Latest / Deeply Well with Devi Brown / Compassion isn't Selective with Terrace Martin

Transcript

Compassion isn't Selective with Terrace Martin · Deeply Well with Devi Brown

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Mm from grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl in
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: two fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: to always keep their eyes open. You be queen, you
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: were fired. You will pass through centuries on the hands
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: of your daughters. They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: backs of diamond eyed school children who growing into hymnals
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: recited by amethyst holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: out of the windows of restored ALCHEMYO cheriots to keep
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: the warmth of their blood. Be wise, be smart, being black,
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Opal Brown courts, bloodstone and prayer. Be every form of
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Jim se King told, scribe, scribe, told son, son, told wife,
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: wife told her daughter, and daughter told the ant is.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: And the ancestors told me that you would come to
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: give wisdom. Thousands They said you would come. Dropping. Hey,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: it's Debbie Brown. Welcome back to another episode of the
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Dropping Jim's Podcast. We are at episode number eleven and
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: I have a super funny story, funny to me story. Uh.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Today's guest is a very very dear old friend of mine.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: We have done some really cool creative work together. He
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: is a musical genius, um so many albums, so many projects,
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: so many incredible artists that he has worked with and
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: one Grammys with on his roster. He is a father,
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: He is a jazz musician, He is a hip hop musician.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: He scores films. I mean, like, this guy is everything.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: He is your favorite artist, probably favorite producer, perhaps instrumentalist. Uh,
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: welcome to the show, Taras Smart. Hey, hey, but I'm
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: disappointed you left out one thing. I make the most
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: amazing vegan tacos. Right, Okay, Now, every this is the thing.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Every day I've been like looking up recipes and every
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: day I go in and make vegan. Yeah. Well you
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: know what, just recently I tried the Popeye chicken salwich.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: You did, so you decided murder and eat an animal
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: because of black Twitter? Why I don't think Popeye is
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: real chicken? Okay, oh god, it's a good. Wait. So
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: let me give everybody a little background. So Terrace and I,
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: first of all, we go way, way, way, way way back. Um,
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: and for for anybody listening right now that is like
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: familiar with my career over the years. And you know
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: my first running radio, which is right which was right
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: here in l A. Then you'll remember that Terrice and
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: I had a very special project together that dropped in
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: two thousand and ten. We did a mixtape album together
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: called Here My Dear, and we had pretty much everybody
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: on it, probably before you became familiar with their music,
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Like who were some of the artists on Here My Dear?
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: Um you and I, Dom Kennedy, uh, Kendrick Lamar with Khalifa, yeah,
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: uh man. So many people shot up to bad Luck,
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: bad Luck Problem, you know a lot of those guys.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: And then we had some O G s on it,
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: like Charlie Wilson, Charlie Wilson, Snoop Dogg, Corrupt, DJ Quick,
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: DJ Quick, DJ Quick, J Black Tone. Uh. Yeah. It
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: was a really, really special and that was a special
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: time because that was good. The Internet hadn't yet found
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: its place all the way yet. It was still it
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: was like we were all growing together with the internet.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: I was like talking you and I was I remember
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: explaining to you what blogs were and why it mattered
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: if your music got on them or not. Yeah. I
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: was like, wait, so we so wait, no, so you
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: don't get paid, so you give it away, so you
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: work hard and give it away, Like this makes no
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: to me. Where is my publishing. Yeah, yeah, that was
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: that was a really it was such a special time
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: for like emerging hip hop, but specifically for like l
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: A musicians. It was. I can't really think of a
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: time more special. Also, I'm biased because I was a
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: part of it, but well now it was, it was,
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: it was, it was. You know, it's funny. It was
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: a special time for us in l A. And what
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: I've come to find out by traveling it was it
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: was a special time for the world. Yeah. Yeah, you
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: were able to really have access to the really pure
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: musical offerings of people, not not the offerings that people
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: from a city made to hopefully get picked up in
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: other markets. Like you were no matter where in the
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: world you were, you could be a fly on the
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: wall of like a vibe happening here wherever. You could
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: cut the middleman out. Yeah, you could cut opinions out.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: You could cut that's not good enough so you can't
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: put your music out, Yeah, like you could be your
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: own an or you can run your own career with
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: the internet. So true, and and it's really before because
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: and I know I say this all the time. So
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: for y'all that are like warriors of the podcast, you
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: like you always talking about what Twitter used to be,
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: but you know, around around that time, it was you know,
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Twitter really was just a place that like industry people
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: were on and just like sharing thoughts that you know,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: it was the same like you were saying whatever you
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: wanted to say. Um, but there weren't that many people there,
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: so it still felt really small. And I was doing
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: like a lot of like music marketing at that time,
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Like I had like email blast list that would go out. Yeah,
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: I used to call you every morning, Okay, it's time.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: It's the time we do ten because ten is the
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: right time now because over there and I'm like, yes,
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: they sent it to Wrap Radar, Yes, they sent it
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: to you know too, Dope boys, and yeah, I'm still
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: friends at all them because of that time. Yeah, at
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: that moment, that's how I do you know beat out,
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: That's how I know all that and that's that's how
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: I know him because of that old time shout out
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: to in y n um. Yeah it was God, that
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: was such a good time. Someone has to do a
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: documentary about that time, because it was just like we'd
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: be at all these shows and all of these events,
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: and it before people were like at that time. I
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: don't even believe Twitter had an option for you to
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: share a picture like you had to like sign up
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: for a Twitter Pick account and then you put that
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: U R L in your Twitter feed, so the people
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: weren't sharing in that rapid kind of way. A BlackBerry, yes, BBM,
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: you know, has a good amount, probably the most, the
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: most in l A that has a lot of that
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: air on footage is calmatic. Oh, I would believe. And
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: every he was there, allowed to hear my dear said
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: he was there at those quick shows. He was a kid.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: He but he always had a caramel taping everything, so
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: he has a lot of that stuff. You know, Yes,
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: it's crazy, and you know, Terris and I went on
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: to do, um, how many more projects do we did together?
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: Three here, my dear, and then expect cease and desist
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: because Kim Kardashtian tried to sue us. She tried, she tried.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: We ended up on TMZ. Oh what a world that
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: was fun? Ye honestly that and that. Speaking about early Twitter,
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: I remember when Twitter was actually pure, pure, It wasn't
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: like perception hadn't yet hit Twitter yet, like the art
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: of perception hadn't hit it yet. Where it's like the
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: money by the ear Vibe had. Yeah, people weren't really curating,
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: um the way they wanted to be perceived by others.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: You were just kind of like sharing yourself and whatever.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: Was Yeah, Twitter was Twitter, and still Twitter is a
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: good thing. I know a lot of people that are
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: still on it a lot. I'm on it like once
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: three weeks. Maybe I'm on Twitter. Yeah me too. I'm
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: not really on Twitter anymore. Um. But also it's just
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: more than anything, I think Twitter is so fantastic for
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: people that give like real time commentary, that are really
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: like doing things as they're happening with other people. And
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: that used to be my jam. That's not anymore. Um So,
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: Like I used to like live tweet all the awards
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: shows or live tweets shows or live tweet concerts, you know,
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: and and like be like so and so just came
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: on the stage, um, which was amazing for the time.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: But now it's like I'm just so unplugged from so
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: many things. Like I'm just like I usually will hear
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: news like three days later, like or like yeah, people
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: will be like yo, you hear what happened is so
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: and so, And I'm like no, I did not now
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: because the Instagram, you could, you know, everything is yeah,
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: and everything is like Twitter mixed with visual and you
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Yeah, the most I do is
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: probably my story is more than anything. I just don't like,
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: I'm just in a space, especially the last two years,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: where I don't really and this could absolutely change, but
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: I just don't really feel compelled, and not in a
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: judgment way, like not in a way that's like I
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: don't do social media like no, it's just like, um,
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: I just really that's what I spent my whole adult
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: life doing since inception, for work and for pleasure, and
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: I just want to take some time to like experience
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: life more purely and just like live my day to day.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: So I have to really force myself to remember to
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: like post because I'm like, okay, well I still gotta
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: you know, I tell you, and quite frankly, I and
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: my this is my opinion about everything. Um. You know.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: I work with a lot of different people in different
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: fasts of life, and the one thing that we all
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: have in common is, um, when when you're really working
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: and really unfolding things and trying to develop something new,
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: things that haven't been done before or hit the reset
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: button in your life and trying to grow you. You you,
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: you really don't have as much time as people think
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: to go on those things because as you're looking at it,
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: you're missing so much life go past you. So I've learned,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: like the people that like I'm people have to call
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: me like, man, you have to post more, and I'm like,
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: I don't have something to say. I'm working on this
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: project out Hey, y'all back in the studio. It's kind
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: of like it's you know, I think it's okay to
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: have some bit of mystery about it and just post
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: when you can't. You know, I don't think it's a
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: big thing. Yeah, I think too. It's like if you
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: it also depends like what you're after, like and if
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: you like where you're at in your career, because if
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: you're younger and frestrated, doing that is absolutely important because
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: you're getting on people's radars, you know. Um, well you
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: also have time to do it, yeah, and time because yeah, yeah,
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: that's part of your regiment. Yeah yeah, yeah, So it
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: becomes part of your work, it's part of your grind.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: I think too. It's like for me, you know, we're
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: both on the older end of the millennial curve, but
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: also like I had a I had a really kind
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: of big career really young, Like I started in radio
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: at eighteen in l A in a special time. So
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: like the kind of access and influence I had really young. Um,
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: and that went on for like over a decade. Now
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: I'm just kind of like, Okay, I don't care about
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: any any of it, you know. Um So just I
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: guess just kind of in the sense of like not
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: a burnout. I think that's that's a hartiable word. Yeah,
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: Like that's just not Yeah, it's interesting because now it
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: is important to build your following, it to get your
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: numbers up, and to make sure you're doing all of
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: these things. But I kind of just feel like I
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: had been doing that for so long before it became
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: a thing to do that. Now I'm just I don't
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: want to say over it, but I'm just that's just
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: not how I communicate any longer. Know, that's not how
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: I share myself any longer. I kind of want to
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: I kind of want to cut a little bit of
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: the access that people have to me, you know, because
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: I really want to just focus on being present here
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: and now and like building the relationships I already have
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: further and you know, yeah for me, and I'm I'm
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: very similar to that. For me, I'm still like like
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: I have mentors and I still inspired to to maybe
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: one day I could be three percent of them. And
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: it's like for me, I tell the people real quick,
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: like because terrorist is such a bar in any given week, Like,
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: just give me a couple of names of people that
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: you might be either on tour with, in the studio with,
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: working on a project with, Like, just just give me
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: a random week, because like, first I'll give you, I'll
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: give you yesterday, tell me yesterday. This is my morning
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: started at My morning starts at six. I do dog training.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: I do very intense obedience and personal protection and ships
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: in and competition dog training for two hours every year
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: at the park up here with all my friends that
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: you know. And it's dog training. It's not music, it's
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: not Instagram, it's not who's popular. It's how good does
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: your dog listen to? You? Remember one time Terrace called
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: me all excited. Oh yeah, It's like he was like, yo, man,
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: I got like he has a passion for dogs and
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: he does some breeding and he was like, yo, man,
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: I got this dog right now. He was like, this
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: dog is the j Cole of the dog world. Yeah,
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: because I love Jacole because he's so nice. This a while,
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: it's nice and then Jake musically Jacole is a nice guy,
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: but then he has a switch to get aggressive. I
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: like Jacole when he looks and assuming all the time,
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: and that this dog reminded me of And the dog
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: was light. It was real light. It was a light,
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: my fine kind of dog. And that Mom and Jacole,
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: So your dog training for two hours? Two hours, I
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: go home, I eat my food. Now it's like eleven ish.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: I'm sure I'm dressed now. Today started. My first session
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: is at U c l A to teach and work
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: on the Herbie Hancock record and working on his orchestral music.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: That that I stopped there. I do all that with
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: me Herbie Hancock, UM, Robert Glassford, Corey Henry, all the
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: top musicians. I had to leave there at five because
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: I had a session with Y being Corday. I forgot
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: because he's always working and we just finished his first record,
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: so now he's really he's a young excited artist, so
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: he stays in the studio. And then after that I
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: got a call from punch at about ten o'clock at
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: night to go listen to some things that he's been
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: doing with him and you know, you know, you know,
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: the TV guys. But then about one o'clock in the morning,
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: on the way home, I get a car from je
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Parrico and he wants to play me his music because
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: I've been helping out on his record, but it's not done.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: At four in the morning, I get another text from
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: Herbie Hancock. He said me nine, by the way, he's
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: up at four in the morning watching movies, you know,
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: talking about what we did the next what he's gonna do.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: So it's like I feel like those days I've kind
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: of become my norm now where it's just like people.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: It's like, it's just how we just talked about how
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: we love living in a certain area because it is
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: so many different walks of life and different people. That's
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: that's I love When my days when I filled up
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: like that, I couldn't like I couldn't. I can't eat
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: the same thing every day, I can't wear the same thing,
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: I can't wear one color. I don't want to do
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: anything I did yesterday. Who wants to look in the
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: rear view forever. That's like, no, you know what I
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: call that to like the I don't even know if
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: this fits, but I I've thought about this over the years,
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: but like, and this is no shade to him, but
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: like the Mr. T complex, right, Like, I don't want
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: to be so tied up in my identity or the
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: way I'm being perceived that I limit my growth. So
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: it's like, you know how like Mr T is, Like
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: he was a huge deal in the eighties, right, Like,
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: and you knew him because of his signature style. So
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: you knew him because of his signature chains, because of
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: his haircut, the way he talked, the shirts right, the
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: arms out, um and and then you look at his
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: like forty years later, if you see him on the street,
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: he's dressed exactly the same because he's so tied to
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: that moment of time with his identity. Um And so
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: it's just I don't know, sometimes it's just really important
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: to take that step back and to like think, like
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: am I feeding the beast and my feeding and social
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: media and my feeding the world with things only because
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: it further perpetuates like how I want them to see
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: me or be perceived, or like are you taking enough
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: time and having enough silence to like follow the flow
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: of life effortlessly. You know, it's a balance in this.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: It's a hard one too. It's tough. It's funny. Terrace
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: and I we actually recorded a podcast episode together, um,
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: like months ago, like this is like maybe four months ago. Yeah,
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: go ahead, and I'll just finish. So Terrice and I, uh,
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: we're at the ranch right now, in my little studio
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: and it has a restroom, so I hope whatever you do,
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: I hope whatever you do in there doesn't pick up
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: on the microphone. So we had we had recorded an
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: episode together. But here was the problem, right, I hadn't
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: I hadn't seen Terrace in a while. Uh, and he
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: had been like I had moved back to l A.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: And he had been like on tour off and on
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: for the last couple of years that I've been back.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: So we've talked and we've caught up, but we hadn't
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: really had like an in depth catchup in a long time.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: So he came over and before we even turned the
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: microphones on, two and a half hours had gone by
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: of us talking and catching up. Then we turned the
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: mics on and we end up talking for close to
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: three hours. So by the time he left, I was like,
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: this audio is impossible to edit, and I was like,
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: we are just going to have to find a way
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: to start from scratch. Um. And especially like last time
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: you had come over, it was just a few days,
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: like after Nipsey had passed. Our energy was just it
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: was a really hard time. Um. So then ever since then,
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: I've been hitting him like, yo, we gotta redo this episode.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: You gotta come back in. He's like, all right, well,
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: I get back from Budapest in a couple of weeks.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: And then I'll hit him in a couple of weeks
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: and like, hey, I'm actually in Bali and Dada and
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, well, and we don't even live
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: far from each other. Over I was four minutes. But yeah,
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: so you know, in a couple of Something that I
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: love about terrorists and I find fascinating is his life
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: is so and it's always been just so layered and
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: so interesting. So when you were when you were young,
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: grow up in l A l A boy all the way, Um,
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: you you were also a musical prodigy. Your parents are musicians.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: Your mom is an incredibly talented and celebrated singer. Your
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: father is a jazz musician, you know. And then you
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: mix that kind of background of this like extensive knowledge
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: of traditional music and instrumentation mixed with a very very
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: South Central l a upbringing and experience and lifestyle and
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: the hip hop scene and the very signature sound of
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: l A hip hop specifically, especially back then, you know,
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: in the times, uh, when you were younger and you're
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: hearing like G funk and you're hearing you know, yeah,
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: and you have like you know, there's a story of
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: like Jay Leno buying you your first saxophone, you know,
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: and you're winning competitions and being a kid being asked
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: to go out on tour and I'm playing that horn.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: That's funny. I just took that horn. I'm playing at
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: horn today. I said, I'm to play that horn. I
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: haven't played like in teen years, and I said, I
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: decided to play. Is that the hern you have right here? Wow?
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: And then you know, Quincy Jones has been a mentor
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: over the years, and you've been on tours with Snoop
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: and produced Grammy winning records with Kendrick and how many
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: were so many people? Um? Yeah, yeah, So it's been
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: a wild ride. You know what it is. It's been
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: a wild ride, but it's like it feels like a day.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: To me, it feels like it just happened a day,
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: and it's you know, I I'm so excited to what's
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: gonna come. Like I'm still I'm still hungry and still
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: happy about finding new things and everything. Like I'm not um.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: I remember when I always top I used to always
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: you know, I used to spend a lot of time
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: with top. I just talked to another night, but he
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: he always say, man, I like you because you you
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: You've been doing so much and you know it's ups
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: and downs in this career. But I'm I'm I never
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: was jaded. Yeah, I never had. The only expectations I
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: ever had was you know, hopefully I can wake up
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: the next morning. So I never was jaded or nothing.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: So I think that that's helped me. But now deVie,
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: all that stuff feels like yesterday, and like it feels
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: I feel stronger than the older I get. I feel
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: more stronger and more ready for the unexpected. Every time before,
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: when I was living that life and all those things happening,
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: I was just floating through. Now I know that that's
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: kind of happens to me, I get more excited, like,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: what's what's gonna happen today? Was can you expand on
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: what that looks and feels like like then versus now
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: of how you would maybe like experienced life then then
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: versus now? Was I was doing so much different music,
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: more from the love, but actually more out of survival
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: because I had a child at fifteen, and and um,
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: you know, dealing with a young child of fifteen and
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: the mother and you know, we both she grew up
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: in a certain circumstance to where money was a big issue.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: So I've been paying child support since I was sixteen.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: So I always wanted to play jazz to do this,
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: But on Tuesdays the jazz gig wasn't going on. I
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: couldn't make the money, and I could go over here.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: I could make some money with battle Cat for maybe
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: a day, but then maybe I got to play a
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: bar mitzvah on Saturday. And all these things kept happening
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: so much of my life. Here's where that end up
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: just becoming the things where I never said no to
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: the music. I always said, well, even if I didn't like,
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: somebody said, well let me figure. Let me do so
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: I can figure out why I don't like it. Then
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: I don't like it, but I always try different things,
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: and that actually what I realized. It ended up being
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: really what l A is about. It a melton pot
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: of everything, a fool people culture, so Maya, and I'm like, well,
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: it has to be a melton pot for work too,
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: because I don't want to get a day job, you know,
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: and I did. I got fired from foot locker day
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: fired me. But anyway back then, but so that my
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: ain't said it wasn't thinking. I didn't. I didn't really
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: understand how fortunate I was to be living that life.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: I always thought it from a negative mango where I
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: gotta do all these different things. I gotta pay child
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: support or I gotta do all these things, because you know,
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: it was an Instagram back then, But it was pressure
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: of of looking at looking good and sometimes you don't
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: have money for Jordan's or because I was young, so
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: a lot of it came out of being just the
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: pressure and just having to get it done. But then
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: I think that's what um you know, the universe did
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: to train me young. You know, I just told when
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: I was in fifth grade, I went to Marcus Garvey
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: UM on seventh havns loss In and that school was
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: nine to five. By the way, brother, I am, brother,
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: I am. I don't know if he's still with us,
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: but he's a guy that started that school and and
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: with one of the teachers. He was a psychic. This
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: is real life. Yeah, it was a psychic. And she
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: she was she, she was assisted. She has a little afro,
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: she had a little never will forgivet she said. She said,
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: you know, when you're ready, I want to I want
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: to read your palm or whatever. And I was always
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: I grew up in a strong Christian household at that time. No,
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: that's the devil. No, no, no. But then my friend
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: that didn't girl, he grew up in a whole another
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: he said, man, ain't nothing wrong with that. We was
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: in fifth grade and I had to read my palm
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: and she said this. I don't know if this is
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: real or whatever, but this is what she said. You're
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: going to be a successful musician and you're gonna have
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: a lot of She said, first, you're gonna have a
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: lot of children. And I was like, no, I don't
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: want kids. At that time, She's like no, no no, no.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: After the fifth grader, like as a fifth grader. But
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: she said, but you're going to be a successful musician
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: and you're gonna be able to take care of these
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: children like you, You're gonna be okay. And I was.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: I never and I was like a musician, like hops
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: my dad as a musician, And I yeah, whatever, And
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: she didn't know nothing about me. And I swear I've
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: never seen her again in my life. But I thought
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: about her again when I was when when I had
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: my second child at night, I thought about it again.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: I was like, well, but I wasn't the successful musician
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: and came yet? Yeah, it was when is that going
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: to come? But you know, and I'm still reaching for success.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: You know, success is a matter of opinion. If I
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: could just take care of my kids and pay the
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: mortgage on time and get some reads for the horn,
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: I'm cool. Who I think too? Like what what is
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: bigger than success? And definitely what you've demonstrated is legacy,
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: right like that that concept of legacy of like creating
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: and building something that will surpass your life energy right now? Yeah,
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: I found a lot of great job musicians. I look
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: a lot of look at it. I listened to a
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: lot of old interviews from everybody, and people feel half
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: and half about legacy. People feel like you shouldn't be
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: thinking about legacy, you know, because that can infer with
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: your creative experience. It could. But in my cave and
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: from South central l A. I'm going to think about legacy.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: I'm going to think about what I leave behind because
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: so many of my people in my world, in my area,
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: they didn't think about anything, and they left and didn't
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: leave anything and found the fault. Kids was fatherless and nothing,
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: had nothing to go. So maybe it's not the legacy
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: word I think about, but I definitely am conscious of
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: uh doing right. So even if I don't need the benefits,
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: my children to reap the benefits. So I'm conscious of that.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: You know, people you shouldn't be, but I don't know
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: what you should be. But I have to be like
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: that because I grew up in an environment where nobody
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: was conscious about that and I saw the outcome of that.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: So am I thinking like they're gonna be reading about
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: me later? No, I'm not thinking about that, but I
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: I have prayers and wishes that that the universe will
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: will pour is something good to my to my children
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: or whoever else is attached to me because I've poured
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: so much out to the universe. So I think about that.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: That's why I show up to motherfucker's ship for free
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: and sometimes just do it because I love them, because
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: I think about that, so they should be thankful. I
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: think about that a lot too. I think right now
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: it's this like age of awakening, this moment in time
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: where the generation under us is really like being born,
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: thinking and feeling that, Like the frequency is a lot
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: higher than it's ever been in history, you know, like this.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: I worked with a lot of younger gender I worked with.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: I worked with I mean Cord a Is, I think
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: he just turned twenty one or something. And I worked
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: with the young producer kid that produced a lot of
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: the y Me and Cord record. He just turned seventeen
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: and he's working on the Herbie Hancock with me. He's working.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: I need to bring him here. He's seventeen. He moved
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: to l A from Seattle when he was fifteen years old,
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: dropped out of school, start getting hit records with Scrilix,
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: moved his whole family, y'all, mother, father, everybody, put him
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: all in the house. He's seventeen years old, holding it
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: down he's one of the most respectable young man I've
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: ever met in my life. And if he's his name
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: is Kid and he's popular. He's a young pop but
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: he's so quiet, independent, doesn't smoke, doesn't he's just so focused.
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: But I learned from him and I say, Man, what's
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: going on? And he'd be like, yeah, man, you know,
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: he'll tell me. They're just so on the time of
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: the post. What the post? I asked, Man, what what
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: do you think about? What do you guys think about?
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: He said, Man, well, I think about the future, he said.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: But a lot of my peers, he's like, Man, I
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: know friends that are kind of like the funeral is
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: in their Instagram prep like the like their their things
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: be heah, who's gonna come to my funeral? And who's
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: gonna say this about me when I'm dead? Like people
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: like a lot of the lot from what I hear,
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: A lot of the young a lots some younger artists.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: They people prepared for that, and they're thinking that's the
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: thing to do, because people get so much love when
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: they're gone, but they're not loving they're here. Some of
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: these kids aren't loving they're here. So they actually think
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: when they're going they'll get embraced. Mm hmm. That's is
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: something that I think that happened to me last night
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: talking about that last year, and I was, like, so
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: many thoughts go through my head with that, right because
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: it's like I can absolutely understand that, especially if you
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: don't have like a strong foundation or like being present
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: in here now, and if you don't have a foundation
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: of love or any type of guidance or um necessarily
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: the ability to like feel good about yourself without the
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: validation of others. But at the same time, it's like
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: there's also no guarantee that you will ever see your
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: funeral from above because you know, because like kind of
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: the way that I that I think of life and
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: energy and the after life, it's like, once I leave
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: this earth, my human experience has ended, which means that
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: my soul is back now on soul time, um, which
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: means that I'm not tied to ego, So I wouldn't
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: even necessarily recognize or care what's happening here or how
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: someone felt about me going. UM, I certainly can't imagine
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: that you're the essence of your soul would feel pleased,
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: you know by how much people, um, how to outpouring
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: when you loved, I don't know, it's interesting is something
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: that's been lacking and a lot of people's you know,
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: a lot of people's makeup because people don't know. So
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: if you don't, if you're not love, imagine if you're
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: eighteen years old going through so much your your your
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: biggest outlook on life is Instagram. Yeah, your heroes are
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: praising death, praising murder. These are your heroes. Yeah, the
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: my hero My heroes all died unexpectedly. Yeah, then want
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: to die. Yeah. Uh, you know these people, don't you know?
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: They that's kind of what you know. I mean, we
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: although things are done to perpetuate certain things, it's never
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: like well pack Pack was very morbid. He was kind
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: of like your friend you're describing and and really put
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: a lot of thought into his death. But like, if
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: you think of some of our biggest leaders, like growing up,
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: Malcolm X was my biggest hero. He's still one of
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: the biggest influences of my life. Like he probably felt
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: like people wanted to kill him, but he definitely wasn't concerned.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: I kind of feel like with though, I like thinking
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: about you know, what real study about them, what we
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: know about him. Definitely, definitely a lot of dark things.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: But when I talk to people that have a real
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: close to him, like Snooping, different people, he really loved life.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: He loved life and needs. Snoop and Currup always talked
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: about how much they eat. They eat taught them about
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: the quality of life. Life, life, life, life, life. So
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: when when I hear a song, I every one thing.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: But when I hear people that that really loved him,
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: with or without it, he loved life and he just
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: wanted to just he wanted to be loved and wanted
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: to show love. That's why the whole thing happened. This
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: just to show he wasn't you know what? I think?
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: Like souls like his, so much of our ship gets
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: so deep, like souls like Poc and like souls like
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: nip How abet you can keep it together? Um? I
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: Like every guest that I've had on has tried to
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: bring up Nipsey in some kind of way, and I
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: like instantly change the subject because I'm just not ready
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: to talk about it. Um. But obviously, like he was
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: a friend to both of us, and you knew him
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: since he was a kid like sensibly, Um, because with
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: the little crew with his little baby girl talking intense
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: like off top up, off top ya intense, A very
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: nice oh yeah, the best like spoken language and cadence. UM.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: I want to share just this thought with you, UM,
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: and that I would like to get out of this UM.
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: So I'm doing. I'm I'm involved in this like spiritual
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: psychology program right that I've been it's going to be
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: like a three year program or whatever. UM. And after
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: Nipsey died, I had to go to a class weekend.
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: So what I'm doing is like I'm almost done with
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: my first year, but really for like the next three years,
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: one weekend out of every month, I go to school
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: and I'm gone from like six pm Friday till nine
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: pm Sunday. And our days are like twelve hours long. Right,
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: We're just in lecture, we're setting, we're researching, UM, and
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: we're doing uh different like work and experiences. So I
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: had to go the weekend following his death. And when
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: Nipsey died, like I got into one of the most
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: depressed places that I think I've been at least in
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: ten years, you know, like the UM because what was
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: coming up for me was just like a lot a
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: lot of like profound disappointment and Rob Payne and just like,
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: you know, I just wanted to scream, like I'm so sorry,
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: I'm so sorry this happened to you, because it's like
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: to know him knows how utterly undeserving he was of
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: an end like this in the in the cruelty within
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: which happened, and just at the hands of who had
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: happened to was just like it was just such an
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: overwhelming feeling of like depression and disgust and helplessness, you know.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: Um and so for about a week, and if you
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: saw my Instagram post, for about a week, I pretty
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: much didn't believe in anything, you know, like everything, all
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: the work that I've done on myself and my life
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: was so overtaken by grief and by a feeling of
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: what is the point? What is the point of being
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: a good person? You know? And it's even hard to
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: say now because that's so not in alignment with who
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: I am or what I believe, But I was grief
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: rips logic away from you, right, and so like in
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: that moment, it was just like, because you look at
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: somebody living such a powerful life, such a resilient person,
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: that not perfect. He was a flawed human like us,
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: all right, but he gave life more than most and
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: he actively looked to help people. And for him to
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: end in that way on the steps of his business
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: in his neighborhood, it like my mind still cannot process it,
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: Like it's just the most fucking absurd shit that you
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: could ever think of happening. Um So I say all
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: that to say, I showed up in class and I
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: stood up to share. You know, sometimes though ask does
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: anyone have any thoughts before we start? And I sit
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: up to share, and I said, I'm here, but I
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: don't want to be here and I don't believe in
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: anything that you people are talking about it before, and
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: then they were just like, okay, um you know, do
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: you want to expand on that? And I just ended
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: up breaking down crying. I was just like my I
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: was like, my friend was murdered, Like my friend was
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: murdered and he was a great person. And I have
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: lost people before, you know, one of my best friends
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: in high school was murdered. I've known people that have gone,
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: I've experienced quite a bit death, but something about this experience,
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: I just wanted to say, screw it all, you know.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: Um So, it was really interesting is the facilitator, one
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: of the facilitators of this amazing program. His name is
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: Ron Holnick. I went up to him afterwards and I
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: was just like, I just need to understand more about
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: the soul, Like I need to understand the purpose of
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: things like this happening, because that's a big issue that
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: I have just in the studying of spirituality, I do
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: a lot of like the way in which I'm living
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: my life. Definitely I'm sharing positivity and quotes and videos
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: and content online, but more so, like I would consider
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: myself now really a researcher and a facilitator of healing,
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: Like my life's work is to really study the process
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: of generational trauma and to study the way that humans
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: feel and see the world um and experience spirituality within
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: this human form. So I was like, I need I
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: just need information about the soul. And he said something
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: to me, and I'm sorry it's taking me so long
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: to get here, but he said something to me that
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: was just such an interesting way to look at things.
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: He said, you know, when a soul understands what its
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: purpose here is and has done a certain amount of work,
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: there is a point where it can choose to leave
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: her to stay based on his belief system, Right, there's
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: a point where it can choose to leave her to stay,
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: because if you have reached the maximum of what you
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: can do, of what you were meant to do in
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: this life, right, then you might do yourself a disservice
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: by staying, because you might incur more karma being here, right,
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: and so kind of you know, in the way that
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: I see the world and the things that I study
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: in practice, it's like the idea is you are trying
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: to get through your karma that you're carrying with you,
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: your your life's lessons, your actions, right, and so if
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: you make it to a point where maybe you have
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: trans muted all that karma and you stay here, you
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: could be getting more And so then you might be
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: repeating the process in reincarnation. You might be coming back
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: and now having a larger workload as opposed to leaving
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: this world with past life merit and then coming back
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: at a different level. You know, Like, um, so, I mean,
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: that's a mouthful and it's a lot, but you know,
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: I just thought that was interesting because him telling me
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: that mixed was something you shared with me which I'm
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: not going to repeat about the day that Nipsey died
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: and the last moments. It still hurts, but it gave
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: me a huge amount of peace in his peace with
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: perhaps what happened to him and what he was meant
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: to do here and what he is now meant to
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: do as a soul in heaven. Because I think it's like,
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: if we were to before seeing the aftermath of his passing,
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: if we were to look at Nipsey's life, the people
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: that knew him would be like, Yo, amazing guy doing
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: incredible work, but maybe not nationally. You didn't know all
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: the facets of his generosity and his giving right, so
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: you think like, oh, there's no way his work could
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: be done because he just released his first album. But
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: if you think of it on a greater context than
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: whatever his musical offerings were meant to be in this
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: world and what his death was going to mean to
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: this world, like his death has caused a major shift
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: in people like I've been a huge friend and fan
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: of Nipsey for a very long time, but I didn't
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: think it wouldn't have even necessarily been conceivable to me
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: that he would pack out the Staples Center, though I
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: felt he'd be worthy of it, because I love him
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: that the only person that ever did that was Michael Jackson,
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: So it wouldn't have even been like in context for
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: us to ever assume that his death would have had
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: the impact that it had worldwide, you know. I mean,
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: first of all, I believe, my belief is we all
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: have a book. Everybody has a book. Some people books
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: are thick books, some people books are everybody. When I
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: believe when you're born you have a book. I believe
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: you you have a story. You have a book, and
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: everybody's story and is different everybody book. But we all
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: have a book. We all have a book. And the
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: one thing promises we we we won't be in the
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: flesh forever, you know. And it was it I mean initially,
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: of course, it was very hard to swallow the Nipsey thing.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: Now where where my heart is at? Because that was
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: probably one of the most intense blows because and it was,
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: you know, but where where my heart is at? I
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: I look at Nipsey the same way, uh, I look
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: at all all all of the all of my heroes. Now.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: I mean, when you you know, Jimmie Anddricks died, I
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: think at I'm not just one of them, is Charlie
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: Parker died at thirty five. John Coltrane died at forty Tupac.
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's like, you know, it's it's kind of
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: My father is interesting. He's so just blunts the bad
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: motherfucker's don't stay here alone. That's all the other to say.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: He said enough, he had there. Now y'all take what
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: I was saying. Let's see what y'all do with that,
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: you know, and we all and and and I was
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: always looking that life like that, But when Nipsey died out,
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: my faith was tested, Yeah, because I was like, WHOA,
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: do I really feel like that? I don't want to
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: feel like that right now. I don't want to feel
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: like that now. I don't want that. I don't want
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: to feel like that for him. But you also don't
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: want to feel that way for yourself, right I don't
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: want to your own And you know what, I attachment
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: to her. Yeah, And it's very sad though, it's very sad.
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: The whole situation. Even it's sad what's happened to the
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: young man Eric, The whole situation is sad. Everything is
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: sad and people and that's compassion is a real thing. Yeah,
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: it's kind of like that. It gets deeply conflicting when
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: you when you have selective compassion, and which is impossible.
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: You can't have true compassion if it's selective. Yeah, I forget,
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: but I don't forget, you know. But that's a different podcast,
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But but I'm saying that
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: that's the thing where I had to sit back and
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: look at Nipsey and everybody involved and say, you know what,
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: this is sad everything involved, everything not everything Eric too,
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: that's sad too, just like when you and even it's
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: it's it's you know, it's it's just sad. It's just sad.
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: You know. I love Hour Glasses put out the situation
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: about our Lando the video Tupac Must Die, because you
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: know what's deep about that when if you're from l
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: A in the hood, that's how a lot of us
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: felt like when that happened, believe it or not, people
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: deep in a compassion for both things at the table. Yeah,
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: because I remember the day because it's like you're you're
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: seeing it through the eyes of what the code of
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: conduct is, the code of conduct is, and and you
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: and for me as a father, now I say this, uh,
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: I say all these all my judgment thoughts, I thought
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: all my judgment human being things out there. Then I say, hey, now,
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: if that was tearing your baby, that was your son,
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: if that was your son in that place, or if
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: that was your son in the other place. Now as
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: you feel because you can't have selective compassion, it's not
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: for real. You know, some people argue that women, that's cool,
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: that's cool. I mean, there really is no argument if
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: you look at But I learned something through the through
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: all that. It's difficult in practice. I learned something about
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: faith through the passion of Nipsey. I don't believe you
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: could really understand faith and have faith unless you lost
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: faith before. I don't believe that so true. I don't believe.
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: I don't believe you can't question the creator. I don't
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: believe that at all. No, I believe you have to
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: lose faith and and and falling your face and scab
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: your heart and scab your soul to understand what something is.
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: And that's a big that's that's even going back to
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: you know, like you're all these young rappers talking crazy
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: because none of them been knocked in the mouth. They
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: don't understand consequence. You know what, that's such a beautiful
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: point to you, because I feel like, at least for me,
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: my personal thought is, you really can't. You really can't
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: fully fully know and love God and surrender to Him
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: unless you've been mad at Him before and come out
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: on the other side of that. You know, Because when
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: I think of, like the love I have for my
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: connection to Divinity, whatever you want to call it, I do.
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: I do call it God, but not in the not
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: in the context of like Catholicism or Christianity, but I
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: do call that divinity God um, and sometimes the universe.
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: But when I think about like how I feel about
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: God right now and like who that God has been
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: to me and in my life and in the good
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: and the bad, I love all of it right because
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: I want to be me without all of it. And
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: I understand now the process of like why I were
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: led to the experiences were led to, even if they're
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: shitty and suck you know and painful um. And I
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: couldn't be at this level of faith that I have
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: and this level of connection that I have to the
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: sacred Being if I also didn't have moments in time
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: where I didn't believe and I lost my faith or
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: I believed with like a lot of resentment, you know,
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: like where I was like yelling at him, you know,
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: like I couldn't be this deeply connected to him now
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: if I didn't have that. And it's like, you know,
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: that's where I think that a lot of religion gets
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: it really wrong. It's like they they think that you're
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: meant to experience God in the way that you experience
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: other humans, like this whole, like we're made in his image.
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: First of all, I don't believe that. I believe we're
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: made in his image, being that we are energy of him,
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: you know, from the soul level. But no, God is
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: so much better than us. God doesn't have ego. God
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: isn't vengeful, God isn't doesn't have hate, isn't going to
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: be disappointed and you were mad, especially if he knew
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: what you were coming down here to to encounter, you know.
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: So it's just like a very egoic way in which
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: we try to project onto God um what we experience
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: from other humans. You know. Well, we put a lot
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: we put a lot of people use in the concept
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: of the devil on God, and a lot of a
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: lot of people use these things to avoid from looking
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: at themselves though, So people will got the devil. And
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: first of all, I believe in God. But people I've
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: learned and being growing up in my particular household, in
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: my family and my friends that I've seen, in aunties
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: and uncles and in my community of where I come from.
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: I gotta say this because people that's not okay, great,
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: but people, God is real, and I believe a lot
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: of people so many excuses and will not want to
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: be looking at themselves. I'm my my auntie, my auntie.
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: She was suffering so bad, you know, by the way,
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: it's it's value and suffering it's complete value and suffering.
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: She was suffering so bad. All the devil was this
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: And I can't pay the light bill. My father to say, no,
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: you should get a job. You could pay the light bill.
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: The devil's not hoping the job. But I promise you
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: go pay the light bill, get a job. You know. So, um,
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: she was suffering for you. She's cool now, but you know,
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: people when they suffered, they blame everything on this this
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: devil God. You know, nobody says, no, I funked up.
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: Let me work it out, or let me pull it together,
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: or maybe back on let me. Nobody takes to blame,
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: nobody takes accountability. If you could look in the mirror
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: for an hour at yourself and not cry, you're a
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: bad motherfucker. You're bad motherfucker. If you could really tell
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: the truth about yourself, you know, Um, you're amazing. If
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: you could do that. Wow, I don't. I'm I'm fine,
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: I'm fine while i'm you know, it's like, um, and
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: I've been guilty of having a lot of judgment in
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: my heart. I've been guilty of using God has excuse
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: me the double age. I've been guilty of everything. But
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: now I look at myself first. Yeah, I look at
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: my I look at mine. I look at myself first,
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: and I work it out, work it out. You know,
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: people and people and people even and like a lot
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: of people make up scriptures. People make it what she
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: says like, uh, God won't put nothing more on you
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: than you could bear. Show me where it says that,
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: And I give a million dollars, I'll give you all
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: my publishing right now, right now. Should tell me that
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: you know all these things. And it must be a
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: reason why I'm going through this. God is by my side.
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: It is a reason why you're going through it now,
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: I think the blessing comes for if you break through
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: it the challenge. People are skilled of challenges, the challenge
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: like suffering. When when I say it's value and suffering,
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: it's like, you know, it's it's the same that that
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: it's the same that the Buddhists says, you can find
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: beauty within every problem. They even believe that some people
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: were boring here, born here to suffer just to teach you,
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: you know, just to teach you, you know. And so
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: I think I think Nipsey was so powerful that, like
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: you said, it is like man and babies. That's my
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: whole thing with him, the babies. But back to him,
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: he left so much stuff that it's gonna take us
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: hundreds of years to catch up, you know, hundreds of
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: years of cats up. And it's it's it's it's such
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: an horrible thing. But every day it gets a little
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: not smoother, but it gets a little like but every
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: time I think it gets better, I think about the babies,
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: fun us. I think about like the babies, you know.
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: Like when it comes to healing um and grieving violent
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: death is probably that's one of the more difficult. That's
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: the Instagram when you can see it. I'm I'm so
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: grateful that I have not, and I plan to never
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: see that. Um, you can edit this, but I mean no,
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: I don't want to hear if Please don't tell me
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: if you saw it or anything. Definitely, but me and Top, Yeah,
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: me and Top Top sit there and told me two
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: nights ago we was talking about it. I never heard
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: him say this exaction. I never saw it. Yeah, and
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: we just looked at you and I said that we
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: you know black people call we uh, we call trauma stress. Yeah,
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: oh my god, right, we call trauma stress. That's a
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: whole another show, because I really want to one episode
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: dive into the way we help me with that, the
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: way we use our vocabulary to identify our experiences and processes,
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: because we use so many wrong words to describe our feelings,
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: and it does us a real disservice because it doesn't
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: allow us to one really be able to experience those
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: feelings fully, but definitely not to transcend and move past them,
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: like yeah, wow, I have a friend that, and and
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: I have a I have a friend that. She's white,
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: she grew up in Orange County. Cool, she grew up
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: in a certain type of household. She's an artist, but
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: she she she asked me things like out the blue,
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: she was saying, are you positive today? Why do you
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: ask me that? I'm why? Yeah, Why do you don't
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: ask me that? And she'd be like, but I had
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: to think about that, right, Why am I? So? What
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: would somebody asking me that? Yeah, because we're still used
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: to think if somebody asked you some some wrongs we're
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: so defensive over. That's all part of trauma. But also
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: I would I would say to the way that this
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: person worded it can be very triggering, especially depending on
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: what your definition of positive is, because I think a
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: lot of people weaponize this idea of positivity as a
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: way to, like, very passively aggressively keep you from feeling.
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: I said, what do you mean by that? What where's
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: that stemming from? Like break it down? And she broke
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: it down. Well, no, we grew up act making short
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: you're positive, so if you're not, maybe we could fix it.
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: I actually it was just like it wasn't that deep.
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: It was just that yeah. And then I was like okay,
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: but I said, well, just know it sounded strange because
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: I'm positive, as you're gonna make me not positive in
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: a minute now, damn it. Oh my god. We've talked
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: to we've talked about, like dabbled a little bit with
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: your story of fatherhood throughout this episode. How many kids
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: do you have? Five kids? And I know you have
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: a baby baby? Yeah, two and a half years. Oh gosh.
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: So being someone that is now established, grown, grown fully
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: in your adult life navigating this world. Well, um, but
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: also we're like a fifteen year old father, so your
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: oldest is twenty two. So what tell me some of
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: the differences there of experiencing fatherhood then versus now from
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: for me personally, I could tell by where I was
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: in my life, by um, the relationships of me and
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: the previous children's mother had. I could tell where I was.
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: I could look at my insecurity path, I could look
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: at all these things. And what I learned in my
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: early part in my life that when two people just
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: randomly make kids and cool and and you know that, Um,
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: I wasn't a great father growing up because I don't
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: know how to be I was a kid, and the
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: mothers didn't know how to be a mother. They were
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: just doing what the other people taught them, which is
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: you know, uh, you know, Um, nobody knew how to
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: be parents. We didn't even know how to be young
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: black people, you know, so we was all also my my, my,
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: my oldest son. And he's it's amazing, he's so beautiful
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: and so cool because he we didn't have a tight
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: relationship coming up. It was I was the father, he
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: knew the father, His mother was a mother. But he
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: was kind of in the middle of so much turmoil
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: of young parents. So he we was around each other,
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: but we never got to enjoy each other. We were
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: so young. We started enjoying each other when he turned
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: eighteen years old. You know what I'm saying. We were
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: so young. So that's my first child, my second child.
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: The same thing the early children. I was a kid
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: and the mothers were kids, and believe it or not,
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: we we all talked about this because they they even
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: suffered understanding from their mother. You know, this is a
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: this is a real thing. So you know, I kind
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: of didn't click into fatherhood because I never when I
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: first had children. This wasn't thing. If I'm going to
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: be a father, this thing, I'm just having sex and
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: I'm not understanding the consequences. I'm not understanding that if
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: somebody me and me and Jason always say, if somebody
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: would have just said, your dick can make a person
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: just like that, you know what I'm saying, Davy, your
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: dick could make a human being. You know how crazy?
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: That would have made a sound like what? But everybody
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: was don't do it, stock, don't, don't, don't, don't talk, don't.
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: And then when it happened, nobody knew how to react.
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: A lot of young parents was going through this even
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: to this day. So my my, it was it was
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: very difficult earlier because I didn't know how to do it.
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: All I knew was that if I worked and got
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: money and paid the money, they would they would, they would,
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: they would be peaceful. That's all I knew because in
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: in in the in the hood, in the ghetto, having
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: kids young, you know, either the guy, a lot of
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: the guys aren't around because out of fear they don't know.
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: But a lot of the mothers are understanding. They they
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: want the money, but the guy doesn't have a skill
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: to get the money. And that's turmoil. And you know
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So it was rough. This is a
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: whole another part young parents, because I'm I'm still day
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: I think about this and be like, what did I
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: call come time that I gotta make it? Like I'm
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: so weird about giving time now it's like I'm like, so,
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: I'm like, and I do the best I can and
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: I do. But now that I love fatherhood and want
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: to be a father and I'm there, I'm there. I'm there. However,
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: my career isn't a weird place to where I'm always gone,
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: even when I when I'm here, I'm here. But even
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: when I'm here, I'm going. And people say, you know,
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: you gotta make time, and yes, we I do make time.
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: But it's it's a difficult life and it's a it's
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: that's more than music, more than anything I've ever been.
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: Being a one hundred percent family man. Being shared by
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: the world is a very That's the biggest challenge I
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: go through every day because I want to comfort my
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: other half, my woman. I want to comfort my children,
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: and they don't care about going. They all they want
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: is time. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. And then
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: especially it's like, you know, if you have children with
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: multiple people, but yeah, live in very different places. And
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: that's another thing to where I'm sure and this is
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: a real thing, and I see this is really I'm
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: sure the earlier children feel like I have to steal
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: a little Why couldn't it work with dad and mom?
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: Or why couldn't do that? Because they don't, you know.
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: But but but I've had real conversations with my with
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: the older ones. I think that's that's the without being disrespectful,
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: because it was not. It's no fault here. It's no fault.
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: It's two babies that have babies, and you know, and
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: now me and guess what we get along. Just the
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: other night, I played the Hollywood Bowl, me and Hervey
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: to a soldo show in Los Angeles, Me, Herbie, Thundercount
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: Camaci or l a guys. So that the Hollywood Bowl
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: playing jazz, African American art music. Nothing on the radio,
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: nothing with high with high plays on the internet, just
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: people coming out there here, truthful art. And it was
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: a sold out show and I was able to have
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: month my children there, mothers and my everybody backstage with
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: Quincy Jones and everybody just hanging because I saw Quincy
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: do this. And when I was said, how many kids you, guys?
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: And then I said too, and he said, man, you
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: gotta mention you, you gotta mention everybody's on one occur
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: It's hard to do it, but you gotta make sure.
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: So I've always tried to make sure we all are
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: a village, and we are are our village, you know,
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: to each his own. For me, it's no funny business
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: to make it all the village. Everybody can nobody for
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: nobody can nobody getting no special weird undercutting ship. Nobody
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: could have an ounce of jealousy. Everybody has to be
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: very confident in themselves. And I have that community in
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: my family now, with my other children's mother, with their husbands.
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: You know, we have a real community and it's I've
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: I've actually shaped it. I've shaped it out of just
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: honest things, love and saying we were all wrong. Let's go.
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: And everybody's on one accord now. But it's still a
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: struggle because it takes time, you know, the time personal growth.
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: Young These people didn't under they they I had children
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: with people that didn't. What what an art artist households
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: get a job? No. I believe I practice long enough,
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: something's gonna happen. What about the food now, I don't know.
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: But if I practice long enough, you can't just who
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: want to hear that ship? But I did it. That's
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: why I to this day, I go be on b
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: off for off of all the mothers and my children,
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: you know, if whatever, like whatever, I go be on
• 59:18
  Speaker 1: and above, you know, and I love them and I
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: appreciate all of them. I appreciate my children, and I
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: love the suffering we all went through because we would
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: not have been here. And all of them help me
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: get to where I am because now I have a
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: high sense of compassion for um. A lot of young
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: just your young married musicians. Man, I'm about to go
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: on my first tour. Blah blah blah. A lot of
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: successful ones, young producers I meet. Can you give me
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: any vice? I said, you're about to go on the
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: road the first tour three months. You got a kid? Yeah,
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: my kids two years old. You got your girl. I
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: don't even been married. We've been together. I said that
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: she used to you leave in town the family. No, no,
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: but she's gonna be cool. First of all, she's not cool.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: Second of all, this is nothing you could explain. You
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: have to go through this, But let me tell you
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: what I did, and my woman will tell you. I
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: call every night I face time. I'm so weird of
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: being gone but not being here. I try to make
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: so much time to the point I I say, well,
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: I can't do that festival, that tour unless my family
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: could come. That's expensive, but they fly them out. You
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: know that's that's that's the vibe. I worked hard for
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: that level of where if they want me, they they
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: that my children come, my family whoever. I made sure
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: to When I go to Japan, I tell the promoter
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: we want you in Japan. I say, funk that give
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: me six sextual tickets because I need family to come
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: and show kids other Now, since I'm not home a lot,
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: I make sure I use my my privileges and give
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: them to all my children, my nieces and nephews. Let's
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: travel travels. The biggest privilege, That's the biggest thing you
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: could do for a child is traveling from you know
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: we That's the biggest thing you could do art. You know,
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: I remember you telling me, how mom, just the museum, Like,
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: the biggest thing you could do is open the kid's
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: mind up. And now I'm doing that to work now
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: my kids. It took me forever to it used to
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: suck me up. How I inspire so many kids to
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: do music, and then my kids aren't inspired by me.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: Hey man, I'm about to do yeah that will see
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: you later. But it's a line of kids here say
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: mayors my kids. So I had to click in and
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: it's a battle. I'm still you know, and still I
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: think for other people listening to what because like everything
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: you're sharing is so aspirational and beautiful, but it's also
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: like hard earned. Like what you're saying now, it's like
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: your kids, your rangers of your kids age to the two.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: So you know, it took it took a long time.
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: It took years to be in this great like I
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: didn't even know my children. I didn't even know them.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: I was with so much, talk to him every day,
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: hug him for the weekend, but didn't know them for years.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: I didn't know that. It was so embarrassing to year
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: how great a Kai saying one day and me and
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: me had to act like I was familiar with that
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: skill level, but me going home saying, oh, man, get
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: on the ball. You gotta didn't just like everything else,
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: you gotta go extra hard for that. Then you know. So,
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: But that's it's been a that's helped me get through life,
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: Like my sense of compassion now is my forgive me
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: Threshold's crazy when when when drugs came into my family's
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: life and split us up, and my father had to
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: go away for a while and me and my mom
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: stayed in little motels here and they're like, I didn't
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: feel nothing was wrong. I didn't feel nothing was wrong.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: I was I was people, you know you. I grew
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: up in the hotel in the hood, and oh yeah,
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: it was tough, Bramben and hook. I didn't feel nothing
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: was wrong. The TV worked in the little boat motel,
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: we stayed in a single forever and it was just
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: it was nothing wrong. She didn't let me feel one bit.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: Now that I'm older and here the ship she was
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: going through, I was like, yeah, God, and that's such
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: an important lesson for just parenting, right, because they're like
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: human beings. We all have this inherent sense at the deepest,
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: darkest part of us of being unworthy, being not enough
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: right um. For some it's like of being a mistake
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: right um, or being somehow unlovable or not deserving, And
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: a lot of that stems from us fighting our realities.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: Like there's this like perceived ideal that society created over
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: time since the dawn of history. Right, And we suffer
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: because we try to fight our reality instead of just
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: and this takes time. But instead of just like being
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: open to circumstances and not letting them define how we
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: feel about ourselves, right, like understanding the greater orchestra of
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: the world, because it's like, like you think, for when
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 1: I when I look back at my childhood and I
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: look back at all of these limiting beliefs that became
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: ingrained in me about myself, it was really based on
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: and comparing my life and my childhood to other people's
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: and especially comparing it to TV and comparing it to movies,
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: and comparing it to the way that fatherhood and parenthood,
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: and how it is like the idealized version that in
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: actuality is not true for anyone. Like we're all saying
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: that unless my life looks like X, Y, and Z,
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: the most idealized version of it, then it sucks. I'm
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: not enough and I'm in a space of lack. And
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 1: the truth is this thing that we're trying to hold
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: ourselves up to does not and has never existed for anyone.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 1: I don't know anybody that has ever met all that criteria.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: But I'm suffering because I think I'm not enough in
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: comparison to that. You know, Um, I really just think, like,
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: like what you just shared about your mom, that's so
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: important in parenthood, especially if you are like having a
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: rough time parenting with like your child's other parents, Like
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: say you're not together, Say you guys never really knew
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 1: each other, meant to have it, which is real thing
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: which happens a lot. I mean, listen, it happens a lot,
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: a lot. I really want to do like a larger
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: episode about this about motherhood and fatherhood in this way.
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: Um so maybe coming soon because I have a lot
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: to say on it. But you know, I think the
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: best thing you could do for your child, no matter
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: what circumstances they're in, is not ingraining them a sense
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: of lack based on how you see the world. Because
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: children come to this world, babies come to this world
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: whole and complete. It is all of the things that
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: we put in them that either adds to that or
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: detracts from that. We put racism in, and we put Hayden,
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: and we put all that we put our we put
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: our problems. Our problems are projection. So It's like if
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: you if you have a circumstance right now in your parenthood,
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: that is not ideal. You know. Number one, I extend
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: so much compassion to you because it's hard. Life is hard,
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: experiences are difficult. But don't let your kid feel that,
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: you know, like you can absolutely like even with you
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: sharing you guys were staying in a hotel and don't
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: don't feed your kid. I che do. I hate when
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: I see that maybe you weren't having the best meals
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: and maybe you weren't having this, but you did have love.
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: And your mom created even in that hotel room, a
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: sense of peace, you know, a sense of you were
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 1: enough and this is what life looks like right now.
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: And she still find she still was. It was like, yeah,
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: it was not like we're here, so let me. It
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: was like we're here. Fold up your side over there,
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: folded up, don't don't get it's eight in the morning.
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: Get up, we gotta we gotta go. We'll come back
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: later on let's go. And kids also can handle the
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: truth this idea of like projecting your feelings on them,
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: of either like anger or happiness, but not actually cluing
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 1: them into what's happening. They don't know how to process emotions.
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: They don't have emotional vocabulary, so they're taking all of
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: it on and creating this false narrative that is going
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 1: to hunt them for the rest of their lives. You know,
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: like we have to tell our kids the truth, even
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: the really complex and lattering versions. Let them be free,
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: a little bit free, Let them be free. So you
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: just let them me keep eye on them and letting
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: me free a little bit, because they're gonna have a
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: whole lifetime and not being to be free all the time.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: So let them be free a little bit. You know,
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 1: we we know. I mean, my daughter is very respectful.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: I mean she's a kid, so she does kid things.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: But it's never when she makes a mistake, it's always like,
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 1: first of all, I never google guy. I gotta talk
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: to my kids and my daughter. My kids will tell you,
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: like my what's up, like my kai A Kyle'll tell you.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: When I was for a kind of I used to
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: be like, I, what's up, daddy'all? Don't talk to me
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 1: like that. What's up? Well? Dad? This okay? I want
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: one throw? What's that mean? Why do you want that?
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: Why do you want sold instead of water? I just
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 1: know why it tastes better. Okay, well you can't have that.
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 1: So my kids grew up like my even my daughter.
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: You gotta meet and she oh, she's so like, excuse me,
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 1: thank you. She saw because I've learned that you don't.
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: You don't. You gotta let them be freakings. Kids are
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: smarter than us. Is see the truth before we see
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: the truth. Like when your kid don't go to somebody,
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: it's a reason the man was either because they don't
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: know him, but sometimes because that ain't working with them,
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 1: because they feel something that could be with grandparents, cousins, whoever.
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: Kids know what's up. Yeah, you know, like my daughter,
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 1: she don't. I taught her young that she had kai
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: when she was a baby, she would like my uncle's
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 1: but let me give her a hug. And this is no,
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: this is not a trust issue thing. This is a
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 1: father with his daughter thing. But she always looked at me,
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: depending on I'll be like, sorry, baby, go ahead, boom.
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: And it could be one of my uncles. If I
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: feel like I don't want my baby on your energy,
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: I don't want my baby on your energy. Yeah you
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Especially, and we got to stop
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: forcing kids to hug first of all, kind of this
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 1: like dog and pony show your kid. Don't hug, go
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: hug onto you, so and so, go hug and go
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: so and so like, No, it's my child's body. They
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: don't have to if they don't want to. It's not
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: to be disrespectful to you or anyone else. But my daughter.
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: She ain't got a hug and touch nobody. But now
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: she's coming to his words. She knows how to hello.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: Because I don't shake hands. Yeah, I do the pound.
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: I don't shake hands ball because I don't want to
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 1: shake your hand. I do the pound because it's Jermy
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: out of here. Jermy, it's Jermy out of here. I
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 1: mean more ways than one, but it's Germany out of here. Man.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 1: Kids are beautiful. Yeah, I'm so so deeply grateful for
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: quest he's gonna be. He's gonna be a different cat.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 1: What was he gonna be? Like? Do you ever wonder
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: what are they gonna be? I don't want to. I
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: don't even want to think about it yet because I
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: don't not want what. I always wonder who are they?
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: You know what? My My intention for his life is
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 1: just that he feels good being himself that he's kind
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 1: and compassionate, um and whole, you know, like I I
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: legitimately because the thing is, it's like I don't want
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: my ego tied to my parenting. Your life is not
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 1: about making me proud. Your life isn't about instilling in
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 1: me that I am good and worthy and that I've
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: you know, look at what I've done for you and
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: accomplished for you, Like God chose me to bring you here.
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 1: It is a sacred responsibility. I feel grateful. I'm locked in.
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 1: And after that, it's like I'm I'm here to lead
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 1: your way and guide you, but also just love you
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 1: and whoever you want to be in whatever you want
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 1: to do. This is your journey. You have every right.
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 1: That's all you could do. That's how I think. I
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 1: think about that and to add to and I'm just
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 1: gonna put the tools there for you. Yeah, and you
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 1: know what like that, Like I do a lot with affirmations, um,
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 1: And I think by the time this episode comes out,
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: how I've already released an I G TV about this,
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 1: but I recorded I G t V on my Instagram
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: page to about like mindfulness tips for babies and one
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 1: of the things that I love doing in his affirmations
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 1: request so, and he can't read them, he can't do them.
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 1: But I just, as I'm holding him at night in
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 1: the dark before I put him in the crib, I
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: just say them to him, and I say, you are
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 1: perfectly designed. You're covered in God's grace. You're protected, you
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 1: are safe, You're provided for, your valued, your treasured, your love.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 1: You have all the tools you need for this life
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: inside of you already, you know. Yeah, all right, we
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 1: gotta go because we could sit here for another five hours.
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 1: Part one, Terris, I just I love you. I honor
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: your creativity, I honor your impact on this world, and
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 1: I am always just grateful to know you and to
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 1: be inspired by you, and just excited for all the
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: other things that you're gonna give the world. I love
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 1: the problem. Charlotte Many said he slept with your friend
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 1: in the book. Oh God, I just I just love that.
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 1: It made me realize how much I love you. Huh huh,
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 1: Because dev is the plug. What how are we ending
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 1: the episode like this? It wasn't my friend, Yes and
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 1: Charlomagne's first book. I don't even know how we got
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 1: to in the show, because we got to do it
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 1: because we got expected Charloagne's first book. He talks about
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 1: how um, I don't know if there was some kind
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: of meet up some of my interns, and I didn't
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: know about it until I read the book. And I
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 1: still don't want to know about it, and I don't
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: know any of those people anymore. So I love that book. Man,
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 1: How did we get here? Goodbye to bye Terrace. Yo
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 1: yo yo yo yo. You can find me ONCT It's
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 1: the Dropping Gem's podcast. Peace, big thank you for listening
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 1: to this episode of The Dropping Gems Podcast. This show
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 1: is executive produced by Adrian Scott and me Debbie Brown.
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 1: Our theme music was created by producer Day One and
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 1: the poem that you heard at the beginning of the show,
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: well that was created especially for us by award winning
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 1: poet and I'm d olaf. If you have a quick
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: moment right now, please hit subscribe on the show and
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: if you like what you heard, take it a step
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 1: further and give us a five star rating. Until next
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 1: time you connect with me on I g at Debbie
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 1: Brown or my website Debbie Brown dot com. Be blessed,