Latest / We Talk Back / Ep, 64 *Clip* Good Men vs. Terrible Men
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Talk talk. We're just too unapologetically black women with an
- 0:05Speaker 1: opinion who talks back the relationship. And I definitely used
- 0:12Speaker 1: to call it nigga, a son of a bitch and
- 0:14Speaker 1: he used to get so good as his mom had
- 0:16Speaker 1: passed dumb. No, never, I was never calling him you know,
- 0:21Speaker 1: he was really taking it first, almost like are you
- 0:24Speaker 1: talking about my mama like that? I'm not talking about
- 0:26Speaker 1: your mama. Son of a bitch isn't like it? But
- 0:30Speaker 1: what is the son of a bitch? Though him? But
- 0:34Speaker 1: so his mama is a bit so that's why he
- 0:36Speaker 1: takes especially if he at these Okay, all right, yeah,
- 0:41Speaker 1: now if we want to talk literal, but we're not
- 0:42Speaker 1: talking literal of them. Are women having problems from these men?
- 0:48Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying because they were raised by
- 0:51Speaker 1: But that's the thing where I have I have dealt
- 0:54Speaker 1: with women over the years who have told me like
- 0:57Speaker 1: I wasn't emotional, I didn't get mad about certain things,
- 1:00Speaker 1: like oh, show me some emotion, like I had women
- 1:03Speaker 1: like purposely try to send me exactly they sure do,
- 1:09Speaker 1: like they'll call me a bitch ass nigga to get
- 1:10Speaker 1: me the show emotion. And when I almost punched the
- 1:12Speaker 1: ship out of you. Then I'm a bit your ass nigga.
- 1:15Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like, I'm like, come on now, nigga, exactly.
- 1:20Speaker 1: But but and just for the record, I have never
- 1:24Speaker 1: ever hit a woman that I have dated in my
- 1:26Speaker 1: entire data women you haven't dated, maybe one. But she
- 1:32Speaker 1: had got super disrespectful with my mama and my mama
- 1:35Speaker 1: house and were family. We were all family. We moved
- 1:38Speaker 1: past it. It was all with it, you know. But
- 1:40Speaker 1: you know, I mean her brother would have stole off
- 1:42Speaker 1: for me, you know what I'm saying, or stole off
- 1:44Speaker 1: on my sister if I said that, you know. But
- 1:47Speaker 1: we all families, so we all have just completely moved
- 1:49Speaker 1: past it. Yeah we Yeah, we are definitely patched that up.
- 1:52Speaker 1: But I've never, out of anger like hit a woman.
- 1:55Speaker 1: I've never felt the need to. And I feel like
- 1:57Speaker 1: that's because I always feel like I'm the prize. So like,
- 1:59Speaker 1: I bit, call me whatever you want to say, go
- 2:03Speaker 1: out here with these other niggas and you don't see
- 2:05Speaker 1: that you're gonna get worse. You can call me whatever
- 2:09Speaker 1: you want to try to get me mad, call me
- 2:11Speaker 1: a whole ass nigga. Bit I just know that I know,
- 2:14Speaker 1: thank you. I'm glad you don't. But I just know
- 2:16Speaker 1: that the niggas out here ain't ship, and you're gonna
- 2:19Speaker 1: go out here and you're gonna get one of them.
- 2:22Speaker 1: I feel like we say that a man. I don't look,
- 2:27Speaker 1: I don't say nothing. I just say. I just say.
- 2:29Speaker 1: I just say, choose better. I always tell you something
- 2:32Speaker 1: good men, so I say, but I also know a
- 2:36Speaker 1: lot of terrible I know, I know a lot of
- 2:39Speaker 1: terrible men relationship wise. Now, I would definitely say as
- 2:43Speaker 1: far as relationship goes, I feel like ninety percent of
- 2:45Speaker 1: the men are bad for relationships. When we talk about
- 2:47Speaker 1: good people, good fathers, I feel like easily seventy or
- 2:52Speaker 1: I feel like of all men are good, genuinely good
- 2:56Speaker 1: hearted and are good will will be good fathers and
- 2:59Speaker 1: given the opportunity. But I just feel like a lot
- 3:02Speaker 1: of men who are quote unquote debbie dads, they suffer
- 3:05Speaker 1: from bad advice. Because I remember when I whenever I
- 3:08Speaker 1: when I was going through my custody situation, so many
- 3:10Speaker 1: of my my homies were like, man that ship, for
- 3:13Speaker 1: that ship, Man, pay pay your child support, let her do.
- 3:15Speaker 1: I'm like, pay my child supporting. Just let her do whatever.
- 3:18Speaker 1: When your son get old enough, just explain to that
- 3:20Speaker 1: you're gonna get to a point here, gonna want to
- 3:22Speaker 1: know his daddy. Then you could tell him about his mama.
- 3:24Speaker 1: You won't eventually see all that. Bro, you want me
- 3:27Speaker 1: to go fourteen years without fifteen when I see kids?
- 3:30Speaker 1: Out of mind for a lot of men. So this
- 3:32Speaker 1: is what I want you to say. How do how
- 3:35Speaker 1: do we get that percent of? What can men do
- 3:38Speaker 1: to get that? Of I feel like they I feel
- 3:42Speaker 1: like they just I feel like they just don't know
- 3:45Speaker 1: how to be good. But men or not been as
- 3:49Speaker 1: far as relationships, it's the same way with women. I
- 3:52Speaker 1: feel like a lot of women of them are bad
- 3:55Speaker 1: in relationships because they just don't know what a good
- 3:58Speaker 1: relationship looks like. We don't don't have we don't like
- 4:01Speaker 1: a lot of a lot of I mean, let's just
- 4:03Speaker 1: be honest with you. We could we could get into
- 4:05Speaker 1: we can just go into systemic racism. We can go
- 4:08Speaker 1: into just the overall things that society has done to
- 4:11Speaker 1: the black family on purpose to divide us. We could
- 4:14Speaker 1: we could get into that. But we most of us
- 4:17Speaker 1: know these things, but without these positive images out there
- 4:21Speaker 1: of a black family. You know, it's hard for anybody
- 4:25Speaker 1: to really emulate anything. So do you think that a
- 4:29Speaker 1: man that doesn't take care of his kids, do you
- 4:31Speaker 1: think that man should have any friends or should he
- 4:33Speaker 1: be ostracized in the community, Should he have any friends?
- 4:37Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't. I think that more men
- 4:39Speaker 1: need to step up because I always say, there's women,
- 4:41Speaker 1: we be having lunches, brunches, conferences, all these different things,
- 4:45Speaker 1: so we could sit down and talk about our bullshit.
- 4:47Speaker 1: But men you'll claim you have nobody to talk to.
- 4:50Speaker 1: And if there's a good man, if there's a man
- 4:52Speaker 1: who's a self complaim good man, you need to reach
- 4:54Speaker 1: out to these niggas who ain't doing ship and speak
- 4:57Speaker 1: to them and talk to them, and then it won't
- 4:59Speaker 1: always look like it's the woman fashion these men. You
- 5:03Speaker 1: see what I'm saying. We need more help from the
- 5:06Speaker 1: good men. The quote unquote good men need to reach
- 5:09Speaker 1: back to the other men who are struggling, who just
- 5:12Speaker 1: have a group of surrounded by a bunch of a
- 5:21Speaker 1: lot of men don't be receptive. So I would say,
- 5:24Speaker 1: from my experience, I get a lot of young men
- 5:26Speaker 1: in my inbox texting me demming me whatever on the
- 5:30Speaker 1: regular basis who want me to mentor them. But I
- 5:33Speaker 1: know that I'm an exception to the rule in a
- 5:35Speaker 1: lot of ways because a lot of these niggas just
- 5:37Speaker 1: be old men. They don't be o G s. I
- 5:39Speaker 1: know I'm an o G. I try to get the
- 5:41Speaker 1: best advice. I know. I was raised by by real
- 5:45Speaker 1: o gs who gave me great advice. But then I
- 5:47Speaker 1: know a lot of my friends sometimes to give me
- 5:49Speaker 1: bad advice. But because I know that y'all are just
- 5:53Speaker 1: my friends, y'all really gonna be on my side. A
- 5:56Speaker 1: lot of times. I do talk to the o G s.
- 5:58Speaker 1: I have brothers, I have uncles, cousins. I have a
- 6:01Speaker 1: lot of people who are able to sort of get
- 6:02Speaker 1: me and check you know what I'm saying. And I
- 6:05Speaker 1: associate with people who are like me. I don't go
- 6:09Speaker 1: and associate with people who aren't like me. Like I
- 6:12Speaker 1: said earlier, a lot of these men, they try to
- 6:14Speaker 1: level up. If they see a nigga with jury, they
- 6:16Speaker 1: see a nigga with women, he automatically becomes big Bro.
- 6:19Speaker 1: They don't look at his character, don't look at his morals,
- 6:22Speaker 1: don't look at his values. Big Bro bib. But a
- 6:25Speaker 1: lot of look, a lot of them be straight clowns.
- 6:28Speaker 1: They just got money, you know what I'm saying. And
- 6:30Speaker 1: a lot of these niggas want to want money too,
- 6:32Speaker 1: so they're big bro to death thinking they're about to
- 6:34Speaker 1: get some opportunities to some money. And let's be clear,
- 6:37Speaker 1: niggas like niggas with money. To be clear, of course,
- 6:40Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, nigga, No, seriously, nobody likes
- 6:45Speaker 1: a broken nigger. Ben women know that nobody does, um,
- 6:49Speaker 1: and that's that's just real. But I have embraced the
- 6:52Speaker 1: fact that I'm older. I've embraced the fact that I
- 6:55Speaker 1: have a lot of knowledge. I embraced the fact that
- 6:58Speaker 1: you know, Um, I come from a background that has
- 7:01Speaker 1: taught me to be smart. It was cool to be smart,
- 7:03Speaker 1: it was cool to be on point. But I do
- 7:06Speaker 1: know a lot of people don't have that, you know,
- 7:09Speaker 1: Like I feel like a lot of people who come
- 7:11Speaker 1: from that type of background, they fight their whole lives
- 7:14Speaker 1: to be street niggas. And you've got a lot of
- 7:16Speaker 1: these old, these old people who are supposed to be
- 7:19Speaker 1: o g s who try to act like the young niggas.
- 7:22Speaker 1: They want to live vicariously through the through the young niggas,
- 7:25Speaker 1: and like, bro, like just accept the fact you're you're
- 7:27Speaker 1: thirty fives and up. You should be transitioning, you know,
- 7:32Speaker 1: Like like these niggas are not transitioning, like they want
- 7:35Speaker 1: to be young niggas, no growth whatsoever. I've always wanted
- 7:40Speaker 1: to grow. But I always know that I come from
- 7:42Speaker 1: a different background. I'm always being pushed, I'm always being challenged.
- 7:46Speaker 1: Like I understand that I'm different. I knew. So you know,
- 7:50Speaker 1: you don't have any friends that don't have no relationship
- 7:53Speaker 1: with their kids. I have like some that have strained
- 7:57Speaker 1: the relationships with their kids, and and and a lot
- 8:00Speaker 1: of times when I came in, the relationship was already strained.
- 8:03Speaker 1: But I always try to let them know, like, bro,
- 8:06Speaker 1: you know, the court system is here for you. Like
- 8:09Speaker 1: they will argue with their baby mamas. I hear them
- 8:11Speaker 1: on the phone arguing with their baby mamas, and they
- 8:13Speaker 1: try to work everything out with their baby mamas. A
- 8:15Speaker 1: lot of these dudes have you know, charges that may
- 8:17Speaker 1: be on probation. But like dam I own want them
- 8:19Speaker 1: crackers in my business, Bro, I don't want them just
- 8:21Speaker 1: at the third But I always try to let them know, like,
- 8:24Speaker 1: bro handle whatever legal issues you have and go and
- 8:27Speaker 1: get a nigger fresh out of jail, gonna get two
- 8:30Speaker 1: days a week with his child. That's just all is
- 8:34Speaker 1: to it. But I feel like a lot of people,
- 8:36Speaker 1: including women and men, both the children really aren't the issue.
- 8:41Speaker 1: They want each other. They're so bitter towards each other
- 8:45Speaker 1: that the children, not always, it's not always, but the
- 8:50Speaker 1: children are just paused because remember they didn't want the
- 8:52Speaker 1: children at first, that they didn't sit down and playing
- 8:55Speaker 1: out having children. They wanted to be together. And they
- 8:58Speaker 1: got so wrapped up in each other that the nigger
- 9:00Speaker 1: wasn't pulling out or the girl didn't get up whenever
- 9:02Speaker 1: he said, get up off and get upout for getting product.
- 9:06Speaker 1: So they went so love with each other. The kid
- 9:08Speaker 1: was just a product of it. The kid was never
- 9:10Speaker 1: supposed to be here. You see what I'm saying, Many
- 9:14Speaker 1: of us, like many of us, you know what I'm saying.
- 9:16Speaker 1: I mean, I can't say with me because my days
- 9:18Speaker 1: were married, but my mom definitely said I wasn't supposed
- 9:21Speaker 1: to be married. Married, my mom said, and my dad
- 9:26Speaker 1: my mom said, your dad was done at three, Like
- 9:29Speaker 1: I had to hide your pregnancy from him for the
- 9:31Speaker 1: longest until you know, he just got to the point
- 9:33Speaker 1: where I couldn't hide it no more and he was pissed.
- 9:36Speaker 1: He was like like the four ye the fourth. So yeah,
- 9:41Speaker 1: I do understand that. You know, a lot of the
- 9:44Speaker 1: children weren't meant to be here, and a lot of
- 9:46Speaker 1: times people are just navigating parenthood without proper role models
- 9:52Speaker 1: and with kids that they really didn't first the first place.
- 9:55Speaker 1: They wanted the other person. So now both are using
- 9:58Speaker 1: the kids. And for the most hard, a man can
- 10:01Speaker 1: be with a woman and really just I mean a
- 10:04Speaker 1: man cannot be with a women really just want to
- 10:05Speaker 1: be a dad. Men can do that. Yeah, yeah, bitch,
- 10:08Speaker 1: were cool and all, but yeah, I want to see
- 10:10Speaker 1: my son. For the most part, women when they have kids,
- 10:12Speaker 1: they go into a family mode, and the family includes
- 10:16Speaker 1: the child and the dad. So it takes a long
- 10:19Speaker 1: time for them to just settle for the fact that
- 10:21Speaker 1: I'm a single parent and it's not gonna work single
- 10:25Speaker 1: excuse me a parent that's single. I'm a parent that's single.
- 10:28Speaker 1: Or when they finally get over the dude, now they
- 10:31Speaker 1: want the family so bad that they're trying to create
- 10:34Speaker 1: the family with other men who really aren't worthy of
- 10:36Speaker 1: being in the family. You know what I'm saying. So,
- 10:40Speaker 1: and I've been in that predicament before. I have so
- 10:42Speaker 1: many women who tell me my most attractive quality is
- 10:45Speaker 1: the fact I'm a good father. They're like, that is
- 10:49Speaker 1: your most attractive quality. You're attractive in other ways, but
- 10:53Speaker 1: that right there. Run it from you money. But how
- 10:59Speaker 1: does that make you feel knowing that you don't want
- 11:01Speaker 1: kids outside of marriage? Um, he don't want no more
- 11:05Speaker 1: babies at this point period? No, No, I could, I could,
- 11:08Speaker 1: I could do another one, but my but the window
- 11:11Speaker 1: is closing. That's what we're talking about, closing. I don't
- 11:15Speaker 1: want to. I don't want to be fifty with a
- 11:17Speaker 1: tom closing or closed. You said, I want you to
- 11:20Speaker 1: marry a woman who already had kids, I would how old? Um,
- 11:25Speaker 1: they would at least have to be four or five
- 11:29Speaker 1: or better. Job symbol, daddy, chuck, give me a dollar
- 11:33Speaker 1: any problem, especially if she got a daughter, come in, baby,
- 11:38Speaker 1: got two boys, come in, Daddy got you, Cody got you?
- 11:41Speaker 1: But but no. So the only reason why I put
- 11:45Speaker 1: an age in limit on the kids is because when
- 11:48Speaker 1: the kids are a certain age and my daddy depend no,
- 11:53Speaker 1: because I want to catch them young. So they don't
- 11:54Speaker 1: say that can you catch them either? They're like yo, yo, yo,
- 12:03Speaker 1: you can't take me to the studio. I know, well,
- 12:05Speaker 1: be with all the celebrity rapp ship. You know young dolf,
- 12:08Speaker 1: you know the baby, you know that you can't take it.
- 12:12Speaker 1: So but what's wrong with that? Sometimes you know what
- 12:17Speaker 1: I'm saying. But um, when they're that young, they're still
- 12:20Speaker 1: a little bit of an attachment between the mom and dad.
- 12:23Speaker 1: So you gotta be as you you got two or
- 12:28Speaker 1: three month oh, because even if even if, like I said,
- 12:32Speaker 1: a man can be detached and just want to be
- 12:34Speaker 1: a dad. But that woman is gonna get you. Hell,
- 12:37Speaker 1: the woman gonna the first woman after don't be the
- 12:41Speaker 1: don't be the first woman after don't do not know
- 12:44Speaker 1: even the second or the third, the first get up
- 12:47Speaker 1: there and the numbers. Now, she's just another bitch. Last
- 12:49Speaker 1: one didn't last long either, you know, the last mama