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Leadership Film Study #006: The Most Powerful Thing You Bring Into the Salon · Salon Success Secrets — The podcast for salon owners who are done hustling harder and ready to break their revenue ceiling.

• 0:34
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to Salon Success Secrets with another leadership film study.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: So today we're talking about something that you use all day, every day, probably without realizing just how powerful it is.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_02: And it's your words.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: You know, the words you speak about yourself, your guests, your team, your salon, and even our entire industry are not simply describing the world around you.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_02: They're helping create the world you experience.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: And every salon has a language.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: There are words spoken in the morning huddle, behind the chair, uh, in the break room, and behind people's backs.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Over time, those words become beliefs.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Those beliefs influence behaviors, and those behaviors eventually become your salon's culture.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: So today we're going to play a short clip from Peter Crohn about the power we all have to declare our own lives.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then we're going to look at what that means for us as salon owners, leaders, and beauty pros.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: And as you listen, just think about this question.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: What are my words creating for me and for the people around me?
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: So let's watch.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: The power of language, right?
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: Abracadabra, the Aramaic translation is as I speak, so I create.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: So I'll know that.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Isn't that brilliant?
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: Isn't that brilliant?
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so we're all magicians.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's just most people aren't aware of their own power to declare their own life.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: They're doing it unconsciously, like, oh, that always happens to me.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'm an idiot.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a loser.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: I shouldn't have done that.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: Then you experience yourself as less than, not enough, not loved, not wanted.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: Now I have suffering.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: This is just life.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's hard.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: It happens to me, right?
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: And that's that victim mindset, which is fundamentally very disempowering.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then that leads to accusation and blame where we point fingers at everybody, not realizing that's perpetuating, sustaining our own absence of power.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I just think that is so true and so powerful.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I think what stands out right away, we talk often about abracadabra inside of, you know, the salons that we work with.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, that means as I speak, so I create, you know, and most people, I think, think of language as a way to describe what is already happening.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: But our language also reinforces what we expect or what we notice and truly what we continue to experience.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: So our words become instructions for what our brains should keep looking for.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: You know, what we repeatedly declare eventually begins to feel like an unquestionable truth.
• 3:33
  unknown: Yeah.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: That probably do not, or they create something, but but but maybe not the most beautiful um environments.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_02: When you think about like, I hear this very often is guests never want to buy retail.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_02: They don't want to buy retail anymore.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_02: Nobody wants to work anymore.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: That's a good one that we've heard a lot.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_02: Uh not good, but it's one that we heard a lot.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_02: And my team doesn't care as much as I do.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_02: Or, you know, people in this town won't pay for that.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: Or I'm just terrible with money.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_02: Or, you know, every time we hire someone, they leave.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, or this industry is so taxizing.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and are these facts or are they stories that we've repeated so often that they now felt like facts?
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and you know, Jen, I think what truly stands out about what you said is like your words reveal whether you are living at cause or at effect, you know, so victim language lives, you know, it places the power outside of us.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: So they made me feel this way.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: That always happens to me.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing I can do.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's just how people are, you know, and if everyone else is responsible for our experience, we have also handed everyone else the power to change it.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so this doesn't mean denying difficult circumstances or blaming ourselves for everything.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's not what we're saying at all.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: It means asking yourself, like, where do I still have influence?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what can I create from here?
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: So empowered language would sound like, you know, here's what I'm noticing.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the part that I can own.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what I want to create next.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: You know, here's the conversation I'm willing to have.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what this is teaching me, you know, and truly like the language that we use about our industry is huge here.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I think it what it reminds me of is I saw this thing about Chris Jenner recently.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, whether you love the Kardashians or don't, um, you know, I think there's she has created um an empire truly, and you know, all of her children are millionaires in their own right.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember she said that the the best parenting advice and the only parenting advice that she would give is to just not let your kids be complainers, you know, to help them see like what can they own?
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how can they feel empowered?
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I think, you know, this is truly a testament to that.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know, she talked about like there's not bad weather.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like you might need an umbrella sometimes, you might need to wear your snowboots sometimes, but like you spending all this time complaining about the weather, you don't have any cause over that.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're just that affected that the cause shows up in you wearing that umbrella and you putting on those snow boots and all of that.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just think that's how powerful language is.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_02: You know, Lindsay, there's actually a narrative that reminds me of there's a narrative narrative in the in the beauty industry that beauty pros are underestimated, you know, they're disrespected or they're not taken seriously.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_02: And therefore, we need to prove people wrong.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I think there's even a book, I know there is a book in our industry called Prove Them Wrong.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, that message may sound motivating, but it keeps us fighting an enemy.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: And like when your life is built around proving people wrong, the people who doubted you are still controlling the story.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like, this is so free.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_02: You don't need to prove your work, you don't need to build a successful career so long as revenge.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you get the opportunity to use your gifts to love, serve, and care for people.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_02: And you, you know, we don't elevate the beauty industry by constantly declaring that nobody respects us.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we elevate it through the way we lead, serve, communicate, and carry ourselves.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_02: So there's just questions to to think about is like, what would you create if you stopped trying to prove people wrong and started to try to started trying to serve people well?
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, and really, truly, Jim, when you said that, it makes me think of the stark difference between the words used in the book title there and the book title, um, you know, think and get rich as a beauty pro.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like just even seeing, like, okay, I would have cause over that.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like that would be a worthy cause for me to be a part of.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how could I do that?
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because truly, um, money is just a form of staying in exchange with people.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: And the more of it you have as a person, um, the more you're able to do better things inside of the world, you know?
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think, you know, that is why inside of the connection code, um, which is something that we go over in the three-day challenge, really in deep, like in depth, how do you um set this up for success inside of your salon with your team?
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but that's why I speak positively as part of the connection code, because um, you know, hospitality is created through more than just the service that someone receives.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's also created through how people feel in your presence, you know.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: So guests can sense that negativity.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: They can sense the tension or gossip or contempt, you know, and it even if those words are directed at them, not in their presence, you know, and so you cannot create a place where everyone leaves feeling beautiful inside and out while using language that makes people feel smaller.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: So speaking positively does not um that does not mean avoiding feedback or tolerating poor performance or pretending that everything is wonderful.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: It means speaking in a way that protects a person's dignity dignity and leaves room for growth.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we can tell the truth without using our words as weapons.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: And the goal isn't to speak positively because everything is perfect, it's to speak in a way that helps create what is possible.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: You know, Lindsay, there's a there's a um quote that I love.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_02: It says, the tongue can be a tool for great production or a weapon of mass destruction.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so that when you really think about that, man, it's so such a beautiful thing to think about.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_02: So what do you say when they aren't in the room?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: You know, think about that from a salon owner's perspective, or from a from having uh team members is culture isn't only created by what leaders say directly to their team, it's also created by what everyone says about one person or about one another when that person is absent.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_02: You know, ever walked to the back room and everyone gets silent and you're like, what's going on here, right?
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_02: Because truly everything is energy, right?
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_02: So gossip creates separation, gossip is energy, it creates separation, recognition creates a connection.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_02: And so imagine knowing that when you leave the room, the people you work with are still protecting your name and speaking about the best in you.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_02: You know, that's what creates emotional safety, and it changes what people begin to see in one another.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_02: And so just things to think about like, do we speak about people in ways we would be proud for them to overhear?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_02: That's one of my favorite things to ask.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_02: Or are we using someone's worst moments to define their entire character?
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_02: Or hey, when someone makes a mistake, do we discuss the behavior or do we attack the person?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_02: And just imagine, imagine walking into your salon every single day, and all you heard was words that inspire people, that expanded people instead of words that, like I just said, made people smaller.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_02: Imagine the impact that that would have.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: So good.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: I we um actually had back to school night for my youngest last night.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things that they do is select Star of the Week, and um, on one of the days you send in videos or um you could write it, whatever, just saying all the things that you love about your child.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I love that.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: It got me thinking about um, you know, I know we've both done that retreats or salon celebrations, um, just a fun way to get people talking good about people behind their back.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, that's when that's something that you can do as a salon owner right now at your next salon celebration or team meeting.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Teach your team the power of speaking positively.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, so you can get superhero capes for pretty cheap on Amazon, or maybe you've got a local source for them, and have each person put one on, you know, they can talk about their own strengths, but then literally have the team write stuff, you know, have them talk about them behind their back by writing stuff on that superhero cape.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: You might need to stick a little uh hot tip, you might need to stick a little piece of paper on before you use the marker so it doesn't transfer onto their clothes, but have them write stuff like a strength that they see in that person, or a time that they saw that person go above and beyond, or a way that that person contributes to the team, or something they admire about them, or just like an impact that they have made.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: So what's so powerful about that is when you have them write it about them and create that culture where people are saying positive things about each other behind their back, um they when you have them physically write it down, they've got that to keep as a keepsake afterwards.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: So on a day where it's maybe not going their way, um, they can look at that as a reminder to who they are.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: You know, even if you don't get a superhero cape, you could literally just tape a piece of paper to each person's back, you know, and have everybody write something positive on it, you know, and so connect that activity back to a lesson inside of your team.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if if our words create our reality, let's become intentional about what we create in one another, in ourselves, and our entire experience here together.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: Lindsay, when you just said, let's let's pay attention to the words that we're creating inside ourselves.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_02: I think it begins with us, right?
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_02: We are the foundation.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_02: And so, you know, just an invitation for you this week is like ask yourself, what do you repeatedly say about yourself?
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_02: Or keep a keep a little notebook with you or a note section your phone and write it down.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um you'll be probably really aware, you'll be really shocked, maybe about some of the things that you say about yourself, or you know, what do you repeatedly say about your team?
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_02: If you're always saying they're lazy, they never do anything, you know, they're idiots.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sure I'd say that, but there's probably some that would, yeah.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um you know, like that is creating the real reality, or you know, what do you repeatedly say about your guests?
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, they never want to do upgrades, or you know, they are always canceling, you know, or what do you repeatedly say about the beauty industry?
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_02: It's not what it used to be.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_02: You know what?
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_02: It's not, and it's even better.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_02: Isn't that so awesome to frame it from that standpoint?
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_02: And just you know, debrief with yourself, ask yourself, hey, is this language creating more power, possibility, and connection?
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_02: Or is it creating more blame, separation, and helplessness?
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_02: And so you when you do that, you know, you get the opportunity to review that, then you get the also get the opportunity to rewrite that, you know.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_02: So, like an example would be like my team never takes initiative.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_02: You know, the the way to rewrite that would be like I'm learning how to create clear ownership, or maybe it's guests only care about price, it becomes our guests want to understand the value, or hey, I'm bad at leadership.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_02: It becomes I'm becoming the leader the next season requires, or this is when we hear often, nobody wants to work, becomes like the right people are looking for a place where they can belong and grow.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_02: You haven't even met them yet.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I think I I just love going back to that abracadabra.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: You could even literally just bring a little magic wand.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: You could get it at the dollar store, you know, a little girl's magic wand.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: You could even teach your team the power of abracadabra at a huddle, you know, to as I speak, I create.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: That is the literal Arabic translation of the word abracadabra.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: And just help them, you know, think about the abracadabra that they want to create today, instead of, you know, when instead of really worrying about a cancellation policy, like, why don't you worry about like, hey, when this guest arrives, um, I'm gonna really think about their total look before they even come in and come up with a recommendation and just really getting hyper focused on creating the world that you want to live in around you.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, your words are always doing something.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_02: You know, they're either they're either reinforcing who someone has been or helping them see who they become.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_02: And they are either sustaining a culture of blame or and separation, or like they're creating a culture of ownership, that safety, that connection.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: So this week, pay attention not only to what you say directly to people, but to what you say about them when they're not in the room.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and also pay attention to the words that you use about yourself too.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, you don't have to prove anyone wrong, and you don't have to keep rewarding the story that you're behind and repeating it and or that you're overlooked or not enough.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: You get to decide what you want to create and begin speaking from that place.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: You know, ask yourself if my words are helping create my reality.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: Is this the reality I want to keep creating?
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and speaking positively is one part of what we call the connection code.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_02: And it's our framework for creating a salon experience where people feel genuinely seen, valued, and cared for.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_02: And it's so much bigger than simply tell your team to be positive.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it has to become something that they understand, that they believe in and they know how to practice.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want to learn how to implement that inside of your salon, join us for the next three-day challenge.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: We'll dive into how to introduce these ideas to your team, you know, turn them into everyday behaviors and get everyone enrolled in creating a more connected, hospitable salon because the words spoken inside your salon eventually become the culture experienced inside your salon.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: So as you speak, so you create.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, see you next week.