Latest / DA CREW Podcast / SEASON2 EPISODE_138_DA CREW PODCAST_HOST LATONYA M LITTLEJOHN

Transcript

SEASON2 EPISODE_138_DA CREW PODCAST_HOST LATONYA M LITTLEJOHN · DA CREW Podcast

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hey, and welcome to another episode of the Great I
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  Speaker 6: every body don't know me again.
• 3:04
  Speaker 7: Good evening, Good evening, Good evening, and welcome back to
• 3:08
  Speaker 7: another episode of Delayed but Not to Night of the podcast. Tonight,
• 3:13
  Speaker 7: we will be discussing divorce and separation and all of
• 3:18
  Speaker 7: that good stuff. This is part two of the conversation.
• 3:21
  Speaker 7: But before we get started, I would like to go
• 3:23
  Speaker 7: to God in prayer. Heavenly Father, we come to you
• 3:26
  Speaker 7: tonight asking you to be in the midst of the conversation.
• 3:29
  Speaker 7: Let us say what needs to be said. Let the
• 3:32
  Speaker 7: ears they need to receive it, receive it in your
• 3:35
  Speaker 7: Son's name, We pray. Amen. So before we go any further,
• 3:41
  Speaker 7: I have to bring up my girls, Trevida, Nudget and Patrice.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: Okay, hey, yest too, and.
• 3:56
  Speaker 7: We got a special guest too. Hey little lady, Hey,
• 4:02
  Speaker 7: he said, Hey, she fust sending her mama, y'all.
• 4:12
  Speaker 5: I apologize. Continue, I'm so shocked. She'll be back, of course.
• 4:21
  Speaker 5: I'm sorry, y'all.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: No worries.
• 4:24
  Speaker 7: The last time we talked, Trivita, you shared your story.
• 4:29
  Speaker 7: What led you to divorce, and so tonight we would
• 4:33
  Speaker 7: like to hear Pateresa's story and if we have enough
• 4:35
  Speaker 7: time you because I know our situation is a little similar.
• 4:42
  Speaker 7: So Pata you have the floor. Oh and I got
• 4:48
  Speaker 7: I got wine, y'all.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: See, nobody told me that we.
• 4:54
  Speaker 5: I don't have one.
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: I got body on my calorie water. I got I
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: got coconut water.
• 5:02
  Speaker 7: So it's a beverage.
• 5:07
  Speaker 5: Cool.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: So my journey is two part. Right now, I am
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: going through my second divorce right now, and people will
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: be like, are you crazy? Yeah, I did, I did
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: it twice. But my first marriage was really about us
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: wanting to raise our son together. We came from two
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: broken homes and you know, we wanted to be parents.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: And the crazy way we got married is we wanted
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: to move in together. Okay, and his family was very religious.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: My mother was very religious religious, and they didn't believe
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: in that shacking up. Oh no, but look man, we were.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: I was twenty three and for my family, that's very young,
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: I mean very old to have a child. I mean
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: I was pregnant with my aunt, him pregnant with my
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: little cousin. Yeah, babies in my family they coming threes.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: So we were literally sitting down there. There was no
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: premierried counseling, no none of that, okay, and my mom said,
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: you ain't leaving out this house with that baby and
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: going to stay in his house. So Heterly looked at
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: me and he was like, you just want to go
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: ahead and get married, that's mean. Yeah, went the walmart,
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: got my little wind vand a week later we were
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: sitting up there going to the courthouse, signed the paper,
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: and like three weeks after that, I was walking down
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  Speaker 2: my aunt's step. His family was happy, My family were happy,
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: and we tried. We gave it an honest to god try,
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: but it just wasn't wasn't you know. Year one, year two, beautiful, blissful,
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: year three, Yeah, yeah, four, year five suck was through.
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  Speaker 2: We we we're cool.
• 7:31
  Speaker 6: Uh.
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  Speaker 2: We did have some domestic violence issues and it was
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: like really just one physical but my mouth is reckless.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: His mouth was reckless, so the verbal thing was not good.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: But we we sticked it out to be parents or outside.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: And and it was his namesake. It was my mother's
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: first grandson, first grand period, his mother's first grand period,
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: so you know, we put on that fake persponding when
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: we were around the church and when we were with
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: our families, and when we go home, like, look, dude
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: was sleeping in one room.
• 8:15
  Speaker 5: I was.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: We were living like roommates. Okay, now, full transparency. Your
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: girl was wild.
• 8:30
  Speaker 8: I did.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: Thanks the spines the spines.
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: But it doesn't imagine that way.
• 8:41
  Speaker 5: I can't even imagine you that way.
• 8:43
  Speaker 7: Man.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: When y'all come down here for Charleston on the nineteen,
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: we're gonna have to sit down chet chitty chat chats,
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: you know, girls and thanks. But but like right now,
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: if I was to see him on the street and
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna say his name, because you know, respect is
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: respect given, we could literally say, hey, how you doing.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: He is going on with his life. He has another wife,
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: two beautiful girls. When our son graduates everything, we were
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: always there. When Jans graduated from fifth grade, we were there.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: We worked through it, sixth when he graduated from eighth grade,
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: we were through it. When he graduated from high school
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: in the middle of COVID so cool. We had a
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: graduation party. We did it together, and you know, our
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: son saw that. Now what I'm going through. Now, look
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: at this camera again. Please let me go sign the papers.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: Greatly appreciate it. Thank you, you know what I am.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: You know telephone number, and you need the email address,
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: do what you need to do that one I want
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: to say, I look back and if I want to
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: be there was love, and it was COVID and my
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: mother was dying. So all those factors, and I think
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: when I actually did have a conversation with a great
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: friend of mine who's listening in thank you, thank you,
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: my support living more than that, but well that's a
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: whole other show. After talking to him one night, I
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: kind of realized that that I think that was more
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: of me being afraid, uh huh, in the terms of myself,
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: of all the situations that were going on, me being
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: totally afraid. But he was my best friend. We met,
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: we were ten years old, we were in church togethers
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: our families knew each other. His father's sound at my
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: mother's funeral, like it was so much intertwine. And I
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: thought that you guys thought that this was going to work.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: I thought of any any issues. I will say this
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: person did have mental health issues, but I was willing
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: to stay the course and find out the information that
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: I need to find out to make things work. Full transparency,
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: It was a uh, full transparency and I would say
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: played me, but I will say that mhmm, yeah, yeah,
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: it was was. It was one of those ones that
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: if it wasn't for Angela, if it wasn't for Tory,
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: him and greefriend and my therapy at the time, I
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: don't I don't think I would have ever bounced back
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: from that. That one had hurt because I had put
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: a lot into it, and I'm going in the full
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: transparency mold even more what the person who was listening
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: doesn't even know. I put a lot into that, And
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: even the fact that it caused strife in my.
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: Family because your defenses were down in a way that
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: you had never let them down because of everything that
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: you were going through, and you felt safe enough to
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: trust him in that manner and he hadn't given that.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And it wasn't like, oh we just met up.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: It's like, y'all, we've been in and out of each
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: other's like since we were ten year old and we
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: got married. I guess I was like forty forty one,
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: I'm forty three now, no, I'm forty four, So forty one.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: We did not even make it to the first anniversary.
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  Speaker 4: Y'all, it was it was the with everything that you
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: were going through, it was one of those things where
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: it was you felt safe enough and he was your
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: safety net and you felt very safe, very protected.
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  Speaker 5: But it was also.
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: I say, well, yes, yes, one of those moments where
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: he came in and was like, Okay, I can get
• 13:25
  Speaker 4: her because there's no defense there.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: And I will say, and just to be totally honest,
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: that that person didn't instill some things in me that
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: has helped me on my podcast, that has given me
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: that that strength to be able to speak and be
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: able to do this, you know what I'm saying. So
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: I would give credit where credit is due. And I
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: think before we even got to the point right now,
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: whereas I've been begging to get out of this, I
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: just want paper or something, I got a text messag
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: seeing you free, No Brah that is not solidified by
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: the government. Dog. I'll never forget Tory telling me because
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: I was so hurt, y'all. I cried, I cried, I cried,
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: I cried. Tory told me to go wash my face,
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: go wash the I don't know how hard that is,
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: because when you watch your fish, you gotta stand yourself. Yeah, yeah,
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: back at that person, and I had to go through therapy.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: Now I was already going through therapy for something else,
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: but then me and my therapist focused on this because
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: I wanted to do this. And I remember I was
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: looking mister Gubam and I got a snicker. I remember
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: I had just a job at a new branch, and
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: I can remember had a everybody fool because y'all, I
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: was getting flowers, I was getting lunch, I was getting
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: phone calls, I was getting notes. And I think that's
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: one of the things that's kind of hindering me right now,
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: is because I was present for all that, and even
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: where I am right now with the pursuing relationship that
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: I'm in, I kind of checked myself out and was
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: not going down that road. Like I kind of putting
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: that bear and I know he is going to rick
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: me apart because he's listening. I put that barrier up
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: and then but I had to turn around and had
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: to be transparent and I and I had to apologize
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: to him, and I said, you know what, I wasn't there,
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: and now I'm making an effort to be there because
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: I was scared.
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and I and you were able to recognize that though.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and so you guys, I went through some my
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: therapist spoke. We were first about me being afraid of
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: I was dealing with survivor's remorse, so sir, and we
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: started focusing on the hurt and the pain that I
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: was going through. And I remember on my therapy call
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: at work and y'all me and my therapist and I'm
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: walking through the neighborhoods of downtown. Yeah, I didn't. One day,
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: I was on the line for two hours. I didn't
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: even notice that she didn't even notice that. It wasn't
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: until I got a text my boss say when you're
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: coming back, this's me old snap. I totally forgot. I
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: had already walked to the side of downtown Chauston because
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: I was so All I have to say is that
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: in each marriage I've been through, I've learned a lot.
• 16:50
  Speaker 5: Uh huh.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: And I said this, I said, if I ever get
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: another relationship again, that God will have to come down,
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: or Jesus would have to come down, sit next to
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: me and say, hey, my homeboy trying to holler. And
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: I I feel at this time he was true, because
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: the package that I have right now is not what
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: I was looking at.
• 17:16
  Speaker 5: It's not the person.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: We was looking there, you guys. And I'm there and
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: I'm doing things that I never thought I would do again.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: It's slow, and so I'm able to still am I
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: fully here? No, because I do have some residue, and
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: I think everybody will always have to do. I don't
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: think nobody can really truly say they could fully heal
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: from everything they got to do. And I still got it.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: But I thank God that this person is willing to
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: let me that I have that residue and they don't
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: against me. So that's a bad the blessing.
• 18:07
  Speaker 7: We just want to invite to the wind.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: Dang, you gotta put me up people. I've never had
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: a church wedding.
• 18:16
  Speaker 7: You guys, wow, you want to no matter where it said,
• 18:20
  Speaker 7: the church, house, the courthouse, we want to be there.
• 18:25
  Speaker 9: Decination when destination will travel, we will travel.
• 18:29
  Speaker 10: You got married, whoever you are.
• 18:37
  Speaker 7: Whenever we need to.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: Know, we get to go. I mean down.
• 18:48
  Speaker 9: No, we're just putting into the atmosphere. It's just going
• 18:51
  Speaker 9: in the atmosphere, that's.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: All they are. The second time I got married, and
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: the reason why it hurt so much is because I
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: got married two days before my mother died.
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: See that's another thing. Yeah, all of that is the connection.
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: But you know there's the bitter and the suite that
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: comes with that, you know, and there was some hard
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: lessons in there, but there have been some blessings in
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: there and it has motivated you in ways that.
• 19:25
  Speaker 5: You never thought. Which you're doing your podcast, which is great.
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: So you know you got it when you take that
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: step back and you look at Youkay, what in the
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: world was I supposed to.
• 19:37
  Speaker 5: Be learning from this?
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: I did not want to feel this. I did not
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: want to go through this, all of us hurt, all
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: this pain. What was it for?
• 19:45
  Speaker 5: What did I gain from this? And in the sense
• 19:48
  Speaker 5: when you're going through it, you feel like you're losing
• 19:51
  Speaker 5: every single thing, and it's like, oh my god.
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: But then when you finally get over that emotion and
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: you sit down and you're like, okay, well you.
• 20:01
  Speaker 11: Taught me how to do that. Okay, let me give
• 20:03
  Speaker 11: you some little credit right now.
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: You taught me that.
• 20:05
  Speaker 5: Thank you.
• 20:06
  Speaker 10: I appreciate you, and I don't like you, but you
• 20:10
  Speaker 10: told me.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: When I've won that Employee of the Year award last year,
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: I really say, I think the person who because of
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: what you did you push me here?
• 20:26
  Speaker 7: Is Is it true that when you go through a
• 20:29
  Speaker 7: divorce you go through a stage.
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: Of morning you do. Yeah, you definitely agree. You go
• 20:39
  Speaker 5: up and down. In grieving, you definitely go up.
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: And it's the same as when a loved one dies.
• 20:46
  Speaker 5: Because that relationship is dead now. So you gotta agree.
• 20:50
  Speaker 5: You gotta go through each one of those stages. First
• 20:53
  Speaker 5: one is except in the fact that this is no more,
• 20:57
  Speaker 5: and then you get angry at the fact that there
• 21:00
  Speaker 5: is no more.
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: Then you remember the good times and the happy times
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: and you're like, okay, well that was so bad, you know.
• 21:07
  Speaker 5: And then you go back to I really can't stand you.
• 21:11
  Speaker 12: You know, every grieving stage call you and be like, hey, trees,
• 21:22
  Speaker 12: we can't go flat and the tires, and like, I
• 21:24
  Speaker 12: knew what y'all I have wanted the flat tires.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: I knew exactly what the call was. One day we
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: were sitting down there and we were looking at Now.
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: I can't say I went through that part, but you know,
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: because it was like for me, and that's one of
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: the things that that's kind of interfering what I have
• 21:46
  Speaker 4: right now.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: It's like I saw where you wanted to be and
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: I push it, like, oh, you wanted to do this, Okay,
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: here's this person you need to talk to because I
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: brought you into my world. You know what I'm saying.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: And then you turn around and you're gonna use me
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: to get what you have and now you're gonna run
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: in the lord y'all the day that I went to
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: the girl house to serve the papers.
• 22:14
  Speaker 7: Oh you served them yourself.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: You did it because you know you have to go
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: You a divorce in the state of South Carolina. I said, look,
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: if you want a divorce, you gotta divorce me because
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: I'm not paying that money and you're the one who cheated.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: So he went down there and he filed as the defendant.
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: You have to file the response, okay, and then you
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: have to serve the response. Well, I didn't know if
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: you were going to accept it, and when I got
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: it back, it said not accepted. Or then when I
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: had the police officer, the police officer and no one's
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: at the door. Okay, cool, fine, I know why going in.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: So I went to the building and he was messing
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: with two people in the same building. Went to the
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: fourth floor, okay, oh, okay. I went to the tenth floor.
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: When she came to the door, I was like, is
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: he cheating on me? Or Ronald McDonald? Like, this chick
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: does not have all these stuff. I still got the
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: pictures there, all the colored hair in her hand and this.
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: I said, go ahead and call him because I saw
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: his stuff in the in the house. I said, you
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: need to go ahead and call him. I need the
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: people work with you. She's sitting up here shaking because
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: she didn't know. I said, look, I mean you no harm.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: I said, look, I'm just trying to get this going on.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: You didn't your your family members didn't want to deal
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: with me because they already know that they were feeling bad.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: I had several of his family members call him apologize, Well,
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: y'all apologize for y'all didn't do anything. We're still cool.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: Like one of his aunts. She saw me and my
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: daughter and the mall, and she kept him. Oh you
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: know what, I ain't got nothing to do with him,
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: but I'm gonna let you know, BB, you was always welcome. No,
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: I love you, but I gotta love you from this
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: far back. You know what I'm saying.
• 24:09
  Speaker 5: You.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: So, when I gave her the papers, she looked at
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: me like I said, I just need you to say,
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: you know, say that you've gritting these papers. And I
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: have my phone up to see the stay on the
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: recording you getting these papers.
• 24:23
  Speaker 7: So she calling him.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: He's like, why are you let her in the house?
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: I said, house, brother, it's an apartment. There are five
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: ball the doors down there. What are you talking about?
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: I said, I just need to go ahead and set
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: these people so we can go ahead and get to started.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: And because of the situation of him lying on all
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: the forms, I'm where I am right now. So I'm tired.
• 24:45
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but you m.
• 24:54
  Speaker 13: You do you want to do you have any idea
• 24:57
  Speaker 13: of why he doesn't want to find I mean sometimes
• 25:00
  Speaker 13: we have an idea of what that cause is, like
• 25:02
  Speaker 13: if he's trying to hold on to you, or what's
• 25:05
  Speaker 13: the sweetheart?
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: If I knew, I would tell you. I just know
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: where he is mm hmm. And like, state wise, you're
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: already remarried. Quote quote I'm gotten to the point and
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: that's exactly what I'm about to do.
• 25:26
  Speaker 4: Run in the other state. What That's a whole nother
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: story for a whole nother day.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: Remember I told you guys that the second marriage was
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: to my best friend So that's why I so much
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: because it was my best friend.
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: Going to Jack.
• 25:54
  Speaker 14: Why, I mean that's big.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: He going to day, you know and going on and
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: me now speaking and talking and in the relationship that
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: I'm in. H it was Nancy. We had some knockout,
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: drag out conversations because there was a residence. There was
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: that that you know. Now, that is one of the
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: things that he was trying to get alimony and stuff
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: out of me because but.
• 26:41
  Speaker 5: See he can't get it. Y'all weren't even married for
• 26:43
  Speaker 5: ten years.
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: Right, you got to have a basis signing, Uh huh,
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: you got to have But see, you know.
• 26:54
  Speaker 5: He's let him be stupid. He can't even get sparse
• 26:57
  Speaker 5: and support because y'all wasn't even together for a year.
• 26:59
  Speaker 10: So that's well and void too.
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: He didn't do his research like he was supposed to.
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: If he was doing his research and he'd have done
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: what he was supposed to, he'd have been able to
• 27:11
  Speaker 4: elaborate and give a little something. But see, he ain't
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: smart enough to do that.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: You stop talking. He might be looking at the shoe
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: getting point.
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: Well, he ain't gonna get him because it's too late now,
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: y'all been separated.
• 27:26
  Speaker 5: He he already.
• 27:28
  Speaker 11: Remarried, so he don't he don't screw the step.
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: Somebody you might get some points, of course, but little
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: stupid he ain't got none.
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: He already on his ship.
• 27:40
  Speaker 10: Don't sail so well, stupid, don't say we're gonna call.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: The crazy thing about it is. And another reason why
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: it hurts so hard because I help you get your LLC,
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: I help you publish your book. I put you in
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: connection to people to get your book published, and I
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: supported you in so many way forms of fashion. Y'all.
• 28:16
  Speaker 5: Let me, let me, let me jump back in here again.
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: You said he married your best friend, that that was
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: a friend, that wasn't even a friend, that was a
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: snake in disguise.
• 28:25
  Speaker 5: She was already fought and against what you had, and
• 28:30
  Speaker 5: she waited for the opportunity, and she told.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: Her tribute a whole lot. He was my best friend, he.
• 28:41
  Speaker 5: Was your best friend. Okay, we'll see whoever he married.
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: They've been knowing they had some stuff going on too.
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: So he was already looking around then.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: Go and the way it was maneuvering, and the way
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: that things were moved maneuvering, and how things going. Little
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: did he know that everything you came with you left
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: mum hm.
• 29:08
  Speaker 5: See that's why you can't get none. He had a
• 29:10
  Speaker 5: little stupid ain't gonna prosper.
• 29:11
  Speaker 11: It's okay, letting.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: Be, But to be totally honest, I hope that you
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: do prosper because I will.
• 29:24
  Speaker 4: But he could the beast that you needed and the
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: time that you needed them.
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: And that's the thing I thank you because when my
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: mother died, I was able to pry on your shoulder.
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: You will me laugh.
• 29:39
  Speaker 5: You served the purpose that he was supposed to serve exactly.
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: But I was when the friend told you to go
• 29:48
  Speaker 4: and wash your face. Like I told you, The hardest
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: thing for me was to do that self inventory. And
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: I still do that. So people don't understand just how
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: powerful that is and how healing that is.
• 29:59
  Speaker 5: You don't.
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: I don't want to look at yourself, but you have
• 30:02
  Speaker 4: to face yourself in order.
• 30:04
  Speaker 5: To get through everything that.
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: You're going through. And I still do the self inventory
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: every three to six months. I do it for myself
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: to see where I still need growth at, like this
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: job right now be testing my patience. And I'm telling you, girl,
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: I had to say a prayer this morning and I
• 30:22
  Speaker 4: had to come home a little early from work today
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: because I.
• 30:26
  Speaker 5: Ain't feel good.
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: When I don't feel good, I'm real irritable and I
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: already know, so it's like, God, I ain't there, So
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: I got to work on because.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: I just wish that we as a woman and this
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: is mainly for myself that I wasn't and I am
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: still hard on myself. Uh huh, And I think that
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: might be a part of this journey when you think
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: about it, is that being hard on yourself to make
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: it sure that you're not making the same mistakes again.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: But what that even means said, you can't pull others
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: accountable for what you've been through. And that's where I
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: am right now, and.
• 31:12
  Speaker 5: I have, yes last a.
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: Couple of weeks and a couple of months, and also
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: since my mom has been gone, and that is we
• 31:24
  Speaker 4: don't have trust issues with our future. We have trust
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: issues with our past, but our future are the ones
• 31:31
  Speaker 4: who pay the price for it. And when I say that,
• 31:36
  Speaker 4: it's like, Okay, I'm not have the person that I'm with.
• 31:42
  Speaker 4: They can't be blamed for what happened to me in
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: my past, so you can't. I can't say I don't
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: trust you when You've done nothing to make me not
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: trust you.
• 31:53
  Speaker 5: What you Yeah, it's like with my future. I have
• 32:01
  Speaker 5: trust issues with my past.
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: And when I can get rid of what I'm dealing
• 32:05
  Speaker 4: with and recognize this person didn't hurt me, they're not
• 32:08
  Speaker 4: here to do so. So I have to forgive myself
• 32:12
  Speaker 4: for allowing what happened, but knowing that my future is
• 32:16
  Speaker 4: brighter and it's better because I'm able to recognize, Hey, listen, this.
• 32:22
  Speaker 5: Is a trauma thing.
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: Like I just had a conversation with my friend the
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: other night and it was about communication, and it was this,
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: both of us don't like We don't like to have confrontations.
• 32:35
  Speaker 4: We don't like to argue. We read a space in
• 32:37
  Speaker 4: our lives where we're too old to be arguing. However,
• 32:40
  Speaker 4: instead of us actually having the conversation, we just avoid
• 32:45
  Speaker 4: it at all costs until we had no other choice
• 32:48
  Speaker 4: but to have the conversation. And when we had the conversation,
• 32:53
  Speaker 4: it was like, Okay, I'm not a good communicator. He
• 32:56
  Speaker 4: feels like I am a good communicator.
• 32:58
  Speaker 5: I'm not. It is I ask questions.
• 33:01
  Speaker 4: For clarity and understanding. He asked questions. He avoids questions basically,
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: and it's like, you can't avoid the questions, you know,
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: it just creates a bigger problem. If you answer my question,
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna leave you alone. But if it don't make
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: sense to me, I'm gonna ask you again till I
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: understand it. And so he was like, but you communicate
• 33:21
  Speaker 4: very well, and I'm not good at communicating. No, you're
• 33:24
  Speaker 4: good at avoidance because you don't want to communicate. I
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: don't want to communicate, but I will so that I understand.
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: And so when we had that conversation, that was a
• 33:34
  Speaker 4: better understanding that these are trauma responses that we've had
• 33:39
  Speaker 4: from our past and it has nothing to do with
• 33:41
  Speaker 4: each other. But when we were able to communicate that
• 33:45
  Speaker 4: it got.
• 33:45
  Speaker 5: A little better. Now he knows that I'm a smart ass.
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: I am if you know that I am, and I am,
• 33:59
  Speaker 4: And so you say something to me out of the way,
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: I'm coming right back at.
• 34:04
  Speaker 5: You, you know. And he don't be knowing.
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: I know some days he be wanting to choke me
• 34:09
  Speaker 4: because I'd be looking at him and he'd be looking
• 34:11
  Speaker 4: at me like that's what he want to do.
• 34:13
  Speaker 5: And I'm like, if you're feeling froggy, let me know
• 34:15
  Speaker 5: what you want to do. I mean, because we gonna
• 34:18
  Speaker 5: we're gonna settle this either way. But he just looking
• 34:21
  Speaker 5: at me and be like, you know what I know,
• 34:23
  Speaker 5: Chuck writes phone number.
• 34:25
  Speaker 15: I'll call you.
• 34:27
  Speaker 5: Whatever, sir, do whatever you feel you need to do,
• 34:30
  Speaker 5: and I'm not gonna argue with you about it.
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: But you know.
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: We're the tootal opposite the person I'm speaking to nowhere,
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: I claim up and he's wanting to answer for clarity,
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: and you should what else do you know?
• 34:48
  Speaker 5: That's that's my spirit guy right there. That's that's that's
• 34:51
  Speaker 5: my spirit person.
• 34:52
  Speaker 4: So me and him will get along just fine, and
• 34:55
  Speaker 4: you and him will get along just fine, because y'all it.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: Mean and and it's so true how communication is something
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: communication is very important. We were, like I said, we're
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: the total opposite for you and your friends and you
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: and your husband. Sorry, we he's he comes to me
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: and he says, you know, I'm actually this question for clarity.
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: I'm I'm going to ask questions till I understand, and
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: y'all know what I do. I getting to shut down mode.
• 35:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and that's exactly what he does.
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: God know that gets on his last nerve. But then
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: sometimes I have to when I can't get my words
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: right and I start stuttering, I'm like, you know, I
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: I you go to stuff and it's like it's like
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: I know what I want to see there. It goes
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: I know what I want to say I and I
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: get to shut down, and then we go through a
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: whole y'all. We have gone through hours of Clear's tea,
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: and then the next day we're like, I apologize and
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: how I feel and how I talked to you, But
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: it feels.
• 36:11
  Speaker 5: It's like, Harvey, you need to apologize to me. I
• 36:15
  Speaker 5: need to apologize to you for what.
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: Before I would never apologize and apologize.
• 36:26
  Speaker 4: But you know, I'm not going to apologize if I
• 36:28
  Speaker 4: don't feel like I was wrong now, But if I
• 36:31
  Speaker 4: was wrong, I will apologize now. I've gotten better at that.
• 36:34
  Speaker 4: My mama had to get on me before she passed
• 36:37
  Speaker 4: to tell me, look here, I'm gonna need you to
• 36:39
  Speaker 4: get that together because you sometimes it.
• 36:42
  Speaker 5: Be you and you need to stop.
• 36:44
  Speaker 4: Because I think I was on the phone talking and
• 36:46
  Speaker 4: Tanya and I had said said I couldn't be your
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: friend talking to me like that. I said, well, she
• 36:56
  Speaker 4: asked me the question, what you want me to tell her?
• 36:59
  Speaker 4: Then she I don't know what you need to.
• 37:01
  Speaker 5: Say, you sorry, because you don't need to be talking
• 37:03
  Speaker 5: to her to like that. Now about is that?
• 37:11
  Speaker 7: You know, even though we go through stuff, we always
• 37:15
  Speaker 7: circle back and like you give me space to sit
• 37:18
  Speaker 7: here and maybe cush you out in my head or
• 37:22
  Speaker 7: you've never say anything verbally. You know, we we don't
• 37:26
  Speaker 7: have that type of friendship, you know.
• 37:28
  Speaker 4: But she laid me.
• 37:32
  Speaker 7: You know, I'm going to hud because we're thirty years
• 37:35
  Speaker 7: in this thing, and I'm like, okay, true beat us.
• 37:37
  Speaker 7: So what do I need to do about x y Z.
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: Well, at first you need to did she just do
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: the party movement?
• 37:44
  Speaker 15: Yeah?
• 37:47
  Speaker 7: I mean I'm her I'm her fourth child, I'm the
• 37:51
  Speaker 7: oldest other current, and she treats me as such. You know,
• 38:00
  Speaker 7: this whole process for me has been liberating, to say
• 38:09
  Speaker 7: the least. I I'm here with my son. At first,
• 38:17
  Speaker 7: I felt like, well, maybe you know, he grown, he
• 38:20
  Speaker 7: got his own space. I don't need to be in
• 38:22
  Speaker 7: his space, and I really think he loves having me here.
• 38:27
  Speaker 7: That not to say that I plan to to be
• 38:30
  Speaker 7: here forever, because nah, that ain't what I'm trying to do.
• 38:34
  Speaker 7: But in the meantime between time I'm good, like I mean,
• 38:41
  Speaker 7: And that's why I asked you ladies about the morning period,
• 38:44
  Speaker 7: because I've been separated going on two months and I
• 38:48
  Speaker 7: don't feel sad. I haven't.
• 38:51
  Speaker 9: That's because I haven't separated year in November. And when
• 39:02
  Speaker 9: I tell you it's been a roller coaster.
• 39:06
  Speaker 7: It's been a roller coaster ride.
• 39:08
  Speaker 9: I mean, I mean the first I would say the
• 39:10
  Speaker 9: first six months, not so much. But when I sent
• 39:15
  Speaker 9: him the papers and something in my spirit told me
• 39:18
  Speaker 9: he signed them and sent them off, I.
• 39:21
  Speaker 5: Started to cry and I couldn't understand why.
• 39:24
  Speaker 7: I was crying.
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: And I just was like, what one am I crying?
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: And all I could hear was you grieving? You grieving.
• 39:31
  Speaker 11: I'm like grieving for what?
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: What am I grieving?
• 39:34
  Speaker 9: And one of my other girlfriends was like she had
• 39:37
  Speaker 9: been through this, and she said.
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: Girl, you gotta get that out.
• 39:39
  Speaker 15: You gotta get it out.
• 39:40
  Speaker 9: You said, you're gonna have moments where you won't get
• 39:42
  Speaker 9: it out, and then you will. I just had a
• 39:45
  Speaker 9: moment probably a week ago, where I told him I really.
• 39:51
  Speaker 5: Got to kind of back away and cut you off.
• 39:53
  Speaker 9: But because he's sick, so I feel I feel like
• 39:56
  Speaker 9: a failure because I'm leaving him sick, but I know
• 39:58
  Speaker 9: God told me it was time for me to take
• 40:00
  Speaker 9: care of my myself. My shunt was broke, and I
• 40:03
  Speaker 9: didn't know it because I was busy caring for this man.
• 40:07
  Speaker 5: No idea, no idea how long it was broke.
• 40:10
  Speaker 9: So God said it was time for me to get
• 40:13
  Speaker 9: out and take care of myself. When I tell you
• 40:16
  Speaker 9: that you got my own place, that's when God made
• 40:19
  Speaker 9: me sick to realize the shunt was broken.
• 40:22
  Speaker 7: That was later later, I feel like teaching me how
• 40:28
  Speaker 7: to live on my own because and.
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: You can do it, and I can do it.
• 40:34
  Speaker 5: You can do.
• 40:37
  Speaker 7: Like it's nothing and all.
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: Listen if I ever get married again. We got to
• 40:43
  Speaker 4: live in separate houses because I don't think I can
• 40:45
  Speaker 4: share my space no more.
• 40:48
  Speaker 5: Myself. I ain't listen you.
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: We meet on weekendays. I don't know, but I've been
• 41:07
  Speaker 4: in my space for years now.
• 41:10
  Speaker 5: You know, I don't know how to share the class
• 41:20
  Speaker 5: to go by the house and get in the bed
• 41:22
  Speaker 5: and go to sleep. And he liked, somebody wants to
• 41:25
  Speaker 5: get in the bed and go to sleep.
• 41:27
  Speaker 11: We ain't gotten do too much talking.
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: You know that means, well, see for me, I can't
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: do that because I was when we were sleeping a step.
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: If you're going in the other room, I'm going in
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: there with you. Brother, we're gonna If you sleeping on
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: the floor, I'm sleeping next to you on the floor.
• 41:46
  Speaker 5: I tried that one time, like he made me mad
• 41:48
  Speaker 5: and I went and gotten. I was at my old
• 41:50
  Speaker 5: house and I was like, you know what, you don't
• 41:53
  Speaker 5: piss me off. I'm going to.
• 41:54
  Speaker 11: Sleep on the couch.
• 41:56
  Speaker 5: You know what happened. He came and got me. We
• 42:02
  Speaker 5: don't do that. You mad, You can be mad right
• 42:05
  Speaker 5: next to me.
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: Let me talk about that morning. That morning people period,
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: that grieving period when we first separated. I didn't girl,
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: I was superwoman. I can't stand you. You know when
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: I got my grieving period when I went my cousin
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: to the doctor, right y'all, why I'm coming out the doctor,
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: he coming in with her. It wasn't until I got home,
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: and that was the biggest slap in my face. I said, wow, Wow,
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: And then who the person was, y'all? I can't, I can't.
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: I can't talk with this like he's.
• 42:54
  Speaker 7: Been meant to tell me that he wants me to
• 42:56
  Speaker 7: come back or whatever, and so I've been praying, you know, God,
• 43:00
  Speaker 7: show me where I need to go. You know, if
• 43:02
  Speaker 7: I need to go back, show me that I need
• 43:04
  Speaker 7: to go back. This man's uncle passed away, and normally,
• 43:10
  Speaker 7: anytime somebody passed away in the family or the babies
• 43:13
  Speaker 7: born into the family, I'm there because you know, that's
• 43:17
  Speaker 7: just who I am. But this time I didn't feel
• 43:20
  Speaker 7: the need to go. And his baby mama went and
• 43:25
  Speaker 7: she was a flower girl in the in the the funeral. Yeah,
• 43:32
  Speaker 7: and you know, I had people, well you wasn't there,
• 43:38
  Speaker 7: and she was, so, why why is she there or
• 43:41
  Speaker 7: not you? She's not family, you're the wife. And I
• 43:44
  Speaker 7: was like, what did he tell you? Well, they said,
• 43:50
  Speaker 7: you know, he said you was babysitting. Okay, school has
• 43:54
  Speaker 7: started for Kaelin and she's back in Tennessee.
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry you didn't.
• 44:01
  Speaker 7: It's just it's like, okay, God, I see you. You
• 44:05
  Speaker 7: you have no intentions for me to go back. So
• 44:07
  Speaker 7: at this point I want to be because we started
• 44:10
  Speaker 7: out as friends, like his mom used to take care
• 44:13
  Speaker 7: of my grandma. That's how I met him or whatever.
• 44:17
  Speaker 7: But you know, we've had more bad times than good times.
• 44:21
  Speaker 7: So that's why I was asking about the breathing point,
• 44:23
  Speaker 7: because I don't know if I'll ever reach a grieving point,
• 44:26
  Speaker 7: because you will.
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: You will.
• 44:30
  Speaker 14: Even though you may have had bad time, you're still.
• 44:34
  Speaker 9: Gonna miss a little something about him, a little bit something.
• 44:38
  Speaker 9: I mean, I will say that Mine's my times were
• 44:41
  Speaker 9: bad because they weren't because we started out as friends.
• 44:44
  Speaker 7: You know, I didn't.
• 44:44
  Speaker 5: I didn't leave hating him about him. I don't want
• 44:48
  Speaker 5: nothing to happen to him, but stand it. I mean,
• 44:57
  Speaker 5: I have Well, I'll be honest.
• 44:59
  Speaker 4: I can't say that that I had any times where
• 45:02
  Speaker 4: I grieved mine. I went through a season of loneliness
• 45:06
  Speaker 4: where it's like, okay, am I supposed to you know.
• 45:23
  Speaker 15: That I.
• 45:27
  Speaker 4: That I had a moment of you know, I did
• 45:31
  Speaker 4: go through the season of loneliness because I wouldn't entertain
• 45:34
  Speaker 4: anybody while I was going through that separation. And the
• 45:38
  Speaker 4: first person that I did try to talk to, I
• 45:41
  Speaker 4: told him, you got one opportunity to make me question you,
• 45:45
  Speaker 4: and you cut off and he did and I was
• 45:49
  Speaker 4: like wow, because he was like, but you know, I
• 45:52
  Speaker 4: was with my nigga, go spend the night where you
• 45:54
  Speaker 4: was at because you wasn't here. And I told you,
• 45:58
  Speaker 4: and so then he want to come back and be like, oh, well,
• 46:01
  Speaker 4: you know I missed your birthday.
• 46:04
  Speaker 5: I tried to call you and yeah, I changed my number.
• 46:08
  Speaker 5: And why was you at my house at nine o'clock?
• 46:11
  Speaker 11: You know I don't have mail company after eight?
• 46:13
  Speaker 5: The sun is down. Ain't nothing over here for you. Well,
• 46:17
  Speaker 5: so I just wanted to let you know that I
• 46:18
  Speaker 5: miss you. I was in the neighborhood.
• 46:20
  Speaker 4: Well, sir, I don't know how you got lost in
• 46:23
  Speaker 4: this neighborhood because I wasn't looking for you.
• 46:25
  Speaker 5: So you need to go on back where you was at.
• 46:28
  Speaker 4: Then he wanted to come back two weeks later, thinking
• 46:30
  Speaker 4: I was gonna change my mind, sir, why my dough
• 46:35
  Speaker 4: again after nine o'clock? You know, if we're not talking,
• 46:38
  Speaker 4: we're not dating. There is no mail company in my house.
• 46:41
  Speaker 16: I think, Well, you know, I was just thinking. I said,
• 46:44
  Speaker 16: well said, let me go ahead and do whatever you
• 46:50
  Speaker 16: need to do, but don't miss.
• 46:51
  Speaker 4: Another knock on this dough because the next knock you
• 46:54
  Speaker 4: were gonna get one upside Go ahead, don't come back
• 46:57
  Speaker 4: to the more.
• 47:00
  Speaker 15: This I was.
• 47:03
  Speaker 5: Not. But the sun is down.
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: My relationship.
• 47:30
  Speaker 5: Got close up.
• 47:31
  Speaker 11: It's closed.
• 47:38
  Speaker 4: No business I have one guy tell me talking about,
• 47:42
  Speaker 4: well we grown, and I'm gonna bring my daughter with me.
• 47:45
  Speaker 11: I said, sir, I don't care if you brought God himself.
• 47:47
  Speaker 5: With you, and I don't.
• 47:49
  Speaker 11: And that's eight o'clock, so you and Jesus aren't getting any.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: Well girl with me.
• 48:02
  Speaker 5: It's all right. It's summertime and we grown.
• 48:05
  Speaker 4: I know I'm grown, but you ain't got nothing. And
• 48:09
  Speaker 4: after eight o'clock, sir, y'all.
• 48:11
  Speaker 5: No.
• 48:12
  Speaker 11: I did not break that rule for eight o'clock company until.
• 48:15
  Speaker 4: My kids were literally was in college and my boys
• 48:19
  Speaker 4: both were in high school, and they had to tell
• 48:21
  Speaker 4: me mine, now, look here, if you want to have
• 48:23
  Speaker 4: a company, you can have company now.
• 48:27
  Speaker 5: And I was like, I don't even know if I
• 48:28
  Speaker 5: really want to have company at this.
• 48:30
  Speaker 17: Point, if your separation, you had your kids with you
• 48:41
  Speaker 17: or whatever.
• 48:43
  Speaker 7: Me being here in Deontay's space, if he ain't working,
• 48:47
  Speaker 7: he in Atlanta with his girlfriend. And the first he.
• 48:51
  Speaker 5: Did that, I was like, you went to Atlanta. They
• 49:00
  Speaker 5: started asking me to find the date, and then they glisten.
• 49:04
  Speaker 4: If my kids ever tell y'all the stories, listen, Oh
• 49:08
  Speaker 4: my god, my kids ever, I would get asked and
• 49:12
  Speaker 4: I'd be like I can't go.
• 49:14
  Speaker 5: I gotta do this with my kids. My kids be
• 49:16
  Speaker 5: in the background, talk about you lying, you ain't.
• 49:20
  Speaker 4: Want to do.
• 49:24
  Speaker 7: Week.
• 49:24
  Speaker 11: You gotta go somewhere now, let it go.
• 49:29
  Speaker 5: Oh my god, I'm gonna have to do a show.
• 49:34
  Speaker 5: I was when it came down to that. I have
• 49:37
  Speaker 5: my senior book. Oh my god, I'm I have my
• 49:39
  Speaker 5: senior book out the other day because you know Nate twenty.
• 49:42
  Speaker 4: Two telling him how much gas and stuff was then,
• 49:46
  Speaker 4: and so it's a little slottle page in there.
• 49:49
  Speaker 5: I said, nay, I've always been laying my whole life.
• 49:52
  Speaker 5: I'm a whole body. I don't do nothing. I'm at home.
• 49:56
  Speaker 5: So he talked about the little thing, what did you
• 49:59
  Speaker 5: do for your senior week of your senior year? In
• 50:04
  Speaker 5: my game, it has this.
• 50:06
  Speaker 4: Word I'm gonna have to screenshot it and send it
• 50:09
  Speaker 4: to y'all tonight in the group chat.
• 50:11
  Speaker 5: But it says because so y'all don't think I'm gone.
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: It says.
• 50:17
  Speaker 5: It said I stayed at home and took care of
• 50:19
  Speaker 5: my daughter and I went to the doctor. Only stay.
• 50:22
  Speaker 5: That is what it says that I did my spring
• 50:25
  Speaker 5: break week. Oh god, So when when.
• 50:29
  Speaker 4: I can't tell y'all, I am lame. I am lame
• 50:32
  Speaker 4: from then till now. So they would tell me all
• 50:36
  Speaker 4: the time. You know, you could have went out with
• 50:37
  Speaker 4: that man.
• 50:38
  Speaker 11: No I could.
• 50:40
  Speaker 4: You ain't got no plans, you just been in the house. Well,
• 50:43
  Speaker 4: we're gonna find you a date.
• 50:46
  Speaker 5: That's how I was, just like, I can't do it.
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: I can't you you're young and yang because I'm scared
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: to bring people around because I got the food fledged bodyguard, y'all.
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: I got a twenty two year old when my ex
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: husband right now left came back, and my son is
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: like bodyguard of me.
• 51:11
  Speaker 5: And oh they they still they still strict.
• 51:14
  Speaker 6: Now.
• 51:14
  Speaker 4: It was only certain people they would let come around me.
• 51:17
  Speaker 4: They had to like them. And even if I said, okay,
• 51:21
  Speaker 4: look here, I'm not like even they.
• 51:24
  Speaker 5: Would be at their dad's for the weekend and they'd
• 51:26
  Speaker 5: be like, Ma, what you finna do nothing? You ain't
• 51:28
  Speaker 5: going to like such or something.
• 51:30
  Speaker 4: No, And don't you call them and tell them that
• 51:32
  Speaker 4: I'm at home by myself, because I don't want to
• 51:34
  Speaker 4: be bothering with them, are you? That's why you're going
• 51:38
  Speaker 4: to your daddy, So don't tell nobody I'm at the
• 51:40
  Speaker 4: house by myself.
• 51:41
  Speaker 5: I dog on cal pans.
• 51:45
  Speaker 4: I'll be at home by myself and join the free
• 51:48
  Speaker 4: time and they'd be like, Ma, you did you call
• 51:51
  Speaker 4: such or something?
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: You didn't.
• 51:54
  Speaker 5: Well, that's the jobs that y'all have that I don't have.
• 51:59
  Speaker 5: I don't have any kids, so I'm actually going through.
• 52:01
  Speaker 9: This by myself.
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: I got you, well, she got she got Miss cad she.
• 52:09
  Speaker 5: Wanted to send to me to so you know, Miss Kay.
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: Loving on Aditi.
• 52:12
  Speaker 9: So but it's different for me because I don't have
• 52:18
  Speaker 9: that body God of that protection. So I gotta pray
• 52:20
  Speaker 9: and ask God every direction of what he wants me
• 52:22
  Speaker 9: to do because I don't know what to do next,
• 52:24
  Speaker 9: and I'm afraid. I have a fear that there's a
• 52:27
  Speaker 9: possibility I could be alone for the rest of my life.
• 52:29
  Speaker 9: And I don't want to be alone because I'm not
• 52:31
  Speaker 9: a lone person. But I do like my space now
• 52:34
  Speaker 9: that I haven't only.
• 52:37
  Speaker 5: But I do like it. I like it a long
• 52:41
  Speaker 5: time to make sure that you get to know you
• 52:46
  Speaker 5: enjoy your own company and enjoy your own space. To
• 52:51
  Speaker 5: do that is so that you know that somebody else
• 52:55
  Speaker 5: will enjoy your company too.
• 52:57
  Speaker 4: Because listen, let me tell you something. I can have
• 52:59
  Speaker 4: a good time all by myself and.
• 53:03
  Speaker 5: We don't have a good time too, because that's just
• 53:07
  Speaker 5: you know, but I learned to be by myself.
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: You need to be by yourself because you you ain't
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: gonna find love again and it's not gonna come in
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: the package that you think. Girl, I got to hold
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: up Jesus you sure, But you know, I am.
• 53:25
  Speaker 7: So thankful for with abandonment issues because of being adopted
• 53:30
  Speaker 7: and stuff. So I feel like everybody that take has
• 53:35
  Speaker 7: abandoned me.
• 53:36
  Speaker 5: And you know, my mom, how you look at that?
• 53:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 53:41
  Speaker 5: I have to yeah, yeah, how you look at that?
• 53:46
  Speaker 5: You know?
• 53:46
  Speaker 2: Because I have the disability that nobody loved me.
• 53:50
  Speaker 7: And she was like your own mama gave you away?
• 53:52
  Speaker 7: So you know what does that?
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: So I struggle with that.
• 53:57
  Speaker 9: The opposite part of that is because I don't have
• 53:58
  Speaker 9: the banding part, but I have the am I enough
• 54:02
  Speaker 9: and I enough part where it's like, can I actually
• 54:06
  Speaker 9: be enough for anybody, especially with the spinor best for that?
• 54:09
  Speaker 9: And can they can they accept all of this because.
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: It's not it's a lot, but it's a lot. It's
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: not a lot, yeah, y'all, y'all.
• 54:20
  Speaker 4: There and yeah, understand this like nothing needs to tell
• 54:26
  Speaker 4: me all the time. Number One, I'm a crazy girl.
• 54:31
  Speaker 4: I got a big butt, big boots.
• 54:33
  Speaker 5: I'm just curvy all the way around. I've always had
• 54:36
  Speaker 5: these things. Family, Well, why you so high? Why is this?
• 54:41
  Speaker 5: I ain't got nothing to do with that. Take that
• 54:43
  Speaker 5: over with God because he created me this way. Got
• 54:45
  Speaker 5: none to do with that, you know. Take that up there.
• 54:48
  Speaker 4: And so I had to learn as I got older
• 54:51
  Speaker 4: to embrace what I had, you know, and people going
• 54:56
  Speaker 4: to pay money for this, but I got now I've
• 54:58
  Speaker 4: been blessed with in my whole life.
• 55:00
  Speaker 5: Like y'all going to buy it one, it ain't all
• 55:03
  Speaker 5: this cracked up to be.
• 55:05
  Speaker 15: It is not.
• 55:08
  Speaker 5: You got to be able to have the stuff to
• 55:10
  Speaker 5: support this kind of stuff. If you ain't gone to
• 55:12
  Speaker 5: stuff supported, it don't look right, you know no more.
• 55:18
  Speaker 4: When I'm telling you gotta learn to love and tell
• 55:21
  Speaker 4: yourself every day when him enough. I'm more than enough.
• 55:25
  Speaker 4: I always have been enough. God created me in the
• 55:28
  Speaker 4: space and which he said that I was perfect in
• 55:30
  Speaker 4: his image. So nothing else that anybody else ever says
• 55:34
  Speaker 4: it's never gonna be enough to them. The light that
• 55:36
  Speaker 4: He's created inside of you. So you love you for
• 55:39
  Speaker 4: everything that you have freckles, No freckles, I got extra
• 55:43
  Speaker 4: fingers handing. People just be like, well what I'm who
• 55:47
  Speaker 4: God created me to be. Either you like it or
• 55:49
  Speaker 4: your don't. And either way, I don't care because I
• 55:52
  Speaker 4: like me and I love me. I'm gonna love me tomorrow.
• 55:55
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna love me tonight. I'm gonna love me next weekend,
• 55:58
  Speaker 4: next year too.
• 55:59
  Speaker 5: It don't matter.
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: You like me, you can me too.
• 56:01
  Speaker 5: I don't care because with me, that's your personal problem.
• 56:05
  Speaker 5: So you take that on what you said, go have problem.
• 56:10
  Speaker 9: During this process of being alone, I feel like God
• 56:12
  Speaker 9: has really been pushing me, pulling me aside and telling me, okay.
• 56:21
  Speaker 4: Lawever, that season ofction is no joke and it is
• 56:25
  Speaker 4: not for the week.
• 56:26
  Speaker 5: I promise you that.
• 56:33
  Speaker 7: Put you in your Yeah, I'm sitting here in this apartment.
• 56:37
  Speaker 7: You know Deonte's in Atlanta. Did he had the audacity
• 56:41
  Speaker 7: to go to Myrtle Beach? So I had?
• 56:45
  Speaker 9: I took a little more three four day vacation, y'all.
• 57:00
  Speaker 5: I couldn't hit my daughter.
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: You give.
• 57:07
  Speaker 5: Miss you, I said, somebody miss me.
• 57:20
  Speaker 2: But I get it.
• 57:21
  Speaker 7: It's like it's being it's for me. People to enjoy
• 57:26
  Speaker 7: my own I mean, I want too much to enjoy
• 57:31
  Speaker 7: my own company.
• 57:34
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 57:35
  Speaker 7: That's the only deason that I have a problem with.
• 57:37
  Speaker 7: I talked entirely too much. And then when I think
• 57:40
  Speaker 7: about y'all, all my friends, y'all are work. Can't call
• 57:44
  Speaker 7: y'all because all it works, and I can't talk to.
• 57:51
  Speaker 11: That'll have you and she's back, Hey, baby.
• 57:58
  Speaker 5: You can talk to you. I talk to him all
• 58:01
  Speaker 5: day long throughout this house.
• 58:02
  Speaker 2: I don't care if people think I'm crazy. She's down
• 58:03
  Speaker 2: there talking.
• 58:04
  Speaker 5: No, she ain't talking to herself. You know what you're
• 58:05
  Speaker 5: talking to.
• 58:06
  Speaker 9: She talks to her father and he talking back to her.
• 58:08
  Speaker 9: So now way, But I don't care. My daddy know
• 58:12
  Speaker 9: I'm not crazy.
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: Time for you to see yourself, it's that time. Yeah,
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: definitely taking the joy experience because I'm telling you, this
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: is gonna be some leady, It's gonna get real.
• 58:33
  Speaker 9: Yeah, it's interesting. But you have your tribes, so you
• 58:39
  Speaker 9: can lean on your tribe, because that's what I have.
• 58:41
  Speaker 9: I don't have kids, but I have my tribe, and
• 58:43
  Speaker 9: I can call or text anybody I need to anytime
• 58:46
  Speaker 9: of the day and be.
• 58:47
  Speaker 2: Like, listen, y'all, I'm struggling.
• 58:49
  Speaker 9: I had a girlfriend when I was prying last week.
• 58:51
  Speaker 9: She was like, girl, you grieving, let it out, Let
• 58:53
  Speaker 9: it out, let it out, and I'm just ball. I
• 58:55
  Speaker 9: just started crying harder because I just couldn't believe I
• 58:59
  Speaker 9: was actually.
• 58:59
  Speaker 5: Crying one and then I was like freaking out that
• 59:03
  Speaker 5: I was flying.
• 59:04
  Speaker 9: But she was like, you got to get that out.
• 59:05
  Speaker 9: You got to get it out. She said, you are healing. Heal,
• 59:08
  Speaker 9: heal girl, hell and it helps. So you got to
• 59:11
  Speaker 9: lean on your drive.
• 59:12
  Speaker 5: Whoever it is.
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: Girl, I got you, Tarita got you.
• 59:15
  Speaker 5: We all got you, little, we all got you.
• 59:17
  Speaker 7: I think for me, you know, dealing with the issues
• 59:23
  Speaker 7: and everything that comes along with that, that's that's my main.
• 59:28
  Speaker 7: Like this, like then, came home late last night. I
• 59:32
  Speaker 7: was going to phone. He said, hey Mom, good night,
• 59:38
  Speaker 7: and wut.
• 59:39
  Speaker 12: The door and I was.
• 59:43
  Speaker 2: Like, yes, if something go down, I can go in up.
• 59:47
  Speaker 7: Not going to go proper, and because this is his stuff, I'm.
• 59:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm not going.
• 59:58
  Speaker 7: But you know, just learning to move has the things
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 7: that was told to me. I'm not worthy, I'm not enough.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 7: You got a disability. I know I got a disability.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 7: I deal with it daily and than you do moving forward,
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 7: because I do. I do want to date. I do
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 7: want to be somebody's wife in the future because I
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 7: feel like I deserve that. I always leave with I
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 7: have a disability. I got X y Z going on,
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 7: and I tell people for the simple fact of my
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 7: My husband said to me, well, no, he said to
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 7: his mom that had he known I had all of
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 7: this going on, he wouldn't have gotten with me. Now,
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 7: the part that hurt me the most, other than her
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 7: telling my mom and my mom telling me, when I
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 7: brought it back to him and I said, well, yo,
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 7: Mama told my mama that you said that if you
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 7: had known I had all this going on, that you
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 7: wouldn't have got with me. And instead of saying I
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 7: at that point, I would have accepted a lot. And
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 7: instead of him saying I didn't say it, he said, dang,
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 7: I can't tell my mama nothing.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, I have a ready, I'm sorry.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 7: I'm like, so that is truly how you feel. And
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 7: you know, I'm like, I I refuse to bleed on
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 7: somebody that didn't cut me. So in my healing, I'm
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 7: learning that not everybody thinks like my husband. You know,
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 7: people that there is somebody out there for me that
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 7: will be able to accept everything that comes along with
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 7: spinal difference and not call me a hundred because I'm
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 7: in pain. And that's another thing that I You know,
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 7: I've dealt with so much negativity dealing with this marriage
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 7: and it's been twenty two years, and my abandonment issues
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 7: wouldn't let me live like le I stayed because it
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 7: was comfortable and it's what I knew. We got married
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 7: when I was twenty three. I'm forty five, and so
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 7: you know, trying to start over now at forty.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 2: Five is just let me tell you something right now.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 2: And I just had this competition last night. Don't have
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 2: to think that, and at first it took men.
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 5: Don't have to think do that to me tonight.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 2: You can't think that because I was thinking that. I
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 2: even called myself. I can't even remember the word. I
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 2: think I said, damage goods. You can't think that. You
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 2: can't because what you're gonna do is push away the
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 2: person that's supposed to be in that spot. So I'm
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: telling you, and I just had this conversation freaking last night, Yo,
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: don't do it. Don't do it because there's gonna be
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 2: somebody except you. For everything that you have, everything that
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: you went through, everything the flaws that you see, You're
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: gonna there's gonna be some person that's gonna embrace all
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: of that and it won't be a lie, it won't
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 2: be fake. It's gonna be so true, and it's gonna
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: tell you gonna run when you really see, like, Yo,
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: this is true. Your first inkling gonna be the brunt. Okay,
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 2: but if that person loves you, they gonna keep telling
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: you until you get it through your.
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 2: Had this conversation last night. I don't need to bring
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 2: nobody down, but.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 4: Y'all, every time, there's always God in the midst of
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 4: everything that we say and what we do. And it
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 4: wasn't by coincidence. It was all by God's plan and
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 4: God's design. Everything that we've talked about that we've touched
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 4: on has been necessary and needed.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 5: Someone else needed to hear all of this because you
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 5: know that.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 4: Just because somebody says that it ain't something, God always
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 4: has the first and final say. He had the first
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 4: day from the beginning, and we've let other people get
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 4: into the space that he created, only for him to
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 4: know that we've always been enough, we will always be enough.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 4: And He connects us to the people that we need
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 4: in the time for the season that they're supposed to
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 4: be there. And sometimes we hold on to people for
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 4: longer seasons than what they're supposed to be with us.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 4: And we got to learn to let go when God
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 4: is telling us to let go, because he will make
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 4: it so difficult that we have no other choice but
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 4: to let go. And so we understand that when God
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 4: is trying to take you away from whatever it is,
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 4: understand you pray that prayer, God, what is it that
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 4: I'm supposed to be doing in this moment, in this season,
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 4: Take me away from those people who are not of
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 4: you and who do not serve the purpose that you
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 4: have for me. And when we are able to listen
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 4: completely and without any hindrance of personal feeling and understand
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 4: that God is speaking, that is when you will move
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 4: and you will let go and you will not be
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 4: harmed by any of that. But you gotta be willing
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 4: to listen and hear God. And sometimes you got to
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 4: be in a season of isolation. You gotta be in
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 4: a space to where you're completely still when the only
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 4: voice you hear is his and he is alone, and
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 4: when you hear from him, you will know that it
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 4: is nobody else but God talking to you.
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 5: Yes, that's where you.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 2: Are ready, that will be exactly where.
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 5: I'm at now. That's exactly where where I.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 2: Can clearly hear everything he wants to say to me.
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 9: I mean clear, as clear as when he told me
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 9: it was over.
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 5: He told me, was as clear as I prayed. And
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 5: that's God.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 4: I said, God, if this is not where you want
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 4: me to be, you got to make a way for
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 4: me to get out of here. And when I tell you,
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 4: he made a way because I didn't have money, I
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 4: didn't have a place, I didn't have anything, but he
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 4: put everybody in place that I need to make sure
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 4: and if you get me out of this situation, God,
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 4: I won't look back.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 5: And when I tell you, I have not looked back.
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 5: I have not even had a second.
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 4: Thought about going back, because God made it so for
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 4: me to get out and I'm not gonna go against
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 4: what he told me to do by backtracking just because.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 5: It looked good, it sounded good.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 4: And it's still people that still don't know that we're
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 4: not together and I ain't been together with him and
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 4: my son twenty two.
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 11: My baby is twenty two.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 4: So look, it's been probably sixteen seventeen years, Almo. It's
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 4: like God made it so that we're not together. I
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 4: don't look back on it. I don't think about it
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 4: because it's not for me. I did what I was
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 4: supposed to do. He gave me three breed, beautiful kids
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 4: that something nobody else will ever be able to do.
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 4: And I'm grateful for that, and I'm grateful for my children.
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 4: I'm grateful for us being able to create them together. Now,
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 4: are we in a space to where we can actually
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 4: cordially talk to each other, Yes, because ultimately he still
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 4: is my friend, but that's as far as it goes.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 4: I don't even look at him in the same capacity,
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 4: you know, But we can have a conversation now, whereas before,
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 4: if he in the same room, i'mian, I'm going out
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 4: the other way because I don't have none to talk
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 4: to you about.
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 5: And the other thing is like.
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 4: He don't even have my phone number, Like as soon
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 4: as our kids were able to get a cell phone
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 4: for themselves.
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 5: Oh no, you don't need my phone number. No more.
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 5: You ain't gonna talk to the sunshine because I don't
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 5: want to know.
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 11: I can look out my own.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 5: Dough and see if the sun's shine.
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 11: Sir, we ain't got nothing else to talk about.
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 5: We ain't got enough base or whatever. You know.
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 4: I'm I'm not gonna be mad at you. I'm not Fela,
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 4: you know whatever. But he has another child outside of.
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 5: The three that we have together.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 4: Now that child be begging to come to my house.
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 4: I didn't birth this baby. I did not birth this baby.
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 4: But at the end of the day, he's my child too,
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 4: you know, because he son, he be here like I
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 4: birthed him himself. You know, he just mine and I
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 4: treat him as such, and I have since the day
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 4: he was born. And I'm not gonna treat him any differently.
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 4: And their dad asked me talking about what did you
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 4: do to my son. I didn't do nothing to your son,
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 4: but treat him like he mine.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 5: You know, I love this as much.
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 4: I did not birth him, but that doesn't mean that
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 4: he's not mine. And he loves to be here for
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 4: that particular reason. And if I ever made him feel uncomfortable,
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 4: he would.
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 5: Not want to be in my house. You know.
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 4: One of his kids, the son would come to my
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 4: house and he would beg to come back. Look, hell, nah,
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 4: I don't know why all these kids, Like I say, God,
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 4: it's God's playing God's design. I have more kids than
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 4: our birth I got more adopted kids than our birth
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 4: you know. And I meet a new kid and they
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 4: just gravitate to me.
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 5: I don't know why.
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 4: Now, some of them when they small, I know why
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 4: because they think we're the same size, from the same
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 4: age and everything.
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 5: But that's not the case.
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry, you were streaking your water. I'm sorry. I
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 4: didn't mean to make you fit it out. I'm sorry,
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 4: but I'm just being honest. That's just what happens.
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 5: That's what they do. They just gravitate to me, and
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 5: I just I go with it.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: I can relate, understand, I got you. I can relate.
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 5: To make me spend your water out. I'm just speaking.
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 7: You know, her house one time I ain't got with her,
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 7: and I've seen about six or seven kids come out
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 7: of her son's room, and.
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 11: I'm like, where these kids come from?
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 7: Why are they comfortable? Because they ain't have no shoes.
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 5: I mean, I'm like, at half of them would come
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 5: at dinner time. They be coming. Miss Harrison's going to
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 5: cook today. What you're cooking today? Baby, I ain't. I'm
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 5: not cooking you. Why are you not cooking?
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 2: Because I don't.
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 5: Want to go home? They cook it.
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 2: Not to put my name in your part, you said again,
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 2: put my name in your part.
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 7: Hour one hour and eleven minutes. But listen, I.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 8: Think if we have a need to do a part three,
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 8: you know, the fabulous Poe is coming back and maybe jump.
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 5: On to.
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 7: You know, the Fantastic five.
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 9: Can I say thank you for what you said tonight
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 9: because I really needed that.
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 2: I really needed that.
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 5: Thank you, Yeah, thank you?
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 2: I needed that.
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, healing mommy. Yeah, I'll keep hearing that.
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 5: It was a good good still standing by Monica.
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 7: Yes, a whole lot.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 5: Of going everything is saying.
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 18: Something medio stand stead marry, don't.
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 2: Take a song and.
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 15: Sir and.
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 2: I can't.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 5: The sound page, can't way.
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 11: Stuff and the white and gay to tell you how
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 11: it was supposed to be.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 5: Just the sounds to me, like.
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 15: I know, said, steady, that's going on.
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 9: They got it, y'all gotta get.
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 5: Live going on it tonight, gotta get that right up.
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 15: Wow.
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 7: I think, oh so much for contributing to this conversation
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 7: and I prayed that somebody somewhere heard something that you know,
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 7: touched their hearts in a way that it needed to.
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 7: I'm just grateful for the friendship because I do know
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 7: that I have somebody on all leaning sides, and I
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 7: love you guys for it, and.
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 5: We love you.
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 7: I'm think about that. I'm gon tabida, do mess me up,
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 7: So lit Man hit them with your your otro. What
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 7: you say when you.
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 4: All listen, I'm gonna tell y'all like this because this
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 4: is what God says. Stay out of God's business and
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 4: the only thing he needs you to do is be
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 4: obedient to what He's caused you to do.
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 5: Because God is God all by himself. He don't need
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 5: no help from you.
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 7: Do what you do, and thank you all for coming out.
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 7: God bless you tonight.
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 2: All things ain't what thing.
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 3: Where all the blue Sky's boys
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 2: Thump the north Something