Latest / Presented by Speaking Human / #201: Terrifying Turkey Day Tech Gifts You Never Asked For

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#201: Terrifying Turkey Day Tech Gifts You Never Asked For · Presented by Speaking Human

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  Speaker 1: Speaking Human.
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  Speaker 2: Today, on Speaking Human, we stuff Thanksgiving with the latest technology,
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  Speaker 2: spotlighting humanoid helpers, robot laced footwear, and the delightfully deranged
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  Speaker 2: inventions nobody ever asked to unwrap.
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  Speaker 1: Speaking Human.
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  Speaker 3: Welcome to Speaking Human, where we simplify the world of
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  Speaker 3: marketing for humans. I'm Shad Calmly and with me is
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  Speaker 3: my co host Patrick Jebber.
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  Speaker 2: Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to another fine installment of Speaking Human.
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  Speaker 3: Not just any installment, special Thanksgiving episode. Every episode from
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  Speaker 3: here on we passed two hundred and now every episode
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  Speaker 3: is going to be a special episode of some sort.
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  Speaker 2: It is because it's literally special that we're making it.
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  Speaker 2: Every episode is now an accomplishment, a miracle, some would
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  Speaker 2: say a terrifying miracle. And so to start us off,
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  Speaker 2: you know, as we've been doing all year, trivia. You
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  Speaker 2: love trivia, right.
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  Speaker 3: I mean, who doesn't love trivia?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah? I know. The listeners have left numerous pieces of
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  Speaker 2: feedback about the trivia. Sometimes we get it right, sometimes
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  Speaker 2: we don't, meaning you know, guessing, we're definitely not getting
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  Speaker 2: it right sometimes. But it's a lot of fun. It's
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  Speaker 2: a lot of fun to put it together, and we're learning,
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  Speaker 2: we're learning. Yeah, we're learning along with you, the listeners.
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  Speaker 2: I talked about it in the last episode Our Relationship.
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  Speaker 2: We were talking about two hundred episodes, but really we
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  Speaker 2: have something more like three almost three point fifty were
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  Speaker 2: going on three thirty three thirty five something like that.
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  Speaker 3: You mean if you count all the podcasts, all the
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  Speaker 3: shows were involved in.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, which this might be the time to plug that,
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  Speaker 2: but go on the website. There are a lot of
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  Speaker 2: different podcasts that we've started and sometimes finished on Speaking
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  Speaker 2: Human Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: Sometimes it's a limited series that like this is the end.
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  Speaker 3: We've come to the end here, not this one. This
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  Speaker 3: one's going to go on forever.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's okay. So we're talking about terrifying Turkey
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  Speaker 2: Day tech gifts that you never asked for. So I
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  Speaker 2: have a couple questions. I think you're gonna probably do
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  Speaker 2: really well at these. The first question, Chad, is about
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  Speaker 2: the history of the humanoid robots in the home. So
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  Speaker 2: Neo might be one of the ones we're talking about today,
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  Speaker 2: but that's not the first. Do you know what year
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  Speaker 2: the first commercially available household robot hit the market? I
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  Speaker 2: can give you multiple choice.
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  Speaker 3: If you like, I'll tell you the year that's coming
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  Speaker 3: off the top of my head. I don't know why. Well,
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  Speaker 3: maybe I know why, but the year is nineteen eighty four.
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  Speaker 2: It is you know that? Is that right? Yeah? Nineteen
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  Speaker 2: eighty four?
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  Speaker 3: Oh my god. I think I was just thinking because
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  Speaker 3: of the book or the association with the Apple ad. Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: but I don't know. I don't know what the actual
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  Speaker 3: robot is.
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  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I mean you get bonus points because you
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  Speaker 2: knew it without multiple.
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  Speaker 3: Choice, and I knew it without knowing it.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. It was the Omni Robot or Omnibot two thousand
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  Speaker 2: is what it was called, which mostly played at the
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  Speaker 2: time music and it delivered drinks like a clumsy rumba.
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  Speaker 3: Maybe that's what I was picturing, like the eighties thing
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  Speaker 3: that would like carry a tray. Didn't Rocky have it?
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  Speaker 2: He might have? Yeah, I think I do remember something
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  Speaker 2: like that in the Rocky movies. So yeah, good job,
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  Speaker 2: good job. We are also talking about something else that
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  Speaker 2: sort of aligns with this next question, and not to
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  Speaker 2: give any spoilers yet, but can you tell me which
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  Speaker 2: shoe company released a self tying prototype back in twenty sixteen,
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  Speaker 2: long before Nike went full robot shoe and can you
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  Speaker 2: tell me how much did a pair resell for at
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  Speaker 2: the time? So what company? And then how much did
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  Speaker 2: the shoes resell for?
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  Speaker 3: My first instinct was thinking of Nike because I was
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  Speaker 3: thinking of the Back to the Future shoe.
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  Speaker 2: Hm, but it can't be.
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  Speaker 3: Nike if it was before Nike, right, I don't know. Okay,
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  Speaker 3: it can be. I thought before Nike would disqualify Nike.
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  Speaker 3: But I'll say.
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  Speaker 2: Nike, okay, And then you want to just take a
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  Speaker 2: wild guess of how much the.
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  Speaker 3: How much it costs two hundred Now, that's too cheap,
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  Speaker 3: three hundred and fifty dollars.
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  Speaker 2: All right? So it was Nike. It was the hyper
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  Speaker 2: adapt one point zero. We talked about this in twenty sixteen.
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  Speaker 2: We did, that's right, Yeah, resell value two thousand to
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  Speaker 2: four thousand dollars.
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  Speaker 3: Woah, are these guys still floating around?
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  Speaker 2: I don't know if they are. Nobody's selling them.
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  Speaker 3: So kind of did alright on that one. That's that's tough.
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  Speaker 2: With the right. No. I mean you did those without
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  Speaker 2: any multiple choice, and I had multiple choice ready for you.
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  Speaker 3: That's true. I got the core. That's that's pretty good.
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  Speaker 2: I mean the nineteen eighty four was a great guess.
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  Speaker 3: I don't know how I pulled that one out.
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  Speaker 2: He pulled it out of somewhere somewhere dark.
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  Speaker 3: Well, what a great, great segue into you know what
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  Speaker 3: we're talking about today, which I think the title of
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  Speaker 3: this episode, more so than other episodes, really says it all.
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  Speaker 3: Terrifying Turkey Day tech gifts you never asked for? So
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  Speaker 3: what what's going on here? Exactly? Well, here's the idea.
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  Speaker 3: Black Friday, pretty celebrated retail holiday. We've discussed it before,
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  Speaker 3: but Thanksgiving, the holiday itself not usually associated with gift giving.
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  Speaker 3: We're thinking it's time to change that. And since Turkey
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  Speaker 3: and technology start with the same letters, makes perfect sense
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  Speaker 3: that Thanksgiving gift giving, you know, as a gift giving holiday,
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  Speaker 3: should be devoted exclusively to tech products. Not only that,
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  Speaker 3: we even have a couple new products to help get
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  Speaker 3: this tradition started. These tech products just so happen to
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  Speaker 3: be terrifying. But that aside, you know, we're going to
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  Speaker 3: talk through each of these and not only we're going
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  Speaker 3: to talk about these products, we're going to talk about
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  Speaker 3: how they would make a good Turkey Day gift. You
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  Speaker 3: know who you would give it to? Why it would
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  Speaker 3: be a good gift, and why it makes sense on Thanksgiving.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's going to be a lot of fun. I
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  Speaker 2: think this this episode because you know, we like to
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  Speaker 2: change things up a little bit and give you some
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  Speaker 2: food for thought, if you will.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, a new thing for Thanksgiving that you can introduce
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  Speaker 3: to your family. Why don't we start with the first product,
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  Speaker 3: which is a real humdinger, Patrick, Why don't you tell
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  Speaker 3: us about what that product is?
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  Speaker 2: Love when you say old man where it's like humdinger.
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  Speaker 2: So the first product, which I alluded to in the
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  Speaker 2: trivia is Robot Technology NEO. If you haven't heard about this,
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  Speaker 2: This was marketed as a home robot designed to take
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  Speaker 2: on the mundane household tasks, if you will, that people
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  Speaker 2: have in their daily lives and allow them to focus
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  Speaker 2: on what matters. It combines a trio of promises okay, utility,
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  Speaker 2: so doing chores and things like that. Design, it's safe,
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  Speaker 2: it's a human friendly. It's soft, believe it or not.
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  Speaker 2: It's got like a fabric that covers up all the
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  Speaker 2: it looks like a big knitted sweater. And it also
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  Speaker 2: has intelligence so AI built in and it adapts and
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  Speaker 2: learns based on the things that you teach it. Over time,
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  Speaker 2: it grows with you. They say, when they're asking for
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  Speaker 2: your two hundred dollars deposit, trust me, it's more than
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  Speaker 2: two hundred dollars. It also features this soft body design,
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  Speaker 2: like I was saying, with these like tendon driven actuators
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  Speaker 2: for safe movement. They talk about how it's lightweight and
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  Speaker 2: it's built for use around people in a home environment.
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  Speaker 2: So it's about five to six heighth and only weighs
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  Speaker 2: sixty six pounds. It's lift capacity one hundred and fifty
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  Speaker 2: four pounds. Carry capacity is fifty five pounds, the arm
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  Speaker 2: payload eighteen pounds. I'm giving you some of these numbers
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  Speaker 2: because there have been questions, you know, like what if
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  Speaker 2: it wanted to pick up a giant rock and drop
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  Speaker 2: it on me while I'm sleeping. It could, in theory
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  Speaker 2: do that. It could. The company that created this or
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  Speaker 2: who's releasing it is called one X. It's like Twitter
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  Speaker 2: became X and then X is the big thing today.
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  Speaker 2: X hot so one X. But it learns and performs
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  Speaker 2: tasks through this AI. So yeah, it's a robot and
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  Speaker 2: it's got these beaty little eyes, and it talks to you,
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  Speaker 2: and it learns.
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  Speaker 3: It's quite a spectacle, a.
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  Speaker 2: Spectacle to behold.
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  Speaker 3: And inspired a lot of internet's comedy.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, and the website, they have a keynote, they have
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  Speaker 2: a video on YouTube even and you know the comments
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  Speaker 2: on YouTube are hilarious. There's the classic ones like Terminator,
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  Speaker 2: They're gonna come and kill us. Then then they're the
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  Speaker 2: funnier ones, which are actually probably more in line with
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  Speaker 2: real life, which is this thing is just weird and
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  Speaker 2: creepy and strange, especially the way they promote it with
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  Speaker 2: video and some of the scenes that they show.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just got that kind of like cheesy almost
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  Speaker 3: like infomercial vibe. If you didn't know any better, you'd
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  Speaker 3: be like, this is gorilla marketing for some kind of
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  Speaker 3: Megan like horror movie. Yeah, and this thing's also kind
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  Speaker 3: of slow. That's what makes it pretty funny. So it
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  Speaker 3: wants to help you, but you don't know how much
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  Speaker 3: help it's going to be. There is the chance, though,
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  Speaker 3: twenty years we look back and we're like, oh, that's
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  Speaker 3: what broke the seal, you know, that's what started at all,
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  Speaker 3: And now we have these humanoid household robots everywhere.
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  Speaker 2: And maybe the beginning of something really amazing. You know,
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  Speaker 2: we could have these robots, you know that help us
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  Speaker 2: with things. They follow us around, drive us places, do things.
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  Speaker 3: For us, annoys.
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  Speaker 1: You know.
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  Speaker 2: You might name it like hey, Steve, stop bothering me.
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  Speaker 2: And he's like, but you asked me to come with you,
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  Speaker 2: And you're like, but I don't want you to come here,
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  Speaker 2: and he's like, make up your mind, Patrick, And you're
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  Speaker 2: having an argument with your humanoid robot companion.
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  Speaker 3: So let's talk about the you know, Turkey Day tech
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  Speaker 3: gift aspect of this. Who are you going to give
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  Speaker 3: it to? Why would it be a good gift for them?
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  Speaker 3: And why does it make sense for Thanksgiving?
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  Speaker 2: Uh? Okay, who would I give that to? I'd probably
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  Speaker 2: give it to my dad because he he has a
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  Speaker 2: love for technology, and I think he would really like
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  Speaker 2: this robot for about ten seconds and then he would
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  Speaker 2: treat it like his phone when he gets frustrated with
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  Speaker 2: his phone. It's not doing what it's supposed to be doing, Like, well,
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  Speaker 2: what is it supposed to be doing? Well? It lost
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  Speaker 2: all my music? How did the robot lose your music?
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  Speaker 2: You know, stuff like that. But I think it's a
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  Speaker 2: good gift because you're outsourcing eye contact. Yeah, and it
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  Speaker 2: makes sense for Thanksgiving because again, maybe this thing could
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  Speaker 2: carve the turkey for you. It's got the washable fabric,
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  Speaker 2: so if it gets like the turkey juice on it,
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  Speaker 2: you could just throw it in the washing machine. That's true,
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  Speaker 2: crumple it up and throw it in the whole robot
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  Speaker 2: into the washing machine, like I forgot to take I
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  Speaker 2: thought it was washaball. I didn't forgot to take the
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  Speaker 2: sweater off of my robot.
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  Speaker 3: So I you know, I had some similar ideas, probably
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  Speaker 3: a little I skewed a little farther. I was like,
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  Speaker 3: who would you give it to? I was thinking somebody older,
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  Speaker 3: like a grandma, a great grandma, somebody who's older and
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  Speaker 3: lives alone. You know, these are kind of my two criteria,
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  Speaker 3: the older the better.
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  Speaker 2: The older the better. Someone who relies solely on this robot,
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  Speaker 2: and then when it doesn't take care of them, it's.
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  Speaker 3: Well, I don't know if you want to completely put
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  Speaker 3: your life in its hands, but I'm thinking this thing
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  Speaker 3: is creepy as it looks like something that would kill you.
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  Speaker 3: I know they tried to design it not to be creepy,
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  Speaker 3: but most people are going to think it's pretty creepy, right, yeah,
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  Speaker 3: but not necessarily. You know, someone's older, maybe the vision problems,
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  Speaker 3: or they're just happy to have someone around the lonely,
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  Speaker 3: the disabled.
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  Speaker 2: They're like, Shad, thanks for coming to visit me in
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  Speaker 2: the nursing home exactly. And it's and it's basically answering,
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  Speaker 2: like I'm glad to come see you, grandma.
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  Speaker 3: It's my pleasure. And the other thing is, you know,
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  Speaker 3: it's it's supposedly pretty slow and limited, and so most
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  Speaker 3: people would probably get frustrated. It's not like I can
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  Speaker 3: do that much faster than you can.
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  Speaker 2: Forget it.
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  Speaker 3: I'll do it myself. But you know, not an old
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  Speaker 3: persons having trouble getting up or getting around. You know,
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  Speaker 3: they'll be happy, like, oh you got me that glass
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  Speaker 3: of water I asked for a half hour ago. Thank
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  Speaker 3: you so much.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you.
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  Speaker 3: Maybe they forgot about it.
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  Speaker 2: Just give them enough sustenance that they don't just pass away,
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  Speaker 2: you know. So the robot gets them water, but it
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  Speaker 2: just might be way late, yeah, you know, but it
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  Speaker 2: still gets it there. It fed them and like you.
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  Speaker 3: You know, I was I had some similar ideas for Thanksgiving.
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  Speaker 3: I was thinking, though, you know, you have everybody at
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  Speaker 3: the Thanksgiving table, you do like an introduction and be
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  Speaker 3: like everybody me, it's Grandma's new gift Neo, you know,
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  Speaker 3: and have it walk in, take a seat at the table,
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  Speaker 3: and like you, I was thinking, it's gonna car our
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  Speaker 3: turkey today, even though it might take a while, one
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  Speaker 3: slice every fifteen minutes, but it's like, you know, it's
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  Speaker 3: like you're adding a new member to the family. So
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  Speaker 3: what better time to do it than Thanksgiving.
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  Speaker 2: Especially because everyone's gathered around. They can make fun of it,
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  Speaker 2: they can ask questions about it, they can get frustrated
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  Speaker 2: with it, they can wonder why you even introduced it
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  Speaker 2: to the family.
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  Speaker 3: They could ask that question directly to Neo.
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  Speaker 2: Right, yeah, so I mean again terrifying tech products. Nobody
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  Speaker 2: asks for Neo, the new robot humanoid robot Neo.
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  Speaker 3: Now we come to our next terrifying tech product for
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  Speaker 3: Turkey Day, of course, and that one is Nike's new
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  Speaker 3: robot assisted shoe. So let me tell you a little
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  Speaker 3: bit about this. Nike has introduced Project Amplify, what a
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: cool name, a futuristic line of robot assisted shoes designed
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: to help everyday walkers and runners go farther with less effort.
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: The system combines a lightweight motor drive belt and rechargeable
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: cuff battery with a carbon fiber running shoe to act
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: like quote unquote a second set of calf bustles.
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  Speaker 2: So, which is weird. It's weird to think about.
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  Speaker 3: You know a lot of people are like, oh, man,
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: I could really use a second centecaf muscles. Nike says
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  Speaker 3: the tech can help regular users hit a comfortable ten
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  Speaker 3: to twelve minute mile pace, similar to how e bikes
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  Speaker 3: give riders an extra boost. Still in development, project Amplify
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  Speaker 3: has been tested by over four hundred athletes and was
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  Speaker 3: built in partnership with robotics firm Defie de Phy and
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  Speaker 3: the Nike Sports Research Lab have so this one in
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  Speaker 3: the testing phase, but coming soon. We have it, of
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: course early to introduce a Thanksgiving.
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  Speaker 2: The one thing I'm always thinking about on Thanksgiving is
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: I wish gravity fought me less on the way to
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  Speaker 2: the fridge. The visualization of having extra calf muscles is
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: it's actually pretty grotesque. So I don't know why they
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: say that. Yeah, it's a terrible idea to put in
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: your mind.
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, acts like it. It's not like you're really doubling up.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: No, No, but you know immediately your brain like, that's
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: the visualization you get. It's funny because both of these
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: they have robot esque qualities to them. I mean one
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: is a robot, but the other one has robot s
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: qualities because they say it's like robot boost while you walk.
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, one's giving you a robot. One's kind of making
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: you a little robotic.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: How do you feel about that? That's my question? I guess,
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: how do you feel about this this problem? In general?
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  Speaker 3: It doesn't seem like it's for me.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: Who is as far? I feel like ten to twelve
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  Speaker 2: minute miles?
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: I don't know, ten to twelve minute that's like a
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: running pace.
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  Speaker 2: Maybe not the target demographic, but a running pace for
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: what Because that's a really slow run.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: No, that's not that slow of a run, like I
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: run it like a ten minute mile. So I don't
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: totally understand that.
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  Speaker 2: That's what I don't. I'm like trying to picture someone
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: walking that fact, you'd be like, yeah, like power walking.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: So anyway, who'd you give it to? Who would you
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: give this to?
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: Well, to that end, I would give it to that
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: family member who has let themselves go a little bit,
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: you know, maybe an uncle or a sibling who has
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: not made exercise a priority in recent years or decades.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: Because if you're a person who moves or exercises fairly regularly,
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: I don't know that this is for you. So this
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: to me seems like it's for like, you know, I'm
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: a little out of shape. I don't really move or
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: exercise or anything like that. So that's who I'm giving
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  Speaker 3: it to. Okay, why would it be a good gift?
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: Not only is it a futuristic piece of tech, I
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: think it can, you know, compel this person to get
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: in shape. It's making something that's hard for them a
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: little easier, at least physically in some way. I think,
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: you know, it's like, hey, go walk around the block.
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: It won't be as hard, right, Yeah, so that's kind
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: of my idea. You could also frame it a little
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: bit as this could be taken offensively, right as a gift.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so you could.
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: Kind of do it, you know. I think the E
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: byte comparison is good. This is just make it make
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: you go a little quicker, or it could be like
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: it's like a superpower for you go walk or run
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: without barely even moving your lece. You can also lie
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: and be like, I work for a company, need someone
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: to test this out for thirty days. And I thought
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: of you.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: I thought only of you. That's how you get them.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: I thought only of you.
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: You were the one person who came to my mind.
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: Why does it make sense for Thanksgiving? You're eating lots
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: of food, you feel like a sloth. Why not burn
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: some of that off by slapping these puppies on either
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: before or after the meal, you know, so right away
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: you can start using this.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: That's a healthy dose of technology to be giving on
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: Turkey Day. I do have a hard time, though, who
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: you'd give it to? That person I feel like is
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: the worst person to give it to. I mean, I
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: know that's the I mean, that's my natural inclination is
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: to give it to that person who needs it, who
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: is like, you know, kind of struggled with it, or
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: you know, that person who insists that's you know, the
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: smart watch steps count double after pie on Thanksgiving?
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: You know, I think this is going to injure them.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, how do they? You know, because your body's not
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: even prepared for that, because you know, they're hitting all
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: their steps without even trying, you know, And that does
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: to me, It doesn't seem like it. You know, the
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: physics of it doesn't seem like it makes sense. But
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: I'm with you. I'd want to give it to that,
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: you know, that person who definitely needs it. I just
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: don't know who that is other than an athlete who
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: wants to go faster. I mean, it's a good gift
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: for anybody. It kind of turns your legs into Tesla's,
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: you know, like ludicrous mode. You're kind of going super fast,
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: except hopefully less likely to burst into flames, which is possible.
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: Or what if you you know, wear them for a
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: while and it's just like Forrest Gump's leg braces. They
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: just pop off and then you just take off.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that could be cool. Yeah, robot assisted shoes another thing.
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: Maybe, I mean, maybe we got it wrong. Maybe you
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: need like a person who's like totally in the middle,
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: Like I do some stuff sometimes, but maybe that's your
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: Maybe that's your target, like I should walk a little more.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: So you're just an average person who just does average things,
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: and man, this just made you above average.
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there you go, making the average above average. Maybe
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: that's what this is all about, not making the below
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: average average.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's nice to feel above average, you know
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: what I mean, and the average person just wants that.
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, they just need to cross that line.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: Mind thundering. One oh one. Speaking of mind thundering.
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: Those are products that are that actually exists. They're out
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: there in the world. Now it's time for us to
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: bring something new into fruition from our own brains.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so we're each going to share one original terrifying
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: Turkey Day tech gift that you didn't ask for, and
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: the same rules really apply. We're gonna, you know, talk
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: about who we'd give it to, why it would be
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: a good gift, you know, why it makes sense for Thanksgiving,
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: and maybe you have some thoughts on this too, like
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: what would be a great terrifying Turkey Day tech gift
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: that no one asked for? That second half of that
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: statement is always really critically important.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, people can't have if they have asked for it,
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: we don't want.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if it was something that was like, oh yeah,
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: that makes a lot of sense, I'll tell you right now.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: I think mine makes a lot of sense even though
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: no one asked for it.
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: I think mine does too. Mine might be asked for
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: after people hear it, But why don't you go. You
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: go first. Let's see see what you got.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: All right. Mine is called the seven second Stuffing Suit.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: Okay, I love the name.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: Totally original name, all from the heart here. It's a
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: full body exo suit that detects when you're approaching Thanksgiving
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: like a Thanksgiving Day table, and automatically compresses your torso
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: I up to thirty percent okay, and it gives you
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: extra stomach capacity for a maximum holiday intake. Wait a second,
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: all right.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: How does it give you more capacity by compressing?
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: I'm getting to that, I'm getting okay, sorry, So think
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: of as spanks meets iron Man. It's designed by me,
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: who you know, misunderstood the meaning of portion control. I
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: don't really know how to explain the tech. But expands
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: your stomach essentially even though it's compressing. It's expanding the
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: inside but compressing the outside. So your pants don't actually,
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: you know, like how people say I gotta unbutton my pants,
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: You don't have to unbutton them. It's only happening on
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: the inside of your stomach. Almost like you're compressing the
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: space between your stomach wall and your skin and you
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: have the outside of your body.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: Science sounds pretty good there.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: It's physically possible. I've I've checked the math. Ah, I've
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: tripled checked the math. So who'd I give this to?
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: I'd give this to myself. Self gifting might be a sin,
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: but saving room for dessert is one more of the
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: difficult things. I think at Thanksgiving when you're like me
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: and you're like, oh, but I just want a little
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: bit more of that before I get to the dessert,
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: and then you're like bummed because you couldn't get enough dessert.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: So this will allowed me to achieve my true potential,
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: you know, as a human trash compactor. Why it's a
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: good gift. You know, nobody wants to choose between mashed
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: potatoes and stuffing. It's a good gift. With the seven
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: second stuffing suit, you don't have to do that. It
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: optimizes your internal storage volume. It's tupperware but for your organs.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: And everybody loves tupperware at Thanksgiving because that's where you
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: take the leftovers home in. So why it makes sense
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is the one day of the year
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: where eating until you question your life decisions is not
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: only accepted, it's expected. So and second stuffing suit combines
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: tradition with technology, even if it's terrifying technology that nobody
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: asked for in the worst and best possible way.
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: Tupperware for your organ.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: I you know, I love it. Tupperware for your organs
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: is like a great slogan too, you know what I mean?
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, who wouldn't go for that. It's got
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: a great name. The name sells itself. I don't care
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: what it is, I'm buying it.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: I literally came up with that name during a power nap.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: I was power napping and I was like, what do
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: I call this thing that I have the idea for him? Like,
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: it's the seven second stuffing suit. I mean, it's perfect alliteration. Yeah,
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: all the way across.
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: Did you like shoot up? Do you like your eyes
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: opened and you just shot up and you said the words.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: Yes. I felt like Einstein, you know, when he would
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: like what he used to put his head on the
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: pencil or whatever and we'd fall and it was like
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: this brilliant light. That's how that's how it happened.
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: I mean, that's a good one. And you know solving.
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: You're right, people might need that. People want that. How
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: can I eat more?
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean nobody asked for it, but people would
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: definitely want it. I mean, look at we had the
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: stovetop stuffing pants at one point. I mean, that's silly.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: This is actually science. It's scientifically possible.
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: So yeah, that's a good one. I mean, might be
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: better than you know, Neo.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: It's definitely better than NEO for sure. Might be a
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: little scary having tougherware for your organs, but you know, well.
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: It's supposed to be terrifying in some way. Well let
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: me let me see what you think of this one,
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: this one being the Family Exit time Optimizer. The what
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: the family exit time optimizer? Okay, for helping family members
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: leave before overstaying their welcome. So how this technology works
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: as it uses thermal cameras, eye movement tracking, in small
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: talk fatigue analysis to calculate when each guest is psychologically
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: primed to head home. When the perfect departure window opens,
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: the smart home sends a gentle, totally coincidental text from
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: an unknown number such as, hey, did you mean to
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: leave your garage door open? Or your pet just made
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: a noise that sounded significant, or you might want to
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: check on your house. If there's no response to these texts,
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: you know, if that doesn't kind of get the person moving.
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: Then we move into slightly creepy mode where their car
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: alarm goes off and their car starts remotely. Because nothing
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: wraps up family time like a vehicle that's more eager
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: to go home than its owner.
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: That's true, Like, Uh, my car is ready to go.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: I gotta go.
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: I mean, what am I gonna My car is on.
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: I keep trying to turn it off. It just keeps
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: turning on. I'm just leaving.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: I think it's a sign. Guys. I think it's a sign.
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: I think it's time for me to go.
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: I don't know what else to do here. So, you know,
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: who do you give this to? Like you, my first
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: thought was yourself, this might be a gift you give
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: to you just kind of keep things on the down low.
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: You know, you're hosting the event. You put this in there,
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: and then you can kind of, you know, control everybody
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: when it's time to leave. But my second thought was,
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: you know, maybe if you're a little more open about it,
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: it could be a gift kind of for everybody. At Thanksgiving,
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: You're like, listen, we all know it's weird. At the end,
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: somebody's like you want somebody to leave or people are
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: staying too long. You know it's time to go, and
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: you're like, can't get out of here. You know, maybe
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: you could just be upfront about it and like, listen,
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: we're going to use this technology and it's going to
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: tell us when it's time for each of us to go. Yeah,
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: you could take the covert approach or the upfront approach.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: I like both.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: Yea.
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: Honestly depends on your the family or the scenario, what
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: kind of people you're working with.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess that's a choice you have to make,
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: and you could probably make it based on you as theah.
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: You'll know why this would be a good gift. Obviously
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: prevents the dreaded Thanksgiving evening drift into hour four of
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: so How's work automates the process of determining what we're
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: all too polite to say out loud. It's time for
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: someone to go, maybe time for everyone to go? Why
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: does it make sense for Thanksgiving? Post meal? Social stamina
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: collapses rapidly? Science supports this, and you know, coordinating departures
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: kind of an unspoken group project. Every year, the optimizer
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: just takes the wheel for you. Thanksgiving gatherings are all
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: about gratitude. And nothing says thanks, like knowing exactly when
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: to go home.
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: Oh, I like that. Remind me the name again.
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: The name it is the Family Exit Time Optimizer Exit
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: Time Demiser Optimizer.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: It's a mouthful.
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it probably needs like a you know, stupid shortened
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: name like Jerby or something, you know.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: Jerby Srby. This is a good I mean, it's a
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: good tech product actually that nobody really asked for. But
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: it's a good tech product. I actually think people have
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: asked for this, they just don't know it.
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, mentally, they're asking for it all the time.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: The very first thing that came to mind when you
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: were telling me this was it created a mind thundering
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: storm in me and I immediately went to the family
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: friendly freeze ray. That's what I would call this tech
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: product that you inspired, and that was it's a product
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: that worked similarly in yours. But you know, it's like
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: you know, when you bring like a candle or something
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: and you put it on the you know, the dinner table,
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: and that candle then would be like become a freeze ray,
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: and it essentially when it was time for you to
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: go like your tech it would just almost like freeze
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: everyone at the table and in the vicinity and then
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: you just leave. And then when you're gone, everybody goes
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: back to normal and they're like, oh, yeah, you know,
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: and they're like where did where did Shad go? They're like, oh,
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: I don't I don't know. He was here second ago,
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: wasn't he? And then you know, but you're gone, you left.
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah. That, I mean, that's like a really simple You
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: set that up somewhere and when you're ready to go,
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: you just hit a button and you're you're out of there.
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Maybe it's like a little wristband that you wear
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: and it detects your pulse and it's like, yeah, it's ready.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: He's ready. He's ready to go. Even if you don't
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: know you're ready, it knows.
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: You're ready or you're not admitting you're ready.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: I like this idea though, because I think it's perfect
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: for Thanksgiving, especially families where you just you're not exactly
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: sure when you should leave.
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah it's going on too long, or you know, someone's
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: getting out of control with their ranting and raving.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: And it happens at every Thanksgiving. I feel like for
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: every family.
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, here you have an automated thing that's.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: Like Okay, the prompts are great, like you should check
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: on your house. It's very uh cryptic, and yeah, you
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: know I like that. I like that. Again, another terrible
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: tech product.
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: I mean, we got a lot of them. Might have
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: to wait another year till they're actually on the market.
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: But a few things to choose from. Two things to
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: chew on this Thanksgiving when you're sitting around with your family,
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: talk about these things. Who would want them? Who they'd
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: be good for?
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so you know, a little takeaway for today. If
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: today proved anything, it's the technology will keep marching forward,
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: whether we ask for it or not. The best we
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: can do is embrace the weird, you know, like Neo,
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: or enjoy the convenience of Nike's robot shoes that double
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: up on your calve muscle, and basically make sure that
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: robots don't unionize before dessert on Thanksgiving. If that's not
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: the spirit of Thanksgiving, I don't know what is.
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree, invite invite Neo to your Thanksgiving, you know,
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: and bring the technology. And I actually just had this idea.
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: What if we slap the you know, robot calves onto Neo?
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: Who goes? It's problematic for going a little slow. Maybe
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: we can speed this guy up a little bit.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, a little too much. Then he like gets a
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: taste of what it's like to be fast.
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, let's hope he just enjoys Thanksgiving with his new family.
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: All right, Well, remember, you can give thanks or you
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: can give tech. But if you give both, you can't
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: be surprised when the tech demands thanks on Thanksgiving.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: That should been your takeaway right there.
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's it for today's episode. You can find current
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: and past episodes of the Post podcast, including all the
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: ones that we've done around the Thanksgiving holiday thirteen years
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: in counting, on Speaking human dot com.
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: We'll be back in two weeks with another special episode
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: of Speaking Human. Catch it in Humans
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: Speakcking Human.