Latest / The Standard / From Division I Athlete to Mental Health Therapist — Creating Geared Up | Ep. 45 Mia Zambarano
Transcript
- 0:02SPEAKER_01: All right, perfect.
- 0:03SPEAKER_01: Morning team.
- 0:04SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Standard Podcast, where we raise the bar, rebuild the culture, and call out the lies or misconceptions that nobody else will.
- 0:13SPEAKER_01: This isn't motivation, this is a movement.
- 0:16SPEAKER_01: I'm Thomas Rowe, and I'm joined today by my host, Aaron Charles.
- 0:19SPEAKER_01: And today we're sitting down with Mia Zambarano, an award-winning licensed mental health therapist who has committed her life's work to supporting people experiencing intense pressure and high expectations to overcome anxiety and stress while optimizing their performance on and off the field.
- 0:39SPEAKER_01: As an entrepreneur, mother, and former D1 college athlete, Mia is no stranger to navigating pressure, which has made and she has made it her mission to help others, high achievers, do the same.
- 0:52SPEAKER_01: After her own experiences in college athletics and working with many college athletes and coaches, she realized there was there was an unmet need to in this population services that support and continue to be more reactive than proactive, and athletes continue to hesitate to access them.
- 1:13SPEAKER_01: This led me to create Geared Up, the online mental health and performance training membership designed to satisfy an essential need in a time of change, transition, uncertainty, and insecurity in the field of college athletics.
- 1:29SPEAKER_01: Mia utilizes evidence-based strategies and tools to support athletes in enhancing their mental health and optimizing their performance both on and off the field.
- 1:39SPEAKER_01: We're diving into the truth behind what it really takes to build identity, discipline, and legacy in sports and in life.
- 1:47SPEAKER_01: Let's get into it.
- 1:48SPEAKER_01: Mia, we're super excited to have you here.
- 1:50SPEAKER_01: Thanks so much for joining us today.
- 1:52SPEAKER_00: Thanks for having me.
- 1:54SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
- 1:55SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
- 1:55SPEAKER_01: So you're a licensed mental health therapist who has committed your life's work to supporting people experiencing intense pressure and high expectations.
- 2:05SPEAKER_01: What does raising the standard mean to you in mental health and performance work you're doing right now with athletes?
- 2:13SPEAKER_00: I love that question.
- 2:14SPEAKER_00: I I hate the saying, if it's not broke, don't fix it.
- 2:18SPEAKER_00: Because I think that unfortunately, like we accept things.
- 2:22SPEAKER_00: And there's just this really cool shift that I found in my work where it's not just getting to a baseline, it's getting above and beyond.
- 2:31SPEAKER_00: And there are a lot of things we either take for granted or we don't train enough alongside the important things that we're used to acknowledging.
- 2:37SPEAKER_00: So, you know, especially if you think of in the lens of an athlete, you know that you're going to train your body, right?
- 2:44SPEAKER_00: It's you don't wait to lose a game to start training, right?
- 2:48SPEAKER_00: Whether it's lifting or running or conditioning, like whatever it is.
- 2:52SPEAKER_00: So what I found, like if you talk about what does raising the standard mean, it's not doing the things that just you should be doing.
- 2:59SPEAKER_00: It's going above and beyond.
- 3:00SPEAKER_00: It's understanding that you're training an entire system.
- 3:03SPEAKER_00: You're not just fixing a wheel, you're fixing the entire vehicle to make it operate as seamlessly as possible.
- 3:10SPEAKER_00: And while we're talking about sport, like as a whole person, when you are training yourself as an entire being, as an entire person, everything else will come out of that.
- 3:20SPEAKER_00: I think we take it backwards a lot of times.
- 3:23SPEAKER_00: We're so focused on this thing externally that it impacts kind of the internal process or actually limits us in the process.
- 3:30SPEAKER_01: Totally, totally.
- 3:32SPEAKER_01: And you know, with your experience both on and off the field as an athlete and a therapist, what do you think is the biggest lie the culture of the sports industry has sold athletes about mental health seeking help and what it means to be strong?
- 3:50SPEAKER_00: So in terms of my own experience, we didn't really like it wasn't really a thing when I was playing soccer.
- 4:00SPEAKER_01: Right.
- 4:00SPEAKER_00: Even as someone who is a psych major, like, you know, we didn't we didn't have mental performance.
- 4:06SPEAKER_00: And if you only went to the counseling center if something was really wrong, or like you you failed a drug test or something, that was the only time people like athletes were sent over there.
- 4:15SPEAKER_00: So it it wasn't really a thing.
- 4:18SPEAKER_00: In terms of like myths, I would say that maybe I bought into or was fed.
- 4:27SPEAKER_00: I think that so many things that are abnormal were normalized in terms of like just the intent, like the intense anticipation and like beating up on yourself and just like going going through it, right?
- 4:39SPEAKER_00: Is like I think there's so much value in building resilience, like getting outside your comfort zone and and enjoying things that are hard.
- 4:46SPEAKER_00: I really believe that.
- 4:47SPEAKER_00: I still work with athletes on that to this day, but I think there's a fine line of normalizing suffering that's unnecessary suffering.
- 4:54SPEAKER_00: And especially in the context of either either mental health or mental performance, I think there's just this idea that like, oh, it's just part of the gig and like that's what you go through, and that's being an elite athlete.
- 5:03SPEAKER_00: Like, nope, doesn't have to be.
- 5:06SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
- 5:07SPEAKER_01: You know, so you said something that triggered a conversation I had yesterday with an athlete, and he's training for an Iron Man.
- 5:14SPEAKER_01: And I remember my coach saying, suffer in silence.
- 5:17SPEAKER_01: And I really didn't understand that.
- 5:19SPEAKER_01: And he, you know, the way the way he framed it was like, he's like, look, Tiro, you're the one that signed up for this.
- 5:24SPEAKER_01: You know, so when you're tired, when you're exhausted, when you don't want to go, nobody wants to hear this.
- 5:29SPEAKER_01: You're gonna have to dig deep and find that inner bitch voice or boss voice, right?
- 5:34SPEAKER_01: And so it's a fine line.
- 5:36SPEAKER_01: And I think that with what you do is you bring that out and you can reframe that for athletes because you know how we're told, you know, toughen up, right?
- 5:44SPEAKER_01: Rub some dirt on it.
- 5:45SPEAKER_01: Right, exactly.
- 5:47SPEAKER_01: If you're if you're allowed to reframe it and say, okay, it's okay to feel like that right now, doesn't mean it's gonna be defined my whole day or week.
- 5:54SPEAKER_01: So you're a former Division I athlete and you realize that mental health services for athletes were more reactive than proactive.
- 6:02SPEAKER_01: You just touched on that.
- 6:04SPEAKER_01: And athletes hesitate to access them.
- 6:06SPEAKER_01: What did your own athletic experience teach you that shaped how you now help other athletes?
- 6:13SPEAKER_00: So, what I very much had the experience of being a big fish in a little pond.
- 6:19SPEAKER_00: I was like a star cop soccer player, captain, et cetera.
- 6:23SPEAKER_00: I knew I was I committed to Division I program before my senior even started.
- 6:28SPEAKER_00: And at the end of my senior year, I absolutely annihilated my knee.
- 6:32SPEAKER_00: ACLMC ameniscus.
- 6:34SPEAKER_00: Yeah, just I was heartbroken.
- 6:37SPEAKER_00: I was devastated.
- 6:37SPEAKER_00: It wasn't even a tournament that counted for anything.
- 6:39SPEAKER_00: It was like a fun tournament, got slide tackled from behind, absolutely destroyed my knee.
- 6:44SPEAKER_00: So my college experience, especially the beginning, was this comeback story, was just like trying, like the thing that was my outlet that was the most comfortable that what I was known for, I was now just like trying to climb out of the trenches.
- 6:57SPEAKER_00: And while like I got so much support objectively around like my physical recovery, I did not get any support around like the mental and emotional recovery.
- 7:09SPEAKER_00: And they were there were things that I was up against that I had never been up against, honestly.
- 7:15SPEAKER_00: Like I I was a resilient person and like honestly, having like the interest in psychology.
- 7:20SPEAKER_00: I was journaling before journaling was something that was like talked about all the time.
- 7:23SPEAKER_00: But so I had some of those tools.
- 7:25SPEAKER_00: But what I realized once I got into the field clinically was that this is like a systematic issue.
- 7:32SPEAKER_00: It's like once something's wrong, once it's justifiable, then we fix it.
- 7:35SPEAKER_01: Right.
- 7:35SPEAKER_00: Right.
- 7:36SPEAKER_00: And I realized that we're losing so much ground in that approach.
- 7:40SPEAKER_00: It's like the the trenches are so much deeper when you don't have skill sets or something to reference when you know that you're struggling or like just building yourself up.
- 7:48SPEAKER_00: Like think of a baseline, right?
- 7:49SPEAKER_00: It's like if you start here, you're you're gonna fall somewhere between.
- 7:54SPEAKER_00: But if you're starting down here, that looks like a very different dip or rise.
- 7:57SPEAKER_00: Right.
- 7:58SPEAKER_00: So where my passion became is like starting to, I started, I didn't know I was gonna specialize in working with athletes actually when I went into the field, but I just noticed this thing of like we're doing such good work.
- 8:08SPEAKER_00: We get to the point, like, oh, we're functioning, we're okay, like now it's done.
- 8:10SPEAKER_00: I was like, this seems a little off.
- 8:13SPEAKER_00: Like, why wouldn't you want to kind of optimize like where you could go with this?
- 8:17SPEAKER_00: So when I started working with athletes, they kind of started seeking me out just naturally with like my background and it was on my profile that I was a soccer, like you know, college soccer player and everything.
- 8:27SPEAKER_00: So it was the best work I was doing because I understand it on an experiential level, but I also knew the skill sets that I was equipped with and the modalities I specialized in were so conducive to that population to not just acknowledge, but to problem solve and have homework and have something to do about it.
- 8:48SPEAKER_00: I think that was something that wasn't happening.
- 8:50SPEAKER_00: So I formulated an entire program to basically have that foundational component of it's not just neutralizing, it's excelling.
- 9:00SPEAKER_00: And how do you do that?
- 9:01SPEAKER_00: You equip yourself.
- 9:02SPEAKER_00: Like I said, you wouldn't wait to start practicing or training until you lose a game.
- 9:06SPEAKER_00: Right.
- 9:07SPEAKER_00: Right.
- 9:07SPEAKER_00: Right.
- 9:08SPEAKER_00: So it's kind of off of that fundamental concept of you can survive or you can thrive.
- 9:14SPEAKER_00: And to be able to do that, you have to have the most elite piece of equipment, right?
- 9:19SPEAKER_00: Which is your brain, because you can be as good as they come, you can be as talented or strong or whatever.
- 9:24SPEAKER_00: But if you are your own worst enemy, it's not really gonna matter.
- 9:27SPEAKER_01: 100%, 100%.
- 9:29SPEAKER_01: And you think that I mean, obviously, this is probably a rhetorical question.
- 9:33SPEAKER_01: You being a high performing competitive athlete lends to your credibility when you deal with athletes and coaches and families now, yeah.
- 9:40SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
- 9:41SPEAKER_00: I mean, absolutely.
- 9:43SPEAKER_00: And it's not even me saying it's the feedback I've gotten from my athletes from parents, like the relatability of like understanding.
- 9:51SPEAKER_00: It's different to hear someone speak to you and and teach you something essentially that you know that they've done it.
- 9:56SPEAKER_00: I and I always tell them I'm like, I would never tell you something or or teach you something or or ask you to do something that I wouldn't try myself or do myself.
- 10:07SPEAKER_00: So yeah, there's definitely that component of the relatability of that understanding, even if I'm not like, you know, I'm not giving the gory details, but like they they could kind of understand that aspect of like objectively have been through that cycle.
- 10:20SPEAKER_00: Everyone has different experiences, but I think just that camaraderie of let athletes feel with one another, too.
- 10:26SPEAKER_00: It's just like uh, you know, she gets it.
- 10:28SPEAKER_01: Sure, sure.
- 10:30SPEAKER_01: All right, so we know what Mia has done, and we know what you do and what you've accomplished, but let's find out who you are.
- 10:37SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna turn it over to Aaron for segment two identity, the legacy.
- 10:41SPEAKER_01: Let's find out who Mia is.
- 10:43SPEAKER_01: Aaron, take it away.
- 10:46SPEAKER_02: Okay, Mia.
- 10:47SPEAKER_02: Yeah, now we get to dive into just who is Mia.
- 10:50SPEAKER_02: So I'm just gonna open with that question.
- 10:52SPEAKER_02: I'd love for you to tell our audience who is Mia beyond all the accolades that Thomas shared.
- 10:58SPEAKER_02: Who is Mia?
- 11:00SPEAKER_00: Oh, I this is a fun question.
- 11:03SPEAKER_00: So I'm originally from New Jersey, true New Jersey, Jersey girl.
- 11:07SPEAKER_00: Come from a big family.
- 11:08SPEAKER_00: I'm Greek and Italian.
- 11:10SPEAKER_00: I am very competitive, very disciplined.
- 11:14SPEAKER_00: It's just kind of in my nature.
- 11:15SPEAKER_00: I love having structure.
- 11:17SPEAKER_00: I love connecting with people.
- 11:20SPEAKER_00: My mom always jokes the one call she ever got home for me from school was I was breaking up a fight between like two older kids.
- 11:28SPEAKER_00: So it's just definitely someone who is outgoing in the right scenario and just really love to relate to people, connect with people.
- 11:40SPEAKER_00: I love having my close friends, I love having my family.
- 11:44SPEAKER_00: So that's just a little bit.
- 11:46SPEAKER_02: I love that.
- 11:47SPEAKER_02: You're the peacemaker.
- 11:48SPEAKER_02: You're like, let's break it up.
- 11:50SPEAKER_02: Was it between two girls?
- 11:52SPEAKER_00: It actually was between two boys.
- 11:55SPEAKER_02: Even better.
- 11:56SPEAKER_02: That's a great story.
- 11:56SPEAKER_02: I love that.
- 11:57SPEAKER_00: It's like this little kid on the playground trying to separate it, but here we are.
- 12:01SPEAKER_02: You're like, let's play nice kids, let's just be nice.
- 12:03SPEAKER_02: I love that.
- 12:04SPEAKER_02: So, with that, I love this question for you.
- 12:07SPEAKER_02: You've made it your mission to help high achievers navigate pressure and optimize their performance.
- 12:14SPEAKER_02: What does legacy beyond helping athletes mean to you, especially somebody trying to change how we approach mental health and sports?
- 12:24SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there's there's kind of two sides to this coin for me.
- 12:28SPEAKER_00: There's the piece of the like be who you needed when you were younger and not just younger as a child, but like kind of moving through the ranks.
- 12:35SPEAKER_00: So I take that to heart in terms of like I under, I understand now what would have helped me, and I know how valuable it can be.
- 12:44SPEAKER_00: So there's that piece of like kind of paying it forward and like making a an effect.
- 12:50SPEAKER_00: And it's the coolest thing in the world when the best compliment you could get is when you walk out of a room with like a team or something, and they're like, I want to do what you do, and they're asking me questions, and that's just a really cool thought that things are shifting in that way and people really care and are interested and understand the value of it.
- 13:07SPEAKER_00: The other piece of the legacy is I always talk about like giving the fishing pull rather than the fish, right?
- 13:13SPEAKER_00: It's like if you teach someone to fish, they'll always be able to do that for themselves.
- 13:17SPEAKER_00: If you, you know, you're always giving the fish, you create a dependency.
- 13:20SPEAKER_00: So I love to see things on a systematic level.
- 13:24SPEAKER_00: Like there's so much value in doing individual work, and I do still do that, but in terms of sustainable and long-term impact, you have to see it as a systematic systematic issue, honestly.
- 13:36SPEAKER_00: And that's where a lot of the proactive approach comes in.
- 13:38SPEAKER_00: It's not just on ground level with the athletes, it's with the coaches, is with apartments.
- 13:44SPEAKER_00: It's giving information before it's in crisis and just kind of educating the system again of like where the value is, what reactive versus proactive is, how that you're not just helping the athlete, you're helping that whole person, you're helping an environment, a culture, that just kind of ripple effect.
- 14:04SPEAKER_02: I love that.
- 14:05SPEAKER_02: I love that so much.
- 14:07SPEAKER_02: So you use evidence-based strategies to support athletes in enhancing mental health and optimizing performance.
- 14:16SPEAKER_02: What separates athletes who successfully manage pressure and maintain mental health from those that struggle?
- 14:24SPEAKER_02: And what's the character piece that most people miss?
- 14:30SPEAKER_00: A lot of layers to that question, but I will do my best to break it down.
- 14:34SPEAKER_00: So the the first part of that is I the the word that came to my head is barriers.
- 14:42SPEAKER_00: Or so I live in South Florida, and if you go to rent a speedboat or something, a boat, even just a boat, not even a speed boat, there's something on it called the governor, right?
- 14:51SPEAKER_00: And it keeps you from going over a certain mile per hour, right?
- 14:55SPEAKER_00: It's to protect you.
- 14:56SPEAKER_00: But we all have that.
- 14:57SPEAKER_00: We all have our own built-in governor.
- 14:59SPEAKER_00: And I think that athletes that don't train themselves mentally or emotionally, that can really hinder that fear-based talk, beliefs, assumptions, narratives, and it can absolutely derail and sabotage your experience, your performance, everything.
- 15:14SPEAKER_00: So that's that's one component.
- 15:16SPEAKER_00: And I think when you talk about character traits, I think discipline, but the will, the the ability to have discipline is the willingness to understand yourself and not judge yourself too.
- 15:27SPEAKER_00: It's that resilience factor that when something goes wrong, it doesn't mean everything's wrong.
- 15:32SPEAKER_00: But you have to build that relationship with yourself as well to be able to have those kind of tough conversations within yourself.
- 15:41SPEAKER_02: I love that.
- 15:42SPEAKER_02: I've never heard anybody reference that if is building the relationship with you.
- 15:47SPEAKER_02: And I think that's so powerful.
- 15:49SPEAKER_02: That what a like a unique reference point.
- 15:52SPEAKER_02: I love that.
- 15:53SPEAKER_02: So, what's one truth you wish every athlete, parent, or coach understood about mental health, pressure, and performance that most are not hearing?
- 16:04SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
- 16:05SPEAKER_00: So a lot of times when I ask, like, what do you think of mental health?
- 16:09SPEAKER_00: What is the mental health define mental health?
- 16:12SPEAKER_00: They go to what happens when it's when you're hurting, right?
- 16:16SPEAKER_00: The assumption is mental health is when you're anxious or you're depressed.
- 16:20SPEAKER_00: And the reality is we all have mental health just like we all have physical health.
- 16:24SPEAKER_00: It's something that's part of us, whether or not we like it.
- 16:27SPEAKER_00: So this idea of like, I'll do it when I have to, it doesn't work that way.
- 16:32SPEAKER_00: I mean, at least not to its full potential.
- 16:34SPEAKER_00: You're seriously limiting yourself.
- 16:36SPEAKER_00: There's no downside in training your mind.
- 16:39SPEAKER_00: It's again, we all have a mind, we all have a brain.
- 16:41SPEAKER_00: It's always working.
- 16:42SPEAKER_00: Is it working for you or against you?
- 16:44SPEAKER_00: So just kind of taking away this idea of like, oh, something's wrong with me.
- 16:48SPEAKER_00: I'm doing this, it's actually quite the opposite.
- 16:50SPEAKER_00: You are taking away so many unhelpful vulnerability factors by training this, just like you would take away unhelpful vulnerability factors with your body, by your nutrition, your hydration, like these are all things that you do for your physical health.
- 17:06SPEAKER_00: There are a set of skills that are evidence-based that have been proven to work that you do for your mental health.
- 17:13SPEAKER_00: So I think having that framework shift is a really big piece on the athlete level, on the parent level, on the coach staff, you know, as as far up as you can go, because that understanding needs to be there to have the willingness to not just do it, but to do it consistently.
- 17:31SPEAKER_00: We learn through consistency and repetition.
- 17:34SPEAKER_02: I love that.
- 17:35SPEAKER_02: That's so profound.
- 17:36SPEAKER_02: Such a great insight.
- 17:38SPEAKER_02: And I think you're right.
- 17:39SPEAKER_02: We have an opportunity, I think, to train, you know, the one thing that is always running.
- 17:44SPEAKER_02: It's that we're always using it.
- 17:46SPEAKER_02: And it's the thing that if we don't, then it's like we become reactionary and now we're responding versus we're actually in kind of control or in charge of what's happening and the way we respond to it.
- 17:59SPEAKER_02: So with that being said, Thomas is going to join us again and take you through the advice across all stages.
- 18:06SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
- 18:08SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
- 18:08SPEAKER_01: Thanks.
- 18:10SPEAKER_01: Okay, Mia, if you knew then what you know now, and you could sit down with the Division I athlete Mia, what advice would you give yourself?
- 18:24SPEAKER_00: I would say really focus on the process, not the outcome.
- 18:29SPEAKER_01: Okay.
- 18:29SPEAKER_00: I think in a world where technology can be very insightful, where we it's easy to lose perspective.
- 18:37SPEAKER_00: It's the stats, it's the this, it's the titles, it's that, and just those things come and go.
- 18:43SPEAKER_00: Right.
- 18:44SPEAKER_00: At some point, even if you go professional, even if you go to Olympics, whatever, it's like that will end.
- 18:49SPEAKER_00: And when you really give yourself permission to develop your process as a person, that's what's going to yield the results.
- 18:56SPEAKER_00: I always say the outcome comes out of the process, right?
- 18:59SPEAKER_00: You have to really lean into that.
- 19:00SPEAKER_00: I think that's something that I wish I understood of like, no matter what stage you're in, no matter if you're playing or you're benched or you're this or you're that.
- 19:09SPEAKER_00: Understanding that there's always work to do.
- 19:12SPEAKER_00: And that work, every piece of that work is so valuable to not just who you are as an athlete, but who you are as a person, even more so, honestly, is just something that you always want to buy into.
- 19:23SPEAKER_00: It can't be dependent on an outcome or someone's perception or your coach playing you the whole game or starting you or not, or if you're hurt, then it's over.
- 19:30SPEAKER_00: It just has to be this willingness to buy into your process and each step of the way.
- 19:36SPEAKER_01: Sure.
- 19:37SPEAKER_01: And what about current college athletes who are experiencing anxiety, stress, or pressure, but they might be hesitant to seek help.
- 19:46SPEAKER_01: What do they need to understand about mental health and performance?
- 19:52SPEAKER_00: I I've heard the saying, comes from dialectical behavioral therapy.
- 19:56SPEAKER_00: It says pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
- 20:00SPEAKER_00: Okay.
- 20:00SPEAKER_00: And that might sound invalidating at face value, but pain is inevitable.
- 20:04SPEAKER_00: We're going to go through things, things are going to happen.
- 20:06SPEAKER_00: You're, you know, we're we're wired for survival.
- 20:09SPEAKER_00: You're in an intense environment with high pressure.
- 20:12SPEAKER_00: Things are going to happen.
- 20:13SPEAKER_00: There's nothing wrong with you that it might be hard to respond.
- 20:16SPEAKER_00: There's so many factors, but the suffering is where you almost normalize that pain and keep it and hold on to it and don't do anything about it.
- 20:24SPEAKER_00: So just nowhere to draw the line of understanding and validating that, like, because I feel this way doesn't mean there's something wrong with me.
- 20:30SPEAKER_00: You know, there's always ways to address it, but don't suffer more than you need to.
- 20:36SPEAKER_00: Sure.
- 20:36SPEAKER_00: It's just, you know, you there's always something to do about.
- 20:39SPEAKER_00: There's always help you can get.
- 20:41SPEAKER_00: There's always little steps to take.
- 20:43SPEAKER_00: I know it can feel intimidating, or like, where do I start or what do I talk about?
- 20:47SPEAKER_00: That doesn't have to be an issue.
- 20:49SPEAKER_00: You don't have to know.
- 20:50SPEAKER_00: That that's that's why we're here.
- 20:52SPEAKER_00: You don't have to know what to say.
- 20:53SPEAKER_00: You don't have to understand it even.
- 20:55SPEAKER_00: And that's why it's been really cool creating kind of a systematic approach that does a, you know, every athlete's different, but just to have a framework.
- 21:03SPEAKER_00: And I'm not the only person that does this.
- 21:05SPEAKER_00: Like, there's so many people that have really great programs to operate off of that help guide athletes through these steps, through this understanding, through the self-exploration of becoming curious rather than judgmental of like what's going on, or why might I feel this way rather than I shouldn't feel this way, or this is just it, and I have to get over it and suck it up?
- 21:22SPEAKER_00: That the latter doesn't work, not sustainably, at least.
- 21:25SPEAKER_01: Totally, totally.
- 21:27SPEAKER_01: And you created gear up as a proactive approach to mental health for athletes.
- 21:31SPEAKER_01: What advice would you give coaches and athletic departments about creating environments that support mental health rather than just reacting in time of crisis?
- 21:43SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, I think I think the answer is almost in the question here is like the willingness to acknowledge that it's not an if, it's a when.
- 21:54SPEAKER_00: You're working with athletes who are people, right?
- 21:58SPEAKER_00: And we're all human.
- 22:00SPEAKER_00: And unfortunately, if you look at the numbers, you look at the statistics, there is mental health, there is stuff that's coming up that there's more pressure, there's more components, there's more factors than ever before, no matter what stage of play there is.
- 22:12SPEAKER_00: So your willingness to acknowledge the reality that is right now and equip these kids, adults, whatever it is, just your buy-in is what's that trickle-down effect.
- 22:23SPEAKER_00: Because your athletes could all be seeing people individually.
- 22:26SPEAKER_00: But if that system isn't one that's conducive to support and growth and everything, it's going to be really hard.
- 22:32SPEAKER_00: You're going to be like, basically, you're asking them to run in quicks quicksand.
- 22:36SPEAKER_00: So like they can do the work all day long, but it really is a systematic piece too of like you're not just, it's not, it's not a luxury anymore.
- 22:46SPEAKER_00: It really is something that needs to be in place to grow to full potential as a team, as a program.
- 22:54SPEAKER_00: It's just something that is, I truly believe, is a gift that keeps on giving.
- 22:58SPEAKER_01: Sure, sure.
- 23:00SPEAKER_01: You know, when we first met, we were talking about how sometimes parents live vicariously through their student athlete, right?
- 23:07SPEAKER_01: And sometimes parents could be the problem, or sometimes parents could want it more than their student athlete.
- 23:13SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 23:14SPEAKER_01: What do they need to do?
- 23:15SPEAKER_01: What do parents need to understand about supporting their child's mental health while helping them navigate the pressure and high expectations?
- 23:23SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
- 23:24SPEAKER_00: And you know, it's interesting you see this in wild drop-off in numbers in a certain age range.
- 23:30SPEAKER_00: I think it's like 10 to 13.
- 23:31SPEAKER_00: There's like a 70% drop-off.
- 23:33SPEAKER_00: Right.
- 23:34SPEAKER_00: And what they attribute it to is a number of things.
- 23:36SPEAKER_00: One, obviously, that's a very tough time developmentally, but there's a lot of room for comparison and doubt.
- 23:42SPEAKER_00: There's more pressure, it's more competitive.
- 23:44SPEAKER_00: And as a parent, just meeting where your child is at in the process, you always want to push them and encourage them, but you have to make sure it's where they are, right?
- 23:55SPEAKER_00: If you're you're you're up here and they're here, that that gap is gonna be the the space between that that creates that disconnect, right?
- 24:04SPEAKER_00: So you can help them grow, but maybe it's not so much about like if I'm if I'm a soccer player and I want to be a really good soccer player and I'm just getting started and everyone else maybe has been going, instead of like trying to make them catch up, it's like, what are you what do you feel like you're good at?
- 24:19SPEAKER_00: Like, are you quick?
- 24:20SPEAKER_00: Like how can you make sure you're doing that or like training that?
- 24:23SPEAKER_00: And again, not just for soccer, but in general, like how are you being healthy?
- 24:26SPEAKER_00: How are you?
- 24:27SPEAKER_00: So, like there's so many different ways to like just meet them where it's approachable.
- 24:32SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be comfortable, but just where it's approachable at first, where it makes sense, and encourage them from there because you're essentially giving them life skills at this point, too.
- 24:41SPEAKER_00: So it's it's really meeting them where they're at and understanding again, more leaning into a process than an outcome.
- 24:48SPEAKER_01: For sure.
- 24:48SPEAKER_01: For sure.
- 24:49SPEAKER_01: All right, we're gonna turn it back over to Aaron for segment four, which is the rapid fire round.
- 24:54SPEAKER_01: Aaron, take it away.
- 24:56SPEAKER_02: My favorite segment.
- 24:58SPEAKER_02: Okay, so I'm gonna start a finish our start of the sentence, and you're just gonna finish it for me, okay?
- 25:02SPEAKER_00: Oh boy, all right.
- 25:03SPEAKER_00: Here we go.
- 25:04SPEAKER_02: Here we go.
- 25:05SPEAKER_02: So discipline equals success.
- 25:10SPEAKER_02: Faith equals.
- 25:17SPEAKER_00: So I've so many things.
- 25:19SPEAKER_00: I'm I know I'm not following the rules right now.
- 25:21SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to pick which one I want to say.
- 25:24SPEAKER_02: Well, say them all.
- 25:25SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm like so.
- 25:27SPEAKER_02: People go off the rails and do their own things.
- 25:29SPEAKER_00: You know, I know there's this this this unconditional positive regard that needs to be established, not just that as an athlete, as a person.
- 25:36SPEAKER_00: I think faith is such an incredible component of that and like something that needs to be bought into more across the board, especially with athletes, though.
- 25:45SPEAKER_00: Like there's just such an incredible resilience that comes out of faith.
- 25:49SPEAKER_00: Just like this idea of like I'm always valuable, I'm always supported, I'm always loved.
- 25:53SPEAKER_02: So I love that.
- 25:55SPEAKER_02: I think that's one of the best answers we've gotten.
- 25:58SPEAKER_02: Leadership equals connection.
- 26:05SPEAKER_02: Faith, uh legacy equals impact.
- 26:10SPEAKER_02: What is one thing, Mia, you would never compromise on?
- 26:15SPEAKER_00: Integrity.
- 26:17SPEAKER_02: And if you could put a message on a billboard for athletes today about mental health, what would it be?
- 26:25SPEAKER_02: Start somewhere.
- 26:28SPEAKER_02: That's awesome.
- 26:29SPEAKER_02: Okay, that was my rapid fire round.
- 26:31SPEAKER_02: I'm turning it back over to Thomas for the hot seat.
- 26:35SPEAKER_01: Right on.
- 26:36SPEAKER_01: Mia, thanks so much.
- 26:37SPEAKER_01: You know, what we always like to give our guests is an opportunity to before we wrap it up, is there something that we didn't touch on today that you feel athletes, parents, and coaches or high achievers need to hear about mental health and performance?
- 26:50SPEAKER_01: This is kind of an open floor, whether you have something you want, you talk about your website or whether you want to talk about a book that you've written or anything that it's just just kind of an open floor for you.
- 27:02SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we we've talked about it a bit here, but just really reinforcing this message of there's there's no harm, there's no downside to training your mind and attending to your mental health again, proactively, ahead of like ahead of time, equipping yourself rather than reactively, your mind and body are connected, completely connected, and they're in constant communication.
- 27:27SPEAKER_00: So just understand too, the more you ask of yourself, the more you have to give yourself in terms of that preparation, that those skill sets.
- 27:37SPEAKER_00: So if you're truly wanting the best for yourself or your child or your athletes or whatever it is, just understand the more you ask, the more you have to give.
- 27:47SPEAKER_00: And mental health isn't an inconvenience or on the flip side, mental performance isn't a luxury.
- 27:53SPEAKER_00: It's something that we are all human, and these things will carry and stay with your athlete or as an athlete far beyond playing.
- 28:05SPEAKER_00: So, you know, sports serve as a really cool stage to develop and enhance what your strengths are, but it's just that it's a stage who you are at the end of the day will always walk off that stage with you.
- 28:18SPEAKER_00: So just really kind of thinking of it that way, of just like this inherent ability.
- 28:22SPEAKER_00: And that's why, you know, I try to get creative with bringing it to the athletes again, with without them having to ask for it.
- 28:29SPEAKER_00: So as a team setting, like giving them skill sets and without fail, they end up coming to me more individually because it opens that conversation.
- 28:36SPEAKER_00: So a lot of a lot of assumptions are like, oh, we don't need this, or we already have this.
- 28:40SPEAKER_00: And a lot of it is just again that very like touch and go mention here and there.
- 28:46SPEAKER_00: And it's not it's not consistent where you're kind of reinforcing this narrative of it's not essential, it's not important, it's a little taboo.
- 28:55SPEAKER_00: So just like being mindful that it is an entire system.
- 28:59SPEAKER_00: Our brains learn through consistency and repetition.
- 29:02SPEAKER_00: So what you're training it for is what it will perform with.
- 29:05SPEAKER_00: And again, I'm not just talking about sports, I'm saying in life and like your well-being.
- 29:09SPEAKER_00: And I think we get it backwards a lot of time.
- 29:12SPEAKER_00: We're always shooting for up here without building the foundation.
- 29:15SPEAKER_00: So just understanding that that foundation is your mental and physical health, and they are completely connected.
- 29:21SPEAKER_01: No doubt, no doubt.
- 29:23SPEAKER_01: This is uh, okay, we could talk about ifs and buts, cherries and nuts.
- 29:27SPEAKER_01: As a division one athlete, and now with NIL and transfer portal, how do you would you have transferred?
- 29:35SPEAKER_01: Would you have chased these NIL deals, or would you have stayed put and tried to build a brand where you were at at Sacred Heart?
- 29:45SPEAKER_00: That's a very interesting question.
- 29:47SPEAKER_00: When I was in college, you didn't really transfer.
- 29:52SPEAKER_00: I think I can count on one hand how many athletes I knew had transferred.
- 29:55SPEAKER_00: I think we had one transfer commit.
- 29:57SPEAKER_00: I could I could be misspeaking, but it was not a common thing.
- 30:00SPEAKER_00: It was almost like, you transferred.
- 30:03SPEAKER_00: So it just wasn't really a thing at the time.
- 30:05SPEAKER_00: And I think there was a lot of value to that, honestly.
- 30:09SPEAKER_00: I think that there's a bit of instant gratification that's happening.
- 30:14SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying it's all bad.
- 30:15SPEAKER_00: I do think there is value to it in certain circumstances.
- 30:18SPEAKER_01: Sure.
- 30:20SPEAKER_00: But I do think there's a piece of resilience and like being able to work through hard things and not always look for an easy quote unquote solution or playing the grass the screener game that's happening.
- 30:31SPEAKER_00: Right.
- 30:32SPEAKER_00: I I think that it's it could really hinder, honestly, athletes.
- 30:38SPEAKER_00: So I'm actually grateful that it wasn't even really seen as an option.
- 30:41SPEAKER_01: Right.
- 30:41SPEAKER_00: Um I, you know, hindsight's 2020, so it sounds good now.
- 30:45SPEAKER_00: Who knows what I would have done if that was the case.
- 30:47SPEAKER_00: But I just think there's so much value in giving yourself permission to go through hard things.
- 30:54SPEAKER_00: Again, there's a fine, I'm not saying like toxic or anything.
- 30:56SPEAKER_00: I guess there is definitely a time and place for the transport portal.
- 31:00SPEAKER_00: I think NIL, where you have the support and the proper information, opens up an incredible world of opportunities.
- 31:07SPEAKER_00: But I also think we're giving these things without properly equipping, like we're sending them into the battlefield without the proper, you know, weapons, so to speak.
- 31:17SPEAKER_00: I totally agree.
- 31:18SPEAKER_00: And that scares me a little bit.
- 31:20SPEAKER_00: So I think if we are able to properly arm these athletes and these families, I think it's it's an incredible opportunity.
- 31:28SPEAKER_00: But until we do that, we have to be really mindful of the reality of the situation.
- 31:32SPEAKER_01: Sure.
- 31:33SPEAKER_01: No, I I think you're absolutely right.
- 31:35SPEAKER_01: You know, one of the things Aaron and I talk about is the jury's out.
- 31:37SPEAKER_01: You know, in about five or six years, we're gonna see the pros, cons, or ramifications and the consequences of athletes who have stated a program, right?
- 31:49SPEAKER_01: And built a legacy and built a name for themselves and have deep roots with that alumni and those boosters versus the athlete that just transferred all the all over the place really doesn't have an allegiance or an alliance with one program.
- 32:01SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 32:02SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
- 32:02SPEAKER_00: And there's that connection piece too.
- 32:04SPEAKER_00: I appreciate you brought up.
- 32:05SPEAKER_00: It's really hard to feel connected to the people around you, and that's such an incredible support system.
- 32:09SPEAKER_00: So that like kind of next thing, or like kind of just going here and there, I've noticed that that does impact team dynamic, people feeling less connected and that that kind of camaraderie that's so valuable when you have to fight and in those tough moments.
- 32:22SPEAKER_00: So that's that's a very important point as well.
- 32:25SPEAKER_01: Sure.
- 32:26SPEAKER_01: All right, the hot seat for Mia art imitating life.
- 32:30SPEAKER_01: What are Mia's top three sports movies of all time?
- 32:35SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, top three sports movies.
- 32:40SPEAKER_00: I gotta love remember the Titans.
- 32:42SPEAKER_00: I feel like I'm gonna miss one.
- 32:44SPEAKER_00: There's so many.
- 32:46SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
- 32:49SPEAKER_00: And then I I hate to say I love she's the man.
- 32:55SPEAKER_00: I just like it's something we would always watch that was just like a such a funny movie, but like resonated.
- 33:02SPEAKER_00: So I guess those would be some there's so many.
- 33:06SPEAKER_00: Totally.
- 33:06SPEAKER_00: I'm probably missing gold right now, but yeah.
- 33:09SPEAKER_01: You're not gonna throw ladybugs in there.
- 33:11SPEAKER_01: Wasn't that the soccer movie?
- 33:14SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yes, yeah.
- 33:18SPEAKER_01: I always put people on the spot on that one.
- 33:20SPEAKER_01: And I if I'm if memory serves me correctly, she's the man.
- 33:24SPEAKER_01: The what I owned a gym out in LA, and the writer actually came and he was way ahead of his time when he put that movie out.
- 33:31SPEAKER_01: But as far as like, you know, I I always follow up with you, you hit it on the head.
- 33:36SPEAKER_01: Miracle for me is number one, two is Rocky, three is Hoosier's.
- 33:39SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
- 33:40SPEAKER_01: You know, and everything else is kind of an honorable mention.
- 33:43SPEAKER_01: There's so many great sports movies, you know, that they kind of resonate with people.
- 33:48SPEAKER_01: You know, when we get it's it's funny when we get like we'll get a baseball player on and he'll just say nothing but football.
- 33:54SPEAKER_01: And we're like, wait, hold on a second, you played baseball, and he goes, Exactly.
- 33:58SPEAKER_01: I didn't want to watch baseball movies, right?
- 34:03SPEAKER_01: So where can people get a hold of you?
- 34:06SPEAKER_01: Whether it's your website, your social media, your LinkedIn.
- 34:10SPEAKER_01: How do how can people find you?
- 34:13SPEAKER_00: So I am on Instagram as the mental performance expert.
- 34:19SPEAKER_00: My website, easy enough, the mental performance expert.com.
- 34:23SPEAKER_00: LinkedIn, I'm Mia Gardner slash Zambrano.
- 34:27SPEAKER_00: So you can find me anywhere.
- 34:28SPEAKER_00: I'm always happy to connect, always happy to answer questions.
- 34:31SPEAKER_00: I offer free consultations, whether it's for a parent asking questions or an athlete to ask questions or a program.
- 34:39SPEAKER_00: So happy to answer questions, happy to connect.
- 34:42SPEAKER_00: Feel free to connect with me, follow me on any of those platforms.
- 34:46SPEAKER_00: And yeah.
- 34:48SPEAKER_00: Awesome.
- 34:49SPEAKER_00: I also have, I actually also have my performance quiz.
- 34:52SPEAKER_00: So if you're interested in finding what your mental performance score is, you can go right to my website.
- 34:58SPEAKER_00: You can take the quiz, give you your score, and and yeah, it's always a good place to get started.
- 35:03SPEAKER_00: Awareness is always the first place you have to be willing to look at what's going on for yourself to know where you can grow.
- 35:08SPEAKER_01: Totally agree.
- 35:09SPEAKER_01: Tell them the website again.
- 35:11SPEAKER_00: It is the mental performance expert.com.
- 35:15SPEAKER_01: Cool.
- 35:16SPEAKER_01: Cool.
- 35:16SPEAKER_01: Mia, thank you for changing how we think about mental health and performance for athletes on and off the field.
- 35:23SPEAKER_01: And team, if this conversation hits you, do two things for us.
- 35:26SPEAKER_01: One, share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.
- 35:29SPEAKER_01: An athlete struggling with pressure and anxiety, a parent supporting their child's mental health, or a coach who wants to create a better environment for their athletes and to connect with Mia and learn more about Geared Up.
- 35:42SPEAKER_01: If you're a college athlete or a high achiever looking for proactive mental health and performance training, Mia provides evidence-based strategies to help you navigate the pressure and optimize your performance.com.
- 36:02SPEAKER_01: We help athletes build identity, discipline, and legacy that goes well beyond the game.
- 36:08SPEAKER_01: And if you get if you're ready to get a little bit more clear on your game, join us for our three-day week uh reset.
- 36:14SPEAKER_01: It's a win play show.
- 36:16SPEAKER_01: If this episode has resonated with you, leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
- 36:22SPEAKER_01: It helps us reach more athletes, parents, and leaders who need to hear this message.
- 36:27SPEAKER_01: This is the standard podcast, and this movement only grows when we raise the standard together.
- 36:33SPEAKER_01: Talent fades, but truth endures.
- 36:36SPEAKER_01: Let's raise the bar, rebuild the culture, and become the standard.
- 36:40SPEAKER_01: Mia, Aaron, thank you so much for joining us.
- 36:42SPEAKER_01: We'll see you next time, team.
- 36:43SPEAKER_01: Thanks so much.
- 36:48SPEAKER_01: Awesome.