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Mental Health Matters Renew Your Mind, Renew Your Life - EP-010 - Shelby Coley · Mental Health Matters - Overcomers.tv

0:09
Speaker 1: Celebrate what Jesus is doing throughout the nation, and rise
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Speaker 1: the poor, heal the broken, free the captives, and bring
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Speaker 1: through Overcomers TV. This inspiring network features everyday people and
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Speaker 1: ministries across America who are putting God's love and action.
0:35
Speaker 1: Tune in to Overcomers TV on your favorite app or
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Speaker 1: streaming platform. It's time to overcome.
0:43
Speaker 2: Well, welcome to another episode of Mental Health Matters. Renew
0:48
Speaker 2: your mind, Renew your life. We have Shelby Coolly with
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Speaker 2: us today. Super excited to have you on and you're
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Speaker 2: with New Creations Christian Counseling in Town to Seek Shelby.
1:00
Speaker 3: Yeah, thanks for having me. I'm excited.
1:03
Speaker 2: Yeah. You know, mental health matters a little play on words,
1:08
Speaker 2: you know, Black lives matters, Blue lives matter, all lives matter.
1:12
Speaker 2: Mental health really matters, because that's otherwise we wouldn't be
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Speaker 2: saying phrases like that the way we think. This is
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Speaker 2: episode ten. We've been doing some different episodes that are
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Speaker 2: on podcasts as well as television, Roku, Apple TV all that.
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Speaker 4: So let me just start with you.
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Speaker 2: Let's tell us a little bit about your faith journey
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Speaker 2: and how God led you even into this industry if
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Speaker 2: you will, or career path.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, I definitely, looking back, can always see God's hand
1:41
Speaker 3: in my life. And I think a lot of things
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Speaker 3: He's kept me on the path, whether I knew what
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Speaker 3: path I was on or not, and He has truly
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Speaker 3: used all things for good and probably moments where I thought,
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Speaker 3: you know, I didn't need him or include him, and
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Speaker 3: He has always been very faithful even whenever I haven't been,
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Speaker 3: and so that's been really amazing. And I think as
2:09
Speaker 3: far as becoming a marriage and family therapist, that I
2:13
Speaker 3: didn't necessarily always know that that was going to be
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Speaker 3: a thing, but always really had an interest in people
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Speaker 3: and always was maybe a mediator at different times and
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Speaker 3: relationships even in childhood, and always had a lot of empathy,
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Speaker 3: could really sit with people and their feelings and things
2:35
Speaker 3: of that nature. And so, you know, over the course
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Speaker 3: of school, schooling, and life, I found marriage and family
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Speaker 3: therapy which was really interesting. It is specifically just very
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Speaker 3: looks at the systems that we holds in or that
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Speaker 3: we grow up in that we didn't have control over,
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Speaker 3: and it looks at the relational pieces of things, So
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Speaker 3: how we communicate, how we relate to one of how
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Speaker 3: we get our needs met. Yeah, and you know, of
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Speaker 3: course we do that depending on our mental health. You know,
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Speaker 3: if we're super anxious, we're going to communicate in unhealthy
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Speaker 3: ways and you know, so all that that plays in.
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Speaker 3: But I think the really beautiful thing about marriage and
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Speaker 3: family therapy is that it really considers all of the
3:28
Speaker 3: contexts that we're in. And of course you know we're
3:32
Speaker 3: not in isolation. Yeah, so it so it really works.
3:36
Speaker 3: I could try to get as many people as they
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Speaker 3: feel comfortable, and we'll come into the room that make
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Speaker 3: a difference in that individual life and start having conversations
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Speaker 3: and start to notice that you made there was that
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Speaker 3: was a little bit of a dig. You know, why
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Speaker 3: do you feel like you need to have that piece
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Speaker 3: come into things? And so right as I found that,
4:00
Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, that's really the space for me
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Speaker 3: because I think, you know, looking at oh this is
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Speaker 3: what's wrong with you, or this person has addiction or
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Speaker 3: depression or bipolar, you could really start to see that
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Speaker 3: a lot of those struggles were created not in isolation,
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Speaker 3: but in the system.
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Speaker 2: That's because now you can google things like those keywords
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Speaker 2: hot topics, and I mean these are diagnosies, right, diagnoses
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Speaker 2: or whatever you want to say that, but we throw
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Speaker 2: them around like a five cent word. Sometimes un label
4:34
Speaker 2: people because there may be some red flag or ear
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Speaker 2: marks or something. We have to be careful and there's
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Speaker 2: a lot of stigma that's associated with labeling people. Your
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Speaker 2: thoughts on that how we label people?
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Speaker 3: Yeah, we sure, we definitely do. I think yes, we
4:51
Speaker 3: all look things up and we love to look at
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Speaker 3: bipolar or you know, all all these different traits and say, oh,
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Speaker 3: you must be this, and we love to label that.
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Speaker 3: And I think the truth is is that all of
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Speaker 3: these things that we would say is a mental health illness,
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Speaker 3: is that we all show signs of different things. We
5:10
Speaker 3: all have times when we lash out and we're super
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Speaker 3: angry that maybe looks like it's out of nowhere. We
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Speaker 3: all have anxiety, we all can lie, and we can
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Speaker 3: all be manipulative. And it's when we start to look
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Speaker 3: at you know, is this really to an extremer it's
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Speaker 3: impacting my health and the health of others. Is kind
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Speaker 3: of when we say, Okay, maybe this is a problem
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Speaker 3: that we needed to fix personally as more of a
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Speaker 3: systemic therapist. I obviously as a therapist, yes, like I diagnose,
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Speaker 3: I look for symptom to categorize, and I try to
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Speaker 3: make sense of what's going on so that I can
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Speaker 3: kind of work on treating that and leading people into
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Speaker 3: a healthier way of living. But people are very quick
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Speaker 3: to want to label themselves and say, you know, I
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Speaker 3: have this illness. And I try to free people up
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Speaker 3: from that and say you just have we just have
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Speaker 3: some stuff going on, you know. I think there's some
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Speaker 3: unmet needs here. I think there's some confusion, and there's
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Speaker 3: some protection. We highly made to self preserve and protect ourselves,
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Speaker 3: and sometimes that can look a little unhealthy, and so
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Speaker 3: I kind of just try to say, someone's set on
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Speaker 3: this way, this is who I am. I try to
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Speaker 3: free them up because we're not we're not mental health.
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Speaker 4: Yeah. Freedom.
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Speaker 2: Then we as Christian counselor we know Jesus is the
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Speaker 2: one who sets the captives free, and some thoughts are
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Speaker 2: really there holding our mind captive. The scripture talks about
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Speaker 2: taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. And
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Speaker 2: even before we went live, we looked at you know,
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Speaker 2: Bible Gateway and typed in the word meditate and some
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Speaker 2: of the things that we meditate on. You know, I've
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Speaker 2: heard it set you know the six inches between your ears.
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Speaker 4: That's your real estate. That's your property. And you know,
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Speaker 4: your garden or whatever you want.
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Speaker 2: And that's why I love this, this graphic we have
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Speaker 2: for our mind. You know, it's either burying good fruit
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Speaker 2: or you got some weeds that you got to pull
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Speaker 2: and maintain your garden. And what we meditate on, what
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Speaker 2: we think on, and we try to as I mean,
7:17
Speaker 2: there's different counselors. Not all counselors are equal. We believe
7:20
Speaker 2: the Bible is true and it's a tool the scriptures
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Speaker 2: do what it does. You know, God told Moses and
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Speaker 2: Joshua one the Book of the Laws will not depart
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Speaker 2: from your mouth. You shall meditate on it day and night.
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Speaker 2: You shall be careful to do according to all that
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Speaker 2: is written in it. But then you will make your
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Speaker 2: wayte prosperous, and then you will have good success. I
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Speaker 2: love that word good success because some people find success
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Speaker 2: lots of different ways, right.
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Speaker 3: Right, And when I think about renewing the mind, definitely,
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Speaker 3: you know in Romans where we think about what is
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Speaker 3: it I talk with people a lot because we have
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Speaker 3: set beliefs and we have negative thoughts that really fill
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Speaker 3: our minds and we have to captive and when we
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Speaker 3: renew it. A lot of times we will talk about thought.
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Speaker 3: It's great to stop a thought, we know, when we're
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Speaker 3: on a negative path, it's great to stop it. But
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Speaker 3: then to really replace it is another key point in things.
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Speaker 3: And so a lot of times, you know, I'll talk
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Speaker 3: about that and what does it mean to renew the mind?
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Speaker 3: And it means to fill it with scripture, right like
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Speaker 3: we're feeling that that we can be we can understand
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Speaker 3: and know and discern the will of God. So that
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Speaker 3: means a lot of times someone saying there.
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Speaker 2: So you mentioned that Roman's verse and that's why we
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Speaker 2: got the subtitle for the show. In Romans twelve, he says,
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Speaker 2: I appeal to you there, for brothers, by the mercies
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Speaker 2: of God, to present your bodies as living sacrifices wholly
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Speaker 2: acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. And don't
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Speaker 2: be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the
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Speaker 2: renewing every mind, that that by testing you may just
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Speaker 2: earn what the will of God is, what is good
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Speaker 2: and acceptable and perfect, and I think ultimately we're all
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Speaker 2: trying to figure out what God wants, what's good, acceptable
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Speaker 2: and perfect, and man with social media and everybody has
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Speaker 2: a platform to tell you what they think.
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Speaker 4: We're all over the map.
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Speaker 2: And what they think is right or wrong north or south,
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Speaker 2: east or west. It's fair to say some people's compasses
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Speaker 2: are broken.
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Speaker 3: Clebrate their compass definitely, and we do, I think, replacing
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Speaker 3: it with scripture and knowing really you know, ultimately, I
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Speaker 3: think whenever you know, you kind of ask me because
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Speaker 3: I do get to be in this Christian counseling place.
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Speaker 3: When I first realize i'd be working at New Creations,
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Speaker 3: I was like, Wow, how do you incorporate God into therapy?
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Speaker 3: Because I think we're trained so much like, oh, be
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Speaker 3: accepting of everyone's beliefs, which of course that is a
9:49
Speaker 3: huge part of it, but it felt like, oh, you
9:51
Speaker 3: don't get to talk about God in therapy, and so
9:54
Speaker 3: to get to sit in this place where I get
9:56
Speaker 3: to bring God's design for marriage in couples counts. And
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Speaker 3: obviously we do get a lot of clients who are
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Speaker 3: specifically seeking a Christian perspective and that's such a blessing.
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Speaker 3: And so getting to fill in the gaps with scripture
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Speaker 3: has been the most amazing experience for me, more than
10:17
Speaker 3: I could have ever imagined. And that goes back to
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Speaker 3: God keeps us on the path and He's faithful regardless
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Speaker 3: of whether it me feel the confident in walking in
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Speaker 3: his ways. And so it's been really, it's been really great,
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Speaker 3: and it is. It is because there's a lot of
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Speaker 3: confusions getting to be able to speak truth intos really.
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Speaker 2: And you know, even Proverbs has a few verses like
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Speaker 2: there's safety in a multitude of counselors and some people
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Speaker 2: even may think of as sign as a weakness. Again,
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Speaker 2: the stigmas around counseling. We do see our small support
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Speaker 2: groups just letting people talk and have a place where
10:54
Speaker 2: they talk. I know church is I believe it has
10:55
Speaker 2: gotten too organized. I can preach until Jesus comes back.
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Speaker 2: But on Wednesday nights we small group where people get
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Speaker 2: a chance to share. Almost seven eight times we ask
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Speaker 2: questions and everybody starts talking. I learn more about the
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Speaker 2: people in my church on Wednesday night than Sunday just
11:09
Speaker 2: preaching at them. So people need a place to you know,
11:12
Speaker 2: to back up the dump truck and unload a little bit.
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Speaker 4: Sometimes I'll unload all of it. You're like, whoa, But
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Speaker 4: you know.
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Speaker 2: You got to discern what's the most important thing we
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Speaker 2: need to tackle first, you know, but they need a
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Speaker 2: safe place. Do you find that some people have a
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Speaker 2: hard time making that first calls, making that first appointment
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Speaker 2: with someone like you and your team at New Creations
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Speaker 2: Christian Counseling. The numbers rolling along the bottom five O, five, four.
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Speaker 4: Two, six eighty six. So you've been thinking.
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Speaker 2: About it, Just call and somebody friendly will answer the
11:43
Speaker 2: phone and say, hey, how can we help you?
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Speaker 4: And that's really what you're here for is to help people, right.
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Speaker 3: Oh definitely. Yeah, there is a stigma and some people
11:53
Speaker 3: come because they're you know, spouse needs, you know, whatever
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Speaker 3: that looks like. And No, what I noticed is that
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Speaker 3: people we don't really want to carry our baggage. Sometimes
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Speaker 3: we feel like we have to. We have to carry
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Speaker 3: all of the weights of the things in our lives.
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Speaker 3: And once you sit in a place where you don't
12:14
Speaker 3: have to carry it, I think we do want to
12:16
Speaker 3: process things. Some people really want to process them and
12:20
Speaker 3: other people it's hard. But ultimately we are relational beings.
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Speaker 3: We were made for relationship. And to carry each other's burdens,
12:31
Speaker 3: and so I think we naturally wants that opportunity. Once
12:34
Speaker 3: we say yes and we put ourselves in that position,
12:37
Speaker 3: what I find is that people really are appreciative of that.
12:41
Speaker 3: And there are days when it's really hard, hard because
12:44
Speaker 3: it's not always easy, and sometimes we come here to
12:49
Speaker 3: change and so we're held accountable and we're difficult things,
12:52
Speaker 3: and that can be really difficult at times. But I
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Speaker 3: think most most people they want to be happier if
13:04
Speaker 3: you're and so once we get started, I think, right,
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Speaker 3: we're happy to do that.
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Speaker 5: Yeah.
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Speaker 4: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: And another couple verses, we talked about sharing today and
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Speaker 2: from a biblical perspective, and we don't everyone listening may
13:21
Speaker 2: or may not be a believer. But Philippians four six
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Speaker 2: through eight is a pretty interesting area of the letter
13:29
Speaker 2: where he says, don't be anxious about anything, but in everything,
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Speaker 2: by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be
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Speaker 2: made known to God. And the peace of God, which
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Speaker 2: surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds
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Speaker 2: in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable,
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Speaker 2: whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever
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Speaker 2: is commendable, if there's any excellence, if there is anything
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Speaker 2: praise worthy. Meditate on these things, and the peace of
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Speaker 2: God will guard your will, guard your heart as well.
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Speaker 2: That's first t I cut it short there, but I
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Speaker 2: mean that sounds like what everybody's looking for. People get anxious,
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Speaker 2: and this is the recipe. Go to God, talk him
14:17
Speaker 2: about it. But what we meditate on in that little
14:20
Speaker 2: laundry list of the good stuff, because it's so easy
14:22
Speaker 2: to meditate on the bad stuff, which affects our emotions
14:26
Speaker 2: and our feelings and our spirits. And you talked about
14:29
Speaker 2: needs not being met, expectations all that. I mean, there's
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Speaker 2: a lot there. What's your thoughts to some of that?
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Speaker 6: You know?
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Speaker 3: I think that it can be discouraging at times to
14:44
Speaker 3: read some scriptures and think, well, gosh, how do I
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Speaker 3: not be anxious right now?
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Speaker 6: Like?
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Speaker 3: How do I just give it to God? And that's
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Speaker 3: God's heart for us is that we would trust him
14:54
Speaker 3: and that we would know that he loves us and
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Speaker 3: that he is a good father, and that hey, like
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Speaker 3: I got it, you know, I that is definitely where
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Speaker 3: he wants us to be. However, there are moments when
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Speaker 3: we're in the pit and we read verses like that
15:07
Speaker 3: and it's like it just seems so out of reach
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Speaker 3: and untouchable. And I think that's where the counseling can
15:11
Speaker 3: really come in hanh and and and just help us
15:14
Speaker 3: walk through things, because sometimes it is really challenging. And
15:17
Speaker 3: these anxieties and these unmet needs they have been in
15:21
Speaker 3: childhood and our brain gets wired to have them, and
15:25
Speaker 3: so we have to kind of go back and think
15:27
Speaker 3: about and and rework some different things. And it can
15:31
Speaker 3: be you know, when the Bible says things like you know,
15:35
Speaker 3: dying to ourselves and again renewing our mind. And you know,
15:39
Speaker 3: it's not just always a cake walk. There's work to
15:43
Speaker 3: be done. There's sanctification that has to be done, and
15:48
Speaker 3: that's a challenge. It's painful, you know, as you we
15:51
Speaker 3: I think all of us Christians, it's work.
15:55
Speaker 2: Everybody'd be doing it, and that's that's easier said than done.
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Speaker 4: And like you.
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Speaker 2: Said this verse, I know, when we drive from like
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Speaker 2: here to Albuquerque, we're like cruising through the reds at
16:05
Speaker 2: seventy seventy five or seventy eight if you want to
16:08
Speaker 2: do eight over like me.
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Speaker 7: And then you come into Berno Leo where it changes
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Speaker 7: the fifty five and I'm like, I don't feel like
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Speaker 7: driving fifty five just because I saw a sign, and
16:18
Speaker 7: then down to forty five and thirty five you still,
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Speaker 7: you know, Or if you're angry and someone says, don't
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Speaker 7: be angry, I'm like, I am angry.
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Speaker 2: You're telling me not to be angry does not make
16:27
Speaker 2: it go away. Reading this verse be anxious for nothing
16:30
Speaker 2: does not make anxiety go away, but it starts leading
16:33
Speaker 2: you towards some ideas that talk about it, pray about it,
16:37
Speaker 2: and over time that peace of God that surpasses all
16:41
Speaker 2: understanding is amazing, and it really only comes to people
16:44
Speaker 2: of faith because if you're really trust in God, I mean,
16:47
Speaker 2: this could be a really horrible circumstance situation, but you're thinking,
16:51
Speaker 2: I don't know, somehow God's going to work it out
16:53
Speaker 2: right now.
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Speaker 4: It doesn't look.
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Speaker 2: Good, but He can even give you peace in the
16:57
Speaker 2: midst of the craziest storms. And it does makes sense
17:00
Speaker 2: because logically you should be freaking out and everybody around
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Speaker 2: you even freaking out, but you're sitting there with this
17:05
Speaker 2: piece and you don't know why because you believe God's
17:08
Speaker 2: in the midst of it, and somehow we're going to
17:10
Speaker 2: get through it. And that's faith. And you need a
17:12
Speaker 2: measure of faith to whether any storm for that matter.
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Speaker 2: I don't know how people do it without faith.
17:20
Speaker 3: I don't think I could do it. I don't think
17:21
Speaker 3: I was doing it well without faith.
17:23
Speaker 2: So now you teach and share from experience.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's good, Yeah, definitely. I know we've got about
17:34
Speaker 4: five minutes left before we leave.
17:36
Speaker 2: I don't want to make sure you talk about what
17:37
Speaker 2: you want to talk about, what else is on your
17:39
Speaker 2: heart that you will maybe wanted to bring up or
17:41
Speaker 2: talk about.
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Speaker 3: You know, I just think that right now you know
17:51
Speaker 3: where my heart is. What you know, you're going to
17:53
Speaker 3: talk about mental health matters, and it's just that that
17:57
Speaker 3: just that family piece is something you know. And marriages,
18:03
Speaker 3: I think that's what really makes life meaningful. And and
18:07
Speaker 3: of course, like of course that's under attack all the time,
18:11
Speaker 3: and and we tarry each other apart, and we hurt
18:15
Speaker 3: each other, and we love each each other, and we try,
18:19
Speaker 3: and I think that people try really hard to understand
18:23
Speaker 3: one another in nes work, and we just get lost
18:26
Speaker 3: in again shame defense mechanisms like blaming or withdrawing or
18:36
Speaker 3: shutting down or you know, demanding an answer, and we
18:42
Speaker 3: were just trying really hard, and I think that it
18:46
Speaker 3: would be then it's planned to get in there and
18:51
Speaker 3: plant seeds of deceit and jealousy and anger and fear
18:54
Speaker 3: and pride is a very big one. You know, I
18:59
Speaker 3: shouldn't have to say sorry, it's great. Sure, I shouldn't
19:06
Speaker 3: have to feel this way anymore. It's like and it's
19:11
Speaker 3: a very confusing, confusing time for parenting. There's just a
19:14
Speaker 3: lot of attack on children and how we should raise
19:18
Speaker 3: them and all of that. So I think when I
19:21
Speaker 3: think of mental health, I do. I love to kind
19:23
Speaker 3: of look at the at those inner interrelational pieces and
19:28
Speaker 3: you know how God would tell us to love one
19:30
Speaker 3: another and shape our character so that we can be relational.
19:33
Speaker 3: And I think that's something that I just really love
19:37
Speaker 3: I want to promote when we think about mental health,
19:39
Speaker 3: I think we typically think about what goes on right
19:41
Speaker 3: in our heads, But what goes on right now in
19:44
Speaker 3: our heads impacts how I treat my my husband, my
19:53
Speaker 3: cowork and my choice. And I guess that's kind of
19:55
Speaker 3: something I would like to just poll to do. Is like,
20:00
Speaker 3: you know, yeah, if you want to go in for
20:02
Speaker 3: your own self. I love that. That's great. And also
20:06
Speaker 3: if you think, you know, me and my teenage child
20:09
Speaker 3: could probably talk about something in a different way like
20:11
Speaker 3: this is not going well, just encouraging, like you know,
20:16
Speaker 3: and look for that mediation and in a really healthy,
20:21
Speaker 3: non biased way, but like in a professional therapeutic way.
20:24
Speaker 3: And the conversations that are had when we start to
20:27
Speaker 3: dismantle those unhealthy ways that we meet our needs are
20:34
Speaker 3: really powerful and that can do a multiple multitude of
20:38
Speaker 3: good in people. So I think that's kind of where
20:41
Speaker 3: my heart is.
20:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you made a pretty important statement that you know,
20:48
Speaker 2: the family is under attack. There's just no way to
20:52
Speaker 2: else to say it. And I don't you know, there
20:56
Speaker 2: is spiritual warfare, and you know there's some people so
20:59
Speaker 2: extreme you think the devil's behind anything that you know
21:01
Speaker 2: that that smells bad, And I think we it takes
21:05
Speaker 2: the responsibility off of us. There's a lot of cause
21:07
Speaker 2: and effect going on. You know, you throw a rock
21:11
Speaker 2: and a pack of dogs and the hit one is
21:13
Speaker 2: gonna howl. So some things we say, some things we do,
21:17
Speaker 2: you know, hurts people and they're gonna howl and bark back.
21:20
Speaker 2: And we got to deal with our own actions and
21:22
Speaker 2: on up to them and you know, take that honest assessment.
21:25
Speaker 2: That's kind of what the counselor does is when you
21:27
Speaker 2: retell it. I know, when you do marriage counseling, you
21:30
Speaker 2: gotta have both in the room. And I refuse, even
21:33
Speaker 2: as a pastor, to listen to one the wife tell
21:36
Speaker 2: me everything that the husband's doing without him being in
21:39
Speaker 2: the room. Then when I go to talk to the husband,
21:41
Speaker 2: he's telling me everything that she's doing. I'm like, Wow,
21:44
Speaker 2: she didn't tell me any of that. So I'm like,
21:46
Speaker 2: if we're going to talk about your relationship, we're going
21:49
Speaker 2: to do it together.
21:50
Speaker 4: So same with the court of law.
21:51
Speaker 8: You know, the witnesses, the jury, there's both sides across
21:56
Speaker 8: a cross examination to make sure that all that because
22:00
Speaker 8: says that, you know, the first person who states his
22:03
Speaker 8: case seems right until the second person comes along and
22:07
Speaker 8: examines them.
22:08
Speaker 2: So you can get all fired up with someone when
22:10
Speaker 2: they tell you everything that they're someone in their family
22:12
Speaker 2: did this, this, this, this and this, and you're like
22:14
Speaker 2: you start getting angry with them, Wow, how dare they
22:16
Speaker 2: do that? Blah blah blah blah blah. But when you
22:18
Speaker 2: actually talk to you that the person, it's a different
22:20
Speaker 2: side of the coin. It's a different story. So as
22:24
Speaker 2: the Body of Christ, and that's kind of why we
22:25
Speaker 2: do this show that we're going to get everybody licensed
22:28
Speaker 2: to do what you do. I mean, sometimes you've got
22:30
Speaker 2: to get to the professionals to do it. But I
22:32
Speaker 2: think the Body of Christ should be able to minister
22:34
Speaker 2: one to another and help do some biblical counseling and
22:37
Speaker 2: help put the fires out until they can get to
22:40
Speaker 2: your office.
22:41
Speaker 4: You know.
22:41
Speaker 2: So if Christians can learn a little bit about how
22:44
Speaker 2: to do some counseling, well.
22:45
Speaker 4: You know.
22:47
Speaker 2: Anyway, those are some thoughts.
22:50
Speaker 3: Definitely. Finally, I think doing every you know, more can
23:00
Speaker 3: or dissilship for sure. Yeah, with couples counseling, it can
23:03
Speaker 3: be a challenge. I think most of the time, I
23:05
Speaker 3: can really again going back to those needs and those
23:07
Speaker 3: hurts and those pains. I think that people can have
23:11
Speaker 3: two very different opinions and I can look at both
23:13
Speaker 3: and say, you know what, this makes a lot of sense.
23:15
Speaker 3: That's why you're feeling that way. And you know, maybe
23:20
Speaker 3: it was uncool to say that, or maybe it was
23:21
Speaker 3: really painful for them to hear, but you know, I
23:23
Speaker 3: can see that and I can see that place hurt
23:26
Speaker 3: from you, and I can see this place of her
23:29
Speaker 3: and you and I can see how y'all are bring
23:31
Speaker 3: that to each other and it's just not going well.
23:34
Speaker 3: So it's not we don't have to be right. Neither
23:38
Speaker 3: have to be right. We just have to be heard
23:39
Speaker 3: and understood and validated and looked at. And when we're
23:45
Speaker 3: alone sometimes we can't get there because we both want
23:48
Speaker 3: to be heard. And so when we come together just
23:51
Speaker 3: a different way. It's just a different process and it
23:53
Speaker 3: doesn't have to be forever. And yeah, very helpful.
23:57
Speaker 2: Well, there's a saying hurt people, hurt people, and when
24:01
Speaker 2: we're hurt, we can easily start insulting or do name calling,
24:05
Speaker 2: which makes things worse. Now you've got to deal with,
24:07
Speaker 2: you know, the label of the allegation or whatever. But yeah, yeah,
24:12
Speaker 2: so just good communication again, because what we hear, what.
24:16
Speaker 4: We see, what you know, all that affects what we're thinking.
24:19
Speaker 4: And that's the mental health matters. What we look at.
24:22
Speaker 2: We've got to be careful what we're looking at, what
24:24
Speaker 2: we're listening to. And it's getting some safe places. I know,
24:28
Speaker 2: you've got to run to your next thing, And I
24:31
Speaker 2: would love for you to lead our viewers and prayer.
24:33
Speaker 2: I'm a ladies first guy. If you can lead us,
24:35
Speaker 2: I'll close. Sound good?
24:37
Speaker 3: That sounds great, all right, Heavenly Father God, I just
24:42
Speaker 3: thank you for this opportunity to speak about, you know,
24:47
Speaker 3: counseling and the ability to bring you into it. And
24:54
Speaker 3: I just thank you that you wrote the book and
24:57
Speaker 3: you wrote the letter on you know, dear children, this
25:01
Speaker 3: is this is what I would I would ask of
25:04
Speaker 3: you for your good and for your benefit, and Lord
25:07
Speaker 3: that you just love us so much and so so
25:12
Speaker 3: much want us to be well and want us to
25:17
Speaker 3: cast our care on you. When I just thank you
25:21
Speaker 3: that you are the cat and who needed to hear
25:24
Speaker 3: these things would get exactly what you are hoping to
25:28
Speaker 3: send to them out of it. And I just pray
25:29
Speaker 3: that seeds would be planted and that over time they'd
25:32
Speaker 3: be wired and grow. And I just thank you Lord
25:34
Speaker 3: again for this opportunity and I lift it up to you.
25:40
Speaker 4: Amen.
25:41
Speaker 2: Lord, I thank you for Shelby. I thank you for
25:43
Speaker 2: her role in our lives, our ministry and again our
25:46
Speaker 2: friendship and being able to do life in this four
25:49
Speaker 2: Corners area, Farmington area and to shine our light and
25:52
Speaker 2: how Lord you've you're equipping us to be your hands,
25:56
Speaker 2: your feet, your voice, a safe place to minister and
25:59
Speaker 2: counsel and one another. Pray for her and her family
26:02
Speaker 2: as well and her career. And this podcast video cast
26:07
Speaker 2: that we've decided to do the first Thursday of every
26:09
Speaker 2: month show us what next topics we can cover and
26:12
Speaker 2: what we need to talk about. That the here would
26:16
Speaker 2: be blessed and encourage and edified. And if anyone needs us, Lord,
26:20
Speaker 2: they would just have that courage and strength to make
26:22
Speaker 2: the phone caller to reach out and see how we
26:24
Speaker 2: can get them plugged into a place and some folks
26:27
Speaker 2: that can help them with whatever their struggles might be.
26:30
Speaker 2: We pray all this in Jesus' name. Amen and Amen, awesome.
26:35
Speaker 3: Man, Thank you so much. I appreciate it.
26:38
Speaker 2: You're welcome Shelby again. If you want to learn a
26:41
Speaker 2: little bit more about Shelby Coley and New Creations Christian Counseling,
26:44
Speaker 2: give them a call five oh five four zero two
26:48
Speaker 2: six eight eight six. And if you have any ideas
26:51
Speaker 2: on topics or questions, you can make some social media
26:55
Speaker 2: remarks down below and we'll pray about it. Maybe we'll
26:58
Speaker 2: adjust it next month.
26:58
Speaker 4: Sound good?
27:00
Speaker 3: That does all right? Thanks check, I appreciate Yep.
27:04
Speaker 4: You're welcome, God bless, have a great night.
27:06
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