Latest / The Danger Zoo / The Pale Coffin

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The Pale Coffin · The Danger Zoo

• 0:03
  Password accepted. Welcome to the Danger Zoo.
• 0:08
  Welcome to the Danger Zoo, the Department of anomalous and non
• 0:12
  human genetic entities, reconnaissance and zoological
• 0:15
  operations. I am Coyote, your game warden
• 0:17
  and welcome to season 2 of the Danger Zoo.
• 0:21
  We are now in 2026 and our campaigns are going to go a bit
• 0:26
  longer this time. We're not going to try and kill
• 0:28
  like a bunch of things all at once.
• 0:30
  It's going to be lots of little things here and there.
• 0:33
  I'll show you lots of little things.
• 0:35
  Hey yo, it's going to be a big storyline for it.
• 0:39
  Last time we got Hazy's soul back right at the end of the
• 0:41
  year, so that was nice. Hazy, you have a new soul, but
• 0:44
  you also have a new power. So pull up your stat sheet and
• 0:48
  read us your new power. We have powers.
• 0:52
  You can still look at a stat sheet.
• 0:55
  Yeah, yes. Apparently I have something
• 1:00
  called spectral grasp type. Oh.
• 1:04
  I don't know what the types say. You're a Pokémon.
• 1:07
  All right, so it's spectral grasp type corrupted divine
• 1:15
  mutation lore. When I overuse payroom spear,
• 1:19
  the divine energy burned my nerves away and left only the
• 1:23
  echo of my soul in that arm. The black frostbite isn't decay,
• 1:29
  it's the mark of separation. Wait, you're turning black?
• 1:33
  My right arm is no longer belonging entirely to the living
• 1:37
  world. It exists halfway in the spirit
• 1:41
  plane. Spectral grasp.
• 1:47
  I'm a striker grasp non corporal beings with his right hand as
• 1:52
  well as a + 5 dissaving throws when picking up cursed objects.
• 1:56
  Damn, that's that's pretty pill. Yeah, Hell yeah.
• 1:59
  Well. I'll say I don't have to worry
• 2:00
  about that kind of shit. That's cool.
• 2:02
  I mean, you, you still got to worry about it A.
• 2:04
  Little bit plus 5A plus 5. Yeah, +5 dude, no way.
• 2:07
  He's good. Yeah, usually how I roll when
• 2:10
  I'm rolling ones and twos. But you know.
• 2:13
  Yeah, but a six out of seven is not going to help either. 6/7
• 2:17
  uh. Oh, that's my mistake.
• 2:22
  Oh, and for Season 2, we are currently using maps from Dice
• 2:26
  Grimorium, so you can go to dicegrimorium.com or you can go
• 2:30
  support them on Patreon. Thank you, Dice Grimorium.
• 2:37
  Mission code name operational Pale howl, Threat
• 2:41
  classification, Hybrid flesh, blood, and terror slash
• 2:44
  supernatural object So an anonymous benefactor has
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  commissioned the Danger Zoo to recover a coffin believed to
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  contain the remnants of an outcast from a remote
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  Appalachian family line. The artifact appeared on the
• 2:58
  deceased front porch the day before they passed away.
• 3:01
  The day before the body could be buried, the Funeral Home where
• 3:04
  the coffin was being held was broken into.
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  Dun Dun, Dun. Security cameras saw a strange
• 3:12
  white cat like creature carrying the coffin out a window.
• 3:16
  The tracker on the coffin shows it at an abandoned logging
• 3:19
  company. This area is believed to be the
• 3:21
  hunting ground for what's known as the Wyatt Fang, A towering
• 3:26
  pale furred creature that stalks the Appalachian foothills when
• 3:29
  the fog rolls in sick. Standing nearly 10 feet tall, it
• 3:33
  moves faster than any man should, sometimes on 2 legs,
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  sometimes on 4, and then special nights 5.
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  Wink wink EW. Witnesses say it screams like a
• 3:45
  woman, smells like rotting meat, and it's red eyes glow even
• 3:49
  through the rain. Some swear it's a beast, others
• 3:53
  say it's a spirit guarding the dead.
• 3:55
  But everyone agrees on one thing.
• 3:57
  Once you've heard that howl in the dark, you'll never forget
• 4:01
  it. Wild thing.
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  This is a threat level 8. It's high risk, major field
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  operation. Location is near Sipsy
• 4:10
  Wilderness, northern Alabama, foothills of the Appalachian
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  Mountains. At the former abandoned Sipsy
• 4:18
  Logging Company is where we are headed.
• 4:20
  Gentlemen, are you guys ready to start this mission?
• 4:24
  I'm ready to go find my cousin. Yo.
• 4:28
  Was it called white? Thang.
• 4:30
  White Thang THING. White Thang.
• 4:35
  Wow thing. Anyways, mission start the time
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  02/17. The helicopter's red cabin
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  lights pulse and sync with the rotor rhythm.
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  Outside the world is a sea of Black Forest and low rolling
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  fog. Lightning flickers behind the
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  Appalachian ridgeline, lighting the mist from within like a
• 4:55
  dying emperor. Are we in a Chinook?
• 5:02
  Sure, you hear the captain go over the radios.
• 5:06
  The mining town is 1/4 mile north from the drop.
• 5:09
  You'll hit tree cover fast, no roads, no lots.
• 5:13
  Once you on the ground radio sound until visual confirmation
• 5:16
  of the sight. The wind shears as the bird
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  banks low below. A break in the trees flashes by
• 5:24
  a clearing card from a forgotten staging yard.
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  Where trucks once turned around 80 years ago, Now it's just mud,
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  burns and half buried stumps. The side doors slam open to the
• 5:34
  storm. Rain whips through the cabin,
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  cold needles against your skin. The smell of wet metal.
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  Hydraulic oil fills the air. The jump master leans out, gives
• 5:45
  you a thumbs up, then signals for the descent.
• 5:48
  The ropes uncoil into the darkness.
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  The rotors kick up a cyclone of mist and leaves that swallow the
• 5:53
  beam with the landing light. 1 by 1 you all land in the
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  clearing. The clearing blow is uneven
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  puddles, Moss, collapse Timbers. Every flash of lightning reveals
• 6:03
  more of the terrain trees. Every flash of lightning reveals
• 6:07
  more of the terrain trees. But oh, every flash of lightning
• 6:11
  reveals more of the terrain trees.
• 6:14
  I swear to God if I say trees one more time I'm going to
• 6:17
  fucking eat a bullet. Every flash of lightning reveals
• 6:20
  more of the terrain. Period.
• 6:22
  The trees lean in like they're waiting for you to turn your
• 6:25
  back. A sea of random torches placed
• 6:28
  along the clearing seems oddly out of place.
• 6:31
  As you guys are hopping out, you hear the pilot go over the
• 6:34
  comms. Welcome to Walmart, get your
• 6:36
  shit and shit out. Hell yeah.
• 6:39
  As the last member unhooks and gives the heel of the wave off,
• 6:42
  the downdraft whips the trees back as it ascends and vanishes
• 6:45
  into the fog. The forest immediately closes
• 6:48
  in, muffling the sound until there's nothing but rainfall,
• 6:51
  and sizzles as the rain sprinkles the torches.
• 6:58
  Just add sound effects. I do.
• 7:01
  OK. So in this clearing you're
• 7:06
  surrounded by trees from the South and the West, but you do
• 7:10
  see a trail in the North East corner heading north.
• 7:15
  And directly north of you guys you see a very small cabin.
• 7:21
  Looks more like a shack than anything, but you can't make out
• 7:25
  any good details from this distance.
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  Oh, I forgot to get rid of the plane.
• 7:32
  Helicopter. Yeah, that's what I said.
• 7:36
  All right, I'm going to hang out in the back.
• 7:37
  I think that monologue gave me brain damage.
• 7:42
  Let's be real, you had brain damage before that.
• 7:44
  What are you guys doing? I'm going to unzip my pants to
• 7:47
  take a pee but then I forget I have no penis.
• 7:51
  What happened to your penis? He lost it.
• 7:55
  Oh wait I forgot once. You remember how you got struck
• 7:57
  by paroon spear and it gave hazy his new powers One it gave you
• 8:02
  your junk back Huzzah 2 when it because he stabbed you in the
• 8:05
  belly. He killed that 15 foot tapeworm
• 8:07
  that was in your stomach. My buddy.
• 8:10
  Yep, you can mourn them later. We got a job to do.
• 8:15
  And three. What?
• 8:20
  And and three, my, my, my Wiener he got.
• 8:22
  They got bigger, right? Yellow, absolutely.
• 8:27
  You're up to 4 inches. Yes, I'm going to tell my mom.
• 8:31
  Well, big hog, why don't you lead the way?
• 8:34
  Let's go boys, I'm feeling large and in charge.
• 8:40
  I push trees out of my way that fall over at the sight of me.
• 8:48
  Jeez dude, put that thing away. You're going to hurt somebody.
• 8:52
  Say some pussy for the rest of us man.
• 8:54
  You look down, you see footsteps and a log.
• 8:59
  You're just swinging your hips back and forth.
• 9:01
  You're like lookout boys all. Right.
• 9:06
  I see a cabin. You do see a cabin?
• 9:10
  Fantastic. All right, what are we doing,
• 9:13
  boys? Are we getting in there?
• 9:16
  Oh, no. Tactically?
• 9:17
  Or are we making a doorway? Because I can make a doorway.
• 9:20
  I could. Be I could be useful, I can be
• 9:22
  sneaky and run up, you know, ahead.
• 9:24
  OK, OK, OK, no, we'll play this smart this time.
• 9:27
  Is that fire? We're going to the cabin.
• 9:30
  Sure, I'm going to sneak ahead and go towards the cabin all.
• 9:34
  Right. Give me a sneak check.
• 9:35
  Head north towards the cabin. I have an explosive grenade on
• 9:38
  standby. Jesus.
• 9:41
  Oh yeah. Ha dirty 22.
• 9:47
  Oh, I got to pull up a character for you.
• 9:50
  I mean, I came here prepared. I don't.
• 9:55
  Know. Oh hell yeah.
• 9:57
  Amateurs. Oh.
• 9:59
  Hell yeah. Is this fire around us?
• 10:05
  Like what? What?
• 10:06
  What's going on? That was literally part of the
• 10:09
  introduction. Oh, they're, oh, yeah, they're
• 10:12
  torches leading up into the trail.
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  You, we can hear them. They go because of because of
• 10:19
  sprinkling. Throughout the night.
• 10:24
  Can I do an investigation check while while we wait?
• 10:28
  Yeah. What are you investigating?
• 10:30
  Anything and everything I can see with my eyes.
• 10:34
  So you so you want to do a nature check?
• 10:36
  Yeah, do a nature check. We are in the Alps.
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  I got 10. Yeah, man, looks like nature.
• 10:49
  All right, it's just nature here, guys.
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  We're clear. All right, we, we, we're just
• 10:54
  going to wait for Hazy to move in.
• 10:58
  All right, Hazy, what did you roll?
• 11:00
  22. Yeah, you make it up to the
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  right behind this tree, right next to the house.
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  Out of the house walks a small, wiry looking lady.
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  She looks like a bundle of wrinkles, wrapped in a faded
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  floral housecoat and muddy rubber boots.
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  Her hair is silver, white and braided tight, her hands stained
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  with tobacco and wood ash. Around her cabin, you see charms
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  hanging from trees and gutters, charms made of bones, rusted
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  keys, carved wooden eyes and bottles filled with rubber mud.
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  Looking at me. Now she's just looking at him to
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  the woods and then she looks, she looks S to you guys.
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  She comes out, but what's the door on the West side of her
• 11:47
  cabin? Oh, she looks.
• 11:48
  I heard that daggum Hilo. She yeah, she definitely did.
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  She looks over it. The rest of it she goes.
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  What y'all doing here? We we should kill her.
• 11:59
  What the fuck? Just.
• 12:00
  Just give me the word just. Give me the word snap her
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  fucking deck. What you.
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  What you live Shitland's doing out my my woods.
• 12:09
  All right, since Hazy's hiding, I'm going to walk up to her very
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  confidently now with a with a smirk on my cheek, like I'm
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  about to tell her what's what and give her what's what.
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  And I say. Give me a deception, Rolf.
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  What? No way dude, this is all
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  natural. OK, go on 19.
• 12:35
  All right, you walk up to this lady, you make it within 15 feet
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  of her. What are you telling her?
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  We're looking for the white thing.
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  What? But I'm brown, so this is not.
• 12:46
  At least she's going to know it might.
• 12:47
  OK. You a bit you a bit brown
• 12:49
  looking for a white thing, but I think I could find you some
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  white thing inside sugar. Notices bulge.
• 13:00
  Damn, why is it the whole thing about your penis right off the
• 13:07
  bat? I'm going to follow her inside.
• 13:10
  Oh, you woke up to? Her, she's like, my name is Miss
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  EULA May Hargraves. The kids kids used to call me
• 13:18
  Granny EULA. Them cunts used to call me the
• 13:21
  Holler Witch, but I ain't no witch.
• 13:22
  You heard it's just out here stitching.
• 13:24
  No witching, you know what I'm saying?
• 13:27
  The holler witch, huh? We'll see what all this
• 13:30
  hollering's about. Whoa. 5 minutes later.
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  Right. So you don't know anything?
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  About the white thing. I know a little bit about the
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  white thing. What you want to know about it
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  or? I look back at Pretty Kitty,
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  who's looking at nature. He's.
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  Just stared at the trees. And I turned back to her.
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  Yeah. Where should I go to find it?
• 14:02
  Because we might be a little lost.
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  She cocks a thumb to the east. She goes take that trail right
• 14:08
  up there. You probably find it's den
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  somewhere near the old abandoned logging town.
• 14:14
  Ain't nothing but fools and going on that way at this time
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  of night. Anyways, I just seen that pale
• 14:19
  thing years ago when the meal still screamed in these woods,
• 14:22
  tall as two men. Why does death it don't kill for
• 14:26
  hunger. It kills because the land won't
• 14:28
  let it rest. Though, you hear what I'm
• 14:29
  saying? I do hear what you're saying.
• 14:32
  You're making me hungry. If we come back, wait for me.
• 14:38
  I could probably rustle you up some cookies.
• 14:42
  You like Granny's cookies, boy. Let's move out.
• 14:46
  Go ahead. All right, I just walk up and I
• 14:51
  thank you. Thank you for the info ma'am.
• 14:53
  I I had start heading towards that trail she pointed us at.
• 14:58
  Yeah, I'll follow. I get to the entrance, so head
• 15:02
  northeast, Get to the entrance. Pretty kid.
• 15:04
  He's right behind me. He gets to the entrance.
• 15:06
  What are you 2 doing? Since you didn't see me, I want
• 15:09
  to back flip out of the tree. Give me an acrobatics check.
• 15:19
  Let's see. Oh fuck me, I'm not.
• 15:25
  You got to flip out and you just fall, hit the ground.
• 15:28
  She was. God Dang and bless your heart,
• 15:30
  child, you all right? Walk it off Put.
• 15:34
  Some fucking dirt in it. You'd be all right.
• 15:36
  Yeah, I'm used to it by now. I'm going to hobble my way
• 15:39
  towards y'all. What the fuck?
• 15:44
  All right, you make it to us, baby bird.
• 15:46
  What's up? I'm going to jog up behind you
• 15:49
  guys, red in the face like she gave me a condom.
• 15:53
  As you run you look back at her and she opens a robe and she
• 15:56
  shows you her unmentionables. Oh my God I love saggy tits.
• 16:03
  Because as we're running off, she you hear her scream.
• 16:06
  If it screams, don't scream back.
• 16:08
  That's how it finds you. Don't touch that fucking coffin.
• 16:12
  I'm warning you A. Coffin.
• 16:15
  It's not going to end well for you.
• 16:18
  That's what she said. Yeah, we're here for a coffin.
• 16:20
  I mean, she did say yeah, literally.
• 16:27
  So where do we go from here? It's The Cave.
• 16:29
  It's. Not a cave, it's a trail.
• 16:32
  Uh huh, it looks. Like I'm going to get down in
• 16:35
  Panther stance and run ahead. All stuff.
• 16:38
  All stuff like. Give me a stealth check.
• 16:43
  Awesome. Why are you like feral dude?
• 16:47
  What is going on? A dirty 20 that time.
• 16:51
  Dirty 20 very nice. So you take off running.
• 16:55
  How's he so fast? He's just gone.
• 16:58
  We lose sight of him. Fuck.
• 17:03
  He's like a wolf. Yeah, I think we should follow.
• 17:10
  All right, pretty Kitty. You want to follow him north of
• 17:12
  this trail. Yeah, I'm not going to do all
• 17:15
  that though. I'll just walk casually.
• 17:19
  I'm going to follow behind pretty Kitty, make sure he's OK.
• 17:22
  Baby bird I'm. Going to run behind but my giant
• 17:25
  Wiener keeps slapping my thighs slowing me down.
• 17:32
  Once you make it through the rocky trail there, we pop up on
• 17:34
  another trail. So wouldn't it just be the same
• 17:37
  trail, just another part of it? Now that, so that one was like a
• 17:41
  bunch of like, it was like mountains, like rocks.
• 17:43
  We came on this one and it's got slopes on either side.
• 17:47
  The trail drops steeply between cliffs of red clay.
• 17:50
  Vines cling to the rock walls. Water trickles down and threads.
• 17:53
  The air temperature drops 10°. Once we enter here, every breath
• 17:57
  comes out white. Through the fog, the wooden
• 18:01
  shapes emerge a a multitude of broken trees, hollowed out
• 18:06
  lightning flashes, and for one frozen heartbeat we see a full
• 18:13
  structure in the distance, behind a bunch of vines to the
• 18:15
  north. Neat.
• 18:17
  Well. Can I try to use my scope to see
• 18:21
  if I can make out what what that building is clearly?
• 18:25
  Yeah, go ahead and give me a roll with advantage +2 to it it.
• 18:32
  Doesn't even matter. Is it a one?
• 18:36
  No, I got a three. That definitely looks like a
• 18:40
  building all right. Hey guys, there's buildings.
• 18:44
  Over there. Oh.
• 18:46
  Can I be like investigating since I ran ahead all stuff
• 18:48
  like? Sure.
• 18:50
  And yes, pretty Kitty, we fucking know we're going to an
• 18:52
  abandoned mining town. There should be buildings.
• 18:56
  Hell yeah. I'm going to step to the.
• 18:58
  I'm going to Step 5 feet to the left of Pretty Kitty because I
• 19:02
  feel like he's going to walk into a trap.
• 19:04
  Fuck yeah, baby bird, you're up. Oh, Hazy, What'd you roll?
• 19:11
  20. You rolled a 24 investigation.
• 19:14
  Oh no, you didn't tell me. You got my bad.
• 19:17
  Let's see. 9. You're just up in this tree and
• 19:24
  you're just looking. You're like, it's really hard to
• 19:26
  see with all these branches in my fucking way.
• 19:32
  I'm going to stay quiet and just wait it out.
• 19:36
  OK, you see us enter the clearing.
• 19:39
  Here comes my favorite black fluid I've been practicing.
• 19:48
  You got a little embarrassed earlier, Go ahead and give me
• 19:50
  another athletics check. You got to focus, so give me a +
• 19:52
  2 on it all. Right, all right, so +2.
• 20:01
  A fucking 12. Yeah, you backflip and you land.
• 20:06
  You don't just land where the tree is, because that's a little
• 20:09
  embankment. It's a little higher up.
• 20:10
  You jump full 15 feet down to us and land perfectly.
• 20:15
  Nice, nice. We we just give you a little
• 20:17
  golf clap for. It.
• 20:19
  Yeah, I feel better about myself with the reassurement, so I'm
• 20:24
  going to fall in line behind y'all.
• 20:28
  I put on my thermal imaging goggles.
• 20:31
  OK. And I look down the path as I'm
• 20:34
  walking. OK.
• 20:37
  Where are you going? Dead ahead.
• 20:41
  All right, you keep going. You're making it through here.
• 20:44
  You make it about 5105020253030. You make about 50 feet down this
• 20:48
  trail, Pretty Kitty behind you. I'm behind him and Hayes comes
• 20:52
  up behind me, and as soon as you get here with your infrared
• 20:56
  goggles, you're looking around and there's something.
• 20:59
  That keeps moving in the. Trees, maybe one thing, maybe 2,
• 21:02
  maybe three things. It's hard to, it's hard to tell.
• 21:05
  It's moving so fast. What are you going to do with
• 21:07
  that information? I'm going to throw a flash bang
• 21:09
  out of the trees. Jesus 17.
• 21:16
  God damn. You send that flash bang, are
• 21:19
  you, are you showing? Are you throwing it to the West
• 21:21
  or the east of us? West.
• 21:24
  You throw it West. Because I look right always and
• 21:26
  then I look left and I that's like how I do it.
• 21:31
  OK, see. When I look at you, I always
• 21:33
  look right. You throw.
• 21:35
  It and it goes out bang and you just see like 6 different
• 21:38
  squirrels just collapse falling from trees.
• 21:43
  Good, I fucking hate squirrels. Anybody hungry?
• 21:47
  Yeah, sounds like a good dinner. OK so the rest of us need to
• 21:52
  take saving rules because you just threw that and didn't warn
• 21:55
  fucking anybody. You got to.
• 21:57
  You got to act fast. So everybody, everybody, go
• 21:59
  ahead and roll AD 20. Nat 20.
• 22:02
  Put your put your constitution on there.
• 22:04
  I got a Nat one. OK, Hazy.
• 22:11
  You get blinded a little bit. I get of full blast because when
• 22:16
  you threw it, I was looking right at it and I was like Josh
• 22:18
  Christ. And I just kind of like look
• 22:21
  around it a little bit, like I'm disoriented.
• 22:23
  And then I just fall flat on my face and I'm unconscious.
• 22:27
  Oh. Shit.
• 22:29
  Hazy. You were looking in that general
• 22:31
  direction, but not at it, and so you're blinded a little bit.
• 22:33
  So now it's really hard for you to see.
• 22:35
  You could only see 5 feet in front of you.
• 22:36
  Oh. Nice.
• 22:39
  Pretty Kitty totally not even paying attention.
• 22:40
  He was look directly to the east.
• 22:41
  He's fine. For a moment he thought the sun
• 22:46
  was coming up. What was that noise?
• 22:50
  Is that the sun? Why is everybody crying?
• 22:56
  Can you get up here? Lead the way.
• 22:58
  OK. Baby bird, you didn't take any
• 23:00
  damage from that because you were aware it was going to
• 23:02
  happen. You didn't fucking look at it.
• 23:04
  OK, cool. But I'm I'm unconscious and
• 23:07
  hazy, can't see any of you because you're too far away from
• 23:09
  him. Can I try to wake you up by
• 23:11
  pouring water on your head or something?
• 23:14
  That's one way to do it I guess. Give me a medical check I.
• 23:21
  Was just going to go Marco. Medicines 1, so 18.
• 23:25
  Polo. Oh, you pour water right to my
• 23:28
  mouth and I'm just like, I sit up and I stand up like I'm cat
• 23:32
  the planet. I'm like, I'm just like kind of
• 23:35
  rubbing my eyes. I'm like, why do my eyes fucking
• 23:36
  hurt? I don't know.
• 23:39
  The sun came up. It's morning.
• 23:41
  I don't. Know, yeah.
• 23:44
  It's awfully dark for it to be morning right now.
• 23:46
  Oh. Overcast.
• 23:47
  I don't. Let's keep moving, all right?
• 23:54
  I look at Hazy just kind of staring off and I just grab him
• 23:57
  by the hand because he can't see more than 5 feet right now.
• 24:01
  Thanks buddy. Anyways, what are you guys
• 24:05
  doing? We're we're moving ahead.
• 24:08
  I'm I'm holding hands right now and getting drunk.
• 24:10
  I I killed a bunch of squirrels. There's nothing to worry about.
• 24:14
  We're going to keep moving on. OK, head up another 30 feet.
• 24:21
  Pretty Kitty, You going behind him?
• 24:22
  Yeah, but I'm going to skip. Go ahead and skip then.
• 24:27
  I'm going to take Hazy by the hand.
• 24:28
  We're going to come up to here. We start hearing rustling around
• 24:31
  in the forest again. Which direction?
• 24:35
  All directions. Oh.
• 24:37
  Shit. What do I have?
• 24:39
  I only have explosives. I got 2 pistols.
• 24:43
  Yeah, it's nothing. You have 1 pistol AW.
• 24:50
  Do we have flashlights? Yeah, we have flashlights.
• 24:53
  I only have explosives in my pockets.
• 24:56
  You have a flat. Everyone has a flashlight on
• 24:58
  them. I take up my flashlight.
• 25:01
  Don't throw it. OK, OK, fine.
• 25:06
  I take up my flashlight. Thank you.
• 25:07
  Thank you. And I pointed ahead and like we
• 25:11
  need to circle up, put our flashlight downwards.
• 25:15
  OK, I point my flashlight to the West.
• 25:19
  Oh, it's like pitch black. I get it.
• 25:21
  Yeah, I'll, I'll flash my flashlight and start swinging it
• 25:24
  around on its little rope. No, no, no.
• 25:29
  Since I don't know where anybody's at, I'm just going to
• 25:31
  flash it in y'all's face standing right next to you.
• 25:35
  Everybody ah, damn it, Everyone, everyone.
• 25:39
  Give me a perception roll. All right, pretty Kitty hazy.
• 25:43
  You're both going to roll twice. You're going to take the lowest
• 25:45
  number. The lowest number.
• 25:47
  Yes, I got a three. That 20.
• 25:53
  I got a 5 so I accidentally flashed mine in Hazy's eyes.
• 25:57
  I got A7. Hazy accidentally flashes his
• 26:00
  and mine. I didn't know you were in front
• 26:02
  of me. Pretty Kitty, What'd you get A.
• 26:05
  Three he. Shoves his up his ass.
• 26:09
  Pretty Kitty pulls his flashlight out and tries to turn
• 26:11
  it on and forgets he didn't bring batteries.
• 26:16
  So Hazy and I just look blind ourselves and now we're just
• 26:19
  both standing there blind, holding hands.
• 26:22
  Joke's on you, I was already blind.
• 26:24
  Baby birds, You rolled a net 20. Yeah.
• 26:26
  Yes. Cool, you see nothing.
• 26:30
  Good job. OK, we're going to.
• 26:35
  We're going to pick up the pace a little bit because I'm kind of
• 26:38
  terrified. Hey, you want to run?
• 26:41
  We're running. Full on run?
• 26:44
  Hell yeah. We're sprinting.
• 26:47
  No flashlights. I have no.
• 26:48
  I have a flashlight. All right, everyone like what?
• 26:52
  What do they do in kindergarten where they everyone has to hold
• 26:55
  hands with each other as they like cross the road and stuff?
• 26:57
  Are we going to run like that? Yes.
• 27:01
  All right, Pretty Kitty's holding your hand.
• 27:02
  I'm holding Pretty Kitty's hand. And then Hazy's holding my hand
• 27:05
  and we're booking it forward. Everybody give me wait.
• 27:09
  Where? Where are we running?
• 27:12
  Straight ahead where we saw the building.
• 27:14
  This is adorable. That's still a ways off.
• 27:17
  There's a huge hedge. OK, everybody give me a luck
• 27:20
  roll. OK. 17. 4 adult men kidded out
• 27:25
  to the teeth, running, holding hands.
• 27:29
  In the dark with one, well, we have flashlights hazy.
• 27:32
  I just didn't point him in the right direction.
• 27:35
  Man, I just followed 2. I rolled on that one again.
• 27:39
  Oh. I rolled A3.
• 27:44
  As you guys are running Pretty Kitty, you accidentally run over
• 27:47
  Baby Bird and just 'cause you got scared, you kept running
• 27:52
  Baby Bird. You hit the deck.
• 27:53
  I tripped over my own feet, Hazy fell on top of me.
• 27:56
  We're all back here and Pretty Kitty just runs off into the
• 27:58
  night. Where'd everybody else go?
• 28:02
  Hello. You have no batteries for your
• 28:04
  flashlight. You're just off.
• 28:06
  You're gone now. Guys, it's dark out here.
• 28:13
  Phil I fucking push Hazy off me. I'm like get off me.
• 28:17
  You guys ever think we're living the life?
• 28:20
  Are you just laying there talking like this?
• 28:25
  But are you a fucking retired football player on the 50 yard
• 28:27
  line of his high school football field?
• 28:29
  You're just like couldn't get any better than his brother with
• 28:31
  a couple cold ones in the back of the truck.
• 28:35
  No, no. Ice.
• 28:40
  Oh, I was going to say in in real life, I would this, this
• 28:43
  moment would have made me scream out.
• 28:45
  So scream out. Can I shoot in the direction of
• 28:50
  the screaming hold? Hold on baby bird screams out
• 28:57
  and then north of us you hear like this baby kind of scream
• 29:04
  back at us. It sounds like a cross between a
• 29:07
  crying baby and a woman. What the fucks?
• 29:12
  I'm trying to pull up the audio for it because I didn't grab it
• 29:14
  I forgot to download it. Hold on.
• 29:17
  I came prepared. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
• 29:26
  Just in the darkness by yourself.
• 29:28
  Yeah, meowing pretty much. Standing against a tree, viewing
• 29:35
  the darkness. Fuck that.
• 29:41
  Yeah, I'm out. I'm out.
• 29:44
  I don't. I don't get paid enough for
• 29:46
  this. Mission cancelled.
• 29:48
  I would like to leave. Please, we've already been paid.
• 29:51
  We cannot go anywhere. The fuck that.
• 29:56
  It's the sound of a baby. What's so scary about that?
• 29:58
  That's. Not a normal baby.
• 30:00
  That's yeah, that's not a normal baby at all.
• 30:02
  What's wrong with your? What's wrong with your baby lady
• 30:07
  pretty Kitty? You still want to fire off in
• 30:09
  the direction of said yelps. Well, baby birds startled me, so
• 30:15
  I guess yeah, I'll, I'll fire off in the direction of the
• 30:18
  others crying now because I'm alerted to that.
• 30:22
  Give me AD 12 roll. D12.
• 30:26
  Then give me AD 20 roll. 11 was for the D12 nice and 15 for the
• 30:33
  20 OK. You put your rifle up, you're
• 30:37
  really bad at directions, your ADHD makes you think it is north
• 30:43
  slightly wished this. You fire off around and you hear
• 30:48
  a little rustling and that's it. Hey guys, I think I hit
• 30:54
  something. We have no idea where you are,
• 30:58
  pretty Kitty. I heard him but I don't know
• 31:02
  where from. You got a flashlight.
• 31:05
  You do have a flashlight. I also have thermal imaging
• 31:08
  goggles. Oh yeah, you do.
• 31:11
  Yeah, I forgot about that. So I look around in every
• 31:15
  direction frantically. Yeah, give me a perception roll,
• 31:18
  See if you can see them. 7. Pretty perceptive.
• 31:24
  Using your UV goggles, you look around every direction
• 31:26
  frantically and you see multiple bodies everywhere.
• 31:32
  I stand up and I take off my thermal imaging goggles and I
• 31:35
  look down at where I think you 2 are.
• 31:39
  We got to go. We're, we're on the ground
• 31:43
  behind you. We have flashlights in our hands
• 31:44
  and we're just like, OK, and I get up.
• 31:47
  I'm going to run like already like bye.
• 31:50
  We're going to run N all right. We're going to try running
• 31:51
  again, try run N again. Everyone give me another luck
• 31:54
  check as we run. 12. You can give me, you can give me
• 31:58
  luck, or you can give me athletics.
• 32:00
  Oh, OK, hold on. Both of them are fucked for me a
• 32:03
  three. OK, so with athletics, that's a
• 32:07
  15. That's not bad.
• 32:09
  I got a 12. Oh wait no, I got A5 with
• 32:11
  athletics. OK, luckily both Baby Bird and I
• 32:18
  are holding onto your hand, Hazy, and we're just booking it
• 32:20
  through here. Pretty Kitty, what'd you roll?
• 32:22
  I didn't roll anything. So fucking do that then.
• 32:27
  I was just standing there, man. I didn't.
• 32:28
  I didn't expect we were going to start running 7.
• 32:32
  You're not running. You roll, you run a 7.
• 32:35
  Yeah. All right, So while Pretty Kitty
• 32:38
  and I are running, holding on to Hazy's hand, we actually split
• 32:41
  you, Pretty Kitty, and we don't see you.
• 32:43
  And as we're dragging Hazy, we slam Hazy into you, just
• 32:48
  crashing both you onto the ground, and you both take one
• 32:51
  point of damage from each other. Hell yeah, whack.
• 32:56
  I feel. Useful, but you that your tooth
• 33:00
  is in my face. Oh God that hurt.
• 33:03
  Quit fucking. Around and get up.
• 33:05
  We got to go. Fuck.
• 33:06
  OK baby, your bird's freaking out about something.
• 33:10
  I don't know what it is, but we got to go.
• 33:12
  The bodies. Hold up, what bodies?
• 33:17
  How many bodies have you had? There's there's bodies
• 33:19
  everywhere. Keep running.
• 33:22
  OK. I don't like that.
• 33:28
  I'm going to the end. I'll run with you guys.
• 33:31
  So are we trying to run N again? Yes.
• 33:36
  Before we start running N we here.
• 33:43
  From what direction? I guess I didn't kill it.
• 33:46
  All directions. Run.
• 33:49
  OK, all right, everybody, every roll again athletics or Look,
• 33:55
  fuck. I got a 8.
• 33:57
  Come on, come on, come on, go on.
• 33:58
  Dirty 20. 15 wait, plus you said plus that's flooding 18.
• 34:05
  OK, yeah, Hazy, you trample. You trample over Pretty Kitty
• 34:08
  and I and you head north and Baby Bird you also take off and
• 34:12
  you guys stop mere feet before you run into these huge bushes
• 34:18
  of thorns. There you go.
• 34:20
  And I grab pretty Kitty and I drag him over to me and we're
• 34:23
  hiding behind this tree and I have my hand over his mouth and
• 34:25
  I'm like, and our both are my lights off.
• 34:30
  His doesn't even have batteries. But in the darkness you can
• 34:33
  slowly see something walk by us with glowing red eyes and it's
• 34:38
  just kind of lumbering. You can't really make out any
• 34:40
  features. You can just see the glowing
• 34:42
  eyes and it seems really slow and all of a sudden it's gone.
• 34:47
  Whoa. Middle.
• 34:52
  That was weird. My hand's still over your mouth.
• 35:02
  Can I investigate them there? Thorny bushes.
• 35:05
  Yeah, I'm going to investigate them there.
• 35:06
  Thorny bushes. And I.
• 35:08
  Give me a nature roll. Nature.
• 35:11
  Roll or Yeah, Give me a nature roll first.
• 35:15
  Nature's three. Yeah, You reach out and you
• 35:18
  touch it and it pricks you. Oh shit.
• 35:21
  Good job. I'm just going to walk slowly
• 35:24
  north and I'm going to drag pretty Kitty with me.
• 35:27
  OK, We don't run into anything as we head up and we meet.
• 35:32
  We meet up with you guys. I pull out extra batteries and I
• 35:36
  I stick them in a pretty Kitty slash line and hand it back to
• 35:38
  him. Oh.
• 35:39
  Yeah, thanks. Yep, that's you're.
• 35:41
  You're the reason why I bring spares.
• 35:44
  Those thorns are sharp, just a heads up.
• 35:47
  Noted. Thank you.
• 35:50
  What if we just set it on fire? Yeah, let's set it on fire.
• 35:55
  I didn't bring my lighter, I'm sorry I forgot.
• 35:58
  Am I the only smoker here? I mean, I can also turn my hands
• 36:05
  in the fire, but sure. Yeah, let's fight it with your
• 36:07
  lighter. I'm going to be smart about it
• 36:11
  and light, you know, a branch on fire and throw it towards the
• 36:15
  Bush. That's pretty smart.
• 36:17
  Give me an athletics throw, I'll let you light it just fine. 16.
• 36:25
  Yeah, you throw it and it just burns down just a small little
• 36:32
  pathway right here for us to head into run.
• 36:36
  What the shit? Who here wants to run?
• 36:43
  I will run. We got to get out of here.
• 36:48
  I mean, I guess I'm running. I rolled a 15.
• 36:55
  I rolled a gnat 1. I got an 11.
• 37:01
  Right before you go to run in baby bird bam, bear trap right
• 37:05
  on your leg and you take well, it's a one point of damage.
• 37:12
  You're used to this. You remember Halloween is pretty
• 37:14
  brutal. Oh, OK, so I go ow.
• 37:19
  All right, You can use whichever scream you want, Sure.
• 37:25
  Easy. What are you doing?
• 37:26
  I'm going to crouching tiger hidden dragon jump over him like
• 37:30
  and bounce off his head. You're not even what?
• 37:33
  Go north. He's he's east of you.
• 37:38
  Now I want to bath up a little bit because I want to look cool.
• 37:41
  Back up, give me an athletic check.
• 37:43
  Jump over him. Oh what a Nat 20.
• 37:48
  Let's go. You actually do a a back
• 37:54
  handspring to a back flip and you land on the release lever of
• 37:58
  the the bear trap and it opens up and baby bird is free.
• 38:03
  My leg. That's fucking impressive.
• 38:05
  Hell yeah, I meant to do that. How did you know I was there?
• 38:09
  You know, just intuition. Stepped on a lot of bear traps.
• 38:13
  Experience. All right, I'm going to slowly
• 38:16
  walk around the bear trap and I'm going to go in.
• 38:18
  I'm going to be right behind. I'm going to walk up next to pre
• 38:20
  Kitty. Didn't mean to grab that, Sir.
• 38:23
  These vines are moving. Run.
• 38:25
  They're alive. Just wait.
• 38:30
  Oh. Huh.
• 38:32
  I don't like that. All right.
• 38:35
  What are you guys doing? Are we all inside or are we
• 38:40
  going inside? Look at the map.
• 38:42
  Are you inside? I want to go inside.
• 38:47
  All right, go inside. You're going to come up to the
• 38:49
  right. A pretty Kitty.
• 38:51
  All right, I'm going to come in there crawling behind you guys
• 38:54
  on the ground, dragging my legs. You're not even that hurt.
• 38:58
  Shut up. I need somebody to carry me.
• 39:01
  OK, can I wrap this leg up because it's obviously hurt.
• 39:07
  Sure, do a medicine check for him.
• 39:09
  Nat 20 plus medicine and so 21. I feel better than ever.
• 39:19
  Yeah, Baby Bird is back to full health.
• 39:22
  I've never felt this good in my life.
• 39:25
  You're welcome. Not only that, he's actually
• 39:28
  pretty hard. He actually got a lip on him.
• 39:32
  He he got, he got that Ed fixed. Look down.
• 39:35
  I look, I look down and and you're like, oh, I, I can't even
• 39:39
  tell. Huh?
• 39:42
  As we enter through the brush, we come upon the abandoned
• 39:46
  logging town. Just a bunch of abandoned
• 39:50
  buildings, right? Lightning flashes.
• 39:53
  For one frozen heartbeat. We can see all the structures.
• 39:57
  There's one in the back of a massive 2 story logging lodge,
• 40:00
  half sunken in the mud and its porch collapsed.
• 40:03
  Something about these houses feels off, like they're not all
• 40:09
  abandoned. Huh.
• 40:12
  What you guys are looking? I have the fog thing on.
• 40:15
  So you can't see what's inside of each of these houses, but
• 40:18
  there is insides to all these houses.
• 40:21
  You just got to figure out how to get inside.
• 40:23
  All right, I'm going to perception check no reception to
• 40:30
  see if someone's inside the South right in front of us.
• 40:34
  Do you want to go in this house? Are you just going to hope for
• 40:37
  the best from the outside? I guess I'll just knock on the
• 40:40
  door. Yeah, go for it.
• 40:44
  The door is on the other side of this house.
• 40:47
  All right, let's walk around. It seems kind of safe.
• 40:51
  I haven't heard any crazy baby cries.
• 40:54
  All right, lead the way. You head north on the West side
• 40:58
  of the building. You're up there.
• 41:00
  Pretty Kitty next to you. Hazy's right behind, right next
• 41:03
  to your other side, and I'm going to be behind you.
• 41:07
  OK, I knock on the door and I go.
• 41:11
  We're here from the government to provide assistance for the
• 41:14
  taxes y'all have been paying. Fuck, you hear a shotgun
• 41:19
  somewhere in the distance. In the distance, get inside,
• 41:25
  pour inside. OK.
• 41:27
  Kick that door in. Break corners.
• 41:30
  Go, go, go. 17. You kick that door in easy, kick
• 41:36
  that fucker off the hinges, and everyone runs inside you rolling
• 41:39
  in. Hazy's right behind you, Pretty
• 41:41
  Kitty comes in and then I'm inside.
• 41:43
  I kinda try to close this door, you kick off the hinges up
• 41:47
  against it. I'm just keeping watch outside.
• 41:51
  What do you see? Nothing dark.
• 41:55
  I think he's, I think he's talking to me.
• 41:56
  Unless you're looking out that window that you're right next to
• 41:59
  Hazy. You're by a window, too.
• 42:00
  So is Baby Bird. Everyone's by a window or a door
• 42:02
  in here, huh? Baby birds by the South door.
• 42:06
  Pretty Kitty's next to the West window, and Hazy's next to the
• 42:10
  east window. Sorry Baby Bird S window, not
• 42:13
  door. OK.
• 42:15
  So obviously these people know they're not paying taxes.
• 42:20
  Yeah, it's true. What fucking people.
• 42:22
  This is an abandoned mining town.
• 42:25
  We could play some Yahtzee. I heard a shotgun.
• 42:29
  In the distance, this is Appalachia and Alabama.
• 42:35
  Is it? Yeah.
• 42:37
  Holy fuck pretty Kitty, do not read the mission notes.
• 42:39
  And by read I mean not listen to me at the beginning of these
• 42:42
  fucking buckets. Yeah, yeah.
• 42:47
  I didn't read the mission though, sorry.
• 42:54
  We need I brought in board games.
• 42:56
  We could play some Yahtzee if you guys.
• 42:58
  What we need to do is look outside very sneakily to see if
• 43:04
  anybody's out there after causing all this ruckus.
• 43:07
  Well, Hazy's the sneakiest. And just to clarify, you all
• 43:11
  know we're here to get a coffin, right?
• 43:16
  Definitely. We've been hired to pick up this
• 43:18
  coffin and take it back home to the family this guy left.
• 43:23
  Oh that sounds legit. Somebody has shot a shotgun
• 43:26
  outside. In the distance, hazy.
• 43:29
  Do you want to take a fucking sneaky look outside?
• 43:32
  No, I just watched the movie Nosferatu.
• 43:34
  I don't want to fucking live it. I haven't watched it, is it
• 43:38
  good? That's actually really good.
• 43:40
  The new one, newer 1. I'll check it out.
• 43:42
  Oh. With Willem Dafoe in it, but
• 43:46
  either way I guess I'm. He's in it.
• 43:48
  Yeah, he's in it. Willem Dafoe is such a good
• 43:50
  actor. I'm going to watch it now.
• 43:52
  Talk about Nosferatu, or are you talking about the new Dracula
• 43:55
  movie? That's not Nosferatu.
• 43:57
  No the Nosferatu. That's a new Dracula movie
• 44:01
  anyways. Yeah.
• 44:02
  There is. We're not hunting Dracula this
• 44:04
  time. What are we doing?
• 44:06
  Oh, I put down my wooden stake. Breaking and entering,
• 44:11
  hopefully. We're already in the fucking
• 44:16
  house shed, Shaq, whatever the fuck this thing is.
• 44:21
  Can I roll to see if I can see this anything to the the West
• 44:26
  over here? Absolutely.
• 44:30
  I got a six. Yeah, you look out the windows
• 44:34
  and it's just super fucking dirty and you're like, God,
• 44:37
  there's a lot of dirt outside. And it's dark.
• 44:44
  And it's dark. Yeah.
• 44:47
  All right, I'll. I'll do an investigation out the
• 44:48
  front door. Jesus, give me a second.
• 44:54
  Actually when I shoved the door back in there I kind of got it
• 44:56
  stuck and I can't really see outside it now.
• 44:58
  I got a 8. That's fine.
• 45:01
  I put on my thermal imaging goggles and I look out my
• 45:04
  window. While y'all are doing all this I
• 45:07
  say fuck this I'm just going to jump out of my window and go try
• 45:11
  to hide in the shadows. OK, give me an athletics check
• 45:15
  and then give me a sneak check. Heyward, go ahead and give me
• 45:20
  your perception roll. Fuck.
• 45:24
  Athletic is 15. Yeah, you just crashed through
• 45:28
  it. You must.
• 45:30
  Sneak. 19. Damn and.
• 45:35
  You're off in the dark, poof. Invisible.
• 45:38
  It's gone. All right, the racket from him
• 45:41
  fucking breaking through the window just fucked my focus up
• 45:47
  because I rolled A4. Yeah, as you're looking outside,
• 45:50
  you see the path we walked in to get here.
• 45:54
  Nothing out of the ordinary back here.
• 45:57
  But not quite. It seems so familiar.
• 46:03
  Before you go to turn away, you see the vines grow back into
• 46:07
  place and our exit is now gone. We got to go, you keep saying.
• 46:14
  That, but you're not telling us anything.
• 46:16
  You just keep saying run bodies. We got to go the.
• 46:20
  Door's blocked, we got. I can't go through that window.
• 46:23
  We're getting we're getting chased around by a screaming
• 46:26
  baby. Our friend just disappeared into
• 46:29
  the night. He's not Batman.
• 46:30
  We got dropped off by a sex to a sexy grandma's house and we
• 46:34
  didn't stay for whatever reason. That's a grandma, dude.
• 46:38
  She'd probably break her hip. There's nothing wrong with Gilfs
• 46:42
  one the. Vines just grew back.
• 46:45
  I've technically fucked a grandma.
• 46:46
  I can't say she. First off, I'm like the vines
• 46:52
  grew back. That's interesting. 2 pretty
• 46:55
  Kitty. The doors locked and then I
• 46:56
  point towards the window Hazy just jumped out of.
• 46:59
  That. That's our exit now.
• 47:01
  We got to go. Back to the vines.
• 47:04
  Where are we going, baby bird? What the shit?
• 47:07
  There's nothing in here, so we're going to go to the next
• 47:10
  house. What do you mean you didn't?
• 47:12
  Even look around in here, you just we all came in here and
• 47:14
  started looking out windows. Oh, that's a.
• 47:18
  That's a good point. That's a very good point.
• 47:21
  I'm going to look around. Can I, can I go off on my own to
• 47:25
  like this house on the West? Absolutely, absolutely jump
• 47:29
  through that fucking window as well, pretty Kitty.
• 47:31
  Give me an athletics check. I got a 13.
• 47:36
  You smashed through it super easy.
• 47:39
  Hell yeah. Baby, where?
• 47:41
  What were you doing again? Oh oh, I rolled A-15 for
• 47:45
  investigation. As you're investigating stuff,
• 47:48
  you find a thing of papers that talks about the white thing's
• 47:52
  den. Sorry, it was a it's a scribble
• 47:55
  note about somebody terrorized talking about there's a white
• 47:57
  thing. It's in the main.
• 47:59
  It's in the main lodge. Yeah, it is.
• 48:01
  We can't escape. Everyone keeps disappearing and
• 48:04
  then it just like scribbles, like something got it while it
• 48:07
  was writing. My hands are shaking and I pull
• 48:11
  up my thermal imaging goggles off my face and I look at you
• 48:14
  and I say I know where we have to go.
• 48:20
  Do you now? I slowly nod confidently.
• 48:25
  To the next house. I was going to say that to the
• 48:29
  next house. As you, you say that to me, you
• 48:34
  say that to me and you're staring at me.
• 48:37
  And then through the cracks of the door, because the door is
• 48:39
  not quite right, you see a huge figure just blocking up the
• 48:42
  doorway and you hear. I start fucking shooting.
• 48:53
  Dude, you're standing right next to the door.
• 48:55
  I pull out my gun. Oh my God, fire.
• 48:58
  Hold on, give me I'm going to dodge.
• 49:01
  I rolled the two. Fuck, give me damage.
• 49:08
  Oh, no, wait, what is my damage from my pistol?
• 49:12
  Oh, no, yeah, that's right. I don't have a pistol.
• 49:15
  I have a shotgun. Yes, thank you for shooting me
• 49:19
  with a shotgun. Luckily for you, that's a 2.
• 49:26
  It just blasts me right in the right in the foot.
• 49:32
  Ah fuck. What are you doing?
• 49:36
  I caught my I caught my shotgun and I shoot again.
• 49:40
  Oh, I'm out. I dive through the window, Hazy
• 49:48
  jumped out of. I'm outside.
• 49:51
  Oh my God I rolled A1. God damn.
• 49:56
  You fire and it hits the wooden doors and before anything
• 50:02
  happens, that door just gets kicked in and just falls and
• 50:06
  hits the ground. And that's where we're going to
• 50:08
  end today's episode. Excitement.
• 50:12
  All alone in the house, everyone else get battled for whatever
• 50:16
  reasons. I am the night.
• 50:20
  Yeah, and next time we'll see baby, we're confront or be
• 50:24
  confronted by this mysterious figure.
• 50:29
  It's not Halloween. Thanks bitch, you can say oh any
• 50:32
  time of the year. It's a scurry.
• 50:36
  Anyways, thanks for coming back for season 2 everybody, say
• 50:38
  goodbye. Bye.
• 50:47
  Transmission lost. Team status unknown.