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THE DISCLAIMER: Arrest Etiquette · The Hauraki Big Show

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show Podcast,
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, or
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: rawdog it four to seven every.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Weekday on Radio Hood Accused. Oh, g'day.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: Matt.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Hello.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Hello.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: How are we going, team?
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: Really good. It's good, man.
• 0:23
  Speaker 4: It's good.
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: It was nice having ages off.
• 0:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: It felt the same to me, I'll be honest.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it did feel the same to me as well.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: I'll be honest with you, 4.45 this morning, bingo. Bang.
• 0:37
  Speaker 4: Two o'clock for me.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: I was at two for you.
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: And then four o'clock, and then five o'clock, and I
• 0:42
  Speaker 4: was like.
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: Fuck this, I'm getting up.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: I was effing and jeffing, because that's when I set
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: my alarm for breakfast, but I hadn't set my alarm,
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: but I woke up at bang on 4.45. I thought
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: it was about six or seven.
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: Did you really?
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: 4.45 is when you were getting up?
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: I was 5.15.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: Right. And then I got up and wandered out to
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: the kitchen and was like, oh, God damn it. Came
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: back into bed.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: So you went out to the kitchen to check the time,
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: didn't you?
• 1:10
  Speaker 4: No, I just went out and swore and jeffed and jeffed.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: Because, yeah.
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: I looked at his phone, you mean. Yes, which is
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: plugged in in the kitchen charger.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, for fuck's sake. So I
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: went back to bed and my wife was awake. And
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: she said, oh, whose turn is it for coffee?
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: Wow, at 4.45.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: And I went, oh, it's a bit early for that, darling.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: And she went, oh, what do you mean? What's the time?
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: And I went, 4.45. And what did she say?
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, what did she say?
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: She went, oh, fuck.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: And then what did you say to that?
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: So I said, while you're awake.
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: We are indeed.
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: Indeed.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Indeed. I'll just get.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: Did you go back to sleep?
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: We did.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: We did, actually. It was quite good.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: What time did you wake up?
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Quarter past six.
• 1:53
  Speaker 4: Hour?
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: Extra hour?
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah Which normally, you know, I wouldn't get So
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: I was grateful for.
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: It Oh, that's good, man Yeah Did you thank the universe?
• 2:02
  Speaker 5: I did thank the universe I just woke up at 7.30,
• 2:04
  Speaker 5: oh gee Yeah It's great Fuck, it's great Like just
• 2:09
  Speaker 5: not getting up at four or whatever And it going
• 2:12
  Speaker 5: off and being like.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: Ugh Fuck Yeah, yeah, yeah Fuck, it was good.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: I think we need to start pounding the pills, Mogi.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: I think we need to.
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: Go pharmaceutical on this. I tell you what I'm doing
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: is I'm not going to– I've been much better. This
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: is a bad run I'm on. I'm on a bad run.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: But I still feel good as gold.
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: It's just a bad run. It's just a bad run, Keezy.
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: I was in bed early last night because I was
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: absolutely rooted yesterday. And a little bit of sleep chat, everyone.
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: But then, yeah, just waking up, waking up. And I
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: managed to go back to sleep, which was good. Just
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: roll around for a little while and then went to
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: the gym and then got home at 7, made.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: The wife a coffee.
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: She just woke up.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Beautiful.
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: You're cracking on with your day, man.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: Well, you do. You do.
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: But I would absolutely fucking love to sleep through the night. God,
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: how good would that be?
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Maybe I need to talk to a, what do
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: you reckon? Sleep psychologist? Nah.
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: Just someone at the pub or something.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Is there such a thing? There probably is.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: There is.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of little kids, isn't there?
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, there is.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: Like a sleep therapist.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: Baby whisperers, they call them. Yes. Go to fucking sleep.
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: Why don't we sleep train mogi? Go to fucking sleep.
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: Why don't we do this as a storyline and then
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: I don't have to pay for it?
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sure.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: That sounds good, eh?
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, I need it too, though, Kesey.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: Okay, we'll sleep train both of you.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: And by the sounds of it, so do you, because
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: you've been having some shockers.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: You have, yeah.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: Well, you're stressed out, though.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: You've been stressed and waking up.
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: That was stress-related. Otherwise, I'm sweet. Yeah.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: You sleep like a baby.
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: I do. So what we'll do is we'll get a
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: baby sleep trainer on. Yeah, good idea. And they'll be like, right.
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: For Jase and a grown-up one for me.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: No, two baby ones.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: What about a hypnotist?
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: The trouble is what they want to do is they
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: want to reset your circadian rhythm.
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: I don't like people fucking with my circadian rhythm.
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: Has it happened before?
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: You leave that alone, yeah.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: I had a bad experience. It's dirty.
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: Get your fingers out of there.
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: What do you think a circadian rhythm is? Do you
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: think it's a butthole?
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: I think what they make you do is stay up
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: really late.
• 4:17
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: I can't be fucked.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I remember that as well. Or go to bed
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: an hour later. So that kind of works because what
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: I've realised, and I know this is enthralling chat, but
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: I have a limited quota of sleep every day. That's it.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: That's all I'm getting. So just deal with it.
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: But also, Jess, you have a way of being like,
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: I can't nap.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: No, I can't.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: Exactly. It's just like, I can't nap. I'm not even
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: going to try because I can't nap. Of course you can.
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: Everyone can fucking have a sleep.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: Everyone can nap.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: No, I can't.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: I'm too angsty. To Nat.
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: How do you go to sleep at the end of
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: the day?
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: Well, at the end of the day, because my body
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: naturally reaches that place. And I have been walking a
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: fucking truckload, so you'd think that would help, which it does.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: But no, I've just never been a napper.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: What about if you had one of those big, heavy
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: anxiety blankets?
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: Well, we used to have one of those.
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: And then that's your napping blanket.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean? That way you're not angsty
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: because you're under the anxiety blanket.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: And my wife can put it in the corner of
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: the room and I just go over there and curl
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: up into it.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: Like a dog bed.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like a dog bed. And I just wrap myself
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: in the anxiety blanket.
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: And the older you get, the harder it is to
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: sit down in the bed. That's what my family dog does.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: It, like, does the three laps of it. Yeah, do
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: the laps. Push it down. The hip sort of goes
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: down and.
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: Then the rest of the body.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: Collapse into it. Yes. Fucking poor thing.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: Jeez. Oh, God.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: That's like you, Jase.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: The Hauraki Big Show.
• 5:46
  Speaker 5: Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki.
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: Now that's good listening.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: And it's live.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: What are you listening to there?
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: Oh, me?
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: Oh, sorry.
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: I was listening to the Radio Hauraki Big Show. Right.
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: Four to seven weekdays.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's quite specific. And I heart radio.
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: What?
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: Cheers.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: The Hauraki Big Show podcast.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Man, I saw an arrest today on Queen Street, and
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: I've never seen anything. Anything like it.
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: It's probably for the podcast then, right? Not for radio.
• 6:26
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: It was a fucking horror of a fucking set too.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: It was a woman.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: Backbone, obviously.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: And my wife and I had just gone and had
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: breakfast and we were walking back up Queen Street, screaming
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: like you would not, I have never heard someone screaming
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: like this. Beyond that, just... You know, you talk about
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: losing your shit. This is beyond losing your shit. It
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: was the most. And everyone within about a 50-meter radius
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: was just frozen on the spot. Six cops, six cops
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: trying to get her into this van. It was a
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: fucking shit show.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: Damn.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: And then her mates turned up while the police are
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: trying to get her into the van. And they're effing
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: and jeffing at the cops from the sidelines.
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: Was she cuffed?
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: They were trying to cuff her.
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: But she was. Just going fucking.
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: I would have tased her. Yeah.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: And they were trying to do it, but six fucking cops.
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: Six cops.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: Six cops.
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: Six cops.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: Gives you an idea of the extent of the... What
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: would you call it?
• 7:33
  Speaker 5: Explosion.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: So what do you have?
• 7:34
  Speaker 4: You have one person on each of the limbs.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: You've got an extra two there, so I'd have one
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: on the head.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: You had two down sort of below, pressing into the legs,
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: because they had her up.
• 7:42
  Speaker 4: Oh, has she been carried at this point?
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: No, not carried. She's up against the sort of back
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: of the van.
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: Pushing her face into the side of the van.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: No, not... No contact with the head area, but just arms, legs,
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: and hip.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: Just trying to hold her still.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: No good.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: Fucking hell.
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: I think you've got to pin them down. You've got
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: to get them face down. You've got to get their
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: face in the concrete there. It's for their own good, Jase.
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: You press a little bit of pressure on the head there,
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: and then you can cuff them. And then once you've
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: got them cuffed, then you stand them up. I think
• 8:12
  Speaker 4: they've made a mistake there by trying to cuff them
• 8:13
  Speaker 4: standing up. Quite possibly.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: But it was very off-putting, I've got to say.
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: You don't want to get arrested now.
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: Or put you off this woman. Which one was it?
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: Or has it put you off-putting? You kind of said off-putting.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: Like you don't want dessert. It's off-putting.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: I don't really do. I did have dessert last night, actually.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: What did I have, Keezy?
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: Frozen yogurt.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: Correct.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: From a frozen yogurt story.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: We were sitting there after I cooked a lovely meal,
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: by the way. And I said to my wife... I
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: feel like a bit of a frozen yogurt.
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: A bit of a treat, yeah.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: She went, no.
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: Not really.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: Come on.
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, bad influence. Oh, bad influence. Come on, let's do it, darling.
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: Come on, man.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: So we did. It was good.
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: It was delicious.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: What flavour did you get, man?
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: I can't even remember. Something.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: There's all sorts.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, nicotine yogurt.
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: Have we invented something there? Let's do it.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's good. Let's go into business.
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: So they got her away, though?
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: They did. But then you could hear her, once they
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: got her in the van, just bawling. And screaming.
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: What you do there is you.
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: Go down to the local sports fields and you do
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: a few doughies.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I was saying to my wife, God, that's
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: going to be fun at the other end, isn't it?
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: It might be a case of let's just give her
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: a bit of time.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: To just– Cool off. Cool off a little bit, you know.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: And my brother who's a cop, he tells me very
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: similar stories where he's been arresting people and they spit
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: in your face and do all that. It's not good.
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: Well, it's like my wife.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: Fuck being a policeman, man.
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: Or a police officer.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: My wife was like, oh, I feel like I would
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: enjoy being a police person. Who said that?
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: My wife.
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: A police person.
• 9:49
  Speaker 5: And then I was like, we were watching like Highway Patrol.
• 9:53
  Speaker 5: And then instantly an officer was getting confronted by this
• 9:56
  Speaker 5: person who was very angry and being very offensive and
• 9:58
  Speaker 5: very racist.
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: And I was like, so you. deal with that. She said, oh,
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: maybe not that sort of stuff. I'm like, that's 90%
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: of the stuff.
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: There's no picking and choosing.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: We were trying to figure out where, because like the CBD,
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: that'd be a hard beat, where the hardest beats in
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: Auckland would be. West Auckland, I'd say, would be pretty challenging.
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: A friend of mine was the head of a certain
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: crime unit in South Auckland and it was one of
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: the most intense jobs I've ever heard in my life.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: He doesn't do it anymore.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: No.
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: But I was just like, holy fuck. The stories, you know,
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: that he could probably tell are just like, oh. Yeah.
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: Whereas I come home and I'm just like, oh, busy day.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: We had a brainstorm.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right.
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean?
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: We've got a good one coming up, babe.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: That was the show. Oh, my God.
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: Wait until you hear this new ad campaign we've got.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: It's just full on.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: We did this funny thing on the show, babe. I
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: was talking about gaming, and then Jase was like, doosh, doosh, doosh, doosh, doosh.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: It was so funny. It probably doesn't sound very cool
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: the way I'm explaining it.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: I'll make you watch the real one.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it was really funny anyway.
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: Doosh, doosh, doosh, doosh, doosh.
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: The podcast is out. Let's listen to it.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: It's just so stupid, you know?
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: It's good stuff, though, fellas. Hey, listen to the big show,
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: 407 Weekdays, Hodaki.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, good stuff.
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: Thank you. Yeah.