Latest / The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show / Episode 42, Season 2: Beyond the Alpha Mindset: The Psychology of Self-Awareness and Success with Dave Rossi

Transcript

Episode 42, Season 2: Beyond the Alpha Mindset: The Psychology of Self-Awareness and Success with Dave Rossi · The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show

0:11
Speaker 1: Welcome to the LOVEDOC podcast. I'm your co host Erna
0:14
Speaker 1: Butcher here with our host, doctor Sarah Hensley, the owner, founder,
0:18
Speaker 1: and CEO of the LOVEDC relationship coaching services. You can
0:21
Speaker 1: find her at the lovedoc dot com or on any
0:24
Speaker 1: social media handle at doctor Sarah Hensley. Hello, Hi, how
0:28
Speaker 1: are you.
0:28
Speaker 2: I'm good.
0:29
Speaker 1: I'm excited for our guests today. I am super excited
0:32
Speaker 1: to Dave Rossy. He is a Silicon Valley entrepreneur, coach,
0:35
Speaker 1: and author known for blending personal transformation with leadership and
0:39
Speaker 1: mindful living. Early in his career, he built and led
0:42
Speaker 1: successful companies generating multi million dollar revenues. Yet he found
0:46
Speaker 1: external success hollow without inner fulfillment. So he's written some books.
0:52
Speaker 1: We're going to talk about some really interesting things today,
0:54
Speaker 1: including modern masculinity, and doctor Hensley's going to tie in
0:58
Speaker 1: some science behind that. But welcome Dave. It's so good
1:01
Speaker 1: to have you.
1:02
Speaker 2: Welcome.
1:03
Speaker 3: Thank you so much. I really I'm happy to be
1:05
Speaker 3: here and both of you are just your radio voices
1:09
Speaker 3: are just amazing.
1:09
Speaker 1: Oh thank you. Actually working with radio for about eight years,
1:14
Speaker 1: I worked at iHeart and so Oh Cool. I actually
1:17
Speaker 1: recorded a lot of things during that time, So thank you.
1:21
Speaker 1: So Dave, just tell our listeners just a little bit
1:23
Speaker 1: about you, really, I just want, I want to know
1:25
Speaker 1: your story, and I know that you have kind of
1:28
Speaker 1: a rising from the ashes, similar to doctor Hensley. Everybody
1:32
Speaker 1: has a testimony, and everybody's testimony has so much merit,
1:35
Speaker 1: and so we want to hear that first and foremost.
1:38
Speaker 3: Yes, Wow, I'll try to give the short version, well
1:43
Speaker 3: both of you short, but get the points in. I
1:46
Speaker 3: looked back at my life and I said, how does
1:48
Speaker 3: somebody who has a lot of talent, who has a
1:52
Speaker 3: great work ethic, that paid attention and took risks I
1:55
Speaker 3: started companies? How did I feel so miserably like why
1:58
Speaker 3: am I in this position of having so many natural gifts?
2:01
Speaker 3: And then literally I had a re emerging disc injury
2:05
Speaker 3: my back, so I was about to have back surgery.
2:08
Speaker 3: I was not speaking to my parents, who I was
2:10
Speaker 3: really close with most of my life. I was in
2:13
Speaker 3: a long term marriage seventeen years with someone that exhibited
2:17
Speaker 3: the behaviors. I'm not a doctor, but I would say,
2:20
Speaker 3: knowing what I know now, they were malignic, narcissistic behaviors.
2:24
Speaker 3: So my codependency fell right into that that kind of
2:29
Speaker 3: you know, I don't want to say trap, but I'm
2:31
Speaker 3: taking accountability for it. But I'm saying that it was
2:33
Speaker 3: a perfect match of of those those bonds. And then
2:39
Speaker 3: our business was just not equipped to handle that relationship.
2:43
Speaker 3: We owned this business together, and so failed health. I
2:46
Speaker 3: was fifty pounds here than I am now. I was
2:49
Speaker 3: on blood pressure medication and about to have back surgery,
2:52
Speaker 3: and my best friend from like third grade had died
2:54
Speaker 3: in an accident, and so literally I was like holding
2:58
Speaker 3: ashes of my life and I lived said what have
3:00
Speaker 3: I done wrong? I need to hit reset. There's something
3:02
Speaker 3: I'm missing in life to try so hard to get
3:04
Speaker 3: to the opposite place. And that's what I did. I
3:07
Speaker 3: basically crashed. I got divorced. I went downstairs and said
3:09
Speaker 3: I'm done, goodbye, And I lost everything. I lost my house,
3:16
Speaker 3: I lost my business. She wouldn't send me her half,
3:19
Speaker 3: she wouldn't buy my half. So I shut the business down,
3:21
Speaker 3: one hundred and thirty employee business kind of just gone
3:25
Speaker 3: and started over. And I have no regrets.
3:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you and you had children together too, right?
3:30
Speaker 3: Three children? Yeah? I have a twenty three year old,
3:33
Speaker 3: a twenty year old, and a seventeen year old daughter.
3:35
Speaker 3: She lives with me, and she has since the eighth grade.
3:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I know that from these ashes and rising again,
3:42
Speaker 1: you've you created this philosophy and these core beliefs, and
3:47
Speaker 1: I want you to talk a little bit more about that,
3:49
Speaker 1: because I know this is kind of what led you
3:52
Speaker 1: to write your books and where you are now and
3:55
Speaker 1: your new thriving business. So just tell us a little
3:58
Speaker 1: bit a bit more about that too. Well.
4:00
Speaker 3: I think, you know, in the high pressure environment of
4:04
Speaker 3: masculinity but also Silicon Valley, I certainly was missing something
4:09
Speaker 3: and the pressure, you know, creates an absence of clarity,
4:12
Speaker 3: I would say, And so I set out to find
4:17
Speaker 3: out what I was missing, and I just started reading.
4:19
Speaker 3: I was not a reader, but I guess when you
4:21
Speaker 3: become so low that you know, Lookdally, I said this
4:24
Speaker 3: my first book. I would wash my hair with tomato
4:26
Speaker 3: juice if someone said that would help. I was so
4:29
Speaker 3: low and so desperate I wouldnt anything. And so I
4:31
Speaker 3: started like picking up these books and I would not
4:35
Speaker 3: read another sentence until they understood the sentence that I
4:38
Speaker 3: just read. And that was hard because these are you know,
4:42
Speaker 3: Ecker Tolly books, The Power of Now and these, you know,
4:44
Speaker 3: very standard books, but it really led me to do
4:47
Speaker 3: more and more and more and get deeper and deeper.
4:49
Speaker 3: And being kind of this high pressure person, this early
4:52
Speaker 3: athletic drive that I had was a lot of my
4:56
Speaker 3: training came in just keep going deeper. And so I
4:58
Speaker 3: started lining up consistencies of a Potangily and a Buddhist
5:03
Speaker 3: and a Power of Now and a David Hawkins and
5:06
Speaker 3: a Nietzsche, and I started seeing the similarities and going wow, like,
5:10
Speaker 3: I can't believe I live life this long and didn't
5:13
Speaker 3: know any of this existed. Why didn't someone tell me?
5:17
Speaker 3: I was like so upset, like I can't believe that
5:19
Speaker 3: I've lived life. And this is kind of why I failed,
5:21
Speaker 3: is I was in pursuit of so many things for
5:23
Speaker 3: the wrong reasons, and so and now I've done more
5:26
Speaker 3: and more work, I really see a lot of connection
5:29
Speaker 3: to neuroscience. So I'm really obviously very happy to be
5:31
Speaker 3: here with doctor Hensley to see the neuroscience piece of it,
5:35
Speaker 3: because my understanding is very experiential and through kind of
5:39
Speaker 3: the novelty side. But I know there's a lot of
5:41
Speaker 3: science to this, and so that's kind of how I
5:43
Speaker 3: got here.
5:44
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think about the ego right when you're talking
5:48
Speaker 1: specifically when it comes to doesn't necessarily have to do
5:52
Speaker 1: with masculinity, but the you know, I think that when
5:56
Speaker 1: life hits us hard, it's really this hit to the
5:59
Speaker 1: ego and we have to start questioning the ego and
6:02
Speaker 1: we kind of have to let the ego die in
6:04
Speaker 1: order to really build up this new version of ourselves.
6:07
Speaker 1: And I know that there's got to be some science
6:08
Speaker 1: behind the ego, So Doc, can you hit on that
6:11
Speaker 1: a little bit? I know I'm kind of putting you
6:12
Speaker 1: on the spot.
6:13
Speaker 4: I mean, you know, we have the d the ego,
6:16
Speaker 4: the super ego if you really want to go like
6:17
Speaker 4: Freudian about it, and you know, the ego is very
6:22
Speaker 4: protective of self, protected of self identity, protective of core beliefs,
6:27
Speaker 4: even if those core beliefs are not accurate.
6:30
Speaker 2: Or they're negative.
6:32
Speaker 4: And yeah, I think moving past your ego is really important.
6:38
Speaker 4: And of course there's there's a super ego, which is
6:41
Speaker 4: more of your your conscience, like you're you're directive of
6:47
Speaker 4: what you should be doing, what's for the greater good,
6:51
Speaker 4: and you know, those things clash and you know, Dave,
6:56
Speaker 4: you mentioned a neuroscience perspective and just what you're talking
6:59
Speaker 4: about in terms of mindfulness and conscious awareness, especially the
7:04
Speaker 4: et Caart Toll and like the Power of Now in
7:06
Speaker 4: the Present Moment. I mean that book was very impactful
7:08
Speaker 4: for me as well. It has to do with this
7:12
Speaker 4: idea that mindfulness is only a state that we can
7:16
Speaker 4: achieve when our nervous system feels safe enough to be
7:20
Speaker 4: in the present moment. Because when we're in the present moment,
7:22
Speaker 4: then we're connected to our body, our brain and body
7:24
Speaker 4: or connected together, and oftentimes we're in a state of
7:29
Speaker 4: sympathetic activity or dorsal veagel shut down or a blended
7:32
Speaker 4: state of those things which pulls us out of the
7:35
Speaker 4: present moment and actually dissociates us from our body where
7:38
Speaker 4: our feelings live. Our feelings live in our body, and
7:41
Speaker 4: so our brain learns to be afraid to be connected
7:43
Speaker 4: to our body. But then if we're not connected to
7:45
Speaker 4: our body, we're not present. And so I think it's
7:49
Speaker 4: important to recognize that when we're not connected to our body,
7:52
Speaker 4: and when we're dissociated and we're projecting into the future,
7:56
Speaker 4: we're dissociated and immersed in a task and not really
7:59
Speaker 4: mind full of the present, we can't experience joy and
8:03
Speaker 4: we can't be truly attuned to the people around us,
8:06
Speaker 4: And so being in the present moment definitely is something
8:11
Speaker 4: that Jesus taught me, and I think that he says,
8:14
Speaker 4: you know, take no thought for tomorrow.
8:15
Speaker 2: There's a reason that.
8:18
Speaker 4: So many of these spiritual practices, whether it's Christianity or Buddhism,
8:22
Speaker 4: focus on mindfulness and focus on staying in the present,
8:25
Speaker 4: because the whole sort of power of now mantra is
8:29
Speaker 4: if it's not happening right now, it's not happening. And
8:32
Speaker 4: so why are our brains occupied with the past and
8:35
Speaker 4: the future so much when the past is gone and
8:38
Speaker 4: the present or the future hasn't been written yet, and
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Speaker 4: all that literally exists is now, and when we're not
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Speaker 4: connected to it, time is passing us by where we're
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Speaker 4: not a part of it.
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Speaker 1: And I'm assuming, Dave, Yeah, I just yeah, I was
8:52
Speaker 1: just going to say, I'm assuming that this is kind
8:54
Speaker 1: of where what you were faced with and with what
8:58
Speaker 1: you were going through.
9:00
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I had three kids, and I was
9:03
Speaker 3: a provider of them and took them to school every morning,
9:05
Speaker 3: and I wanted to be so present that I had
9:08
Speaker 3: a practice of watching the words come out of their
9:11
Speaker 3: mouth so I could understand and be so present and
9:15
Speaker 3: connect with them and not worry about the lawsuit with
9:18
Speaker 3: the labor unions, the lawsuit with the job we didn't finish,
9:20
Speaker 3: or the foreclosure in the house that secured the debt
9:23
Speaker 3: of the business. I wanted to not let those things
9:26
Speaker 3: distract my car ride, because that wouldn't be present, to
9:29
Speaker 3: be spinning on a lawsuit when I'm driving my kids
9:32
Speaker 3: to school. And I think one of the things that
9:34
Speaker 3: really helped me was to understand that being present also
9:38
Speaker 3: meant letting go of the past and letting go of identity.
9:41
Speaker 3: And so I would make it a practice to say,
9:43
Speaker 3: my failure does not define me. My business collapsing doesn't
9:47
Speaker 3: define me. So don't let that identity creep into my present.
9:50
Speaker 3: I don't have to present myself to the world as
9:53
Speaker 3: somebody who failed, because that would be an identity and
9:57
Speaker 3: it's actually what I had to go through to emerge
9:59
Speaker 3: as a person. But that was a practice. And you know,
10:02
Speaker 3: we did sell part of our company. I would have
10:05
Speaker 3: to go into these meetings and they would kind of
10:07
Speaker 3: laugh at me, Oh, you couldn't make payroll your business failed,
10:11
Speaker 3: and I just say to myself, you know, it doesn't
10:13
Speaker 3: define me and it doesn't make any difference. It's a fact.
10:17
Speaker 3: So as just move on from the emotional side of it.
10:19
Speaker 3: So understand that being present was really important in an
10:22
Speaker 3: identity perspective, but also to apply it. If it didn't
10:26
Speaker 3: apply it, I couldn't live it.
10:28
Speaker 4: Yeah, and we've talked about identity on this podcast and
10:30
Speaker 4: just how psychology has shown in research that identity is
10:36
Speaker 4: so predictive of your life, in your outcomes. And yes,
10:42
Speaker 4: there's some behavioral mediator there where if we identify as somebody,
10:46
Speaker 4: you know, it does affect our behavior, but it affects
10:48
Speaker 4: our perception of life. It affects everything that we attune to,
10:52
Speaker 4: everything that we see, everything that comes across our path.
10:57
Speaker 4: There's a perception of it that ties back to our identity.
11:01
Speaker 4: And so when we were talking about I think what
11:05
Speaker 4: were we talking about. I think it was like building
11:06
Speaker 4: this business and just the psychology of success and successful
11:11
Speaker 4: people identify as successful even if they have failures, and
11:16
Speaker 4: it keeps them going and it keeps them producing more
11:20
Speaker 4: successful outcomes because a failure is a learning opportunity. It's
11:25
Speaker 4: not a defining moment. It's data, and when we view
11:29
Speaker 4: it as data and not as identity, we can then
11:33
Speaker 4: overcome it and become more successful and continue to move
11:35
Speaker 4: in the right direction.
11:36
Speaker 1: That was going to be my next question, you know,
11:38
Speaker 1: because I feel like we can learn so much from you,
11:41
Speaker 1: Dave as a long time you know, you know this
11:47
Speaker 1: being an overachiever. I think an overachieving individual makes it
11:53
Speaker 1: even more difficult sometimes to be present because you're pulled
11:58
Speaker 1: in so many different directions. And of course you know
12:01
Speaker 1: we are. We're still a baby company here at the
12:04
Speaker 1: Love Doc. You know, we're in our infancy. And of
12:09
Speaker 1: course this was not the direction I was planning on going,
12:11
Speaker 1: but gosh, I want to pick your brain, I know, padly,
12:15
Speaker 1: because we are really transitioning right now in this business
12:21
Speaker 1: and it's wild. It's this wild ride and it's so
12:26
Speaker 1: exciting but yet extremely stressful, and I find myself having
12:32
Speaker 1: more and more difficulty being present.
12:35
Speaker 4: Yes, and so talk to us a little bit about
12:39
Speaker 4: first of all, your first book and kind of what's
12:41
Speaker 4: in there and what led to these guiding principles that
12:45
Speaker 4: really changed your life in terms of self mastery and
12:49
Speaker 4: consciousness and mindfulness, and tell us about some of those things, because,
12:55
Speaker 4: as Reina said, we're rapidly scaling, and when when the scale,
13:01
Speaker 4: when the demand, and you know, scale of your business
13:06
Speaker 4: is happening so rapidly, it's really hard to not move
13:10
Speaker 4: through life and feel like balls are just flying at
13:12
Speaker 4: your head all day long. Yes, so tell us about
13:15
Speaker 4: these principles because I think they'll be a good reminder
13:18
Speaker 4: for me of what's really needing to be the fact.
13:22
Speaker 1: And I'm curious, you know, because the imperative habit. You
13:24
Speaker 1: talk about the seven non spiritual practices towards spiritual behavior,
13:28
Speaker 1: and that's my brain goes, oh, well, that's an oxymoron,
13:31
Speaker 1: so tell me more, tell it, tell me more.
13:34
Speaker 3: Well, I think spiritual behavior. And I kind of explained
13:37
Speaker 3: like this. If you're running or exercising and you have
13:40
Speaker 3: lactic acid or your heart rate is up and your
13:42
Speaker 3: skin is your faces as flush, that's feedback that something's occurring.
13:47
Speaker 3: And then your mind says, hey, I'm going to process
13:49
Speaker 3: this feedback and we should stop running. And then a
13:52
Speaker 3: part of you says, hey, wait a minute, no, no, no,
13:54
Speaker 3: we can go farther. Let's keep pushing. This is good
13:57
Speaker 3: for us. So that's the paradox. I call a spiritual
14:00
Speaker 3: behavior is to override the body, and so to me,
14:04
Speaker 3: spiritual behavior takes that process and does the same process
14:08
Speaker 3: with fear, anxiety, doubt, self esteem, worry, all those things.
14:13
Speaker 3: It's the ability to process information at a conscious level
14:17
Speaker 3: and analyze emotions and analyze the belief that trigger those emotions.
14:21
Speaker 3: Kind of an epictetis kind of quote, you know, what's
14:25
Speaker 3: the belief that's causing these emotions, and let's process it.
14:28
Speaker 3: Not call it objective objective reality. Let's process to see
14:32
Speaker 3: what I'm seeing subjectively through the filter of my ego
14:35
Speaker 3: or my false persona. And for me, a contractor, I
14:38
Speaker 3: had to be hit like a contractor. I'd have a
14:39
Speaker 3: drill and you know, keep burritos off the lunch truck
14:42
Speaker 3: and stuff like. I think that was an identity that
14:44
Speaker 3: comes with this industry, and so I think the imperative
14:47
Speaker 3: habit was trying to give practices towards having that power
14:52
Speaker 3: to just stop. I use Victor Frankel's quote a lot
14:55
Speaker 3: between stimulus and response. There's a small moment in time,
14:59
Speaker 3: and I really teach grabbing that small moment in time
15:01
Speaker 3: and then instituting these seven practices that would be a
15:06
Speaker 3: spiritual behavior to process and act more consciously and more
15:10
Speaker 3: intentionally than more reactive. It's less it's to be choose
15:16
Speaker 3: your behavior versus having reactive behavior. And there's seven practices.
15:20
Speaker 3: Were things like don't through the outcome. I stayed in
15:22
Speaker 3: a bad marriage because I was afraid of losing my house.
15:25
Speaker 3: Well I did, but the fear wasn't helping me be happy,
15:29
Speaker 3: and it wasn't. It just prolonged what had to happen anyway.
15:32
Speaker 3: So I was legitimately afraid of the outcome and so
15:35
Speaker 3: many things. And I think we little white lives we
15:38
Speaker 3: make is also the fear of judgment or the fear
15:40
Speaker 3: of the outcome. To officecate, you know, I forgot versus
15:45
Speaker 3: I was just lazy and didn't want to do it.
15:47
Speaker 3: And we tell these little white lies because it's a
15:49
Speaker 3: process and it's not so much content. And so that
15:52
Speaker 3: was one. The second one is accept things for what
15:55
Speaker 3: they are. We get very resentful. I remember, like open
16:00
Speaker 3: my car door in a bottle fell out and broke
16:02
Speaker 3: when I was late, and they said I need to
16:03
Speaker 3: accept this instead of getting angry and resentful, be thankful
16:07
Speaker 3: that maybe it saved me from a car accident, we
16:09
Speaker 3: contextualize and accept something rather than being angry about it
16:13
Speaker 3: and let an emotion flood. And not that emotion is bad,
16:16
Speaker 3: but unprocessed emotion with a lack of self awareness can
16:20
Speaker 3: at times become destructive. And so I began practicing things
16:23
Speaker 3: like being present as one of them, always respond with
16:26
Speaker 3: love and compassion, just make that happen, and a practice
16:30
Speaker 3: to respond with other people. And understanding compassion is a
16:34
Speaker 3: lot in that book too, because I think people misunderstand
16:37
Speaker 3: compassion empathy and sympathy, and I focus on compassion, not
16:41
Speaker 3: empathy and sympathy. And have faith. I mean, you really
16:45
Speaker 3: can't do this work without a little bit of faith,
16:48
Speaker 3: because it is hard and the results often move at
16:52
Speaker 3: glacial paces, and so you kind of have to have
16:55
Speaker 3: little faith that's going to work out.
16:57
Speaker 4: Yeah, And that's so interesting that you bring these things up,
17:01
Speaker 4: because it very much what I teach in my program,
17:05
Speaker 4: you know, and talking about like metacognition and just being
17:08
Speaker 4: aware of your own thoughts, beliefs, stories, and how those
17:14
Speaker 4: things are being constructed by a filter from your past
17:20
Speaker 4: experiences and that it's usually very far from objective reality,
17:26
Speaker 4: and how noticing those things and challenging yourself. Challenging those stories,
17:32
Speaker 4: challenging those thoughts allows you to bring in more objectivity
17:36
Speaker 4: and is very calming to the nervous system, because when
17:40
Speaker 4: someone is in a highly emotional state, like they open
17:43
Speaker 4: the door and the water bottle falls out and it breaks,
17:46
Speaker 4: and maybe it's a new water bottle and you're going
17:47
Speaker 4: to be late, and you know, there's all these little
17:50
Speaker 4: sort of micro stressors associated with that. Then you're like
17:55
Speaker 4: staring at a big tree in the forest. That emotion,
17:57
Speaker 4: that annoyance, that frustration, that that like, oh that was
18:02
Speaker 4: new and I just spent money on it, and all
18:04
Speaker 4: of those negative emotions feel like you're in a forest,
18:07
Speaker 4: like staring at a giant tree and that tree's just
18:11
Speaker 4: hard to get past, right, it's big, and you know,
18:15
Speaker 4: you're like, okay, I'm in this forest. I don't even
18:16
Speaker 4: know where I am. But then when you challenge these beliefs,
18:21
Speaker 4: it gives you a zoom out perspective where you see
18:23
Speaker 4: the forests like this is just a moment in time.
18:25
Speaker 2: Okay, it's a water bottle.
18:27
Speaker 4: It's not at the end of the day, like this
18:29
Speaker 4: life or death thing that's happening to me. But the
18:32
Speaker 4: nervous system is responding as if it is it's sending
18:36
Speaker 4: you threat signals that you're really unsafe, when really you're
18:41
Speaker 4: not unsafe. It's just a water bottle that fell out
18:43
Speaker 4: and you're a little bit late, and so you zoom
18:46
Speaker 4: out and you see it for one tiny moment in
18:48
Speaker 4: time that isn't part of your identity. It's not going
18:50
Speaker 4: to drastically affect your future. And that's what happens. As
18:54
Speaker 4: a result of challenging our thoughts and processing through our
18:56
Speaker 4: emotions in real time, we get that integration where we
18:59
Speaker 4: can zoom out and see the forest for the trees
19:03
Speaker 4: and radically accept this moment in time as something that
19:06
Speaker 4: just is and move on from it quickly instead of
19:10
Speaker 4: feeling like we're we have to navigate this for forest
19:13
Speaker 4: and we're staring at these giant trees and we don't
19:15
Speaker 4: know where we're going. That's just kind of the analogy
19:19
Speaker 4: that I use well.
19:19
Speaker 1: And I also think, you know, miracles always happen when
19:23
Speaker 1: perspective shifts, so you know it's in those micro moments
19:27
Speaker 1: that we have to take control and be able to
19:30
Speaker 1: really change the human experience, because I think too often
19:34
Speaker 1: we define the human experience as maybe being too reactive.
19:39
Speaker 1: But how amazing would it be to be able to
19:41
Speaker 1: shift the human experience as actually being able to do
19:44
Speaker 1: things that are more mindful. And that's the human experience,
19:48
Speaker 1: that's the true human experience, not these moments where the
19:51
Speaker 1: water bottle falls, something breaks, We'll relate and then you know,
19:54
Speaker 1: we're pissed off and yelling at somebody, you know, or
19:57
Speaker 1: getting cut off in traffic, because I think we too
20:00
Speaker 1: often excuse that behavior as more of the human experience
20:05
Speaker 1: when the human experience should be deeper than that.
20:07
Speaker 2: It should be.
20:08
Speaker 4: Yeah, so tell us more about these principles.
20:10
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I mean I want to go back because
20:13
Speaker 3: you said said but then I really want to give
20:15
Speaker 3: you credit for you know, I think I think I
20:17
Speaker 3: missed a step in my new book at that early
20:21
Speaker 3: because you know, I talk about awareness in their first step,
20:24
Speaker 3: but really what you just said is regulation. Nervous system
20:27
Speaker 3: regulations should be their first step, because you really aren't
20:29
Speaker 3: going to get into a sitt awareness without regulation. And
20:33
Speaker 3: I think that's a really important point. And I think,
20:35
Speaker 3: you know, my own ego disillusion at that time, I
20:38
Speaker 3: questioned whether it was easier because I lost everything and
20:41
Speaker 3: here I am at the floor where it was really
20:44
Speaker 3: easy to dissolve my ego and realize that everything that
20:47
Speaker 3: I had manufactured subconsciously was a was a lie, was false.
20:53
Speaker 3: And I saw a flood of every mistake I ever
20:55
Speaker 3: made and what prompted me. I even saw what subjective
21:00
Speaker 3: reality I saw compared to objective reality with why I
21:03
Speaker 3: married this woman to begin with, And there's nothing wrong
21:05
Speaker 3: with I'm thing bad to say about her, but I
21:08
Speaker 3: chose her because of the perception that I had. And
21:11
Speaker 3: I saw and got real with those reasons of my
21:14
Speaker 3: own upbringing, on my own filter and ego that said
21:19
Speaker 3: this is good, this is a good match, and that
21:22
Speaker 3: was all not real. It's a perception misalignment.
21:26
Speaker 4: And I had the same experience. I had the same experience.
21:30
Speaker 4: So I totally am digging what you're saying right now.
21:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so I think I wondered if I didn't
21:36
Speaker 3: lose everything, if I still would have been able to
21:38
Speaker 3: dissolve the ego way that I did. And I know
21:40
Speaker 3: the mechanism rebuilds itself. It's kind of like chop on
21:42
Speaker 3: off for tree and you get a stump and you
21:43
Speaker 3: go to a you know, Christmas free farm when the
21:45
Speaker 3: sprouts are going back up, I mean, it's just going
21:47
Speaker 3: to keep growing back up unless you monitor how it
21:51
Speaker 3: grows back up. And you have these tools now starting
21:54
Speaker 3: from a slate at one point of ecodisillusion to now
21:58
Speaker 3: guide these branches to principles and values. And the principles
22:02
Speaker 3: and values that I attached to that I talk about
22:05
Speaker 3: that I'm passionate about sharing, and I think now they're
22:07
Speaker 3: more neuroscience adopted is some of the old ancient rules,
22:14
Speaker 3: the reverence for life kind of rules. You know, my
22:18
Speaker 3: strength is made perfect by my weakness, which is a
22:20
Speaker 3: Bible verse in terms of to me, I mean it's
22:22
Speaker 3: being vulnerable. Is that it takes strength to be weak.
22:24
Speaker 3: And so I think I try to adopt these rules,
22:27
Speaker 3: don't through the outcome. Things happen for a reason, And
22:30
Speaker 3: I think these rules have been more challenging now that
22:33
Speaker 3: my business has regrown. I'm back to an eight figure
22:36
Speaker 3: business right now with very high margins and very low
22:40
Speaker 3: risk and a very nice lifestyle. And I had to
22:43
Speaker 3: put these principles back in place as I became more successful,
22:47
Speaker 3: and that was hard, and I never compromised these values
22:50
Speaker 3: in the growth of my business and probably had slower
22:54
Speaker 3: growth than I could have because I really wanted to
22:57
Speaker 3: maintain these personal values and things I learned, and I
23:01
Speaker 3: feel like if I didn't apply them at any point,
23:05
Speaker 3: it was saying I didn't go through enough pain to
23:08
Speaker 3: learn my lesson right, it would eventiate all that pain
23:11
Speaker 3: if I didn't apply in every single situation.
23:14
Speaker 4: Gosh, I can just relate to this so much because
23:16
Speaker 4: my personal story in some ways is very similar. I
23:19
Speaker 4: didn't lose my home, probably almost did, but by the
23:24
Speaker 4: grace of God and social Security death benefits, I did
23:27
Speaker 4: not because I was married to somebody with same type
23:31
Speaker 4: of issues, was an addict and ended up overdosing and
23:34
Speaker 4: dying in twenty twenty after a very long, awful, very
23:37
Speaker 4: expensive divorce and custody battle, and then I became very
23:42
Speaker 4: chronically ill as a result of the stress. My mom
23:44
Speaker 4: was diagnosed with cancer. Like I've been over that on
23:47
Speaker 4: this pod a lot, but I essentially hit rock bottom.
23:50
Speaker 4: I mean I lost everything. Yeah, I lost all of
23:53
Speaker 4: my attachments at once. My sense of fairness in life
24:00
Speaker 4: was kind of ripped away from me because it was
24:01
Speaker 4: just trauma after trauma after trauma, and I just felt like,
24:05
Speaker 4: why is the world against me, and I had this
24:07
Speaker 4: real victim mindset for a little while, especially when I
24:11
Speaker 4: got really sick, and when I came out of that,
24:17
Speaker 4: I really change and healed. I really changed my identity
24:22
Speaker 4: from a victim to an overcomer. I was very, very,
24:28
Speaker 4: very dedicated to beating fear in my life because I
24:31
Speaker 4: was very anxiety ridden.
24:32
Speaker 2: That was a huge part of my identity.
24:33
Speaker 4: I had anxiety that's just who I am, and it
24:35
Speaker 4: was like, no, that's not who I am. You know,
24:38
Speaker 4: Fear is something I can choose to identify with or
24:41
Speaker 4: step away from. And God was a big part of
24:44
Speaker 4: that for me. But mindfulness, joy, authenticity, and what I
24:50
Speaker 4: hear you say is I choose these principles and to
24:53
Speaker 4: maintain them throughout my regrowth because it's who I identify
24:58
Speaker 4: as now, and that is authentic and authenticity is one
25:01
Speaker 4: of the most regulating things to the human nervous system.
25:03
Speaker 4: And so it's interesting how similar our stories are in
25:07
Speaker 4: that respect of hitting a low, low, low place. You
25:12
Speaker 4: might call it rock bottom.
25:14
Speaker 2: I don't know.
25:14
Speaker 4: It was my rock bottom for sure, But then there's
25:17
Speaker 4: kind of a beautiful thing where when you hit rock bottom,
25:20
Speaker 4: there's nowhere else to go but up, and if you
25:22
Speaker 4: do it the right way when you're rebuilding, you can
25:25
Speaker 4: sustain a lot of really beautiful momentum in that upward trajectory.
25:30
Speaker 1: I'm loving this whole conversation because just because of where
25:35
Speaker 1: we are currently in this business, it's so important. It's
25:39
Speaker 1: been the first eight weeks of twenty twenty six have
25:44
Speaker 1: very you know, like I said, we're in the infancy
25:47
Speaker 1: stage of this business, and we had massive growth in
25:51
Speaker 1: twenty twenty five and doctor Hensley and I kind of
25:55
Speaker 1: did it all on our own, and so now we're
25:58
Speaker 1: starting to implement people, which is super exciting but also
26:04
Speaker 1: brings on a whole new set of challenges. And I
26:09
Speaker 1: think that it's really important there's no coincidences here right
26:13
Speaker 1: that we're having this conversation, because it allows me to
26:16
Speaker 1: be able to step back and really not have to
26:20
Speaker 1: be on this trajectory of more and more and more, faster,
26:23
Speaker 1: faster faster. Let's slow things down, Let's take a look
26:28
Speaker 1: at the whole forest and be able to make sure
26:32
Speaker 1: that the mission. We want to make sure that the
26:35
Speaker 1: mission of the Love Doc stays very clear, which obviously
26:38
Speaker 1: is teaching people how to love in a healthy secure way,
26:42
Speaker 1: because our whole mission all along here has been if
26:46
Speaker 1: we can save families, we can save communities, and then
26:50
Speaker 1: we can save the world. And that that may sound
26:53
Speaker 1: very audacious, but we feel like we have to be
26:57
Speaker 1: audacious in the world that we live in in order
26:59
Speaker 1: to save it. All. Right, let's talk about sleep for
27:03
Speaker 1: a second, because if you're tired, everything feels harder, your mood,
27:07
Speaker 1: your patience, even your relationships, all of it. And that's
27:11
Speaker 1: why we love Cozy Earth.
27:14
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27:18
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27:21
Speaker 2: Their viscous of bamboo sheets.
27:23
Speaker 4: Are breathable, they're temperature regulating, and somehow get even softer
27:27
Speaker 4: the more you wash them, which feels like a personal
27:30
Speaker 4: gift to your nervous system.
27:31
Speaker 2: Agreed.
27:32
Speaker 4: And if you share a bed with somebody who runs hot,
27:34
Speaker 4: tosses or turns, or steals the covers, this might actually
27:38
Speaker 4: save your relationship. Cozy Earth is known for its premium quality,
27:41
Speaker 4: and they even offer a generous trial period so you
27:44
Speaker 4: can really feel the difference for yourself.
27:46
Speaker 1: That's right, So better sleep means better energy, better connection,
27:50
Speaker 1: and honestly just better everything. You can go to cozyearth
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27:58
Speaker 1: That's Cozy Earth Dots. Use code love Doc mention this
28:03
Speaker 1: podcast and get twenty percent off your purchase. Thank you, Cozier,
28:08
Speaker 1: Thank you. I want to change gears here because I
28:11
Speaker 1: want to talk to our male audience a little bit,
28:15
Speaker 1: because we don't often have males on as guests, so
28:19
Speaker 1: this is very exciting, and I do. I want to
28:22
Speaker 1: shift the gears because they deserve some attention. They deserve,
28:26
Speaker 1: you know, to hear from other men who have been successful,
28:29
Speaker 1: and so many of the things that we think are
28:31
Speaker 1: important and secure love and what you write about and
28:35
Speaker 1: what you talk about is so in line with secure love,
28:38
Speaker 1: and just from a male perspective. Yeah, I want to
28:40
Speaker 1: talk about masculine. Yeah, because even as high achieving females, right,
28:45
Speaker 1: it's difficult. I was just talking to my husband about
28:49
Speaker 1: this the other day. I said, I'm going to have
28:52
Speaker 1: to be very mindful here, to stay soft, to stay
28:56
Speaker 1: in my feminine because when you're in a high achieving
28:58
Speaker 1: role as a female, you naturally slip into some toxic
29:03
Speaker 1: masculinity is what I would call it, where you get
29:06
Speaker 1: a little edgy, you get a little you know, short,
29:10
Speaker 1: sharp around the.
29:11
Speaker 2: Edge, yeah, sharper tongue.
29:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, because we're distracted and I want to stay soft
29:15
Speaker 1: and I want to say feminine, and I want to
29:17
Speaker 1: stay submissive to my husband. And so I think that
29:22
Speaker 1: you know, just talking about masculinity in general for men
29:25
Speaker 1: and then maybe how we can translate even that to
29:28
Speaker 1: the female I think is it would be a really
29:30
Speaker 1: good conversation and I just want to get your take
29:33
Speaker 1: on it.
29:33
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, I would love to go back to the
29:36
Speaker 3: growth of your business at some point from verse about
29:38
Speaker 3: that too, because I had that struggle from nothing back
29:40
Speaker 3: to some mean we can put a pin in that.
29:43
Speaker 3: In terms of masculinity, you know, I don't think men
29:47
Speaker 3: have a I don't think men are broken, and I
29:49
Speaker 3: don't think masculinity is broken. I think society has hijacked
29:53
Speaker 3: it as like the hallmark of the day card, and
29:56
Speaker 3: they've made it advertising slogan and Paula have grabbed it,
30:02
Speaker 3: Jordan Peterson has grabbed it, and everyone's defining it. And
30:04
Speaker 3: I think it's not definable in today's society. And I
30:08
Speaker 3: think the confusion of what being masculine is is causing
30:13
Speaker 3: people to change masks over and over and over again
30:17
Speaker 3: to be something different to meet what they think the
30:20
Speaker 3: definition is. And I think a couple that with some
30:23
Speaker 3: biology and the male species and some of the analystic
30:26
Speaker 3: aspects of primates or mammals, and you have this combination
30:31
Speaker 3: of performance that's ingrained in male society, domination, being a provider.
30:38
Speaker 3: I think that those are natural traits as a male,
30:42
Speaker 3: but also society is making those more complex, and they're
30:47
Speaker 3: deepening the grooves, so to speak. And yet if you're
30:51
Speaker 3: not conscious, and you're not vulnerable, and you're not self aware,
30:55
Speaker 3: then the strength becomes potentially self destructive because it's unchecked integrated.
31:01
Speaker 3: And I think men aren't that conscious of how they
31:04
Speaker 3: behaved because it's so prevalent of the US hockey team.
31:07
Speaker 3: Is an interesting aspect of their subconscious training is to
31:12
Speaker 3: immediately laugh at the comments of not involving women. And
31:17
Speaker 3: they don't. They don't. They may not even have realized
31:19
Speaker 3: it until someone said, hey, that was sexist, and it
31:22
Speaker 3: was like, what you know? But but you know, it's
31:25
Speaker 3: societal training. And I think you would be shocked of
31:29
Speaker 3: how many men asked if I was gay because I
31:33
Speaker 3: said that that was a comment that these hockey players
31:36
Speaker 3: should have filtered a bit better. And that's just society.
31:40
Speaker 3: And I think masculinity is being hijacked, and so you know,
31:44
Speaker 3: people are praised for being, you know, rude, and I
31:47
Speaker 3: think certainly the political environment perpetuates the worst of the
31:53
Speaker 3: stereotypes of male behavior. And I think men just do
31:57
Speaker 3: not know how to be. So they grab whatever they
32:00
Speaker 3: pound gorilla is or the biggest peacock feathers, and they
32:02
Speaker 3: want to have those feathers, so they portray them as
32:04
Speaker 3: well and none off it's authentic and none off it's real,
32:06
Speaker 3: and then they get themselves in these horrible situations like
32:09
Speaker 3: I did. And so I'm speaking from experience of misunderstanding
32:14
Speaker 3: value and that my ego and my presentation and my
32:18
Speaker 3: identity misunderstood the road I was driving on. And it's
32:24
Speaker 3: not sustainable. And I don't know how to get through
32:26
Speaker 3: to men besides slowing down. And now with doctor Hensley,
32:31
Speaker 3: regulate first and then work on awareness. You really can't
32:34
Speaker 3: You really can't do much unless you begin to become
32:37
Speaker 3: aware of what's transpiring.
32:39
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's interesting you talk about vulnerability and
32:43
Speaker 4: when I talk to let's say, dismissive avoidance.
32:47
Speaker 2: Those are the folks.
32:48
Speaker 4: That are They tend to be men because of societal
32:53
Speaker 4: pressure that men are not supposed to be vulnerable. So
32:56
Speaker 4: dismissive avoidance were raised with some emotional neglect, you know,
32:59
Speaker 4: and have their emotions dismissed as children, so they sort
33:02
Speaker 4: of subconsciously imprint this idea that emotions are bad, they're shameful,
33:06
Speaker 4: they make me weak. I don't share them with people,
33:08
Speaker 4: and then it really hurts them in their relationship because
33:10
Speaker 4: then they're with someone, you know, usually a woman who
33:14
Speaker 4: wants emotional intimacy and vulnerability from their mate, and they
33:18
Speaker 4: don't know how to give it, and they're incredibly uncomfortable
33:21
Speaker 4: with it, and then they get really defensive and then
33:23
Speaker 4: they pull away, and it creates such a painful dynamic
33:27
Speaker 4: in their relationships. Even though sometimes in the business world
33:31
Speaker 4: or whatnot, it's helped them to be more logical and
33:34
Speaker 4: to be more stoic and to be more tough aka
33:37
Speaker 4: you know, quotes tough. But I just think that vulnerability
33:44
Speaker 4: is actually braver than stoicism because with vulnerability comes the
33:51
Speaker 4: possibility of rejection, and so to put your deepest thoughts
33:55
Speaker 4: feeling spears on the table with someone knowing that there
33:59
Speaker 4: is a possibility that they could reject that or say
34:01
Speaker 4: I don't like that, or I don't want that.
34:03
Speaker 2: That is brave. That is brave.
34:07
Speaker 4: To me, that is masculine. It is more masculine than
34:12
Speaker 4: keeping it to yourself because inherently you are willing to
34:15
Speaker 4: be authentic, to express your inner world, to have that
34:19
Speaker 4: intimacy knowing that it could lead to pain, and to me,
34:22
Speaker 4: that is more brave than stoicism.
34:25
Speaker 1: Absolutely well, if.
34:27
Speaker 3: I can build on that. I think that biologically being
34:31
Speaker 3: vulnerable would indicate a lower rate of survivability. And I
34:37
Speaker 3: think an avoidant or attachment styles that are anxious for
34:40
Speaker 3: avoidant or dismissive are also survival strategies that make it
34:44
Speaker 3: dangerous to be vulnerable. And yet the paradox of my
34:49
Speaker 3: title is that to be spiritual is a paradox of
34:52
Speaker 3: what's biological. And so again it's back to running, where
34:55
Speaker 3: your body says stop, it's safer to stop running, and
34:59
Speaker 3: your spirits's way that we need to keep going. And
35:01
Speaker 3: I think that's the aspect of grabbing awareness first and
35:04
Speaker 3: then recognizing that being vulnerable takes strength. Society has also
35:09
Speaker 3: called it weak. So now you have a biological propensity
35:14
Speaker 3: just to avoid vulnerability. You have a survival mechanism and
35:17
Speaker 3: maybe attachment styles that make it unsafe to be vulnerable
35:21
Speaker 3: or weak. And then you have society that's further stressing
35:25
Speaker 3: that being vulnerable is weakness, when in fact, it takes
35:28
Speaker 3: the most amount of strength, yes, to put yourself in
35:32
Speaker 3: that defensive position. And honestly, like I had this great
35:36
Speaker 3: story when our business was collapsing. I had this project
35:38
Speaker 3: up in Oakland at this hospital and it was a fiasco. Weird.
35:43
Speaker 3: Business was collapsing during this project, and I had a
35:46
Speaker 3: lot of money to make on this project and there
35:47
Speaker 3: was a bond on it. Anyway, lawyers got involved. We
35:50
Speaker 3: couldn't finish the project. They're all going to take my money,
35:52
Speaker 3: and there was profit in it, and I had no
35:55
Speaker 3: leg to stand on because we couldn't finish it. And
35:57
Speaker 3: I remember going to Seattle to sign the documents to
36:00
Speaker 3: settle this case, and I said, you know, there's a
36:04
Speaker 3: lot of money in this job that you guys are
36:05
Speaker 3: going to take from me. And I have no position,
36:08
Speaker 3: and I don't want to stop the settlement, but I'm
36:11
Speaker 3: getting divorced. I could really use fifty thousand dollars that settlement.
36:14
Speaker 3: And I know it's in there, and I know I
36:17
Speaker 3: know it means something to you, but it's going to
36:18
Speaker 3: mean a lot more to me. And I'm just asking
36:20
Speaker 3: you if there's any way we can just consider peel
36:23
Speaker 3: an off the two thousands of the settlement for me.
36:26
Speaker 3: And this is a guy that hated our company and
36:29
Speaker 3: hated the situation, and he looks at me and says, yeah,
36:35
Speaker 3: because you didn't demand it, because you're vulnerable, I'm going
36:38
Speaker 3: to peel off fifty thousand dollars.
36:39
Speaker 2: Right now and give it to you, beautiful. I love that.
36:42
Speaker 3: Wonderful And that was after my practice. And you get
36:46
Speaker 3: the opposite reaction of what you're afraid of. And in fact,
36:49
Speaker 3: that fear is afraid of fear. You're afraid to be vulnerable,
36:52
Speaker 3: which is fear. So it's like double layers of fear.
36:55
Speaker 3: If you can get over the first layer, Okay, I'm
36:57
Speaker 3: going to be vulnerable, then you can actually put yourself
37:00
Speaker 3: in the second position of being defenseless. Yeah, and it
37:02
Speaker 3: takes a lot of courage to do that. Yeah.
37:04
Speaker 4: I am most attracted to my husband when he is
37:06
Speaker 4: deeply vulnerable with me that is when I am most
37:09
Speaker 4: attracted to him, because it's bonding I'm releasing. Yeah, it's intimacy.
37:15
Speaker 4: I'm releasing oxytocin from his vulnerability, and that makes me
37:20
Speaker 4: feel safe, It makes me want to have sex, it
37:23
Speaker 4: makes me sleep. Like. Oxytocin is the female nervous system regulator,
37:30
Speaker 4: and we release it when we have intimate bonding with
37:35
Speaker 4: our partner. And so when they are vulnerable with us
37:37
Speaker 4: and that intimacy is created, it is regulating to us
37:41
Speaker 4: as females. And I think that men just don't understand
37:46
Speaker 4: that they're such a societal pressure for them to be
37:52
Speaker 4: this hard ass and like you know, and they think, oh,
37:56
Speaker 4: you know, being masculine and being a leader means that
37:59
Speaker 4: you don't share these deep things.
38:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, it makes me think of So this was probably
38:05
Speaker 1: when I first started with the Love Doc, one of
38:08
Speaker 1: your mega viral videos, which was you know, well, why
38:14
Speaker 1: your wife won't have sex with you? And you know,
38:17
Speaker 1: obviously Doc got into the emotional safety that needs to
38:22
Speaker 1: be created for a female and I mean, honestly, this
38:26
Speaker 1: translates to Mills too. Emotional safety has to exist in
38:30
Speaker 1: order for intimacy to exist. And man, there were some
38:35
Speaker 1: men that came out of the woodwork though it got
38:38
Speaker 1: thirty million views on Twitter and just the comments they
38:42
Speaker 1: were mad, they were the men were all all of
38:46
Speaker 1: them right, Like obviously there were some that you know,
38:48
Speaker 1: understood and had a level of consciousness where they they agreed.
38:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, but there were a lot they were like, women
38:55
Speaker 2: don't want that. You're so wrong.
38:57
Speaker 4: Women don't want men to be vulnerable. And I'm going,
39:00
Speaker 4: what women are you talking about? That may be broken women,
39:04
Speaker 4: maybe women that are extremely insecure and need your masculinity
39:09
Speaker 4: to feel safe because they've never had vulnerability.
39:12
Speaker 2: And yeah, exactly, Well I.
39:15
Speaker 3: Could add a perspective and alpha's die early. There are
39:19
Speaker 3: some women that are like that that literally want the
39:21
Speaker 3: alpha male. And that is not somebody that I think
39:26
Speaker 3: an evolved man would want. And now I'm not saying
39:28
Speaker 3: evolved is better. I'm saying evolved as someone that has skills.
39:31
Speaker 3: I think all men are capable of emotional depth. I
39:34
Speaker 3: think it's not a lack of care or ability to love,
39:38
Speaker 3: but a lack of training and a lack of understanding
39:41
Speaker 3: and a lack of understanding tools to tackle fear. Yes,
39:46
Speaker 3: they see fear as unsafe versus it's like running again.
39:49
Speaker 3: They see fear as unsafe and to avoid, and I
39:51
Speaker 3: see fear as to jump into and process, and that's
39:54
Speaker 3: just an evolution in skills. But I think, you know,
39:57
Speaker 3: I got a lot of women also on the US
40:00
Speaker 3: hockey team thing saying they did nothing wrong, and I'm like, okay, well,
40:06
Speaker 3: not everyone agrees with you, but because there are women
40:09
Speaker 3: that have, you know, programming or personas or identities or
40:14
Speaker 3: trauma bonds or wounds from their father, from divorced families
40:18
Speaker 3: that are and will accept emotional shallowness because that's a
40:23
Speaker 3: connection to them. And so I think what you're saying
40:27
Speaker 3: is very evolved as well from a woman's perspective. And
40:29
Speaker 3: I couldn't spend one minute when I was single with
40:32
Speaker 3: somebody who wasn't evolved. Because if you're someone that is
40:35
Speaker 3: biologically going to give into the impulse of biology and
40:38
Speaker 3: go for an alpha, who's pretending the perception of an
40:42
Speaker 3: alpha isn't actually an alpha, right? A real alpha is
40:46
Speaker 3: someone that I call an omega, which is self mastery
40:48
Speaker 3: and vulnerable and has the ability. And I don't mean
40:51
Speaker 3: you walk around crying down the street. It means you
40:54
Speaker 3: decide what needs to be said when it needs to
40:57
Speaker 3: be said, no matter how hard it is to say it,
41:00
Speaker 3: to say it. And that's to me self mastery and masculine.
41:04
Speaker 3: And if I'm with a woman that doesn't respect that,
41:06
Speaker 3: that wants to be with an alpha opposer, go ahead.
41:09
Speaker 2: Yeah that was me. That was me and my first marriage.
41:12
Speaker 4: I mean, my first husband is the classic definition of
41:17
Speaker 4: you know what society says an alpha man. Was huge muscles,
41:21
Speaker 4: really into working out, really you know, big football star.
41:25
Speaker 4: You know, went to the Air Force to play D
41:27
Speaker 4: one football. He ended up not staying. But he, you know,
41:31
Speaker 4: was just this big, big fish in a small pond
41:33
Speaker 4: in his hometown.
41:36
Speaker 2: And I had.
41:37
Speaker 4: A really deep father wound. My dad was a very
41:40
Speaker 4: passive man. I viewed him as a very weak man.
41:44
Speaker 4: He created a lot of chaos in our family through
41:47
Speaker 4: vulnerable narcissism and victimization and not being able to hold
41:51
Speaker 4: a job. And I thought that when I was marrying
41:55
Speaker 4: my first husband, I was marrying the opposite of my dad.
41:58
Speaker 4: I thought, Oh, this man is strong and he doesn't
42:01
Speaker 4: let anybody push him around. And you know, when he
42:05
Speaker 4: took me to buy our first car together, I mean,
42:08
Speaker 4: he was tough with the salesman and he got this
42:10
Speaker 4: great deal and I was so proud. But really what
42:13
Speaker 4: ended up, you know, being realized in that marriage was
42:17
Speaker 4: that he was a giant bully, and then he ended
42:19
Speaker 4: up bullying me, and there was no true emotional vulnerability.
42:23
Speaker 4: There was only course of control and there was only abuse.
42:28
Speaker 4: And I fell for good looks, big muscles, a big family,
42:35
Speaker 4: that his family had money and mine did not, and
42:38
Speaker 4: I fell for these really external things that I felt
42:40
Speaker 4: like my dad didn't bring into our family, and it
42:43
Speaker 4: was all the wrong things to fall for. And I
42:47
Speaker 4: was not emotionally available myself. I thought I was. I
42:51
Speaker 4: thought I was very emotionally available. I wasn't because I
42:53
Speaker 4: was choosing men that weren't. And then even my first
42:56
Speaker 4: real serious relationship after my divorce was with a dismissive
43:00
Speaker 4: avoidant who was not even close to emotionally available, and
43:04
Speaker 4: then he left during my attachment crisis. That was part
43:06
Speaker 4: of the attachment crisis when my ex died, my DA
43:09
Speaker 4: boyfriend left, And of course they run away from stress
43:12
Speaker 4: and trauma and crisis because they don't know how to
43:14
Speaker 4: deal with someone else's vulnerability and weakness. And so when
43:18
Speaker 4: I did my healing work, and then I met my husband.
43:21
Speaker 4: He is this omega man like. He is strong, I mean,
43:25
Speaker 4: he has muscles, he works out, he's tough, he shoots guns,
43:29
Speaker 4: he loves football, all the stereotypical like masculine things. But
43:33
Speaker 4: he can be really soft with me, and he can
43:35
Speaker 4: be really truthful with me and very honest and vulnerable.
43:40
Speaker 4: And he's very conscious and self aware and self aware
43:44
Speaker 4: of himself and his own behavior, but of my needs
43:47
Speaker 4: and what we need as a couple. And so it's
43:49
Speaker 4: this beautiful intermingling of I do feel very safe with
43:53
Speaker 4: him physically, but I also feel very safe with him emotionally,
43:57
Speaker 4: and that is such like a perfect package in my opinion.
44:03
Speaker 3: I betually he's not performative, even with his his masculinity
44:08
Speaker 3: isn't performative Like I was a football player. I don't
44:10
Speaker 3: identify at that. But I'm saying when you, when you
44:13
Speaker 3: become have some self mastery, those are hobbies.
44:16
Speaker 2: Not exactly performance Exactly.
44:18
Speaker 3: I want to be healthy, not I want to look
44:20
Speaker 3: good to get the hottest chick in the bikini.
44:22
Speaker 1: Right.
44:23
Speaker 3: These are all performative mass or I call them micro
44:27
Speaker 3: identities that we create to to like mimic the person
44:31
Speaker 3: we're trying to get, Like, let's pretend and they're right
44:34
Speaker 3: about this a little bit. Like I remember in college
44:37
Speaker 3: all that I want to be more, have more masculinity,
44:40
Speaker 3: so not be so emotional. And I'd go talk with
44:43
Speaker 3: this girl and then her friend said, yeah, she's looking
44:44
Speaker 3: for someone more emotionally available. My god, that's totally me.
44:47
Speaker 3: I'm like the biggest, most sensitive person in the world
44:50
Speaker 3: that I've been about to be sensitive and that would
44:52
Speaker 3: have worked doing. And you begin to realize that all
44:55
Speaker 3: of it's fake and you're not being real and it's
44:57
Speaker 3: not sustainable. And so I really with your story because
45:01
Speaker 3: I am remarried and she had a similar experience her
45:03
Speaker 3: dad and Mango divorced. She saw her dad every two
45:07
Speaker 3: weeks for a weekend. So she learned that a man
45:10
Speaker 3: every two weeks that was emotionally unavailable and not engaged
45:14
Speaker 3: was normal. And you know, she had to break that
45:17
Speaker 3: pattern before she met me, and then we dated for
45:19
Speaker 3: seven years before we got married. And so think of
45:22
Speaker 3: the pain and struggle that she had to go through
45:25
Speaker 3: from her dating life to even get to the point
45:27
Speaker 3: where she was done making mistakes, yes to then take
45:30
Speaker 3: seven years of me saying, hey, wait a minute, you
45:33
Speaker 3: know you got to step up too, like you need
45:35
Speaker 3: to step into your courage and not act in this
45:38
Speaker 3: wound and not you need to speak up for yourself.
45:40
Speaker 3: You need to voice your emotions. You need to not
45:42
Speaker 3: take less if I'm saying something to you, you had
45:45
Speaker 3: to stand up for yourself, and I want to prop
45:47
Speaker 3: you up, like, don't stop. Yeah, I think, and I
45:50
Speaker 3: think the discussion really is about what women want. And
45:54
Speaker 3: I think there are women that still live in those
45:56
Speaker 3: wounds that men see his reinforcement to remain being a
46:00
Speaker 3: fake performative person. Yes, but it's what I can't what
46:04
Speaker 3: I want to help men understand is it's not sustainable. Yeah,
46:09
Speaker 3: nothing sustainable if it's built on a lie. Nothing is sustainable.
46:12
Speaker 3: If it's built with a facade. Movie sets get torn down,
46:16
Speaker 3: and what's behind it isn't the real thing that you
46:18
Speaker 3: just tore down. And so any time you're pretending to
46:21
Speaker 3: be something or love bombing or trying to be romantic
46:25
Speaker 3: or wooing somebody, if it's not something that's truly you,
46:29
Speaker 3: then they're falling in love with that.
46:31
Speaker 4: Yes, And it's so painful for the person on the
46:33
Speaker 4: other side of that, And this is a huge thing
46:36
Speaker 4: with both narcissistic people and dismissive avoidant people. Narcissists really
46:42
Speaker 4: love bomb, but dismissive avoidance, because they're wound around intimacy,
46:46
Speaker 4: doesn't get very activated until commitment is in play and
46:50
Speaker 4: expectation rises and normal things like conflict rise. They come
46:55
Speaker 4: in so strong and so they are so effortful in
46:59
Speaker 4: a tent and they really make people fall in love
47:03
Speaker 4: with them as that version of themselves. But then when
47:07
Speaker 4: the commitment comes, that's when their wounds around intimacy are
47:10
Speaker 4: so triggered, and then all of a sudden they pull
47:11
Speaker 4: away and they start becoming very distant, and they start
47:14
Speaker 4: becoming someone who just isn't very aware of their partner's
47:18
Speaker 4: needs or very effortful towards meeting their partner's needs. And
47:21
Speaker 4: then the partner made this attachment to the person who
47:24
Speaker 4: they were in the first six months, and then all
47:27
Speaker 4: of a sudden they're stuck with somebody who doesn't even
47:28
Speaker 4: resemble that at all, and they are just so confused
47:32
Speaker 4: and heartbroken.
47:34
Speaker 3: Well, certainly for me, dating after my collapse and change
47:38
Speaker 3: was a new venture, and I vowed to only be
47:42
Speaker 3: friends with people until I really knew them, and I.
47:46
Speaker 1: Was very I.
47:48
Speaker 3: Often was afraid to have tough conversations. They had that
47:52
Speaker 3: level of clarity, and then I became proudful of being
47:57
Speaker 3: so honest and transparent. I'd say, I'm just going to
47:59
Speaker 3: be friends. Only here for friends. Do not expect anything
48:03
Speaker 3: from me except I will try really hard to get
48:06
Speaker 3: to know you, and that's it. And oftentimes women would say,
48:11
Speaker 3: why haven't you hit on me yet? Excuse me?
48:15
Speaker 1: We're just friends?
48:17
Speaker 3: Was I not clear? I mean, I'm not ready to
48:19
Speaker 3: do that yet. And I knew that getting swept away
48:21
Speaker 3: and passion or swept away in some other gain for
48:25
Speaker 3: relationship would also prevent the ability to know them and
48:30
Speaker 3: a more authentic light, and so I would not engage
48:33
Speaker 3: in anything that distracted friendship and to be more internally
48:39
Speaker 3: whole and not have as many biological forces, and certainly
48:44
Speaker 3: to be spiritual enough to have the physical drive be
48:48
Speaker 3: reduced to connection rather than something more physical and more emotional.
48:53
Speaker 3: Not having that drive, I wasn't really attracted to people
48:57
Speaker 3: unless I really knew them, because the importance and the
48:59
Speaker 3: attract action was connection, not physical, and that really made
49:03
Speaker 3: it easy to be friends until I felt I felt something,
49:07
Speaker 3: So that was a big challenge to really keep instituting
49:11
Speaker 3: my practice and what I learned and never going back.
49:14
Speaker 3: I'm not going to be stuck in a paradigm like
49:16
Speaker 3: it was for my marriage.
49:18
Speaker 1: Yeah again, I'm assuming this is where you know the
49:22
Speaker 1: title of your book, Alphas Die Early. This is where
49:27
Speaker 1: this title comes from, right, Yeah, I want. I'm very
49:32
Speaker 1: curious about the title, even though I think I have
49:34
Speaker 1: an idea, but I want you to go a little
49:36
Speaker 1: bit deeper into how you came up with the title
49:39
Speaker 1: and how it sort of came to fruition for you.
49:44
Speaker 3: Well, I wanted. I think it can mean lots of things.
49:48
Speaker 3: I want. I was hoping alphas would read this. I
49:51
Speaker 3: wrote that book in kind of a succession of my
49:54
Speaker 3: first book to really help people. I realized that if
49:56
Speaker 3: other people had gone through the transitions that I did,
50:00
Speaker 3: the world would be a much better place. There wouldn't
50:02
Speaker 3: be so much combativeness, there wouldn't be so much competition,
50:06
Speaker 3: there wouldn't be so much And I realized that I
50:08
Speaker 3: engaged in that when I was unconscious and an alpha male.
50:12
Speaker 3: I realized that I would talk badly about competitors because
50:15
Speaker 3: they wanted to make myself look better. I realized that
50:17
Speaker 3: I talked down to people because it was my own
50:20
Speaker 3: self esteem issue. I preframed things for personal gain, and
50:25
Speaker 3: I realized all that was insecurity and bravado and steering
50:28
Speaker 3: a narrative towards the people around me, and there was
50:31
Speaker 3: no value in that. I became instantly unafraid of competition
50:35
Speaker 3: and instantly looked at the world as abundant and didn't
50:37
Speaker 3: need to compete with anybody because no one was stopping
50:40
Speaker 3: me from being me. And so I really wanted to
50:42
Speaker 3: help people. And I wrote Alphas that Early cause I
50:44
Speaker 3: wanted alphas to read it, and I thought they would
50:47
Speaker 3: read it and say, Wow, I'm proud to be an
50:50
Speaker 3: Alpha that dies early. Maybe I'll read this book and
50:52
Speaker 3: it's I kind of wrote it thinking that they would
50:53
Speaker 3: look at it as as how to become a better Alpha.
50:56
Speaker 3: But I also thought the title would inspire bay who
51:00
Speaker 3: are like aspiring alphas, right, who are like insecure alphas?
51:04
Speaker 3: And these are also archetypes, are kind of like a
51:06
Speaker 3: you ego. It's a classification of ego. Some common traits
51:10
Speaker 3: that people behave that get classify that these as these
51:14
Speaker 3: these names. But I wanted betas to read it because
51:17
Speaker 3: I want them to realize that there is no such
51:19
Speaker 3: thing as a beta. There's no such thing as the
51:21
Speaker 3: need to follow. There's no need that. Foremans in Bravado
51:25
Speaker 3: don't actually count for much. And so I wanted them
51:28
Speaker 3: to grab it and say, wait a minute, I'm happy
51:31
Speaker 3: that I'm not an oupha. Let me see away office
51:32
Speaker 3: die Early. And so those are kind of the reasons
51:35
Speaker 3: why I picked that title.
51:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, so the die early is not necessarily the physical body,
51:42
Speaker 1: it's really the ego. Correct.
51:44
Speaker 3: Well, it's both one that the statistics are that men,
51:48
Speaker 3: young men are suffering. I mean, they're higher rates of
51:50
Speaker 3: suicide and three out of four drug addiction, body dys morphia,
51:55
Speaker 3: mental illness. They're declining in higher education, both in law
51:59
Speaker 3: and me this, and young men are reporting fewer long
52:02
Speaker 3: term relationships before the age of thirty. You know, they're
52:06
Speaker 3: really suffering. They're suffering from and I think an inability
52:09
Speaker 3: to manage the definition of what masculinity is. And they
52:13
Speaker 3: become unengaged, they become overwhelmed, and they become isolated, and
52:16
Speaker 3: then they get depressed and they resort to YouTube and whatever.
52:20
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, disassociation. They resort to.
52:22
Speaker 3: Discasses, and so they are dying early. I mean, because
52:25
Speaker 3: most men want to be in alpha. It's biological to
52:29
Speaker 3: be the biggest and bartest peacock. It's biological to want
52:32
Speaker 3: to challenge the biggest ram with the biggest horns. That's
52:36
Speaker 3: just as a mammal, who we are. And if you
52:39
Speaker 3: try to become that, you will die early. You're dying
52:42
Speaker 3: early in the confusion of what that means. And so
52:45
Speaker 3: I'm suggesting getting off that train altogether, getting out of
52:48
Speaker 3: that arena and playing in a different one.
52:51
Speaker 2: Yeah.
52:51
Speaker 4: I mean, my ex husband was thirty six years old
52:53
Speaker 4: when he died from a drug and alcohol overdose. And
52:56
Speaker 4: he was an alcoholic and then he got he partied
52:59
Speaker 4: with drugs early in his life. When I got with me,
53:02
Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, I want nothing to do with that.
53:04
Speaker 4: So he pretty much switched to drinking. I you know,
53:09
Speaker 4: it was this slow I don't want to say it
53:10
Speaker 4: was slow evolution, but you know, alcoholism develops over time,
53:13
Speaker 4: and wasn't even to start out that way, and then
53:16
Speaker 4: you know, it got to the point where he was
53:17
Speaker 4: so addicted to alcohol he couldn't even go overnight without drinking.
53:23
Speaker 4: And he was hospitalized several times with stomach bleeds and
53:27
Speaker 4: DTAs and things like that, And so he tried to
53:29
Speaker 4: get on drugs to get off of alcohol, and it
53:32
Speaker 4: killed him.
53:33
Speaker 2: And he was thirty six years old.
53:34
Speaker 4: But he held that mask so tight that he had
53:39
Speaker 4: to be the toughest guy in the room. And part
53:41
Speaker 4: of his demise with drugs and alcohol was was, It's
53:44
Speaker 4: not going to happen to me. It's not going to
53:46
Speaker 4: happen to me. I know what I'm doing. I'm too
53:48
Speaker 4: tough for that to happen to me. And I think
53:51
Speaker 4: that his biggest fear was people knowing his addiction. And
53:57
Speaker 4: I think he you know, obviously, I believe he's he
54:00
Speaker 4: was a believer, he's Christian. I believe he's glorified in heaven.
54:03
Speaker 4: But I think his if he would have survived that episode,
54:07
Speaker 4: he would have been mortified that people in his small
54:10
Speaker 4: town knew that he had overdosed, because he thought it
54:14
Speaker 4: was he still couldn't look at himself as someone that
54:17
Speaker 4: had an addiction. He looked at himself as someone that
54:19
Speaker 4: was just choosing something that made him feel good.
54:22
Speaker 1: Right.
54:23
Speaker 3: It's a lack of self awareness and a lack of
54:26
Speaker 3: objector reality about yourself and that's that's a very tough
54:30
Speaker 3: thing to do because it's painful. And I think the
54:33
Speaker 3: Alpha Bravado is so biological and it's such a survival
54:37
Speaker 3: mechanism he was, he found that behavior, that persona that
54:41
Speaker 3: identity of Alpha as his survival mechanism, and it comes
54:46
Speaker 3: with a lot of other things that are ingrained in
54:49
Speaker 3: that behavior and that's his train of survival. And you know,
54:52
Speaker 3: play number one in Alpha's Die Early is don't be
54:56
Speaker 3: afraid to die, like make it a practice not to
54:59
Speaker 3: be afraid to die, and is to be able to
55:00
Speaker 3: stop your brain from saying stop running and to say,
55:03
Speaker 3: wait a minute, I'm not going to die if I
55:05
Speaker 3: keep running. Let me keep running. I mean, it's not literally,
55:08
Speaker 3: don't be afraid to die. We need a healthy dose
55:10
Speaker 3: of danger right when we do dangerous things. I'm not
55:13
Speaker 3: suggesting that, but I'm suggesting is emotionally, play one is
55:17
Speaker 3: learn what it means not to be afraid to die.
55:20
Speaker 3: And the next one is have reverence for life, which
55:23
Speaker 3: is a paradox. So value life so much that you
55:25
Speaker 3: don't want to squander it, but then don't be afraid
55:28
Speaker 3: to live. Anti survival instincts and that would break free
55:32
Speaker 3: of that alpha persona that you so attached to for survival,
55:37
Speaker 3: which is the fear that you need that to not die.
55:40
Speaker 1: I'm going to buy your book for my son. So
55:44
Speaker 1: I have a nineteen year old son. He just enlisted
55:46
Speaker 1: in the Army National Guard and he needs your book.
55:52
Speaker 1: I don't know if he is in the right space
55:55
Speaker 1: currently at his age and just where he is in
55:58
Speaker 1: his season of life, but you know, he has sort
56:03
Speaker 1: of always taken on this role. I was a single
56:06
Speaker 1: mom for fourteen years, and so he's always taken on
56:09
Speaker 1: this role as sort of this protector. Subconsciously, of course,
56:12
Speaker 1: he's totally unaware of it, where he feels this need
56:15
Speaker 1: to emotionally protect everyone around him and so at the
56:20
Speaker 1: expense of his own emotional capacity, right, so he has
56:24
Speaker 1: you know, there's there's been many times that I've said
56:26
Speaker 1: to my own husband, like I almost wish that he
56:29
Speaker 1: would just sort of break down, you know, and you
56:32
Speaker 1: can see the tension, you can. I can hug him
56:36
Speaker 1: and feel his body is just rock hard, right from
56:40
Speaker 1: just pure nervous system dysregulation and holding on to so
56:44
Speaker 1: much thinking that he has to be something that he
56:47
Speaker 1: simply doesn't have to be.
56:49
Speaker 3: Well, there's nothing wrong with being a provider, and I
56:52
Speaker 3: want people to know there's nothing wrong with being an alpha.
56:54
Speaker 3: There's nothing wrong with any of this. It's when it's unchecked, unregulated, unintegrated,
56:59
Speaker 3: and it's steers you from authenticity is where it becomes
57:03
Speaker 3: self destructive. And I think, you know you talk about
57:07
Speaker 3: your son. I actually use the story and the Maverick
57:11
Speaker 3: movie Top Gun Maverick. You know, there's that scene where
57:15
Speaker 3: Maverick is seeing his old nemesis Iceman, and he can't
57:20
Speaker 3: wait talk and he says, time to let it go.
57:24
Speaker 3: And Maverick's you know, spawning of goose dyeing and whatever,
57:27
Speaker 3: and I says, let it go, like that's all you have,
57:32
Speaker 3: to let it go. And doctor David Hawkins has a
57:34
Speaker 3: whole book called letting Go, and letting go of these
57:37
Speaker 3: fears is a form of trying to regulate because I
57:41
Speaker 3: call it a prison of You're in a prison of thoughts, right,
57:44
Speaker 3: Your son is literally in a prison that he's creative
57:47
Speaker 3: thoughts and ideas and beliefs, and he can't get out
57:49
Speaker 3: of the prison. But they're literally just thoughts. They're not
57:52
Speaker 3: any stronger, they're not steel, they're not wood. It's a
57:56
Speaker 3: belief that if you understand that it's kind of imaginary
58:00
Speaker 3: and you do have the power to alter that belief structure,
58:02
Speaker 3: that the bars begin to soften and you can kind
58:04
Speaker 3: of get out of that prison. And he may not
58:06
Speaker 3: be ready until he's ready. I mean.
58:10
Speaker 1: Your book, your book might be a good start.
58:13
Speaker 3: Yeah, a lot of kids don't read.
58:14
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I know, I know. I think though that,
58:18
Speaker 1: you know, I think this book is going to be
58:22
Speaker 1: imperative for a lot of people, even women. I mean,
58:26
Speaker 1: he even says here and the women who love him.
58:29
Speaker 1: So I'm definitely going to buy it from her son,
58:31
Speaker 1: and of course we encourage all of our listeners to
58:34
Speaker 1: go check out Dave Rossi's book, both books, The Imperative
58:37
Speaker 1: Habit and Alphas Die Early. Dave, thank you so much
58:41
Speaker 1: for being here. This is such a great in depth.
58:44
Speaker 1: I felt like we could have just keep I feel
58:46
Speaker 1: like we could keep going, and.
58:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like we could too. Over an Yeah,
58:52
Speaker 2: I would love that.
58:53
Speaker 4: I would love that because we are in such a
58:55
Speaker 4: as Rain is such such a pivotal point where basically,
59:00
Speaker 4: you know, there was three people in this business and
59:03
Speaker 4: then we massively grew to where nobody could have expected it.
59:09
Speaker 4: The systems that we had in place were basically no systems.
59:14
Speaker 4: And so now I have a big project. I can't
59:17
Speaker 4: announce it publicly, but it's going to launch us even
59:22
Speaker 4: more in terms of exposure, which might mean you know,
59:25
Speaker 4: more obviously influx of clients. And we have to put
59:30
Speaker 4: these people in these systems in place to support that growth,
59:33
Speaker 4: and we're.
59:33
Speaker 2: Doing that right now.
59:35
Speaker 4: But putting people in systems in place at first can
59:38
Speaker 4: feel very overwhelming and very chaotic. To make sure everybody
59:42
Speaker 4: knows what they're supposed to be doing and who has
59:45
Speaker 4: what role, and making sure those roles are very well defined.
59:48
Speaker 1: And yeah, I would love to pick your brain, like
59:50
Speaker 1: in the CAD, I'd be happy to share. I'm a
59:53
Speaker 1: daughter of a contractor, and I know in the contracting
59:56
Speaker 1: world there's so many moving pieces, just so many moving pieces,
1:00:00
Speaker 1: even more so than probably what we're dealing with. So
1:00:03
Speaker 1: I'm sure that you're familiar with all those things. So
1:00:05
Speaker 1: maybe after today's podcast we do a whole business podcast.
1:00:09
Speaker 1: I think that would be I'd be happy I.
1:00:11
Speaker 3: Have, I guess said at one hundred and thirty employees
1:00:13
Speaker 3: at one point office in La office in San Francisco
1:00:17
Speaker 3: and then shut it down and then start up again
1:00:19
Speaker 3: in the Silicon Valley for luxury homes. And I understand
1:00:22
Speaker 3: starting from nothing and implementing a practice is really important
1:00:27
Speaker 3: and how that translates into the work world. Some slight
1:00:31
Speaker 3: modifications and be happy to share my experiences and however
1:00:34
Speaker 3: it helps you. I hope it does be amazing.
1:00:36
Speaker 2: That would be awesome.
1:00:37
Speaker 1: So tell our listeners where they can find you.
1:00:39
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm at Dave Rossiglobal dot com. I'm on Instagram
1:00:43
Speaker 3: at Dave Rossi Global and TikTok Dave Rossi Global.
1:00:47
Speaker 1: Great, awesome, Well, thank you again so much for being here,
1:00:51
Speaker 1: and thank you guys for listening. We love you guys.
1:00:54
Speaker 1: Obviously we're going to continue to just bring on so
1:00:57
Speaker 1: many wonderful guests that bring so much knowledge and hopefully
1:01:00
Speaker 1: power to you so that you can step into your
1:01:03
Speaker 1: power and if nothing else, to step into your healing journey.
1:01:06
Speaker 1: And if you are stepping into your healing journey, of course,
1:01:08
Speaker 1: go check out Dave Rossi and his books, and go
1:01:11
Speaker 1: check out doctor Hensley at the lovedoc dot com. And
1:01:14
Speaker 1: until next time, peace, love, and perspective.