Latest / The Difficult Boss Podcast with Fexingo: Managing Up, Toxic Managers, and Workplace Survival / How to Manage a Boss Who Never Gives You Credit
Transcript
- Lucas: You know, there's a moment in every career where you realize you've been working like a dog for months, and your boss just... doesn't seem to notice. No 'good job', no acknowledgment in the team meeting. It's like you're invisible. Luna: And it's not just about ego. When you don't get credit, it can stall your career. If nobody knows you did the work, you can't get promoted. Lucas: Exactly. A study from Harvard Business Review found that employees who regularly share progress updates with their managers are perceived as more competent. But most people don't do that because it feels like bragging. Luna: So what's the fix? Do we just have to get over the awkwardness and start selling ourselves? Lucas: Partly. But there's a smarter way to do it. It's called 'credit framing'. You don't say 'look what I did'. You say 'here's the progress on our project'. Luna: That sounds subtle, but I can see how it might work. It's about shifting the focus from you to the work. Lucas: Right. And it starts with something simple: send your boss a weekly email that summarizes what you accomplished and what you're working on next. No more than three bullets. It's not about bragging, it's about keeping them in the loop. Luna: But what if your boss just doesn't care about emails? Some people are more face to face. Lucas: Good point. You can adapt it. Maybe it's a quick chat at the end of the week, or a summary in your one-on-one. The key is to make your work visible in a way that feels natural to your boss. Luna: So you're saying pick your battle. If your boss is an email person, email. If they're a talker, talk. Lucas: Exactly. And the format matters less than the consistency. If you do it once, it's weird. If you do it every week, it becomes part of your rhythm. Luna: But let's be real—some bosses are just stingy with praise. No matter what you do, they're not going to say 'good job'. So what then? Lucas: That's when you have to turn your attention to the documentation. Keep a 'brag file'—a running list of your wins, positive feedback from clients, anything that shows your impact. That becomes your ammunition for performance reviews. Luna: Because at the end of the day, the review is where it counts, right? That's when you can say 'here's what I did' without it being awkward. Lucas: Exactly. And if your boss still doesn't acknowledge you even with that evidence, then you have to decide: is this a person I can work with long-term? Or is it time to move on? Luna: But before you get to that extreme, what about having a direct conversation? Like, 'hey, I'd love more feedback on my work'. Is that too forward? Lucas: Not at all. In fact, it can be the most refreshing thing. You can say something like 'I really value your feedback, and I'd like to know what I'm doing well so I can do more of it'. That's not needy—that's strategic. Luna: It's asking for what you need, instead of hoping they'll read your mind. I like that. Lucas: And you can frame it as a win-win: if you know what they value, you can deliver more of it. That's good for them too. Luna: What about when your boss takes credit for your work in a meeting? That's a whole other level of frustrating. Lucas: That's a different beast. But even then, you can use credit framing. Before the meeting, you can send your boss a summary of your work and say 'this is what I'll present if you need it'. Then in the meeting, if they present it, it's likely they'll mention you because it's obvious. Luna: That's a clever way to protect yourself without picking a fight. Lucas: Exactly. And if they still don't credit you, that's a red flag. But at least you've done your part. Luna: So what's the biggest mistake people make when they don't get credit? Lucas: They go silent. They stop sharing progress, they stop speaking up in meetings. They feel unappreciated, so they withdraw. And that only makes things worse. Luna: Because then your boss thinks you're not doing anything. It's a vicious cycle. Lucas: Right. So the first step is to break that cycle. Even if you're frustrated, keep communicating. Keep documenting. Keep making your work visible. Luna: And if you do that, and it still doesn't change? That's when you start polishing your resume. Lucas: Yeah, at some point you have to accept that you can't change your boss. You can only change how you respond. Luna: That's a good note to end on. But before we go, I've been thinking about something we discussed earlier. The idea of making your work visible—it's not just about your boss, it's about building a reputation. And that's something we all need to work on, even outside of this specific problem. Lucas: Totally. And that's actually why we started a community page for listeners who want to talk about these kinds of challenges. Because sometimes you need a sounding board. If you've found this episode helpful, consider supporting the show at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It keeps us ad-free and helps us keep having these conversations. Luna: Yeah, every little bit helps, and we're grateful for anyone who's been with us for a while. Lucas: Alright, back to the topic. So we've talked about credit framing, documenting your wins, and having direct conversations. The one thing we haven't mentioned is the mindset shift. Luna: What do you mean? Lucas: You have to stop tying your self-worth to your boss's words. Your value isn't determined by whether they say 'good job'. It's determined by the work you do and the impact you make. Luna: That's easier said than done, but I get it. You have to be your own cheerleader sometimes. Lucas: Exactly. And that internal confidence will actually come across in your interactions. When you don't need the external validation, you're calmer, you're more articulate, and people respect that. Luna: So it's not just about managing your boss—it's about managing yourself. Lucas: That's the real lesson. You can't control what your boss does, but you can control how you show up. And that's what ultimately determines your career trajectory. Luna: Great point to leave us with. Thanks for listening, everyone. We'll catch you next time. Lucas: Take care.