Latest / Alive & Kicking: Stories of Waking Up with Kay Eck / Valerie Irons -- Cancer, Choices & Knowing

Transcript

Valerie Irons -- Cancer, Choices & Knowing · Alive & Kicking: Stories of Waking Up with Kay Eck

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Every time I was going to the regular allopathic doctors or testing or anything like that, the sky would cloud over, it would get dark, it would get stormy, it would get windy.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: And after a while, uh, it was one time, maybe the third or fourth time I'd seen the regular oncologist.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: I it was a sunny, beautiful day, clouded over.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_02: I went into her appointment, I came out, the clouds moved, and it was a beautiful sunny day again.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, I am dipping into a different reality here.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: This is not my reality.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: It's there's different choices here, there's different timelines, and I'm slipping into this one where I don't want to be.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's great.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Good to have you.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: So um I'm calling you a special guest because you are the first alive and kicking guest that we are now having returned to the podcast.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a very special reason for that.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: So when we met, your journey was all about finding love in your 50s and about your beautiful and exotic childhood and the points in between.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: But after we had that conversation, I think possibly a couple of years later, you began a journey of a different sort.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why we're here today to talk about that journey.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: So tell us a little bit about where you were at in your life prior to receiving your breast cancer diagnosis.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_02: Certainly.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_02: I had just uh been married uh to the one I've been waiting for my whole life for about uh two years and maybe two and a half, two and a quarter years, and um very, very happy, things were going great, my work was great, my uh love life was great, everything was wonderful.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_02: Cloud nine, and um it was about March of 2022, um when I uh cloud nine after after COVID.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_02: So a different kind of cloud nine than we had before COVID.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Right, it was like more like club six and a half.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_02: So it was uh March of 2022 when I noticed that uh the nipple in my right breast had inverted.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_02: And um, so I was going to the doctor for something else.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_02: And uh while I was there, I said, Oh, you know, take a look at this.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_02: What do you think this is all about?
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_02: And she um touched my breast and said, she said, you need to go get a mammogram.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_02: And she said, I feel something.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_02: And uh, so when I got home and you know, I'm feeling my breast, and I thought, wow, I feel something.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_02: How how did I not feel this before?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: How did how did you?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: I asked Daniel, how did you not feel this?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_02: Did you feel something?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: How did we miss this?
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: And so that started me on a whole thing.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_02: I went and got a mammogram, and uh uh they gave me both a mammogram and an ultrasound, and there they said, you need to go get a biopsy.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_02: So that's immediately the whole thing.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I mean, what were you feeling in that moment?
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: What was um shock.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_02: Uh yeah, shock.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: Uh from the moment uh the woman, the doctor had said, I feel something, you need to go get a biopsy or a mammogram, the first one.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I I was kind of kind of like laughing, like, okay, God, is this your way to make me eat right?
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_02: Is this how you're gonna do it to finally really get me eating really, really healthy more than I am now?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_02: Is this what you're gonna do?
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_02: And so it built from there, and I was in the um ultrasound and mammogram of the second place, and they said, Well, you need a biopsy.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_02: And so when I left there, um, that's when I started my voice started shaking.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_02: And it was a state of shock, and I called, um, tried to call my husband and he wasn't there, and then I I called my friend and I said, I I might uh be going down this road.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: And uh I had my first tears.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: So what happened then?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_02: I I went down to uh a location in Phoenix to get the biopsy, and um they they weren't telling me very much.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_02: It's really interesting.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_02: What happens is that you immediately get sent down a conveyor belt of allopathic uh allopathic doctors and medicines and and and whatnot.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I got the biopsy and the doctor who told me to get the uh initial mammogram, uh she was the one who gave me the diagnosis.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_02: Invasive lobular carcinoma is what I got.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: So it's not the most common kind of breast cancer.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, they call it a tricky breast cancer, it's not shaped like an oval, it's more shaped like an octopus.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_02: And so uh it goes out and around and all these uh tricky things.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I was in shock.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: I was in shock after about the first month.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: I realized, oh wow, I've been in shock this whole month.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_02: And then after the second month, I thought, oh wow, I've been in shock still another month, and that continued on for about six months, even when I thought it was over with my shock.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it kept progressing.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like, oh wow, I thought I was done with that, and I'm actually just now getting over it.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, yeah.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_02: I mean about six months, it was crazy.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, I can imagine.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and I think up until that point, as you said or alluded to, you were living a very holistic lifestyle.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're a sound healer, yeah, healing others.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so that that must that must have contributed to and also you were in such a happy place.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: I was in such a great place, and yeah, I yeah, I have a wellness place and do sound healing and breath work and um all of that.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so it was it was very surprising to me.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't think ever in my life that that would happen to me.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and um I remember uh it took a while to go to the naturopathic oncologist.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_02: I was choosing that road.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um, actually, I want to back up a little bit because what happens is after you are are given the diagnosis, they send you immediately to a surgeon.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I that's where I really felt like I was on the conveyor belt after all the testing and testing and the biopsy and whatnot.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: They send you to a surgeon right away.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_02: And to me, now that I've gone through that, I feel like they skipped a really, really important part.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: And that is somebody who could sit down with you and give you your options and all the options.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: You've got the surgery, you've got the chemotherapy, you've got uh the radiation, but you've also got all of these other things that can work in tandem with it.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_02: And instead, they put you in front of a surgeon who immediately wants to schedule the surgery, or else tell you to do chemotherapy, or else tell you to do radiation, and it's so fast.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so I said, No, no, no, no, no, no.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_02: I don't she she actually said to me, Um, do you want uh a lumpectomy or a mastectomy?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: That's what she said.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_02: Do which one do you want in the first meeting?
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I said, I don't want either.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: I want to try to heal this naturally, and she said, Well, don't take too long.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_02: And so she uh I did some more testing, uh uh testing genetic testing and all this other stuff.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I got assigned a regular oncologist, and I also had found a naturopathic oncologist that I intended to go to, but I was also going regularly to the regular oncologist oncologist, and I found her to be very harsh and very unaccepting of the road that I wanted to take.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_02: And um it it was really interesting.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_02: Can I get a little woo-woo here?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, please.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: We love that here.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_02: So every time I was going to the regular allopathic doctors or testing or anything like that, the sky would cloud over, it would get dark, it would get stormy, it would get windy.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_02: And after a while, uh it was one time, maybe the third or fourth time I'd seen the regular oncologist.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_02: I it was a sunny, beautiful day, clouded over.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_02: I went into her appointment, I came out, the clouds moved, and it was a beautiful sunny day again.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, I am dipping into a different reality here.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_02: This is not my reality.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_02: It's there's different choices here, there's different timelines, and I'm slipping into this one where I don't want to be.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_02: And so I ended up uh kind of walking away from that oncologist and um finding a different one, finding one that was more aligned with my values.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_02: So I I firmly believe that um getting some sort of diagnosis uh is the body telling you uh that there's something going on.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_02: There's something maybe emotionally, there's something um physically, of course, but then it it the emotions come down into the physical and that there's something that needs attention.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_02: And yes, there are uh many, many times when the allopathic route is the way, um, but there are also ways to work with that or instead of that, and I believe in the body's ability to heal itself completely.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: And belief must be so important in all of that, but you know, this um, you know, I I we're not here to like choose things for other people.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like I think our whole point, our whole point in getting together is to broaden the horizon of what's possible and what's available, and more importantly, to choose a path that's right, that's right for you based on what your body is telling you.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: But that that moment between diagnosis and you know treatment, it's the window in allopathic, it sounds like it is so small and so quick that you're you don't you're not even really given a chance to process what's what's going on.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_02: That is absolutely correct, yeah.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: But but also I I feel like it must take so much courage to say, hang on, I'm gonna check this out with myself.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because, you know, like you said, it's it's shocking and it can be scary, and you're sort of led to believe like it's urgency.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: There's urgency.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, right?
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm sure that there are times where there is urgency.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: I I felt strongly that I had time.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's interesting that your first response to the diagnosis was like, oh, I see what I see what you're doing here.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: Not like any kind of doom or you know, fear or uh any of the other very valid things that you might be feeling.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you have your you had this inkling from the beginning that it was going to be, you know, a life a lifestyle change, perhaps.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_02: I um I did.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_02: I went through worry.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: This is such a roller coaster of emotions.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_02: I went through a lot of worry.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_02: I went through some fear, um, but mostly it was worry uh that was happening.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: And what's what's the difference there?
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: How are you making that?
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I don't think worry goes as deep as fear does.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_02: I think um worry tends to be more mental for me.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: And maybe fear um goes deeper.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_02: I I don't there is a difference, and I I hope I'm conveying what that is.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_02: I don't feel afraid to pass.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_02: I don't I'm not afraid to die.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I believe that our souls go on and that uh there's a whole another lifetime over there.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: I worried that um my great life would be taken way earlier than I wanted it to be.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: Does that make sense?
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: But and I wasn't going to get to do all the things I want to do.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_02: So it wasn't really a fear, it was like, oh man, you know, and and worried about money.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_02: It's so expensive to have a diagnosis and go through a diagnosis, it's just crazy expensive.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I I remember going to the naturopathic oncologist for the first time and um he asked me, Why do you think you got this?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought that was a really great question.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_02: And I knew immediately I went through decades of hopelessness uh back in the early 90s, um, where I didn't think I was going to find love and I thought I was gonna be alone and I cried every day and I was really at my wit's end of hopelessness.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_02: And it turns out hopelessness is a huge cause of getting an illness.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um and uh I answered a lot of questions when uh during the diagnosis, I did a lot of uh answering of questions, uh, emotional health questions, and a lot of it went back to that time when I was feeling hopeless.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like uh once I got together with Daniel that I felt safe and that this could come out and that I could address that hopelessness that had solidified in my body.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: How did you find the ability and determination to do that kind of a deep dive when you're facing a health, a physical uh I mean crisis of sorts?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I took off work for uh I think a year, maybe I did a session here or there.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um but because I'm I'm in the industry of of healing, I dove into every kind of healing that I could find that that felt innovative to me, that felt deep.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_02: So emotional healing was very, very important to me.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I did a lot of journaling and um different frequency healing, lots of different frequency uh machines and and things that they have out there nowadays.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I did a lot of energy work.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I definitely cleansed my body, the physical thing of uh detoxing and cleansing and uh going after the parasites.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_02: That was super, super important.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_02: I did a uh 21-day water fast.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um I was gone for a whole month, but 21 days was water fasting, it was supervised.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_02: That was very potent.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about that for a minute because I still tell people about that.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I know this person who did a 21-day water fast.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: So that's as a person who's who's had trouble even doing a three-day fast.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Tell us a little bit about how you decided that that was right for you and what that involved, really, because it sounds sounds like a lot.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_02: It is a lot.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it I had a friend who was going through breast cancer at the same time.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_02: And uh, she told me about this place that she was going to go to.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_02: And when she told me about it, I just couldn't stop thinking about it.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_02: And so I looked into it myself and I decided to go.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_02: And um they say you want to do a minimum of 21 days, and I thought that that might be all I could do.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_02: And um, I have known people who've done 40-day water fasts and they have cleared their tumors, the tumors vanished completely.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I did 21 days and seven days of refeeding.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_02: So uh we were at a center, it was in Costa Rica.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if it's still there, and every day we would get our blood pressure taken, we would get weighed, and um we worked our way up.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_02: I think I worked my way up from six glasses of water the first day to 16 glasses of water a day at the end.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_02: And we got very weak, we weren't really supposed to be using our eyes uh for reading.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_02: They just wanted us to lounge around, not walk, not converse with the other people, just kind of chill.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_02: And so it was wonderful, uh, really restful and um all also challenging.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_02: Day 16 for me was oh, pieces that was really hard.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_02: Day 16 was so hard.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and then the refeeding was glorious.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_02: I I had a glass of coconut water, uh, fresh from a coconut, and it tasted like mana from heaven.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_02: It was the most beautiful thing.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_02: I cried actually, it was so amazing.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so that was really interesting.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_02: And then from that point on, I was I became vegan for two and a half years, and so changed my eating completely.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_02: And um, it was good, but it was tough.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_02: I would love to do it again.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_02: I've tried to do watered fasts since then, and I can't get past two days here at my house.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_02: Why?
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_02: With a temptation of the refrigerator, what's in the fridge?
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_02: I can do juice cleanses.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_02: So, what I'm doing now lately is I'll do a three-day juice cleanse and then a two-day water fast and then a one-day juice cleanse and do colonics with that.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_02: So um that's what I've I've been doing lately, and it works really well for me.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_02: But I would love to do another week or two-week water fast, but I have to go somewhere to do that.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I I get that.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: Somewhere where it's enforced and there's no food.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: So how did you blend the allopathic and the homeopathic, or what's the opposite of allopathic?
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: Homeopathic or naturopathic?
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_02: Naturopathic, uh, holistic.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um I I found my naturopathic oncologist and um uh he was great.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_02: And he started to uh prescribe me some um vitamins and supplements to start taking.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I also went to a center that was located in Sedona where they do uh their Gershon therapy, which is a type of food and colonics and all sorts of things like that while uh while you stay there.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um that one seemed a little too harsh for me.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_02: And so I didn't want to do the Gershon method, but they have a a place where you can get IVs and hyperbaric chamber and all sorts of things.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_02: And I had heard about um something um called mistletoe therapy, and so they Uh I was taught how to inject mistletoe um into right around the tumor.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_02: And so the mistletoe acts as an invasion invader.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_02: And so the white blood cells come and pump up and do stuff.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_02: So that ended up not helping me.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_02: I what I did was I would try something uh for four months, six months.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_02: And when I would get my testing done, if it had grown, I would switch my plan and try something else.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_02: So I did that for three years.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_02: About three years, and it kept growing very, very slightly, but that was enough, you know.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so I tried so many things and uh exercise, of course.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: I finally got that down.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's not something that was part of your life, not really.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_02: I would do some yoga.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: I did yoga, but I didn't do anything that was getting my um heart rate up.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I I hike also, I hike, I do yoga, and I'm always sitting up and standing up and sitting down during a sound healing.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but it wasn't getting my heart rate up.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_02: The naturopathic oncologist wanted me to do 20 minutes of sweating four times a week.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: So it took a while to get okay.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: So it's the sweating part, the detoxing.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so does it have anything to do with the heart rate, or the heart rate initiates the sweating?
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I think that the heart rate, getting the heart rate uh pumps the blood and there oxygenates the blood, and it's just so good for the body to do that.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and then the sweat, of course, detoxing, because all of the uh uh saunas are so good.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_02: So uh because uh tumors, uh cancer doesn't like heat.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_02: So red light therapy, saunas and things like that.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_02: So it it became a whole process.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, my mornings are are still dedicated to healing.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, you know, I'm bouncing, I'm doing the vibrational plate, uh, I try to do a sauna now once a week, all sorts of different things.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: And um so were you were you kind of relying on allopathic for the testing?
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_02: And I still am, and that's uh it's been four and a half years, it's been now.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_02: And um I uh go to a wonderful, kind, understanding uh oncologist who understands using both methods.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_02: And um, I did try for a while a uh estrogen blocker, um, a pill, uh, because the naturopathic oncologist said, why don't you try it and just see if it works for you?
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_02: And um I started feeling uh a lot of side effects.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_02: And some of the side effects that could happen are uh heart failure, heart disease, bone loss, uh bone density loss.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_02: They found that I had a little bit of osteopenia in my lower back.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um and they did that, but they took those tests before giving me the um estrogen blocker because they know that it it sucks the bone density out.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_02: And um I started feeling pain in in that area, a lot of pain after about a year and a half of taking that estrogen blocker, and I just decided it wasn't worth it anymore.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I would rather have strong bones and strong heart health and um go back on a couple of natural um supplements that do the same thing.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like pomegranate.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_02: Uh sorry?
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: Pomegranate?
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_02: Pomegranate.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_02: I drink pomegranate juice, but uh dim D-I-M and also uh something called myomin.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_02: It's a Chinese herb.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_02: And uh so that's what I'm doing now.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_02: And so I still take all the supplements and I still I get tested at about every every four months, four to six months.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_02: And um, it started to shrink about a year and a quarter ago, year and a year and a half ago.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it started to shrink after I started meditating.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I started meditating um specifically with uh the Joe Dispensa, Dr.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_02: Joe Dispensa's work.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_02: And um I went to one of his uh two and a half day seminars, and when I got back from that seminar for the first time, it had shrunk um two centimeters.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought that was pretty fascinating.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_02: Uh a year later I went after a week long with Dr.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_02: Joe, um, it shrunk another centimeter, and now we're holding at that right now.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_02: So that's kind of where I stand right now.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, this is such a it's such a journey.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um how did this shift your relationship?
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because you had been married, I think you said two years or so.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, about two, two and a quarter years.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_02: Um uh it was he was really behind me.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_02: He is still really behind my decisions and um not trying to push um his desires on me or anything or his way of healing.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um, just whatever I chose was gonna be okay with him.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_02: And um I really appreciated that.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_02: And he his support has been uh phenomenal uh throughout all of it.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_02: And so it hasn't it may bring have brought us deeper together, actually, because um uh I don't think I would have fallen into these places of uh like doubt and worry.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_02: It's doubt, doubt is a huge one, doubt and worry um to this level um without this happening.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_02: And so he would hold me and we would discuss it and uh work through it.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_02: And um it's been really beautiful, beautiful to be held in that way.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't know.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes I wonder if I would uh if I hadn't gotten together with him and this came up, you know, would I feel so strongly that my body can heal itself and really go on this route?
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_02: Because the route that I've chosen has been no surgery, no chemo, no radiation.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_02: So it's not the normal route.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_02: And um I wonder sometimes what where it would where which way it would have gone uh had I not been with him to do to go through this.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: So clearly you were making very individual um decisions that did not follow the prescribed route or a prescribed route, I'm guessing.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um how did you do the way that you were communicating with your body change?
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_00: How do you access that inner direction?
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_02: It's been an inner knowing, and I yes, I started talking to the tumor, um, and um yeah, having dialogue with the with the tumor, and it's been more of a knowing and than a belief.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_02: I it started out as a belief.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_02: I believe I can do this.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_02: And when I was at the Naturopathic Oncologist for the first that time when he said, Why do you think you got this?
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, that he said, Well, belief isn't enough.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_02: You better know.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_02: And so I worked on my knowing um uh over the years, just really focusing on the outcome and the version of myself that is healthy, optimal health, and um really stepping into becoming that version, um, no matter what it takes, and focusing on that.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um and it's it's has its challenges uh because you get a weird little twinge in a breast, and uh you think, oh gosh, you know, or maybe your lymph gland gets swollen um because maybe you were eating quite as well, or or there's a sniffle and your your lymph nodes are doing their job and they're moving the fluid out, but every little thing can can potentially be like an uh-oh, what's happening?
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_02: So um it's it's diligent, diligent behavior, diligent working with my mind, working with my uh heart, working in meditation to feel what it would feel like at the end of the journey when um I'm walking around in my optimal health.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: So on the one hand, there's this work with the with the inner knowing.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_00: And then on the other hand, there's you know, living in a finite body.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, I'm sure that you tried many things that immediately you knew weren't gonna be helpful.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: So, and did was were you listening to synchronicities like suddenly something would appear on your feed about a certain supplement or a certain technology or oh yeah, yeah.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_02: And people would send me things, and I had mostly seen all of the things that were sent to me, and I still get uh new things popping up every now and then, and I'll say, Oh, that could be interesting.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_02: Let's try that, let's see what that feels like.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_02: So I've been very experimental and I've been trying a lot of different things, and um it's it's been fascinating, actually.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_02: It's been really fascinating, and um that's so many different things out there that people are doing, yeah.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: And it's there's so many new things, but there's also so many old things coming back around, right?
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like so, what what you know what are some of the things that you are doing?
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I re hyperbaric chamber uh is great.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_02: Uh red light and then cold.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_02: So um red light, cold plunges, uh the combination of the two.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um I think I I mentioned uh coffee enemas.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_02: For the first couple months, I did about five coffee enemas a week, sometimes seven.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but that was my main thing just to detox my body.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I know a lot of people don't agree with uh coffee enemas, and and that's okay.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um, there's what I found on this journey is that every time I read something amazing and positive about something, another article pops up with the complete opposite.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_02: So everything, every time is me needing to use my own compass and own feeling of what feels right.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because it's you read one thing and then you read the complete opposite.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_02: So it's been kind of like that.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's difficult.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_00: And and also, you know, I I I mean, I can only say what what I'm imagining would be my experience, but it's almost like you just so desperately want somebody to tell you what to do.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like give me the the healing packet and I will read it tonight.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, right.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_02: But a lot of people do tell you what to do.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_02: So there comes a point where you're like, ah, don't tell me what to do anymore.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_02: Uh yeah, there come the everybody is trying to help.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I mean everybody is trying to help and bless their hearts.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but it's a little bit inundating.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and then you've got the people who don't agree with you with what you're doing, and that for me was family.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_02: And uh my family uh didn't support what I was doing.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_02: Well, my nephew, who I adore, bless his heart, he's an MD PhD, and he studies cancer.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_02: So he called me one day.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_02: He called me one day, and and you know, he's like, What are you doing?
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you're you're newly married, you're happy, you've got this house, and you, you know, don't don't be stupid type of thing.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, I know you're just doing this because you love me.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_02: And uh, so now we don't talk about it.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_02: So he and I, we we don't talk about it.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_02: And then another family member, um I had to to say, stop, that this is not healthy for me.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I've had to get very strong boundaries with people, actually, not just not just family.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_02: The family's great now.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_02: They kind of, you know, they're they've accepted what I'm doing.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and uh, you know, I we talk about tests and uh uh when I get them and what the results are and things of that nature, but um, I've learned to get really strong boundaries.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um it's been really good uh because uh people sending me all sorts of political posts because everything is up right now, right?
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_02: So they're sending me things and I've had to say no, this is not healthy, this is not conducive for my healing my body.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_02: So I won't discuss politics with you.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_02: I'll leave a table if it gets into political discussion, um, things of that nature.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_02: And so I've had to get really healthy boundaries.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_02: It's been great.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's so interesting.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not just about um, you know, creating the health, uh pursuing health, it's it's like creating an environment where you can be calm and rested and of the mind as well as the body, right?
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_02: There there are so much like that.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_02: It uh there are several different legs of healing, you know.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_02: You've got to get rid of the toxins, and you think that's just in the body, but that means shampoo and cosmetics and clothing and cleaning supplies and sheets, uh, everything toxic has to go.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_02: And so you have to redo all of that, and then you have to think about spirituality and how is your uh relationship with God, you know, what are you giving time to?
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, that's another leg of it, and then the food that you're putting in your body, um, and then the exercise, and then the physical stuff, energetic stuff.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_02: So it's kind of like a clock, and there's all these different directions and uh emotions, boundaries, um, and nervous system, like you said, is is huge work.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_02: I do my best not to even work before one o'clock these days.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so now I'm doing my my morning stuff and then uh I'm going to the gym and then I'm home by 12:30.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_02: So uh one o'clock is occasionally I'll make an exception, but uh one o'clock is the earliest I like to work now.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm an afternoon worker, and it has helped me so much to allow my body to get up in its own rhythm.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_02: So without the alarm clock, allow my body to just wake up when it's ready to wake up.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_02: Because I had to uh have a lot of deep sleep for tissue repair and everything that the body uh I we forget.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, the body's using a lot of energy to heal.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_00: So interesting.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_00: I I want to get into the spiritual aspect of it, but let's hit the emotional journey uh first.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_00: So how did how did that go?
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it there's it's just mind-boggling how many in an instant you suddenly have all this work to do.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_00: You've got, you know, like full-time job, job time and a half, you know, every day trying to figure that trying to figure this out.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um so how do how was that emotional ride for you?
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_00: And and for you as as a couple as well.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because your your your emotions are never just just about you, really, are they?
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_02: They're they're really yeah, yeah.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um at first, uh, as I said, I I I was in shock for the first six months.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_02: And um there would be tears.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_02: I was all over the place, I think, but I think I was kind of keeping it together, but also all over the place.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and um uh Daniel and I'd would have tears together, and uh I could I was looking back at my relationships and my boundaries and my uh exploring uh familial relationships and where I had to choke my words down and not speak, and and where where I stifled myself in my work relationships and in everything.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_02: And um it was a deep dive to see what or what I wanted to continue on with, what was healthy and what wasn't healthy.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_02: And um it was it's was very powerful.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I got to see a lot of behaviors and and belief systems that weren't serving me anymore and work on changing those around, unplugging them and plugging new ones in.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_02: And um it took a it it was a lot.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_02: I'm really lucky to be with somebody who uh does counseling and emotional work with people because he would ask me questions that would help me go deep also.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_02: I I had some that I was reading, I had some that that he and I discussed and I could just journal about.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_02: So the emotional aspect is great.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it you go really deep, but at the same time, I became the healing journey.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_02: And um, I didn't realize it.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_02: I had kind of fused myself with the healing journey.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_02: And uh it was probably about two and a half years in, maybe two years in, when I was chatting with a friend who was, she's very psychic.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_02: And and she she said, you know, may I say something?
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_02: I said, sure, because we weren't having this session, we were just having tea.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_02: And she said, Valerie, you've become your healing journey.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_02: And she put her hands like this, and and she she goes, You need to, and then she started to go like this, and I suddenly understood, like, oh my god, I got totally lost.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_02: I got totally lost in the healing journey, and I became it.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_02: And where's Valerie?
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_02: Where did Valerie go?
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_02: And um, so I got to focus.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_02: Uh that that was such a huge boom, it landed in me in such a solid way, and I got to focus on um the healing journey over here and Valerie over here, and bring Valerie back the things that she liked, and something shifted in that moment.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_02: It was it was really huge.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_02: And um, that I think is when the knowing came that I I was gonna be okay.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_02: That the in that moment I knew it.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_02: And uh so when people would say, How are you?
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_02: and they get very concerned, and they they get a look in their face, how are you?
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_02: And and um uh that's that's when when things shifted for me.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_02: I'd say I'm I'm really good and really feel it, really know it.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's so interesting because.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: How could you not?
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_00: How could that not happen to you?
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when your your entire life is has been taken over by this quest, you could say.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and to separate yourself from the quest is huge.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_02: It was it was really big.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_02: And um yeah, I I don't know anyone who hasn't become their healing journey along the way.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's probably necessary to some extent, especially in the beginning when you're when you're trying to figure things out.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_02: Because you have to you have to make it has to become first and foremost.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_02: It has to become the most important thing in your life.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_02: Until until your life becomes the like you're you're living, living, uh living and not not trying to live, but living your life.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_02: Get back to living your life and enjoying your life.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_02: And where the uh the cancer for me uh became secondary.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_02: It was no longer me trying to get well.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_00: I I will say that just following you on Facebook, it's very obvious that you've been having a blast for a while.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_00: So um what was that?
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_00: What was uh that decision to live life?
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_00: What did you bring into your life and what did you let go?
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_02: I let go of uh I let go of some relationships and um I let go of people because you let go of the relationships because um they weren't in alignment with me anymore, and I might want to hang on to them and hang on to them uh because I've always been a people pleaser.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so many of us know about that.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_02: And um I I let go of that.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_02: I started speaking up um and following what I wanted to do uh a little bit more and um being okay with other people getting upset.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_02: That's a big one.
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_02: It's hard.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_02: It's a big one.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_02: It's okay um for me, and in a weird way, the the diagnosis was kind of like I got to I got to pull that card whenever I wanted to, and that helped me in its own way to become uh more comfortable speaking my truth.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_00: Interesting.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_00: It is interesting, it is because oftentimes those relationships like there's not a clear and obvious reason.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's probably history, there's some kind of connection, and unless you have a really good reason, it's kind of hard to say, like, hey, done.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, yeah, but that's hard.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard to do.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I, you know, like you probably'm I'm assuming you had to make an assessment of energetically everything that was feeding you and everything that was feeding off of you or draining, draining from you, right?
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and that it's a constant process, that assessment.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um things change.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_02: Things change and uh uh people change, places change.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_02: There are places I I don't care to go anymore, restaurants for sure, uh that I will I can't eat in anymore because they're uh using foods with pesticides and uh all sorts of things.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_02: And so that was a huge more either.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's very hard for me to eat in restaurants now.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I still do, but not as much.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_02: I I can make a nice healthy meal at home.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I sit down to a a dinner at a restaurant with my family, like my kids, and they're they're like, okay, prepare yourself for the litany of discussions that have to occur between me and the waiter about the food.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's important.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_02: It's important.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_00: Not fun though.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_00: Other people don't really appreciate it if they're not.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, so what did you what did you bring um back into your life, or what did you bring into your life that was not there previously?
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um or that you had forgotten about that you loved.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_02: Still in the process, I'm still in the process of bringing one of those things back, and it's my artwork.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_02: And I go through spurts.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_02: So I have another um, I have a series I'm about to start.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_02: I haven't picked up a paintbrush in a long time, but I have an idea that I'm about to start.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm excited about that.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_02: That's exciting.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um I think uh travel, more fun, just having more fun in my life and um a lot of paddle boarding.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_02: I'm crazy about paddleboarding.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_02: We got into that on our honeymoon, and uh now we just make sure to go several times a year.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, what else did I uh bring in?
• 49:46
  SPEAKER_02: Well, exercise.
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_02: And uh what I'm really enjoying this summer is water aerobics.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_02: I never ever thought I would say that.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_02: But water aerobics.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_02: I go and I to the gym and I do 20 minutes of elliptical and I break out into a sweat, and then I run over to the to the pool and take a water aerobics class, and I feel like I'm a nine-year-old playing and splashing in the water to good music, and I'm just having a ball.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_00: That sounds like fun.
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna have to check in with you about exercise that's fun, is like that's right.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, there I haven't found too many things like that.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_02: So that's what that's my new my new thing.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_02: Um, what else did I bring back into my life?
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_02: One thing that I really love, and I don't skip, and I try not to skip um every morning is my morning matcha.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_02: I do a what I call a medicinal matcha tea latte, and I put in it um uh a 10 mushroom blend, an organic 10 mushroom blend, and some amla, which is super high in vitamin C, and moringa, which has a plethora of alien properties.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_02: And so I mix my morning matcha and I go out on my patio and I have tea, and it's um a beautiful, beautiful view.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_02: It's very peaceful, and I can kind of get in that zone um of peace, and I really uh do everything in my power not to miss that 30 minutes of tea time in the mornings, and that that's been really, really good for me.
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I feel like there's something so sacred about morning ritual.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, people feel it in instinctively, you know, with their coffee.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you know, maybe coffee might not be the best substance.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, but it sure is delicious.
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_00: And um, yeah, I feel like it it it I feel like when you can set a sacred container for yourself, you know, like I'm sacred, this time is sacred, this whatever uh environment is is sacred, that it shifts something.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it it shifted on a deep, deep level.
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_02: I I do a lot of things in the morning, starting with meditation, um, a little writing, uh bouncing on a on a rebounder, um and my tee.
• 52:27
  SPEAKER_02: And then I can leave the house.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_02: And that has reset a lot for me.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's been really good for my nervous system.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think it's really good for women too to take a moment before you start worrying about everybody else and tending to everybody else's needs, uh, to just tend to yourself first, put your oxygen mask on.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's so true.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_02: It's so true.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_02: And I I don't occasionally I'll break my rule, but I I don't go to my computer until after tea.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_02: Do my best not to look on my phone at text because there's guaranteed there's some work text or something coming in.
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_02: I do my best not to look at that until after tea time as well, or during tea time sometimes.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, that's an important one.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I try to do that too, also with varying degrees of success.
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_02: Work in progress.
• 53:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_00: So um let's talk just a little bit about this spiritual journey that cancer has been.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because you were you were pretty spiritual previously.
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_00: So how did it change and what happened with all of that?
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_02: It's been interesting actually.
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_02: I um for for years was uh really solidly in um the world of yoga and mantra.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_02: And um that started shifting, that sort of shifting out.
• 54:03
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't I started to uh not have the heart connection um that I used to have.
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_02: And that happened before um before the diagnosis.
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_02: And then I was floundering a little while, you know, talking to God and and and saying um praying and asking to be healed and things like this.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_02: And then um more recently I would say that Jesus, but not uh Christianity has kind of come in.
• 54:43
  SPEAKER_02: And um I I like it.
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's kind of like going back home, going home to my childhood, but there's a a a personal uh relationship now that I I'm having uh that's different, where I I sometimes feel like I'm hearing messages um or uh little little things that bring my attention.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_02: And so that the same uh with Mother Mary.
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_02: Mother Mary has shown up a lot for me.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_02: And um, I I'm one of the believers that feel that uh Mary Magdalene and Jesus had a marriage and uh union, sacred union.
• 55:29
  SPEAKER_02: So that's always been really uh important to me, that that whole line of uh consciousness.
• 55:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but getting kind of feedback, a little bit of feedback and and heart feelings uh from Jesus.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_02: I feel it.
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_02: I feel him in my heart.
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_02: And that's been really nice.
• 55:53
  SPEAKER_02: And and so uh that has changed.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_02: And so I communicate more.
• 55:59
  SPEAKER_02: I uh uh like a friend, like talking to a friend, I'll just have a little conversation with him.
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um and uh I'm not a churchgoer, I'm not um there's a lot of dogma with religions that I don't agree with, um, but that's kind of how things have shifted, and so that's kind of where I am now.
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_02: It's not uh so much the eastern philosophies, although I love meditation and uh I love mantra, um, but it's not where my heart is right now.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, wow.
• 56:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I have experienced a similar journey.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_00: Ah yeah, I mean, and I and I feel like I understand what you're saying about going back home because I was raised Catholic, and there were certain things about about that that I always loved, you know.
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_00: I that I had a connection with Mother Mary and Jesus, and then I had to give it up because I had to let go of the the dogma and the you know the structure.
• 57:07
  SPEAKER_00: And um, and it's it is it is it's like there's something living in it, there's something alive in it that is really relevant.
• 57:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yes, yeah there's there's something that's that's tangible that's communicating back, even if it's a little knock on the window or a little tick, a little something that brings my attention to the thought or the words that I just read and things of that nature.
• 57:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_00: Do you find that this has required a little bit of bravery um to return to you know this to return to Jesus without all the trappings?
• 57:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, it's been it's been a journey to do it because um it first came with a lot of the uh religious dogma and um that made me question my whole all my recent past and uh kind of freaked me out a little bit, you know.
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like uh those some of it like, you know, oh gosh, you know, what was I doing chanting and all all this stuff really came up.
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_02: And then I had to sort through that and I had to um come to uh understand um where I was at that at that time and where I'm going.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_02: And uh it's just I I don't even know how to put words to it, but it's just it's just a really lovely relationship.
• 58:49
  SPEAKER_00: Your um like your whole face is like sh lit up when you talk about that.
• 58:55
  SPEAKER_02: Ah, really?
• 58:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 58:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I I uh the I I raised my kids in a suburbs of a suburb of Chicago that was known for its um evangelical Christianity.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_00: And uh did I didn't even know that before I moved there.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_00: But I I was like so resistant to that sort of there's almost like a a force behind it, like um, you know, you have to experience it this way.
• 59:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I was so resistant to that.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and that was also part of my letting go of you know the the trappings, as I said before.
• 59:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I I just I just I've always been worried, even about even when I was spiritual like you, like, you know, doing yoga and um some of the Eastern practices.
• 59:54
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I you know, I I tried everything, so I don't feel bad about it.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_00: I was definitely seeking, um, but I've been you know kind of resistant to letting myself be seen in that way, um, because I am so you know sensitive to the judgment around it and the you know, so I guess I'm really coming out right now.
• 1:00:22
  SPEAKER_02: Ah, isn't that interesting?
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I I understand what you mean.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, I do.
• 1:00:27
  SPEAKER_02: I I understand that.
• 1:00:29
  SPEAKER_02: I I I've been letting I let myself be seen in that way when I do my opening prayers for work.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_02: I always call in Jesus.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I always call in Jesus and Mary and and Mary.
• 1:00:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:00:42
  SPEAKER_00: And um I know that because I've been in your soundbox several times.
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so um, but yeah, I think this is the first time I'm talking about it publicly as well.
• 1:00:55
  SPEAKER_02: So uh, but my friends who know me know um that, you know, I and I've been reading like the Ethiopian Bible.
• 1:01:07
  SPEAKER_00: I've got the Naghamadi scriptures right there on my coffee.
• 1:01:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, reading some of these uh lost pieces and the the forgotten pieces and yeah, listening to it.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of like I mean, I'm loving it.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm loving it so much.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like the the you know, the it's it's very, very powerful, very, very powerful.
• 1:01:31
  SPEAKER_00: And a part of me is like, are you kidding me?
• 1:01:34
  SPEAKER_00: I have like I'm back here with Jesus, like at this like, oh my god, I could have never guessed that in a million years, but here I am.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I'm happy.
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_00: What did you learn because of breast cancer that you couldn't have learned any other way?
• 1:01:52
  SPEAKER_02: Oh gosh, that's a good question.
• 1:01:54
  SPEAKER_02: Well, uh, first and foremost, I learned how to be kinder to my body with what I'm putting in my body, on my body, detoxing.
• 1:02:08
  SPEAKER_02: It was um a huge physical shift um of taking my health to the next level.
• 1:02:18
  SPEAKER_02: Different supplements, um, different um uh modalities and frequencies, and I've learned so much um about this, and um you'll have to forgive my mind, you know.
• 1:02:35
  SPEAKER_02: But I just want to digress for a second.
• 1:02:38
  SPEAKER_02: They took me off all of my bioidentical hormones immediately, and so when that happened, I was already starting to go into menopause at 56.
• 1:02:50
  SPEAKER_02: I think I was 58, 59-ish when this diagnosis came in.
• 1:02:57
  SPEAKER_02: 59.
• 1:02:58
  SPEAKER_02: And um, they took me off all my bioidentical hormones, and that just boom put me into menopause, and not just a light menopause, but a massive, massive menopause.
• 1:03:11
  SPEAKER_02: And I went to my regular doctor and I said, something's wrong.
• 1:03:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I think I think I'm going, I've got Alzheimer's or something's really wrong with my mind.
• 1:03:22
  SPEAKER_02: I can't find my words, I can't remember things, and uh, I think there's something really wrong with me.
• 1:03:28
  SPEAKER_02: And she said, Oh, it's hormones.
• 1:03:33
  SPEAKER_02: And so I didn't realize at the time that hormones had such uh an effect on our brains and how our brains work.
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_02: So um, I'm living with it, and I know that a lot of people are losing their words now because of shifting into different uh dimensions and and things of that nature, but I just want to apologize for all the times uh during our conversation.
• 1:03:59
  SPEAKER_02: I haven't been able to think of the word or be able to grasp what it is I'm trying to say.
• 1:04:04
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, yeah, yeah, no kidding.
• 1:04:07
  SPEAKER_00: I I mean being the questioner and you know, needing to have access to your words, it'd be terrifying sometimes.
• 1:04:15
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel in some ways healthier than when you yeah, by far, by far, yeah, yeah, without a doubt.
• 1:04:23
  SPEAKER_00: Your body feels like it's functioning like it's supposed to function.
• 1:04:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:04:29
  SPEAKER_00: I feel that way too.
• 1:04:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:04:30
  SPEAKER_00: When I gave up seed oils.
• 1:04:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, among other things.
• 1:04:34
  SPEAKER_00: I guess you would say that facing death was not really part a substantial part of your journey.
• 1:04:43
  SPEAKER_02: Um, yes and no.
• 1:04:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I'm not I'm not I'm okay with what happens.
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_02: I'm okay.
• 1:04:51
  SPEAKER_02: If if it's my turn to leave, it's my turn to leave.
• 1:04:54
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm I really feel that way.
• 1:04:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that we have choice points as souls that we put into our lives uh when we come in.
• 1:05:04
  SPEAKER_02: And uh so far, you know, yeah, this is a a choice point, and so far I've not chosen that that road.
• 1:05:14
  SPEAKER_02: And um, I'm okay if I do, it's okay, but I have looked at death in a very 3D way, and I have been getting my paperwork in order, um, all the things that I've been putting off for decades, um, slowly getting all of that stuff in order, and I still have a lot more work to do to put it all in one place.
• 1:05:42
  SPEAKER_02: So um, if I do happen to go, um, that it's gonna be super easy for yeah, bye every it's on my list too.
• 1:05:51
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's just a kind thing to do to your for your family and make it as easy as possible.
• 1:05:57
  SPEAKER_00: So that's been part of my journey as well.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_00: So earlier in our conversation, I think it was actually up front, that you you talked about timelines.
• 1:06:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I just was wondering if you could kind of take us through your understanding of that in case people aren't familiar with that.
• 1:06:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:06:17
  SPEAKER_02: It's my belief that there are lots of different timelines and lots of different dimensions.
• 1:06:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I believe that every time that a person makes a choice and their consciousness moves forward in the timeline where they made that choice, there is a split-off, another timeline that begins with that person who made the opposite choice.
• 1:06:49
  SPEAKER_02: Let's say someone's thinking about moving, you know, to a different country.
• 1:06:55
  SPEAKER_02: This person says yes, and they move to that different country, and this is the version of them that said no, and it's going off in this other timeline.
• 1:07:04
  SPEAKER_00: I understand what you're saying.
• 1:07:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that like the way that I would describe it is that you are in this space, and fanned out in front of you are infinite choices that you could make.
• 1:07:19
  SPEAKER_00: And conscious Valerie chose health and well-being.
• 1:07:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that doesn't mean that the other timeline is not still existing.
• 1:07:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's just that you're not on it consciously.
• 1:07:34
  SPEAKER_01: Correct.
• 1:07:34
  SPEAKER_01: Correct.
• 1:07:35
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe a part of your unconscious is exploring that, but you are living a conscious life here.
• 1:07:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so this is where you want to go.
• 1:07:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then everything changes because you're the boss.
• 1:07:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:07:50
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:07:50
  SPEAKER_00: In a way, like you're given the choice and you make the choice, and then the consequences follow, you know.
• 1:07:55
  SPEAKER_00: But so um and what why is that important for us to know?
• 1:08:01
  SPEAKER_00: Or that when we make a choice, there's it's important, like the choices that you make in every moment are important.
• 1:08:10
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I just said it.
• 1:08:11
  SPEAKER_00: I got it.
• 1:08:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think that as we grow in consciousness, that begins to dawn on us.
• 1:08:20
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe not at the beginning of our of our spiritual journey and our consciousness journey, but as we grow and as we experience and as we're looking around, we're like, oh, we kind of get that we can do that.
• 1:08:34
  SPEAKER_02: And then there are even people who teach timeline jumping.
• 1:08:39
  SPEAKER_02: There are a lot of people out there who teach people how to do it.
• 1:08:42
  SPEAKER_02: I haven't done a course in that, but um, I think it if we look at consciousness like a ladder, and there's a rung on the ladder where it becomes very obvious that we have a lot of choices and that we are the creators of our life, and that we can uh create the life we want through our choices and through our mind and things like that.
• 1:09:07
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, that's a that's a rung on the ladder.
• 1:09:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's a good one.
• 1:09:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay.
• 1:09:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, is there anything that you wish you had learned or known earlier in your journey?
• 1:09:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:09:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um biopsies.
• 1:09:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's tricky.
• 1:09:28
  SPEAKER_00: I just I know exactly what you're gonna say.
• 1:09:32
  SPEAKER_02: You can't get any allopathic treatments done without getting a biopsy because they need to take a biopsy and they need to put that under a microscope and decide what kind of cancer you have so that they know what kind of chemotherapy and radiation and all that stuff they are going to treat you with.
• 1:10:00
  SPEAKER_02: And no doctor will treat you for no allopathic doctor will treat you for cancer without having that biopsy.
• 1:10:09
  SPEAKER_02: But there are there's a camp that says biopsies are fine, they're no problem.
• 1:10:16
  SPEAKER_02: You just they just come and snip off a little bit of the tumor and it's fine, and they send it to the lab.
• 1:10:22
  SPEAKER_02: And then there's another um side of things that say that well, when you snip off that little piece of the tumor that takes something that's encapsulated and doing what the body does, the body encapsulates it to help it to heal, uh, you know, in the right environments and and and doing all the right things.
• 1:10:51
  SPEAKER_02: But when you break that skin, you've created a hole, and now those cells, the cancerous cells, can go out of the body and spread to other organs and spread through the lymphatic system, and uh that's metastasis.
• 1:11:08
  SPEAKER_02: So I um in my biopsy uh they snipped in two areas and uh because as I said, it was shaped like a octopus.
• 1:11:23
  SPEAKER_02: I have since turned down biopsies.
• 1:11:27
  SPEAKER_02: Uh there's a there's a cyst uh and everybody says it looks completely benign.
• 1:11:33
  SPEAKER_02: All of the ultrasound people, the radiologist, and but they still wanted me to do biopsy on it.
• 1:11:39
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, no, I'm not gonna do that.
• 1:11:42
  SPEAKER_02: So I have a cyst growing near the other mass.
• 1:11:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but it's it hasn't changed at all.
• 1:11:50
  SPEAKER_02: And everybody says it it's yeah, benign.
• 1:11:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:11:55
  SPEAKER_02: But I won't biopsy it because I um believe the second one is that it can cause spread.
• 1:12:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:12:03
  SPEAKER_00: I had an experience of that before I ever heard about it.
• 1:12:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I like so I had like a little thing on my shoulder, or my shoulder.
• 1:12:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it was like, I mean, it was obviously it would change.
• 1:12:16
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I was after many years of looking at it, I was like, I'm just gonna go get this checked out.
• 1:12:24
  SPEAKER_00: So they so it was just like a literally a little spot.
• 1:12:28
  SPEAKER_00: So they did a biopsy and it immediately went like this.
• 1:12:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I had like a ring of little spots outside of that.
• 1:12:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Oh, I know what happened here, and you know, they're calling me and wanting me to, you know, come back in and blah blah blah.
• 1:12:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, um, I'm done.
• 1:12:51
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 1:12:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:12:53
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just kind of interesting the the things that you learn on the journey.
• 1:12:58
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, so interesting.
• 1:13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, so I guess that that answers my next question question, which was what would you have done differently?
• 1:13:07
  SPEAKER_00: But maybe something non-physical that you can share with us about, you know, how you organized your your thoughts and your heart and your spirit around this journey.
• 1:13:22
  SPEAKER_02: I would have started meditating much earlier, um, because meditation has um it's shifted so many areas of my life.
• 1:13:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I I I think in two years I've missed maybe three days of meditation um due to fever.
• 1:13:45
  SPEAKER_02: And so I uh I would have started much earlier with that, and also I I would have um taken a better look at how our minds can create our reality earlier on and um gone down that road.
• 1:14:10
  SPEAKER_02: Interesting.
• 1:14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 1:14:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then my last question for you is how has this journey changed you and how you show up in the world?
• 1:14:23
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, it's changed to me so much, and sometimes I think I'm not I haven't changed at all.
• 1:14:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um I am much more inward and I'm much more of a homebody, and I'm liking it, and um I've become much more compassionate.
• 1:14:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'll find myself tearing up and having tears uh much more easily.
• 1:14:54
  SPEAKER_02: I want to give, I want to give back, I want to give back to people who are going through this and help them on that journey.
• 1:15:04
  SPEAKER_02: Help them understand that there are things they can do that can help themselves while no matter what they choose, how they choose to treat it, that there are other things that they can do that can be very beneficial for them.
• 1:15:19
  SPEAKER_02: Are you writing a book or developing a I yeah, I've been writing an ebook.
• 1:15:24
  SPEAKER_02: I just need to finish it.
• 1:15:25
  SPEAKER_02: It's about it's kind of I'm calling it so you've been diagnosed with cancer.
• 1:15:34
  SPEAKER_02: Now what?
• 1:15:36
  SPEAKER_02: And so there are a lot of little steps in there, what you need to look at.
• 1:15:40
  SPEAKER_02: And we talked about some of that energetic stuff, uh getting rid of toxins, food, detoxing, parasites, frequency, frequency healing, um, all sorts of different things that people can look at in addition to no matter what they choose and how they choose to heal and to treat whatever their illness is.
• 1:16:03
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm I'm doing that.
• 1:16:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I also made a couple of workbooks that are uh just questions for people, uh, ones for breast cancer, one's for um regular cancer, uh, questions that people can really explore their emotions.
• 1:16:21
  SPEAKER_02: And here I'm I'm tearing up, can uh explore their emotions to find out what might have triggered the body to react in that kind of way.
• 1:16:36
  SPEAKER_02: And not not every illness is or not every thought is going to turn into an illness, but they can, especially if they've been happening uh for years and years and years.
• 1:16:46
  SPEAKER_02: So I've written two uh workbooks about that, and they are both on Amazon.
• 1:16:53
  SPEAKER_02: And um, I have for years been writing my story.
• 1:16:59
  SPEAKER_02: It's not finished.
• 1:17:02
  SPEAKER_02: I need to get back to it.
• 1:17:06
  SPEAKER_02: I have new stuff to add.
• 1:17:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:17:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:17:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you know, um, one of the things that we didn't talk about, and maybe you can just finish up with this topic, um, is you know, the the the terminology around cancer is that you're in a fight.
• 1:17:25
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, yeah.
• 1:17:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I can't imagine that that's actually very productive.
• 1:17:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I like how did you how do you do you see your body as an ally or were did you feel betrayal?
• 1:17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um open up that can of arms.
• 1:17:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's a great question.
• 1:17:46
  SPEAKER_02: I I didn't feel betrayal, I understood immediately why.
• 1:17:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um it's it's like, oh my gosh, this was because of all the years and all the tears I shed, all the years of of going through suicidal thoughts and hopelessness and all of that is encapsulated here now.
• 1:18:10
  SPEAKER_02: And so that made sense to me.
• 1:18:12
  SPEAKER_02: And so it I didn't feel betrayed.
• 1:18:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and at first I would listen to other people, they say, Oh, uh, you know, don't don't say you have cancer, like never say it's mine, never claim it, um, all of these things.
• 1:18:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I started doing all these things that other people were telling me to do.
• 1:18:36
  SPEAKER_02: This is this is another great thing I learned is is how to just stick with what I want and what feels right for me, rather than uh doing everything that everybody else feels is right.
• 1:18:49
  SPEAKER_02: Um but I did go to uh healer uh for a little while who uh had conversations with the tumor.
• 1:19:01
  SPEAKER_02: And um she she at one point was talking to me and she had her hand on the tumor and and she said, Well, you know, what if uh what if it didn't go away and you know that it stayed because sometimes they they don't go away and you know as long as uh it knew that it couldn't hurt you anymore.
• 1:19:36
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, but I thought about that and I thought, oh.
• 1:19:40
  SPEAKER_02: And then she said, Oh, it says, What?
• 1:19:43
  SPEAKER_02: I'm hurting her?
• 1:19:43
  SPEAKER_02: I thought I was helping her.
• 1:19:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, wow, right?
• 1:19:49
  SPEAKER_02: So I thought that was really interesting that the tumor answered and she heard it.
• 1:19:55
  SPEAKER_02: And so that was when I started having conversations with the tumor.
• 1:19:58
  SPEAKER_02: And so I would tell it, it's time for you to go.
• 1:20:02
  SPEAKER_02: It's you've been here long enough, it's time for you to go.
• 1:20:05
  SPEAKER_02: And and then it didn't.
• 1:20:09
  SPEAKER_02: And then so I started to say that uh it's kind of squatting in my house.
• 1:20:18
  SPEAKER_02: It's this the tumor is squatting, it's not wanting to move out, it's it's a squatter in my house.
• 1:20:27
  SPEAKER_02: And there was a time when I said I was cohabitating with it, and then somebody chimed in and said, Well, you shouldn't say that.
• 1:20:36
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'm saying, well, it's a squatter, you know, it's time for it to go, but it's not going.
• 1:20:41
  SPEAKER_02: And and so I leave it at that.
• 1:20:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:20:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, beautiful.
• 1:20:48
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for sharing so much of your yourself and your journey with us.
• 1:20:54
  SPEAKER_00: I I think it's really um gonna be impactful, and we'll definitely make sure to connect all the people who are interested in knowing what you know um in the show notes.
• 1:21:07
  SPEAKER_02: And that would be great.
• 1:21:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, thank you.
• 1:21:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, thank you so much, Valley.
• 1:21:13
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, thank you so much.
• 1:21:14
  SPEAKER_02: It's so good to see you again, and thank you for inviting me to talk about this.
• 1:21:19
  SPEAKER_02: It's important.
• 1:21:20
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.