Latest / Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie / Permission Over Proof: Building What Doesn’t Exist ft. Ashley Deland

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Permission Over Proof: Building What Doesn’t Exist ft. Ashley Deland · Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Beyond Limits, the podcast designed to unlock your highest potential with powerful strategies, energetic frequencies, and mindset shifts to create a limitless life.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Each episode dives deep into what it really takes to build a life and business beyond the ordinary standard.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Expect unfiltered conversations, tangible takeaways, and mind-blowing insights to shift your reality.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: You'll hear from Trailblazers who have shattered ceilings and know what it means to live beyond limits.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: And they're here to share their expertise with you.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Get ready to redefine what's possible when you go all in.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: More than a podcast, this is your gateway to building a limitless life and business.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Tune into the Beyond Limits podcast and step into all that is possible.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Hey everyone, welcome back to the Beyond Limits Podcast.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: I am incredibly excited to be joined by my guest today, Ashley Delong.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: And she is here to share her amazing story, her incredible insights, her wisdom, her intelligence.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: She is beyond brilliant and absolutely killing.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I cannot wait to have such an incredible conversation.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: So welcome to the podcast.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Girl, thank you so much for having me.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: It is an honor to be here.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: So for those people who don't know you yet, tell us a little bit about you, what you do, and kind of the mission you're here for.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I wear multiple different titles and hats at my core strategic business advisor.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_03: I have been doing that for over a decade now.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_03: I am the CEO of a few businesses.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_03: One of them is Maison Delon, which is a creative design house.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_03: The other is uh Business Mastery Academy Certifications.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_03: So it's the first ICF modeled business coaching program for women in the world.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_03: And we have another one, uh Foundra, which is still under contract, so I can't talk about it too much.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_03: I am recently a published author of Unreserved, which is a story uh collective of 24 stories from women around the world speaking about their truth and turning their pain into purpose.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_03: And more recently, I am an executive producer on a TV show working title Fempire, which is going into production next month in September.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: So many incredible things that I kind of want to go into and dive into.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: I could go in so many directions, but what really stood out to me is turning that pain into purpose.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Can you dive into that for us and what that's actually looked like for you and what your pain or where you maybe have come from and how you turned that into purpose?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_03: So I was born and raised until I was um eight in Montreal, Canada, and we came from very blue-collar.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_03: I am the youngest of three girls raised by a single mother.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_03: My uh biological father was in and out of jail and just not someone you know the family was affiliated with.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_03: I grew up in a religious cult as well.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_03: And it was one that definitely promoted women to give birth or door knock.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_03: Definitely no option of having a job, especially becoming an entrepreneur.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_03: It was very much a stay silent, stay unseen, you are the lower gender, you are the lower class.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_03: And when we moved to Oakville, we got excommunicated, and then from there, well uh it took a few more turns of darkness, but then life started flourishing.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_03: And after years of healing, I am now able to speak more from the scar and less from the wound, and through that healing, I have realized how much purpose has come from that pain and the ability to be so thankful and grateful to have had all of that in my life because I can speak from a place of not just confidence, but understanding that everything that we go through allows you to become stronger and allows you to evolve into a higher version of yourself if you can see how much purpose is in your pain.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_03: And now it's part of my advocacy to help women go from victim to victor and to understand how much beauty comes from those moments of darkness and how if we use it right, it can just catapult you into higher, better, stronger versions of yourself.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Would you say that was something you did easily, or was there any point in that journey where you didn't feel like there was a purpose where you maybe didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, or you're maybe like, why me?
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Any kind of victim?
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like, have you always been like, oh, this is prepping me for something bigger?
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: Or was there that that period where you maybe had a light bulb more, or was there something that really like, oh, this actually is for a purpose?
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like maybe a lot of women don't maybe see that purpose yet, or they're struggling to see like the light in the darkness.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: What was that like for you?
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: Was there a moment or have you always been this way?
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: Kind of paint us a picture.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_03: You know that uh transparently that moment of understanding gratitude for the pain only happened, I'd say, within the last four to five years prior to that.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_03: It was I was definitely in victimhood to the point where at one uh at one instance in my life coming out of high school, I tried to commit suicide and I woke up in the hospital with my stomach pumped.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_03: Thank goodness for my mother's intuition.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_03: I just never understood why I had such a traumatic and difficult, difficult life growing up and coming from Montreal into Oakville, you know, rich richest little town in Canada, and seeing quite literally the picket fences and the beautiful families.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_03: I never understood why me.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_03: I was sitting in that why me for a very, very long time until I was able to do a lot of therapy, a lot of healing, a lot of silence, stillness, energy work.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_03: Only then was I able to see the beauty behind it.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_03: But I definitely stayed transparently in victimhood for too long.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: When you started feeling that gratitude, was there any part because you also mentioned coming from a religious cult where like faith came in or the why me also maybe had something to do with like why would God do this to me or any kind of that?
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I know now you probably have a different relationship with God.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: How did that kind of heal?
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm sure it's like, why is God punishing me?
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Why would God do this to me?
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: And it almost it feels like like a betrayal, and you because you don't see the purpose.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: How did you kind of navigate that?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Also, then now having the current relationship you do with your faith.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_03: It really took a long time in my in my head, in our religion, you know, God was a white man, that's how they were portrayed.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_03: So the elders of this uh religion were also all white men, obviously.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_03: To me, God was just another white man who just hurt me so, so, so deeply.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_03: And when we got excommunicated, I felt like there was this release of me having to almost be a slave to another man.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_03: And I became the version of myself that you could not use the word God in my vicinity.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_03: I was so angrily against him for so many years.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_03: But I actually, if I think back now, I was always in communication, but I called it source or energy, very similar.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I actually dove really deep into uh yoga and I was a Reiki master, and I would be speaking to my intuition and to source and to universe, but I now I look back and I know it was always God, he always had his hand on me.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_03: It took me until the very sudden death of my best friend Mary for me to even be introduced to the word God without so much pain attached.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_03: So um Mary died within 24 hours very, very suddenly.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_03: And at the time, of course, it was a huge blur, but at the time there were many people coming to the house that my husband and I lived at at the time uh to come check on me very sincerely.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_03: And I would have to escape to just be with myself and at the time just talk to Mary.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_03: So I used to drive down to the water and um turn on Sirius XM.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_03: And at the time, Joel Osteen was playing, and he didn't feel biblical to me, he felt encouraging and inspiring, and that was the first reintroduction that I had out of so much pain and desperation of any form of light.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_03: Joel Osteen showed up.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_03: Beyond that, my husband is a man of radical faith.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_03: Like I love that.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_03: He is um one of the biggest reasons for where I am today in my path of religion.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_03: He uh used to play professional hockey, and he would do like the cross sign on the ice, and he was known as the guy that you know believed in God.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_03: The first time he ever took his shirt off in front of me, he had this giant John 316 tattoo on the side of his ribs.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, shit.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_03: But he has such a pure and beautiful relationship with God, where God has always just been so different for him than it has been for me.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_03: And it was like watching the innocence of life through a child, you know, the innocence of and the beauty that God played in his life.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, oh, well, if he could do that for him, maybe he can do that for me too.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_03: So Joel Osteen mixed with Ryan have radically, radically changed my vision and my version of God and understood that I don't have to go to church, which I don't, I don't have to read the Bible, which I don't, but I can be a very faith-filled woman and walk in that path and speak to him daily, all day, and be in my own way a believer without having to conform to the rules of religion.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: I love that you say that because I think so many women maybe think that their relationship with God has to look a certain way or it has to fit into a certain box, or maybe like me, they they've grown up maybe in Catholicism.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like, oh, this is what you do, and you go to church and you take the bread and you do this, and maybe you think, oh, this doesn't resonate with me in that way.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: So then they leave the relationship kind of like how I left my relationship with God and then refined it.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like you're giving women their permission to really have whatever relationship with God that that looks like for them and to rebuild.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: So it doesn't have to be this or that or all or nothing.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like it can actually be whatever it is to you, but even just giving yourself that permission to like rediscover that or open yourself up to maybe looking a different way or being different than someone else's, and you have the expanders you had in your life, and perhaps you know, there's people in in their lives that they are expanded by that they see, oh, like that relationship with God feels like resonance to me.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that feels like something like, oh, I can wrap my head around that, which is something that really helped me.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh, God doesn't have to be Catholic church, it can be something completely different, which then allowed me to even wrap my head around the word God, which I used to not be able to say.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like you used to hate that word.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'd walk into a church, I was like, get me out, get me out.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: There was something that was so it would make me angry that so like, yes, restrictive is like the perfect word.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm so glad that you brought that up.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really curious because in so many different like women that I talk to and entrepreneurs, especially when it comes to like God and faith and their connection, it's like we've all gone through pain.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I know everyone goes through pain, but what role do you think pain has in terms of success?
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because there is a commonality where a lot of us tend to have gone through shit to kind of get here, just to say it bluntly.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Do you believe like that that's required?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Do you believe that, like, oh, you can just like coast along and you would still be the this person?
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: Or do you believe like a it's like a trench you walked through?
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's a great question because I mean, funny enough, as you're asking that question, I hear Ryan in the back of my head saying, You have just enough trauma to make it to the top, you know?
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_03: Because I do use it as like my fuel.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_03: I use it as if I can get over that, if I can get through that fire, I am unstoppable.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_03: And I really do use that as a form of confidence, but I've had to do the work, I've had to heal.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_03: I believe that you have to be the version of the woman that can hold the success, and that means you have to heal to a point where you can lead with, you know, vulnerability and authenticity, but in a space that feels so real that you don't know how else to present yourself.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_03: It's just rawness.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that the more vulnerable and the more raw you can operate without victimhood, without a poor me, without a, you know, limiting belief mindset, the more you attract the right people, the more you attract, you know, you can talk, you can say money, the more you attract everything that your heart desires because it's a place of just pure energetic me.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_03: I do believe that the work is never done though.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_03: I believe that you are in constant motion of healing and expansion and evolving.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_03: And even when you think you have gotten through one level, one version, you then want to attract things that are gonna make you fearful and things that are scary, so that you can then be reintroduced to this new level and then conquer, you know, those quote unquote demons or those pain points or those objections.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think you're ever fully healed.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's a beautiful part of being human, is that you get the ability to constantly thicken your skin to constantly attract these new challenges so that you can uncover new versions of yourself as long as you view it in a way of giving yourself permission to feel everything in order to evolve and being so so grateful for all of the pain because there's so much purpose behind it, then really you are unstoppable.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_03: But you have to view it that way.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: What is it for you that you think has allowed you to view it this way?
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because I I agree in terms of it's never done, like you're always going to be evolving.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: There's always a new edge, there's a new edge.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's that's why we came here to constantly go to the edge of ourselves and to expand and to grow.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: But what's the difference between how you view it and I view it the same way of like this is exciting expansion?
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how can I go to my edge today?
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: How can I leverage this versus like shit?
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's it's never done, it's always something, it's never done.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: How do you view that in a such a positive like expansion light versus something like healing's never done, healing's never done?
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because I do feel like women get trapped in like the healing and the work is never done, but it's from a very deflated whether they feel like, oh, and there's this and then there's this versus we're like and there's this and then this.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's like we're going in the black diamond, like, give me a double black diamond, like let's go.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: What has allowed you to really like stay in that versus feeling the oh shit, it's never done?
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, every day is a choice on how you operate and how you show up in your life.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_03: And my choice has intentionally been to show up as a version of myself that has never done healing, that is always open to receiving the good and the bad, and understanding that the quote-unquote bad is only to allow you to evolve.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_03: Who wants to live a life full of rainbow and sunshine?
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_03: Like that's going to be a very deconstructive life because when obstacles come your way, you know, you have the potential to crumble.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_03: I love the challenges.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_03: I love them because I get introduced to so many different angles and perspectives and thought processes that I might not have been introduced to if it was all rainbows.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_03: And I feel like when you just have the power of choice and understand that you can show up to any obstacle in your own way, then you have the power to control your life.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_03: You are always that one decision, right?
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_03: I usually say like one decision, one introduction, one thought away from completely transforming your life.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_03: But I definitely feel like behind that it is you have the power of positivity within you to choose how you want to show up.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_03: And it's so important that we understand that and not allow life to take hold of us.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_03: You know, we were both women that knew we were born to disrupt and to not follow the rules.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_03: And that is such a beautiful thing, and I feel like we were definitely born in the right generation.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_03: And now we have the ability to have microphones in front of us and teach other women how to do that, how to come from a place of love but disruption.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_03: And we don't have to conform to the rules of entrepreneurship or business or regulation or religion.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_03: We can operate how we want to, and that choice is ours, and we get to show up and constructively make that decision every day.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't think that women understand how much power they hold.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_03: They're almost looking for the permission, but here is the permission.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: I love that you brought up everything you're saying.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm kind of just like nodding along because the choice is so huge.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure you've also witnessed this as well.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: Is so many women actually don't realize that they have a choice.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: They don't realize, like, oh, I could perceive this this way or I could do this.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's also conditioning and how a lot of us are brought up of like, this is just how it is.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like you don't have a choice.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: This is X, Y, Z.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, no, like you've actually forgotten how powerful you are.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's not your circumstances, you know, it is your state of being, which you always have a choice of how you perceive and how you interact and you know how you're gonna view a situation.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: But like you said, that permission is is so huge.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: And when women forget their power, they end up forgetting the whole point of it all.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where I'm sure you've also seen women get stuck in loops where things are happening to them or they can't seem to get out, and the same situation is happening.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: Cause it's like, yeah, it's inviting you to remember who the hell you are.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and when you see maybe like Ashley or me, or you see this disruption and this power, it's only us reflecting back to you, your own power, that you're able to step into.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: So for people maybe who don't realize that they have a choice, what would you say allows you to actually access the point of choice?
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Is it like uh something, a question you prompt yourself with, um, something you lead yourself through so that you actually see, oh, I have the choice to perceive it?
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like a lot of women get unconscious.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: And whether they're really busy or they're kind of just like going through the motions, they don't realize that, like, oh, I have a choice to perceive this differently.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and that's a really great question because I think a lot of us, and to a certain extent, this is a beautiful thing, but we operate in such a present state that we forget that we are in our becoming.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_03: We are becoming her in the future.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_03: And you need to so clearly articulate and define who she is, how she operates, how she speaks, how she generates success, what her version of dream like state is, and then operate daily working towards her.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_03: And that's how you are able to make the choices of the yeses or the no's.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_03: Is that driving me towards that becoming, or is it pushing me away?
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_03: When I'm hanging out with these people, do they fulfill that soul level, that vision, that version of me, or do they retract it?
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_03: And every choice needs to now be filtered through that lens of am I stepping into that higher version of self, or am I staying mediocre, small, silent, and comfortable?
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_03: And when you filter between those two, it's just so much easier to take all of the what ifs and the confusion out of the equation because you're so focused on who you are becoming that it just becomes simpler.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: If you have not yet followed and subscribed to the show, I would love it if you would.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: It helps us bring on more guests that allow you to live beyond limits.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: And with that, let's get back to the show.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_03: And then mixing that in.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_03: With the faith of God, right?
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_03: Is this what is meant for me?
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_03: Um, will you please curate me into something bigger than who I am?
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_03: Like all those prayers, all of those mantras, those affirmations, that guidance, then will catapult you forward.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: I love how you said every choice, because I think maybe women think it's only in like the big stuff.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: And sure, it is like the big choices and decisions, but when you really get like micro and granular and like microscopic of like the your business structure, the way you're talking, the way you're like, if you run every little thing, which might sound tedious to some in the beginning until you kind of get used to it, but it really is like every little micro decision compounds.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just, am I gonna make this one big move and this one choice?
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I like to say, what are all like the little choices you're making in between?
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you make the one big choice, but then all the little choices around it are are not aligned, well, then we're kind of one step forward, two steps back.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: But if you can actually slow down and look at all these micro little decisions of how you're operating, how you're being, you'll start to notice where there are those incongruencies where maybe, oh, I I chose it here, but the next 10 things I did were not.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: And when you can be conscious and actually make those choices in all those little ones, that's when things really start to compound.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that's when you said, like all the opportunities, the magic, the miracles, synchronicities, uh, or whatever it is kind of start to flood into your experience.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, big moves are overrated.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_03: You only you have to train yourself and you almost have to get through those little steps to get to the medium, to get to the large, to get to the big move.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_03: Everything is a breakdown, right?
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_03: There's so many versions of yourself that you have to become in order to make that big move.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_03: You know, that's why they say success is not overnight.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_03: I've been doing this for a decade, and that's why I have the availability to hold XYZ titles.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_03: It's because I've been making those tiny little steps every single day to become, to operate, to lead, to house all of this so that the big move looks like it's an overnight success, but it never is.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I'd like to dive into with those choices, because I I know you've definitely done this.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like women struggle to make the choices because they're not sure they're gonna get the proof or they haven't gotten the proof of the validation yet.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: So they're like, uh, can I make this choice?
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: Or that they make the choice and then immediately check for the validation.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: How have you allowed yourself, and maybe this is where the faith in God comes in, to make those choices, but not instantly look for the proof or the validation and not let that make you doubt or hesitate or second guess?
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_03: I do not look for those external validations whatsoever.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think that it is a strong mental game to execute something and then look for proof outside of you.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_03: I think that is a losing game.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_03: So, you know, if I'm and we can relay it back into business, but if you're doing something with the hopes of a new client or another member or et cetera, et cetera, then you're doing it for the wrong purpose.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_03: You need to be doing it from a place of wanting to fulfill your passion, your mission, your vision of being of service to the world at large.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_03: It has to come back to you being so completely grounded and comfortable in your version of self that you know you're executing from a place of deep desire and of love, of passion, and not of money, success, stardom, celebrityhood, etc.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_03: So it's never a good game to do something with the hopes of having your handout in receiving.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_03: It should only be be of a place of whatever you are born from, that purpose, that dream, that vision that was put in you from your source, your universe, or your God.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's just a losing battle on that one.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: I love that you said that because I like to say, like, I move to move, I create to create.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's not creating to get a result or you know, creating with the expectation of back.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, no, I do this because this is who I am, this is my mission, this is what the passion is, this is what I desire.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: It the fulfillment is there.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's coming from overflow and wholeness.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's not coming from I do this to hopefully receive a thing that then makes me feel worthy, whole enough, complete.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: Insert, insert your word here.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: That I feel like a lot of women operate from, especially in business, but but also in life.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like we can, you know, extrapolate this to absolutely anything.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do you move your body from a place of love or you move it from like the shame, or you know, are you eating healthy for this reason or or that reason?
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: Is it for money or is it for this?
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like you can apply this to so many different areas of your life.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I think when you do, you will get far different results when you start operating from like what you're talking about versus that that needing the validation.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: And even, you know, especially when it comes to success, it's like, oh, I'm doing this, I'm doing this.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_00: And then there's like some stamp of recognition that you've made it.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd love, you know, if there was maybe any instances in your life or your business where you thought you would, you know, hit this income or hit this milestone or hit this thing, and it would somehow change something, or you'd feel a certain way, and maybe it it wasn't as as good, or maybe you've always been like this.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: But do you know what I mean?
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: Where like people think, oh, I'll hit the million dollars, then I'll feel this way when you get there, and you're like, Oh.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_03: I know, nothing's changed.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, so many occurrences, but to bring imagery, I think, to this conversation, there's two main ones.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_03: The first one is pretty typical, which is, you know, went through business school, graduated with honors, did all the quote unquote things I was supposed to do, entered into the corporate world, which was director of marketing events for a very for Moses Nimer.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_03: So it was, you know, if I knew coming out of university, if I was gonna work for the man, it was gonna be the man.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_03: So I went in there, full throttle, like internship, work for free.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, this is where I need to be.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_03: And uh within like a year and a half, two years in, I was like, oof, corporate is not for me at all.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_03: So that was one of those scenarios where you're building your whole life around what you think the outcome should be, but the reality is very different, and it was a letdown.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_03: Of course, beautifully divine to where it led after that.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_03: Fast forward after the business education, the corporate experience, I then stepped into hands-on entrepreneurship.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_03: I knew that I wanted to build scale and exit businesses to learn how to do so, to then teach women how to do it.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_03: My third business that I built, the first one Yoga Studio, the second was a juice bar, the third was a bricks and mortar vegan restaurant.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_03: It was called Karma All Natural, and it was the first gluten-free, vegan, soy-free restaurant in Canada.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_03: It was a great concept.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_03: It was a beautiful theory.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_03: We opened, had great sales day of.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_03: I knew that the restauranture world was not gonna be feasible for me long term.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_03: I highly, highly respect anybody who owns a restaurant because it is a hustle every day, all day.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_03: So when somebody, when I exited, I had the this perceived image within me of I'm gonna exit this business, I'm gonna just take a bath in all the money, you know, I'm gonna have that on my resume.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_03: It's gonna go fabulous.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_03: It's I did it.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_03: I did the corporate, I did the hands-on, I did the exit, like good for you.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_03: But the exit ended up being pretty shitty, really.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_03: It did not go the way that we wanted.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_03: I did exit, but the business flopped in the hands of somebody else, and it was really I'm not gonna say traumatizing, but it was just devastating to see something that you built blood, sweat, and tears, and you know, this like quote unquote baby goes into somebody else's hands and it just it crumbles.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_03: So I definitely had perceived notions of it going one way and it went another way.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_03: Did I learn what I needed to learn?
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_03: Did I fulfill the goal?
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_03: Sure.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_03: Was the outcome what I expected?
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_03: And again, I'm actually very thankful for that because now people are really interested in not just learning about the exit, and you know, there's a lot of women that can speak about successful exits.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_03: That's so wonderful.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_03: I'm so happy, like literally in my soul, I'm so happy for them.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_03: I can speak to a shitty exit, and that's also information that people need to hear in that lens of in which I view that exit or corporate or any of the other scenarios in my life.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_03: I know is meant for me so that I can speak from that scar.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_03: Because other women need to hear that.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_03: And that's why I feel like so many of the scenarios have happened for me and not to me, so that I can speak to other women from a place of experience but vulnerability and give them permission to go deeper into their lives to see where they can bring optimism into that pain and into that purpose.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: I love that you've worn kind of so many hats and you've had experience in so many different.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's rare to find someone who is like the brick and mortar experience and the online experience, and like you like you said, you've probably been through it all, so that you've like, oh, been through it all, done that, done that.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: And and you've had like not like the big glamorous exit that maybe like other people hear of or think of, and they think like, oh, I'm just gonna exit and it's gonna be this big glamorous, you know, wonderful thing, and I'll get paid a bunch of money and then I'll never work again.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'll just lie in a beach.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe that does happen, but maybe it doesn't, and like you said.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to know how you know you speak about holding it all, and like we even talked about in your intro, you hold so many hats and you're doing so many things.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: How do you hold it all?
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_03: I am very uh grounded in the reality that balance is an illusion.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I skive it's like balanced eating.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I don't like the word balance, keep going.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um at least you didn't ask me how do you do it all, because that's my my least favorite question.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_03: Because by no means do I ever give the illusion that I do do it all.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like I understand as a wife of, you know, a marriage of 12 years, a mother of a three-year-old, CEO now of three businesses, you know, a book, etc., etc., etc., that if I direct my attention over here on this title, then you know, the other plates are gonna slow down somewhere.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_03: So I just have this vision of all of these plates spinning.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_03: And if I'm going over here and pushing it and spinning it faster, then somewhere, some are gonna slow down and others are gonna stop.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_03: And I just understand that my energy, my attention, and my time is so, so sacred to me that everything has to be a full body yes, but by no means am I here advocating to women to do it all, or even give the illusion of giving it all, because I have learned over the past three years very heavily that asking for support, asking for help, bringing on the right people to your board of directors, but also your personal board of directors is so important.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_03: I've had success given to me at a very young age and I wasn't able to hold it all.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_03: And that was a great learning lesson for me that sh okay, great.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_03: I have the strategy, the mathematical equation.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_03: I know how to make women a lot of money.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_03: I know how to make a lot of money, but I wasn't I personally was not ready to hold it, therefore it evaporated.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_03: So that's why I'm able to speak from a place of support, help.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_03: Asking for the right people to come on your board of directors, your personal board is such an important conversation that women need to have and to stop giving the illusion that we can do it all because all that does is make other women feel bad for not being able to do it all.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_03: And that's not part of my purpose in this lifetime.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're not definitely not a one-woman show.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I think maybe women feel like they can't ask for help or they don't ask for help, or they they think they should be able to quote unquote do it all, versus allowing yourself to be supported so that you can do more and do what lights you up and do what you're passionate about.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I love that you use the the plate spinning, even tying in what you were saying before.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think also all the plates you spin are things that you are passionate about and you're chosen, like the projects you work on, the business you have, you're not coming from a place of it's it's not coming from a wound or trying to prove anything or something, you know, you're you're genuinely passionate about this, and you're genuinely passionate about this.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think it's also the permission for women to whatever your version of it all, whether that is multiple businesses, whether that's one business, whether that's kids, whether it's not, whether it's a farm, who, who, whatever it is, it doesn't matter.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: But can you give yourself permission to be supported in that?
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: But also making sure I think all those things are not coming from obligation or because you're looking for them to fill some sort of hole or to to prove something.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_00: It sounds like everything you're doing is also very organic and authentic.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I think when you're coming from an authentic place, things turn out very differently, and you're able to actually spin the wheels, if you will, very differently than if you're actually pushing from an obligation or trying to fill a wound or a hole or looking for that external validation, right?
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like more human beings, not just women, more humans, need to be having the conversations with other humans on how can I support you, how can I be of service, and that not everything has to be a handout, what can you do for me, which I feel like we're in this pandemic right now of what can you do for me, and forgetting that we have been gifted with these dreams, visions, talents, skills, etc., to be of service to the world first.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_03: And we lost that somewhere along the way.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_03: So service and support is a a huge motion for me.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_03: And and I speak about it often, actually.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_00: I actually really want to dive into this because I I love this kind of conversation about this because I do feel, and maybe you've experienced this before, and it's something I've become very cautious about and very boundaried about, and I always trust my gut of like this.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_00: You're right.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_00: There are so many people who are like, what can I get?
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_00: What can I get?
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_00: And it's almost feel like a grasping from you, and maybe you can feel this like I do from like a 10-foot pole of like I can feel when it's not genuine, it's not authentic, when people are coming from this bad energy.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_00: Kind of navigate for us and for everyone like listening, how you've kind of dealt with that because it can be I don't know if you've experienced this for me, very disenheartening when there's so many people who maybe aren't operating in raw or in authenticity, or I think maybe they are like deep down in their heart, but they've been clouded by so much noise or like this fake urgency that makes them perhaps behave in this scarcity way of they're they're trying to grasp because they're they're reaching because they have their own, you know, internal wounds that they're healing.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's not that they're they're bad, but like, you know, that outside wounds make them behave in that certain way.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_00: Kind of like your experience with all this, because yeah, for me, it's been very like where are the raw authentic people?
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I've I remember my mother telling me since I was a very young girl that my view of the world was so different.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_03: She's like, You operate in such an ignorance is bliss.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_03: Like everybody was my friend, you know.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like, are you does that resonate?
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm laughing because Kurt, my fiance, literally says this all the time.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_00: And like, I'll say, like, I don't get it.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_00: Why do people behave this way?
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_00: And like, from my psychology background, I have a degree in psychology.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_00: I understand like the wounds, the trauma that make them behave that way, but my heart doesn't understand.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like, You're just a different human.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you just don't understand why people behave as I'm like, I don't understand, like you just you're different.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm just laughing because I'm like, I I see me in you completely.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_03: And you don't want to let go of that either, because you don't want any kind of like you know, black or darkness to enter into your system.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_03: And I was always really proud of that view that I had of people that everyone was good, everyone was my friend, the world is beautiful, even you know, with the trauma, I was like, great, thank you, let's move along.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_03: The only time that I really had to sit with this is when I became an entrepreneur, which is very interesting because in this world, it feels like maybe women don't operate always as their highest versions of self, and they get really worried about that that scarcity or that urgency, and they forget who they are at their core, which is these beautiful beings filled with service.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that you know, media and a lot of the content that we consume has really inflicted that frame of mind that it's everybody out for themselves, especially in this world.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_03: And I have come across, I think, more careerists and opportunists within the entrepreneurial world than I have ever outside in the real quote unquote world.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_03: And my heart genuinely goes out to the people that show up that way almost without even realizing it.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_03: And you just want to shake them and be like, please, please, like get back to your to your soft caring self.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_03: But I think a lot of the times there are some people that operate in that mindset and get very high up on the totem pole.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_03: And then so other people start to see that as the right way of being without tapping into their inner core, their inner self, their inner calling, and knowing that they can operate differently.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_03: And that to me is another rule of disruption that needs to happen in this industry is leading with service and how can I support you can really be the wave of the future.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_03: And if anybody can friggin' do it, it's women.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_03: So why not do it within our hometown, within our industry, within our businesses, and start leading from that methodology?
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_03: And I find myself more than ever intentionally paying and not just cultivating, but getting into those kinds of rooms with women because the conversations are so different, they're so different.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_03: And we met at one of those events where that mindset was very predominant.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_03: I have, you know, business partners and friends that all came from very similar rooms because it gets to a point where if you're leading with what you can do for me, there's a scent, and people start to put their walls up in terms of what they actually truly, genuinely, authentically want to do for you when you lead with that energy.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_03: So I recommend you check yourself.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_00: How have you kind of kept out that noise?
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because I agree with you.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like there is so much noise, and I would say it's almost even worse for women, or especially women coming out of corporate who believe like they also need to prove it, they need to step on everyone, or there's like this race to the top.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_00: There's like this lack of that, there's not enough for everyone, or even like in the online space, you know, you're in competition with this person.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, how have you really kept your your mind right?
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_00: I know like this is fundamentally who you are, but there is like noise out there.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_00: Have you kind of like kept out the noise and really stayed anchored in that rawness and that truth and that open heartedness?
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no matter what in the world where it seems like this is getting like worse.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_00: If you go onto social media, you scroll, it's like this is wrong with you, this is wrong, if you're not doing it, like you're just bombarded with it every day if you're not like completely clean in that.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you know, I have been backstabbed and stepped on more times than I care to admit, and and by people that um, you know, I've even hired as mentors.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_03: So it's been I'm so glad.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not so glad you're saying this, but I feel like this is the first time I've actually had a conversation who maybe someone has experienced this degree of like backstabbing, horrible, like the stories I could tell of like shock that, like, yeah, you're the first person.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_00: So keep going.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just like, not I'm glad that it happened, but like, oh my God, finally someone else like maybe has experienced what I've experienced.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_00: Keep going.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's been pretty devastating.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_03: And I I healed through that with silence.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_03: Um, obviously with Ryan beside me, but you know, you never want to do any harm to others, right?
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm not gonna I think that women love to sometimes not address the problem head on and instead do reputation damage, and that's not my style.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_03: I address it head on.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_03: But if they're not in a space of understanding what they did, then there's no point in having the conversations, and I will never go outside of anything to try and hurt somebody.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but there is a lot of it in this industry, and what I have learned to my core is that I approach women and conversations and real potential relationships with such an air of transparency and vulnerability because I know that the right women are just gonna connect with it or be repelled by it, you know?
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_03: And I no longer hold back on the traumas and the truths and who I am at my very core because it just allows the relationship to either sever or progress faster.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_03: And because time and energy is so sacred, it's my currency.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_03: Like, do you want to be friends?
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_03: Do we resonate?
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_03: Can we really just love on each other?
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_03: Great.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_03: Let's move forward.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_03: If not, amazing.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_03: Like I wish you, I wish you luck.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_03: But I just come in at such a different energetic field now where I just I don't have anything to lose.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_03: If I gain a friend, amazing.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_03: If I don't, like, see you around.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_03: Wish you the best.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_00: I love that you said that because I've getting burned so many times, it could be easy to say, well, that's why I'm closed off, or it could be easy to close yourself off, or even just not even be open to like new experiences.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_00: Versus, like you said, when you go in and it's all of me, and this like this is it, you're right.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_00: It is so much faster.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's a yes or it's a no.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I I've felt this before.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_00: I know very instantly it's normal, like the degrees, it's not like, oh, maybe it's usually yes, no, yes, no.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like the filter, it goes so much faster.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_00: But like you said, you have to be willing to be that raw, that authentic in all of you, and not let those experiences make you either shut off or make you less of you, or make you then try to fit in or be something that you're not, or or contort yourself in any way, but rather leverage them of like, this is me, everything and everything, take it or leave it.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: No, take it, leave it.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just so much more beautiful.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_00: And like you said, you will attract those people.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure you can also agree too, those experiences.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_00: I know they taught me of like, oh, now what comes in is such a magnitude of like a yes versus a no.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so much more easy.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like something's lukewarm.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_00: Something's lukewarm is usually a no, yes, no.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_00: And it's in that that you can then find that resonance so much quicker.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you get to know the texture, you get to know the frequency, and you're able to trust yourself in that.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_03: Trust yourself, trust God, trust the path ahead of you.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_03: Trust that you are becoming her because you are becoming more of you first.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_03: And I feel like we forget that we don't have to be anything outside.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_03: We just have to continue to peel back the layers of uncovering who we are and leading from that place.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_03: The most beautiful relationships I have in my life currently is because I have been leading more and more with my truth and with my authenticity and vulnerability too.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_03: Because you I just softened into being so in love with everything that has happened for me and the strength that I have realized has come from all of the hardships, the beauties, the losses, and leading with that.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_03: And maybe it was just like I turned 40 and I was like, meh, you know, but really, I'm just in a place now where I respect people, time, and currency so much that it's just easier to operate.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_03: It is so much easier to operate that way.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I love like bringing it back to the authenticity because authenticity is like the most magnetic form like on the planet, when you're actually authentic to you, not what you think you should be or what you think it should look, like, or what you Karen and Sally or Susie are doing, so you think you need to do it too in order to reach that level of success or to do that.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_00: If more women, I feel like just ask, like, is this true for me?
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_00: Right, is this actually me versus putting on and contorting and performing all of these things that they think they need to be in order to get there?
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_00: And being able to honor of like, that is her and her truth, and that's perfect for her.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_00: It may not look that way for me, but like, how can I maybe does that spark something in me or an aspect of me that I actually want to bring out?
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_00: Does that provide an example for me of like where maybe I haven't been as authentic in my vulnerability or as authentic in my power or my goofiness or my whatever it is?
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_00: And this can be in business and money and even in romantic relationships and friendships, it's like, oh, can I use that to be more of me versus getting distracted and using things to be less of you?
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_03: And also having that mindset of like disruption.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_03: I really am for that because if you see something that doesn't fit into your life, your mindset, your equation, then you're probably not the only one.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_03: So giving permission to other people to say no, that doesn't fit in my lifestyle, doesn't fit into who I am, will also give, you know, that availability to other people to say no.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_03: And we have to remember that as women, we have been conditioned and coined.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_03: Sit pretty, right?
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_03: You know, lead with looks, don't talk too much, don't be masculine.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_03: You know, say what you want to say, but make sure you do it gently.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_03: Like that whole, you know, the whole spiel in the Barbie movie.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_03: Like I think about that over and over again, right?
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_03: Like, be powerful, but don't be too powerful.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_03: Watch the way you speak, make sure you're always presenting best face forward.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_03: And I grew up in the modeling industry in my first job ever, I was six days old.
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_03: That's when I started modeling.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_03: So I have been conditioned to always be poised and perfect and et cetera, et cetera.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_03: The day that I disrupt that thought process in my head and did the opposite is the day really that everything changed.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_03: And I feel like if women could just question just ask better questions about their thoughts, about their life, about how they operate, about their business, and then ask even bigger questions after that.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_03: Like continually question what has been inbred generationally, operationally in society, in just ask better questions about yourself.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_03: We don't do that enough.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I love how you bring up even like be powerful but not too powerful in this and this, because within women, this is how women get in their heads and they start overthinking, and then they actually don't know what's authentic because they're trying to filter it through like powerful, not too powerful, do this, do that.
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like you don't have that clear, like, all right, who who actually am I?
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_00: What actually is authentic to me?
• 49:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because the head is full with all these rules, expectations.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_00: Do this, but don't do too much, but do this, but this.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_00: Of course it's noisy.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, you don't know what what's authentic to you because we've spent so much of our lives being like, be like this, but not too much, but this.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_00: If you actually get still, it's like, all right, let's strip all of that away of what actually is authentic.
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_00: I think you might be shocked to see what you find.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_03: And how simple it all could be.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_03: And really, every woman has all the answers she needs within herself.
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_03: We just need to get still and silent enough to listen and then courageous enough to lead from that place every day.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_03: Small choices, medium choices, you know, leading to the big moves.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_03: It's all about that becoming, becoming that version of yourself, stepping into the becoming of the life that you want to live, the regulated, rich system that you want to operate from, and knowing that everything is our choice.
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_03: This is our life, and we get to dictate how we want to lead it.
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_00: I I knew I liked you.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_00: I knew we resonated so much.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just like nodding, like, yes, everything actually saying.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I have one final question for you to kind of tie this all together.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_00: Since this is the Beyond Limits podcast, what does it mean to you to live beyond limits?
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_03: To operate from a place of not knowing and being so confident in that unknown, but having such a sincere belief and trust that you will get there.
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_03: That is what beyond limits are is taking off the boundaries and having a full sense of trust and self that you know you can accomplish whatever you want to become.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_03: Such a perfect answer.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 51:45
  unknown: Okay.
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_00: Let everybody know where they can find you because they're gonna want to find you now and they're gonna want to see everything that you're doing.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_00: So, where can people find you, connect with you, um, and see what you're all about?
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so I'm usually on I G at Ashley Deland, D-E-L-A-N-D.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you can head on over as well to Ashleydeland.com uh where you will see my podcast.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, she wears the pants, which we just had Miss Olivia on, and I can't wait to air it.
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, come say hi on IG.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_03: I'm usually on there in real time, and I'd love to meet you.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, we'll link that obviously down below.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_00: The podcast and also the book Unreserved, which I need to read.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 52:27
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know it was all these like a compile of stories.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_00: So like now I need to read that.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's on Amazon, but really it's like the chicken suit for soul for female founders.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that, right?
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 52:39
  unknown: Okay.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_00: So we'll link that down below.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_00: Ashley, thank you so much for coming on for taking the time.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_00: And also thank you for you.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this has been such a genuine, like authentic conversation.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I'm so glad we met.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad that we're here.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope everyone enjoyed the this episode.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.