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Ashley Langer - Building Community · She’s Smart

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Hey, everybody. Welcome to She's Smart, the podcast where we connect,
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learn, and laugh with incredible women who inspire us with their journeys,
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passions, and expertise.
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I'm your host, Maria Robotham. On today's episode, I have Ashley Langer,
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a powerhouse community builder, event strategist, and networking expert with
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over 15 years of experience.
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Ashley is the founder of Business Socialistas, a platform that helps businesses
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elevate their brands, foster thriving communities, and connect on a deeper level.
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Ashley's all about turning connections into collaborations.
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And today, she's sharing her journey, her strategies, and the power of building a strong community.
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So get cozy as we connect, learn, and laugh together on She's Smart.
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I'm good. I'm excited to be here. Thank you for having me.
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I'm so glad that you said yes and that you're here because I know you in a way,
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but I don't really know you because we just started knowing each other the last
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couple of years when you started Business Socialista. Although I feel like I've always known you.
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Isn't that funny? Yeah. I feel like we're friends. Well, we are. We are.
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Even though we don't get to see each other much. I do feel connected to you.
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I love that. Yeah. I want you to feel connected to me. That's important.
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You have a way of doing that with people, though.
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That's right. In general. You're just very warm and...
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Present when you're with people. You're not one of those people who,
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when you're talking to someone, they're like, I'm gazing my eyes over for those who can't see me.
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Like kind of looking for the next person to chat with.
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You're not like that. Thank you. It's a very endearing thing because not many people engage that way.
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What you do because you literally bring people together constantly.
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So I would think that in your mind, you're like, okay, we got to talk to this
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person, this person, but you don't come across like that.
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Thank you. And it's funny because I feel like business socialistas is truly
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like an arm of me. It's just part of me.
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It's a business that started easily and almost by accident just because it is an extension of who I am.
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I was reading another article that you were in because I do a little background.
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I'm not an investigative journalist, so let's be real here. I go like three steps away from you.
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And in the article, you mentioned that you, on a whim...
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Moved to New York City and became a personal assistant.
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Can you give us a little background on what that whim was?
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Yes. And a little bit about what you did, because I think it really serves you
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and what you do now with events and everything.
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In January 2007, worked at Mohegan Sun in Connecticut for over two years.
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I started as their maitre d' in the steakhouse. This is when it was like the
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hottest place to be. Amazing.
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And then I was their accounting assistant. So after I graduated college,
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I became their accounting assistant and I used to count cash literally in a closet.
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And like, do you have the machine to do it?
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I had the machine and it was all sorts of reconciliation and the player points
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and I had to find the discrepancies if there was any.
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Were you tracking like the big rollers and stuff? Yeah. Well,
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not as much, but that's part of it just because they do more with points and
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stuff. And then it was like accounts payable, accounts receivable.
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So I did that. But my days off were like Tuesday, Wednesday,
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because during the week, it's a high time at the casino.
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I couldn't have those days off. So I used to work literally nine to five during the weekends.
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And then sometimes I would just stay and work the door, help plan events.
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It was kind of like the major deal. I can't work weekends anymore.
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I'm over it. I'm over the casino life.
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I started working for a bank as a regional assistant helping oversee a group of bank branches.
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I worked there for three months and they laid me off. They were like,
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first in, first out, we're redoing the company. We're really sorry.
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And I was like, oh my God, now what am I going to do? I had a friend who had
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recently moved to New York City.
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She's like, why don't you come and you can stay in my apartment?
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I was like, okay. And even though I had only worked for the bank for three months,
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they gave me a severance package of a couple months.
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I think it was like three months. So it gave me the flexibility because it's
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a job finding a job. So I was like, okay. I left my apartment.
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I moved to New York City. I lived in bunk beds.
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Amazing. Got to do what you got to do. As wide as the bed. You could almost touch wall to wall.
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And then I searched for a job. I got a job as a personal assistant for a news anchor in New York City.
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It was a cool job. I didn't work out of her home, but her husband owned a private equity company.
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My office was in the private equity company. A nice office then. Yes.
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So I had a nice office. I had office life. I had office perks. I had a 401.
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I had a bonus, like all those things that you don't usually get in a personal
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assistant position. Yeah. I love this parallel.
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We have so many parallel things that have happened.
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I was a personal assistant. It was my first job when I moved to New York City.
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I lived with my best friend.
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In her apartment with three other roommates, and I slept on the couch.
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The roommates were like, okay, Maria, we love you, but this has got to end. I'm like, I know.
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So then ended up moving into an apartment. Attempted at all these different
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places, and I got this personal assistant job for this gentleman who was 28 years old, and I was 25.
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It was out of his home. Who was this guy? See, he was.
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I won't name names. What kind of person was he? A really good friend of mine
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who listens to the podcast. I met her because she was his salesperson.
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And she worked out of his office too.
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The two of us commiserated and had this life together.
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I was this person doing all the things, getting the groceries,
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errands, all that stuff.
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It is a grind as a personal assistant. But you do it. We move forward, but it's tiring.
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Personal assistant. It's tiring.
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I had two phones. Did you have two phones? No, I just used my phone.
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But at that point, it was a BlackBerry, I think. Definitely. I had two BlackBerrys.
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But I do miss the BlackBerry. Do you miss the typing on the BlackBerry?
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I do miss the typing on the BlackBerry.
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You were doing this, Bristleston, but you were also doing events for them.
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You were parties, lots of it. So she was always hosting something.
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I helped with two bar mitzvahs. We did birthday parties, dinners.
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She was a socialite. I was hosting Tori Birch, Eric Ellenbogen,
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Seinfeld, all the Upper Seasiders.
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That's amazing. Cynthia McFadden, anyone in the news world. It was fun,
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but it was a lot of pressure. She hated me.
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Well, you're beautiful. I think she hated anyone in that seat. She hated me.
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How did you just decide you were done with it and ready to do something else?
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She would only communicate with me via email.
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Are you serious? Wow. How long did the person before you last?
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She was there a long time.
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She was there maybe five years, which is a long time in the personal assistant
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world when you're working for someone like that. That is very long. That is grueling.
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Oh, my gosh. Yeah. And I left. I was like, I want to just do something more corporate.
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I didn't want it to be so personal. Well, you're in their business.
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She's nice and nice about me being in her business. But she needed you there.
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She loved me, but wanted to hate me.
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It was an emotional roller coaster. I'm working weekends. I'm working nights.
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I'm blamed for everything. I miss my college graduation because of it.
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I graduated top of my class from the Fashion Institute, got an award, and I missed it.
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I had to. I believe you. I feel like personal assistants, like,
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is there a book on this? Who's writing the memoir? You are.
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You're writing the memoir. I'll add in a couple of things, but you're writing
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the memoir. Like, someone's got to write that memoir because the anecdotes are crazy.
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But I will say, going back to corporate life, because then I went to corporate
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life afterwards, same as you.
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That grind, at least when we were living in the city, because I lived there
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from 2005 until 2014, so around the same time as you, that grind was serious.
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There was none of this mental health day.
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I worked at a huge hedge fund as the accounting assistant for seven years. You're insane.
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This is so not what I see from you, accounting assistant.
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No, but this is the funny thing. What were you wearing to work every day,
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Maria? I was doing a full fashion blog on the side and you worked.
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There were some nights I was there till 2 a.m. and then had to be back in the office by seven. Yeah.
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And you just did it. It was just what you did. Everyone was doing it at that
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point. I will say my job was nice.
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Oh, that's good. You went from this personal assistant job to a really nice
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finance job. There were seven people in the office.
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We were not the main office. We had team lunches like twice a week.
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We did annual meetings at the Breakers, which I helped plan.
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We went to Vegas once a year. And then also while I was there,
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there was like a 25th year anniversary. They took us all to Miami for the weekend.
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You could bring your husband. They paid for everything.
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It was such a cush job, but I always knew I was meant for more.
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You know what I mean? I was never really fulfilled. I felt like I was meant for more.
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I always felt like I was a star a little bit. And I felt like I was kind of
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just living below my capabilities.
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But because it was such a good job, because I got paid well,
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I worked little, I wasn't doing the all night grind that you hear about.
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It was so much easier than my personal assistant job.
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Everyone was nice to me. We were like, close. It was hard to leave that.
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So I was there eight years. Yeah, but that happens. That happens.
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Where I worked, we were all friends.
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Become family. You become family. When you have a nice group,
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you become family. You went out together on the weekend. Yep.
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You celebrated people's birthdays together.
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Holiday parties. Yeah, the holiday parties were so fun back then.
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I never experienced this kind of life growing up because my dad worked with
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his hands. He made things. And my mom was a teacher.
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So I wasn't aware of this. I saw friends' dads who were suits to work to San
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Francisco and were very businessy.
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But I didn't have that experience. So when I went to this corporate job,
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the first event I went to was the holiday party on the Intrepid in New York City.
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For friends and family in California, hi guys, the Intrepid is a giant battleship
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in the middle of New York City on the West Side Highway in the Hudson.
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It has all of these gorgeous airplanes on top of it that were used in wars and it's historical.
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You walk in there and it's a giant party.
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Like banned. Were you so impressed? I was, didn't know what to do with myself.
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I'm like, what were you wearing? I was wearing a black mini dress. Naturally.
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Black mini dress. Cause I was like, this is LBK. Yeah. This is appropriate.
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I didn't know what else to wear.
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And I didn't know anyone. I knew like two people cause I just started there. Yeah.
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And you walk in and I was like a fish out of water. Like I knew I was fine with
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the people, but what is this life?
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The second year, we took over the American History Museum. Oh, okay.
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It was like crazy, crazy parties. And then there was a huge financial meltdown
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and then we didn't have a party after that. Like 2008.
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Eight. Yeah, that was the crash.
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There was no party then. I think we all just went to a bar and drank.
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That was what we did. But still fun. You're still with the people.
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Those types of jobs you become really comfortable in. They get that.
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I don't think you were ready.
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It's hard to picture it any other way. And looking back at it,
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I don't really know what I would have done.
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So you have New York and you have your first daughter. Yes. And then you make
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your way to Connecticut.
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Yes. And then you move to, what made you choose Fairfield?
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Was it just like the town you guys liked? We loved Fairfield.
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I'm from Old Saybrook, Connecticut. Originally, my family's still there.
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Okay. That's a beautiful space. Old Saybrook. Yeah.
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In the summer. Yeah. Everything just dies in the winter. In the winter there.
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It's unfortunate. because they have potential.
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They do. They do. They just need to light everything up. Lights everywhere. Yeah.
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But in the summer, it really shines. So we spent a lot of time there in the summer.
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My husband's from Long Island. So originally, we were kind of looking at West Chester.
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The taxes are bananas. It wasn't for us. So we started exploring more like Southern
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Connecticut. And then Fairfield's where you dropped. And then we dropped in Fairfield.
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When I had my children, because I'm so passionate about exercise,
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I became a health coach. I became certified in Pilates during the pandemic.
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I had this plan to start a health coaching business, a wellness business that
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was going to focus on really short workouts for moms who has time to drive to
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SoulCycle, workout for 45 minutes, come home, shower.
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It feels like a three-hour ordeal for a 45-minute workout.
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So I'm like, I want to start creating these smaller workouts that are high impact,
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that are Pilates based, and this would be helpful for busy moms and women.
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But you were literally the one who created this and now- It's everywhere.
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This is such a good lesson because I didn't do it. You were ahead of the curve
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on that. I was ahead of the curve.
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When I moved to Connecticut, I felt lost on starting a business.
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I didn't know anyone. I didn't know what to do. I didn't have friends.
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I didn't have anyone to talk to about it. I didn't have any friends that were entrepreneurs.
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So I'm like, let me just start this Instagram account and try to meet people.
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And that was Business Socialist. And it just started.
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Yeah. What was your first event for Business Socialistas?
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It was January 21. I started the Instagram account.
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I hosted my first networking event in June of 21.
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And how many people were there? A hundred. I sold a hundred tickets.
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A hundred tickets. In the pandemic.
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In the pandemic. And at that time, people were craving in-person connection.
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People wanted to get out of their houses. I also think I was ahead of the curve
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on this, where I think a lot of people were so used to networking being boring.
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You sat down in a coffee shop next to, who knows, trying to cultivate conversation,
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stuck in your seat with a bagel and stale coffee. It wasn't fun.
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I want it to feel like a girl's night out where we are night outing,
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but we're also going to have meaning behind it, where we're going to meet other
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like-minded women who are starting businesses and are in the same faces life
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of us, but like, let's dress up.
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Let's have a fun aspect to it. And I learned something along the way.
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That was where it started. That's how it started.
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And your last big event, I didn't make, I was at the one in Fairfield.
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How many people were at that one?
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I sold 200 tickets. I could have sold more. I cut it off at 200.
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There's always extra people in the room, photographers, videographers,
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me, the speakers, who the speakers bring. There's always a little extra. Your vendors.
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Exactly. They bring people, but you also get a little bit of a no-show rate, right?
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So it kind of lands you. So what brought you, when you were first doing it,
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you just had people paying for the event itself.
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Yeah. So what brought you to this, the membership part of it?
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Because I am a proud member of Business Socialistas and have met many amazing
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entrepreneurs through it.
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And a lot of my friends who are entrepreneurs are in it.
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And it's just this great community of women.
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If you need something, you launch it into the atmosphere of business socialistas
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and someone's bound to reply to it. It's great.
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Thank you. So what brought you to the membership platform? Well,
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I was hosting events like workshops and networking events, and I'm like,
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okay, but what's happening in between these events, right?
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How am I going to better connect this community so that it's not just,
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you know, you meet someone at a networking event, you don't meet the whole room.
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So how am I going to better connect this community?
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I started a membership where it's just more connection, more intimate meetups, education.
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Resources, and a way for people, like you said, if you need something,
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if you have a question, you have this backbone behind you for it.
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I've been members, I've been a member of other mom like well there was a mom's
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group but that was more for kids and then there was a group that brought women
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who were moms and working together they never did anything for me personally
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in my business some of it felt contrived.
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Didn't like that aspect of it. It didn't feel natural. It didn't feel like I wanted to be there.
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Whereas your events, I'm like, crap, I can't make it.
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I get really frustrated because I want to be there and be a part of it.
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And I think that's something that you do that's very special and how you run these.
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You don't get that everywhere. I've done many of these things.
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I've been a part of them and yours never feels like that.
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I never get to tell you this. That's nice. It doesn't. And people want to be
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there because of the atmosphere and the community that you've created.
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Thank you. It's all very supportive at talking. I think we attract who we are and that's part of it.
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And I think that Socialistas has never really been about anything other than community.
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And I think what you see a lot of times is people who are real estate agents
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or, you know, a different profession. I don't mean to, you know,
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put down real estate agents.
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That's just one that comes to mind. And then they start these other groups on
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the side and it's their side thing. And with the hopes that it yields into their
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main thing is what I've noticed is very common.
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And this is my only thing. This is what it's all about is creating community
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and giving the socialistas the support that they need so that they can live and feel their best.
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And you do events, but you're also doing work days where you can go into a certain
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place and work together. Co-working. Co-working.
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You're also bringing in experts who will have an hour-long conversation with
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whoever can join in, giving them tidbits of help.
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Just giving it to them. That part's crazy.
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But it's also so beneficial to not only your organization, but also the people
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that are giving their expertise.
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I think people like to talk about what they know.
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Yes. And it's a great opportunity for a lot of the experts to come in and talk
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about what they're doing, because these are potential customers for them,
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is a collaboration that is mutually beneficial for both parts.
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Yeah. And it's all very positive.
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There's no swing in it. And it's a judgment-free zone. The people are coming
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in, they're like, this is what I'm giving.
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If you like it, great. There's not some hook in the end. Right.
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Which makes it so much more honest.
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Some of these things are very dishonest and it's frustrating because you want
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to be a part of it and be supportive, but you're also in your back of your mind
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going, what are they going to ask me for in the end? Oh, yeah.
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Those are the worst. I don't want any part of those.
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If I needed it, I'll find it. One of the things I want to touch on today that
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we have been touching on through this whole podcast is the theme of community
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and why people need it and what that does for their businesses or their life.
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We started talking about work culture, which is community. Yep.
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One of the things I want to start doing more of is helping business owners create their own community.
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Community has turned into a buzzword now. Yes. It's almost like, and it's very fluid.
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Like, well, is that follower count? But followers aren't necessarily the ones
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that are your community. Well, that's so interesting.
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There's this article about this blogger who had half a million followers and
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she launched some t-shirt line and she couldn't sell 36 t-shirts.
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That they're not the community. Right. Because they're not connected to her.
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She couldn't sell anything. It really goes to show you that who's going to listen to this podcast.
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Your community. That's where it's going to start. Who comes to my events?
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My community. And I think even for business owners, when they're posting to
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social media and they're like, crickets, why is no one engaging with my posts?
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Why am I trying to host an anniversary event at my office and no one's coming?
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And I think this is such an important thing to think about in our businesses,
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is why aren't they coming and what are you doing about it?
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And I think ultimately, because the world is so congested and foggy and there's
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so much content and creation and we're consuming at such a huge rapid rate,
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I think connection is where things need to go now. They're missing that connection.
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They're missing it. It's so true. People are confused how to create it. Yeah.
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I noticed this too with the schools. You have little girls. Yes.
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They were in elementary school.
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And I have a seventh grader. And at our middle school, we brought in yonder
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pouches, which are these pouches with a magnet.
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And you put all of your devices at the minute you walk in the door in the morning,
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whether it's off the bus or you've been dropped off, they have to put their
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devices in this yonder pouch, magnetize it, show the admin that they've done it.
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And their phone or watch is out of their hands and out of their mind until the
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bell rings at 2.30. It has completely changed the community of the school.
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The kids are actually having conversations with each other. They're forced to, but they're doing it.
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The administration is like, this has been a game changer.
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The kids sit in cafeteria instead of diving on their phone.
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And if they're quiet and not really social, they dive into their phone and they
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just disappear. Well, those kids are able to actually look up and see a face and talk to that person.
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They're talking about stuff. They're playing games. They're chatting at lunch.
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They have started to connect and their community is stronger for it.
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And that is very telling in my mind that they are also craving that connection
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because they don't get it. And I'm a culprit.
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Like my husband puts my phone in the kitchen drawer and he calls that my yonder
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pouch now. And he's like, you're done.
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I need you to communicate with me now. Your phone is in its yonder pouch.
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Our whole lives now are on the phone.
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I mean, we're grocery shopping on the phone. We're banking on the phone.
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It's great. I'm not just chatting all the time. I'm fine.
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Sometimes I'm like working. Yes. I just tell them that too. Family admin.
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I agree. Connecting with others.
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You know, it's so emotional, right?
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Like people even are purchasing from emotions. Yes. I mean, culprit.
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Instagram's really good with their... Well, anything that's getting emotional,
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anything that touches your emotions, you're interacting with and it's pushing it to you. Yeah.
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That makes sense. I get corgis and Australian shepherds and shopping and fashion.
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And moms who have lost their mind and are talking about it on Instagram.
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That's my algorithm. And if you say the word penis enough over and over again,
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something about a penis will pop up. Well, now that you're saying that,
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we're going to get porn on the phone. Absolutely.
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Yeah. It's done it. Well, now it just hears you out in the universe.
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I want to talk about your latest endeavor, which was the Shark Tank.
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I want you to explain how the Shark Tank happened and where it came from.
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So Ashley did a local Shark Tank and had these amazing judges on and four entrepreneurs?
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Five. Oh, five. Five pitching. One of them won the big prize and then one of
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them won the community prize or the fan favorite prize.
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I didn't get to be there because I had another event that night.
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I was so bummed because what an incredible empowering moment,
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not just for you, but for all of the people you put on that stage and gave them
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a platform to talk about what they love and are passionate for.
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And these aren't big businesses. These are all small local women who hustle
22:55
and work hard and don't always get the recognition or the monetary backing.
23:01
And this was an opportunity for them. Yeah. It was a pitch night for local female
23:05
entrepreneurs and there was a $5,000 cash prize that was sponsored by Cakes Body.
23:12
Yes. I was wearing mine yesterday. My cakes.
23:14
I'm in mine right now. I love them. They're great. Shout out to Taylor and Cakes.
23:17
I have all my clients by them.
23:19
It's bananas. They're fantastic. So how did it come to be?
23:23
Two years ago, I was hosting a money workshop and all the girls were pulling
23:26
their cakes out of their bras. And they're like, you're not going to believe this product.
23:30
I'm like, oh my God, I haven't heard of it. They're like, she's a Fairfield girl. I'm like, she is?
23:34
We had a lovely coffee and cakes at the time. It was like two years ago.
23:38
So both of us were starting out.
23:40
You could tell she had a great product and everyone was obsessed with it, but you never know.
23:45
And we kind of kept in touch. And over the years, we've...
23:49
Become friendly. And then she went on Shark Tank.
23:53
And I was so wildly inspired by, and then I think to myself,
23:58
how could we do this locally?
24:00
How can we have this? How can I do it?
24:04
And so the wheel started turning. Then about a year later, I was telling her about it.
24:09
And I was like, I'm going to do this pitch night. I feel so inspired by you.
24:12
And I want to do this. And she was like, oh, let me see if I can get involved.
24:16
She follows up with me and she's like, we'd like to sponsor the $5,000 small business grant.
24:22
I'm like, now I got to do it.
24:24
It was such an inspiring night for everyone.
24:29
I think the judges were inspiring. I think the pitchers blew everyone away.
24:34
I had 50 applications in two weeks.
24:37
People wanted it for all the pitching contestants. It was so much more than just about winning.
24:45
It was about marketing your business to everyone in the room that night,
24:49
making connection, building their community, having whoever follows them on
24:54
social media follow along with the journey, feel more connected to them, showing up.
24:59
People had their brand fans and loyalists in the audience, which was cool.
25:05
And I think we were all so surprised by how well everyone did.
25:13
Not that I thought anyone was going to do bad, but they took it so seriously. They made me so proud.
25:18
And I think it was a great opportunity for everyone involved.
25:22
And I had a speaker there also, Michelle Garside came and she did a connection activity.
25:26
All of my events have connection activities to breed that community because
25:30
you come to a networking event.
25:31
You don't necessarily meet as many people as you'd like. It's hard to break the ice.
25:34
It's hard to talk to someone you don't usually know. So it was great. I do feel good about it.
25:40
Will you do it again? Yes. Yes. Okay, good. I was hoping you'd say that.
25:45
I will. So amazing. Can't wait for the next one.
25:48
I will mark my calendar soon when you have it. I can't figure that out.
25:51
So I know not to do anything that night.
25:53
What's next after this? I want to help more businesses build their own community.
25:58
Because I think that's really where the secret sauce is for success. Yeah.
26:05
And I think that it builds brand fans, loyalists. it's like an automatic referral
26:10
network, right? To have a community.
26:13
And yeah. So that's what's next for me is to do more of that.
26:18
Okay. I love that. At the end of every episode, I ask three questions to all my guests.
26:23
The first question is, is there something that you've changed your mind about recently?
26:28
Yes. I want to say no more. It's a big theme of the last few conversations I've
26:35
had with women. Really? Yes.
26:37
We're getting to the age where our time is in other places, our kids,
26:44
our husbands, our friendships. Our communities.
26:47
Right? Yeah. It's now you're going to create the space to give more to that. Yes.
26:53
I think I also like, even from a business perspective, I used to say yes to
26:58
every coffee, every get together, every event I'm invited to.
27:03
You always feel in the name of growth, you have to say yes to everything.
27:07
But I think I'm trying to be smarter about what I'm saying yes to and do more
27:13
that's aligned for me rather than just like this frantic yes world.
27:19
Absolutely. So which takes, you know, it's not easy. No, it takes years.
27:26
And you're younger than I am. And it takes years to finally get to that point.
27:29
But it's very refreshing and very empowering to be able to do that.
27:32
And then you know when the yes is right because it hits.
27:36
And it feels differently than the yeses that were like, I got to do that. I should be there.
27:40
And really empowering, I think, our listeners to be able to say no.
27:45
Like I want to, you know, I'm really trying to stand in that truth.
27:48
And also I feel like what's happened is you get a lot of like ghosting now.
27:53
Oh, yeah. This whole epidemic, and I had a real go viral on this because I was
27:59
throwing shade out into the world about it, where so many people don't want
28:03
to say no, so they just don't answer.
28:06
Feeling empowered to say no is the right thing to do because whoever's on the
28:12
other end would rather you just respond and be honest. Yes. Right? Absolutely.
28:19
And I feel like if you're doing all the yeses, all of those places are not getting the 100% of you.
28:24
Right. You want to be able, the other person deserves to have the 100% of you
28:28
because they're giving their 100% to whatever they're asked you to be a part of. Yes.
28:31
You got to choose them correctly. Absolutely. That's so true.
28:34
What is the most random thing on your bucket list?
28:38
Oh, I haven't thought about a bucket list much lately. I feel like I'm so in the present.
28:44
I have to be honest. I feel like I am so in the present these days.
28:49
I'm really trying to spend my time with my kids when I'm with my kids.
28:52
I'm trying to focus on my business in the now and not get overwhelmed with what's
28:57
to do or what the future is.
28:59
I'm trying to be now.
29:02
I really am. That is something specifically this fall that I've been doing.
29:08
So I have not been thinking about my bucket list as much as one might think.
29:13
I love that answer. I think that's brilliant.
29:16
I wish that all of us could sit in the now a little bit more.
29:19
A big thing for me this fall is not trying to get overwhelmed with the future
29:22
and all the things I want or need to do, but just like, what are we doing right now?
29:28
Because I think a lot of growth really happens in the small steps. Yeah.
29:32
It's just like about the little steps that turn into the big thing.
29:35
But a lot of times we get so preoccupied with the end result,
29:39
the big thing that it becomes so overwhelming. We never get there.
29:43
It's so good. That's where I am now. So good. I love that. I love that.
29:47
That's the truth. Yeah. That's what it should be. That's what that question should evoke.
29:51
If you have something you really want to do, you answer that.
29:53
If it doesn't, that's the best answer.
29:56
That's the best answer. So my last question is, if you could give your younger
30:01
self one piece of advice, what would it be? Take the risk.
30:05
Follow your gut. Just do the damn thing.
30:10
Like big time. Following my gut is something I've been really focusing on in
30:17
my more recent years. I don't remember my parents emphasizing that enough growing up.
30:24
What do I actually want to do? What is next for me? Everyone...
30:30
Talks about my platform and what I've built, especially after an event like
30:32
that. People are like, what's next for you? What do you do? And I'm like,
30:34
what do I want to do with this? Yeah.
30:37
You know, there's many different things I could do or avenues to take it.
30:41
What is going to excite me the most?
30:43
And sometimes it's hard for me to think about that. Also becoming a mom,
30:47
doing what you think is best for your kid, not what your aunt is saying or your
30:51
friend did with her child.
30:53
It's like really listening to your gut and becoming a mom is what really honed
30:57
down on that for me. Absolutely.
30:59
That gut instinct is real. The feeling there. And I wish I did more following that.
31:05
And like when I knew, for example, I was destined for more professionally,
31:09
I wish I took the leap and I became the instructor or I took the leap and like
31:14
look for another job and did something that wasn't just easy.
31:18
Yeah. There's a difference in I want to do this. I'm scared to do this.
31:23
But this is the right direction.
31:25
And then there's the this doesn't feel
31:28
right this feels icky yeah and those are the
31:30
two things to just to that are discerning you have to figure out
31:33
which side i've been asked to do stuff and i'm like that doesn't
31:36
sit right nope i'm gonna put that one over there but
31:39
this feels right and this is scary this is how the podcast became a podcast
31:44
two years ago yeah i sat with this feeling because i've been doing a lot of
31:49
sitting and creating space yeah for the things i want and attracting because
31:53
i really believe in the universe does things.
31:56
The amount of number ones and twos and combinations over the last two years has been crazy.
32:01
The universe is saying what it needs to tell me.
32:04
And I'm like, this is time. We had coffee. I told you.
32:08
And then, oh my God, never to go do this. You posted something about having an idea and not doing it.
32:14
And then you had a speaker about getting your idea to actually come to fruition.
32:19
When you wrote that, I was like, Fuck.
32:22
Talking to you. This is me. We just had coffee. And I told you I wanted to do
32:27
a podcast. And I haven't done it yet.
32:29
That sat with me. And I really liked that because my girlfriends were like –.
32:34
You're going to do it. And I'm like, nervous. There's so many out there.
32:37
What's mine going to be? It's like you get all the negativity that's just like
32:41
smacking you in the face. And then I was like, fuck it.
32:45
Yeah. Let's just do it. I have an idea. I went to dinner and we were all drunk
32:51
on martinis. It was a fabulous steak dinner.
32:54
And I'm sitting at the table and I was like, guys, I'm starting a podcast.
32:58
And they were all like, yes, what are we calling it?
33:02
One of my friends was like, I'm going to fund you. I'm like,
33:04
oh my God, I love you. We've all
33:05
had too many martinis. No one's going to fund me. But they all felt it.
33:09
Sometimes saying it out loud is so powerful.
33:12
We all have these thoughts that we think about and sit on, but when you really
33:18
speak them out into the universe, it holds you accountable.
33:22
And then if it's right, the universe started sending me random signs all the time.
33:29
I remember texting Anne from 1111 and I was sending her pictures of the numbers
33:33
all together in a row. And she'd send me stars.
33:36
Because there's something about it. The universe knows. It's true.
33:39
And the God knows. You just have to listen to it. Well, that's why you need
33:42
your community, like your friends, right? Where you're telling them what you're
33:44
doing and they're giving you that positive reinforcement.
33:46
Like, this is a good idea. And you're talking about names. And it's like, okay, this is hitting.
33:52
People are excited. And it helps.
33:55
Yeah. So how does your husband support you?
33:59
You have two beautiful little girls. How is the support there?
34:04
I think he loves it. You know, he loves that I have my own thing in a supportive type of way.
34:10
I think he's really supportive. I think he's proud of me. Yeah.
34:13
Comes to all my events. He's like him and my dad. Oh, I love dads.
34:17
So cute. Are always like the only men in the room, which is sweet.
34:21
And yeah, I think he's excited. I think he is happy to see me do something that
34:27
I love and am enthusiastic about. Yeah.
34:30
You need that support at home. Yeah, you do. He listens to my ideas,
34:34
sometimes more passionately than I do.
34:40
Just being honest. Seriously. Sometimes you're like, oh, okay,
34:43
Ash. Like, you know, he listens to the ideas. Ben here listens to every podcast.
34:47
That's nice. Yeah. He listens to every podcast, tells you what he thinks. Yeah.
34:51
It's super sweet. Super sweet. He indulges me. Yeah, and I'm sure you do the same for him. I do.
34:57
He listens to everything he has. I'm very invested in Adam's business,
35:00
emotionally and mentally.
35:02
I always listen. I'm also very curious because what Ben does is he analyzes retail for a living.
35:07
Oh, he does? Yeah, he's a retail person. You guys are retail people.
35:10
Yeah, our first fight was over JCPenney. No.
35:15
What about JCPenney? What is there to fight with? This was many years ago.
35:18
This was when all the JCPennys were still around. Yeah.
35:21
And we were on the train back from Rhode Island. He was looking at JCPenney,
35:26
and I'm like, oh, that company. Forget it. It's going downhill.
35:29
Nobody shops there. And he goes, what do you mean nobody shops there?
35:31
I'm like, no one, it's done. He goes, I disagree with you.
35:35
And we were both right because it lasted a little bit longer,
35:40
but then it completely fell apart.
35:41
We were both right. It's important to have that sense of support in your house
35:44
because it would be very difficult.
35:46
Our professions take up such a huge part of our lives. I'm not working nine
35:51
to five, 40 hours a week right now, but think about that time consumption,
35:55
it monopolizes your brain.
35:56
Adam is also an entrepreneur and owns his own business. You don't really shut
35:59
these things off. Our businesses are our passions. So we're always thinking about them.
36:04
One of the things that surprises me most about being an entrepreneur is how
36:09
much I think about my business.
36:11
Absolutely. Right? Like, I don't think when I started this, I was going to be
36:15
so consumed on a mental level about what I'm doing and analyzing myself and
36:22
not necessarily always in a bad way, but like,
36:24
how am I going to make it better next time Shark Tank was such a success? I agree.
36:29
But don't think that I'm not like, well, I would have done this a little bit differently.
36:32
And next time we're going to
36:33
do this instead. And how can I make this go faster? You know what I mean?
36:38
And it's not like I'm possessed or depressed, but I am thinking about it all
36:41
the time. All the time. I joke about the brain capacity.
36:45
When I'm asked about something, I honestly don't have the brain capacity today to think about it.
36:51
Can you give me till tomorrow to put my brain into that closet?
36:54
Adam says, he's like, it's not that I don't want to help you,
36:56
but right now, mentally, I just know that I can't.
36:59
My brain is filled. I'm like, but I need you to tell me right now.
37:03
And he's like, just give me, I just need a day. just need 12 hours.
37:08
I mean, I respect the answer. No.
37:09
I like that though. The brain capacity is, it's amazing how much we use it and don't think about it.
37:15
Like this is amazing. Thanks for having me. Did you have fun? Okay, good.
37:20
It goes by so fast. You've been talking for an hour. Is that true?
37:23
Yeah. You know me, I'll talk you someone's ear off. I'll never stop.
37:28
Thank you so much for joining me today on She's Smart. New episodes drop every Thursday.
37:34
Don't forget to subscribe and share. Stay cozy.