Latest / DA CREW Podcast / SEASON 2 DA CREW PODCAST_EPISODE _63 _ HOST TRIVEDA HARRIS

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SEASON 2 DA CREW PODCAST_EPISODE _63 _ HOST TRIVEDA HARRIS · DA CREW Podcast

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to help someone else. Ah where all the skys but boys, the bloats
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from the Lord and something sleep on pursing her sister, all things and what
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they used to be. No, I can't please cleet, sweet sweet sweet,
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you want sweet sweet Good evening and welcome to Believe in the Journey podcast
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where I'm your host, Trevida Harris. And to all of the mothers,
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I want to say Happy Mother's Day and thank you for taking the time to
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end to tonight's show before we do anything, you know, I always have
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to go to God in prayer. Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for bringing
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us together as you do each and every Sunday that we come together. Please
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let the words of my mouth be comforting to the ears that are listening tonight.
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Those who are celebrating Mother's Day, like myself, without their mother for
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the first time, Please give them the comfort that they need to get through
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this day. We know that you love us more than anything else, and
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you loved your children best, which is why you brought them home. And
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your precious and holy name Jesus, we pray Amen tonight. I have a
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husband and wife who are here with me, and they're gonna talk about how
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they fought their battles with Jesus. But I'm gonna give you a brief little
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introduction of mister and missus Mick and Timmy Tammy Simmons. They our husband and
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wife team from Eastern Kentucky and there the founders are free at Last Ministries.
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They committed their lives to Jesus Christ in the year two thousand and since then
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they have served in youth ministries and teaching the Word of God. They specialized
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specialized in spiritual warfare and the deliverance of ministry. Their hearts desire is to
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help people grow and be all that they can be in the Kingdom of God.
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So please welcome my guests, Mick and Tammy Simmons. Hello, Hello,
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listen. You know, as I told y'all before we even got started,
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that the technical difficulties are gonna happen, and that's what happened. So
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I'm using my phone again, like it was fine, just having a little
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conversation, and then all of a sudden, like I could not even type
6:57
to respond to you guys, like it would not do anything, like it
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completely locked up. But that's Nonetheless, we're still gonna do what God has
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called us to do tonight, and we are going to share your journey and
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I almost share a little bit about mine, and also my asthma's trying to
7:15
get involved too, so I've had to use my hailer while we were getting
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through this technical difficulties. But we will not be defeated because God has the
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final say. The devil has no place. So then all right, tell
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me a little bit about you guys. You know, I read your introduction,
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but I want you to introduce yourselves to the audience as well. Well.
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First of all, we want to thank you for this opportunity to be
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a part of your podcast. It's our very first one that we're actually we're
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on the other side of the interview. Yeah, well, thank you guys
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for accepting my invite to be on the show, and I'm honored to be
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your first host. I guess yeah, yeah. But going back the way
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that I was introduced to spiritual warfare as a child growing up in eastern Kentucky,
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I was a product of bullying and a small town. Back when I
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was a child, there wasn't very many things to entertain yourself, so being
8:26
bullied in school during the weekends and things, we would always watch scary movies,
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and scary movies always have things to do with the occult and witchcraft and
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all that stuff. My parents never really did and go to church a lot.
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But one thing that I really want to encourage from grandmothers, and I
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can honestly say that I know I'm here today because of the prayers of my
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grandmothers. On one side, I had an old fa Baptist grandmother that I
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mean, she was hardcore. And on the other side, I had a
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firewalking Pennycostal. You know, so I had the best of both worlds forget
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and but going through all that at first, it's like always as a child,
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I always knew there was a God because, like you know, I
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was an only child. So when I would go outside to play by myself,
9:30
it's like I would find myself a lot looking into the heavens talking to
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God. And I know it sounds crazy to the world, but sometimes I
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felt like He talked back to me, and he definitely answers you back,
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and that's when you know that you're talking to God. And but when I
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went through the bullying process, you know, I started to question everything,
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and you know, with the with the entertainment choices I had grown went up
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as a child, I actually turned to the other side. I got involved
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in playing with the Ouija boards, and I was because in my heart,
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I kind of felt like God wasn't He didn't wrap my back, and it's
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like kind of like the woe is me? Like where are you God,
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and like you're and all this. But yeah, so it's like, well,
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I thought, well, I know what I'll do, like any brad
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child will do, they start to reveal It's like well, I'll just go
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play a weija board and you know, you know, see what I can
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get dead on the other side. And and and the weird thing was,
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it's like, you know, the Bible says that there is pleasure in sin
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for a season, and in a period of time that I did that,
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it seemed like everything fell into place. And so, you know, as
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being young and naive, being young in naive, I thought, well,
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this stuff is really working. It's like I really thought I was something.
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But uh yeah, blessed people too, and people don't understand that that's right.
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But the thing I didn't realize is I opened a door that you know,
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it's fun for a while, but what you do is you open a
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door where entities can come in. And it's like all the bully and that
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I experienced at school, Like back then you could you could be bullied at
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school, but you could go home and you didn't have to deal with it
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anymore, not like today like we on social media and you still can't get
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away from it. But back then it's like when I went home, it's
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like there was a time I had to try to go to sleep at night
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and where I had opened that door to things that are not godly. I
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started to see stuff at the foot of my bed. And what ended up
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happening was I was seeing these things like were so horrific. I couldn't sleep
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at night. Of course, you know when I've go to school the next
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day, it's like, you know where I hadn't had any sleep. It's
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like I eventually got to where I started skipping school. And because where my
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mom and dad worked, it's like they would leave early in the morning,
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and you know, when I would catch the bus, it's like I would
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hear the bus go up the road, I'd be like, see you suckers.
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It's like I hate going. So so what ended up happening. I
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filled the eighth grade, and so that plan worked for a while, but
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like I was still struggling with you know, uh in that realm of battling
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with those demons and stuff. And during that time, my mom and dad
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got they separated, and so I just sank deeper and deeper into a depression
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and they had a halting. Yeah, And at that time, it's this
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was way before school shootings like happened like they like they did now. But
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going through that period of my parents separating, it's like I was kind of
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going back and forth for my cousin's house and one of the cousin's house I
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went to, they were gun fanatics. And you know, one of the
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things that I struggled with is like those those demons always tried to talk me
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into well just take a gun to school. It's like, you know,
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you'll show them. It's like you'll, you'll, you'll show them that you
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know they can't push you around. It's like, you know, finally let
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your voice be heard, because what would happen is and I want to say
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this too, especially for all the kids that have went through this, the
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hardest thing was not just the demonic side, but the hardest thing was going
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through that when you see that the teachers see what you're going through and they
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turn them lined eye. You know, I went through a period where I
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felt like my self worth was nothing. And so when when I went through
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that, it's like I just I just took on a code of hate.
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And it's like I got to the place where if I would have met you
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back then, I would have chose to hate you before you could ever you
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know, figured out it. Yeah, I put up that wall. So
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like daily when I would spend a lot of time with my cousins. It's
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like those demons would be like, yeah, I take the gun to school,
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you know, finally take your stand, show them. And and there
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was a couple of times that that, you know, it was but by
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the grace of God, you know. And another period after that, my
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mom and dad they would kind of reconcile for a little bit and then split
14:52
up again before they finally did one of the one of the aspects that I
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went through too. One year, for Christmas, my dad had a shotgun
15:05
purchase for him for for his for his works Christmas present. And so during
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that time too, it's like I struggled with suicide. And you know,
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I remember, you know, I remember a couple of times staring down the
15:22
barrel of the shotgun and you know, trying to get you. Yeah.
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And because like the way my heart was back then, I had no idea
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what God had in store, even when I was so far away from him,
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I couldn't see because of the hatred in my heart. I couldn't see
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like what he would ever have for me. Because like when you when you're
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in that much hate, like there's an oppression of darkness that comes upon you,
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it's like you don't want to see the light, Like even though odd
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is trying to reach you, it's like, you know, I believe sometimes
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like he lets us fall on our back, so we have to see him
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looking up. And I agree with that. So I agree with that.
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So getting back to my grandmother's there, there was a couple of times back
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then we had shop class. And for those in this generation that might not
16:23
know what that was, it's like it was like a class where they where
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they taught the boys how to build stuff, like in construction and stuff.
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Yeah, one of one of the things that I can say because I don't
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want to make it all about the enemy, but one of the times that
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I was being bullied, I was like in this back room where a bunch
16:45
of lumber was stood up. And one of the times I was pushed in
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that back room and there's like a couple other guys like holding me down and
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another guy like hitting me in the back with a two by four and like,
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and I remember hearing the smacks of the two by four, but I
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didn't feel anything. Because one of the things that that got to my mind
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at that time, I would hear my grandmother's prayers in the back of my
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mind, and my Baptist grandmother, she would always like walk around her house
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singing hymns and stuff. And you know, that was one of the that
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was one of the nuggets that God left for me back then, that that
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kind of gave me a little bit of hope. But I wanted I just
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wanted to say that just to let people know that God is in your situation,
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whether you feel him or not. So fast forward a little bit.
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We I get through the eighth grade on the second year on my repeat at
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everything. Yeah, and the thing that God got through me too was I
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went to my other aunts and uncle's house and back where I lived back then,
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we didn't have cable, so we had like only three channels on TV,
18:11
kind of like it's like if the President came on, you're not was
18:15
shot because that's all you could watch. So so I went to my other
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aunt and uncle's house they had a cable, and I was staying up late
18:26
at night and I saw this ministry. It was like a power team ministry
18:32
where these big muscle guys was like breaking frying pans and doing all this wild
18:37
stuff. But at the end of it, they had this invitation to come
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to know Jesus, and it was just me at the TV. And I
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remember praying that prayer and I didn't understand it, but I meant it with
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all my heart. And when I prayed that, it's just like I felt.
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The only way I can describe it is I felt something break on the
19:00
inside of me and I gave my heart to the Lord. After that.
19:06
Now, after I gave my heart to the Lord, it's like we're I
19:11
didn't go to church or anything. I didn't have anybody to mentor me,
19:14
so I didn't I didn't really know what to do with what I just received.
19:18
So but you know, the interesting the interesting thing too, and you
19:23
can look this up on the history, Like after I went past all that,
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the year after that, in Grayson, Kentucky, there was another student
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that was the same age I was, that was going through the same thing
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and he actually ended up taking the classroom hostage. And there's like news articles
19:47
and media all about it. But I remember I remember the news report saying
19:53
that when he took the classroom hostage, that he would he would yell out
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like like he would yell out to the class like how many of you all
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believe me now, and and I've talked about the media that I was always
20:08
consuming back then, We'll come to find out he was a Stephen King fanatic.
20:14
He was a highly intelligent student, but the only thing that he consumed
20:18
was like the Stephen King novels. And so it's like when I saw that,
20:25
it's like I knew that we both wrestled with the same demons, but
20:29
like he had a different outcome, and so, you know, God helped
20:34
me come through all that. And then fast forward a few years later,
20:41
I meet this girl on the internet. Bless A guy has a design path
20:51
for people to cross at the time that we need them, and if we
20:56
allow them to come in, then he he gets to have his way with
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us in the way that we're supposed to be interacting with God. I don't
21:07
believe that anything that God is designed for us is by coincidences, by design.
21:14
Absolutely. I had during you know, our teenage years, I had
21:23
been in a long term relationship with my hospital sweetheart and we had been together
21:29
for nine years. And at this point I was twenty three, graduating college,
21:34
and I knew that the life plan that God had for me was not
21:41
with this current fellow. But it's like what Mickey and I had in common
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was we did not attend church as a child or a teenager. We knew
21:56
who Jesus was, but we didn't know how to live the life of a
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Christian because we didn't have the influence around us. But I knew, I'm
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upon graduation, this was not what, you know, my life trajectory should
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be. I mean I had enough discernment, I guess at the on the
22:18
inside, even though I wasn't following the Lord. And so enters Mickey into
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the world of dial up modem. You know, now the whole home computer
22:33
is a new concept. You know, you had to dial up and you
22:38
had to agree to meet a certain time in a chat room. And chat
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rooms are still you know a thing now that they are. But I do
22:48
remember, and you know you couldn't nobody use the phone or anything if you
22:53
were on the internet. Yeah, I don't, don't you know? Are
22:59
you today are like dial up? What do you mean we just get on
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our tablets. I'm like, yeah, well, before you had there was
23:06
a whole big process and so we hadn't met actually in a chat room,
23:14
and you know, you do your normal you know, female twenty three looking
23:19
for non smoker, non drinker, prefer church, you know, I mean
23:26
going out. I figured once you put all that thing, you're narrowing your
23:32
list down. You know. Yeah, to those younger that may be listening,
23:38
It's like everybody's talking in this chat room, so you had to wait
23:42
until who you know you might be talking with to come through the list.
23:48
You know. It was like a continual conversation. So finally, you know,
23:52
this guy pops in and you know, it was like we started chatting
23:59
that way, and like the questions that we were asking each other, we
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had to wait on the scroll, you know, to find you know,
24:07
slow typers. So I'm just like, you know, as a woman,
24:11
I was like you hunting and pecking the letters, like, uh, we
24:21
met, you know, for a couple of days. You know. When
24:25
you say that, it's like a couple of days, you know, but
24:26
it's like we found each other within you know, millions of people. So
24:33
we knew that, you know, that was neat that that was definitely unusual.
24:38
It was fun to talk with him, and he wanted my number forever,
24:42
and I would not give it to him. You know, I was
24:45
just like, no, we just were fine with chatting. She found out
24:51
that off as numbers probably after a week or so because he was getting tired
24:59
of up and like with one finger and can I just get on the phone
25:04
with you because it's tap and I'm gonna be till next year trying to tell
25:08
you one day really flexed my Our first night, I remembered we were talking
25:21
up till like four in the morning, and I mean I could tell we
25:25
were clicking. And so he's like, so would you want to meet?
25:30
And I'm like, well, you know, I don't know. You know,
25:33
and back then, you didn't have the opportunity like we do now to
25:37
just send an instant picture. You had to scan the picture, saving older
25:42
email it. Yeah, the whole Yeah. Yeah. I was able to
25:52
send a picture of myself, but he was not able to send a picture
25:56
of himself. So I'm like, okay, you know, because it's like
26:00
this real she just being cheesy. You know. The thing was, when
26:07
I saw her picture, I was like, Wow, I have no chance
26:10
with this with this girl. So I felt like I was kind of being
26:15
like blown off, or you know, I'm like, why won't you send
26:18
me a picture? Come on? You know, like Rag didn't have the
26:22
technic to do that, and so he said, so, you know,
26:30
and all this time it's like, so, where are you from? And
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I'm like, well, I'm from a small town in eastern Kentucky. And
26:36
he's like, well, I'm from a small town in eastern Kentucky. And
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I'm like, you know, what are the chances you know that we were
26:42
close by? And so he was from one county over and he actually worked
26:49
in the city that I was from. And I'm like, hey, this
26:52
is getting a little weird at this point. It's getting a little you know,
26:56
it's getting through that from the beginning, and he did. Because what
27:03
I didn't know was Mickey had, you know, he was tired of being
27:07
in a relationship after relationship and was praying to God that you know, he
27:12
had not accepted yet into his heart. If you send someone, I will
27:18
serve them with you. And that's what he spoke to the Lord. And
27:22
here I pop up. You know, God, I answered that prayer immediately,
27:30
and it just took time for you guys to actually come together. And
27:33
that's one thing that I can say about God in prayer is that sometimes he
27:40
answers our prayers instantly. But we have to follow the steps and follow the
27:44
streets, and sometimes we get so far aheaded and stubborn that we want to
27:48
still try to do it our way. And he's like, Okay, I'm
27:52
gonna let you go ahead and do it your way and see how many times
27:55
you fall down, and then you'll let me in and then it'll be an
27:59
easy shot had you listened to me the first time. And I'm guilty of
28:04
that completely, and so you know, as we he actually says I stalked
28:11
him first, which I'm like, well, I didn't have a picture.
28:15
I didn't know. In fairness, her mom said that I could have been
28:18
an expert. Well, she's like, what are you doing in there,
28:21
topping on that computer? You know, I'm just talking to a guy.
28:25
We could be an ex murder. You don't know who he is. You
28:29
know that that ball parents said then, because you didn't know when anybody could,
28:33
and they still got to do this. They live at who they are,
28:37
and then when you actually get in front of them, they're totally opposite
28:42
of what they said, not even looking like what they look like. Because
28:45
some people will still put up a picture that they took seventeen years ago and
28:51
presented as today, and then you see him in person and you're like,
28:55
Okay, is this really you? Because it looks nothing like you today,
29:00
And so you know, get on the phone with him and say, hey,
29:03
do I think I met your grandmother here? Yeah? Right? The
29:10
word cat fishing wasn't even a terminology. I just went out on face at
29:15
who I was meeting was I was so yeah, yeah, because that's really
29:18
all all you had is blind fade and trusting the process. Ms. Patrice
29:25
says that she remembers those days like down up was a whole. Like I
29:27
was telling one of my younger coworkers at work. I was telling her that
29:33
I don't know if anybody, well, somebody out here has to remember when
29:37
you had to get the CD from the Walmart, the net zero Internet or
29:41
the AOL Internet and you had to go through the whole process of downloading that
29:47
onto the computer and then you had to wait and then you would hear this
29:52
crazy little sound and if you try to use the phone, it will kick
29:55
you off the internet. And she was so blown away, like what are
29:59
you even talking about? And I was like, you can just pick up
30:03
your phone and you're connected to the internet. That is not how it was,
30:07
I said, we had sets of encyclopedias at home if we wanted to
30:11
know information. I said, so, y'all have no idea of how easy
30:17
you guys have it right now. You have everything in the palm of your
30:21
hand, and some of you still walk around clueless. I don't understand how
30:25
that works. But it's okay, Eventually you'll get there. But you know,
30:30
back then, it was it was one of those things that you're like,
30:33
Okay, eventually we're gonna get to where we are now. And technology
30:40
has definitely come a long way. But God has been in you guys' story
30:45
from day one, and he answered those prayers like nobody else could and nobody
30:52
else would. But I'm also grateful that you guys were obedient to what He
30:56
was telling you guys to do, because that played a major part in it
31:00
as well. It's being obedient, and we had not had that background and
31:07
of church or being a Christian or being around people believers. It's like we
31:14
knew that we were destined to be together. We you know, we knew
31:18
that by the circumstances that had stacked up, you know, to this point,
31:22
we knew that we were supposed to be together. And so we would
31:26
just you know, we would pray to God. We you know, we
31:30
knew the Bible was an important part of life. And we started seeking together
31:36
and we knew that we would be getting in and we knew that God had
31:41
a purpose and a plan for us being married. And so it's kind of
31:48
like the knife that we got saved. Well, going back a little bit
31:52
a week before we had got saved, Mickey is a guitarist. So he
31:57
was playing in a bar, and you know, on the weekends, that's
32:00
easy money, and you know, as he's girlfriend, I was going and
32:06
supporting that. And you know, I had grown up pretty sheltered what I
32:12
call sheltered. I wasn't allowed to go out. I wasn't allowed to cruise
32:16
around town. I wasn't allowed to have alcohol, and so I had.
32:22
So we're talking twenty one years old and we're going to play at the bar
32:25
and she's still like, well, I have to be home at nine o'clock.
32:32
He's like, no time, you have to be home. I'm like
32:35
nine. He's like, full, the show's not over till like eleven thirty.
32:37
And I'm like, well, I'll work that out, you know.
32:40
But it was like I was stilling a little bit of freedom that I had
32:45
not had. And so you know, of course, being a woman in
32:51
a bar and you're sitting by yourself, you're gonna have a lot of drink
32:54
offers and a lot of hit ons and and so I never had to pay
32:59
for in my drinks. And you know, there was one night that I
33:02
was getting a little bit buzzed because I didn't know that you couldn't just drink
33:07
one right after the other, you know. And so it was like,
33:14
my testimony is that God spoke to me, like in my mind right there
33:20
in the bar, and the best way that I can describe it is like
33:23
it was God like brought me back, He zoomed me back and let me
33:28
see the panoramic view of the room, and he said, don't belong in
33:32
this place. I have a greater plan for you. Well, I just
33:36
sat there and bawled like a baby, and right there in the middle of
33:39
the bar. And so I'm like, well, I can't do this right
33:45
here at the table. So I went to the bathroom and all these girls
33:49
and women they're like, oh, honey, did he break up with you?
33:52
Did he break up? It's like in my mind, reality was like,
34:01
you know, it was like, don't tell them God to speaking to
34:05
you, because like, you're right, that's my problem, you know.
34:10
And I'll tell you that you really had to much to drink, because that's
34:14
naughty. I'm like, you know, And I was just all tore up
34:20
the rest of the night, you know. And so that following Sunday,
34:23
we actually, you know, we had made our way to a church and
34:28
so it was time for the altar call, and the way the seating was
34:34
there were two aisles to the altar, and Mickey went one way and I
34:38
went the other, and we didn't know each other went because you know,
34:42
it's during that time of everybody closed your eyes, you know, or your
34:45
hand or come forward. And he went one way together and we had given
34:51
our lives to the Lord together but didn't know it, and so that was
34:55
a really special moment. Oh yeah, well, listen, I am grateful
35:01
that you guys have given the backstory because it definitely shows the battle that you
35:07
went through to get through where you are because I can honestly say for me
35:13
and where I'm at right now on my spiritual journey is that I used to
35:16
be such a fan of like the scary movies and things of that nature.
35:22
Because number one, my birthday is October the twenty ninth, so October is
35:27
my favorite mom and Halloween. However, now that I've gotten older, I
35:32
can't even find myself watching no scary movies anymore because I know what they entailed
35:39
and what they had to go through to create those movies. So now even
35:45
you know, I watch them all the time as a kid growing up,
35:50
but within these last five years, I cannot find the space and where I
35:55
would even sit down and watch one. Now you know, it doesn't it
36:00
doesn't appeal to me in the same manner in which it did. And I'm
36:04
grateful for the closeness now that I have with God in being able to decipher
36:10
from that, you know, because I loved the scary movie, I loved
36:16
Halloween. I loved all of those things. And you know, I still,
36:22
you know, I still love the month of October because that's my that's
36:25
my month. But I celebrate a little differently now, you know. But
36:32
God has a way of putting you through certain things and allowing you to walk
36:39
this earth in a way to where you get away from Him. But I
36:44
think it's the moments where we are in silence where we actually can hear from
36:51
him, and it's like he's always with us and he's walking with us.
36:55
But when we choose to not hear him, that is where it feels like
37:00
that distance has gotten really far and in between, when it's like, no,
37:06
I never went anywhere. I've been here through everything, but you chose
37:10
not to hear me when I was speaking clearly to you, And yeah,
37:15
So I think that's one of the things that people are, Well, God
37:19
don't hear me. No, God heard you. Are you listening for him?
37:23
Is the question, and that's the question most of us don't ever want
37:28
to answer, because it's like, no, I've been talking to God for
37:30
years and he ain't heard nothing that I said because he let me go through
37:34
all of this. But he had to go He had to let you go
37:37
through those things. And I feel like if God showed us a preview of
37:40
what we had to go through to get the prayers answered, we would quickly
37:45
say, nah, I don't want none of that. I don't want to
37:46
be a part of that. You know, like if I got to go
37:51
through this, if I gotta fall down or break my arm and my leg,
37:53
I don't want to have to do that, because that's pain that comes
37:57
with that, and I don't want to have to endure the pain. But
38:00
in order for you to endure the joy of what you go through, you
38:05
have to endure the pain as well to come out on the other side.
38:08
And we don't want to hurt for anything. But God is not in the
38:13
business of hurting you to hurt you. He's in the business and helping to
38:17
build you and to share his greatness with the world. And if you're allowing
38:23
him to do so, nothing that you go through is ever in vain.
38:29
It's always for a greater good. Yes, absolutely, Yeah, I totally
38:35
agree. I believe all of us we're on that journey, but every one
38:40
of us will have that experience like Jacob did. Because Jacob was a trickster.
38:45
But eventually he had to wrestle with the Lord. Yeah, after he
38:51
got done wrestling with the Lord, his walk was totally different. Yea.
38:54
And everybody that met Jacob after that, after he wrestled with the Lord,
39:00
they knew that he had been in the presence of the Lord. He didn't
39:05
have to just talk about the Lord. They knew he was with the Lord
39:07
because they saw the way he walked. Yep. But when God gets his
39:12
hands on you, your walk is different. Your talk is different, your
39:15
delivery, your presence, your aora, everything about you becomes different. And
39:21
people who have been with you from childhood, they will quickly tell you,
39:24
oh, well, you're acting different. You changed, you did you did
39:28
that, And it's like, okay, And that's what I was supposed to
39:31
do. I was supposed to change. I was supposed to grow. The
39:36
way that I view the world now is not the same through the eyes of
39:38
a little girl. And I can honestly say some of the things that I've
39:43
been through in my life. My mom, she was addicted to drugs and
39:49
alcohol, said some very hurtful things to me as a kid growing up.
39:53
One of the most hurtful things was that she wished that I was dead.
39:57
She told me that when I was twelve years old. Now, the thing
40:00
about that is me being the kid that I was and the person that I
40:05
am now. I still have a smart mouth, and so I made my
40:07
mom. My mom was so mad with me because she didn't know how to
40:10
respond. And so when she said to me that I wish you was dead,
40:14
I said, Oh, my goodness, who made you mad today,
40:16
I said, but I think it's kind of late for you to want to
40:21
kill me, I said, cause that would be murder. And I don't
40:24
think you want to do that. But you know, whatever you decide,
40:29
it's your choice. But I don't think murder would look good on your record.
40:32
And so my mom was like, just get away from me, and
40:37
I was like, okay, fine, I didn't do anything to you.
40:39
I just came to speak. But you're already mad, but okay. But
40:45
you know, it was one of those hurtful things that you hear as a
40:46
kid, and I saw a lot of domestic violence with my mom and her
40:52
boyfriends and things of that nature, and people would always wonder, you know
40:59
why I was never angry and bitter with my mom was because my mom had
41:02
to fight her own battles. But it wasn't anything that I could do was
41:08
only be supportive. But I also had to learn to set boundaries in how
41:15
I dealt with my mom. And you know, I'm grateful because God allowed
41:19
me the time and the space to be with her in her final months.
41:22
And one of my biggest prayers was to never let my mom die alone.
41:30
Don't let her be out in the streets and not be to where family is
41:34
there. And it was a hard journey, but I was able to be
41:38
with my mom when she took her final breath last year. But you know,
41:45
all of the things that I've been through, the things that I've experienced,
41:47
the pain, the betrayal of family and friends, things of that nature,
41:52
I don't carry any hatred or bitterness towards anybody. And I owe that
41:59
to God, because when I start to tell people the things that have been
42:02
done to me, I should be angry. I should be bitter according to
42:07
what people would say because of what they've done. But I have no desire
42:15
to be hurtful, or to be vindictive or to receiek revenge. I had
42:22
a cousin of mine that I considered really close, and it was a lie
42:29
that she told on me, and all I could do was just laugh at
42:31
it because it was a lie that was told to my niece about my ex
42:37
mother in law and my daughter, and it was that she said that I
42:42
had called them some names. And if you know me, if I said
42:46
it once, I'll say it twice. I'm not gonna say anything about anybody
42:50
behind their back that I can't repeat to their face. And so I had
42:54
gotten a promotion and gotten a better job for the hospital. Well, my
42:59
cousin and she had applied for a job for a hospital, but she ended
43:05
up lying on her credentials, so she got fired from the hospital. Well
43:08
shortly after that is where I started working for the hospital after I graduated from
43:13
college. And it got back to me, and so my ex mother in
43:17
law was asking everyone except for me, had I said something. And so
43:23
when I finally went to confront my ex mother in law about it, I
43:28
was like, you know you had this question, but instead of coming to
43:31
me to find out the answer, I said, you've known me since I
43:35
was fifteen years old. If I've ever said anything once, you know,
43:39
I'll say it twice. I said, So why didn't you just come and
43:42
ask me? And so she was like, well, I don't know.
43:45
I said. You have my phone number, you have my address, you
43:47
knew where I was. I said, but it took you for me to
43:52
come to you to say anything about this, I said, And it just
43:57
goes to show that you wanted to believe what was said about me because that's
44:00
how you always felt about me, I said. And that's fine, You're
44:05
entitled to feel that way, I said, but since you didn't come and
44:07
ask me, let me go ahead and clarify some things for you. But
44:12
the cousin that did that, I haven't spoken to her. She's avoided me
44:15
at all costs. And it's like you avoided a situation that you caused.
44:21
I'm not angry with you, and I'm not upset with you, but I
44:24
was just I don't even really want to know why. But it goes to
44:28
show that people that you have, that you feel are closest to you will
44:31
betray you when they are upset about a decision that they made in their lives
44:37
and it has thing to do with you. And so I'm just like you
44:42
know, people are gonna be who they are. They're gonna tell you that
44:45
you've changed when you start walking with God. Yes, your walk is different,
44:49
the people that you entertain is different, the things that you go through
44:52
in life is going to be different. But it's because you're walking with the
44:55
purpose now and you're starting to understand what you're purpose this is and where you
45:00
go. I used to run away from what we're doing right now. I
45:05
will be honest with you, but I realized just the other day that what
45:10
I do is what God has called me to do. I had a young
45:15
lady come in the office. I work in an urgent care facility, and
45:19
the young lady came in and she was explaining, you know, what she
45:23
was going through and everything. And as she finally made it to the back,
45:28
so I provided her as she got ready to leave. She came back
45:30
and she was telling me about being able to see again. Now that's not
45:36
the reason why she came into the office, it was for something else.
45:39
But she came out and she was leaving, she was like, I just
45:42
needed to come by and tell you, you know that, I'm just overly
45:46
excited and grateful that because she hadn't been able to see her twin boys for
45:52
months because she was starting to lose her sight, and so she had said
45:55
that she had been praying and talking to God and everything. You know,
46:00
she was just grateful for that moment. But she says she felt like she
46:02
needed to tell me that because I would be one who would understand the blessing
46:07
that she has and let me know that when strangers talk to me, I'm
46:15
in the space in which God has called me to be, and I let
46:17
people vent to me say whatever they need to say, because sometimes all they
46:22
need is to listen and hear. And then you know, for her to
46:25
say that about me, it was like, you know, God, I
46:29
hear you. That was my confirmation for the day that she really needed somebody
46:35
to understand that she received a blessing. And she was like, I don't
46:38
know what it is, but I feel like you can understand how going from
46:43
one situation when you're dealing with your health to another situation, you can understand
46:47
when God is blessing you through that. And I didn't explain to her that
46:52
I how I knew, but I said, yes, ma'am, you're exactly
46:59
right that I do understand because of my own issues with my health and understood
47:04
what she meant. So but you know, we got we will talk all
47:09
night about the goodness of God. But I'm not going to keep you guys
47:13
any longer because you know, God is just one of those things. And
47:16
I know I talk to him all the time, and I know sometimes he
47:19
puts me on whole because I'm constantly talking to him, asking him questions,
47:22
and He's like, okay, look here, you don't ask me seventeen questions.
47:25
Can you go to sleep. We'll talk again tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah.
47:30
So you know, people always laugh at me when I say that,
47:35
but I'm like, that's how much I talk to God. And he knows
47:37
that, y'all. He created. I'm gonna be on the line, and
47:42
so I'm like, Jesus, don't put me online on home right now.
47:45
I got some questions, so come on and answer. I don't won't talk
47:50
to Jacob, I all won't talk to Paul. I don't won't talk none
47:52
of I won't talk to you. But you're gonna put me on hold,
47:54
so I'll come back. I'll let you do what you need to do,
47:58
but I'm gonna be back. I like that, But that gave me a
48:02
good visual because you know, I know that sometimes the Lord, I know
48:07
he never slumbers or sleeps, you know, but I think sometimes he's just
48:10
he makes you sleepy. So the children, you see me down on the
48:20
call id, I don't talk to her twelve times, talk about the month
48:24
to her to go to sleep. Just God, you sleep right now,
48:28
Just go to be. I'll talk to you tomorrow. But I really truly
48:32
thank you guys for being here tonight, and we definitely will have to have
48:37
a conversation again and how can people get in touch with you guys? Go
48:45
ahead. We on Facebook. We are Free at Last Podcast and you can
48:52
go on there, and we have a weekly live that we do and we
48:58
talk about issues that the church necessarily won't discuss on a Sunday warning. So
49:04
it's you know, we do topics that people have questions too, and you
49:08
know it's we kind of hit some tough topics, you know. And uh
49:12
so that's always been fun. But the Free at Last Podcast on Facebook,
49:17
and we have a website, the Free at Last uh ministries dot org,
49:24
and we're on Instagram and uh YouTube and we've finally in the last year brought
49:34
all of our brandy together for the Free at Last Podcast. Pray for us,
49:39
to pray for us to work smarter, not harder. Listen, it
49:45
always starts when you start one of these things, when God gives you the
49:49
direction of what to do, it seems very chaotic, and then once you
49:53
get everything in working order, you can stream on it. But he gives
49:59
you the vision and he gives you the provisions to make sure that it happened,
50:02
and then he's able to let you streamline it. So everything is not
50:07
so all over the place. I am one you believe that because I started
50:12
a publishing business almost two years ago and now I'm slowly starting to streamline all
50:20
of this. I've been doing the podcast now a little over a year,
50:22
so everything is is in its own space, but then it's slowly starting to
50:29
come together. So I definitely understand completely, and you guys will definitely be
50:32
in my prayers. And one thing that I always say before I leave any
50:37
show, and that is stay out of God's business. The only thing that
50:43
God needs you to do is be obedient to what He's called you to do.
50:46
So until next time, yes, ma'am. Until next time. I
50:51
will see you guys on May twenty third, where my guests will be Miss
50:54
LaToya Jackson, and you don't want to miss her because she is a student
50:58
of God's work. All right, thank you, guys, Thank you,
51:02
You're welcome. Y'all. Have a great night and happy mother person person.
51:10
All things ain't what things too stupid? Where did all the blue sky