Latest / The Action Catalyst / REMASTERED: Protect Your Time, with Christy Wright (Business, Time Management, Success, Author)
Transcript
- 0:00Host: I'm so excited to introduce to you Christy Wright.
- 0:37And she is inspiring and enthusiastic. She educates and
- 0:42entertains audiences all across the country. She speaks at
- 0:45business conferences, fortune 500 companies, some of America's
- 0:49top universities. And so Christy, I'm so excited to have
- 0:52you thank you for being here.
- 0:54Christy Wright: Yeah. Thank you. Thanks for having me. I
- 0:55appreciate it.
- 0:56Host: So, you know, when we talk about time management, why do
- 1:00you think that is so important today? Why is that whole
- 1:03conversation such a big deal?
- 1:05Christy Wright: Well, you know, it's interesting in the last few
- 1:07years, and speaking on this topic, it's such a pain point
- 1:11for people, it's just something that we're struggling with, in
- 1:14every industry, every demographic, every age, every
- 1:17generation, it doesn't matter, the gender, anything we're all
- 1:20struggling with, how to deal with our time and how to manage
- 1:23it. Because we never seem to have enough for everything that
- 1:25we want to do. And I think one of the real challenges is that
- 1:28we don't realize just how finite it is, you can get more of
- 1:33anything in life that you want. Except time, you can earn more
- 1:37money, you can gain more relationships, you can buy more
- 1:39stuff. But regardless of how much power or money or family
- 1:43have in your lifetime, you cannot have a single minute more
- 1:46than every other person has, which is exactly 24 hours in a
- 1:50day. So when we think about just how finite our time there, you
- 1:53start to realize how incredibly valuable I one thing we can't
- 1:57get more of, so that it's more important that we really make
- 2:00sure we're putting it in the best places the right prices,
- 2:03and using it in a way that's gonna be the most effective for
- 2:06what the results we want to get.
- 2:07Host: If time is finite. And it's the one thing that we all
- 2:10have the same amount of and you can't create more of them. Why
- 2:13do you think some people accomplish more things and
- 2:16influence more people? So what's the explanation for that?
- 2:19Christy Wright: Well, I think how we manage it is definitely a
- 2:21big differentiator for our success, we have to keep in mind
- 2:25to everyone's version of success is very different. So someone
- 2:28that is a high achiever will have different goals than
- 2:31someone that is like, you know, who just wants to have a small
- 2:34people live in a small town and not have accomplishments or
- 2:36accolades, or they're, they value different things. And so,
- 2:40our brothers and our success will really determine how we how
- 2:44we handle our time, but because time is so finite, we all have
- 2:47the same amount, then how we handle that really determines
- 2:50our ability to be our version of successful. And so when you look
- 2:54at it that way, you start thinking, okay, how can I manage
- 2:58this in a way? That's going to get me to the results that I
- 3:00want to get to you? And what's interesting is, there's a great
- 3:03quote by Warren Buffett, where he says the difference between
- 3:06successful people and very successful people, is that very
- 3:11successful people say no, to almost everything. And I would
- 3:14say to answer your question, what's the difference between
- 3:17our ability to be successful with our time, it really comes
- 3:20down to our ability to say no, because when we can't say no to
- 3:24things that, you know, demands and opportunities and guilt sets
- 3:28and things people have indicated to them, we live our lives for
- 3:31other people. And we don't end up intentionally creating it on
- 3:34purpose, creating a schedule on purpose proactively to get out
- 3:37all we're achieving everyone else's results. And so I think
- 3:40it comes down to the ability to say no, and whether or not we're
- 3:43going to use that time, in the way that we want to reach our
- 3:45goals.
- 3:45Host: So, when it comes to saying no, and I really think
- 3:48about that, a lot of times we know, you know, we get asked to
- 3:51do something, we really don't want to do it. And we feel this,
- 3:54we feel this guilt, what would you say to somebody who
- 3:58struggles with, you know, saying no, and, and the guilt or the
- 4:03fear that they may be sealed to go, I really want to say no, but
- 4:06I'm having a hard time doing it.
- 4:07Christy Wright: I think the reality is that we have a kid or
- 4:11a to believe that, you know, somehow we can prove everyone
- 4:14and now that we intellectually understand that we can't, but we
- 4:18decide to, and that's where that comes from wanting to say yes,
- 4:22and please that person versus do the right thing. And say no, but
- 4:26it's not the lesson for you. But the reality is, if we can
- 4:29understand that you will always disappoint people, because your
- 4:33time, your money and your energy of finite, you're always gonna
- 4:36have to make choices. And so leadership is really about
- 4:39making the right choices. And when we realize that you're
- 4:42going to disappoint people in leadership, you will disappoint
- 4:46people that is a fact. But the key is just disappointing to
- 4:48white people. And if you discern that to understand, I'm gonna
- 4:52say yes to this situation, because this is the right
- 4:54decision for me and for my business and while I'm doing my
- 4:57goal, then you have a little bit more profit In order to say no
- 5:01to that person, because you're focused more on here yet, this
- 5:04is so that I can say yes to this thing versus just feeling the
- 5:07guilt of saying no to this other person, or really, I mean, all
- 5:10leaders, and everyone in general, we want, we want to
- 5:13make people happy, we don't want to disappoint people. But I
- 5:16think we realized that we're saying no, in order to say yes
- 5:19to something better, and something will work for us and
- 5:22get focused on the guests. And that makes it a little bit
- 5:24easier to do that. You need to decide and leadership, do you
- 5:27want to be popular? Or do you want to be effective? Because
- 5:31you can speak and you can be popular to make everyone happy
- 5:34to say, Yes, everyone is happy, everyone says, but you're not
- 5:37going to be effective. And if you're gonna be effective,
- 5:40sometimes that involves saying no, and doing the right thing
- 5:42for the greater good of the business and the gold and the
- 5:45copper, or yourself personally. But that leads to more effective
- 5:49leader, possibly less popular at times, which is hard, but in the
- 5:52long run, everyone will benefit when you're more effective.
- 5:55Host: Yeah. So how do we avoid overcrowding the schedule?
- 5:58Christy Wright: Well this is a problem for a lot of people
- 6:00because it's just so normal our culture, as a culture, we are
- 6:04maxed out, or maxed out, our credit cards were maxed out our
- 6:07time and our commitment, we were burning the candle at both ends.
- 6:09And this is just the normal day to day, or people stand around
- 6:12the watercooler and talk about just how little sleep they got
- 6:15that night before, almost like it's a badge of honor, and how
- 6:18hard we work, how long we work, how much we have going on how
- 6:21many errands etc. But the reality is, is that felt what
- 6:25leads to a productive or even fulfilling life, because it's
- 6:28not sustainable long term, you're not going to be as
- 6:31effective or productive at work if you maintain that long term.
- 6:34And so really, the idea of just to avoid overcrowding, your
- 6:38schedule is to create margin. So you want to create pockets of
- 6:41time. And it's not a prescription of it has to be
- 6:44this amount of hours. But you need to have some margin and
- 6:47some cushion in your time, just like we teach people with the
- 6:50life account. You don't want to live paycheck to paycheck, you
- 6:52need some cushion and savings and some margin to fall back on
- 6:56with your energy. And that's true with your time. I wrote an
- 6:59article on my blog about this a couple months ago. But what if
- 7:02we just treated our schedule and our energy a little bit
- 7:06differently, where we stopped before we were completely burnt
- 7:09out exhausted, where we called out moments of time, whether
- 7:12that's an hour or 20 minutes or an entire day, where we didn't
- 7:16allow any commitments to come in. And then we're able to focus
- 7:19on rest and recovery and hobbies, and their families. And
- 7:23some of the things that time when we went back, we were
- 7:25actually more productive and effective. But the way that we
- 7:28operate right now, if I have five extra minutes that try to
- 7:31crowbar something else in and write a blog real quick or catch
- 7:34up with someone or make a call. It's like we don't have to
- 7:37operate that way. And we'll actually be more effective if we
- 7:40can create some space and margin. It doesn't make sense
- 7:43logically, because we think, Oh, I could be getting more done.
- 7:46But essentially, those pockets of time is what's going to
- 7:49enable you to be more effective long term and be more
- 7:52sustainable for the long haul and leadership, when the demands
- 7:55are back continue to increase. You can't be creative, when
- 7:58you're exhausted. There's no room for new possibilities.
- 8:01There's no room for spontaneity, where you and your wife just
- 8:04want to go off on a trip or hey, let's go to this new random
- 8:07website. There's no room for so many wonderful things in life,
- 8:11like creative creativity and rest and rejuvenation, and
- 8:14recovery and new possibilities, innovation, all the things that
- 8:19are in space, and stuff we never allow there to be unbelievable
- 8:22or in or faith in, we're missing out on all those awesome things
- 8:25in life that also enrich our business and ourselves
- 8:28personally.
- 8:29Host: So you talk about boundaries, what do you see is
- 8:32the connection between boundaries and your calendar?
- 8:36Christy Wright: I think when you set a boundary, and these, these
- 8:38are absolutely its guidelines. But when you set a boundary, it
- 8:41really helps you decide in advance. And when you make
- 8:44decisions in advance, it takes away so much of the mental angst
- 8:48of trying to decide in the moment, every single time an
- 8:51opportunity, or a request comes up where you've got that pool of
- 8:54water for No, but I feel like I need to say yes, and you've got
- 8:57this mental anxiety going on. If you have a few boundaries that
- 9:00are in place, that you go ahead, and you have already decided in
- 9:03advance that the pressure off of you where you can rely on that
- 9:07boundary because it made the decision for you. So I'll give
- 9:09you an example. Sunday night or night that my husband and I have
- 9:13perfected since the beginning since we even date it and it's
- 9:16just upon that we set aside and we said, with very few
- 9:19exceptions. This is the night that we're gonna have together.
- 9:22We don't do anything exciting. We do laundry and just get up
- 9:25and hang out and get ready for the week. It's not a very
- 9:27exciting time, but it's our time that has protected that time
- 9:31that we can count on together. So anytime anyone asks me to do
- 9:36anything on Sunday night, I don't even have to think about
- 9:38it. Making that decision is effortless. I'm like oh no, I'm
- 9:41sorry. That's That's awesome. My husband and I, and what Doug
- 9:43later this really protects our priorities and it keeps life's
- 9:47endless demands from chipping away at those because you have
- 9:51this protected does. Now of course exceptions come up this
- 9:54last week. I flew out on Sunday because I was going to
- 9:56Connecticut to speak have been doing media and then go to
- 9:59Philadelphia and We didn't have yesterday. So there's gonna be a
- 10:02few exceptions, it's not rigid and absolute, but for the
- 10:05majority of the time, that the time that he and I can tell him
- 10:07and it's a great boundary that makes decision making effortless
- 10:11on you, which is what you need when you're already in so high
- 10:13demand, people get caught up in this idea of okay things as
- 10:16being I'm gonna supposed to work 50% of the time and be at home
- 10:1950% of the time, and no, that's not realistic. That's not the
- 10:22world that we live in. It's not how we function. And so I tell
- 10:25people, it's really not about a 5050 split, it's about being
- 10:28100% present, when you're at work, work hard, be there be
- 10:33focus, when you're at home, put the phone down, close the
- 10:36computer and be present for the people and the moments and the
- 10:39memories that are happening, right and five years. Life
- 10:42Balance is not about giving everything an equal amount of
- 10:45time. It's about giving the right things at the right time.
- 10:49And so there's going to be seasons where you want more. So
- 10:51it's good to have an ebb and a flow. But people get caught up
- 10:53in this prescription of it have to have this equation that
- 10:56equals balance. Well, it's really not that it's really just
- 10:59carving out time for the right thing for you, and giving them
- 11:03attention at the right time in your life, when that makes
- 11:05sense.
- 11:06Host: So, you know, one of the things that's just heartbreaking
- 11:08for me is when people you know, they have kids, and they feel so
- 11:10like helpless, like oh my gosh, how do I keep up with a spouse?
- 11:13And my job and I have kids and all this sort of stuff? Do you
- 11:16have? Have you seen any any sort of common characteristics or
- 11:20traits of people that really do that effectively?
- 11:23Christy Wright: Yeah, I think it comes back to kind of what we
- 11:25were just saying, there's no one right? I have prescription for
- 11:28it. But here's one of the things I have identified, the people
- 11:32that are the most fulfilled and have that sense of balance,
- 11:35meaning they just they feel he's looking self, if that equal
- 11:38split of things, but they just feel pretty good about the way
- 11:41that their life looks up. People spend all their time, or at
- 11:44least the far majority of their time, on things that are
- 11:47important to them. And they don't do things that unimportant
- 11:50to them. Where the opposite is also true. The people that they
- 11:53may have families, they have jobs and their federal maybe,
- 11:56you know, they may manage their schedule well. But when they
- 11:59spend their time on things that they don't care about, just like
- 12:02you and I was saying they go to this place want to go to, they
- 12:06take on projects they shouldn't take on, they take on other
- 12:09people's problems and responsibilities are not there.
- 12:11They quickly get stressed, quickly get exhausted and
- 12:14anxious and frustrated, because they're doing things that are
- 12:17not important to them. So your decision making paradigm is, do
- 12:20they need me and can I do it, and you spend all of your time
- 12:23for someone else, you will get stressed and frustrated and feel
- 12:27Alabama out of balance, even if you have all the time in the
- 12:30world. But you can be incredibly busy and incredibly productive
- 12:33and you could have a lot of things on your plate. But if
- 12:36those things are all important to you, then you have a little
- 12:39bit more sense of balance because you're not wasting time
- 12:42just trying to fill fill everyone else's needs and
- 12:44pleasing other people. You know that what you're doing actually
- 12:48gives you energy and joy because you chose our purpose versus
- 12:51reacting to someone else. Someone else's demands of you.
- 12:53Host: I love that. So Christy, thank you so much for being
- 12:56here. We wish you the very best.
- 12:58Christy Wright: I appreciate it.