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when a narcissist runs out of excuses · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on beautiful people?
• 0:02
  Welcome to another episode of the narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite selfaware narcissist, Mr. Lee Hammock
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  better known as mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This is the first time I sit in
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  my face and hear my lovely voice.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and I have you know,
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  I use my platform on social media to raise awareness for
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  NPD, get more people in their therapy and also validate the
• 0:21
  victim survivors. Any thrivers of said disorder
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  said toxic people said toxic traits.
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  Today's episode is going to be about rock bottom for a
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  narcissist, What it might look like, How do narcissists get
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  there? My own personal rock bottom
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  story and whatnot. So before we hop into today's
• 0:37
  episode, y'all make sure you check out the self Love brand.
• 0:40
  The new available from the Self Love brand.
• 0:42
  Impact over Intent. This is the blue version, the
• 0:45
  latest in the description of every single video and podcast
• 0:47
  that I do Impact over intent. But yeah, y'all.
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  So let me put this back on real quick.
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  But rock bottom. So I did a video.
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  I did a video a couple years ago when I first got started on
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  YouTube about my rock bottom. But two years later my thoughts
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  have changed on rock bottom. Y'all because let me go ahead
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  and preface this y'all. Not everybody has a rock bottom.
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  Not every narcissist or toxic person has a rock bottom.
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  The only way I got through therapy is because I hit rock
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  bottom. And I know a lot of people, when
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  you hear rock bottom, you think of like this one cataclysmic
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  event in somebody's life or somebody's journey where they
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  just like the ground just drops off from underneath them and
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  swallows them up. And they just finally hit the
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  bottom like there's no further you can go.
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  They lose everything. They, you know, all this stuff
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  happens. But like to me, in my mind, on
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  my own personal rock bottom journey, I hit, there's more
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  than and like I said, y'all, there's not just one singular
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  rock bottom. I hit the physical rock bottom.
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  I was overweight, I hit financial rock bottom.
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  I was broke. I hit emotional rock bottom.
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  I was undiagnosed. I was struggling with my mental
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  health and I hit like, what I say emotional, physical,
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  emotional, physical mental rock bottom.
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  All of it was known y'all. I hit so many different rock
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  bottoms, like at the same time. It wasn't just one
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  Catholiclysmic event that just I hit familial rock bottom.
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  My family, my wife left marriage rock bottom.
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  Like y'all had so many rock bottoms in my life at the same
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  time. It was like a perfect storm of
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  rock bottoms. It wasn't just one thing.
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  It was a lot of different things.
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  All of it was gone. No, my life was nowhere where it
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  needed to be. And then, like, it's like a
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  yellow brick road of rock bottles.
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  Like you're walking down this path through the woods.
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  You don't know what you're. You don't know what you're
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  doing. You're lost.
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  Because I was lost in my life. I didn't know what the hell I
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  wanted to do. I know I wanted to be
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  successful. I had the delusions of a
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  grandeur, right. I knew I wanted that part.
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  But then, like, I. It's kind of like you start
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  running through the woods. Like, you know how you get you
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  going through the. Like, let's say you go to a dark
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  room or you had This is a good one right here.
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  Let's say you're in a room, right?
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  And you cut the lights off and you're scared of the dark, so
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  you take off running. Remember, you were a kid.
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  You was like, okay. I got to turn the lights off in
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  the kitchen, but not going to run through the kitchen in the
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  dark. So you turn the light off, you
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  take off running and you can't really see.
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  You might bump into something. That's how it is with rock
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  bottom, with darkness and people.
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  We turn the lights off in our life.
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  We turn the lights off on our mental health, our physical
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  health, our financial health, you know, all all different
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  types of thing. We turn it off and we just start
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  running through the darkness and guess what happens?
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  We start running down this pathway of darkness, not knowing
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  what we do and not knowing what we're looking for, and then the
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  ground drops off from underneath us.
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  It's a pathway we keep. You get lost on several
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  different paths, pathways, physical rock bottom, it all
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  happened and for me, it all happens at the same time.
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  It's like my reality has split into 3-4 different things and I
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  fell off the fell off. I came to the end of the road
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  and fell off the Cliff because I was running in the darkness.
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  I didn't know what I wanted, I didn't know what I was doing.
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  So I fell off multiple cliffs at the same time, if that makes
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  sense. And then I hit rock bottom at
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  the same time. All of it had to happen at once.
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  And yeah, I've been feeling like this way for a very long time.
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  Yeah, my wife left and that was the final rock bottom.
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  I hit my wife, left, took my, took my youngest son, and she
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  bounced. She was gone.
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  This is the first time she left. And then on the way out the
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  door, she called me a narcissist.
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  She's like, it's so damn hard. I'm, I'm tired of being here.
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  I'm leaving. It's so damn hard.
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  Live with the Narciss. And of course I called her
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  narcissist back and then she left and I got angry and looked
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  at the word narcissist. I y'all I was in the house by
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  myself with just my dog with La La and me and La La.
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  I've been through a lot. She's been this the road that's
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  literally my Rd. dog. But she left and I was like in
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  the house by myself. Angry.
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  Y'all this angry is through. And I was like, why the hell she
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  called me a narcissist? So I looked it up and it made
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  sense as to why I've been feeling this weird way my whole
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  life, why I've been feeling like an alien amongst human beings my
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  whole life. Why I never felt like I felt it
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  like never felt like I fit in. You see what I'm saying?
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  All this stuff had to happen at once at the same time.
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  Ah, boom, rock bottom. No, I had no one else to blame.
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  I had everything. Everybody else, everything.
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  And everybody else was going y'all.
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  The only person I had to blame was myself because I fell.
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  I hit so many rock bottoms at the same time.
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  I can't blame 65 other people. It's on me now.
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  So for that narcissistic person in your life, I know people
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  like, well, Lee, how do I make my narciss?
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  You can't make somebody hit rock bottom.
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  Y'all. You can't make it because so
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  many, so many narcissistic people don't have a rock bottom.
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  And for those who are close to hitting it, so many people are
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  there to enable their behaviors, or to pick them up, or to catch
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  them right before they can hit it.
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  There's so many people to enable their behaviors, to forgive them
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  from BS over and over and over and over again, to keep them
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  from hitting rock bottom, to keep them from getting the
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  necessary pain in their life to make change.
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  I have rock bottom is pain. Rock bottom is suffering.
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  Rock bottom is having nowhere else to go.
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  You can't go any further down. It's only up.
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  You're going to go up or the only way you can get up is to
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  turn the light back on in your life and find a pathway.
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  Find a pathway to healing. I had to find a pathway to
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  healing. Y'all, I thought, I'm getting
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  emotional. Shake it off, shake it off.
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  I had to find a pathway to healing.
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  Seriously, So many, so many narcissists that people talk to
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  people. People who are struggling with
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  their mental health can't hit rock bottom because there's
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  always somebody there to catch them, to stop them from hitting
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  it. I I'll help you.
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  Let me fix you your your girlfriend boyfriend husband
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  wife leaves you. There's always somebody else to
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  oh you you get your heart broken by your ex.
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  I got you. There's always somebody else to
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  love mom. There's always somebody else to
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  look to to help me blame other other people.
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  My wife left. I was in the room by myself and
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  I just there's nobody else who would want to overweight broke
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  just it is broke sad ass sack of human beings like me.
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  Y'all I had turned the lights off of my life and I hit rock
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  bottom. There's so many so but so many
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  people can't get to it. So many people don't have a rock
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  bottom because they they always have somebody else to blame.
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  They they it seems like they're falling to their rock bottom but
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  they just hitting ledges. They hit a ledge.
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  You know how you fall down the side of a Cliff and there's like
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  this random ledge there? Narcissist the person.
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  Like I lost my job because I was sleeping with my coworker.
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  Is this rock bottom? No.
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  My partner took me back so I didn't get a chance to hit rock
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  bottom. You see what I'm saying?
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  My mom let me move in with them and not pay any bills so I don't
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  have to. There's no there's no rock
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  bottom I get. I get a chance to get back on my
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  feet. Everybody likes me anyway.
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  No matter how bad I treated my partner, no matter how much how
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  many times I lost my job or hurt people, everybody still likes me
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  and supports me. People still believe me.
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  Yo, you can't. There's so many flying monkeys.
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  There's so many blind supporters or narcissistic people.
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  It's then impossible for people to have a rock bottom.
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  You know, it's like the it's like the look instead of hitting
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  rock bottom, it's like some narcissistic people have so many
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  fly monkeys and blind supporters.
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  It's like instead of hitting rock bottom, they crowd surf,
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  you know what I mean? Rock concerts or just concerts
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  in general when they when the the performer jumped into the
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  crowd and the people catch them. That's how it is sometimes.
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  Like the narcissists, like, I'm ready for I'm.
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  I'm going to hit rock bottom and then people catch them and pass
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  them, pass them around, pass them around the crowd and then
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  put them back on the stage and they go right back to living the
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  life the way they were they were.
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  They jump into the crowd, the crowd surf and come back and go
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  back to living life the way they were.
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  That's the that's the perfect example of narcissistic people
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  or their neighbors. They refuse.
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  They won't let them hit the rock bottom.
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  They won't let them get to the point where they can make
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  necessary changes. You see what I'm saying?
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  It's a mind thing. Y'all It's a mental thing.
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  It's mental. It's mental mental illness.
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  Yeah, because rock bottom looks different to everybody.
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  Y'all. It's like I said some people
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  don't have a rock bottom and some people can't hit it because
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  there's always somebody there believe.
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  What if I leave and they don't They don't hit rock bottom.
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  What if they what if I leave and and they find somebody else?
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  Y'all they might find somebody else.
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  That's the that's the risk you have to take.
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  And if they find somebody else and they don't want to work on
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  theirself, they don't have a rock bottom.
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  So you want to go back into that.
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  You want to go back into what? You want to go back into your
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  suffering. You want to go back into your
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  suffering because you can't make, you can't make somebody
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  else hit rock bottom. Y'all.
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  I don't think my wife's goal when she left wasn't for me for
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  me to hit rock bottom. She was leaving so she can climb
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  out the she can climb out the cabin with me.
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  You said she was in the Catherine with me.
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  She was in the precipice with me.
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  She was in the the crevasse with me and she leaving.
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  She decided to climb out. She's like, I'm tired of being
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  in the daughter. She decided to take my son to
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  climb to the climb towards the light believe she came back.
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  See, I went to therapy. I've been in therapy for six
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  years Do y'all see that she didn't find.
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  Look she didn't find. She didn't help me get out of
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  rock bottom. She didn't find me a therapist.
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  She didn't make me go to therapy.
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  She didn't do any of that. She didn't pay for.
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  She didn't do any of that. Y'all got to go here and find
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  your personal therapist. You got to make sure they go.
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  You got to make sure they own the zoom cloud.
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  What the hell is that? Y'all you still need y'all know
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  that's not rock bottom. That's crowd surfing.
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  If you had to find him a therapist, if you had to find
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  him a counselor, you got to find him an Alcoholics Anonymous
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  meeting. You got to find all this stuff
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  there. That's not rock bottom.
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  That's crowd surfing. Your crowd is crowd surfing with
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  a crowd of 1. You you imagine you lifting a
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  heavy ass narcissistic person like I'm a therapist and back to
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  living life the way you want to live it.
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  You see what I'm saying? No, stop.
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  Stop letting them crowd surf and let them hit Look you.
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  Sometimes you have to remove yourself right before they can
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  hit. Imagine imagine a narcissistic
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  person tumbling down the side of the Cliff.
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  They're finally hit towards rock bottom and instead of hitting
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  rock bottom, they land on top of you at the bottom of the cavern
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  because you're there with them. You don't want to leave their
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  side because you're going to support them.
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  Do everything you support them. You A lot of time when you
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  support a narcissist, you end up enabling their behaviors.
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  You're not helping them, you're enabling them.
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  That's what happens tonight in the mind of an artist.
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  You're not helping me. You're enabling me.
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  You want me to keep see you. You accept me for who I am and
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  where I am. You don't want me to change.
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  You don't need me to change. You want me to be right here,
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  where I'm at right now. Because Do you accept me for who
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  I am? You love me so much, you're not
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  going to leave me regardless. If you're not going to leave me
• 10:45
  regardless, why the hell would I change anything up?
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  If you're not going to leave me regardless, why in the hell
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  would I change anything up? Why do I put any effort, time,
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  ever Energy. Because, Lee, what about love?
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  Love. Love.
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  Yeah, I'll mention love one more.
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  Love is not enough. It just ain't.
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  It's not believe. What about the they don't.
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  They don't love me enough to go get help.
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  They don't love themselves enough to go get help.
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  Stop putting it on you. Why do I keep trying to put it
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  onto you? It's not on you.
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  You can love them until you die. They don't love themselves.
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  We don't love ourselves enough. That's that's the thing.
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  You can't help me. Love me.
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  You can't help me love me. I got to take the initiative.
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  I got to get tired of suffering on my own and pay the necessary
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  steps because of rock bottom. If there's no rock bottom, if I
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  can't hit it, believe what I don't want to leave and give up.
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  You're not leaving and giving up.
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  You can stay and suffer. You can suffer at the rock
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  bottom with them, or they can you can help them crowd surf for
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  the rest of their life. You and you helping them crowd
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  surf. Just understand the fact that
• 11:48
  you're lifting them up while you.
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  You can't lift them up without putting yourself down.
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  You can't do that. You can't lift a toxic
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  narcissistic person up and not put yourself down.
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  It doesn't work that way. It doesn't work that way.
• 12:00
  Whenever you've seen a human, pick another human being up and
• 12:04
  float with and fly with them. Other than TV show other than
• 12:06
  Superman. Superman is not human.
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  He's a Kryptonian. You see what I'm saying without
• 12:12
  assistance. Or a suit Or jetpack.
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  It's just it's a wild, wild dynamic.
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  Y'all it is a wild world. It's a wild space to be in when
• 12:23
  you're dealing with narcissistic people.
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  Y'all it just it just is now. Like I said, I want so many
• 12:28
  people to heal. I want so many people to grow.
• 12:29
  I want so many people to experience fulfillment in life,
• 12:32
  not just the survivors and drivers.
• 12:34
  I want the narcissistic person to do it, but they have to want
• 12:36
  to do it on their own. Y'all and sometimes there is no
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  rock bottom, sometimes there's no hope.
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  It'll be real. Sometimes some people don't have
• 12:42
  hope, but it's not. It has less to do with you than
• 12:44
  you think. So many, so many people try to
• 12:47
  put it on themselves, but they they don't want to get help
• 12:48
  because of me. No, y'all keep trying to keep
• 12:51
  trying to point the finger at yourself.
• 12:52
  I know why? Because the narcissist has
• 12:54
  conditioned you that everything is your fault.
• 12:56
  But it's not your fault. Y'all, it's not getting as great
• 13:00
  as y'all. It is absolutely, 100% not your
• 13:03
  fault. In these relationship spaces, in
• 13:05
  these relationship dynamics, you have to empower yourself.
• 13:07
  Like seriously, truly, you have to.
• 13:10
  That's the mindset. That's the mental stuff.
• 13:12
  You have to you have to empower you.
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  Because what? Who?
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  Who's going to empower you? Y'all this is your journey.
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  This is your healing journey. Duh, right?
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  Bottom hurts though. Y'all I got to the point where I
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  could. I had nowhere to go but up and
• 13:25
  up was therapy and I've been there.
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  I have to commit. Every time I go to therapy, I'm
• 13:29
  climbing up a little higher. That's how I look at you.
• 13:31
  That's how I've reframed my mindset.
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  Because when I go to therapy, it's me climbing out of the rock
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  bottom. I'm still in The Cave.
• 13:36
  Y'all I'm not out of The Cave. People just saying you see me
• 13:37
  where I'm at right now. You think I've climbed all the
• 13:39
  way out the top. I'm still in The Cave, I'm still
• 13:41
  in the cavern right now. I'm still climbing my way up.
• 13:43
  Every therapy session is me grabbing another ledge and
• 13:46
  pulling myself up. I got to go to therapy this
• 13:48
  Thursday. I think it's Wednesday.
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  I'm pulling myself up anyways. Y'all I'm out of breath.
• 13:55
  I never got heated. I hope y'all Look, if you made
• 13:58
  it this far you have to drop a rock in the conversation.
• 14:00
  You have to drop the Rocky bogey in the conversation.
• 14:02
  I truly appreciate every single one of y'all.
• 14:04
  Stop helping them crowd surf please.
• 14:09
  I'm super thankful. I'm super grateful for every
• 14:11
  single one of y'all like and subscribe for more.
• 14:14
  And of course y'all this is up. Peace.
• 14:17
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 14:19
  Y'all I'm I am truly, eternally grateful for every single one of
• 14:23
  y'all that support the channel in any way, shape or form.
• 14:26
  If you have it already, make sure you that you subscribe to
• 14:28
  the channel so that we can reach more people.
• 14:30
  To help more people. The Self Love brand is
• 14:33
  available. I'm strong, I love me it's a
• 14:35
  Self Love brand. The Self Love Journal is
• 14:38
  available on Amazon as well to help you rebuild that self love
• 14:41
  and identity you know doing the touch relationship.
• 14:43
  Also look into joining the channel membership to get more
• 14:46
  about behind the scenes perks and things like that.
• 14:49
  Y'all, thank you so much for your support.
• 14:51
  Thank you, thank you, thank you.