor that maybe she was sunny side up, but she wasn't.
• 44:59
  Devon: She had came out pretty smoothly and was smaller, like it wasn't a big baby situation.
• 45:06
  Devon: I think it was just that the scar tissue wasn't as strong, and so the only thing we talked about that could potentially help is maybe like bigger spacing between kids.
• 45:17
  Devon: That couldn't hurt, not necessarily that it would cure everything, but that maybe waiting three years between kids or four years between kids might help that tissue be a little stronger.
• 45:27
  Devon: But I haven't done much of a dive into thinking about it yet.
• 45:31
  Devon: I think right now we're just sort of enjoying the second baby and we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
• 45:38
  Devon: But no, I think her position was pretty good.
• 45:43
  Angela: So what did she end up weighing?
• 45:45
  Angela: Because you went to that ultrasound right before you gave birth and you said they were estimating about eight pounds, and yeah, so what was her weight at birth?
• 45:52
  Devon: Yeah, so they had said she was eight pounds six ounces a week before she was born and she was born at 714.
• 46:02
  Angela: A week later, after the ultrasound?
• 46:05
  Angela: Yeah, now, as a final question, if you were to give advice to someone who's expecting, or even new parents, at this point in your journey, what's the biggest thing that you would want to share?
• 46:14
  Angela: I?
• 46:15
  Devon: mean, it's nothing earth shattering, but, I think, just choosing your care providers wisely.
• 46:20
  Devon: I'm really grateful to have had the midwives that I had for both my births and just to feel so like loved and supported and cared for.
• 46:31
  Devon: And it's, you know, having transferred now twice and and felt the difference in the care like just such a dramatic shift, like I was saying, to go from from home, where they're like bringing me soup and just being really doting and loving and taking care of my whole family, to that different environment where, granted, I don't have a relationship with those providers at all, but it just reinforces to me how important it is to feel like you're on the same page and that you don't have to advocate for yourself so much when you have the right people, so much when you have the right people right.
• 47:13
  Devon: I feel like I knew what I wanted at the hospital in terms of pain relief, in terms of getting to hold my baby, but it was really hard, even knowing what I wanted, to push back in those moments.
• 47:23
  Devon: They would tell me, okay, give the baby to dad.
• 47:27
  Devon: And I knew I didn't want to.
• 47:29
  Devon: But I also just didn't have the energy to fight it and didn't want to be the difficult patient and I know that with my midwives I wouldn't have to do that right, that they would always keep the baby with me if it was possible, and so I think just finding someone that you don't have to convince of what you want or need is really important, and this time around we've also found a different pediatrician.
• 47:58
  Devon: Like I said, I knew that with birth I wanted a care provider that aligned with our thoughts and feelings on birth, but we didn't have a pediatrician that was quite aligned with us and we found a different one this time around.
• 48:11
  Devon: That's just made a really big difference and we didn't realize, like, how much we didn't like our old one, I guess, um, until we had this new one.
• 48:22
  Devon: That feels like we're on the same page and they were really great about um having home birth clients, and so they know that the midwives are taking care of the baby through 12 weeks, so we didn't have to bring her in like days after birth.
• 48:36
  Devon: We were able to wait a little bit longer, which was nice as you're trying to recover and not be out of the house.
• 48:43
  Devon: So I think I would recommend to all new parents to try to find a pediatrician as well.
• 48:49
  Devon: As you know birth and pregnancy care that aligns with with what you're looking for yeah, it's really so important.
• 48:59
  Angela: Like you don't want to have to fight your way through birth, you know, like advocating for every little thing that you want and same thing when you are taking your young kids to the doctor, like you don't want to do that.
• 49:10
  Angela: Do you care who your pediatrician is?
• 49:14
  Devon: It's Waterboro Village Pediatrics.
• 49:16
  Devon: We have Alex Lang, their pediatrician.
• 49:20
  Devon: But yeah, it was great.
• 49:21
  Devon: They told us that you can come in whenever you're ready, which was nice.
• 49:25
  Devon: It wasn't like you have to wait until 12 weeks.
• 49:27
  Devon: I think we actually brought her in around two weeks.
• 49:29
  Devon: My husband wanted.
• 49:34
  Devon: He felt like we should establish it earlier, but it was just nice not to have the pressure right Like we could have waited.
• 49:37
  Devon: We could have brought her in earlier.
• 49:38
  Devon: So one little complication was she had a infantile hemangioma on her lip which I had never heard of and the midwife saw it at a postpartum visit because it develops around two weeks old.
• 49:54
  Devon: I think at 11 days hers started to appear and they recommended we see the pediatrician.
• 50:00
  Devon: So we went in and we're sent to Maine Med and have been dealing with that.
• 50:04
  Devon: But otherwise she's been great.
• 50:08
  Angela: Well, thank you so much, Devin, for taking the time to chat with me today and share your birth story.
• 50:12
  Angela: It's such a pleasure chatting with you.
• 50:14
  Angela: Yeah, you too.
• 50:15
  Angela: Thank you.
• 50:18
  Angela: Before you go, I just want to remind you I have a ton of resources for pregnancy and birth.
• 50:23
  Angela: If you're pregnant, whether you're a first-time mom or if this is your fifth baby.
• 50:28
  Angela: I want you to check out the show notes, because I have some free trainings and free downloads that you can sign up for, as well as the link to access my labor of love, a comprehensive, self-paced online childbirth education course.
• 50:41
  Angela: I created this course specifically for moms who don't want to be told what to do, regardless of where you're birthing or who you're birthing with, and I'd honestly love to teach you everything that I know so that you can prepare for an autonomous birth experience and prepare to step into your role as the leader of your birth journey.
• 51:00
  Angela: So click to the show notes, check out all of those links and, if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at my main birth over on Instagram.