Latest / Our Community, Our Mission / Ep #227 – Faith and Recovery: Kenny's Transformative Path

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Ep #227 – Faith and Recovery: Kenny's Transformative Path · Our Community, Our Mission

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Lord, we are grateful.
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: We are grateful for this day.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: We're grateful that we have the opportunity to worship you and give glory to you on each and every day.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Lord, we would just ask that you bless our time together on the podcast this morning, that you give a special blessing to our guest.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Give him all of the words that you need him to share for the people that are listening.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: We are grateful and we love you In Jesus' precious name, amen.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Hello everybody.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: You're listening to Our Community, our Mission, a podcast of the Topeka Rescue Mission here on Wednesday special day, june 19th.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: We'll talk about that in a minute.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: This is episode number 227.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: This is Barry Feaker, your host today, with Miriam Crable, who's deputy director of the Topeka Rescue Mission.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: I said all that without even stuttering once and barely took a breath.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Okay, here we go.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: And Miriam was also the one who prayed today, so thank you for opening up our podcast today, miriam.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: We have a special guest.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: We just love this guy and we have a special guest we just love this guy and we do, and LaManna is not with us today.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: She's doing some other things that she couldn't join us, but she will be with us, I believe, next time, absolutely, and so.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: But she blessed this guy on her way out and how much she loves him and we do too, and he's been on the podcast before.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: But we want to get to some other things right now.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Today is Wednesday, june 19th, which is a special day called Juneteenth.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: It is Really special day.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: It's a holiday now.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: It is a holiday.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: Federal holiday and you know we look at 1865 as being monumental because on February 1st of 1865, Abraham Lincoln signed the papers for the 13th Amendment to abolish slavery in the United States Very important date in this nation.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Took a very long time for that to happen, yeah, but that did not necessarily get communicated to African-American slaves across the country Right Until June 19th Right Of 1865.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: So it took some time.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: They didn't have the internet back then, did they?
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: No, they didn't.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: So what we have is this celebration of this day.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Why do they call it Juneteenth?
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: Because it was the month of June on the 19th Right.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: So Juneteenth, if you didn't know that already.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: But it is really an important day to say that the next step in abolishing slavery in the United States was initiated that day abolishing slavery in the United.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: States was initiated that day.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: Some people are calling it Freedom Day.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: It's hard to imagine that we had slaves in the United States of America when we look around today, but it was a part of our heritage.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: It was a part of our sad heritage, and there is still this striving to try to help us all, to be together, to be free for everybody.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Sure together to be free for everybody and the consequences and the ramifications of that, of that part of our history are still affected us today.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: You know, I growing up didn't even know about Juneteenth.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: I was not.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: I didn't learn about it in school.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: I didn't really ever hear about it till I lived in.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Texas, and so this would have been like in the 80s, 1980s yeah, that dates me a little bit, but it was.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: It was so amazing to me that, you know, we think about when Lincoln signed the proclamation, right, but then it took years for people to understand that and and honestly, barry, I think in some ways we're not even there yet.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: You know, when I talk to some of my friends they talk about how different it still is, right In terms of how people talk with them or consider them, or still don't have a complete understanding about what slavery meant to other people, what it means to us now what it means in terms of how we view different people, and so I think we still have a long way to go.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: You know, because slavery had been around in the United States so long, it was probably just unbelievable.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: On June the 19th, when a General Gordon Granger rode into Texas to let the slaves know they'd been freed 155 years ago, that they had been freed, and they were probably wondering is this true?
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: I mean, could this really be the case?
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: Right Again, there was no communication styles like we have today, but it was in February of that year, on the 1st of February, that Abraham Lincoln did go ahead and sign the papers for abolishing slavery, but it took that much longer for the folks down in Texas to hear about it.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: Well, and you know, just signing that paper didn't change people's hearts.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: It did not, right?
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: So even thinking about being released like that and being told you're free when number one you haven't been free for long, long, long generations right All your life or something.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: And then what?
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: What do you do?
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Because if people's hearts don't change, it doesn't really mean a whole lot.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: And they didn't change necessarily and still still probably haven't.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's why we need to celebrate today.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: This is, this is important that Juneteenth is a recognition of really freedom for everybody in the United States, particularly those who had been in bondage of slavery, and we pray that never happens again ever For sure.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: On another note and we like to kind of bring up the special things it's International Box Day today, miriam.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: And I'm sure you know what International Box Day is.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: I have no clue what International Box Day is.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: But you know, I've got this piece of paper.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: Our research department is really stretching it out here for this kind of stuff.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: So when they're over here just grinning like crazy like we've really found something really important here.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: So what is International Box Day about, miriam?
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Okay, it, oh my, oh, my goodness, okay.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: Well, it really is only important if you have a cat.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: Why.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Well, have you never had a cat Barry?
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: You know I have had outdoor cats but they were not permitted in the house for very long.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: Okay, and for all you cat lovers.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, they were outdoor cats to start with, okay, Well and it's okay.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: I inherited them.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: It's okay to have outdoor cats, so have you not ever seen A cat with a box?
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: I think that's where they do their stuff right, well, not that box.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: It's called a cat litter box right.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Not that box, Barry.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: No, I'm just talking about a cardboard box Like that.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: You get your Amazon stuff in All.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: right, enlighten me.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: Cats love boxes, why they play in them.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they play in them.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: It's like the most incredible toy to them.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: So do grade school boys.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: I mean they play in boxes too.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: That's exactly what they are.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: I mean I play in boxes.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: That mean I'm a cat.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: You know, Barry, I can't speak to that.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: Gotcha on that one.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: No, I'm a dog lover.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: But for all you cat folks.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: So they like boxes, so International Box Day was created for cats.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Apparently, that's kind of what.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: So on International Box Day we celebrate the fun and joy of this incredible pairing, this pairing of cats and boxes.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: Well, okay, okay.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: This could not be more random.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: This is very random.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: Research department is really needing to work a little harder, but anyway, but they did tie it together very well with also another national day of a special cat.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: What's the name of that cat?
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: Well, that cat would be Garfield Garfield yes, now, that cat I'm familiar with.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: Are you.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: That's a cat with an attitude.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: That I was going to say slightly grumpy.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: That cat would probably say I want a different box, I want a box that looks like this.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: And go get me the box now.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, yeah, so, anyway.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: So those are the two very non-consequential days that we've recognized today, but Juneteenth is definitely the day we want to recognize.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: You know, there's various forms of freedom, miriam, and and sometimes it's freedom from slavery or different kinds of bondages.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: Some of that is addiction Individuals who experience homelessness if you are unhoused, to be free, to get a house.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: I mean that's huge and we get a chance, freedom from hunger, freedom from different things.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: And so not that they're all on the same level, but there is a different thing when you were this way at one time and you didn't see any hope, and then now you have hope.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: And so, speaking of hope, we got a guy with us today by the name of Kenny Ball.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: I think he is a inspiration of hope that has been involved with Topeka Rescue Mission for a long time.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: Kenny, you've been on our community, our mission.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: I know I sat next to you on a Daniel Norwood radio program one time.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: You also spoke last year in front of a whole bunch of people at an event for Topeka Rescue Mission.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: And so did you ever think, Kenny Ball, that you would be on radio, on podcast, standing in front of those people in church speaking and sharing your story?
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: I had not a clue.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: Not a clue, not a clue, not a clue, but I'll tell you what it was a blessing.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: So, Kenny, today, for the last four years you've been working at Topeka Rescue Mission on the front desk.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: For a couple of years prior to that, you were working over at let's Help.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: But roll the clock back for those that don't know you what your journey was like before Topeka Rescue Mission and before, in a day when you didn't have much hope.
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: Well, for 43 years I struggled with addiction to heroin and meth 43 years, 43 years.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: I'll be 64 this coming September, 12th, okay, which is also my hire date, by the way.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: Awesome Big rescue mission.
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: I think I'm the only employee there that got hired on their birthday On their birthday.
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: Anyway, for 43 years I struggled with addiction and on October 21st I want to say of 2014, was the first time I cried out.
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: I cried out for help.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: How'd you cry out for help and why I?
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: literally cried out.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: I don't know if you guys remember Justin Hossman.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: Justin Hossman came over to a place that I was camped out at after being strung out for several days.
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: He'd come over there and he ministered to me and I still remember where this place was, right here in North Topeka, just around just cattywampus from the mission.
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: You were living outdoors at that time.
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: I was living outdoors and he'd come up there and he ministered to me and he told me about this place called Vallejo and he says if you want help and by that time I was already in tears I was already in tears.
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: So, yes, I want the help.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: I don't want to live like this, no more.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: So it's been 40 plus years.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: And why that day?
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: Would you say?
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: What made the difference?
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: What made the difference that day was Justin Hossman.
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: He came in and I still, to this day, don't know how he found me.
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: I don't, that had to be a God thing.
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: He found me and he spoke to me.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: He didn't talk to me, he talked with me.
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: Do you understand what I'm saying?
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: Justin was the director of the Street Reach Program at Topeka Rescue Mission at the time.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: An awesome individual.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: So, kenny, you were familiar with Topeka Rescue Mission before that encounter with Justin.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: Yes, right, had you been to the rescue mission before to stay?
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: Had you tried to stay?
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: Well, I tried to stay.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: Uh-huh, what happened?
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: Why were you not successful in maybe receiving help through the rescue mission or Vallejo up?
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: to that point.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: Well, the mission had always been there for me.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: They would always reach out to me, but my addiction kept calling me.
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: Like I said, that was the first time I cried out.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: It wasn't the only time I cried out, but it was the first time I cried out and it was a process for me.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: So your addiction kept calling you and I think that anybody that knows anything about addiction it calls you in kind of unique ways is that, uh, it's your best friend that can take away the pain?
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: Um, it can uh make the world better for a moment, uh, but not only that.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: It's just almost impossible to get away from, especially that long.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: Kenny, do you remember when you first started having a dependency upon heroin and other drugs?
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, what happened?
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I was strung out at an early age, and when I say early age, I was strung out by the time I was 25.
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: I was 25 when I was already.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: I had In my mind I had to do stuff to survive.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: I had to do that to survive.
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: I didn't know how to survive without it because I'd done it for so long.
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: It was part of me.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: Part of you.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: That's sad.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: Did you hate it and love it at the same time?
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: Exactly, exactly.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: What did you hate about it?
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: I hated all the stuff that came with it, and what I mean by the stuff that came with it.
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: I hated being homeless.
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: I hated not having a job.
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: I hated not having any associations with anybody.
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: Nobody wanted to speak to a dope fiend like me Because I was that bad.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: So what did you love about it?
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: I loved the feeling of it.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: What was the feeling like as you could describe it to me Euphoria.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: Euphoria with a price.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: Euphoria with a price.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: Euphoria with a price, and that price was demanded.
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: It wasn't asked for.
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: It was demanded if you understand what I'm saying.
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: It was a price to pay, price that was demanded to be paid.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: Kenny, do you remember a time before you're 25 or years or so when you became an addict?
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: At that time, do you remember what it was like even before that, when you weren't an addict?
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: I really can't remember.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so it really took away your early part of your life.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: So there are a lot of people who haven't experienced addiction, probably go.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: How in the world could a person ever get to that place of addiction?
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: What would you say to them?
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: I would definitely say do everything in your power to turn away and get away from the people that are associated with that stuff.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: So, in this regard, you think it was partly because of the people you knew and they introduced you to substances that gave you that euphoric feeling, so it was part of your associations.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: So it resulted in your inability to hold down job, to be homeless, but yet that addiction was such a strong thing I mean, that's over four decades it's powerful.
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: It's very powerful with me, kenny.
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: I remember over four decades.
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: It was powerful, very powerful with me, kenny.
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: I remember Especially when I started using heroin.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm, that grabbed a hold of me.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: So some people say how in the world did you get those drugs?
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: How did you find?
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: Because they weren't free.
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: No, they certainly wasn't free.
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: So if you couldn't hold out a job.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: How are you getting it?
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: I was doing anything and everything I could.
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: Mm Okay, so not always.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: Hustling, stealing, you know, putting my hands on myself, that wasn't mine, something I'm not very, very, very, very proud of at all.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: And Kenny, you know we're not here to glorify all that, but what we are here to do is to show the Kenny today.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: But sometimes it's good to understand the Kenny.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: That was the Kenny.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: That is no more.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: Kenny's never going to be like that again.
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: Right, you got that right, kenny.
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: There were times I remember you and I were talking before we started.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: The time that I recall meeting you for the first time was on Christmas day.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: You came in for a meal at the rescue mission.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: You had strong campfire smell on you, but I remember this really nice guy and you were pretty strung out when you came in that day.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: But I remember a really nice guy and you and I got to know each other off and on over a period of years.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: And I know one thing that I always saw about you whenever I'd see you in the streets was that you were just a friendly, loving guy.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: Never saw you mean, never saw you.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: Now I understand there were a few times, right.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: One time when you kind of reached over the front desk at the rescue mission and tried to choke the guy out.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: Did you ever think you would be that guy?
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: I had a temper.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: I had a temper If I was provoked, I had a temper.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: But you're one of these guys that I thought was probably were going to find you someday and you wouldn't be breathing anymore.
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: But God had a plan for you to keep you moving.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: So you came in and out of the rescue mission.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: How many times?
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: Oh, I ain't got enough fingers and toes to count the time A bunch, huh, a bunch, yeah, and so it just didn't stick.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: But that day that Justin Hossman came by, there was something different about that day.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: You said he spoke to you, he ministered to you, he told you about Vallejo, what happened from there.
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: Well, from Vallejo I went and I did the 28-day program there, what they called reintegration, and after reintegration I got out and I came back to the mission and I stayed for three, I think almost four months and I relapsed again, but it just wasn't the same.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: It just was not the same.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: What do you mean?
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: It wasn't the same.
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: It wasn't the same high.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: Something was happening, something was going on.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: Something was going on because I couldn't achieve that again and I bounced back and forth in and out of the mission, in and out of the mission and kind of fast forwarding to January 21st of 2019,.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: I remember being up under the Kansas Ave Bridge looking back at the mission.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: This is when the Gamble and Robinson building was back there behind the mission or beside the mission, and I was looking back toward the mission from my place underneath the Kansas Ave Bridge.
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: I cried out the last time to God.
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: I cried out and said, god, if you get me back into that mission, I'll do whatever it is you want me to do to beat this thing.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: What did you think the mission was going to be?
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: The place you needed to go for that?
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: Because that's what God told me.
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: How did he tell you that he spoke to my heart?
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: That's a place you needed to go.
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: He spoke to my heart.
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: That's a place you need to go.
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: He spoke to my heart.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: That's where I needed to go.
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: So, kenny, you came back.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: For who knows how many times you really felt like God was drawing you here.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: But it wasn't just for another stay.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: You came back to eventually take the next steps, to be a staff member.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: What?
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: do you?
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: do as a Topeka Rescue Mission staff member today, and I want to hear from you, and then Mary and I are going to tell you what we know about you.
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: So what is your?
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: job.
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: I work the front desk.
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: I do anything from registrations to intakes, to security, to when the COVID pandemic was up and off.
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: I was even ministering to the guests that were in quarantine and isolation, which was an awesome job, and just a whole gamut of things that I do there at the mission.
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: The main one I really like to do is the intakes and the registrations, where I can actually share some of my story with these guys, so somebody coming right in off the streets that have been where you were, that are at where I once was.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: That's the biggest blessing.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: That's why I love doing that.
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: I would do that for free, so you like this job now that?
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I would.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: I would do that for free, so you like this job now you would do that for free.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: We'll talk to the HR department about that, Miriam.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: When you think of Kenny Ball, you've known Kenny for a number of years now what comes to your?
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: Mind.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: You know, I think Kenny just has the most unbelievable, unbelievable depth of joy.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: So when I see him he makes me happy.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: You know, it's just his.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: His presence is just filled with joy.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: But here's my, what I would say.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: Maybe my most powerful memory of Kenny is and it'll probably make me cry because you know LaManda's not here, so I'll take up that space Is when we had a young man in the back of the mission that was struggling and became pretty violent and we had some staff that got hurt.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: Kenny was one of those right.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: This young man was struggling, right, he was broken, but how our team responded was beautiful.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: But here's what I remember about Kenny it was a few days later and this young man came back for food and he was on restriction because he had not acted appropriately.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: Kenny took, so this young man is out, away from the mission.
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: Somebody who had hurt Kenny, who had hurt Kenny Physically.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Physically hurt him.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: Kenny took a sack lunch and went out and talked to this guy Right Like, showed him that God loves him.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: Kenny just was Jesus in that situation, right.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: Jesus shone through Kenny in ways that we may never know.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: The young man now is doing time and so he's still struggling, but Kenny showed how much Jesus loves all of us.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: That's my favorite memory of Kenny.
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: I didn't know, you knew that.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: You know, kenny, hearing that story Miriam sharing with you and how it impacted her, you probably got to know that that guy who was really struggling that day and who became violent, it's not a one and done and he's fixed just because you gave him a sack lunch.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: I know that it's a journey, isn't it?
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: It's a journey.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: You know, kenny, you heard me tell that and I know you're going to be okay with this.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: At least you were before me telling you about when I picked you up for a ride.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: One time former staff member and I were headed South on Topeka Boulevard.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: It was snowing pretty cold out and I was on Topeka Boulevard, it was snowing pretty cold out.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: And you were walking on the other side of the street going north and you were very thin and you were shaking because of the addiction and it was cold.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: And I told the other staff member.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: I said there's Kenny Ball.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: Today he may die.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: It's this bad out and because I was expecting to find your body someday and I felt like the Holy Spirit goes, not today, he's not going to die Go, turn around, pick him up.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: And I was saying, well, I've got to get somewhere.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: And so I told the other guy.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: I said I think we're supposed to pick Kenny up.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: And so we pulled around.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: I remember rolling the window down and says hey, kenny, need a ride.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: And you said yeah, you hopped in the car and you said thank you so much.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: And I said where are you going?
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: And you told me you're going to work.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: And I said great, you got a job, that's awesome.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: And so I said where is it?
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: And as we're driving north, you said well, and I won't name the establishment right now, but it was a tavern and strip bar.
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: And I said what?
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: And you remember this day?
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, and I'm struggling Like how am I going to take Kenny Ball to a strip bar?
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: That's where he's working Broad daylight, right.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: And so the guy with me was like, oh, how are you going to get out of this one?
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: And I remember what you said.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: You said to me Barry, if that's not okay, you can let me out and I can walk.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: Well, it's snowing outside and you, you know you're still in your addiction and you were hurting, but you were so courteous to me and I don't know if you remember this part, kenny, but I thought, man, I got to figure a way to not do this deal.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: And I said, kenny, if you will come into the rescue mission today, I will pay you your next month's wages.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: And then I thought, why did I say that?
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: I don't know how much he makes?
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: And then I said what do you do there?
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: And you said you were the bouncer.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: You cannot be the bouncer there.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: And uh, I thought in your physical condition at the time, and uh and uh, you said to me you would actually do that for me.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: And I said yeah, and again I'm questioning should I have really said that?
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: And then you said to me thank you so much.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: It means a lot, but I can't do that.
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: And I said to you why can't you take a free month's wages and come to the rescue mission.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: And this is where I learned something from you, a big lesson, as you said.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: I promised those people I'd give them a two weeks notice and I thought what?
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: In spite of addiction, in spite of homelessness, in spite of everything that you've been going through, in spite of sometimes you being a knucklehead- there's a man here, who's a man that's got character.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: And so I thought, well, how come I'm not letting him out in the cold?
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: So I drove you up to that place and you got out and said thank you so much, and I'm looking around to see if he's watching me coming out of the parking lot of this place.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: Right, and I came back and went on to the next meeting.
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: You came into the mission that night, you worked the next two weeks and then you came to be at the mission after that.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: Here's what you never took me up on.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: I offered you a whole month and you only worked two more weeks.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: So you never charged me for the other two weeks and I have not brought that up publicly until today.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: So anyway, and now we have it on tape and we have it on tape.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: So I owe you, brother Kenny, you taught me something and so oftentimes, Miriam, people that we think we're helping help us to see something.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: Oh, my goodness, yes.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: And, sure enough, you kept that commitment and came on back to Topeka Rescue Mission and you've shared that story with us.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: So, kenny, what's it like being the other side of addiction today?
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: You like your job, you like what you're doing at the mission, you like encountering people who are coming in, but there seems to be such a joy about you almost nonstop and everybody says that what is it?
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: I'll tell you exactly what it is On.
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: What is the source of my joy right now, and has been since the 31st of December of last year, was God brought my daughter back into my life After 35 plus years we've been apart.
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: She found me on Facebook.
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: She found me and we've been talking and connected ever since, and that is the source of my happiness, and the main source of that is God.
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: God brought her back into my life.
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: That was a total God thing and that just turbocharged my joy, my happiness.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: You had a special opportunity this last April with your daughter Talk about that.
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: I got to spend two weeks with her.
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: I flew to Tyler.
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: I flew to Tyler, texas, and got to spend two weeks with the most beautiful daughter in the world.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: So powerful.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: That's wonderful so powerful.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: So what was that visit like?
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: I couldn't hardly sleep for the first few days I was there.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: We sat and talked.
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: We had seven or eight heart-to-hearts, and what I mean by heart-to-hearts?
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: We poured out our heart to each other tearfully.
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: I got to be careful.
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: It'll get me teary-eyed now.
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: We connected and we talked.
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: We have talked or texted multiple times every day since that day.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: There is not one day gone by that we haven't talked or texted each other.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: And.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: I don't see it ending anytime soon.
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: That is so beautiful.
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: She's coming out here between August 1st and the 5th.
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: She's coming out here and she's going to stay with me for a couple of weeks and then she's moving to her aunt's in Columbia, missouri.
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: I want to say it's exactly a little bit north of Columbia.
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: It's in a town called Macon.
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: Macon, missouri, is where she's going to be living.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: That's wonderful I cannot wait.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I cannot wait, Miriam does it get any more beautiful than that?
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: No, it does not.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: It does not.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: Look at what God did, right, that's all God.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: Look at what God did.
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: That's all God.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: I think one of the things I was behind the mission that Miriam talked about.
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: He's incarcerated right now and he's on his journey, but the decision will be up to him if he wants to humble himself before the Lord and I think that's a story in the Bible about what's called the prodigal son you know that this son humbled himself and he came back to his father, which was a representation of God, and the father didn't judge him.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: The father didn't accuse him of being a waste of anything, he just embraced him with love and acceptance.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: And so all those years, god was waiting on you and you said, okay, I'm ready.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: And he said let's do it.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: And now this and now this exact.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's remarkable when you think how long you were in your addiction.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: The fact that you're sitting here is amazing.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: The fact that you are employed is amazing.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: But how beautiful that there is this restoration of your relationship with your daughter.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: But how beautiful that there is this restoration of your relationship with your daughter.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's definitely the cherry on top, isn't it?
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: Exactly, yeah.
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: I can't remember the exact street sign and address, but in the Bible it talks about God gave us the ministry of reconciliation.
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: Yes, Jesus is a ministry of reconciliation and he passed that on down to us.
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: I think it's in one of them, their Corinthians you know, but that's that's proved proving of his ministry of reconciliation with me and my daughter, sure Sure.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: That's just so wonderful.
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: I'm so happy for you.
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: I still remember my little baby, when I could hold her in both my hands.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Not, not quite so much anymore.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: She's grown a little.
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: She's grown my little baby when I can hold her in both my hands.
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, not quite so much anymore.
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: Huh, not so much anymore.
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: She's grown a little.
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: She's grown a little bit.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: Anyway, I never cease to amaze how God just brings timing together.
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: I'm actually doing a wedding ceremony and I'm using this scripture here.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: Just like you said, anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: The old person life is gone, a new life has begun, and all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ, and God has given us the task of reconciling people to him.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: Just like you're talking about, for God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people's sins against them, and he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: So we are Christ's ambassadors.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: God is making his appeal through us.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: Kenny Balls, we speak for Christ when we plead.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: Come back to God, for God made Christ, who never sinned, to be an offering for our sins so that we could be made right with God through Christ.
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: Second Corinthians, 5, 17 through 21.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: Yep, you're right, you had the right street address and so love that passage.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's beautiful, kenny you, what we shared here this morning is that you have a powerful testimony.
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: Do you realize that your testimony and what you not only have been through, but what you have come out of?
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: Do you get a glimpse of the impact that that has with these guys who are coming in that meet you?
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: I pray it makes an impact on them.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: Do you see it sometimes?
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I do.
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: I get to see it sometimes.
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: How do you see that?
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: I see it in some of the way.
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: The guys smile at me when they find out what God's brought me out of, what he's brought me out of, when they look at me and go, wow, I get that a lot, I get a wow a lot.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: Sure.
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: Because God's brought me out of a ton of stuff and so it gives that individual hope as well.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: Exactly, and then you get the really cool thing of sharing them about God and about Jesus Christ and who's made the difference.
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: I know when you got your house for the first time, the first piece of furniture that you wanted in it was a cross.
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's still there, still there, still there, and it's still there, still there.
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: And it's at the highest place in my house, by the way, too, it's the highest up on the wall Little purple cross that Amanda got me.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's wonderful.
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: So, brother, where do you think things are going for you from here?
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: Up.
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: Up.
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: Up.
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: Yep, they're totally and completely going up at a rapid rate.
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they're totally and completely going up at a rapid rate.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: Well, kenny, thank you for saying yes to the Lord, for not only your sake, but for many other sakes, including Miriam and me and people who are listening to this today.
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: It's not over till it's over, and you know, god sustained you for something much greater, and I think if you're listening to our community, our mission today, you may be caught up in addiction.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be that way forever.
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: Kenny probably thought it was going to have to be that way forever, but it wasn't for him because he got to that place and he finally probably took a step.
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: Kenny, that you didn't know where you were going, you didn't know what this was going to be, but you knew you needed to.
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: Or maybe you have a son or a daughter or a mom or a dad who is struggling, maybe experiencing homelessness, may have addiction at the same time, maybe, not being experienced a homeless have an addiction, or whatever it is.
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: The awesome part of this whole thing is God, eternal knows you, knows the people you care about, knows who you love, and that, regardless of what it looks like today, it can be a Kenny Ball story one of these days.
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: And so, kenny, thank you for just being a great friend, a great brother and a great minister here at Topeka Rescue Mission.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: You're welcome.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: God bless you, man.
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: Thank you for listening to our community, our mission.
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: If you'd like more information about the Topeka Rescue Mission and to learn about more Kenny Ball stories that we have going on here, you can go to trmonlineorg.
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: That's trmonlineorg.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: Thank you for listening to our community, our mission.