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Transcript

Why Friends With Benefits Is Breaking Women’s Hearts (A Christian Dating Truth No One Talks About) · Girl, Date the Good Guy ™ | Healing After Heartbreak & A Toxic Relationship

• 0:00
  Let me say this plainly, because clarity is kindness.
• 0:04
  Friends with benefits is not freedom. It is bondage dressed up as empowerment.
• 0:10
  And I know this because I lived it.
• 0:13
  Before Christ, I was a casual dater. I was an intimacy seeker.
• 0:18
  I told myself I was chill, modern, open-minded.
• 0:22
  But what I was really doing was feeding my flesh while starving my spirit.
• 0:28
  If you're done chasing broken love, empty promises, and lukewarm men,
• 0:33
  and you're finally ready to reclaim your crown, heal your heart,
• 0:36
  and attract the God-led love you were always meant for, you're in the right place.
• 0:41
  Hi, I'm Emily Jordan, your faith-based healed feminine guide and relationship coach.
• 0:47
  I went from repeating the same heartbreaking cycles to experiencing a godly,
• 0:52
  healthy, aligned love. And now I help women just like you heal,
• 0:57
  rise, and prepare for God's very best.
• 1:00
  So, are you ready to begin your royal training?
• 1:03
  Grab your crown, your heart, and your journal. Your royal transformation begins now.
• 1:13
  Hey sis, welcome back to another episode of Girl Date the Good Guy.
• 1:18
  I am so excited that you are here.
• 1:20
  We are talking about a subject that needs to come to the forefront.
• 1:26
  Friends with benefits. Listen, I, I was that girl.
• 1:31
  I did that. I walked that path. And let me tell you something,
• 1:35
  that is an empty, empty place to be.
• 1:39
  Because every time you engage in casual intimacy without covenant,
• 1:44
  you are participating in something God never designed to heal you.
• 1:49
  Sex was never meant to be casual. It was created to bind, not to be sampled,
• 1:55
  to cover, not to confuse, to secure, not to stimulate and abandon.
• 2:02
  When you sleep with someone, you are not just sharing a body.
• 2:06
  You are forming a spiritual and emotional bond, whether you believe it or not.
• 2:11
  And here's the part no one wants to tell you.
• 2:14
  Every person they've been with now leaves a residue on you. That's why it's called a soul tie.
• 2:22
  And soul ties that aren't formed in covenant don't bring closeness.
• 2:27
  They bring fragmentation. And I'm sorry right now if some of you are feeling
• 2:33
  convicted, but let this fall on you because this is God's grace.
• 2:39
  He is not judging you in this space.
• 2:41
  In fact, he wants to pull you out of it because it's a lie from the pit of hell to keep you in bondage.
• 2:48
  And today I'm letting my little firecracker side come out.
• 2:52
  When i'm passionate about something i will
• 2:55
  stand up and i will speak very loudly because
• 2:58
  i feel compelled to let each of one of you know that the way the world sees
• 3:05
  connections and relationships is wrong and i'm telling you this because this
• 3:11
  pattern is especially destructive if you have an anxious attachment style.
• 3:17
  Friends with benefits promises connection, but delivers inconsistency.
• 3:21
  It promises closeness, but reinforces abandonment.
• 3:26
  It tells your nervous system, stay available, but don't expect safety.
• 3:32
  And over time, you don't just feel anxious about them.
• 3:36
  You become disconnected from yourself and distant from God.
• 3:41
  Why? Because your spirit knows this isn't how I was designed to be loved.
• 3:47
  And I want to say this. I am not here to judge you.
• 3:50
  I am here to bring clarity to your life so you may see truth and to be able
• 3:57
  to set yourself free from the lies that this world tries to tell us.
• 4:03
  So this is where I'm going to be very bold.
• 4:06
  The enemy loves friends with benefits. Why? Because it keeps women emotionally
• 4:12
  bonded but spiritually empty.
• 4:15
  Normalizes being used while calling it mutual, trains you to accept crumbs instead
• 4:21
  of covenant, and keeps you in cycles instead of healing.
• 4:26
  This is a tactic of distortion.
• 4:28
  The world calls it dating.
• 4:30
  God calls it misalignment. And sis, confused people cannot teach you how to live free.
• 4:37
  Let me explain why this will never bring healing.
• 4:41
  Look at what culture glorifies.
• 4:43
  Shows like Emily in Paris make casual sex look glamorous, spontaneous, empowering.
• 4:49
  But notice the pattern. Emily gives her body, her heart, her vulnerability,
• 4:53
  and ends up hurt every single time. Why?
• 4:57
  Because giving your soul away casually always costs you something.
• 5:02
  You don't walk away empowered. You walk away emptier, more confused,
• 5:07
  more detached, more ashamed, whether you admit it or not.
• 5:11
  God wasn't trying to restrict you when he set boundaries.
• 5:16
  He was trying to protect you because sin doesn't just break rules. It rots identity.
• 5:23
  So here's the lie versus the truth.
• 5:25
  The lie. This is all I can get right now. At least I'm not alone.
• 5:31
  This is normal. Everyone's doing it. But here's the truth. What you crave is real connection.
• 5:38
  Something with roots. Something safe. Something secure. You don't want casual access.
• 5:46
  You want chosen commitment. And no, there is no lasting joy in being used consensually.
• 5:54
  There is no peace in pretending you're okay with what is breaking you.
• 5:57
  You were never designed to lie down with dysfunction and call it love.
• 6:01
  You were called to guard your heart,
• 6:04
  not hand it over to someone with no intention of stewarding it well.
• 6:08
  And yes, I'm fired up today. Please excuse me.
• 6:11
  So if you want true healing, true love, true restoration, this is what you need to do.
• 6:18
  You do not need another situationship. You do not need more experience.
• 6:24
  Sis, I can't say it more clearly. You need Jesus.
• 6:29
  He's the only one who can break toxic cycles, heal soul wounds,
• 6:36
  restore your identity, teach you how to love without losing yourself.
• 6:41
  Friends with benefits is one of the cycles he wants to set you free from.
• 6:45
  Not to shame you, not to condemn you, but to restore you.
• 6:51
  I did all of this, sis. I tried what the world said would bring me joy and happiness.
• 6:58
  And there is nothing in this world that ever will bring you that kind of lasting
• 7:04
  joy and happiness but the Father in heaven who created you.
• 7:08
  I can't express this enough. I remember lying in the bed after nights of just
• 7:15
  casual sex that never brought me lasting joy and happiness.
• 7:20
  It brought me to my knees because I was tired of feeling the heartbreak.
• 7:26
  And I want this very same thing for you.
• 7:29
  I want you to be set free.
• 7:32
  So sis, you gotta stop believing the lie that you have to be accessible to be chosen.
• 7:38
  You are not desperate. You are deserving. You are not asking for too much.
• 7:43
  You are asking for what God designed for you.
• 7:47
  Set yourself free. Walk this thing out.
• 7:50
  Reclaim your crown. Come back to your father, your first love.
• 7:55
  Because casual love is not love at all.
• 8:00
  And covenant is still God's best. And once you taste alignment,
• 8:06
  you'll never crave confusion again.
• 8:10
  Sis, you did that. You showed up for your healing, and that is royal energy.
• 8:16
  If this episode challenged you, grew you, or called you higher,
• 8:19
  share it with another sister who's ready to reclaim her crown too.
• 8:23
  And if you've got 30 seconds, it would bless me big if you'd leave a review on Apple Podcast.
• 8:28
  It helps more women step into their royal identity and join the Good Guy system. movement.
• 8:34
  Until next time, keep your crown on, your standard tie, and your heart in royal alignment.