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SMNTY Classics: The One With Friendsgiving · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny and Samantha and awk my stuff
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I never told you production by Heart Radio, and today
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: we are bringing back a classic on friendsgiving.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: I forgot we did this, the history of friends Giving.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: We love it. Yes, as you are at the time
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: of recording, about to go on your friends give miss
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: Friends Give Miss, which I actually kind of prefer because
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: then you're confining two things. That's all we can do.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: We were too busy. Yeah, yeah, it makes sense.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: I think that's smart, but that in the honor of that,
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: I did want to bring this one back because I
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: do think, yeah, a lot of us are trying to
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: meet up with people in any way that we can.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: The scheduling can be so tough. But the history of
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: friendsgiving is really interesting, So please enjoy this classic episode.
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: Hey, this is Anny and Samantha.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: I know kind of stuff I ever told you protector
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: to iHeartRadio. So today we wanted to talk about friendsgiving
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: and where it came from and what it asked to
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: do with emotional labor, especially for women that we've talked
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: about before.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: I'm sure a lot of us are feeling it right now.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Samantha and I just kind of had a mini distress
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: moment before doing this, So I want to ask you, Samantha,
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: do you celebrate friendsgiving?
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: So for a little while we did, and I just
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: remembered I had two different ones for two very different reasons.
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: Holidays are awful for me. I don't love it. Trying
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: to get better about it every year. I think I've
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: told this a story before. Every year, I really try,
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: and then when it comes around, I'm like, no, I
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: don't like it. I don't like it. Let me just
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: sit in alone on my couch. And of course, just
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: the last year with the pandemic and coronavirus going around,
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: and then my whole family got affected like real hard,
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: so it's really easy for me to step out of
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: that one. But of course that also meant we didn't
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: do the friends giving that we have done before. I
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: will say I had one group of friends who did
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: it when I would do racing, which is really weird
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: because I did a couple of half marathons where afterwards
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: I would go and I'm like, I'm eating pies all
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: day because I just ran thirteen point one mile and
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: I can do this right, And I remember celebrating with them.
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: We did that for a couple of years and then
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: that kind of fell through because they ended up having
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: their own families and or other traditions happened. And then
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: I went to another one, which was beautiful and they
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: were good friends and they just hosted a whole feast.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: So my two really good friends, one of them is
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: a chef, and he kills it and makes all these things,
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: best mac and cheese, all of the things, and we
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: come together and I usually bring in and like, hey,
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: I bought cookies. You're welcome, because I just get nervous
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: and I just get overwhelmed with all of that. As
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: you know, you've seen me cook. It's a task.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: It's always delightful, try.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: I really do enjoy it. I think it got bigger
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: and bigger for that one, and so it started getting
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: too chaotic for me, where I'm like, I have to
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: hang out with strangers now because friendless friend of friends
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: would come and then I'm like, what do we do now?
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: But that actually quickly changed to being like a secret
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: not secret Sannah, but like the silly sannahs where you
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: have to take away gifts from each other or whatever
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: that that gift is. I can't remember the name of it,
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: but so it became that as well because it would
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: be in between Christmas and Thanksgiving, so we would have
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: meal and share the meal, but it wasn't necessarily Thanksgiving,
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: so it was Friendsgiving obviously, but also geared towards Christmas.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: It became that, right, right.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: I think I also celebrate several different friends givings because
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: I have a lot of different friends groups that just
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: don't interact for one reason or the other. Usually it's
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: just they come from different points of my life and
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: they don't intersect.
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: Do you know. I've been thinking about this and maybe
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: we need to do an episode, But do you isolate
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: friend groups?
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah? I think you know. I'm pretty bad about it, honestly.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm a real I get really nervous about one
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: of my friends don't like.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: Each other, and I am I feel that same way.
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: But I feel like all of my friends should be
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: each other's friends quickly. So I just bring everybody together
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: no matter what, unless it's something specific like oh, this
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: is a work function, so we're going to keep those
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: a work function. But like if you make it into
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: my friend group, I try to mix up all of friends,
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: but I have several friends who you included that keep
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: them isolated in specific pockets, and I find that interesting,
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: whole different conversation.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: I will I will intersect the friend groups and it
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: almost always goes okay. I have a few instances where
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: it didn't, but I just get I.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: Get so in my head about it.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: I get so worried about it, and I'm always like,
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: what if they're mad I invited this person they don't know.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: I think about it way too much.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: But anyway, so for a while, I was going to
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: like three or four every year, and that's like a
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: different It's really funny to me that this holiday started
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: out as like a way to not be stressed and
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: have a relaxing one, and then, as we are wont
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: to do in America and with capitalism, it did sort
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: of get co opted. We're going to talk all about that.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: I still love friends Giving, but it was like, Okay,
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: now I've gone from like two celebrations to seven, and.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: So I celebrate. I'm going to one this Friday, hopefully
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: this Friday or next Friday.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: This Friday, because friends Giving usually takes place the Friday, well,
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: we'll talk about that. It usually takes place the weekend
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: before or after, like two weeks after Thanksgiving. But I
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: did have a friend that did it. They would have
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: their friends giving the day after Thanksgiving and I could
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: never go because like, I'm still in family mode at
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: that point, and it was always a bummer because I
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: wanted to go.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: I like those friends, but they also.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Lived like an hour away, so it wasn't right super
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: easy thing.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: Well, you know, Caroline previously of stuff ONM never told
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: you her birthday is always the day after Thanksgiving, and
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: it's always like right near Thanksgiving. Is always such a
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: bummer because she's like, no one's around. I can't hang
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: with anybody.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Right, I know, And I always do try to make
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: an effort to get to her party, which I feel
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: like she.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: Usually throws like two days later or something.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she tried because she knows if she wants people there,
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: typically she has to wait. But yeah, right away was like,
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: oh man, my sister's the same way. Her birthday's right
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: after Christmas.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've had some I have some friends that have
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: that issue well, and I feel like my main friend
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: group that I've had that does friends giving, we've been
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: doing it since high school, which is actually when it
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: started to get really popular, but it has also become
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: kind of a Christmas slash Thanksgiving where we exchange gifts
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: and stuff like that.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: So that makes sense to me, easier.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: To kind of mash it together, right, Okay, So we
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: wanted to talk about what friends giving is some of
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: the history behind it.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's pretty much what it sounds like.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Friends Giving is typically a gathering of friends of a
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: large meal. Happens sometimes around the American holiday of Thanksgiving,
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: sometimes as a replacement for the holiday usually celebrated with family.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: So for some it's a way to get out of
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: a family gathering, while for others it's much more of
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: a logistical choice, like maybe you're setting out of the country,
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Like I had a lot of friends in college who
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: you know, we're from a different country and they're not
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: going to fly home or even different parts of the country,
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Like not everyone can afford to do that, right, and
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: other celebrate so exactly right, right, right right, yeah, And
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: maybe for whatever reason, you don't have family to celebrate with.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: For some who may live at home with their parents' family,
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: it's a nice way to get to the house and
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: get some space. And I remember in high school feeling like, oh,
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: we're having a It felt like we were adult or.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: Something like we were hosting nice. Yeah.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: I have some friends that do it in part because
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: they can't drink at family events.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: And you know, it's just nice to know that.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: You're generally aligned culturally, politically, socially with the other attendees,
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: which might not be the case with your family.
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: Case in point, ye, my family, which is also why
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: I don't want to go home, but I must and
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: I do.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: I am very honest and open. I love my family,
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: I really do. And as a child, I did enjoy
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: the Thanksgiving thing. It made me feel homey, it made
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: me feel nice. We had some little traditions. It was
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: when I started getting I'm like, oh, this is getting bad.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: This is the conversation is getting bad. Oh, we are
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: really awkward with each other because it's obviously that we're
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: growing apart and I'm starting to have my own ideals
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: and it's not aligning with yours. And this is getting
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: uglier because uh, one of my brothers is really really
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: good at just needling just enough, but my mom says
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: does the he's just joking, but also gets really uncomfortable
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: and tells him to stop. So both of those things.
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: Recently had a couple blow up with the families where
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: I don't have any. We've never outright had a conflict before,
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: and then all of a sudden, it's been kind of
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: between me and my mom because I probably share the
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: most with her. I don't talk directly to my siblings.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: I'm not close to them. So yeah, this is absolutely me.
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: And the first time I was able to like not
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: go home and I actually visited friends in Baltimore, it
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: was amazing and I wish I could do that. But
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: how do I do this every year?
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: I know?
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: For me, like growing up, we would go my mom's
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: side of the family, like all of her siblings would
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: come and they would bring their children and my grandparents
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: would be there, and it was really cool and I.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: Liked it, but I much preferred it when we.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Started doing it with like just our family, just a
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: small amount of people.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: It was much less stress. Even for me as a child.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Like I don't know, I was picking up on all
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: these things right right. So history wise, as far as
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: we know, the word first appeared in writing in two
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: thousand and seven on places like Twitter, A mashup of
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: friends and Thanksgiving used to describe an informal meal shared
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: with friends in the holiday season.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: People were quick to adopt the term. It really is
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: probably one of the more significant words that we all
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: know now in the US, and it started appearing in
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: things like magazines or edited print online, popping up in
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: a variety of lifestyle pieces in two thousand and eight
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: and two thousand and nine. Yes, so they're going to
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: mond tize like nobody's business, and this is an amazing
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: another holiday. Let's do this.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: Yes, and speaking of friends giving really took off in
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: twenty eleven because that year Bailey's Irish Cream used it
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: in an ad campaign and it was part of an
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey called Gobblefellows.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: Is this the one where she flips the table?
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: I have no idea.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: I need someone to tell me because I'm too lazy
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: to google this. I should never.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: Find out otherwise, listeners.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: You're I just remember the iconic scene. This is when
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: I was kind of watching the Housewives and New Jersey.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: They are they are entertaining, like I'm trying to find
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: the best words, and I I remember correctly. I wonder
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: if this is the infamous flip scene that's almost like
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: so many it became one of the best gifts for
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: a while.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: Well, listeners, let us know or you're counting on you.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: In twenty thirteen, Butter Ball, as in the Turkeys Yes,
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: filed a patent for friends giving herkey in southern California.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: In twenty thirteen, Taco Bell hosted a friends giving feast
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: with the slogan nothing is better than a friend.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: With Taco Bell.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: And you can find the invites online, you can find shirts,
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: you can find pictures and gave me some delight.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: So on TikTok just recently, and I will send you
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: this video, Anny, because I've sent you everything else. Why not.
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: A woman actually pretty much challenged Taco Bell, saying that
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: she lived in rural I don't know, it's not North
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: Carolina or somewhere maybe Georgia even and there's no Taco Bell.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: She's like, there's no way you can get this to me.
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: I dare how are you going to do this thing?
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: And so Taco Bell sent a whole care package to
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: her with all of these fancy air quotes, like dining
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: room stuff and including like side dishes, table runners, furs,
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: all of them with Taco Bell embroidery. They had like
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: stickers for her to give away patches. But it was
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: a whole meal and it wasn't Taco Bell. It was
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: Thanksgiving meal for her.
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: Wow, that's interesting. It wasn't Taco Bell.
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: No at think she got the sauces though, okay, which
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: apparently there's a shortage of oh yeah, you.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: Better watch it out. People love those sauces.
• 13:15
  Speaker 5: I do.
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: Sorry Taco Bell's killing this friends giving Thanksgiving thing. I'm
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: just gonna say.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: I really enjoyed learning about it. It made me laugh.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: These are just a handful of the companies that jumped
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: on the friends giving wagon in these early days. Over
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: seventy five thousand Facebook events contained the word friendsgiving in
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: twenty fifteen, and that same year mentioned some friends giving
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: doubled on the payment app venmo oh Venmo.
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: Now it's mainstream enough that a movie called Friendsgiving came
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: out in twenty twenty. I missed this one and it
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: got around a one point two million mentions on Instagram.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: That's awesome, And that same year Merriam Webster added it
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: to the dictionary. Well that is super official course, and
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: you can buy shirts, find how to recipes, and even
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: rules and commandments. I have seen a lot of etiquette
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: things about friendsgiving, I have tune. I was like, whoa,
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: you need to know the rules.
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: It's like a more a lot of clashes for sure,
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: including the fact that if you bring the wrong person,
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: if you bring guests, you're not supposed to how much
• 14:20
  Speaker 4: food you're supposed to bring and what you like if
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: you're supposed to bring drinks or not, Like that's a thing.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, any I've learned you're not supposed to expect to
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: use the person's kitchen like all sorts of stuff.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: Well, not that I ever did that, but I didn't
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: realize that I have cold food. Wow.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I feel like with all of these things
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: that you can find now, it does sort of get
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: away from the original attent to friendsgiving, which again was
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: supposed to be a much more relaxed hangout time.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: But more on that in a second.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: Social scientists believe that a part of the popularity when
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: it comes to millennials and friendsgiving also has to do
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: with things like delaying marriage, not getting married at all,
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: not having children, the shifting view of what family is
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: and can be friends of the new family with something
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: that came up in a lot of the articles I read,
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: So that makes sense.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's the new trend is that blood is not
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: your family. You make your own family. And we know
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: a lot has happened, especially when it comes to LGBTQ communities,
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: and how this has really been able to be replenishing
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: for them in the friends group, so in the family group.
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: Malcolm Harris, author of Because these Days Human Capital and
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: the Making of Millennials things is more of a sign
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: of the average lower income of millennials, saying, quote, friendsgiving
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: is a propaganda weapon used by the ruling class to
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: further their plans for wage stagnation.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was interesting, It was that interesting.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: Oh, and that was probably one of the lighter.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: But essentially like we can't afford to have Thanksgiving, our houses,
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: our family, it's a whole he wrote about it.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: So there's that as well. Okay, yes, yeah, cheers to that.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: So I think there's a lot of reasons going on
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: beyond the ones we've already listed behind friendsgiving. We've talked
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: before about how the emotional labor, which by the way,
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: it is a lot of emotional labor of the holidays
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: often falls to women, especially if you are a mother
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: or like ahead of the family in some way, or
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: it's you know you're expected to do a lot of
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: the planning, and during the pandemic this has become even
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: more laborious, draining and exhausting. I keep seeing all these
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: things about all the shortages going on and having to
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: get your gifts way ahead and plan the food way ahead,
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: all that stuff, which which is stressful. So when you
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: search friends giving, the results aimed towards women are interesting
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: because a lot of it sounds to me like essentially,
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: come as you are, where are your pajamas?
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: If you want, bring what you want, whether you brought it.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: At the store, made a much less stressful, more relax
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: and get together where women don't have to put on
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: this performance. A lot of it to me just sounds like, yeah,
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: you don't have to put on this performance, just come
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: have fun, which is interesting because I think it's really
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: telling that we created a holiday that's supposed to be
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: stress free, when in theory the holidays are a time
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: for relaxing.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: But who makes the magic. It's off in women?
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: I will say so the more recent friendsgiving that I've
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: been a part of as a same sex couple, and
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: it's my guy friends, and they are amazing at it,
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: and they do so they do a lot of work,
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: right to say that, I know, just as much as
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: I love, hosting is a whole venture.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: Yes, I have a friend couple like that as well,
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: And that was something else that I came across when
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: I was researching. This is again the whole idea that
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: maybe you don't have your delaying marriage or not getting married,
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: or your family doesn't accept you for whatever reason, but
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: you still want to host things. And some people do
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: enjoy that aspect of it, and like, you know that
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: feeling of I have enough space, like I've made it
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: and I can host something for some people that's really
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: really rewarding.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: I do like.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: It on occasion, right, but in general stressful.
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: It's a whole thing. I know, like the beginning, getting
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: everything together, try to put it together, making sure you
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: have enough food, making sure I've got the right food,
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: whether it's okay. This one doesn't drink, so I need
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: to make sure this is available for them. But this
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: one is lactose intolerance, this is vegetarian, so we need
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: to have these availabilities and don't let these things touch
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: like these are things that go through my head. And
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: then once I've seen that everyone has enjoyed it. And
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: what I mean enjoy, I mean eating all the foods,
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: or loving what's going on, or having a really good
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: conversation and or just relaxed. Then as after that, that's
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: when my satisfaction happens and like, oh my god, I
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: did it slash, I'm so glad that came. I love
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: my friends. Those types of moments, But the initial is
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: the biggest headache in anxiety, inducing a moment of like
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: scrounging and scraping about everywhere and rushing around like I'm
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: chicken with the headcut office and try to get it.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: Together yeah yeah, yeah, And then having that the fear
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: of the whole time of like if.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: Something's gone wrong, what if people don't have a good time?
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: Am I doing enough entertaining right?
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: Me? Having to hop around and make sure you've got plates?
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: And of course I'm mommy extra hard and I say
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: that in that I'm very Southern caretaker level social work
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: person here. That's so I need to know not only
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: have you eaten, you've gotten your drinks? Are you low?
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: I'm coming? What else do you want? Like that is
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: and so I never tried, I never stop m.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: Hm, Yes, this is true. I can attest.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: And I learned that from my mother to be fair,
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: which again puts that whole heavy burden.
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: Yep.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of that, especially as we've discussed
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: a lot of times, women aren't more socialized to be
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: like the event planners and the social people that making
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: sure everything's okay. And that's one of the things when
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: I started, I won't call it a feminist awakening, but
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: I started having.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: Like these questions.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: And I would get so mad on Thanksgiving because would
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: be me and my mom and we would just cook
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: all it in the kitchen and then people would come
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: down and eat, and then they would go back up,
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: and then we would clean everything up, and I was like,
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: this is some book, right, and then they would get
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: like frustrated if.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: If they would get hungry and it wasn't done.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Yet, You're welcome to come down and help. But then
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: if they come down and help. I have a lot
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: of people in my family who are not good at
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: making conversation and also are not good at like they
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: it's almost like they shut down when you tell them
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: how to do something and they don't know how to
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: do it, and then it's like, now I've.
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: Got to.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: See you, so it becomes a thing where you're like,
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: now it's gone from at least me and my mom.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: I say this as someone who loves my family as well,
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: but at least like me and my mom, like we
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: have easy.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: Conversation, We kind of know what to do. It's not
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: a stress.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: But if they come down and I gotta we gotta
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: have this conversation, and that's all the attention is on you.
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: But I think one of the big things that I
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: remember from my parents, my mother specifically, is as much
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: as she needed help, but because she would get frustrated
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: if it wasn't done in such a way. And I'm
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: not trying to gaslight this is not the pretending like
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: you don't know what to do and you mess up
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: on purpose. That incompetence. Incompetence dance is that tech level.
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: It's not even that. But she really has this ideal
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: of exactly what she wants, and she gets flustered and
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: can't communicate that well, and so in her mind, and
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: she'll tell you this, she would rather just go ahead
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: and do it than have to tell you because this
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: is going to be such a frustrating conversation by the
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: time she finished telling me or you or someone else,
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: she could have already done it in her mind, that
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: is her rationale. So having people around her, and she's
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: kicked me out at the kitchen many a time, just underfoot,
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: I just need to get this done. Literally being told
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: that the only person at some point in time she
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: finally trusted was my sister, who was almost as anal
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: as her, so it was like right on par with
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: each other. So she was able to trust that. As
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: she's gotten like much older and our family has grown
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: much more extensively, she has kind of cared less and
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: stepped back, which also is why we'll have Thanksgiving dinner
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: and it's sandwiches. And I understand why, but that.
• 22:53
  Speaker 6: Is one of the biggest disappointments I think I've ever
• 22:56
  Speaker 6: gone through, because I don't typically, you know, Christmas, I'm
• 22:59
  Speaker 6: not always home home and my mother is a good
• 23:01
  Speaker 6: cook and they're all great, and yes, I know it
• 23:03
  Speaker 6: takes a lot of et her, but I'm.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: Like, oh, this is my Thanksgiving holiday mail. Okay, But
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: again I understand why, and I get like, yeah, I'm
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: over it. She's over it. She's done, she's done. She's
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: done this for fifty something years now. Yeah, it's just like,
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: and I've had to be doing this for so long.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: Done, You're right, right, it makes sense.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: We've definitely there are definitely things that we've slowly kind
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: of let go. We're not going to do that anymore,
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: and we're not going to get out the nice.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: Whatever.
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, unless my mom feels fancy mm hmm, then I
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: do paper plates right right, yeah, just so much.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: It is a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: And actually, that was another thing I wanted to bring up,
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: is the reason Thanksgiving is on a Thursday in the
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: first place, is so that the wife would have time
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: to make this big feast for her family and the
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: traditional Sunday meal that used to be like every Sunday
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: you would do this.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: So that is why it's on Thursday.
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, right, Oh my goodness. I did not
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: know that. I'm very upset about the situation. And I
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: guess it makes sense because we know that Thanksgiving and
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: I know there's been an episode, So if y'all want
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: to go listen to it, please go about Sara and
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: Sifa Haill who is the godmother or the mother of Thanksgiving,
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: which happened during the Lincoln administration so way back when
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: as a way of unifying the country. We know that
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: that was the whole intent, and during that time, of course,
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: the women of the household would make a giant face
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: and or have their people, if there were enslaved people,
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: make an entire feast for whomever. Not knowing much about it,
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: I'm assuming it's also a rich person holiday at that
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: point in time about who can afford food and when,
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: because we know that through a whole thing. But the
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: first Thanksgivings were originated back to sixteen hundreds, and they
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: weren't as cute as you think they were, and a
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: lot of massacres happen as in fact, we know some
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: tribes and some communities will actually do this Thanksgiving us
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: a day of mourning, as it should. So it's not
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: pretty in any way whatsoever. And we have completely taken
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: it to a whole different realm. Yes, I do go
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: down dark paths, apologies, But in knowing all of that,
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: it's kind of like, oh, yeah, of course, what would
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: put more labor on women and not giving them a
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: day of like hey, this is a day of us.
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: It's more of a no, this is double your work,
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: good luck, right, And also this is the way to
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: save our community because we are ripped a shreds because
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: you know, the enslaved people, we will actually want to
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: have freedom and rights and abolish all of this nastiness,
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: but we need to keep the family together because you
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: know Jesus.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: Maybe yeah, I did it.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: I wasn't aware of the when we did that episode,
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: say jesse Fa Hale, which it really is an interesting story.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: I wasn't aware of this traditional Sunday meal. There could
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: be another reason it's on Thursday, but I know that
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: it is at least one of the reasons.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: She was like, we'll do it on Thursday.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: I don't give the women time to prepare for the
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: traditional Sunday meal.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: Won't mess with that.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: So I mean, that's that's pretty telling right there, right.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And I also think that friends giving just makes sense.
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: And I know I think I was.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Celebrating it before it was a thing, Like we didn't
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: call it that, but it we were doing that, right.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: It just makes sense to me, Like you want to
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: hang out with friends during the holidays. It might be
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: the only time you have off a bunch of your
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: friends and certain groups. Yeah, and so to me it
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: makes sense in that way. And also just want to
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: put in here. The term friendsgiving is often misattributed to
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: the show Friends.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: That is not where it came from.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: But they did celebrate what we would now call friendsgiving
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: on the show just right right.
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: I think I remember that? Is that the Turkey episode?
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: I mean they did it several in several episodes, but yes,
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: it is that one.
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I do remember, because I thought that was nasty
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: and I was like, why would you do this to yourself?
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: I think we also did that before friendsgiving became a thing,
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: and it was a way of exchanging presence in between
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: because of course you couldn't do it during family times
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: that I would want to give gifts to my friends.
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: And of course in high school you hung out with
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: your friends all the time, so you needed to make
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: that happen in order to do the gift exchange all
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: of that. I think later on it became a whole
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: different level of sharing food. At one point in I
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: was just going to restaurants and hanging out, and honestly,
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: like I was thinking about it for this year. I'm like,
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: I think I might just rent a back room invite
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: ten people. And that's the entirety of friendsgiving is. I
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: don't want to host it at my house. I don't
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: want to make anybody clean. I don't want anybody to
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: have to cook. We're just going to sit and chill
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: and hang period. And I feel like that would be
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: And we could also support someone who was having to
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: work during the holidays and get them money.
• 28:00
  Speaker 5: That sounds nice. Sounds nice.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: So to close out, I did want to talk about,
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: you know, some memories and traditions because I remember when
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: the pandemic was in full spring last year and we
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: were trying to think of ways to celebrate the holidays
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: in a time where it's so kind of different and
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: risky and ways to do so. So in that way,
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: we'll talk about some of the stuff that with some
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: of our memories and some things you might be interested in.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: And what I will say is I have been doing
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: cheese giving for about five or six years, and that
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: I have to say has been a hit with a
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: lot of people have written in about cheese giving, some
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: people have started celebrating it on their own, and I
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: applaud this that I'm very happy. But essentially, cheese giving
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: is a particular group of friends.
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: Of mine who all love cheese.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: And this is our specific friends giving, and we all
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: we get together, we make cheeseboard.
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: It's become like maybe I'll post some pictures.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: It has become a much bigger thing than it used
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: to be, where we'd all bring, like, you know, maybe
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: they'd be five cheeses.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: Now it's a spread.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: Now it's a whole thing, and we've gotten really good
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: at making a nice cheeseplate. And there's wine and usually
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: horror movies because of course. But some of the cheeses
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: I like on my cheeseboard are I like a bree,
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: I like a gooda, a groy air, a sharp cheddar,
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: and a goat cheese. Then I like cucumbers and siracha, yes,
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: oh yes, but my friends, so I bring that and
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: some wine. My friends will bring like what I would
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: call fancy your cheeses, so they really like espresso, cheese, wine, cheeses.
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: My favorite sarachies.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: Love love love, yes, yes, and it's a lovely, lovely time.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: And then I have another friend group where unfortunately I've
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: only made it to this friends giving once, but they
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: do a friends giving wreath where you write what you
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: what you.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: Wish or want in the coming year.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: And two of my best friends, one of them wrote
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: you know I'm going to marry this person on the
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: wreath and it got married. Yeah, yeah, I do. I
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: appreciate little things like that, traditions that we make with
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: our friends.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: Right, Yeah.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: And then I wanted to mention this because somebody a
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: listener wrote in about this and I'm so sorry, I
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: can't remember your name, and I think this was a
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: while back, so I couldn't it. But what they do,
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: or at least one time, they did a time where
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: everyone brought in like their favorite foods or foods from
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: their family or like their history, and in that way
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: you would just get this very interesting, like spread of
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: foods from all over and maybe things you'd never tried before.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: And it sounded like such a lovely thing.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: And she said the idea was from the movie Signs,
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: where I don't know, at the end of the movie,
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: I guess they think they're going to die. Maybe they
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: sort of have alass meal they're like, what do you want?
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: What's the thing you want? But I like that idea.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: I like the idea of just like, let's make it
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: really whatever it is, doesn't have to coordinate at all.
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: The luck Yeah, yeah, my friends are more on the
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: Google cheat, the Google.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: Yah, so that we have to make.
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: Sure and I'm usually like cookies, wine, You're welcome. I
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: did make a baked mac and cheese time. It was
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: pretty good. Yeah, for our friends stuff we don't have.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: I've been trying to get in on this cheese giving.
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: I've still not been invited. Anyway, my other friends, we've
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: done a lot of different things, and typically, like I said,
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: we do a Google doc spreadsheet. But one thing that
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: has changed as of late. My friends are ridiculously funny
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: and smart and tech savvy. I am not. They make
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: fun of me all the time because I'm like, here,
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna send this a gift and it turns out
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: to be a video and they can't play it and
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: they're like, why don't start with me? And I was like,
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: they would just do a whole rolling gift back and
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: forth and I couldn't participate, So I would just send
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: a link essentially and they would find that hilarious. But
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: because they are these geniuses, my good friends are the
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: same sex couple I was tell them about who who
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: pretty much just like Hosts Extraordinaire. One of them have
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: gotten to the like meme stuff, so they will do
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: bring your favorite memes and do crafts to make the
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: tree and they've done it for two years straight. Last year,
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: of course, I think they just sent pictures, but that
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: was kind of the idea behind what they were doing,
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: So bring your favorite memes. And I was like, I
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: don't know, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, And I
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: just popped up and showed up. But that's one of
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: the traditions that they do. And I was like, oh,
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: that makes that's cute. I like that. So they helped
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: decorate the tree beforehand, and that's their tree and I'm
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: like yeah, And then of course we do the white elephant,
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: do silly gifts anything in this put so like typically
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: people will do really good silly gifts every now and
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: then you get the really big things that are like
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: why did you, okay take it, like gift cards out
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: of nowhere. I'm like, yeah, okay, I have taken like
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: but the nerf guns as a president and all that. So,
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: but that that's the kind of traditions that they typically do,
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: and we typically do on that note and then just
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: sit and then whoever falls asleep first, and it's like
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: they get stuff stacked onto them.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well funny Funnily enough, I usually fall asleep
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: first that she's giving because it's as little as I sleep.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: I have a window and I if I'm tired and
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: I can fall asleep in that window, especially if it's
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: wine and cheese involved, I.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: Will fall asleep. So I probably have like four.
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: Or five pictures of that someone has taken while I'm
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: asleep at cheese giving every.
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: Time, typically and surprisingly it's not me. Now the last
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: two years, I've gotten really bad about falling asleep because
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: of drinks, and I'm like, I'm done, I'm over it.
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: But usually will sneak away so you can't find me.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: I don't intend to, it just happens suddenly. But yeah,
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: I like that. I like the meme chee crafts. That's
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: a fun that's a fun idea. So I know we
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: were going to give recipes, and then for the life
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: of me, I forgot which one I was gonna give.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: But one thing that I believe I've talked about before
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: on this show over on the other show I do Savor,
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: which is all about food and drink. We did an
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: episode once on Ambrosia, which was one of my favorite
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: episodes we've ever ever done because it could literally.
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: Be almost anything. It escapes the definition.
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: Be I feel like you shared one last year.
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: Yes, so that is one that it's super easy and
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: if you're looking for, because I think I also I
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: shared the sweet potato casseroll one and chocolate pie, which
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: are heavier, heavier things. But my version of ambrosia is
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: pretty much like juice whichever, Like if you like orange
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: juice or orange pineapple juice, I would stick with orange
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: or pineapple pineapple and it could be fresh or you
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: could get it already cut. And then oranges and coconut,
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: which you can also take the risk on a fresh coconut.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: You can get to shredded coconut and pecans and that's it.
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: Just put them in a container and it's fruit soup.
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So like I'm like, is that jello? People do
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: it with jello too.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: Most people do with yellow or marshmallows. I've never heard
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: of this. Yeah, it's not what my ambrosia is.
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I've seen the cloudy looking ones and I'm like,
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: what is what is happening? So I don't trust ambrosia.
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: I'm not gonna lie. I don't know what you put
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: into it. Now I know what you put into just
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: now I know what you put into it, But I'm like,
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: is this just the fruit cups frozen?
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: Well?
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: Usually it's it's much nicer. It's pressure and I like
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: the touch of the pecans. It's surprisingly popular among my
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: friend group because it is kind of a strange, very
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: strangest thing that I make.
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: Very Southern.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: Yes, but again, when I was looking at when I
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: was researching for that episode on Ambrosia, I was like,
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: people do what no right?
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: You know, one of my new traditions with my sister.
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: My sister has come upon really great and you just
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: tried this, you and your friend actually really great chicken
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: and dumpling recipe, And that's become kind of a staple
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: where she would bring it because my son I love
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: chicken and dublings, and so I've been requesting it for
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: a while and her daughter, her oldest daughter, really loves
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: chicken and doublings. So it became a fan favorite and
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: she would bring it every year. And I'm hoping that
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: happens again because no matter what, at least we have
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: chicken and dumplings, whether I'm eating sandwiches and chicken dublings
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: or one time lasagna and chicken and dublings. We have
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: weird meals in my house. I'm just kidding. My mother's trying.
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: This is her way of trying to be adventurous, and
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: I think it's really a normal Actually. Yeah, So our
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: new little tradition is having more chicken and doublings and
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: you had it super easy. Which I had a whole
• 37:33
  Speaker 3: conversation with Holly from Stuff you missed in History class
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: and Criminelia about her ideal of chicken and doublings, and
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: it was super interesting about the differences. And I do
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: wonder what other people's recipes are because I go into
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: the soupy with thick doublings that stick to the roof
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: of your mouth type of dumplings with chunks of white
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: chicken breasts, no veggies. Where's those veggies coming from? That's
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: the meal that I think of for chicken and dumplings,
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: And honestly, it's probably top five meal for me. So
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: I do want to go because it is to me.
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: Now it's become a Thanksgiving tradition. I do wonder. I
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: have another question for y'all, what are everybody's thoughts on
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: chicken and dumplings? Because I talked with you for a
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: second and with Lauren about maybe I should come on
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: and talk about my chiga in docklays because I think,
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: and it's not mine, it's my sister, so I can't
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: claim it, but I do make it. But yeah, that's
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: one of our traditions. And it is also very Southern
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: because I figured out my partner, even though he's from
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: the South, never had it until I made it. I'm like, well,
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: you lived in Georgia as a teenager and as a youth,
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: I don't understand, right.
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: I do love those conversations where everybody has a different
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: understanding of what the same thing is right. And that
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: was actually one of the friends Giving episodes on Friends
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: they had. Monica was trying to make everybody's favorite thing
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: and it was like four different types of potatoes, right
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: of mashed potatoes, and just how people thought it should
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: taste and what should would be. Yeah, so listeners, let
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: us know your thoughts on chicken and dumplings. If you
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: have any recipes you want to try, please send them
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: our way. If you have any traditions you want to share.
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: If you're celebrating friends giving any of the upcoming holidays,
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: we hope that you have a safe and lovely time.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: We always love hearing from you. You can email us
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: the Stuff medium, MoU Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: can find us on Twitter at momp Stuff podcast or
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: on Instagram at Stuff I've Never Told You. Thanks as always,
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: you're our super producer, Christina. Thank you, Christina, and thanks
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: to you for listening Stuff I've Never Told You.
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: The protective of iHeartRadio. For more podcast on iHeartRadio, is
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: it the aheart Radio
• 39:39
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